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Yagami Kumi

Review: The Stars Above

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Hello all, and welcome to my Epic commemorating my return from BZP hiatus of around 5 years, give or take. This story takes place on the island of Metra Nui, and is set in the same reality as the Core Dimension, albeit some time after, and deliberately written in a way similar to the storyline circa 2001, though with changes here and there to prevent it from being a rehash.

 

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Edited by Yagami Kumi

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Nice intro teaser. I bet it is going to be something purely epic! Yeah, I would really like to follow your story updates through RSS if possible. But I am not sure how to exactly do that. :/

 


I'm no new member to BZP, but I've been gone for some 5 years, 6 years? Some people may remember me, but much time has passed and we have all changed vastly. (I, for one, am no longer a crazy 10/11 year old with a terrible sense of humour, though crazy nonetheless.)

Hey, same here. I haven't logged on BZP since 2004. So whoa! A lot of things has changed.

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Reading through the recent chapters, it runs INCREDIBLY close to that of the original 2003-2003 story, in some ways seeming more like a rehash than something of a later time. It is really well written, but you need something more than time to discern and differ yourself from the Bionicle story.

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I would like to point out something. This does -not- take place in an alternate universe, but rather, set in the Main Universe albeit some time after. It does link to the original story, though I decided to take it back to its not complex roots, partially to appeal to non-fans of Bionicle.


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I must say I like where this is going. This Metra-Nui you've created feels a lot like 2001 Mata Nui, which I am definitely a fan of. I did notice some grammar issues that could be worked on, such as confusing verb tenses, but they are rather minor and don't distract from the story too much. You say this takes place in the cannon universe, so I can't help but wonder what happened to the original Mata Nui Toa, but I suppose this will be answered with later chapters?

 

Anyway, it seems that the plot is starting to kick in with the latest chapter, so i'm excited to see where it goes! Keep it up!


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REVIEW TOPIC

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 7's up. Had a semi hiatus due to exams (crey those evil things) A little shorter than I expected though err my motivation is kind of shot. Hopefully the rest are to come sooner or later. (the former, preferably)


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As much as I love the old-school 2001 feeling, and Toa Kotraka seems like an interesting character, I'm really beginning to fret that this feels too much like a rehash rather than its own story. Kotraka's introduction brought us into new terrain, only for Akata's introduction to send us flying back into familiar territory.

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