The Official RPG Planning Topic

The UltimoScorp · April 26, 2015

Ah. Well, it was a thought anyway.

Timageness · April 26, 2015

http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/126-the-official-rpg-planning-topic/page-50?do=findComment&comment=920318

Link provided in order to show that that particular idea still could be theoretically possible, unless otherwise stated by Miras, of course.

Daniel the Finlander · April 27, 2015

Army and battle system for Knightfall

Rough draft

Introduction

This is an army and battle system planned for Knightfall, my WIP RPG. With this, the players may command armies into battle against other armies. This might or might not be included, but I wanted to attempt creating a functional and fun system. The challenge with this system was to avoid relying on stats too much, because stats are for video games. The army is supposed to be an extension of the player's character, in a way. The chain of command is based on the feudalism system already present in Knightfall. GM involvment was necessary, but I've tried to keep that at minimum. This is the early version, so I need feedback. I recommend reading the rules section of the Knightfall draft on page 50 in order to understand how the game currently is planned to work, although if I want to implement this system there'll need to be quite radical changes made to both lore and rules.

Army size

Every King can have 3 Duke vassals, while every Duke can have 3 Count vassals. Every Count can have 3 units of NPC Knights as vassals. The exact amount of soldiers in a unit doesn't matter. So, a Duke with 3 Count vassals has 9 Knight units under their command, while a King may have 27 units of Knights under their command. Numbers may change, but you get the idea. Of course, having a Kingdom with the maximum amount of vassals will be rare, so every Duke and King will also have personal troops, their amount determined by the tier of their castle. For example, a Duke may have 6 units of personal soldiers while a King may have 12. So with 3 vassals a Duke may in this case have 15 units while a King may have 39. A King also may have additional PC bodyguards, who can follow them into battle.

Troop types:

There will be the following types (names aren't final and are a bit poor) each with their own role on the battlefield: Offensive elementals/skirmishers, close combatants/infantry and support/pursuers. Offensive elementals/skirmishers are Knights with, well, offensive elemental powers that are effective from a distance, which includes most powers and several masks. Knights with ranged weapons are included. Infantry consists of people with close combat weapons and masks/powers that are useful in close combat. Support are Knights who are capable of rapid movement and powers that can be used to hamper the enemies' morale.

Battle

Battles occur when two armies meet to fight each other. The players plan what each troop type will do in each combat phase (where they'll position themselves and what units they'll attack). Every battle should have three of these phases: skirmish, melee and pursue, although it might vary depending on the situation. Skirmish phase is where offensive elementals fight: they attack the enemy from a distance, and continue doing so until they run out of elemental energy. Melee phase is when infantry engage each other in combat. This is usually the decisive phase, but the result can be greatly modified by the skirmish phase if close combatants are targeted. Pursue is when one side breaks and routs, and is chased by the other army. Support is most effective here, although they should be used in other phases as well. Players can't give orders to routing units, and during pursue phase can only decide about thier own actions if they are on the losing side. After both players have told their plans, the GM will tell the results, although I might prefer a system where the players decide what happens. The unit system might be too similar to the much-hated hitpoint system, so I'm not sure about that either. Random events may happen during the battle.

Terrain

Before a battle begins, the GM will tell about the battlefield, weather and its terrain features. Because terrain can vary greatly, he'll tell the effects of different terrain types. Generally, large open fields do nothing, hills provide cover and helps the defender while forests and ruins hide units.

Duels

Sometimes, Knight characters may engage in combat with each other on the battlefield. This happens when both characters want to engage each other or when GM says so, in which case it's a random event. These players then fight like they would in a duel. Other Knight characters may choose to interfere, but NPCs can't be used. Players must be fair and follow the rules number three, four and five.

Troop replenishment

All Knights that perish or are wounded in the Undying Lands will be healed or resurrected by the gods after they're brought to the House of Gods in Magna (which happens automagically after a while, so player characters don't need to worry about that). Same with all units that are brought back from the Dying Worlds. Any units left behind will be lost forever. They may be replaced over time, if the gods are willing to create entirely new Knights. In order to gain additional troops, characters must upgrade their castles or gain new vassals.

Example battle

Player 1:

King Tahu's host had left the camp at dawn. The summer on this Dying World was nearing its end, and the temperature was dropping. Shadows would begin to appear when the ground would be covered by orange leaves, but now the ground was covered by gentle mist, and the air was still. The army marched towards the mine that had been discovered by scouts one week before, but soon these scouts brought worrisome news: an army had been headed towards the mine as well, and they had carried the banners of Artakha.

Tahu's brow furrowed when he planned his next action: would he attack now or later? If he'd give them too much time, they'd fortify their position near the mine, but if he'd attack too soon, his army would be exhausted from the rapid marching. He decided to attack now, for he feared that an old enemy might be leading the army, whose name made his blood boil: Kopaka. He wanted to fight him as soon as possible, ignoring the exhaustion of his warriors.

OoC:

King Tahu attacking King Kopaka. Allies: Duchess Gali and Duke Onua. Tahu has 39 units under his command, with 13 close combatants, 10 support and 16 ranged.

Player 2:

Kpakas scouts told him that a enemy army was approaching. he prepared his army and charged yelling "attaack"

ooc:

king kopaka defending against tahu with duke lewa and duke pohatu. 39 units, 16 close combatants, 13 support and 10 ranged

GM:

King Tahu of Balance fighting King Kopaka of Light. The battle will take place on a grassy field, with hills to the north and a forest to the south and southwest. The hills are defensive while units in forests will remain hidden from the enemy until they attack the or an enemy unit enters the forest. The sky is clear above, and the morning mist has receded. Tahu will attack from the west while Kopaka will defend from the east. Plan your actions for the skirmish phase. Player 1, as the attacker, will post first.

Player 1:

Tahu ordered his ranged and supportive fighters to split up, with 8 ranged 3 support units moving to the hills while 8 ranged and 3 support units moved to the forest. Units in the hills targeted the enemy's ranged units while those hidden in the forest waited. He personally remained amongst his infantry, while Gali was ordered to lead the fighters in the forest and Onua to join those in the hills.

(Players of Onua and Gali may post here and do what they like. They may even disobey Tahu's orders)

Player 2:

all ranged units fired at the guys they saw on the hills (im not allowed to attack the enemy whos in the forest rigt)?

(Players of Lewa and Pohatu may do what they want at this point, because they were given no orders.)

GM:

Skirmish Phase

The storm of elemental powers destroyed the soil on both sides and caused casualties for both. Tahu's support units hampered the enemy's morale even further though, while the hills provided decent cover for them and the elevated positions were effective as well. After both sides had exhausted their elemental energies, the fields had turned into molten, frozen and ruined piles of mud. 5 units of Kopaka's ranged Knights lay slain or seriously wounded, while two units routed and left the battle, one of them chased down and captured by Tahu's support units. Tahu lost 4 units of ranged fighters and one unit of support. The other half of his skirmishing force remained in the forest, waiting for orders.

Remaining units:
Tahu: 13 close combatants, 12 ranged and 9 support
Kopaka: 16 close combatants, 3 ranged (in addition 1 routed and 1 captured), 13 support

Plan your actions for the melee phase now.

Player 1:

Tahu's skirmishers retreated from the hills, battered and grim-faced. There had been casualties, but they weren't too heavy. Scouts reported that at least half of the enemy ranged force had been defeated. Kopaka's formidable force of warriors remained intact, but not for long. He ordered a messenger to go to the forest and tell the fighters there to ambush the marching combatants from the side. His own Knights would engage in battle as soon as possible. A horn was blown, and Tahu marched together with his men and women into battle. His eyes scoured the enemy force, looking for Kopaka, whom he desired to kill personally.

Player 2:

Kopka yelled "chaarge" and led his men to glorous vicory

GM:

Melee Phase:

As Kopaka's warriors marched towards the enemy, eager to fight, they were bombarded by Tahu's skirmishers, which caused much terror and dismay amongst Kopaka's ranks. Two units of close combatant Knights and one unit of support perished, while additional two close combatants were routed by the support units, who used their powers to break the will of Kopaka's force. Tahu's warriors charged before the enemy had a chance to attack his fighters in the forest. The battle lasted for half an hour, but in the end Tahu's warriors emerged victorious. He had lost five units of close combatants (one additional unit had routed) and one unit of support, while the enemy had lost six close combatants and two units of support. Kopaka and Tahu didn't meet each other on the field, but slew several enemy Knights in combat. Kopaka followed his men and retreated.

Remaining units:
Tahu: 7 close combatants (1 routed), 12 ranged, 8 support
Kopaka: 7 close combatants (2 routed), 3 ranged (1 routed, 1 captured), 10 support

The pursue phase begins now. Plan your actions.

Player 1:

Tahu roared near the fresh corpse of an enemy Knight. This Skakdi had fought well, but not well enough. He was delighted to see the enemy force lose their will to fight and run away from battle. He barked orders to his men and women: all support units would focus evenly on close combatants and ranged, ignoring the routing support units. Without skirmishers and warriors Kopaka's force would be weak and unthreatening.

Player 2:

well wat can i do here
edit: gm told me that i can choose what to do with kopaka, cant control my own guys apparenly
kopaka ran away

GM:

Pursue Phase:

Majority of Tahu's force remained unmoving and took care of the wounded and the dead, while his support units chased after the enemy. An hour later four units of warriors and three units of skirmishers had been taken prisoner. Rest of Kopaka's forces would run and regroup in the base camp of the Light. Tahu may order some of his warriors to carry the dead and the wounded to the base camp of Balance.

Tahu is victorious! He may now decide the fate of eight captured units.

Tahu's remaining force: 8 close combatant units, 8 support and 12 units of skirmishers

Kopaka's remaining force: 5 close combatants (4 captured), 10 support, 1 ranged (4 captured)

Edited April 27, 2015 by Daniel the Finlander

Nato G · April 27, 2015

The whole idea of your RPG seems to largely revolve around a numbers game of who has the most NPCs to throw at the other guy. My scepticism could be completely misplaced here, but I'm not sure how well that system is going to work....

IcarusBen · April 27, 2015

Yeah, basing it off numbers really isn't too smart. Sure, you'll have more of a chance if you outnumber the enemy 20 to 1, but a certain 300 Spartans come to mind.

And no, not the ones written by Frank "###### Batman" Miller.

25K Now! · April 27, 2015

Yeah, basing it off numbers really isn't too smart. Sure, you'll have more of a chance if you outnumber the enemy 20 to 1, but a certain 300 Spartans come to mind.

And no, not the ones written by Frank "###### Batman" Miller.

Thermopylae was more 20,000 Greeks against 70,000 to 300,000 Persians.

It was also a decisive Persian victory. The Greeks did manage to hold out for a while, but that was because of the environment (aka one road for the Persian invasion force), and probably would've fallen sooner or later to the numbers. So your example doesn't really bear weight.

Agincourt, on the other hand ...

IcarusBen · April 27, 2015

Yes, but the Battle of Thermopylae is said to have been a Pyrrhic victory for the Persians, since soon afterward, the war ended in the Greek's favor.

25K Now! · April 27, 2015

That's not what Pyrrhic means.

Thermopylae was not the Battle of the Coral Sea that lead to Midway.

It was a patriotic last stand thing for the Greek city-states that delayed the Persian armies temporarily, but when they fell Xerxes was capable of sending his armies through instead of getting the fleet stuck at Artemisium. It didn't contribute much to the Greek victory.

The turning point was at Salamis.

Daniel the Finlander · April 27, 2015

The whole idea of your RPG seems to largely revolve around a numbers game of who has the most NPCs to throw at the other guy. My scepticism could be completely misplaced here, but I'm not sure how well that system is going to work....

Well, the whole number thing is kinda necessary, but I've tried my best to keep it at minimum. What would you suggest as a replacement? Can this kind of military system work in a text-based RPG without any numbers?

silo · April 27, 2015

*Reads up last few posts*

When did this become a history-off?

Silvan Haven · April 27, 2015

I admit that I have not really paid much attention to this RPG, but it sounds like you are mixing an RTS style RPG with the more traditional character driven one.

While I can't say if such a mixture will work I do know that the somewhat numbers based RTS style RPG can work. As long as the players themselves are willing to take care of the numbers.

IcarusBen · April 27, 2015

That's not what Pyrrhic means.

Thermopylae was not the Battle of the Coral Sea that lead to Midway.

It was a patriotic last stand thing for the Greek city-states that delayed the Persian armies temporarily, but when they fell Xerxes was capable of sending his armies through instead of getting the fleet stuck at Artemisium. It didn't contribute much to the Greek victory.

The turning point was at Salamis.

Sorry. Guess I more closely remember the one that had a crazy man write a comic book about it rather than one that sounds like lunch meat.

**Voltex** · April 29, 2015

Knightfall sounds interesting, but I'm really iffy on the stats. Is there a way they could be done away with and replaced with something else while keeping to the spirit of the RPG?

Daniel the Finlander · April 29, 2015

Yeah, I think I can get rid of most stats. Battle system might not be included in the game, because it's quite stat-reliant. There's a problem, however: What can I do about castle upgrades? How do players do it, if their personal wealth isn't tracked? Do I get rid of castle upgrades entirely, because they're quite pointless without resources and warehouses?

Prowl Nightwolf · April 29, 2015

Well resources can still be tracked and rewarded to an extent allowing for upgrades to one's castle. Similar to how The BZPRPG works with it's upgrades. Like the Toa stones and antidermis stuff.

Sergei Rahkmaninoff · April 29, 2015

Just require GM approval to upgrade a castle. The GM keeps an eye on everything, and when they feel someone has done enough, gathered enough resources or whatever to merit it, they let the player have the upgrade. Kind of like Corpus Rahkshi's level up system.

Silvan Haven · April 29, 2015

If you are having trouble with the numbers system I would suggest finding a way to cut down on it. One example having just generic "resources" rather than a bunch of different types that you need to track.

Those work just fine in video games where the computer keeps track of all that stuff, but in an RPG you want to keep it simple as possible. Over in OTC we used generic Industry Points.

Daniel the Finlander · April 30, 2015

Knightfall

Eternal Gods, Dying Worlds

Version 0.5

Inspired by (read: ideas shamelessly stolen from) Crowfall

Table of contents

I. Lore

1. Introduction

2. The Undying Lands

3. Magna, the Holy City of the Gods

4. The Knights

5. the Barbarians

6. The Gods

7. The Shadows

II. Rules and Gameplay

1. Character creation

2. Gameplay

3. General rules

LORE

Introduction

Legend tells that aeons ago we ruled the stars
We created godly things without any help from gods
We built towers that scraped the skies
We were all happy and free

but all was lost in a single day
and since that day
we have not recovered
and we never will

Our homeworld, called the Undying Lands, may be barren and lifeless, but at least it is safe from the ruinous Shadows. Three gods protect and take care of us mortals, but are unable to feed us. Occasionally a world appears in the Void, where we may travel through ancient portals. These Dying Worlds are bountiful and beautiful but oh so fragile, for the gods are unable to save them from the hungry Shadows. Why don't the gods move and create a new home for us all on one of these worlds? It is not known, like so many other things about the universe.

These worlds are far from safe, so our workers are protected by the champions of the gods, who are called Knights. However, the truth is that they care little about our safety, and are instead much more interested about fighting 'infidels' (i.e. each other) and finding relics and treasures inside abandoned ruins. They do this because they want to receive a blessing from their god and rewards from the clergy. After the campaign is over and the world is left for the Shadows to consume, the Knights return to their castles to heal their wounds and estimate the value of their loot while we commoners pray to gods that we have enough food to keep us alive until a new world appears in the Void. Such is life on our world.

The Undying Lands

The Undying Lands is the name given to an arid world inhabited by thousands of Matoran and many Knights. The world's landscape consists of massive plateaus of beige rock, large mountains and poisonous seas. There are no animals or plants anywhere, except possibly in the depths of the oceans, if anything can even survive in them, and the surface is impossible to dig through. Yet many live here, because this world is the only one protected from the Shadows, who consume all worlds they find in the Void. The protection comes from three gods: Artakha, Karzahni and Tren Krom. Together (although Karzahni has contributed less and less in recent times) they combine their telepathic powers to form a massive, invisible bubble around the world, unbreachable to the Shadows. There is a cycle of day and night, for a glowing orb of pure white light spins around the world.

Magna, the Holy City of the Gods

The only city in the world is Magna, for almost all Matoran live in small villages near castles. The city, ruled by the gods themselves, is located on a seaside cliff and has massive walls built out of various rocks brought from the Dying Worlds. The city itself is filled with hundreds of huts built from wood and stone. The feuds between the servants of different gods do not matter here, and wielding weapons is forbidden for citizens and visitors. The Goldenguard, whose members are the only ones allowed to carry weapons, maintains order in the streets.

-Locations in Magna-

The House of Gods

A gigantic temple with a golden roof, located on the edge of a cliff and is divided into four sections. Those who aren't High Priests are only allowed to enter the middle one, for the gods themselves dwell in the other sections. This neutral ground is a gorgeous church decorated with gold. In the main hall, countless statues, paintings and shrines can be found, with numerous scented candles burning all the time. Often many Matoran are here praying, reading holy texts, listening to preachers or talking with the priests. A large room is located behind the hall, inaccesible for the common people, where the gods gather to create new Knights or Matoran. All Knights begin their lives here.

The Golden Market

A large area in front of the House of Gods is dedicated to trade and commerce. Many stands, stores and warehouses contain goods brought from the Dying Worlds and items made by the craftsmen of the city. Merchants from distant villages come here to trade while people crowd the streets and the sound of loud bartering fills the air. There is no dedicated currency, so trade is done by barter. Gold nuggets and gems are the closest equivalents to money. If one desires something, they are likely to find it here.

House of Life

While Matoran and Knights cannot die from old age, various accidents, Skrall raids or the dangerous nature of the Dying Worlds might prove lethal, and injuries are even more common. The House of Life was built for the dead and the wounded, and a large group of priests, shamans and Knights help those in need. The dead may be resurrected through an elaborate ritual, where a group of priests invoke the powers of the gods. These services are free, for commoners already pay more than enough tax to the church.

The House of Knowledge

A massive stone building located near the centre of the city, housing most of the knowledge in the entire Undying Lands. Thousands of books, scrolls and tablets can be found here, although one isn't allowed to borrow them or to take them away because most tomes are deemed highly valuable and fragile. Some of them are alien tomes recovered from the Dying Worlds, many of which remain untranslated.

The Observatory

Located outside the city on a rocky hill, this stone building is unique because of its large bronze telescope. Scholars use this artifact to study the stars above and to notice any new Dying Worlds when they appear. Future is sometimes predicted by examining the constellations. These predictions have surprisingly often been correct. The common populace isn't very fond of the astrologists living here, for despite their important task of finding new worlds they are seen as hermits, sloths and bringers of bad news.

The House of Learning

The only proper educational centre in the world, the House of Learning is where all Knights learn the skills necessary for their duty. They spend at least a decade here, learning simple things like writing, combat and counting basic mathematics or more complex ones like stewardship, diplomacy and tactics. Every Knight chooses one skill they specialize in, although Vortixx Knights often master an additional skill.

The House of Justice

Usually Knights act as judges, and follow the Sacred Law of the gods when passing judgement to criminal commoners. But when a Knight commits a crime they are taken to the House of Justice, where a group of priests will determine the punishment for their misbehaviour. All Rogue Knights have been here once, for the gods can read the minds of their creations and detect any rebellious thoughts. The usual punishment is to take away the Knight's holding and forbidding them from entering the House of Gods. Other punishments include seizing of valuable items, mutilation, imprisonment or a holy ordeal. One of the more severe punishments is being killed by a god, or in the case of Karzahni's followers, receiving horrible mutations.

The Drunken Knight

The most famous and wealthiest tavern in the Undying Lands, the Drunken Knight has a good reputation and is known for its exquisite selection of drinks made from the exotic plants from the Dying Worlds. But despite the wealth and reputation, the place isn't very luxurious and is built out of wood. Most of the furniture is old and tends to break unexpectedly and the building looks like it will collapse at any moment. Still, many love the place for its joyous atmosphere: bards, storytellers and dancers from far away lands gather here every week to entertain the visitors and the staff is very friendly as well. Both Knights and Matoran peasants like to visit this place and forget their different ranks, for a while at least.

The Knights

I am a Knight,
who will always remain loyal to his god,
always protect the weak,
always watch over them,
always be just, fair and wise,
and who will never abandon his tasks,
for only in death does duty end.
~Count Kolem's oath

In order to govern the large population of Matoran, gods created various species to help them with this task. Members of these species are called Knights and rule from castles in the countryside. They are below the clergy when it comes to ranks of power, and must obey them at all times or face punishment. Their other task is to protect Matoran workers when they gather resources from the Dying Worlds. All Knights have supernatural abilities, such as elemental powers or the ability to use Masks of Power. They receive extensive training in the House of Learning and are both skilled warriors and governors, often choosing one or two disciplines to master.

Knights often compete with each other, which has resulted in conflicts in the Undying Lands. Some centuries ago Knights adopted feudalism, after Takanuva granted conquered castles to those who swore an oath of loyalty to him. Now several Kings are served by Dukes, who are in turn served by Counts. The gods do not seem to care, as long as Knights fulfill their duty and remain loyal to them.

If a god is particularly fond of a Knight, they might turn them into a demigod. These very powerful beings are called Sacred Champions, and have weaker versions of their god's powers. This transformation comes at a cost, however, for the Knight will lose their original powers, their holding and most of their free will. Champions are fully loyal to their god and accomplish various tasks for them.

Sometimes a Knight refuses to worship any of the three gods, abandons their duty of a lord or doesn't join any campaigns. These Knights are called Rogue Knights, and aren't allowed to own castles or enter the House of Gods. They are outcasts of the society, travelling from castle to castle, sometimes becoming bodyguards or advisors. Their lives might be lonely, but it is a small cost for freedom.

The Barbarians

We fight. We win. We take. WE ARE SKRALL!!
~Translated barbarian war cry

Far away from the civilized lands, in a hidden valley amongst the mountains, thousands of sapient beings live in an isolated community, worshipping their own god and following their own laws. They call themselves the Skrall. They are as large as Knights are, wear black armour and carry fearsome weapons. They have no special powers, but are still very skilled, strong and certainly outnumber the Knights by a great margin. They sustain their society through raiding, although some scouts have reported that they have a malfunctional portal leading to the Dying Worlds, and they have been spotted on them, meaning thatthe portal still functions occasionally.

Despite being split into numerous tribes, occasionally a strong warlord unites them and leads a horde on a raid to the realm of gods. They are the reason for Knights dwelling in fortified castles: during a raid the commoners hide behind their lord's walls. Skrall raids are common and not very devastating, but when a horde gathers and invades most Knights rally to defend the realm. It is not known how the Skrall are able to resist the influence of the three gods, but some scholars say that they have some kind of immunity, are too stupid to understand the concept of religion or are ruled by their own god who is similar to Artakha, Karzahni and Tren Krom. Nevertheless they are a serious danger to the civilized people.

The Gods

Artakha bless you!

May Karzahni consume your soul!

Tren Krom be with you!

~Typical sayings (Karzahni consuming one's soul is considered to be a good thing)

There are three gods who rule the Undying Lands and create new Knights and Matoran by combining their powers, often rather reluctantly. These gods rule over the land by giving orders to the ruling clergy via telepathy. Artakha and Karzahni compete with each other, so Knights who thrive in battle against against Knights of opposing faith will be rewarded, while Tren Krom will favour those who make sure that servants of neither side defeat the other in the Dying Worlds. If a god is particularly fond of a Knight, they might ascend and become a Sacred Champion.

Some legends tell that these gods were actually created by an even greater god, often called the Great Spirit. There is no proof of this, and the gods themselves refuse to tell the truth. Takanuva does claim to be an heir and son of the Great Spirit, but refuses to say if the gods themselves are its children as well. All gods, excluding Takanuva, live in the grand temple located in Magna. Few are ever permitted to see them.

-Artakha: The God of Light and Creation-

Artakha is traditionally depicted as a male humanoid wielding a large war hammer as a weapon. He is a highly skilled creator, capable of creating or repairing various objects with ease. His duty is to create the bodies of the Knights, but he struggles greatly with creating animals. Legends say that he wears the fabled Mask of Creation, a beautifully decorated golden mask. He's believed to have powers of teleportation and telepathy as well, able to read the thoughts of his worshippers. Few have ever seen his physical form, but it is said that his armour is gray-green decorated with ancient symbols. Artakha is a benevolent but reclusive god, more interested in observing the world rather than affecting it directly. Because creation is seen as the opposite power to the destructive Shadows, he is believed to be a god of light. A Toa named Takanuva claims to be the true God of Light, but few believe his words.

-Karzahni: The God of Darkness and Destruction-

Karzahni is often depicted as a monstrous male humanoid wielding flaming chains, covered in scraps of armour and wearing a large black cloak on his shoulders. He is believed to be the brother of Artakha, a God of Destruction instead of Creation. Karzahni believes that the Shadows will consume all who they think are hostile, and as a result believes that Shadows should be contacted and negotiated with. This has made him to be accosiated with Darkness. His followers see destruction and death as a natural part of life, necessary for its continued existence. They know that creation is part of life as well, but refuse to worship Artakha, a god of pure creation.

Karzahni himself is malicious and insane, finding those who disobey him by reading their thoughts and giving them horrible mutations. Sometimes he is kind and friendly, but can unpredictably become cruel again. His task is to create the emotions of the Knights, both good and bad. He wears the Mask of Alternate Futures, that shows him visions of possible upcoming events. It's commonly believed that Karzahni saw a vision of the Shadows breaking through the protective barrier and consuming the Undying Lands, making him decide to avoid opposing them directly in order to make peace with them and save the realm.

-Tren Krom: The God of Balance and Order-

Tren Krom is usually depicted as a fully organic being that has a terrifying appearance. It is believed to be the oldest god, its followers seeing it as the creator of both Artakha and Karzahni. It wears no mask, but has the powers of telepathy, mental blasts, disintegration beams and body swapping. It can sometimes take direct control of a being who allowed it to do so. When in control of someone, it is unable to use their powers and abilities. Its task is to create the minds of Knights and giving them the ability to think.

It is seen as a god of order and balance, that makes sure neither Artakha or Karzahni ever overcome the other or fight in the grand temple, so the barrier never collapses and the Shadows stay out of the Undying Lands. Few have ever seen its physical form, but it is said that those who had seen it turned insane and committed suicide. It is seen as a wise and benevolent god, that often forgives the sins of its worshippers. However, those not forgiven are disintegrated into dust.

-Takanuva: The Claimant God-King of Light-

Takanuva isn't exactly a god, but a Knight and the King of Jala, a nation in the Undying Lands. He is a Toa of Light, the only one known to exist. This makes his claim of godhood somewhat legitimate, but he lacks the telepathic abilities of the true gods. Nevertheless he is worshipped by a small cult in his lands. He claims to be the son and heir of the Great Spirit itself.

The Shadows

Next to nothing is known about them. It is known that they appear on Dying Worlds after a while, and that they consume them. But few have seen them, and those who have tell various stories about them. To some, they are globs of darkness, to others, living shades and to a few they are shapeshifters. The commoners know nothing at all about them, with the exception of high-ranking members of the clergy, and Knights prefer to avoid thinking about them too much.

_________________________________________________

RULES AND GAMEPLAY

Character Creation

Before you may join the game, you must create a character profile and post it in the discussion topic to be approved. Here's some detailed information about what some of the less self-explanatory sections should contain.

-Species-

Custom species are allowed, and will be approved if they aren't overpowered. Here are the most common species in the Undying Lands:

Toa

The legends tell that the First Knight was a Toa, a member of a race known for their elemental powers and sacred masks. It is told that this First Knight used to be a Matoran, who was so faithful to all gods that she ascended and became the first Toa and protector of the common people. Because of this myth, Toa are often seen as ascended forms of Matoran. Many tales about heroic Knights have Toa as the main characters, and the peasantry tends to respect Toa more than other species.

May have one elemental power and one Great Mask.

Skakdi

The brutish Skakdi are seen as strong, brave but selfish warriors. They tend to use violence as a solution to problems more often than other Knight species and many of them disrespect decorum and modesty. They are also seen as the less faithful servants of the gods, and many folk stories feature them as the fallen heroes, who are corrupted by the forces of evil. There are Skakdi who do not exhibit these traits, but unfortunately must learn to live with this prejudice against their race.

One elemental power (can only be used in conjunction with another Skakdi) and one vision power.

Vortixx

Tall and intelligent, Vortixx often excel in the House of Learning and learn better than other students. They however lack any special powers, forcing them to rely on their intelligence in difficult situations. Vortixx also tend to be very deceptive and cunning, and there's a common saying "Trusting a Vortixx is about as wise as jumping off a cilff" among the Knights and the peasantry. They are skilled tinkers and engineers, and sometimes wear modified masks of power.

May have one Great Mask and one extra skill.

Makuta

Makuta are strange beings and one of the more powerful Knight species. They have begun to appear only recently, and the records in the Great Library have no mention of their race. They wield the power of Shadow, which has caused most Matoran associate the Makuta with the destructive Shadows. They don't have a unified look and often have an ominous appearance. Because of these reasons, the peasantry is afraid of them. They are usually arrogant and confident. Nobody knows why the gods have started to create them, although some priests say it's part of Karzahni's plan to ally with the Shadows, or possibly to use their own powers against them.

Not made out of antidermis. Shadow power and one additional elemental power.

Zyglak

While Skakdi are regarded as brutish, amphibious Zyglak are regarded as savage and bestial. They are strong and tend to enjoy combat more than other species. Most interestingly, they are immune to elemental powers and are able to breathe under water. Their elemental resistance also makes them less vulnerable against the Shadows. Despite their nature Zyglak are perfectly capable of learning languages and other intellectual skills. Matoran respect them, more out of fear than admiration.

Amphibious, resistance to elemental powers.

Matoran

The most common species in the Undying Lands. They aren't Knights, but commoners. Matoran may be crafters, merchants, guards, priests, travellers, bards etc. but true military and administrative tasks are always left to the Knights. They are rather short compared to the Knight species, often half the size of a Toa, and lack any special powers. They wear powerless masks that keep them alive. No Matoran has ever been a lord, and only the bravest of them travel to the Dying Worlds.

No special items or powers.

NOTE: Your character's skin might be made out of protodermis, but protosteel can cut through it like iron can cut through human skin. As such it's treated like human skin when it comes to deflecting attacks. This means that your character needs armour in order to survive.

-Powers-

Knights are able to use various supernatural powers allowing them to accomplish wondrous things, like creation and control of an element, defeat enemies by simply gazing at them or using the powers of Great Masks. However, the amount of energy required for use of these abilities is rather great, so Knights can't provide everyone with endless amounts of resources by using thier elemental powers, making campaigns to Dying Worlds necessary.

-Skills-

Skills are special abilities characters may have. These may vary greatly, so you may let your imagination flow! Matoran characters do not have access to Knight skills. Skills may give bonuses or simply help building the character's background. Here are some examples:

Example common skills:

Healing

You know much about the anatomy of all the different species and are familiar with a large variety of diseases and injuries that you have learned to cure. You can effectively heal the injuries of yourself and others.

Looting

You do not shun to touch the dead. You know how to remove masks, where people hide their valuables and when it is clear that they are still alive. You may take one item from a single dead character during a Dying Worlds campaign.

Priesthood

You have spent much of your life in a temple, studying sacred tomes and praying to your chosen god. Able to ask one of the gods (read: the GM) for help in dire situations. They may or may not help, depending on their mood.

Example Knight skills:

Lore

You've read a lot of books. You're very wise and intelligent. As a result you may know (read: a GM may tell you) how some of the more exotic relics can be used.

Training

You're a wise mentor, having taught many Knights combat skills. This allows you to have two additional bodyguards.

Treasure hunting

After years of absorbing existing knowledge about ruins and searching them for relics, you've learned where treasures can usually be found. You're likely to notice special treasures that others are unable to find when searching ruins.

-Gear and Relics-

Items you can have in the beginning include various trinkets, tools and objects that aren't too technologically advanced. Most items from Bionicle canon will be employed as relics, and thus aren't available by default. Metal and bamboo disks seen on Mata Nui are fine though. Trading items with other characters and NPCs in Magna's Golden Market is allowed and recommended. Gold and gems can be used as currency. NPC traders will be played by the GM. You may only have weapons and armour made out of protosteel in the beginning. Relics found in ruins may be kept or given to the clergy in order to receive rewards and please the chosen god.

Gameplay

-Locations for interaction-

In the Undying Lands, characters can either be in a holding, in the countryside or in Magna. In the Dying Worlds players must work together or fight each other in order to find treasures. Long distance communication is done by giving letters to Matoran messengers, who will carry them to desired locations.

-The Dying Worlds campaigns-

Sometimes entire worlds appear in the void beyond the Undying Lands, full of resources. Travel to these bountiful worlds is possible through portals that somehow already exist on the surface and are connected to numerous existing portals in the Undying Lands. Once there, the Knights will set up a base camp and scout the nearby area. A rough overview of the surface area will be given to the characters, but actual sites must be located. These sites are ruins, forests, lakes etc. that can be explored. Afterwards (unless the explorers found something unpleasant) the Knights may continue searching other ruins, look for enemies to attack or protect Matoran workers who arrive to gather resources from beasts. All worlds have four seasons of life: spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Once all sites have been scavenged, which shouldn't happen until winter, the world will be abandoned and left for the Shadows to consume. All dead players will be resurrected by the gods in the Undying Lands if their bodies are brought back and taken to the House of Life. Shadows may consume unprotected dead bodies. It is not known what happens to them, but those characters are presumed dead afterwards. Found treasure will be shared. If there's an uneven amount of treasure, the highest ranking feudal lords take away as much treasure as necessary until the number of remaining treasure is even.

Every world is different, with various biomes, animals, plants and landscapes. In addition elemental powers may be nullified or enhanced, the world may be large or small and there may be special sites or enemies that can be found. Whenever a new world appears, its distance from the Undying Lands defines the amount of influence of the gods and the Shadows. Knights have varying alliances depending on what sphere of influence the world appears in. These belts of infuence are called Gods' Reach, Dusk and Darkness:

The Gods' Reach
Three factions, Balance, Light and Darkness fight for the dominance of these worlds. The goal for Light and Darkness is to defeat the opposing sides and gather as many relics as possible in order to impress their god, while the goal for Balance is to ensure there is no clear victor between Light and Darkness and that neither side gains relics by taking them for themselves. These worlds are still rather barren. All must also fight against the Shadows, when they begin appearing during autumn. Loot is shared evenly between the members of the faction, regardless of feudal rank.

The Dusk
Worlds that appear here are too far away for gods to have any influence there. On these more plentiful worlds Kingdoms fight for treasures. The Shadows begin appearing in the summer. The loot is shared in the following way: King gets 50% of the loot, Dukes get 35% (divided equally between them) and Counts get 15% (divided equally between them). If there are no Counts, then it's divided like this: Kings get 75% and Dukes 25%. Kings without vassals aren't allowed to fight on these worlds.

The Darkness
The most gorgeous and fertile worlds form here, far away from the Undying Lands. These worlds are rich with minerals and covered in ruins. But the gods forbid Kings and Matoran from travelling here, and only daring vassals or rogues can travel. These worlds quickly wither away, and the Shadows will always be there. Strange weather will soon begin to occur, causing all kinds of horrifying things on any visitors. The landscapes and nature will twist into something truly horrifying. Every character can keep what they want to keep or share with others.

-Feudalism-

Every Knight should be either a King with vassals or a Duke/Count with a liege. They don't have to be, but alone they'll be unprotected and vulnerable. Every vassal has sworn to give loot to the King and to follow their orders. In return, every King has sworn to protect their vassals and help them in times of need. In order for a King to gain the holding of an other King, they may claim their title and challenge them to a duel or a melee, and take their title away if they win. Kings can vassalize other Kings and their vassals or take their holding this way as well. The strongest rule in the Undying Lands, so lords have also formed bodyguards to protect and serve them. These bodyguards are Knights without titles, who are provided food and equipment by their lord. The size of a bodyguard group depends on the tier of the lord's castle.

Bodyguards may be either NPCs or player characters. NPCs are played like proper characters but can be killed without their player's consent, although they should still be challenging to kill. All other rules that apply on player characters apply on them. Lost bodyguards can be replaced pretty much immediately, although you may want to leave a spot open for a player character bodyguard.

-Inheritance-

Every Knight can nominate an heir. An heir will gain the holding, items and wealth if the Knight perishes in the Dying Worlds. This means that a Knight can have multiple holdings. Landless Knights may arrive in the court of an owner of multiple castles, and ask to receive one and become a vassal. You can only upgrade your primary holding if you have multiple ones. The primary holding is your first holding.

-Duels and Melees-

Because Knights aren't very numerous and Matoran aren't warriors, differences between Knights are resolved by duels or melees instead of wars. A duel is a battle between two combatants, while in a melee there are multiple participants on both sides. Duels and melees often take place in the courtyard of a castle. The winner of a duel gains the title of the loser: If, for example, Duke Tahu defeats King Kopaka in a duel, Tahu will become the new King and gain Kopaka's castle, bodyguards and all his vassals. Kopaka is now without anything, while Tahu has two castles, bodyguards and additional vassals.

Melees are similar, but there both sides may choose their vassals or bodyguards to assist them in battle. Both groups must have even numbers. The person who is challenged into a duel may choose a champion from amongst their vassals or bodyguards to fight in their stead. People may die in duels and melees, but it's very rare and they may be resurrected in the House of Life. Injuries and wounds are more common.

-Holdings-

Knights very commonly own personal castles. These are mostly status symbols and storages for their belongings, but are fortified because of possible bandit, barbarian or peasant attacks. A castle has several tiers, each with its own buildings. Each castle tier is associated with a feudal rank, larger ones being more heavily fortified and able to sustain larger bodyguard groups. Even if your rank degrades, the castle tier remains the same.

Tier 1
Motte and bailey

All Counts have these. A small wooden keep on a hill surrounded by a fence.

-Wooden Keep (You live here. May contain things like kitchens, bedrooms, dining rooms, offices and libraries)
-Wooden fence (to keep angry Matoran peasants away)
-Tiny warehouse (for storing certain relics. Max. 1)

-Small Well and reservoir (Enough to last for a 3 IRL day siege)

-Tiny barracks (Enough room for a single bodyguard)

Tier 2
Small Fort

Owned by Dukes. Similar to a motte and bailey, small forts have keeps built out of stone and larger buildings.

-Stone Keep
-Wooden wall
-Wooden gate
-Well and reservoir (Enoguh water to last for a 6 IRL day siege)
-Warehouse (Max. 3 relics)

-Barracks (Enough room for 3 bodyguards)

Tier 3
Castle

Owned by Kings. A proper castle with stone fortifications and buildings.

-Sizeable stone Keep
-Stone Wall
-Reinforced wooden gate
-Large well and reservoir (Enough to last for a 12 IRL day siege)
-Expansive warehouse (Max. 9 relics)
-Expanded barracks (Enough room for 6 bodyguards)

______________________________________________

(I'm thinking about putting this in the discussion topic rather than here. There will also be a list of kingdoms and important NPC characters there.)

Send a profile to be approved before you start playing. Here's a template, with unnecessary sections marked with *. You may have additional sections.

Name: What is your character called?

Species: You may choose between Toa, Skakdi, Vortixx, Makuta, Zyglak, Matoran or custom.

Powers & Skills: Toa can have one elemental power. Skakdi can have one elemental power they can use with another Skakdi and a vision power. Makuta can have Shadow and one additional elemental power. Zyglak are amphibious and are resistant to elemental powers. Matoran and Vortixx are powerless. Your character may also choose a skill they've mastered over years of training.Vortixx can have an extra skill.

*Personality: How do they react to different situations? What do they value in life? What habits do they have? Answers to questions like these are included here. You may mention their gender as well, although there are no biological genders. Love is always considered platonic, because Knights and Matoran are unable to reproduce.

*Biography: What has happened to your character in the past? Knights usually spend a decade in the House of Learning, and have often joined several campaigns in the past.

Appearance: What does your character look like? Remember that characters should look like other members of your species. Mutants aren't a thing, because Knights are created by gods.

*Deity: if your character doesn't worship a god, they can't be a vassal of a religious person and they can't fight in Gods' Reach. Choose between Artakha, Karzahni or Tren Krom. Your character may worship Takanuva as well, but he's not a god. Or is he?

*Liege and Vassals: If your character is a Knight, they may be either a King, Duke or a Count. A king can have three dukes as vassals while a duke can have three counts. A King can name his or her own realm and give it a motto and a symbol/coat-of-arms. Vassals don't gain as much loot as their liege does. If your character doesn't have a liege and has no vassals then they independent.Your other personal characters can't be each other's vassals or lieges.

*Bodyguards: A Knight may have a retinue of warrior to protect them. They may be either NPCs or characters of other players. Include short profiles here listing their name, species, appearance and combat skill, and if there's a player character, it's preferable that you include a link to their profile. A Count may have a single bodyguard, a Duke may have three and a King may have six.

*Holding: If you're a feudal lord, you can have a holding. The description may be very detailed and the castle must be named. Include the tier of your castle.

*Heir: If you have nominated an heir, tell their name here. This character will gain your character's holding, items, vassals and wealth if he or she dies permanently in the Dying Worlds.

Gear: Weapons, armour and special items like relics, treasure and masks. In the beginning you may have protosteel gear. If you have Close Combat skill, you may start out with a close combat weapon and a metal shield. If you have Ranged Combat skill, you may start out with a ranged weapon. NO GUNS, not even muskets. Gunpowder isn't a thing. No tech beyond European 14th century, please. Special items found in ruins may be more advanced, including items from Bionicle canon.

____________________________________________________

General Rules

1. All BZP rules apply. Think of the children.

2. Use "IC:" in your post to show when your character is speaking/doing things, and use "OoC:" when you are saying something.

3. Your characters aren't gods. They have very few supernatural powers, they don't know things they shouldn't know, they have many flaws, they can't create items out of nowhere and they make mistakes. Follow the laws of logic and science (powers are an exception). Don't dodge every hit, and bleed if you're wounded. Pain is a thing as well. Your character should die when they should die. You cannot win, but you also cannot lose. And don't worry, you can nominate your other personal character as heir, although that character can't be their vassal or liege.

4. No auto-hitting/controlling other characters. The other player will control their won characters and decide how their own character was affected by your attacks. Items are considered parts of characters, so they can't be damaged without the consent of their owner.

5. Characters cannot be played as until their profiles are approved

6. No Expies. I don't want to see a biomechanical Eddard Stark, thank you.

Most important rule of all: Respect other players and the GM(s).

Edited May 3, 2015 by Daniel the Finlander

**Voltex** · April 30, 2015

8. Characters can be played as until their profiles are approved

I think you mean "cannot"?

Daniel the Finlander · April 30, 2015

Oops

Prowl Nightwolf · April 30, 2015

Wow that was a lot to read. You really got a full concept here. Not sure it is something I would join but maybe be a good distraction for reading... . Nice work.

**Voltex** · May 1, 2015

My main issue with Knightfall right now (and this is the consensus of a few players) is that there seems to be just... too much. Too much of everything. I feel like somewhere in there, you have a very interesting core that could grow into a very fun RPG; but right now there's too much excess fluff to swim through, and it's dragging me down.

So what I'm going to do is go through all of Knightfall, bit by bit, and I'm going to note everything that I feel could be cut from the RPG for now.

Introduction

Legend tells that aeons ago we ruled the stars
We created godly things without any help from gods
We built towers that scraped the skies
We were all happy and free

but all was lost in a single day
and since that day
we have not recovered
and we never will

Our homeworld, called the Undying Lands, may be barren and lifeless, but at least it is safe from the ruinous Shadows. Three gods protect and take care of us mortals, but are unable to feed us. Occasionally a world appears in the Void, where we may travel through ancient portals. These worlds are bountiful and beautiful but oh so fragile, for the gods are unable to save them from the hungry Shadows. Why don't the gods move and create a new home for us all on one of these worlds? It is not known, like so many other things about the universe. These worlds are far from safe, so our workers are protected by the champions of the gods, who are called the Knights. However, the truth is that they care little about our safety, and are much more interested about relics and treasures found inside abandoned ruins. They are not united, for they choose to worship one god and one god only. Because the gods grant their most loyal servants amazing powers, Knights seek to impress them by defeating 'infidels' and recovering artifacts. After the campaign is over and the world is left for the Shadows to consume, the Knights return to their castles to heal their wounds and to estimate the value of their loot while we commoners pray to gods that we have enough food to keep us alive until a new world appears in the Void. Such is life on this world.

I feel as though this introduction should be kept, and should in fact be all you have for the lore. The sections below it for the Undying Lands and Knights should be cut entirely (or in the case of the latter, perhaps moved elsewhere as I shall speak more on later), as you have already discussed them here. If absolutely necessary, add a few extra details into this introduction that might be missing after removing the other two sections.

The two "special" kinds of Knights do not need to be elaborated on. Simply mention that some Knights might have the opportunity to be blessed by a god or to go rogue, and that each of these have their own unique consequences.

Magna, the Holy City of Gods and the Capital of the World

The only city in the world is Magna, for almost all Matoran live in small villages near castles. The city, ruled by the gods themselves, is located on a seaside cliff and has massive walls built out of various rocks brought from the Dying Worlds. The city itself is filled with hundreds of huts built from wood and stone. The feuds between the servants of different gods do not matter here, and wielding weapons is forbidden for citizens and visitors. The Goldenguard, whose members are the only ones allowed to carry weapons, maintains order in the streets. On the very edge of the cliff, there is a massive temple with a golden roof called the House of Gods, where all three gods delve. In front of the complex is the Golden Market, the largest centre of trade in the world. There are many other public buildings in the city as well.

All of the blurbs for the separate locations within Magna should be cut down to no more than one or two sentences apiece. This RPG is already massive, so the less extraneous information you have, the better.

This also goes for the quotes that you have included throughout the post; they do not appear to have any bearing on the information given, and as such could be removed to free up space and clear away some of the clutter.

You also give us this entire location, but then have another section for locations further down in the post? This is confusing, and is part of what causes the RPG to appear muddled and unorganized. You should structure the RPG around various sections such as Introduction, Locations, Important Characters/Profiles, Gameplay Mechanics. Give everything a specific place, rather than dividing up gameplay mechanics and locations throughout the entire post.

I've also read over the Dying Worlds portion of the post three times and still don't really understand what they're supposed to be, or what their place in the plot of the game is supposed to be. As such, while I might be misunderstanding, they seem to me to be something that you could cut from the RPG entirely (both the locations and the quests). From what I have read, the "Magna" location itself could be more than enough to entertain players as a location.

Character Creation

-Species-
Custom species are allowed, and will be approved if they aren't overpowered.

Toa
The legends tell that the First Knight was a Toa, a member of a race known for their elemental powers and sacred masks. It is told that this First Knight used to be a Matoran, who was so faithful to all gods that she ascended and became the first Toa and protector of the common people. Because of this myth, Toa are often seen as ascended forms of Matoran. Many tales about heroic Knights have Toa as the main characters, and the peasantry tends to respect Toa more than other species.
May have one elemental power and one mask.

Skakdi
The brutish Skakdi are seen as strong, brave but selfish warriors. They tend to use violence as a solution to problems more often than other Knight species and many of them disrespect decorum and modesty. They are also seen as the less faithful servants of the gods, and many folk stories feature them as the fallen heroes, who are corrupted by the forces of evil. There are Skakdi who do not exhibit these traits, but unfortunately must learn to live with this prejudice against their race.
One elemental power (can only be used in conjunction with another Skakdi) and one vision power.

Vortixx
Tall and intelligent, Vortixx often excel in the House of Learning and learn better than other students. They however lack any special powers, forcing them to rely on their intelligence in difficult situations. Vortixx also tend to be very deceptive and cunning, and there's a common saying "Trusting a Vortixx is about as wise as jumping off a cilff" among the Knights and the peasantry. They are skilled tinkers and engineers, and sometimes wear modified masks of power.
May have one mask and one extra skill.

Makuta
Makuta are strange beings and one of the more powerful Knight species. They have begun to appear only recently, and the records in the Great Library have no mention of their race. They wield the power of Shadow, which has caused most Matoran associate the Makuta with the destructive Shadows. They don't have a unified look and often have an ominous appearance. Because of these reasons, the peasantry is afraid of them. They are usually arrogant and confident. Nobody knows why the gods have started to create them, although some priests say it's part of Karzahni's plan to ally with the Shadows, or possibly to use their own powers against them.
Not made out of antidermis. Shadow power and one additional elemental power.

Zyglak
While Skakdi are regarded as brutish, amphibious Zyglak are regarded as savage and bestial. They are strong and tend to enjoy combat more than other species. Most interestingly, they are immune to elemental powers and are able to breathe under water. Their elemental resistance also makes them less vulnerable against the Shadows. Despite their nature Zyglak are perfectly capable of learning languages and other intellectual skills. Matoran respect them, more out of fear than admiration.
Amphibious, resistance to elemental powers.

Matoran
The most common species in the Undying Lands. They aren't Knights, but commoners. Matoran may be crafters, merchants, guards, priests, travellers, bards etc. but true military and administrative tasks are always left to the Knights. They are rather short compared to the Knight species, often half the size of a Toa, and lack any special powers. They wear powerless masks that keep them alive. No Matoran has ever been a lord, and only the bravest of them travel to the Dying Worlds.
No special items or powers.

NOTE: Your character's skin might be made out of protodermis, but protosteel can cut through it like iron can cut through human skin. As such it's treated like human skin when it comes to deflecting attacks. This means that your character needs armour in order to survive.

I'm not going to quote the entire Character Creation section because, quite frankly, it is ridiculous. For each of the playable species, you could easily cut the descriptions of their basic advantages and disadvantages to a single line per species; all of this backstory for each one is unnecessary and could be given through in-game interactions. The Gear section should be removed entirely, replaced with a simple "canon only" disclaimer, or replaced with a list of things not allowed, since I feel that would take up less space than what you have right now.

The skills should either be removed or condensed; as they are right now, there are too many and they feel very constricting.

---

For everything under the Dying Worlds stuff (which I have already recommended you cut, as per above), I have the following thoughts:

-Everything could be condensed to two or three sentences for each.

-Feudalism and Duels/Melees could be merged together, as both function the same, just with different character types

-Remove the Tier 4 for holdings. If they do not exist yet, they should not be included. That does not mean you cannot introduce them down the line; I would point to Bionifight Infinite as an excellent example here, where we have added Mechs and special War Games to the RPG after its original release.

Name: What is your character called?
Species: You may choose between Toa, Skakdi, Vortixx, Makuta, Zyglak, Matoran or custom.
Powers: Toa can have one elemental power. Skakdi can have one elemental power they can use with another Skakdi and a vision power. Makuta can have Shadow and one additional elemental power. Zyglak are amphibious and are resistant to elemental powers. Matoran and Vortixx are powerless.
Skills: Your character may choose a skill they've mastered over years of training. In addition, every Knight character has Close combat or Ranged Combat skill by default. Vortixx can have an extra skill. So, Toa, Skakdi and Makuta can have CC or RC + extra skill and Vortixx can have CC or RC + two extra skills while Matoran can just have one Common skill. Get it?
Personality: How do they react to different situations? What do they value in life? What habits do they have? Answers to questions like these are included here. You may mention their gender as well, although there are no biological genders. Love is always considered platonic, because Knights and Matoran are unable to reproduce.
*Biography: What has happened to your character in the past? Knights usually spend a decade in the House of Learning, and have often joined several campaigns in the past.
Appearance: What does your character look like? Remember that characters should look like other members of your species. Mutants aren't a thing, because Knights are created by gods.
*Deity: if your character doesn't worship a god, they can't be a vassal of a religious person and they can't fight in Gods' Reach. Choose between Artakha, Karzahni or Tren Krom. Your character may worship Takanuva as well, but he's not a god. Or is he?
*Liege and Vassals: If your character is a Knight, they may be either a King, Duke or a Count. A king can have three dukes as vassals while a duke can have three counts. A King can name his or her own realm and give it a motto and a symbol/coat-of-arms. Vassals are their liege's allies, but can usurp their titles if a character with Intrigue skill fabricates a claim for them, if they have a fair cause for a duel or if they already have the skill. After they defeat the King in combat, they will lose their holding and title while the usurper becomes a King. Vassals don't gain as much loot as their liege does. If your character doesn't have a liege and has no vassals then they independent.Your other personal characters can't be each other's vassals or lieges.
*Bodyguards: A Knight may have a retinue of warrior to protect them. They may be either NPCs or characters of other players. Include short profiles here listing their name, species, appearance and combat skill, and if there's a player character, it's preferable that you include a link to their profile. A Count may have a single bodyguard, a Duke may have three and a King may have six.
*Holding: If you're a feudal lord, you can have a holding. The description may be very detailed and the castle must be named. Include the tier of your castle.
*Heir: If you have nominated an heir, tell their name here. This character will gain your character's holding, items, vassals and wealth if he or she dies permanently in the Dying Worlds.
Gear: Weapons, armour and special items like relics, treasure and masks. In the beginning you may have protosteel gear. If you have Close Combat skill, you may start out with a close combat weapon and a metal shield. If you have Ranged Combat skill, you may start out with a ranged weapon. NO GUNS, not even muskets. Gunpowder isn't a thing. No tech beyond European 14th century, please. Special items found in ruins may be more advanced, including items from Bionicle canon.

This profile form has thirteen fields to fill out, and that looks like a nightmare. Powers & Skills should be one single field, while Personality can be merged with Biography. The Skills field should be removed entirely. Lieges, Vassals, Bodyguards, and Heir can all be a single field.

1. All BZP rules apply. Think of the children.
2. Use "IC:" in your post to show when your character is speaking/doing things, and use "OoC:" when it's you who's saying something.
3. Your characters aren't gods. They have very few supernatural powers, many flaws and they make mistakes. Follow the laws of logic and science (powers are an exception). Don't dodge every hit, and bleed if you're wounded. Pain is a thing as well. Your character should die when they should die. You cannot win, but you also cannot lose. And don't worry, you can nominate your other personal character as heir, although that character can't be their vassal or liege.
4. No auto-hitting. The other player will decide whether or not the attack was effective.
5. No controlling of other characters without permission. This is called bunnying and is widely hated.
6. No Meta-gaming. Your character knows what he or she knows, not what you know. They probably don't know what oxygen is, and they don't know any cultural references from our world. Some similar idioms and memes are acceptable, as long as they make sense in the context of the game.
7. NO INSTA-ITEMS OR RESOURCES. Like I said before, your characters aren't gods. Get resources and items through legitimate means., like trading or exploring ruins. Stealing from other characters isn't allowed either, unless your character has the Looting skill (see above). Destruction of other characters' items isn't allowed without permission from the player of the said character.
8. Characters cannot be played as until their profiles are approved
9. No Expies. I don't want to see a biomechanical Eddard Stark, thank you.
10. No NPC armies under your service. You may only have a Limited amount of bodyguard NPCs. Most other NPCs will be played by a GM.

Why so many rules? Matoran und Panzer is borked, but The Asylum has 7, Bionifight Infinite has 5, and Corpus Rahkshi has 5 as well.

Also, please, please, please add a map for the locations. It makes it so much easier on players for figuring out distances or the general lay of the land.

Constructelf · May 1, 2015

My commentary isn't going to be as extensive as Voltex's, but I'm going to post it anyways (mostly due to the fact that most of my questions are different than his).

Commentary in red:

Knightfall

Eternal Gods, Dying Worlds

Version 0.4
Inspired by (read: ideas shamelessly stolen from) Crowfall

Table of contents
I. Lore
1. Introduction
2. The Undying Lands
3. The Knights
4. Magna, the Holy City of Gods and the Capital of the World
5. The Gods
6. The Dying Worlds
7. Existing Kingdoms
II. Rules and Gameplay
1. Character creation
2. Gameplay
3. General rules

LORE
Introduction

Legend tells that aeons ago we ruled the stars
We created godly things without any help from gods
We built towers that scraped the skies
We were all happy and free
but all was lost in a single day
and since that day
we have not recovered
and we never will

Our homeworld, called the Undying Lands, may be barren and lifeless, but at least it is safe from the ruinous Shadows. Three gods protect and take care of us mortals, but are unable to feed us. Occasionally a world appears in the Void, where we may travel through ancient portals. These worlds are bountiful and beautiful but oh so fragile, for the gods are unable to save them from the hungry Shadows. Why don't the gods move and create a new home for us all on one of these worlds? It is not known, like so many other things about the universe. These worlds are far from safe, so our workers are protected by the champions of the gods, who are called the Knights. However, the truth is that they care little about our safety, and are much more interested about relics and treasures found inside abandoned ruins. They are not united, for they choose to worship one god and one god only. Because the gods grant their most loyal servants amazing powers, Knights seek to impress them by defeating 'infidels' and recovering artifacts. After the campaign is over and the world is left for the Shadows to consume, the Knights return to their castles to heal their wounds and to estimate the value of their loot while we commoners pray to gods that we have enough food to keep us alive until a new world appears in the Void. Such is life on this world.
The Undying Lands

The Undying Lands is the name given to a large, arid world inhabited by thousands of Matoran and many Knights. The world's landscape consists of massive plateaus of beige rock, large mountains and poisonous seas. There are no animals or plants anywhere, except possibly in the depths of the oceans, if anything can even survive in them, and the surface is impossible to dig through. Yet many live here, because this world is the only one protected from the Shadows, who consume all worlds they find in the Void. The protection comes from three gods: Artakha, Karzahni and Tren Krom. Together (although Karzahni has contributed less and less in recent times) they combine their telepathic powers to form a massive, invisible bubble around the world, unbreachable to the Shadows. There is a cycle of day and night, for a glowing orb of pure white light spins around the world.
The Knights

I am a Knight,
who will always remain loyal to his god,
always protect the weak,
always watch over them,
always be just, fair and wise,
and who will never abandon his tasks,
for only in death does duty end.
~Count Kolem's oath

In order to govern the large population of Matoran, gods created various species to help them with this task. Members of these species are called Knights and rule from castles in the countryside. Their other task is to protect Matoran workers when they gather resources from the Dying Worlds. All Knights have supernatural abilities, such as elemental powers or the ability to use Masks of Power. They receive extensive training in the House of Learning and are both skilled warriors and governors, often choosing one or two disciplines to master. Every Knight chooses one god to worship, despite the fact that all three gods must work together in order to create them. They then seek to impress this god by gathering relics and defeating servants of other gods in the Dying Worlds. Those most successful at this task become demigods and are called Sacred Champions. Knights often compete with each other, which has resulted in conflicts in the Undying Lands. Some centuries ago Knights adopted feudalism, after Takanuva granted conquered castles to those who swore an oath of loyalty to him. Now several Kings are served by Dukes, who are in turn served by Counts. The gods do not seem to care, as long as Knights fulfill their duty and remain loyal to them.

-Sacred Champions-
If a god is particularly fond of a Knight, they might turn them into a demigod. These very powerful beings are called Sacred Champions, and have weaker versions of their god's powers. This transformation comes at a cost, however, for the Knight will lose their original powers, their holding and most of their free will. Champions are fully loyal to their god and accomplish various tasks for them.

-Rogue Knights-
Sometimes a Knight refuses to worship any of the three gods, abandons their duty of a lord or doesn't join any campaigns. These Knights are called Rogue Knights, and aren't allowed to own castles or enter the House of Gods. They are outcasts of the society, travelling from castle to castle, sometimes becoming bodyguards or advisors. Their lives might be lonely, but it is a small cost for freedom.

Magna, the Holy City of Gods and the Capital of the World
The only city in the world is Magna, for almost all Matoran live in small villages near castles. The city, ruled by the gods themselves, is located on a seaside cliff and has massive walls built out of various rocks brought from the Dying Worlds. The city itself is filled with hundreds of huts built from wood and stone. The feuds between the servants of different gods do not matter here, and wielding weapons is forbidden for citizens and visitors. The Goldenguard, whose members are the only ones allowed to carry weapons, maintains order in the streets. On the very edge of the cliff, there is a massive temple with a golden roof called the House of Gods, where all three gods delve. In front of the complex is the Golden Market, the largest centre of trade in the world. There are many other public buildings in the city as well.
-Locations in Magna-
The House of Gods
The gigantic temple is divided into four sections. Those who aren't High Priests are only allowed to enter the middle one, for the gods themselves dwell in the other sections. This neutral ground is a gorgeous church decorated with gold. In the main hall, countless statues, paintings and shrines can be found, with numerous scented candles burning all the time. Often many Matoran are here praying, reading holy texts, listening to preachers or talking with the priests. A large room is located behind the hall, inaccesible for the common people, where the gods gather to create new Knights or Matoran. All Knights begin their lives here.
The Golden Market
A large area in front of the House of Gods is dedicated to trade and commerce. Many stands, stores and warehouses contain goods brought from the Dying Worlds and items made by the craftsmen of the city. Merchants from distant villages come here to trade while people crowd the streets and the sound of loud bartering fills the air. There is no dedicated currency, so trade is done by barter. Gold nuggets and gems are the closest equivalents to money. If one desires something, they are likely to find it here.
House of Life
While Matoran and Knights cannot die from old age, various accidents, Skrall raids or the dangerous nature of the Dying Worlds might prove lethal, and injuries are even more common. The House of Life was built for the dead and the wounded, and a large group of priests, shamans and Knights help those in need. The dead may be resurrected through an elaborate ritual, where a group of priests invoke the powers of the gods. These services are free, for commoners already pay more than enough tax to the church.
The House of Knowledge
A massive stone building located near the centre of the city, housing most of the knowledge in the entire Undying Lands. Thousands of books, scrolls and tablets can be found here, although one isn't allowed to borrow them or to take them away because most tomes are deemed highly valuable and fragile. Some of them are alien tomes recovered from the Dying Worlds, many of which remain untranslated.
The Observatory
Located outside the city on a rocky hill, this stone building is unique because of its large bronze telescope. Scholars use this artifact to study the stars above and to notice any new Dying Worlds when they appear. Future is sometimes predicted by examining the constellations. These predictions have surprisingly often been correct. The common populace isn't very fond of the astrologists living here, for despite their important task of finding new worlds they are seen as hermits, sloths and bringers of bad news.
The House of Learning
The only proper educational centre in the world, the House of Learning is where all Knights learn the skills necessary for their duty. They spend at least a decade here, learning simple things like writing, combat and counting basic mathematics or more complex ones like stewardship, diplomacy and tactics. Every Knight chooses one skill they specialize in, although Vortixx Knights often master an additional skill.
The House of Justice
Usually Knights act as judges, and follow the Sacred Law of the gods when passing judgement to criminal commoners. But when a Knight commits a crime they are taken to the House of Justice, where a group of priests will determine the punishment for their misbehaviour. All Rogue Knights have been here once, for the gods can read the minds of their creations and detect any rebellious thoughts. The usual punishment is to take away the Knight's holding and forbidding them from entering the House of Gods. Other punishments include seizing of valuable items, mutilation, imprisonment or a holy ordeal. One of the more severe punishments is being killed by a god, or in the case of Karzahni's followers, receiving horrible mutations.
The Drunken Knight
The most famous and wealthiest tavern in the Undying Lands, the Drunken Knight has a good reputation and is known for its exquisite selection of drinks made from the exotic plants from the Dying Worlds. But despite the wealth and reputation, the place isn't very luxurious and is built out of wood. Most of the furniture is old and tends to break unexpectedly and the building looks like it will collapse at any moment. Still, many love the place for its joyous atmosphere: bards, storytellers and dancers from far away lands gather here every week to entertain the visitors and the staff is very friendly as well. Both Knights and Matoran peasants like to visit this place and forget their different ranks, for a while at least.

The Barbarians

We fight. We win. We take. WE ARE SKRALL!!
~Translated barbarian war cry

Far away from the civilized lands, in a hidden valley amongst the mountains, thousands of sapient beings live in an isolated community, worshipping their own god and following their own laws. They call themselves the Skrall. They are as large as Knights are, wear black armour and carry fearsome weapons. They have no special powers, but are still very skilled, strong and certainly outnumber the Knights by a great margin. They sustain their society through raiding, although some scouts have reported that they have a malfunctional portal leading to the Dying Worlds. Despite being split into numerous tribes, occasionally a strong warlord unites them and leads a horde on a raid to the realm of gods. They are the reason for Knights dwelling in fortified castles: during a raid the commoners hide behind their lord's walls. Skrall raids are common and not very devastating, but when a horde gathers and invades most Knights rally to defend the realm. It is not known how the Skrall are able to resist the influence of the three gods, but some scholars say that they have some kind of immunity, are too stupid to understand the concept of religion or are ruled by their own god who is similar to Artakha, Karzahni and Tren Krom. Nevertheless they are a serious danger to the civilized people.
So they also live in the Undying Lands? Will Knights ever meet them in the Dying Worlds?

The Gods
Artakha bless you!
May Karzahni consume your soul!
Tren Krom be with you!
~Typical sayings (Karzahni consuming one's soul is considered to be a good thing)
There are three gods who rule the Undying Lands and create new Knights and Matoran by combining their powers, often rather reluctantly. These gods rule over the land by giving orders to a group of priests via telepathy. Artakha and Karzahni compete with each other, so Knights who thrive in battle against against Knights of opposing faith will be rewarded, while Tren Krom will favour those who make sure that servants of neither side defeat the other in the Dying Worlds. If a god is particularly fond of a Knight, they might ascend and become a Sacred Champion. Some legends tell that these gods were actually created by an even greater god, often called the Great Spirit. There is no proof of this, and the gods themselves refuse to tell the truth. Takanuva does claim to be an heir and son of the Great Spirit, but refuses to say if the gods themselves are its children as well. All gods, excluding Takanuva, live in the grand temple located in Magna. Few are ever permitted to see them.

-Artakha: The God of Light and Creation-

Artakha is traditionally depicted as a male humanoid wielding a large war hammer as a weapon. He is a highly skilled creator, capable of creating or repairing various objects with ease. His duty is to create the bodies of the Knights, but he struggles greatly with creating animals. Legends say that he wears the fabled Mask of Creation, a beautifully decorated golden mask. He's believed to have powers of teleportation and telepathy as well, able to read the thoughts of his worshippers. Few have ever seen his physical form, but it is said that his armour is gray-green decorated with ancient symbols. Artakha is a benevolent but reclusive god, more interested in observing the world rather than affecting it directly. Because creation is seen as the opposite power to the destructive Shadows, he is believed to be a god of light. A Toa named Takanuva claims to be the true God of Light, but few believe his words.

-Karzahni: The God of Darkness and Destruction-

Karzahni is often depicted as a monstrous male humanoid wielding flaming chains, covered in scraps of armour and wearing a large black cloak on his shoulders. He is believed to be the brother of Artakha, a God of Destruction instead of Creation. Karzahni believes that the Shadows will consume all who do not side with them, so he is also seen as a god of Darkness. Not sure if I understand this sentence correctly. Does this mean Karz thinks the Shadows will devour all who oppose them (ie the Gods and their Knights)? Or is "them" referring to the Gods? Despite this belief he is not an ally of the Shadows. His followers see destruction and death as a natural part of life, necessary for its continued existence. They know that creation is part of life as well, but refuse to worship Artakha, a god of pure creation. Karzahni himself is malicious and insane, punishing those who disobey him by giving them horrible mutations. He is capable of reading the minds of his followers. Sometimes he is kind and friendly, but can unpredictably become cruel again. His task is to create the emotions of the Knights, both good and bad. He wears the Mask of Alternate Futures, that shows him visions of possible upcoming events. It's commonly believed that Karzahni saw a vision of the Shadows breaking through the protective barrier and consuming the Undying Lands, making him decide to avoid opposing them directly in order to contact them and save the realm.

-Tren Krom: The God of Balance and Order-

Tren Krom is usually depicted as a fully organic being that has a terrifying appearance. It is believed to be the oldest god, its followers seeing it as the creator of both Artakha and Karzahni. It wears no mask, but has the powers of telepathy, mental blasts, disintegration beams and body swapping. It can sometimes take direct control of a being who allowed it to do so. When in control of someone, it is unable to use their powers and abilities. Its task is to create the minds of Knights and giving them the ability to think. It is seen as a god of order and balance, that makes sure neither Artakha or Karzahni ever overcome the other or fight in the grand temple, so the barrier never collapses and the Shadows stay out of the Undying Lands. Few have ever seen its physical form, but it is said that those who had seen it turned insane and committed suicide. It is seen as a wise and benevolent god, that often forgives the sins of its worshippers. However, those not forgiven are disintegrated into dust.

-Takanuva: The Claimant God-King of Light-

Takanuva isn't exactly a god, but a Knight and the King of Jala, a nation in the Undying Lands. He is a Toa of Light, the only one known to exist. This makes his claim of godhood somewhat legitimate, but he lacks the telepathic abilities of the true gods. Nevertheless he is worshipped by a small cult in his lands. He claims to be the son and heir of the Great Spirit itself.

The Dying Worlds

Dying Worlds are already doomed to be destroyed when they appear in the Void. It is not known why entire planets appear out of nowhere, but it is said that the Undying Lands are located in a hellish plane of cosmos, where all forsaken worlds are brought to be consumed by the Shadows. Gods can do little to protect them, for they already expend a majority of their powers to protect the Undying Lands. These worlds have mysterious portals, allowing travel between them and the Undying Lands, although the Shadows are unable to use them. Because these worlds contain vital resources and ancient relics, campaigns are launched from the Undying Lands in order to recover everything valuable. Whenever a new world appears, its distance from the Undying Lands defines the amount of influence of the gods and the Shadows. These belts of influence (typo) are called Gods' Reach, Dusk and Darkness

-The Gods' Reach-

Three factions, Balance, Light and Darkness fight for the dominance of these worlds. The goal for Light and Darkness is to defeat the opposing sides and gather as many relics as possible in order to impress their god, while the goal for Balance is to ensure there is no clear victor between Light and Darkness and that neither side gathers any relics. So the Knights of Tren Krom are out of luck when it comes to relics? Or can they take stuff for themselves? These worlds are still rather barren. All must also fight against the Shadows, when they begin appearing during autumn. The worlds tend to have three portals, and loot is shared evenly between the faction, regardless of feudal rank.

-The Dusk-

Worlds that appear here are too far away for gods to have any influence there. On these more plentiful worlds Kingdoms fight for treasures. The Shadows begin appearing in the summer. Elemental powers may be used for creating matter like water or plantlife. These worlds usually have four portals, and the loot is shared in the following way: King gets 50% of the loot, Dukes get 35% (divided equally between them) and Counts get 15% (divided equally between them). If there are no Counts, then it's divided like this: Kings get 75% and Dukes 25%. Kings without vassals aren't allowed to fight on these worlds.

-The Darkness-

The most gorgeous and fertile worlds form here, far away from the Undying Lands. These worlds are rich with minerals and covered in ruins. But the gods forbid Kings from travelling here, and only their daring vassals can travel. These worlds quickly wither away, and the Shadows will always be there. Strange weather will soon begin to occur, causing all kinds of horrifying things on any visitors. The landscapes and nature will twist into something truly horrifying. Elemental powers may be used for creation here as well and in addition they are much more potent. Five portals exist on these worlds, and every character can keep what they want to keep or share with others.
Existing Kingdoms:
You may make your new characters vassals of the lieges of these realms, or create a new kingdom.

Realm name: Kingdom of Jala These are in the Undying Lands, right? "Realm" might be slightly misleading; it could suggest that it's a universe of its own
King name: Takanuva (Profile will be on the discussion thread if this RPG gets approved)
Vassals: None yet
Bodyguards: None yet
King's holding: Brightkeep, Castle
Patron God: Takanuva
Motto: Light in the Darkness
Symbol/coat-of-arms: A blazing golden sun on a white background

_________________________________________________
RULES AND GAMEPLAY
Character Creation

-Species-
Custom species are allowed, and will be approved if they aren't overpowered.
Toa
The legends tell that the First Knight was a Toa, a member of a race known for their elemental powers and sacred masks. It is told that this First Knight used to be a Matoran, who was so faithful to all gods that she ascended and became the first Toa and protector of the common people. Because of this myth, Toa are often seen as ascended forms of Matoran. Many tales about heroic Knights have Toa as the main characters, and the peasantry tends to respect Toa more than other species.
May have one elemental power and one mask.
Skakdi
The brutish Skakdi are seen as strong, brave but selfish warriors. They tend to use violence as a solution to problems more often than other Knight species and many of them disrespect decorum and modesty. They are also seen as the less faithful servants of the gods, and many folk stories feature them as the fallen heroes, who are corrupted by the forces of evil. There are Skakdi who do not exhibit these traits, but unfortunately must learn to live with this prejudice against their race.
One elemental power (can only be used in conjunction with another Skakdi) and one vision power.
Vortixx
Tall and intelligent, Vortixx often excel in the House of Learning and learn better than other students. They however lack any special powers, forcing them to rely on their intelligence in difficult situations. Vortixx also tend to be very deceptive and cunning, and there's a common saying "Trusting a Vortixx is about as wise as jumping off a cilff" among the Knights and the peasantry. They are skilled tinkers and engineers, and sometimes wear modified masks of power.
May have one mask and one extra skill.
Makuta
Makuta are strange beings and one of the more powerful Knight species. They have begun to appear only recently, and the records in the Great Library have no mention of their race. They wield the power of Shadow, which has caused most Matoran associate the Makuta with the destructive Shadows. They don't have a unified look and often have an ominous appearance. Because of these reasons, the peasantry is afraid of them. They are usually arrogant and confident. Nobody knows why the gods have started to create them, although some priests say it's part of Karzahni's plan to ally with the Shadows, or possibly to use their own powers against them.
Not made out of antidermis. Shadow power and one additional elemental power.
Zyglak
While Skakdi are regarded as brutish, amphibious Zyglak are regarded as savage and bestial. They are strong and tend to enjoy combat more than other species. Most interestingly, they are immune to elemental powers and are able to breathe underwater. Their elemental resistance also makes them less vulnerable against the Shadows. Despite their nature Zyglak are perfectly capable of learning languages and other intellectual skills. Matoran respect them, more out of fear than admiration.
Amphibious, resistance to elemental powers.
Matoran
The most common species in the Undying Lands. They aren't Knights, but commoners. Matoran may be crafters, merchants, guards, priests, travellers, bards etc. but true military and administrative tasks are always left to the Knights. They are rather short compared to the Knight species, often half the size of a Toa, and lack any special powers. They wear powerless masks that keep them alive. No Matoran has ever been a lord, and only the bravest of them travel to the Dying Worlds.
No special items or powers.
NOTE: Your character's skin might be made out of protodermis, but protosteel can cut through it like iron can cut through human skin. As such it's treated like human skin when it comes to deflecting attacks. This means that your character needs armour in order to survive.
-Power List-
Some Knights have godly powers that help them fight against barbarians, Shadows and other foes. Due to the influence of gods, elemental powers may not be used for converting elemental energy into matter. A Toa of Plantlife can't create plants, a Toa of Iron can't create metal, Toa of Water can't create water etc. Uh... Wow. The elements got nerfed hard. Doesn't this mean that Fire, Air, Lightning, Sonics, and Psionics have a big advantage over the other elements? (Air because air is everywhere, fire and lightning because they're closer to energy than matter, sonics because all sound is vibrating atoms and molecules anyways, and psionics on virtue of being entirely mental?) All of the other elements lost a large portion of their utility (Toa creating their element is very common in other RPGs; this restriction might take time for players to get used to). Limited control of temperature, weather or air is a common ability. This means that, for example, a Toa of Fire can still drastically increase temperature while a Toa of Sound can vibrate atoms and thus create sound. Dying Worlds far away from the Undying Lands allow creation of matter.
Toa
Elemental: Fire, Air, Earth, Water, Stone, Ice, Sonics, Plantlife, Lightning, Psionics and Iron (note: iron means control of all metals, but you can't control the bodies of others with this.) Any reason why Plasma, Magnetism, and Gravity got removed? Is balancing a bigger issue in this RPG than in others?
Skakdi
Elemental: See above, Vision powers: Heat Vision (it's not laser vision!), Impact Vision, Infrared Vision, Thermal Vision, Telescopic Vision and X-ray Vision.

Makuta
Unique elemental: Fear, Poison, Shattering, Disintegration, Hunger, Anger, Weather Control, Elasticity, Illusion, Teleportation, Quick Healing, Lightning, Sonics, Fire resistance, Ice resistance, Shapeshifting, Plantlife, Cyclone, Chameleon, Accuracy, Power Scream, Dodge, Silence, Adaptation, Slow, Confusion and Sleep.
-Gear-

List of Masks Toa or Vortixx can have
Mask of Shielding, Mask of Strength, Mask of Levitation, Mask of Speed, Mask of Water Breathing, Mask of Night Vision, Mask of Translation (ruins have stuff written in foreign languages), Mask of Diminishment, Mask of Fate, Mask of Flight, Mask of Accuracy, Mask of Spirit, Mask of Summoning, Mask of Sonar, Mask of Reanimation and Mask of Sensory Aptitude.

Only one mask allowed to have in the beginning. You may acquire more later from ruins or dead players with the Looting skill. A Toa without a Mask will be dizzy while a Vortixx will be perfectly fine. Items you can have in the beginning include various trinkets, tools and objects that aren't too technologically advanced. Most items from Bionicle canon are relics, and thus not available by default. Metal and bamboo disks are fine though. Trading items with other characters and NPCs in Magna's Golden Market is allowed and recommended. Gold and gems can be used as currency. NPC traders will be played by the GM. You may only have weapons and armour made out of protosteel in the beginning. Please take note that when looting armour from a member of different species, you'll be unable to use some of them because of different body sizes and shapes. Here's how it goes:

Toa: may use Zyglak armour
Vortixx: may use Makuta armour
Skakdi: none, because they're so spiky
Makuta: may use Vortixx armour
Zyglak: may use Toa armour
Matoran: none, because they're so short

-Skills-

Skills can be used for many special things. Players may pay others with items in exchange for desired services. For example, Tahu wants to heal his wounds quickly, so he gives some gold to Gali, who has the Healing skill. Knights have Close Combat or Ranged Combat skills By default. Matoran characters do not have access to Knight skills. Custom skills are allowed, as well as those that don't provide any bonuses but help building the character.
Common skills
Healing
You know much about the anatomy of all the different species and are familiar with a large variety of diseases and injuries that you have learned to cure. Allows you to effectively heal the injuries of yourself and others.
Looting
You do not shun to touch the dead. You know how to remove masks, where people hide their valuables and when it is clear that they are still alive. You may take one item from a single dead character during a Dying Worlds campaign.
Priesthood
You have spent much of your life in a temple, studying sacred tomes and praying to your chosen god. Able to ask one of the gods (read: the GM) for help in dire situations. They may or may not help, depending on their mood.
Scouting
You have been in several Dying Worlds before, and know a great deal about various environments. You know how to reach the highest point, where ruins are usually located and how to adapt to the stranger Dying Worlds. Allows you to know the locations of three sites when you arrive on a Dying World.
Guarding
You're a guardsman: attentive, somewhat skilled in close combat and disciplined. If you're a Matoran, this allows you to become a bodyguard for a King or join the caravans to the Dying Worlds as a guard. A useless skill for Knights.
Knight skills
Close Combat
Allows you to fight effectively up close and personal with weapons like swords, maces or axes. Free
default skill for Knights.
Ranged Combat
Allows you to fight effectively from a distance with weapons like bows, crossbows or disk launchers. Free default skill for Knights.
Intrigue
You are a cunning person, who can easily lie to anyone without them noticing it and able to coinvince them that you're right. Allows the attempt of fabricating claims, which in return allows you to challenge your liege or other lord to a duel or a melee and usurp their title if you're victorious. (see the Duels and Melees section below) Tell a GM that you want to fabricate a claim, and they will tell you if you succeeded.
Lore
You've read a lot of books. You're very wise and intelligent. As a result you may know (read: a GM may tell you) how some of the more exotic relics can be used.
Training
You're a wise mentor, having taught many Knights combat skills. This allows you to have two additional bodyguards.
Hunting
You're an experienced hunter, having slain many animals on the Dying Worlds. If a dangerous beast is about to attack you or your group, you'll receive a warning from the GM.
Treasure hunting
After years of absorbing existing knowledge about ruins and searching them for relics, you've learned where treasures can usually be found. You're likely to notice special treasures that others are unable to find when searching ruins.

Gameplay
-Locations for interaction-

In the Undying Lands, characters can either be in a holding, in the countryside or in Magna. In the Dying Worlds players must work together or fight each other in order to find treasures. Long distance communication is done by giving letters to Matoran messengers, who will carry them to desired locations.
-The Dying Worlds campaigns-

Sometimes entire worlds appear in the void beyond the Undying Lands. Travel to these bountiful worlds is possible through portals that somehow already exist on the surface. They are connected to numerous existing portals in the Undying Lands. Once there, the Knights will set up a base camp and scout the nearby area. A rough overview of the surface area will be given to the characters, but actual sites must be located. After a site has been found, it must be explored. Next (unless they've found something.. unpleasant) they may continue searching other ruins, look for enemies to attack or protect Matoran workers who arrive to gather resources. Once all sites have been scavenged, which shouldn't happen until winter, the world will be abandoned and left for the Shadows to consume. All dead players will be resurrected by the gods in the Undying Lands if their bodies are brought back and taken to the House of Life. Shadows may consume unprotected dead bodies. It is not known what happens to them, but they are presumed dead afterwards. Found treasure will be shared(see above for details). If there's an uneven amount of treasure, the highest ranking feudal lords take away as much treasure as necessary until the number of remaining treasure is even. Every world is different, with various biomes, animals, plants and landscapes. Every world is doomed to die, as well.
-Locations on Dying Worlds-
Once you arrive on a Dying World, you will go looking for sites. Here's a list of them, what treasures they contain and what they're used for. Sites can be very different. A forest might be a sparse collection of small trees and bushes, a massive forest with high trees reaching for the sky or a dense forest full of dead, leafless trees.
Ruins
Contain relics, that are special items, and items made out of valuable materials. May have aggressive beings inside. May contain traps.
Mines
Contain excavated gold ore/gems. Gold and gems can be used as currency. Might contain relics or aggressive beings
Forests
Runs may be found amongst the trees. Forests are often very dangerous and inhabited by beasts. A beast's body may yield valuable materials, like ivory or pelts.
Lakes and Seas
Large areas are sometimes filled with great amounts of water. Beneath the surface ruins may be found, that are only accessible to Knights with water breathing abilities.
Rivers
Streams of water that are often too wide, deep or difficult to cross. Can be crossed by a bridge and by characters with flight ability. Characters with water breathing ability shouldn't take the risk of swimming if the river is dangerous.

-Feudalism-
Every character must be either a King with vassals or a Duke/Count with a liege. Well, they don't have to be, but alone they'll be unprotected and vulnerable. Every vassal has sworn to give loot to the King and to follow their orders. In return, every King has sworn to protect their vassals and help them in times of need. In order for a King to gain the holding of another King, they may claim their title and challenge them to a duel or a melee, but must have a just cause for it. Kings can vassalize other Kings and their vassals or take their holding by defeating them in a duel or a melee. Some Kings might be more tyrannical and leave their vassals unprotected. Challenges against these Kings who treat their vassals poorly is considered fair. A claim on a title may be fabricated by a character with the Intrigue skill. This claim says that the Knight isn't the righteous owner of his or her holding: he or she was a vassal who unrightfully usurped the title a long time ago, or wasn't the lawful heir and has no right to be a lord. This is a just cause for a challenge, even if the claim isn't truthful. All duel or melee challenges must be approved by a GM. Matoran peasants must always obey their superiors.
-Inheritance-
Every Knight can nominate an heir. An heir will gain the holding, items and wealth if the Knight perishes in the Dying Worlds. This means that a Knight can have multiple holdings. Landless Knights may arrive in the court of an owner of multiple castles, and ask to receive one and become a vassal. You can only upgrade your primary holding if you have multiple ones. The primary holding is your first holding.

-Duels and Melees-
Because Knights aren't very numerous and Matoran aren't warriors Any reason why none of the Knights are training Matoran to be mook infantry? Is it forbidden by the Gods?, differences between Knights are resolved by duels or melees instead of wars. A duel is a battle between two combatants, while in a melee there are multiple participants on both sides. Duels and melees often take place in the courtyard of a castle. The winner of a duel gains the title of the loser: If, for example, Duke Tahu defeats King Kopaka in a duel, Tahu will become the new King and gain Kopaka's castle, bodyguards and all his vassals. Kopaka is now without anything, while Tahu has two castles, bodyguards and additional vassals. What's enforcing this? And what's stopping either party from launching a surprise attack with their bodyguards and eliminating their opponent through treacherous means? Group fights are similar, but there both sides may choose their vassals or bodyguards to assist them in battle. Both groups must have even numbers. The person who is challenged into a duel may choose a champion from amongst their vassals or bodyguards to fight in their stead. People may die in duels and melees, but it's very rare and they may be resurrected in the House of Life. Injuries and wounds are more common.

-Bodyguards-
Every feudal lord may have other Knights work as bodyguards for them. These Knights don't own castles, but still own small amounts of land, possibly with a village or two. Bodyguards are considered minor vassals. Their liege provides them equipment, housing and food and in return they protect and fight for their liege. Sometimes lords recruit Rogue Knights to work for them, although it's not very common. Bodyguards may either be NPCs or Player characters, and there's a set limit for their amount depending on the size of the castle. These NPCs are played like proper characters but can be killed without their player's consent, although they should still be challenging to kill. All other rules that apply on player characters apply on them. Lost bodyguards may be replaced.

-Holdings-
Knights very commonly own personal castles. These are mostly status symbols and storages for their belongings, but are fortified because of possible bandit, barbarian or peasant attacks. A castle has several tiers, each with its own buildings. Each castle tier is associated with a feudal rank, larger ones being more heavily fortified and able to sustain larger bodyguard groups. Even if your rank degrades, the castle tier remains the same.

Tier 1
Motte and bailey

All Counts have these. A small wooden keep on a hill surrounded by a fence.

-Wooden Keep (You live here. May contain things like kitchens, bedrooms, dining rooms, offices and libraries)
-Wooden fence (to keep angry Matoran peasants away)
-Tiny warehouse (for storing items. Max. 5) What sorts of items? Examples?
-Small Well and reservoir (Enough to last for a 3 IRL day siege)
-Tiny barracks (Enough room for a single bodyguard)

Tier 2
Small Fort

Owned by Dukes. Similar to a motte and bailey, small forts have keeps built out of stone and larger buildings.

-Stone Keep
-Wooden wall
-Wooden gate
-Well and reservoir (Enough water to last for a 6 IRL day siege)
-Warehouse (Max. 10 items)
-Barracks (Enough room for 3 bodyguards)

Tier 3
Castle

Owned by Kings. A proper castle with stone fortifications and buildings.

-Sizeable stone Keep
-Stone Wall
-Reinforced wooden gate
-Large well and reservoir (Enough to last for a 12 IRL day siege)
-Expansive warehouse (Max. 20 items)
-Expanded barracks (Enough room for 6 bodyguards)

Tier 4
Grand Fortress

Owned by Emperors, who don't exist yet

-Magnificent Keep
-Massive walls
-Impervious metal gate
-Gigantic Warehouse (Max. 40 items)
-Very large well and reservoir (Enough to last for a 24 IRL day siege)
-Mighty barracks (Enough room for 12 bodyguards)
______________________________________________
Send a profile to be approved before you start playing. Here's a template, with unnecessary sections marked with *

Name: What is your character called?
Species: You may choose between Toa, Skakdi, Vortixx, Makuta, Zyglak, Matoran or custom.
Powers: Toa can have one elemental power. Skakdi can have one elemental power they can use with another Skakdi and a vision power. Makuta can have Shadow and one additional elemental power. Zyglak are amphibious and are resistant to elemental powers. Matoran and Vortixx are powerless.
Skills: Your character may choose a skill they've mastered over years of training. In addition, every Knight character has Close combat or Ranged Combat skill by default. Vortixx can have an extra skill. So, Toa, Skakdi and Makuta can have CC or RC + extra skill and Vortixx can have CC or RC + two extra skills while Matoran can just have one Common skill. Get it?
Personality: How do they react to different situations? What do they value in life? What habits do they have? Answers to questions like these are included here. You may mention their gender as well, although there are no biological genders. Love is always considered platonic, because Knights and Matoran are unable to reproduce.
*Biography: What has happened to your character in the past? Knights usually spend a decade in the House of Learning, and have often joined several campaigns in the past.
Appearance: What does your character look like? Remember that characters should look like other members of your species. Mutants aren't a thing, because Knights are created by gods.
*Deity: if your character doesn't worship a god, they can't be a vassal of a religious person and they can't fight in Gods' Reach. Choose between Artakha, Karzahni or Tren Krom. Your character may worship Takanuva as well, but he's not a god. Or is he?
*Liege and Vassals: If your character is a Knight, they may be either a King, Duke or a Count. A king can have three dukes as vassals while a duke can have three counts. A King can name his or her own realm and give it a motto and a symbol/coat-of-arms. Vassals are their liege's allies, but can usurp their titles if a character with Intrigue skill fabricates a claim for them, if they have a fair cause for a duel or if they already have the skill. After they defeat the King in combat, they will lose their holding and title while the usurper becomes a King. Vassals don't gain as much loot as their liege does. If your character doesn't have a liege and has no vassals then they independant. Your other personal characters can't be each other's vassals or lieges.
*Bodyguards: A Knight may have a retinue of warrior to protect them. They may be either NPCs or characters of other players. Include short profiles here listing their name, species, appearance and combat skill, and if there's a player character, it's preferable that you include a link to their profile. A Count may have a single bodyguard, a Duke may have three and a King may have six.
*Holding: If you're a feudal lord, you can have a holding. The description may be very detailed and the castle must be named. Include the tier of your castle.
*Heir: If you have nominated an heir, tell their name here. This character will gain your character's holding, items, vassals and wealth if he or she dies permanently in the Dying Worlds.
Gear: Weapons, armour and special items like relics, treasure and masks. In the beginning you may have protosteel gear. If you have Close Combat skill, you may start out with a close combat weapon and a metal shield. If you have Ranged Combat skill, you may start out with a ranged weapon. NO GUNS, not even muskets. Gunpowder isn't a thing. Any particular reason why? Would any of the variants of fantasy gun control apply here? No tech beyond European 14th century, please. Special items found in ruins may be more advanced, including items from Bionicle canon.
Might be best to merge this with the section on approved powers and species above.

General Rules
1. All BZP rules apply. Think of the children.
2. Use "IC:" in your post to show when your character is speaking/doing things, and use "OoC:" when it's you who's saying something.
3. Your characters aren't gods. They have very few supernatural powers, many flaws and they make mistakes. Follow the laws of logic and science (powers are an exception). Don't dodge every hit, and bleed if you're wounded. Pain is a thing as well. Your character should die when they should die. You cannot win, but you also cannot lose. And don't worry, you can nominate your other personal character as heir, although that character can't be their vassal or liege.
4. No auto-hitting. The other player will decide whether or not the attack was effective.
5. No controlling of other characters without permission. This is called bunnying and is widely hated.
6. No Meta-gaming. Your character knows what he or she knows, not what you know. They probably don't know what oxygen is, and they don't know any cultural references from our world. Some similar idioms and memes are acceptable, as long as they make sense in the context of the game.
7. NO INSTA-ITEMS OR RESOURCES. Like I said before, your characters aren't gods. Get resources and items through legitimate means., like trading or exploring ruins. Stealing from other characters isn't allowed either, unless your character has the Looting skill (see above). Destruction of other characters' items isn't allowed without permission from the player of the said character.
8. Characters cannot be played as until their profiles are approved
9. No Expies. I don't want to see a biomechanical Eddard Stark, thank you.
10. No NPC armies under your service. You may only have a Limited amount of bodyguard NPCs. Most other NPCs will be played by a GM.
Most important rule of all: Respect other players and the GM(s).

Wasn't sure where to out this note: there's next to no info on the specifics of the Shadows. What do they look like? What are their powers? Stuff like that would be helpful to know.

Daniel the Finlander · May 1, 2015

Wow, I'm not sure if I can handle this much good feedback! Thanks a lot!

There's TOO MUCH STUFF!

Yeah you're right. My notes about what things I needed to do with Knightfall included a lot of "ADD MOAR STUFF" instead of "condense the information and improve the organization and structure". Will grab an axe and get rid of stuff, as well as cleaning up the remains.

Make a map

Well, I've tried to keep the geography as simple as possible so I wouldn't need to do this. Why? Because I am terrible at drawing on a computer and my camera is poor, so I can't really take pictures. Still, I might add horrible maps drawn with Paint for some locations.

Sentence X doesn' make sense/I don't understand this/Elaborate on stuff

Yeah I'll try to make things clearer and explain them better.

Elemental powers need improvement

Sigh. I know that, and I've been struggling with it. I can't have many elements creating much, because why are campaigns to the Dying Worlds necessary if Knights can just create endless amounts of water, food, metal etc.? On the other hand elemental powers are weak and boring without the ability to create stuff. It's a problem I'm struggling with.

As for gravity and magnetism, I thought they were too powerful. I'll add them back in and nerf them in some way. Plasma is too simiar to fire, but that's just my opinion, so I'll add that back in.

What are the Shadows?

The original idea was to make them mysterious and include as little information about them as possible. Now when everything else about this RPG is presented with a lot of extensive details, this just seems weird and stupid. I'll do something about it.

Nato G · May 1, 2015

Sigh. I know that, and I've been struggling with it. I can't have many elements creating much, because why are campaigns to the Dying Worlds necessary if Knights can just create endless amounts of water, food, metal etc.? On the other hand elemental powers are weak and boring without the ability to create stuff. It's a problem I'm struggling with.

There's probably a very, very simple solution to this: just say that there aren't enough Knights to support everyone, meaning the kingdoms have no choice but to gather more resources from the Dying Worlds.

Constructelf · May 1, 2015

@re: elements: my issue was more that it seemed that the elements had been unevenly nerfed, with stuff like sonics and psionics not being touched at all, while elements like iron and plant control were severely punished. A blanket nerf would probably be better than the specific restriction of "can't make matter" because some elements don't deal with matter in the first place.

Edited May 1, 2015 by One-Eyed Construct

Daniel the Finlander · May 1, 2015

After some thinking I've come to the conclusion that there's two different paths I can take with Knightfall:

1. Abandon the whole "Dying Worlds" thing and focus on feudal struggles. This would mean rewriting the lore, but keeping most of the rules and mechanics intact and possibly adding some new ones.

2. Keep the Dying Worlds and from now on just focus on polishing the game

I'm not sure which one to take, because I like both options. But more importantly I want to read what others think about this.

**Voltex** · May 1, 2015

I would personally be more interested in the feudal struggles, since I don't believe that is something any of the RPGs are doing at the moment.

Not Quite Dead · May 1, 2015

You could take the BZPRPG route and just say the Toa are cheap, weaker knockoffs, so that providing endless resources would be impossible.

Daniel the Finlander · May 3, 2015

Knightfall updated to 0.5! I've decided to keep the Dying Worlds, because I think they make this unique, and removing them would require too much rewriting of the lore. And I completely forgot that Kentoku Archipelago is full of feudal struggles already.

I've removed all limits from skills and powers, giving more freedom to the players. I did this because Bionishock infinte showed me how imaginative people can be when creating characters. I've cleaned up the structure and fixed some errors you two pointed out, but I didn't remove any lore. Why? Because i can't bring myself to murder my darlings. The issue with elements creating endless amount of resources has been fixed, and the Dying Worlds will have a lot more variety. Some cleaning will probably still need to be done.

And to answer the "no gunpowder weapons" question I missed, I might add them, but guns aren't as dramatic in my opinion (yes, a variant of fantasy gun control applies here) and are problematic when it comes to autohits and combat in general.

Edited May 3, 2015 by Daniel the Finlander

25K Now! · May 4, 2015

The Age of Sail was plenty dramatic.

Naota Takizawa · May 4, 2015

I got an idea for an RPG. I had thought about Matoran being taught how to use kanohi by a toa in some kind of school on the island of Metru Nui during Teridax's reign. The setting takes place after Teridax gains control of the Matoran Universe and sends an army of rahkshi to occupy Metru Nui, along with Ahkmou, who is now a toa of stone and wears a kanohi kraahkan molded in the shape of his old kanohi. While most of the matoran managed to escape to the archives, the turaga were captured and placed in the coliseum while the Ta and Po Matoran were captured and restricted to their respective Metrus, with the stone matoran being forced to wear infected kanohi and carve statues of Teridax. I was thinking about what kanohi could be used and I was wondering whether or not to allow the Kanohi Mahiki to be used since it got banned in the offical Bionicle RPG.

Edited May 4, 2015 by Liuth

Daniel the Finlander · May 4, 2015

So what would the Matoran do then? Form a resistance group or something?

Edited May 4, 2015 by Daniel the Finlander

Prowl Nightwolf · May 4, 2015

Sounds about right. Seems to have an Egyptian slaves type feel to it.

silo · May 4, 2015

Wouldn't it just be easier for Ahkmou to be a Shadow Toa?

Naota Takizawa · May 5, 2015

The matoran do form a resistance group.

I prefer Ahkmou to be a toa of stone, I just imagine him using his powers of stone mixed with some shadows from the kanohi Kraahkan.

Wouldn't it just be easier for Ahkmou to be a Shadow Toa?

I prefer Ahkmou to be a toa of stone, but I won't reject your opinion.

So what would the Matoran do then? Form a resistance group or something?

Yep, the matoran form a resistance group and their goal is to get rid of Toa Ahkmou.

**Eyru** · May 6, 2015

This sounds like it might be better as an Epic than an RPG.

Makuta Miras · May 6, 2015

GMed by Miras the Omniscient, Sharkydane and Chumpu.

1.0: History/Current Events
The universe is dying.
When Makuta Teridax struck down Mata Nui 60,000 years ago, the fractures created by the crash flooded many domes, rendering only the two domes containing Metru Nui, Xia, Zakaz and Stelt inhabitable. Venturing into the flooded domes- which contain many strange creatures from Aqua Magna- means certain death. Access to these domes is blocked by closed Sea Gates.
Metru Nui has long since fallen into ruin, the sleeping Matoran inhabitants locked away beneath the earth whilst Rahi rampage across the surface. It is a land of strange monsters and perpetual night, but the archipelago triumvirate is still holding onto life in the remnants of a dying universe.
When the Great Spirit Robot crash-landed on Aqua Magna, an underwater volcanic eruption, combined with the shockwaves of power from Makuta Teridax's transformation tore a hole in the robot's hull, one which now leaves the bottom of the Silver Sea between the three islands open to the outside world.
A century ago, the seabed shifted a little, and the robot’s shoulder dropped off a ridge, crushing a coral reef.
With this breach opened to the outside world now, natives of Aqua Magna have begun entering the Matoran Universe- Kaiju.
Monstrous creatures, the smallest 50 bio (225 feet/68.5 metres) tall, the beasts come swimming through the gap, laying waste to many of the islands' triumphs.
The first few beasts were exterminated by Xia's weapons, used on beasts contained by the few Toa left, but now the Kaiju, having wiped out the Toa due to them being the first line of defence, are becoming bigger, faster and stronger, meaning that the only weapons able to stop them...
Are the Jaegers.
Initially designed by the Vortixx, Jaegers were soon rolled out to the other islands with special adaptations to each species' capabilities and powers.
Expeditionary teams are also being sent out to try and find a way out of the Matoran Universe other than the breach. Now, it's your choice: Are you a Kaiju, fighting to prove yourself and gain territory, are you a Jaeger pilot, fighting to buy time for others to save your world, or are you an explorer, searching for the exit from your world?

2.0: Battles
If players aren’t otherwise occupied, every few weeks a staff-led Kaiju or Jaeger attack will be launched, with a goal unique to that attack most of the time; sometimes, if we run out of ideas, the purpose of the attack will be to just kill as many enemies as possible.
These attacks will be announced OOC to everyone and IC to the attacking force on the Saturday before the attack so that the relevant army has time to prepare IC and OOC. Feel free to launch attacks on your own between them.

3.0: Expeditions
One of the primary goals at the moment is to find a way out of the MU. Most expeditions are currently heading to Metru Nui to find a way out due to it having the light holes in the dome which the island’s rulers hypothesise to be easier to break through than the regular MU skin. PCs will be leading expeditions- you don’t need GM approval to go- but Dane, Ultimo and I will be posting to guide these quests along.

4.0: Locations

Xia:

The City:
Xia's islandwide city has somewhat dwindled now, keeping close to the skirts of the Mountain and away from the shores for fear of Kaiju. What is left of the city is bright and hopeful, shining steel buildings towering far up into the sky. The streets are soundly paved, and, all in all, Xia is a good place to live.

Xia Shatterdome:
Xia's Shatterdome is, like the city, a tall, elegant affair. Instead of the unpainted iron walls favoured by Stelt, the interior features bare but functional corridors and rooms with clean walls, ceilings and floors; to put it simply, the Xia Shatterdome is a wholesome place. The Jaeger bays are much like the other Shatterdomes, large, cavernous rooms with asphalt floors and Jaegers surrounded by networks of gantries. For reference, think of something like this.

Stelt:

The City:
Where Xia is no longer dirty and polluted, Stelt has become even more so. Many of the arenas which used to characterise the island are gone now, replaced with Jaeger factories. Despite these new jobs, many of the population still turn to crime for a living, preying on unsuspecting beings, murdering and stealing from them. The sky is always gloomy, filled with smoke, but the cordon of Jaegers around the coastline facing into the wider ocean break through the dusk every now and then, their watchful gazes never relenting. As Stelt is attacked the most often by Kaiju, the entire island has been placed under martial law, intended to keep the population working despite the attacks. Half of all attacks are aimed at Stelt.

Stelt Shatterdome:
Stelt's Shatterdome is a drab, hardened building, built many bio down into the ground, intended to shield the Jaegers in their bays from Kaiju attacks. The walls are bare metal, rusted around the edges, and the floors have a tendency to be somewhat less than pleasant underfoot. The Jaegers bays are identical to Xia's, except with fewer gantries and more utilitarian Jaegers.

Artahka HQ:
Buried far beneath the surface of Stelt, the comfortable living quarters and large rooms contrasting vastly to the rest of the island, is the HQ for the group known as Artakha, devoted to capturing Kaiju and using them as weapons against other Kaiju via mind control. There are many holding bays for Kaiju (read: as many as the plot needs) which as-of-yet have not been reconditioned, containing many nasty traps designed to keep them contained until indoctrination has occurred. Long story short, no Kaiju are getting out of there any time soon.

Zakaz:

The City:
The city on Zakaz, centred around the lake in the middle, is a low, concrete settlement, built quickly in the days after the civil war ended. The streets are unpaved, dusty roads, and what sewers there are are in a constant state of disrepair, blocked and rat-infested. The lake has a number of floating houses built out onto it, designed for easier access to the deposits of metal at its bottom that are used for Jaeger manufacture.

Zakaz Shatterdome:
Built on the southern shores, Zakaz' Shatterdome mimics the city, being built out of concrete and with little hygiene inside the structure. It has a notably smaller number of Jaegers than the other two islands, tantamount to the anger issues that plague the Skakdi, meaning that none are able to pilot a Jaeger without another to help.

Metru Nui
In the aftermath of the Great Cataclysm, Metru Nui has become a deadened, silent place. The Matoran are locked in their pods beneath the Coliseum, and the lights in the dome have gone out. A small fracture in the skin of the Great Spirit Robot around its head has caused Aqua Magna seawater to begin trickling into the dome. Many of the low-lying areas in the dome have been flooded completely, and Archives creatures stalk the empty streets and prowl the dark waters.

The Kaiju Hive
Created entirely out of a coral reef with holes burrowed through it by Kaiju, the Kaiju Hive is an impressive sight to behold, towering above other natural landforms in the Aqua Magnan ocean. The Kaiju inside are divided into ranks, with the weakest, lowest ranking Kaiju living at the uppermost borders of the extensive tunnel structure inside the reef, and the largest, most powerful Kaiju living deep within the structure. The waters around it are a too-bright blue, contaminated by Kaiju blood, making sure that any creatures powerful enough to face the Kaiju stay well away from the hive. There are many entrances to the hive, although they are more common near the top. At the very bottom of the formation there is just one, gaping entrance designed to facilitate the entrances and exits of the Kaiju Alpha, Sharky. The Kaiju Hive is about 40 kio (34 miles/54.8km) away from the crash site of the MU.

5.0: Jaegers
Jaegers almost make up the Matoran Universe inhabitants' entire army, the massive mechanical robots armed and armoured to fight Kaiju. There are three different marks (MKs) of Jaegers- MK I, MK II AND MK III. Permission to create MK IV Jaegers will be given out on a case-by-case basis as a reward for good playing. MK Vs, being highly advanced and therefore difficult and expensive to produce, can only be owned by GM characters, who have obtained them via sheer rank, or via ShEnAnAgInS. Each MK of Jaeger has a different set of weapons and powers, and Jaegers will be able to level up within their MK, granting them more powerful versions of their initial abilities. The Vortixx have also been able to create giant Kanohi for the Jaegers, granting them some specialised powers. Skakdi are able to channel their elemental powers through their Jaegers, although the machinery required takes the space of the Jaeger’s Kanohi. The offensively oriented Kanohi can only be activated in short bursts due to power supply issues. Passive Kanohi can stay active for longer. The list of allowable Kanohi is as follows:

Active Kanohi:
Hau- temporarily (One minute) makes the Jaeger impervious to physical attacks.
Miru- allows the Jaeger one strong leap per charge.
Pakari- increases the Jaeger’s arm strength enough for one super punch per charge.
Kakama- gives the Jaeger a short burst of speed.
Pehkui- halves the Jaeger’s size for a minute, although due to its mechanical nature it does not preserve the strength.
Crast- allows the deflection of attacks for thirty seconds per charge.
Mask of Growth- makes the Jaeger 1.5x larger for a minute, although its offensive strength remains the same.

Passive Kanohi:
Arthron- gives the Jaeger basic sonar systems.
Ruru- improves the Jaeger’s visual systems.
Calix- increases the Jaeger’s agility.
Mask of Elemental Energy- increases the Jaeger's efficiency, allowing it to store extra power to then be used for stronger attacks.
Kiril- allows the Jaeger's outer hull to repair itself slowly. When I'm talking slowly, I mean slow as in a 5-metre gash taking about 1 hour to heal. It isn't Wolverine-level.

Custom Kanohi are allowed.

MK Is:
One pilot required.
Standard weaponry and abilities: Stealth-based abilities, rocket fists.
MK Is are smaller, quick, scouts with melee-based loadouts.

Level 1 MK Is begin with a stealth system that turns the Jaeger mostly invisible, working like a Volitak; it leaves a faint outline of the mech which can be seen in daylight.
Level 2 MK Is gain a system that mutes any external sounds they make in addition to their first ability.
Level 3 MK Is have the ability to become fully invisible, Huna-style. Although they are generally unspottable, those who are sharp of eye may notice the slight distortions they make.

MK IIs:
One pilot required.
Standard weaponry and abilities: Ranged weapons, physically-based weapon-enhancing abilities.

Level 1: MK IIs begin with an ability that allows them to increase the rate of fire of any automatic weapons they have, like Cordak Blasters or plasmacasters. The shots fired this way aren’t as powerful as normal.
Level 2: At level 2, MK IIs gain another ability that increases the power of their shots, allowing for a single more damaging shot before the ability must be activated again.
Level 3: Upon upgrading to level 3, MK IIs are fitted with a trio of small scout drones. These A.I electronic scouts can be used to survey the area for a MK II and to help line up shots that are exceedingly far away. The drones can communicate with the Jaeger from up to 500 bio (2250 feet/685 metres) away.

MK IIs are ranged versions of MK Is which use weaponry such as plasmacasters, Cordak Blasters and the occasional Zamor Launcher. These are used as tactical support for MK Is a lot of the time.

MK IIIs:
Two pilots required: each shares with movement and combat duties.
Standard weaponry and abilities: Heavy plasmacasters for close combat, melee-based abilities.

Level 1: MK IIIs are fitted with more durable armour from their time of construction, although the weight of this extra armour slows down the Jaeger.
Level 2: At level 2, MK IIIs gain a single piece of armouring that is nearly indestructible; this could be a shield, a section of the chestplate, or a shoulder pauldron. Due to the necessity of having instruments inside the conn-pod, the extra armour cannot be placed on it.
Level 3: At level 3, MK IIIs gain the ability to go into an overdrive mode for a few minutes; when activated, this increases the response speed and general fluidity of the Jaeger, at the expense of not being able to use its weapons, only its fists.

MK IIIs usually have a range of weaponry both melee and ranged, but they are slow, large and need two pilots so that the beings' minds aren't overwhelmed by the strain of piloting it. MK IIIs are deployed as commanders for attack forces, aiming to take down large, powerful Category 3 Kaiju using their large arsenals.

MK IVs:
Number of pilots required varies widely between units.
Standard weaponry: Again, varies between units.
MK IVs are rare, being expensive to construct but very valuable on the battlefield. Characteristics vary wildly between MK IV units, as they were designed to have modular sections in order to respond effectively to a number of different situations without needing to build Jaegers with completely new chassis. Some MK IVs’ characteristics include one example having a third arm, another being quadrupedal, and another having something akin to a large plasmacaster instead of a head.
NOTE: MK IVS MAY ONLY BE CREATED WITH EXPRESS PERMISSION FROM MYSELF, DANE OR ULTIMO.
By no means are you limited to these rough weapon specs, but if you have too many weapons on your Jaeger or ones that don't fit the MK, the profile won't be approved.

6.0: Drift technology
Drift technology is tech developed by the Vortixx that is able to link two or more beings’ minds together, creating a Kaita mind out of the personalities and memories. Drift technology was initially developed in order to make the use of MK III Jaegers feasible, but was eventually rolled out to the Skakdi as well, using it to encourage trust and empathy in them, which helped to end the wars on Zakaz. When characters are drifting, each player involved in the drift can only control one character that is drifting, for the sake of fairness. When the beings’ minds merge to form a Kaita mind, the players whose characters are involved need to decide among themselves what to do, and they share the responsibility of posting as the Kaita mind- for example, if my character was drifting with Dane’s, the two would form a Kaita mind with their combined personalities and memories, but we would have to decide between us what to do, and both of us could post as the Kaita mind if we decided who would be posting and what our linked characters would be doing.
Skakdi controlling Jaegers must drift when piloting, no matter what MK of Jaeger they are using, and characters of differing species cannot drift together, as the mental differences are too great.

7.0: Kaiju
Kaiju are giant, fully organic amphibious monsters from Aqua Magna. Kaiju blood, also known as Kaiju Blue, corrodes and rusts away many known materials, making it a potent weapon against the islands. It was this that prompted the development of plasma-based weapons, as they cauterise wounds instantly. Kaiju have near-unique adaptations which become more advanced as the categories increase. These adaptations include, but are not limited to:

Chameleon skin- does what it says on the packet. Beware, though, this doesn't give you full invisibility.
Electric skin- gives an electric shock able to knock out a being when the skin is touched. This can mess up a Jaeger’s electrical systems temporarily.

Elemental Breath- the Kaiju is able to breath out a stream of one of six elements, Fire, Ice, Acid (Excess Kaiju Blue), Air, Water and Lightning. The lightning produced by Kaiju is not conducted by water.
Sonic booms- These Kaiju can produce a sonic boom through their mouths- think of it like a big shockwave.

EMP Bursts- possessed exclusively by Category 3 Kaiju and above, these bursts are able to disable or stun a Jaeger for a few minutes. They are powerful enough to destroy MK II scout drones.
Elasticity- temporarily allows the Kaiju’s body to stretch like a rubber band.
Mental blasts- these blasts are pure psychic energy. They can be used to stun and, in extremely severe cases, kill Jaeger pilots.

Custom adaptations are allowed.

All Kaiju PCs start off at Category 1, with a non-offensive skin-based ability; this can be one of the two shown, or it can be custom.
When one of the GMs decide that the Kaiju is good enough to move up a category, their player will be notified via PM. When a Kaiju moves up a category, they gain size and another adaptation; the ones available to Category 2s are Elemental Breath abilities and sonic booms. Those available to Category 3s are EMP bursts, Elasticity and Mental Blasts. When a Kaiju upgrades to Category 4, they go through a violent metamorphosis where they gain a unique ability and occasionally some even obtain crazy new physiology like extra limbs or another head.
Like with the Jaegers, I want to see lots of unique adaptations so that we can make this game as interesting as possible.

8.0: Staff Characters

Miras:
Name: Arkie
Species: Ko-Matoran
Gender: Female
Arkie is tall and wiry, with a cybernetic left arm. Her white and silver armour is scorched, scratched and dented from a lifetime of fighting Kaiju. Grim and determined, this Matoran has been in command of just about every Jaeger in the inhabited universe since she lost her arm.
Jaeger: Jatikko
Jaeger nickname: Jatikko
MK: V- MK V Jaegers are very rare, meaning no players will be allowed to have them. The reason for this is that MK Vs are very advanced, and therefore take a lot of time and resources to build. Since the smaller universe has been using the current resources for about 60,000 years, the aim is to conserve them in order to build other Jaegers.
Kanohi: Faxon (Works like normal)
Weaponry: Twin plasma cannons on the shoulders, capable of taking down a Category 5 Kaiju; Rocket fists; swords stored in the arms, able to cut through a Kaiju’s hide with ease; “The Godkiller”- a giant hammer.
Appearance: Jatikko is loosely built, its general structure being reminiscent of Arkie with long, powerful limbs. The Jaeger is painted white and blue.

Dane:
Name: “Sharky”
Species: Kaiju
Gender: (Alpha) Male
Category: 5
The Alpha of the Kaiju, Sharky has a combination of Ice and Lightning breath, which he seems to vary depending on the situation. His teeth also leak Kaiju blue when they bite. His hide can electrify at will, and he has amazing swimming capabilities. He is very strong. Sharky is VERY dominant, he doesn't like his authority challenged. He's literally a way overgrown Knifehead. He is massive, and has claws extending from each of his arms on each side. He is a dark blue, with green energy patterns. His tail is covered with spikes. He has a large shark like fin on his back, which lights up when he uses his elemental breath, and he has long claws on each of his arms.

Ultimo:
Name: The Carpathian
Gender: Male
Species: Vo-Matoran
Powers/Gear: Indoctrination. Allows him to subtly influence a person over a long period of time to his own way of thinking. The longer and closer the contact, the more complete this indoctrination becomes.
Personality: Charming, and suave, The Carpathian has a way with people that is hard to explain. Driven to his cause, and rather close-minded, he is generally unwilling to see other methods before his own.
Bio: Not much is known about the Carpathian before his rise to power over a group known as Artahka. Only his closest advisers even know where he acquired his strange indoctrination power. After the fall of the Toa, he and his group became devoted not to killing Kaiju, but capturing and controlling them to fight other Kaiju. (If you wish to have an indoctrinated Kaiju, PM one of the GMs) The Carpathian and Artahka are secretly in control of Stelt's leadership.
Jaeger: Illusive Trap

Jaeger Nickname: Illusive Trap
MK: V
Weaponry: Chest mounted Stasis field generator, able to contain even a Cat 5 Kaiju. Retractable electric batons, designed to incapacitate. Electrically charged fists.
Appearance: Large and simply built, Trap has no paint, being a simple burnished nickel colour, with blue glowing lights.
Kanohi: Avsa (Allows Trap to drain energy from Kaiju, charging itself while tiring the Kaiju)

9.0: NPCs

Name: Inikhi
Species: Skakdi
Inikhi is the current ruler of Zakaz, elected from the warlords of the island. Although, like all Skakdi, he is quite violent, Inikhi prefers to survey situations from a distance, keeping out of most matters.

Name: Vofosu
Species: Vortixx
Gender: Female
Powers/Gear: A plasma sword strapped to her thigh.
Personality: Determined and hardened, Vofosu isn’t like the stereotypical Vortixx, she is determined to win the war, for the better of all the Matoran Universe
Bio: Quickly rose to power after being one of the top fighters. She became the overall commander of the Vortixx forces, ruling over Xia.
Appearance: She’s a Vortixx. Whaddaya think?

Name: Nokoro
Species: Vortixx
One of the pioneers in drift technology and the whole Jaeger concept, Nokoro is the head of the Xia Shatterdome. She is slightly more airheaded than most, being an excellent scientist but not that good in most other matters.

Name: Pavohi
Species: Matoran
Pavohi is the leader of the Stelt Shatterdome. After a life of work in Stelt's hard conditions, he has become sarcastic and grumpy, the type of person who'll help you if you ask, but you don't particularly want to ask them because they aren't a very nice person.

Name: Jiraka
Species: Skakdi
Jiraka is angry and violent, the typical Skakdi. Despite this, he is particularly clever, making him Inikhi's ideal choice for leading the Shatterdome on Zakaz.

10.0: Profile Creation

Character profile:

Name:
Species: Steltian Elite, Vortixx, Matoran, Kaiju, or Skakdi. Custom species are allowed, although it is up to the GMs to decide whether or not to approve them.
Gender: This is pretty self-explanatory; male female, both, neither, whatever.
(if Kaiju)Category: You can only have up to Cat 3. Cat 4s are only allowed with express permission from a GM.
(if Kaiju)Adaptations: Look above for all the guidelines on that.
Powers/Gear: Your character’s possessions and powers. Please take note that rifles and such will be unapproved. Pistols are more approvable.
Personality: (Self explanatory)
Bio: Your character’s life story.
Appearance: (Self explanatory)
Jaeger:

Jaeger profile:

Jaeger nickname:
MK: Look above for guidelines on that. MKs I-III are allowable without permission, although you will need permission for MK IVs.
Kanohi: See above in 5.0.
Weaponry: Try not to get too OP with those. Pick your weapons accordingly with your class.
Pilot(s): All the people who pilot this Jaeger.
Appearance: What does your Jaeger look like? As a quick guideline, all MK I-III Jaegers are humanoid.

RULES:

1. All BZP rules apply.
2. Use the tag “IC” at the beginning of a post to indicate writing that advances the story. Use “OOC” to indicate what doesn't, like short player-to-player comments which aren't long enough for the discussion topic.
3. No god-modding.
4. No bunnying- controlling other players’ characters- without their permission or, if it comes to it, the staff’s.
5. Metagaming is a big no-no. This means using information gathered as a player IC- an example could be, if you are in a fight, you look at the profile of the character you’re fighting, discover their weaknesses, and then have your character magically find out your opponent’s weaknesses. So don’t do it.
6. No insta-items- aka, items that appear out of thin air. You can’t have your Jaeger run out of rounds for its machine gun and then fire the machine gun again in the next post, for example.
7. All profiles must be approved by a GM before the characters in them can be played.

Edited May 13, 2015 by Miras the Omniscient

Daniel the Finlander · May 6, 2015

Why do Arkie and the Carpathian have Mk V mechas? Are those typos? If not, there should be some mention in the lore about MK Vs.

The UltimoScorp · May 6, 2015

I'm not in charge of lore, but I imagine it's something something limited supplies, something something GM characters with special powers, something something hand waving.

Probably shoyld wait for Miras for anything official on that note, though.

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