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Nuju Metru

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I'm in agreement with Johnrahk in regards to the first one - it just feels a little too much like Corpus Rahkshi - sandbox, player-run plots, etc. It's not really bringing too much in way of new ideas to the concept. 

 

The second one seems pretty similar to how it was when you originally showed it to me, so I've not much to say regarding that except it still sounds like an awesome idea.

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Frontier

 

 

 

 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final frontier: Space!

 

 

 

Okay, i'll make this quick:

 

When the Agori discovered the unknown metallic fluid and began a war over it, the great spirits created hundreds of poorly designed 40,000,000' tall robots. As the planet shattered, it broke into many many planets instead of three, and the machines were clumped around the remaining rock, creating a metal, sparking mess. After several years, it changed into a futuristic utopia thanks to the hard labor put into it. Finally, the farther-away planets were accessible via small spacecraft, escalating into a fight to control the other worlds and all of space.

 

You live in this world, and you have to make a name for yourself. Join the army, become a mercenary, or just travel around, and take in the wonder of jungle moons, frigid planets, and nuclear stars. And whatever you do: buy a spaceship.

 

 

This RPG will run on the prospect of adventure and discovery. Spaceships will run at different costs and sizes depending on species, and species has yet to be decided. And, of course, you can't forget lasers. Lasers that can cause impact damage, lasers that can pass through objects, lasers for this, lasers for that, lasers that can even... Move planets.

 

Of course, I'm never gonna be able to do this by myself, and this is a very scratchy concept. Any ideas?

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I see an awful lot of concepts trying to do different things. Player spread is a very real risk, especially with how much variety you're trying to offer up. Space exploration games can work, but they're very dependent on a good staff team, and a dedicated playerbase. The last real entry into the genre was Era, killed way back when by a site downtime.

 

Honestly, there isn't much to comment on yet. It's maybe 11% of the way to being a concept. Right now it's mostly just a genre.

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On this eve, the thirtieth anniversary of that first colony, many are left to wonder; is the world fast approaching a breaking point?

 

 

  Breaking Point: An OTC Mecha RPG

 

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Well I'm always up for a good space RPG. Should probably give my suggestions for this one.

 

 

When the Agori discovered the unknown metallic fluid and began a war over it, the great spirits created hundreds of poorly designed 40,000,000' tall robots.

 

Hundreds? Last I checked it was hard enough for the Great Being to make two in the time they had.

 

 

As the planet shattered, it broke into many many planets instead of three, and the machines were clumped around the remaining rock, creating a metal, sparking mess.

 

Chances are you won't be getting that many more planets and still be able to call them such. The planet going through a real shattering also means that most everybody is now dead from the force. Also, are the giant robots scattered among the different planetoids?

 

 

Finally, the farther-away planets were accessible via small spacecraft, escalating into a fight to control the other worlds and all of space.

 

So are there different factions now or something? Can we lead them and take over the new solar system?

 

 

You live in this world, and you have to make a name for yourself. Join the army, become a mercenary, or just travel around, and take in the wonder of jungle moons, frigid planets, and nuclear stars.

 

Kind of wondering where these new stars came from since it was just the one planet that exploded.

 

 

This RPG will run on the prospect of adventure and discovery.

 

Probably the part that would be the most of a problem. I would love to play as my own personal Enterprise but making the RPG open world would just kill it right off the bat. Most successful space RPG had a strong central plot that drew everybody to a central location and prevented too much player spread.

 

 

Spaceships will run at different costs and sizes depending on species, and species has yet to be decided.

While I do like the idea of a bunch of different spaceships this sounds a lot like a money system. It could work if done properly but people really try to avoid those in this forum.

 

 

And, of course, you can't forget lasers. Lasers that can cause impact damage, lasers that can pass through objects, lasers for this, lasers for that, lasers that can even... Move planets.

 

Lasers don't...do...that.

 

Um well, I would be glad to answer any questions you have about sci-fi technology and how to make the crazy stuff happen.

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"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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If they could do in in transformers

 

they could do it here.

 

 

I originally had planned for different crews on massive ships, but that seemed to make it even more complicated.

 

Different factions is a definite yes.

 

Money system seemed like a downsize; I just wanted to see the opinions before I ruled it out completely.

 

 

The other variation I had in mind was two major factions stationed on only two planets, constantly in war with each other, with as much sci-fi armour and weapons as needed.

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Working Title looks okay, but I'm not sure I'd want to play another RPG centered around a school with Corpus Rahkshi still in existence. Even though I recognize the numerous differences, it seems a tad redundant to me, especially since playing a Matoran doesn't seem nearly as awesome as playing a Rahkshi. :shrugs:

 

I really like Untitled Document, though. Just a bunch of minor things I'm wondering about:

 

- Is a Master locked to one specific Servant, or can they trade them out somehow?

The contract stays active until one or both halves die. If the master dies, the servant sticks around for a little while before fading, they can recontract to a servantless master or to another master with a servant, at the cost of power to both servants

- What happens when a Master has used all three Seals? Do they lose the Servant, get ejected from the war? Or is it as simple as not having any more seals?

As simple as not having anymore seals

- Are the 'one hour' for information to appear in the Anonymous Grimoire, and the several hours to transfer another Master's book's information to yours, IC or OOC time?

It's an artifact from the draft being old, I've been meaning to update it saying that you need simply wait a "fair" amount of time IC for it to transfer. I was toying around with the idea of a set timeline unlike other games, but decided to drop it

- Does the 'no duplicates' rule out summoning different forms of a hero, like say Matoro Inika if Matoro Mahri is already taken?

Actually, no. Think of the Red Star (in this game's canon) as a backup drive, storing various versions of people. Matoro as a matoran might be v1.0, Matoro as an Inika v1.1 and so on. All versions would be available, with different skill sets and powers. For example, Vakama Hordika would basically have to be a berserker of some type while his other versions have more variety

- Is there an IC reason for the rule, and would Masters know about it, and thus be able to deduce from the fact that they were unable to summon Matoro Inika that someone else already had?

Deducing as such is possible, correct. Though it kind of boils down to expectations of fair play that you don't say you tried to summon all the current summoned people, so know who's summoned and etc etc

 

Probably someone more widely experienced in RPing can offer a better critique, but this is what I see

...but close to it

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I originally had planned for different crews on massive ships, but that seemed to make it even more complicated.

 

Having a couple different ships with collections of players on them could work.

 

 

Money system seemed like a downsize; I just wanted to see the opinions before I ruled it out completely.

 

I think that having a Firefly-esq setup where people need to take jobs to earn enough money to keep the ship going would be interesting. Not sure how many other people would go with the idea though.

 

 

The other variation I had in mind was two major factions stationed on only two planets, constantly in war with each other, with as much sci-fi armour and weapons as needed.

 

This would also work. In fact I might suggest going with it rather than the large open world game.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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I never actually catch RPG in it's starts and it is mostly impossible for me to catch later: I don't have experience with RPing, but I would definitely want to get some. And I love space and your idea seems interesting so I think I would participate and help with testing out the concept.

At some point, I'll suddenly go on hiatus. I'm sorry for that.


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  • 2 weeks later...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome... To the final frontier!

 

 
 
Here we go again.
 
You are part of an army being organized and trained, how you arrived there is your own story. Similar to Corpus Rahkshi in ways, although here, good luck killing anyone in broad daylight. 3 0r 4 different species to play as (Matoran is a definite yes, Vortixx maybe) and this time you'll actually be sent out against the enemy factions in brutal combat.
 
Factions: At the moment, there's only two. Empire Hand, formed from the Order of Mata Nui, and Dead Conquest, formed by the rugged fighters of the free world.

 

Out-Of-Reach Tech: More weapons for you to use may be available in the future, but hyperspace, tracking beacons, and other high-power devices can only be used by the faction leaders and higher ups.
 
Combat: you'll be fighting in two massive spacecraft, both heavily armed and guarded to prevent any attack from harming it. You'll be given your own spacecraft, which you're responsible for taking care of. The last things that will go out in combat are your oxygen supply and your fuel, so you can treat them like actual beings in combat. 
 
Planets: Ah, here's the fun part! now and again i'll introduce missions for the factions to find and control unknown planets, and whatever Rahi or materials that are there is yours for the taking. Capture planets to establish bases. And do expect on-planet gunfights. Each Faction main ship has several massive dropships, which take your ships to destinations for you via hyperspace. Saves a lot of time.
 
Weapons: Pending. Generally you'll get a laser rifle or pistols, but works on an overheating principle, so you can't send an endless stream of laser fire into a base until it explodes.

 

Basic weapons types include:

 

Pistol: the small energy pistol uses a few shots at a time, but has to cool down its charging clip or you can replace it with an already cool one. Get hit by one of these shots, and it's liable to do minor damage to your armour. Two can be carried at a time.

 

Energy rifle: These fire one shot at a time, although getting hit by one is the equivalent of getting punched. It won't bump off you, and it can't blow your body apart.

 

Crossbow: Invented by the Empire Hand, this steel crossbow is engineered to fire metal arrows at high speeds, and these do the damage you'd expect them to.

 

Ballistic Knife: Dead Conquest made a knife handle that shoots the blade out. Silent and deadly at close range, although it can only fire three times before running out of compacted fuel.
 
Can't: Go into hyperspace. I don't want you zipping around the universe like nyan cat and blasting everything in sight, before darting away again. Otherwise Mr. Crunchy will get you.
          Disobey any BZP or BZPRPG rules. That just goes without saying.
          Completely change your vehicle. I will have customizations available, but you're not gonna turn your spacecraft into a death star.
          OP-ifying your character. You aren't an unstoppable engine of destruction, and that's final.
 
Ships: Pending. There's going to be three types to choose from, and you can modify them to an extent from there.
 
 
Well, whaddya think? it needs lots of work, but I got something started.

Edited by Ghidora131
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   Kill the un-killables. Trying to snipe a faction's leader will result in them surviving, and throwing you into space without a space suit.

Biggest thing that stood out to me.

Remember what happened with Asylum? Staff NPCs shouldn't be too important to the plot- otherwise there's plot armour, and no-one likes that. (Once again, I refer you to Asylum.)

 

 

 

Combat: you'll be fighting in two massive spacecraft, both heavily armed and guarded to prevent any attack from harming it. You'll be given your own spacecraft, which you're responsible for taking care of. The last things that will go out in combat are your oxygen supply and your fuel, so you can treat them like actual beings in combat. 

Do you have any idea as to how to keep track of people's oxygen and fuel?

 

 

 

Factions: At the moment, there's only two. Empire Hand, formed from the Order of Mata Nui, and Dead Conquest, formed by the rugged fighters of the free world. I may or may not make Dead Conquest a playable faction.

Make all factions playable.

 

Planets: Ah, here's the fun part! now and again i'll introduce missions for the factions to find and control unknown planets, and whatever Rahi or materials that are there is yours for the taking. Capture planets to establish bases. And do expect on-planet gunfights.

 

 

Can't: Go into hyperspace.

These two seem to clash a bit: if we have laser weaponry which never needs to charge, shouldn't that mean we're at a level of technology where we've discovered all planets within normal flight range, meaning that to discover new planets we'd have to use hyperspace technology or just spend our lifetimes travelling out into space?

 

Other than that, I'd say I'm not really getting a proper feeling as to what sort of universe it's set in, so you'll want to expand on that a bit.

Overall, I'd say it looks okay for a first draft, but as I said earlier, you need to give us a feel for the actual setting, and just as a quick warning in case you didn't learn from Asylum-

Come up with a plot that doesn't require railroading of the players.

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1. If we're still going through the equivalent of basic training, isn't throwing us up against enemy soldiers/spaceships almost immediately an extremely bad idea, considering that we're still learning how to fight and pilot our vehicles?

2. Giving players more to do would increase the likelihood of your game sticking around longer, so making as many factions playable as possible would be a plus.

3. @Miras: The Combat Section seems to imply that there are personal ships and larger ships, which I'm assuming are effectively going to be used as transport vessels for the smaller ones in addition to serving as a home base of sorts. If the big ships are the ones doing the traveling from system to system, then having hyperspace technology installed inside of the personal ones isn't really necessary.

4. For the sake of just being easier to work with and maintaining acceptable levels of playability, I'd suggest keeping the original weapons from the Bionicle universe instead. That, and I'm not exactly seeing too much in the way of a Bionicle influence here in this draft, besides the appearance of the words "Matoran" and "Vortixx" in the first paragraph. Maybe going back to your original version and attempting to modify the setting so that it fits into this would be a good idea, maybe it's already there and I'm just oblivious to its existence since the none of the text was rewritten, but either way, there needs to be some sort of backstory and possibly some more references back to the original source material. Everyone can say whatever they want about Asylum, but at the end of the day, even that game had basically an entire universe built around it.

5. I'm in complete agreement with Miras and Chumpu on my last issue, which is about the NPCs being protected by Plot Armor. I know it's easier to write a streamlined story where events happen for very specific reasons, but when writing for an RPG, it has to be as open as possible to account for what Asylum was sorely lacking to begin with; player freedom. If the game's giving off the vibe that people can't do what they want with their own characters, within reason, of course, then your playerbase is literally going to evaporate, and the whole thing is going to bust on you.

Edited by Timageness
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Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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Weapons: Pending. Generally you'll get a laser rifle or pistols that doesn't run out of ammunition, but works on an overheating principle, so you can't send an endless stream of laser fire into a base until it explodes.

 

Lasers are incredibly OP. I know you want to build the space vibe or whatever, but if lasers are so common in this game that everyone has them, you're going to have a veritable epidemic of unrealistic dodging and whatnot. 

 

Kill the un-killables. Trying to snipe a faction's leader will result in them surviving, and throwing you into space without a space suit.

 

I think pretty much everyone's said this already, but this needs to be changed. The fact that this rule even exists really shows that you haven't learned a thing from what happened in Asylum.

Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Coming 2024 

Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review

BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash

BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base

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Lasers aren't really that much more overpowered than any other projectile weapon in RPGs (keep in mind, this is a universe where beings can throw fireballs and orbs of plasma whenever they want to); if played responsibly, lasers can still be realistically used and dodged, just as much as "less OP" weapons such as crossbows and conventional firearms can be abused or autododged.

 

I'll also add my voice to the choir that, yes, NPCs should be killable, no matter their importance, so long as it is done in a realistic and fair manner.

 

-Void

Edited by Bad Machine
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if i may offer an example, idk if it helps but, if you want your NPCs to not-die, give them a reason to not be killed?

 

an example i suppose is the current leader at Corpus Rahkshi, could you attempt to kill Icarax? yes. coudl you suceed? heck maybe.

 

are odds in your favor, realistically? no.

 

do you want to kill a makuta and suffer the wrath of other makuta?

 

well, if so, your funeral.

 

(basically, if they're gonna be "unkillable" it should more of be from a "this is clearly a faction leader, attacking this guy will probably get the whole player-based faction on your tail." sort of standpoint?)

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NPCs should be killable, no matter their importance, so long as it is done in a realistic and fair manner.

Thank you, one person who doesn't hate me for Asylum.

 

The Combat Section seems to imply that the personal ships and larger ships, which I'm assuming are effectively going to be used as transport vessels for the smaller ones in addition to serving as a home base of sorts. If the big ships are the ones doing the traveling from system to system, then having hyperspace technology installed inside of the personal ones isn't really necessary.

No, that wasn't implied, but that sounds like a much better idea than tracking a dozen mini ships across space. Thank you.

 

Lasers aren't really that much more overpowered than any other projectile weapon in RPGs (keep in mind, this is a universe where beings can throw fireballs and orbs of plasma whenever they want to); if played responsibly, lasers can still be realistically used and dodged, just as much as "less OP" weapons such as crossbows and conventional firearms can be abused or autododged.

"Lasers" would also be dulled down on their affect, and plus either faction you choose gives you a special suit of armour. You need it if you're going to be planet-hopping and expecting to do ridiculous stuff in your spaceship.

 

Giving players more to do would increase the likelihood of your game sticking around longer, so making as many factions playable as possible would be a plus.

I can't make any more until I have the main two situated. Once I get them anchored in, i'll work on more.

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Lasers aren't really that much more overpowered than any other projectile weapon in RPGs

 

Hm... yes, I guess I didn't stop to think that through. Should've clarified something first: are these flashy, slow-moving Star Wars-esque lasers, or deadly, precise real life ones? 

 

"this is clearly a faction leader, attacking this guy will probably get the whole player-based faction on your tail"

 

I dunno. In a game like this, the only real reason I can think of for someone to be trying to kill a faction leader would be to take over the faction themselves. I doubt this line of reasoning is really going to stop people from trying, and I think punishing players who succeed by throwing endless hordes of NPCs at them until their character dies would be kind of stupid. 

 

Thank you, one person who doesn't hate me for Asylum.

 

Looking back through the past few posts, I can't seem to find anyone saying they hate you. 

 

What they seem to be doing is expressing their disappointment at you not learning from the past, in trying to turn the thing that was the primary catalyst for the downfall of your last game into a hard and fast rule for your new one. 

  • Upvote 6

Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Coming 2024 

Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review

BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash

BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base

Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar

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From what I've seen, the most important thing to an RPG is a plot that has room to branch out in different directions and allows players to make meaningful impacts. For example, Corpus Rahkshi is about player interaction and their actions can affect where the story goes or what the GM will do next. In a bad RPG like Asylum, the players are railroaded and the plot is so dependent on being followed that there is no room for it to go in a different way.

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In a bad RPG like Asylum, the players are railroaded and the plot is so dependent on being followed that there is no room for it to go in a different way.

 

Asylum itself wasn't bad, really. The concept was sound, it was well setup, and in the beginning, it was actually pretty good. It was just executed poorly, by inexperienced staff. 

 

It wasn't dependent on railroading to any extent - the staff both had different ideas of where they each wanted the game to go, and failed to take into account the wishes of their playerbase. 

 

How would I go about making my own rpg? What components do I need? Is there a guide?

 

I would strongly recommend having a look over some of the existing games on this forum - Corpus Rahkshi, the BZPRPG, Y60K, MuP and Bionifight - and perhaps joining some of them and playing for a while before attempting to make your own game. 

  • Upvote 4

Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Coming 2024 

Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review

BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash

BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base

Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar

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In a bad RPG like Asylum, the players are railroaded and the plot is so dependent on being followed that there is no room for it to go in a different way.

 

Asylum itself wasn't bad, really. The concept was sound, it was well setup, and in the beginning, it was actually pretty good. It was just executed poorly, by inexperienced staff. 

 

It wasn't dependent on railroading to any extent - the staff both had different ideas of where they each wanted the game to go, and failed to take into account the wishes of their playerbase. 

 

How would I go about making my own rpg? What components do I need? Is there a guide?

 

I would strongly recommend having a look over some of the existing games on this forum - Corpus Rahkshi, the BZPRPG, Y60K, MuP and Bionifight - and perhaps joining some of them and playing for a while before attempting to make your own game. 

 

that is good advice, I think I will do that, thank you!

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Well, might as well say something while I'm still here.

 

 

 

Factions: At the moment, there's only two. Empire Hand, formed from the Order of Mata Nui, and Dead Conquest, formed by the rugged fighters of the free world.

 

Two factions work best when you have some real plot in mind. If you want something more sandbox-like I would suggest either making one or two more or even letting players make their own factions. It would give more of a reason for people to gather resources.

 

I'm not really sure about the two factions that you have though. Both have names that make them sound like bad guys and yet one grew out of a good guy geoup and the other is described as some sort of collection of freedom fighters.

 

 

Out-Of-Reach Tech: More weapons for you to use may be available in the future, but hyperspace, tracking beacons, and other high-power devices can only be used by the faction leaders and higher ups.

 

This part makes sense although it could use some expansion. Never seen a tracking device described as "high powered" though.

 

 

 

Combat: you'll be fighting in two massive spacecraft, both heavily armed and guarded to prevent any attack from harming it. You'll be given your own spacecraft, which you're responsible for taking care of. The last things that will go out in combat are your oxygen supply and your fuel, so you can treat them like actual beings in combat.

 

So from the sound of it each large ship acts as the home base or hub for a faction and we each get a shutle for personal use. Sounds workable.

 

I'm pretty iffy on the air and fuel thing though. Anything larger than a fighter is going to have several days worth of air on it at least. Same thing with fuel, assuming they even use it and Core energy reactors or something.

 

 

 

Planets: Ah, here's the fun part! now and again i'll introduce missions for the factions to find and control unknown planets, and whatever Rahi or materials that are there is yours for the taking. Capture planets to establish bases. And do expect on-planet gunfights. Each Faction main ship has several massive dropships, which take your ships to destinations for you via hyperspace. Saves a lot of time.

 

Seems pretty good here, although I do have to wonder how large the flagships are if each one has several large dropships.

 

 

 

Weapons: Pending. Generally you'll get a laser rifle or pistols, but works on an overheating principle, so you can't send an endless stream of laser fire into a base until it explodes.

 

My time to shine.

 

I would suggest going with a charge capacitor/clip system rather than an overheating system. It makes it seems less clunky and more sci-fi.

 

 

 

Pistol: the small energy pistol uses a few shots at a time, but has to cool down its charging clip or you can replace it with an already cool one. Get hit by one of these shots, and it's liable to do minor damage to your armour. Two can be carried at a time.

 

Ok I guess. I hope that I can get at least six shots off per clip otherwise these things seem pretty useless. I would suggest against putting a limit on how many a person can carry though. I know it's prebably to prevent people from geting around the recharge system but if somebody wants to bring nothing but ten pidly little lasers pistoles into battle with them that's their choice.

 

 

 

Energy rifle: These fire one shot at a time, although getting hit by one is the equivalent of getting punched. It won't bump off you, and it can't blow your body apart.

 

These seem very underpowered. It seems like you were trying to get across the idea that getting hit by one won't kill a player's character, but if it's the same thing as getting punched than it makes more sense to me to just have a character that goes around punching people instead of shooting them.

 

My suggestion would be to just make this a standared assault rifle and have a section that actually explains what the armor can do.

 

 

 

Crossbow: Invented by the Empire Hand, this steel crossbow is engineered to fire metal arrows at high speeds, and these do the damage you'd expect them to.

 

It's...it's a crossow. Not even a laser crossbow or an explosive crossbow. At least make it a magnetically accelerated crossbow otherwise that bolt is just going to ping right off any suit of sci-fi combat armor.

 

 

 

Ballistic Knife: Dead Conquest made a knife handle that shoots the blade out. Silent and deadly at close range, although it can only fire three times before running out of compacted fuel.

 

If that thing uses fuel to launch it's not going to be slient so I would suggest going with a system much the same as what I talked about with the crossbow. Also, chances are that you won't be getting the blade of that knife back after you shoot it.

 

 

 

Can't: Go into hyperspace. I don't want you zipping around the universe like nyan cat and blasting everything in sight, before darting away again. Otherwise Mr. Crunchy will get you.
          Disobey any BZP or BZPRPG rules. That just goes without saying.
          Completely change your vehicle. I will have customizations available, but you're not gonna turn your spacecraft into a death star.
          OP-ifying your character. You aren't an unstoppable engine of destruction, and that's final.

 

Rules are more or less good, a few comments though.

 

I must once against say not to just flat out take the BZPRPG's rules wholesale. Taking specific ones are fine but those rules have been fine tuned for the specific RPG and it's not the be-all end-all for how you should run your game.

 

I don't see why a person could not upgrade to a better ship if they gathered enough resources. Just make it a really high tier upgrade.

 

 

 

Ships: Pending. There's going to be three types to choose from, and you can modify them to an extent from there.

 

Either have a pretty good selection of ships or let people come up with their own within certain guidlines.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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Silvan pretty much tackled everything I was going to say about the revised version, so I only really have one or two points to bring up.

 

Ballistic Knife - Modern day designs for this type of weapon have the blade propelled by a spring, and for good reason. A show I used to watch actually attempted to build one based around gunpowder (since they technically fall into a similar category as switchblades, and are thus generally illegal to own in the U.S.A.), and while it did technically work, the blade was essentially rendered unusable for a second shot and the handle was just as liable to shoot backwards and injure the user if they didn't maintain a proper grip on it. Substituting gunpowder for fuel is just going to end up being a similar issue.

 

Armor - Are we talking about somewhere alond the lines of ballistic armor, or is it more like the shielding system from Halo? If it's the latter, both the blades of the weapon mentioned up above and the tips of the arrows/bolts for the Crossbow would probably need to be constructed out of a material that allowed them to bypass said shielding, otherwise they wouldn't exactly be too effective in combat. Just something to think about.

Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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I update this. 

 

1. Added Rahi to the steeds section. 

2. Added map and banner (for fun :shrugs:)

3. Clarified that Bionicle weapons are permitted (with the exception of cordak blasters)

 

I think the profile sections as they stand now are fine, but open to more feedback. 

 

Swiping permitted (still). Criticism, ripping this apart, complaints, and any other commentary welcome! 

 
20363239325_a314222621_z.jpg
 
Yee haw! Welcome to the Wild Bionicle West! Where outlaws run for their lives against the Sheriffs of NotNuibutter! Better get on your hat and saddle up for a ride under the stars. 
 
Hi, cowpokes, I'm Sheriff Smitty here with dem opportunitistic introduction. You better listen up, or dem outlaws will have yer head on zee cactus tommorrow night. 
 

Where We're At
 
Welcome, folks, to the land of NotNuibetter(or is it butter?), home to a buncha peaceful villages, trails where the outlaws go raidin', and one darn spooky train track I'd advise to stay away from if ya value yer life, sonny. 
 
Waterfall Village - Dis place is where the fine lady Serena lives, and she's a good looker, I must say. If yer a farmer, dis place is where ya turn your grain to be ground into bread for dem Agori to eat, and where you git your water if the river or the sky don't give it to ya. Also a good place to rest your weary bones. Lots of good healers dere is you're injured, and plenty of fine ladies if ya ain't. Just may sure to give dem a tip and a smile. 
 
Old Martha's Cafe and Saloon - Dis place is good food, and a lot of it. It's a good place to find me, since I enjoy a good slice of Old Martha's pie after a day on the beat. Plenty of good ale and good conversation with fine folk, I'll say. Located just outside the Waterfall Village, next to some fine inns for staying the night. 
 
Farmer's Fields and Villages - These are the places where the villagers and the ones who defend them work. Dese places can be darn dangerous, because dere's only a few people in 'em, and outlaws love to raid 'em for food and treasure. If you spend da night in dem place, watch yer back and keep yer gun loaded. 
 
Rolling Hills and Cacti - This place is the wilderness. No one in dere right mind ever goes here yonder, but there's rumors of treasure littered out here amidst all the gila monster. 'ersonally, I think the treasure some folks bring back is just what other parties lef' with, but it ain't like I've ever been wrong. 
 
The Mountain - This is actually what it sounds like. Some farmers grow stuff up there, there's a bunch of members of a strange religious cult up dere that believe that the mountain is closer to the "Orginal Beings", whatever they are. Bunch of malurky. Of course, there's this crazy story about a secret pool up there where powered gemstones can be found, but that's probably the cult's ploy to get more believers. I ain't buyin'. 
 
SherWheni Forest - This is were those blasted outlaws hang out. Nooks and crannys for them to hide, hideouts underground and in the trees, this place be ludicrously well defended, which is why me deputies an' I 'ave so much trouble gittin' rid of 'em, the buggers. Dey definately 'ave some healers and provisions stored up in dere somewhere, they do. Nasty buggers. 
 
Haunted Train Track - I advise you to stay afar away from here. Dis be where the spirits of dem dead players hang out, and they attack anyone who get near. Buncha fools have gone dere to talk to the corpse of dere granma, only to git killed by da spirit of dere worst enemy. No good. 
 

20336982436_20b173fb03_z.jpg
 
Who's Around Here Yonder
 
Villagers - A wide variety of folk live around here who are jus' peaceful villagers tryin' to survive. From the tough Agori growing food and raising animals, to the blacksmiths and craftspeople, to the teachers for the little Agori and Matoran and the healers, there's all sorts. Villagers usually have one steed and a weapon, and sometimes a power or two.
 
Sheriff/Police - These are my folks. We're the ones who defend the villagers from the evil outlaws and all that. We spend our time escortin' groups of villagers as they move around and expeditions into Sherweni forest. We usually take two weapons in 'ddition to our mounts.
 
Outlaws - These are dem rogue criminals I mention before. Dem no good, and unfortunately we don't know too much about 'em, other than what I mention before. 
 
Sealed Train of Doom - Every so often I see a train go by on the haunted train track. Rumor has it that there is a bunch of poor fellas inside, with protosteel and poison trappin' 'em in dere. Nobody knows were it comes from an' where it goes, and few want to. Personally I'd like to find out, but I got a job to do, folks, and no time fer chasin' funny legends. 
 

How to Git from one place to 'nother
 
Donkey: Attributes: Toughness. Speed: Slow. 
 
Donkeys aren't the best for speed, but they're the wilderness traveler's favorite, because they can eat most anything and don't require much water. 
 
Pony: Speed: Moderate. 
 
The standard animal for villagers, ponies will take you at a decent speed. You have to feed 'em regular, though, or they drop over dead. 
 
Horse: Speed: Fast. 
 
An outlaws choice of steed, a horse is what you need for swift approach to a fleeing villager. But a horse wilts easily in the hot sun of the west - if this is your ride, travel at night and camp in the shade during the day. And stay out of the wilderness. 
 
Biomechanical Dinosaur: Attributes: Toughness and Strength (or Flight) Speed: Slow (for land dinos) Fast (for flying ones)
 
Dinosaurs are big and strong. Villagers like them for carrying heavy loads or as intelligent guards for their villages; outlaws like their vicious pets with claws and teeth. Either way, these animals can pack a punch. 
 
Dragon: Attributes: Flight, Strength, Powered Breath Speed: Moderate to Fast.
 
Dragons are a force to be reckoned with. Their flight, combined with their strength and breathing powers, leave most enemies in the dust. But be careful - if your dragon is injured, you will be left without much means of defense, since many dragon riders ride light. 

 

Rahi: Attributes: Various Speed: Slow to Fast

Yes, you can ride a Rahi in this game. These animals have various abilities – Nui-Rama and Gukko can fly, Ussal are great pack haulers, and Visorak can shoot spinners at opponents – the latter is somewhat tempermental and prone to running away, but whatevuh butter your muffin sonny. 
 
Custom steeds are allowed, but they must be approved. 
 

Staff Folks
 
Name: Sheriff Smitty
Gender: Male
Species: Toa
Faction: Sheriff
 
Power/Weapons: My standard pistol for shootin' bad fellas. I also got me a baton for breakin' into places legal, an' some handcuffs for dem outlaws. Elemental Powuh of Electicity, suitable for zappin' fools so we can take 'em away. 

Steed: My good ol' horse Becky. Not so fast as she used to be, but a bit tougher than the faint ones corralled by dem young blokes. 
 
Appearance: C'mon, man! I'm the Sheriff of NotNuiBetter! Obviously I wear sheriff badge, uniform, and cowboy hat over my blue and white features. 
 
Bio:
 Sometime after dem big robot crash, I was handed a Toa stone and I got taller. Then some folks near where I was livin' thought I'd be good at huntin' dem criminals that were stealin' from 'em. I didn't argue. Turns out I was quite good an' 'ave been doin' it fer about 20 years yonder. 
 
Personality/Other: If you haven't figured that out yet, you haven't been readin', sonny. 
 
Name: Serena
Gender: Female
Species: Toa
Faction: Villagers
 
Powers: Teleportation. Serena can appear anywhere she wants in NotNuiButter, save on the Sealed Train itself via a special device she has. Elemental Power of Water and Kanohi Pakari.
 
Bio: Serena is the judge and arbiter of NotNuiBetter, resolving disputes between villagers all over the land. If you've got a dispute goin' and resolvin' it yourselves ain't workin', you take it to Serena. 
 
Personality/Other: Serena is a gentle and wise being. Some say that she's got somethin' to hide, but my guess is that dem people are mad because her resolution wasn't what they had in mind.    
 
Name: Robert Robin IV
Gender: Male
Species: Skakdi
Faction: Outlaws
 
Powers: Mass Teleportation. Robert is able to teleport the people and things around him to other locations. Impact vision.
Weapon: Cudgel. Robert carries a staff with metal rings around it which he uses in brawls. Sometimes he also carries a bow to take down enemies from far away. 
Steed: Horse, which he uses to git away. 
 
Bio: Robert is one nasty feller, but he's also brilliant and seems to outwit me and my deputies every time. To him, people are assets, profit is the highest goal, and anything else be not important. Pretty sure he traveled to NotNuiBetter from someplace, but wherever that place is I really don't want to know. 
 
Apparence: Robert is a green Skakdi to blend in with the trees of Sherwheni Forest. From what I seen of him, he wears lots of gold necklaces and rings, despite the fact that would slow most beings down. But not Robert.
 

Character Profiles and Rules: 
 
Name: (this be who ya are. Must be in letters, not numbers, thank yall.)
Gender: (Male, Female, or nonbinary. Kids these days and their nonbinary.)
Species: (any species that would be on yonder Spherus Magna. Toa, Glatorian, Agori, Matoran, Vortixx, Skakdi...)
Faction: Villager, Sheriff, Outlaw, or Sealed Train of Doom passenger. These are ment as guidelines: you can be of any faction save SToD and wander off on your own. Betrayal of your faction is allowed, although defectees from the village faction may be punished by the sheriff.
 
Power/Weapon/Steeds - What powers, weapons, and animals does your character have. Bionicle weapons such as Kanoka, throwing disks, and Midiaks are allowed. Cordaks are outlawed after one outlaw exploded an entire village with dem once, destroying the treasure along with it.

 

 
Bio: Character backstory.
 
Appearance: What they look like 
 
Personality/Other: Basic personality, and anything else you wish to add. 
 
Rules: 
1. Animal Characters are not allowed, since sapient species will be riding on them. If you want a custom steed, give it a rider/owner. 
2. Passengers on the Sealed Train of Doom are not allowed to have steeds. They may find hints to their destinations as they interact or try to escape. 
3. All RPG rules apply. No bunnying without permission, God-modding, or auto-hitting. 
----------------------------------------------
 

And that's all. Go!

Edited by fishers64
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Armor - Are we talking about somewhere alond the lines of ballistic armor, or is it more like the shielding system from Halo? If it's the latter, both the blades of the weapon mentioned up above and the tips of the arrows/bolts for the Crossbow would probably need to be constructed out of a material that allowed them to bypass said shielding, otherwise they wouldn't exactly be too effective in combat. Just something to think about.

 

More of a mix of the two. It would be ballistic armour with enhanced protective abilities, and a sleek, sci-fi look. No body-covering energy shields.

 

Also, we're not talking arrows with arrowheads and little feathers in the back. We're talking about a single, lightweight, steel rod with a very sharp and pointed end. I've used these in real life and they would not hesitate to pass completely through someone. Thanks to the armour, they'll be treated like standard arrows with quite a bit of knockback.

 

Two factions work best when you have some real plot in mind. If you want something more sandbox-like I would suggest either making one or two more or even letting players make their own factions. It would give more of a reason for people to gather resources.

 

I'm not really sure about the two factions that you have though. Both have names that make them sound like bad guys and yet one grew out of a good guy geoup and the other is described as some sort of collection of freedom fighters.

 

The two that exist both think they're good. And both have a villainous twist. I am going to add a strictly evil faction, and player factions will happen with approval.

 

My idea with the two is neither one winning will solve the problem, so if one gets eliminated, there's still reasons for people to try and make their own.

Edited by Ghidora131
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For the record, I was assuming that they would be more along the lines of modern bolts/arrows, and the special tips/blades were only a ssuggestion in case the armor was to be more like the shields from Halo. Since what you're implementing is more along the lines of modern body armor, that portion can be entirely disregarded.

However, since the purpose of body armor is to spread out the force behind the projectile in order to prevent it from entering your body, it should be noted that it's going to have a harder time doing the same for projectiles with smaller tips that are less likely to become deformed (such as the arrows/bolts or possibly even knife blades), as the force behind them is usually more concentrated into a singular point of impact. Since a direct hit with an arrow has been known to even penetrate some forms of medieval plate armor as well (which is about as effective as Bionicle's Protosteel equivalent), it would be slightly more realistic if these weapons could potentially ignore the armor in exchange for a slower rate of fire.

Epics: 

Hero Factory: Contagion

RPG Characters:

BZPRPG Characters

RPG History:

The Asylum, Bionifight Infinite, Year 60,000, Matoran und Panzer, HF RPG 2.0, Wasteland, Corpus Rahkshi, Skyrise

GM Résumé:

Matoran und Panzer (Formerly Appointed Co-GM), Corpus Rahkshi (Former Substitute Co-GM)

 

 

Feel free to shoot a PM my way if you're waiting for me to respond to something and I've been taking a while to do so.

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Here we go again.

You are part of an army being organized and trained, how you arrived there is your own story. Similar to Corpus Rahkshi in ways, although here, good luck killing anyone in broad daylight on your own faction. 3 or 4 different species to play as (Matoran is a definite yes, Vortixx maybe) and this time you'll actually be sent out against the enemy factions in brutal combat.

Factions:
 
Empire Hand
 
I used to know of this lot quite well, but they own the civilized universe and are looked upon as the good guys. Not so sure on that, though, but it keeps them busy.
 
Empire Hand was formed from the Order of Mata Nui after many of its original members were killed. Since then, they have let in anyone deemed good enough to fight, as they try to take over the rest of the universe. Heartily stating they intend only good, yet do otherwise, it seems nobody can be trusted anymore. Members of Empire Hand are heavily trained and disobedience is met with strict punishment. Good fighting and strict loyalty is the only way to move up in this type of sect.
 
-----
 
Dead Conquest
 
Nyahaha, they said. We are going to kill you, they said. Meh. Stereotypical bad guys, that's for sure. Or are they?
 
Dead Conquest is made of rebels of Empire Hand, always ready to tear people in two to bring liberation to all. Their brutal actions and rough training hide friendly leaders and a will to free the universe from Empire Hand's steel grip. Never be too trusting, though: they are painted as villains across the ears of the people.
 
-----
 
Dark Horizon
 
Too bad old Shadowed himself isn't here to see the carnage. Long live Horizon!... Or something like that.
 
Dark Horizon... Well, you already know. The Dark Hunter's weaponry is sometimes hand-made from the remains of other weapons (or other Hunters). Lesser known, Dark Horizon intends to set up the rule of the Dark Hunters once again. Only absolute villains get in here, folks, and don't expect to defect to another group and live.

 

-----

 

[Name it and claim it]

 

Ugh... Just read below, I'm getting sick of these intros.

 

That's right, get a few players together and you can make your own organization! It has to be more than 2 characters heading it, though. You can join any group you want, but I'm not handing out these things like popcorn. It's gotta be well assembled and be interesting enough. All custom factions will be given a base on an unsettled planet and enough resources and vehicles to start off.

Out-Of-Reach Tech: More weapons for you to use may be available in the future, but hyperspace, tracking beacons, and other high-power devices can only be used by the faction leaders and higher ups. Don't put these into your ship without permission. You may end up receiving these later though, for completing missions and/or tackling/driving off bigger threats.

Combat: you'll be fighting in two massive spacecraft, both heavily armed and guarded to prevent any attack from harming it. Please treat them like actual beings in combat.

Planets: Ah, here's the fun part! now and again i'll introduce missions for the factions to find and control unknown planets, and whatever Rahi or materials that are there is yours for the taking. Capture planets to establish bases. And do expect on-planet gunfights. Each Faction main ship has several massive dropships, which take your ships to destinations for you via hyperspace. Saves a lot of time.

 

-----

Weapons:

Pending. Generally you'll get a laser rifle or pistols, but works on a charging clip/round, so you can't send an endless stream of laser fire into a base until it explodes.

Basic weapons types include:

Pistol: the small energy pistol uses 6 shots at a time, but has to cool down its charging clip or you can replace it with an already cool one. Get hit by one of these shots, and it's liable to do minor damage to your armour. You can carry as many as you want, just make sure to add in the attachments for them. Each pistol comes with 3 clips, but not if you carry more than 2.

Energy rifle: These fire one shot at a time, although you only get a max of 6 shots. Expect high-power damage, but not to the level of limb-shredding or skull-cracking. Sorry, you can only have one of these.

 

Buzzsaw Kanoka: A Kanoka launcher that launches powerless, sharp-edged Kanoka. Get hit by one of these and at the least it'll shred your armour, at the worst tear your stomach out. Only one of these too, although you can carry four Kanoka.

Crossbow: Invented by the Empire Hand, this steel crossbow is engineered to fire thin, metal arrows at high speeds, and these do the damage you'd expect them to. Treat them like normal arrows. Also, expect to see better crossbows in the future, possibly with superheated arrows or exploding ones.

Ballistic Knife: Dead Conquest made a knife handle that shoots the blade out. Silent and deadly at close range, although you can only carry 3 blades unless you retrieve the one you use. You can only have one of these, although with its speed and deadliness, I think you'll only need one.

 

Nyhrah Ghost Blaster: You heard me. Dark Horizon's Ghost Blaster doesn't work like the original, as when one of these hits it releases an EMP in a small radius that does electric damage to anyone inside it. Only Matoran will get knocked out, though. Ghost Blaster ammo is so big it needs a permanent recharging clip, but you can pump the gun to cool it faster. And a Ghost Blaster's ammo is affected by gravity, so you'll have to plan your shot. You can only carry one of these, sorry.

-----

Armour:

Now, the armour you wear gives you protection against the high-tech weapons of the future, and lets you treat you character normally like any other RPG. But, keep it in good condition, as you may encounter dangerous threats along the way that could defeat you much easier if you didn't have it. Every time you visit your HQ, your armour will be automatically repaired. However, you won't have your armour on in your HQ, as this helps even out such common brawls and fistfights that will occur. Your armour will also repair automatically if you are in your custom HQ, like a planet base or smaller main ship. But not any planet base you walk up to. Only  a planet base that have been set out by your faction leader as your home base will work. Your helmet will contain contact devices that will fail if you get hit by a Ghost Blaster. It will also let you breathe in space, in case you are called to investigate a planet with toxic or zero atmosphere.

 

Can't:

          Go into hyperspace. I don't want you zipping around the universe like nyan cat and blasting everything in sight, before darting away again. Otherwise Mr. Crunchy will get you.
          Disobey any BZP rules. That just goes without saying.
          Completely change your vehicle. I will have customizations available, but you're not gonna turn your spacecraft into a death star.
          OP-ifying your character. You aren't an unstoppable engine of destruction, and that's final.

Ships:

Each ship is the same, except for color and add-ons. The weaponry is also different on each model, although there are weapons that work on all times. They get treated just like people in combat (minus movement), so be cautious on how many dogfights you go into in a row, or you could explode. (or crash-land if you're close enough to a planet) You can also make a vehicle of any type, if it fits in one of the qualifications. After it's made, however, you can't customize it in such a radical way.

 

Ship Weapons:

Laser rifles and laser pistols are the only regular weapons you can attach on, and are fueled by the ship's energy core, meaning very little charging. You can add as many as 6 laser pistols to a Starfighter, 10 to a Letterwing, 12 to a Dropship, and 4 to a Pellet.

 

Starfighter

 

No, you can't have an astromech droid. This is the standard fighter vehicle, fitted with two laser rifles near the front. These are also easily repaired, and are good for over-planet scouting. You can make any kind of a Starfighter you want, as long as it fits as a Starfighter.

 

Letterwing

 

A heavier, larger vehicle, the Letterwing can house up to four main laser rifles. The Letterwing also has multiple seat options, and can be outfitted to fit a maximum of three people. All Letterwings have two or more wings. You can make any type of Letterwing, as long as it remains a Letterwing.

 

Dropship

 

Painfully slow, yet can fit up to eight laser rifles, the Dropship is an ideal way to transport troopers to the battlefield. It can hold twenty people on the inside and requires two pilots. Dropships are noisy, so don't expect to sneak in on any fights. Dropships are only Mildly differentiating.

 

Pellet

 

Pellets are the smallest ships possible, and are only about the size of a small car. Most of the vehicle is cockpit, and it can house two laser rifles, although accessories are limited. Pellets are mildly customizable, because they are so small, and because of the \/ \/ \/

 

Pellet Machines

 

Pellet machines are obtainable through main factions or the Junk Dealer. Basically, they are massive tanks about five bio tall, with a hole in the center to house a Pellet. They are way too heavy and cumbersome to be used or moved by a Pellet in space, but do massive damage on the ground. Although they can only hold two laser rifles at a time, they can be outfitted with two of the larger weapons.

 

-----

 

Junk Dealer

 

Seems like Watto in ways, although much friendlier and not at all ugly. Still a skinflint.

 

Ah, the Junk Dealer. The small planet of Mollog is the home world of several small, mysterious creatures that assist their leader to buy in collected junk (most of which is actually worth quite a bit) and resell it. Their leader is only known as the Junk Dealer. You can get an item out of him based on his mood, and how much the item(s) you give him are worth in his eyes. Any vehicle or gun from him will require lots of work, but will function like any other ship or weapon, and can be customized just the same. There's no currency, but you can find some interesting items on some planets.

 

-----

 

Mr. Crunchy

 

Uh-oh, you're in trouble this time. Bye!

 

Mr. Crunchy is a mindless, monstrous, rock mass that loves nothing more than eating your ship. It's hard to drive away, and very dangerous. It tracks down lone ships that are not near their fleet, and gains mass from random chunks of rock and vehicles, using the weapon's charging clips to become bigger. Best advice: run.

 

Leveling up:

 

Well, here's a fancy trick. Do good enough and you'll get an advancement. Also, see your faction leader after a level up to get a bonus to your ship. I'll get to this in more detail later.


Well, whaddya think? it needs lots of work, but I got some stuff updated. Also, if anyone can help with the sci-fi devices and weaponry, that would be most helpful.

Edited by Ghidora131
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Dark Horizon

 

Too bad old Shadowed himself isn't here to see the carnage. Long live Horizon!... Or something like that.

 

Dark Horizon... Well, you already know. The Dark Hunter's weaponry is sometimes hand-made from the remains of other weapons (or other Hunters). Lesser known, Dark Horizon intends to set up the bloodthirsty rule of the Dark Hunters once again. Only absolute villains get in here, folks, and don't expect to defect to another group and live.

 

I don't recall the original Dark Hunters being "absolute villains", in any way, nor were the "bloodthirsty". And apart from the island where they made their HQ, they didn't really "rule" anything either.

 

They were just a bunch of mercenaries and bounty hunters, killing and stealing for profit and survival. A lot of the members were outcasts and misfits, and the DH were the only ones who were willing to take them in.

 

Seems odd to me that you'd have a group that's supposedly devoted to reviving the Dark Hunters, then make them nothing at all like the original group. Honestly, this Dark Horizon sounds like the kind of group the original Dark Hunters would've been opposed to. 

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Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Coming 2024 

Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review

BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash

BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base

Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar

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I find it just a little bit depressing that none of the factions seem to be actually good. Even if you don't want to have any virtuous groups prestablished, can we start our own, legitimately benevolent factions capable of standing up to these established tyrants? Because I can't say I'd be too thrilled about being stuck, little more than a mook, in one of these three equally unsavory factions forever.

  • Upvote 3

00_gaeas_reaper.jpgjrfightmeditatesmaller.gif00_shadowboxer.jpg

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I find it just a little bit depressing that none of the factions seem to be actually good. Even if you don't want to have any virtuous groups prestablished, can we start our own, legitimately benevolent factions capable of standing up to these established tyrants? Because I can't say I'd be too thrilled about being stuck, little more than a mook, in one of these three equally unsavory factions forever.

 

Yes, and I did mean to edit that in, but I was outta time and had to leave in a rush.

 

I don't recall the original Dark Hunters being "absolute villains", in any way, nor were the "bloodthirsty". And apart from the island where they made their HQ, they didn't really "rule" anything either.

 

They were just a bunch of mercenaries and bounty hunters, killing and stealing for profit and survival. A lot of the members were outcasts and misfits, and the DH were the only ones who were willing to take them in.

 

Seems odd to me that you'd have a group that's supposedly devoted to reviving the Dark Hunters, then make them nothing at all like the original group. Honestly, this Dark Horizon sounds like the kind of group the original Dark Hunters would've been opposed to.

 

This group isn't led by The Shadowed One. Therefore, I've let someone more vicious take command. Who, I haven't picked yet, but nobody nice.

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Dark Horizon

 

Too bad old Shadowed himself isn't here to see the carnage. Long live Horizon!... Or something like that.

 

Dark Horizon... Well, you already know. The Dark Hunter's weaponry is sometimes hand-made from the remains of other weapons (or other Hunters). Lesser known, Dark Horizon intends to set up the bloodthirsty rule of the Dark Hunters once again. Only absolute villains get in here, folks, and don't expect to defect to another group and live.

 

I don't recall the original Dark Hunters being "absolute villains", in any way, nor were the "bloodthirsty". And apart from the island where they made their HQ, they didn't really "rule" anything either.

 

They were just a bunch of mercenaries and bounty hunters, killing and stealing for profit and survival. A lot of the members were outcasts and misfits, and the DH were the only ones who were willing to take them in.

 

Seems odd to me that you'd have a group that's supposedly devoted to reviving the Dark Hunters, then make them nothing at all like the original group. Honestly, this Dark Horizon sounds like the kind of group the original Dark Hunters would've been opposed to. 

 

 

I have to disagree, there. Some of the Dark Hunters might have been morally gray, a few might even have been a lighter shade of gray, but they were not good people. The only good thing you can say for them is "less villainous than the Brotherhood", and even that is pretty debatable. 

 

I'd point out that most of those sympathetic Hunters were being kept there by deception (Mimic), or were there because, like you said, they had no other choice. That doesn't really indicate brotherhood and acceptance so much as the fact that the Hunters didn't care who you were as long as you were useful. This is the organization that had no problem with killing anyone they were hired to go after, and were perfectly willing to wage war on an entire city. And, in fact, worked for the Brotherhood willingly.

 

A business relationship that didn't end because the DH disapproved of what the Brotherhood was doing, it ended because Teridax broke one of the only rules about hiring the Hunters and brought about a war of revenge. The Hunters may have been a slightly lighter shade of gray, but they were vicious, and many of them were bloodthirsty. They were just smart about it.

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On this eve, the thirtieth anniversary of that first colony, many are left to wonder; is the world fast approaching a breaking point?

 

 

  Breaking Point: An OTC Mecha RPG

 

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I'll just do the parts that are new or were changed this time. Or any bits that I may have forgotten to take care of last time.

 

 

You are part of an army being organized and trained, how you arrived there is your own story. Similar to Corpus Rahkshi in ways, although here, good luck killing anyone in broad daylight on your own faction. 3 or 4 different species to play as (Matoran is a definite yes, Vortixx maybe) and this time you'll actually be sent out against the enemy factions in brutal combat.

 

I do hope that this is just a planning topic thing. Refrencing another RPG in your intro post is never a good idea. And I would suggest changing the bolded part to something like, "Good luck if you ever get caught killing another member of your faction." It reads kind of klunky as is.

 

 

 
Empire Hand
 
I used to know of this lot quite well, but they own the civilized universe and are looked upon as the good guys. Not so sure on that, though, but it keeps them busy.
 
Empire Hand was formed from the Order of Mata Nui after many of its original members were killed. Since then, they have let in anyone deemed good enough to fight, as they try to take over the rest of the universe. Heartily stating they intend only good, yet do otherwise, it seems nobody can be trusted anymore. Members of Empire Hand are heavily trained and disobedience is met with strict punishment. Good fighting and strict loyalty is the only way to move up in this type of sect.

 

Workable but basic. It needs more details, where is their main base of operations? Who leads them? What ranks are there for people to move up? Stuff like that.

 

 

Dead Conquest
 
Nyahaha, they said. We are going to kill you, they said. Meh. Stereotypical bad guys, that's for sure. Or are they?
 
Dead Conquest is made of rebels of Empire Hand, always ready to tear people in two to bring liberation to all. Their brutal actions and rough training hide friendly leaders and a will to free the universe from Empire Hand's steel grip. Never be too trusting, though: they are painted as villains across the ears of the people.

 

This has the same problems as Empire Hand does so I'll move on to another detail that's bugging me. The bolded part, who are we not supposed to be trusting? The people in Dead Conquest or the guys on the uninhabited planets that we are exploring?

 

 

Dark Horizon
 
Too bad old Shadowed himself isn't here to see the carnage. Long live Horizon!... Or something like that.
 
Dark Horizon... Well, you already know. The Dark Hunter's weaponry is sometimes hand-made from the remains of other weapons (or other Hunters). Lesser known, Dark Horizon intends to set up the rule of the Dark Hunters once again. Only absolute villains get in here, folks, and don't expect to defect to another group and live.

 

Once again pretty lacking in details, we get a very brief overview telling us about the faction but not much else.

 

 

 

[Name it and claim it]

 

Ugh... Just read below, I'm getting sick of these intros.

 

That's right, get a few players together and you can make your own organization! It has to be more than 2 characters heading it, though. You can join any group you want, but I'm not handing out these things like popcorn. It's gotta be well assembled and be interesting enough. All custom factions will be given a base on an unsettled planet and enough resources and vehicles to start off.

 

Right, well. The part about being sick of the intros is not a good sign. We don't even know who is saying these things. In any case this is probably the faction area I have the most to say about.

 

When you say that any new faction needs more than two characters heading it do you mean that it needs to have more than two leaders or that it needs at least three characters to start up? The second really makes a lot more sense, having three leaders for a small faction leads to a very topheavy group.

 

Second thing is about the resources that we keep hearing about. Are they going to remain etherial "resources" or are we going to get names and maaaaybe numbers? I mean, I know that number systems have not had the best track record in this sub-forum, but half of this game sounds like it's going to be about finding these resources for our faction, it would be nice to know how much we will need for that next cool upgrade. It would help if everybody else here gives their thoughts on the matter as well.

 

Third, do these new factions also get one of the larger motherships or is that something that needs to be bought with "resources."

 

 

Combat: you'll be fighting in two massive spacecraft, both heavily armed and guarded to prevent any attack from harming it. Please treat them like actual beings in combat.

 

This should be changed. From the sound of it the vast majority of combat is going to be on the ground or in smaller shuttles and fighters rather than large capital ships.

 

 

Weapons

 

I see that you tried changing over to a recharge system. The only problem is that you only did it halfway, leaving it all a bit of a mess. My suggestion would be to just cut out the heating sstuff and make it all a power issue. Or you could also just go on a more limited but familier system and say that the weapons use power cells that only have a certain number of shots and can't be recharged in the field.

 

 

Energy rifle: These fire one shot at a time, although you only get a max of 6 shots. Expect high-power damage, but not to the level of limb-shredding or skull-cracking. Sorry, you can only have one of these.

 

This is pretty much an underpowered sniper rifle. Nobody is going to use it. The average rifle holds anywhere between fifteen to thirty rounds, the only ones that go lower tend to make up for it with accuracy and firepower.

 

It's hard enough to hit people in a firefight. Such a low ammo count combined with everyone's armor is going to make killing somebody with that gun almost immpossible.

 

 

Buzzsaw Kanoka: A Kanoka launcher that launches powerless, sharp-edged Kanoka. Get hit by one of these and at the least it'll shred your armour, at the worst tear your stomach out. Only one of these too, although you can carry four Kanoka.

 

It works I guess. Surprisingly deadly compared to the more conventional weapons.

 

 

Crossbow: Invented by the Empire Hand, this steel crossbow is engineered to fire thin, metal arrows at high speeds, and these do the damage you'd expect them to. Treat them like normal arrows. Also, expect to see better crossbows in the future, possibly with superheated arrows or exploding ones.

 

Yeeaah, when you say to treat them like normal arrows I still think "Glance off my armor to go impale some poor tree." A simple layer of graphine will take care of any thing like this unless it has some seriously advanced engineering behind it.

 

 

Ballistic Knife: Dead Conquest made a knife handle that shoots the blade out. Silent and deadly at close range, although you can only carry 3 blades unless you retrieve the one you use. You can only have one of these, although with its speed and deadliness, I think you'll only need one.

 

Looks like you removed most of the details about how it works. I would suggest using a gravity launcher.

 

 

Nyhrah Ghost Blaster: You heard me. Dark Horizon's Ghost Blaster doesn't work like the original, as when one of these hits it releases an EMP in a small radius that does electric damage to anyone inside it. Only Matoran will get knocked out, though. Ghost Blaster ammo is so big it needs a permanent recharging clip, but you can pump the gun to cool it faster. And a Ghost Blaster's ammo is affected by gravity, so you'll have to plan your shot. You can only carry one of these, sorry.

 

An EMP is not quite the same thing as a blast of electricity. It damages electronics, it does not damage using electricity. So any non-EMP hardened electronics in the blast radius would be fried but the person wearing them is probably going to be fine.

 

This also has the thing about cooling off. Trying to incorporate stuff from the set is a nice idea but it's more important that you don't try to shove two weapon limitation systems in at the same time.

 

 

Armour:

Now, the armour you wear gives you protection against the high-tech weapons of the future, and lets you treat you character normally like any other RPG. But, keep it in good condition, as you may encounter dangerous threats along the way that could defeat you much easier if you didn't have it. Every time you visit your HQ, your armour will be automatically repaired. However, you won't have your armour on in your HQ, as this helps even out such common brawls and fistfights that will occur. Your armour will also repair automatically if you are in your custom HQ, like a planet base or smaller main ship. But not any planet base you walk up to. Only  a planet base that have been set out by your faction leader as your home base will work. Your helmet will contain contact devices that will fail if you get hit by a Ghost Blaster. It will also let you breathe in space, in case you are called to investigate a planet with toxic or zero atmosphere.

 

Most other RPGs just assume you don't have any armor and that getting it by a weapon will kill or take a character out of the fight. I do like the fact that you are making a point out of how the armor here actually protects though.

 

I assume that these suits will have the normal stuff you expect to see in a set of sci-fi armor? HUD, sensors, optional upgrades?

 

Aslo, can we perform field repairs, like wielding on armor patches?

 

 

Ships:

Each ship is the same, except for color and add-ons. The weaponry is also different on each model, although there are weapons that work on all times. They get treated just like people in combat (minus movement), so be cautious on how many dogfights you go into in a row, or you could explode. (or crash-land if you're close enough to a planet) You can also make a vehicle of any type, if it fits in one of the qualifications. After it's made, however, you can't customize it in such a radical way.

 

Not sure what you mean in the bolded section. Also, you say that every ship is more or less the same, but then you go on to say that several of the ship types can be almost anything we want.

 

 

hip Weapons:

Laser rifles and laser pistols are the only regular weapons you can attach on, and are fueled by the ship's energy core, meaning very little charging. You can add as many as 6 laser pistols to a Starfighter, 10 to a Letterwing, 12 to a Dropship, and 4 to a Pellet.

 

Ships almost never use the same weapons that a person on the ground does. These would just plink off of everyone's armor or shields.

 

 

Pellet

 

Pellets are the smallest ships possible, and are only about the size of a small car. Most of the vehicle is cockpit, and it can house two laser rifles, although accessories are limited. Pellets are mildly customizable, because they are so small, and because of the \/ \/ \/

 

This is the only ship I have questions about ant that's only because it feels like you forgot to write something at the end there.

 

 

Pellet Machines

 

Pellet machines are obtainable through main factions or the Junk Dealer. Basically, they are massive tanks about five bio tall, with a hole in the center to house a Pellet. They are way too heavy and cumbersome to be used or moved by a Pellet in space, but do massive damage on the ground. Although they can only hold two laser rifles at a time, they can be outfitted with two of the larger weapons.

 

I have the most problems with this vehicle. As cool as being able to take a vehicle down from space to fight on land is, everything here could be done with a basic tank with little to no added cost. The description also mentions there being larger weapons but they are mentioned nowhere else in the post.

 

 

Junk Dealer

 

Pretty basic, but nothing really wrong here.

 

 

Mr. Crunchy

 

Uh-oh, you're in trouble this time. Bye!

 

Mr. Crunchy is a mindless, monstrous, rock mass that loves nothing more than eating your ship. It's hard to drive away, and very dangerous. It tracks down lone ships that are not near their fleet, and gains mass from random chunks of rock and vehicles, using the weapon's charging clips to become bigger. Best advice: run.

 

I guess this is the designated staff smite monster. I'm iffy about there being one in the RPG but there is nothing all that wrong with it as a random monster either.

 

 

Leveling up:

 

Well, here's a fancy trick. Do good enough and you'll get an advancement. Also, see your faction leader after a level up to get a bonus to your ship. I'll get to this in more detail later.

 

Should probably change this to "Advancing in Rank" or something. I'm getting Star Trek Online vibes here.

 

 

All in all while I may sound harsh I do think that you are moving in the right direction. If you want I can write up some weapons and a system to go with them for you.

 

Also my appologies if there are any typos in here. I'm borrowing a computer with no spellcheck and I'm not used to the keyboard.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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I do hope that this is just a planning topic thing. Refrencing another RPG in your intro post is never a good idea. And I would suggest changing the bolded part to something like, "Good luck if you ever get caught killing another member of your faction." It reads kind of klunky as is.

 

Of course. I'm just getting the general idea down until I have rooted the rest of the solid factors. Then i'll scrap that whole intro for something better.

 

Workable but basic. It needs more details, where is their main base of operations? Who leads them? What ranks are there for people to move up? Stuff like that.

 

Sure, i'll get to that shortly.

 

The bolded part, who are we not supposed to be trusting?

 

Dead Conquest. In fact, you really can't trust anybody unless you join a player-controlled faction.

 

Right, well. The part about being sick of the intros is not a good sign. We don't even know who is saying these things. In any case this is probably the faction area I have the most to say about.

 

When you say that any new faction needs more than two characters heading it do you mean that it needs to have more than two leaders or that it needs at least three characters to start up? The second really makes a lot more sense, having three leaders for a small faction leads to a very topheavy group.

 

Second thing is about the resources that we keep hearing about. Are they going to remain etherial "resources" or are we going to get names and maaaaybe numbers? I mean, I know that number systems have not had the best track record in this sub-forum, but half of this game sounds like it's going to be about finding these resources for our faction, it would be nice to know how much we will need for that next cool upgrade. It would help if everybody else here gives their thoughts on the matter as well.

 

Third, do these new factions also get one of the larger motherships or is that something that needs to be bought with "resources."

 

1. That is known as "Bad humor" and won't stay there.

 

2. The latter.

 

3. It would be a big help if someone could come up with a way to plan this out, but I really don't understand the question.

 

4. Yes, although not as very large and grandeur as the main faction ships. This is why I'm going to be very picky on this; I don't want everyone running around with a faction in their hands that no-one will join.

 

This should be changed. From the sound of it the vast majority of combat is going to be on the ground or in smaller shuttles and fighters rather than large capital ships.

 

I probably should have said "from" and specified more.

 

I see that you tried changing over to a recharge system. The only problem is that you only did it halfway, leaving it all a bit of a mess. My suggestion would be to just cut out the heating sstuff and make it all a power issue. Or you could also just go on a more limited but familier system and say that the weapons use power cells that only have a certain number of shots and can't be recharged in the field.

 

I've got a very poor knowledge of technology. It's incredible I made it this far.

 

This is pretty much an underpowered sniper rifle. Nobody is going to use it. The average rifle holds anywhere between fifteen to thirty rounds, the only ones that go lower tend to make up for it with accuracy and firepower.

 

It's hard enough to hit people in a firefight. Such a low ammo count combined with everyone's armor is going to make killing somebody with that gun almost immpossible.

 

See above. I'm still working on it.

 

It works I guess. Surprisingly deadly compared to the more conventional weapons.

 

I actually got the idea for this from a real-life buzzsaw injury. Not a very good inspiration source, either.

 

Yeeaah, when you say to treat them like normal arrows I still think "Glance off my armor to go impale some poor tree." A simple layer of graphine will take care of any thing like this unless it has some seriously advanced engineering behind it.

 

*reads bunch of science-y stuff*

 

*doesn't understand a single bit of it*

 

I'll take your word for it. Will place that in in next edit.

 

Looks like you removed most of the details about how it works. I would suggest using a gravity launcher.

Not sure what that is...

 

An EMP is not quite the same thing as a blast of electricity. It damages electronics, it does not damage using electricity. So any non-EMP hardened electronics in the blast radius would be fried but the person wearing them is probably going to be fine.

 

This also has the thing about cooling off. Trying to incorporate stuff from the set is a nice idea but it's more important that you don't try to shove two weapon limitation systems in at the same time.

 

Good first point. Also, forgot not to include that cooling mechanism.

 

Most other RPGs just assume you don't have any armor and that getting it by a weapon will kill or take a character out of the fight. I do like the fact that you are making a point out of how the armor here actually protects though.

 

I assume that these suits will have the normal stuff you expect to see in a set of sci-fi armor? HUD, sensors, optional upgrades?

 

Also, can we perform field repairs, like wielding on armor patches?

 

Thank you. I made that point to show people if they head into battle without their armour, nearly every weapon is going to be extremely powerful against them. Even the pistols.

 

Yes, although I haven't figured out yet what upgrades.

 

Of course, if you can find the time to do so.

 

Not sure what you mean in the bolded section. Also, you say that every ship is more or less the same, but then you go on to say that several of the ship types can be almost anything we want.

 

Bad grammar. I meant to say certain weapons are tied to certain vehicles, but there are some that are universal.

 

And if you keep it in the ship category. Look up Starfighter; I'm sure you'll get hundreds of versions but they are all Starfighters.

 

Ships almost never use the same weapons that a person on the ground does. These would just plink off of everyone's armor or shields.

 

See "I know little to nothing about tech".

 

This is the only ship I have questions about ant that's only because it feels like you forgot to write something at the end there.

 

See below it.

 

I have the most problems with this vehicle. As cool as being able to take a vehicle down from space to fight on land is, everything here could be done with a basic tank with little to no added cost. The description also mentions there being larger weapons but they are mentioned nowhere else in the post.

 

The reason I have confined the tank shell to the Pellet is so that you can't own one without owning a Pellet. Weapons pending.

 

Pretty basic, but nothing really wrong here.

 

Expect that species to be jawa-like and scurrying back & forth. I'll get some at out soon of what I picture them & their leader as.

 

I guess this is the designated staff smite monster. I'm iffy about there being one in the RPG but there is nothing all that wrong with it as a random monster either.

 

If it gets to be too much of a problem in the RPG i'll have a "seek and destroy" mission.

 

Should probably change this to "Advancing in Rank" or something. I'm getting Star Trek Online vibes here.

 

Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I will re-word that.

 

All in all while I may sound harsh I do think that you are moving in the right direction. If you want I can write up some weapons and a system to go with them for you.

 

Believe me, this is quite polite compared to the feedback I get on most projects. And that would be extremely appreciated, thank you.

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Right, well. The part about being sick of the intros is not a good sign. We don't even know who is saying these things. In any case this is probably the faction area I have the most to say about.

 

When you say that any new faction needs more than two characters heading it do you mean that it needs to have more than two leaders or that it needs at least three characters to start up? The second really makes a lot more sense, having three leaders for a small faction leads to a very topheavy group.

 

Second thing is about the resources that we keep hearing about. Are they going to remain etherial "resources" or are we going to get names and maaaaybe numbers? I mean, I know that number systems have not had the best track record in this sub-forum, but half of this game sounds like it's going to be about finding these resources for our faction, it would be nice to know how much we will need for that next cool upgrade. It would help if everybody else here gives their thoughts on the matter as well.

 

Third, do these new factions also get one of the larger motherships or is that something that needs to be bought with "resources."

3. It would be a big help if someone could come up with a way to plan this out, but I really don't understand the question.

 

 

Basically I was asking if we would get say, ten units of space metal after a succesful mission and in order to upgrade our ship with that fancy new shield we needed thirty. Or would it just stay as "Congrats, you now have this planet. While you were able to recover some useful stuff from it it is not enough to upgrade your ship like you wanted."

 

 

Like I said before, this seems like something that requires some input from the group. I'm seeing a distinct case of resource managment here.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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Basically I was asking if we would get say, ten units of space metal after a succesful mission and in order to upgrade our ship with that fancy new shield we needed thirty. Or would it just stay as "Congrats, you now have this planet. While you were able to recover some useful stuff from it it is not enough to upgrade your ship like you wanted."

 

Okay, yeah that makes sense.

 

Not going to make any immediate decisions on that until I hear some more

input from the group.

 

I'm gonna go have breakfast. ;)

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