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The Official RPG Planning Topic


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1080 replies to this topic

#561 Offline The Otter

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Posted Dec 08 2012 - 10:16 AM

Y'know, the original version of this made it so that the stuff that is allowed is all the prototype stuff that was being expiremented with.

 

I dunno if it's still all the "Prototype Toa and Rahkshi" stuff, but that's what it was before.


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#562 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Dec 08 2012 - 10:53 AM

 

Hey, it's this one again.

 

Where's my credit? :P

 

---

 

Didn't make it through the copying. I'll put it back in.

 

 

Are you two (Lannister and Zarayna) planning to enter these into the contest?

---

I am.

 

 

Secondly, the species/power section, or, more specificly, the difficulty of reading it. This was my main concern, seeing as I really had trouble realizing I had stopped reading the Earth power section, and now I was onto the colors, or that I had went from the colors of Water to Air's description. The italicization of elements was helpful, and thus the Toa section wasn't too difficult, but the Rahkshi section I had trouble seeing where powers started and where the ended. A bit more italiczation, perhaps some bolding or even spacing, and this problem would be gone, so it really isn't that hard to fix, or that big of a problem, I just thought it made for disruptive reading.

---

Agreed. It'll be easy to fix. To the backstory problem you listed as well, also agreed.

 

 

If I may ask, where are the other dozens of Toa/Rahkshi powers? It seems rather arbitrary (or to be honest, incredibly so) to limit a character's potential powers without any plot-involved reason behind it.

---

I cut out some of the Toa powers; iron especially, because of how much they would ruin the feel in some ways. Specifically, the caches would have a lot less worth if a toa could make a powerless mask for himself, thus doubling his power. Originally I didn't even have elemental powers; this was my compromise

 

And also, I don't think prototype toa and rahkshi would have such a wide array of powers.

 

 

 

Y'know, the original version of this made it so that the stuff that is allowed is all the prototype stuff that was being expiremented with.

 

I dunno if it's still all the "Prototype Toa and Rahkshi" stuff, but that's what it was before.

 

---

It is.

 

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I'll have to edit this a bit.

 

EDITED.


Edited by Zarayna, Dec 08 2012 - 11:08 AM.

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#563 Offline CaptainLepidus

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Posted Dec 08 2012 - 12:18 PM

Still no comments on mine?  :( Maybe I need a new idea...


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Legacy of the Great Beings - Continuing the story of BIONICLE from where the serials left off.


#564 Offline Meta-Mind

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Posted Dec 08 2012 - 03:54 PM

 

If I may ask, where are the other dozens of Toa/Rahkshi powers? It seems rather arbitrary (or to be honest, incredibly so) to limit a character's potential powers without any plot-involved reason behind it.

---I cut out some of the Toa powers; iron especially, because of how much they would ruin the feel in some ways. Specifically, the caches would have a lot less worth if a toa could make a powerless mask for himself, thus doubling his power. Originally I didn't even have elemental powers; this was my compromise And also, I don't think prototype toa and rahkshi would have such a wide array of powers.

 

 

Well, I really doubt that Iron could make real Kanohi - remember that even masks without powers have to be crafted from Kanoka Disks in the Matoran Universe, so it can be assumed they have some power component.  It'd be like a Matoran trying to use a piece of scrap metal to save themselves from a coma.  I also don't notice how this applies to Lightning, Magnetism, Psionics, Plasma, Gravity, Light, or Shadow (albeit I can see having no Toa of Light/Shadow, since the Great Beings made none of either when they made the MU).  Nor does it apply to just about any Rahkshi power, since they're so limited. As to your second point: I don't think they wouldn't.  If anything, the Great Beings' prototypes would probably have more powers (an excuse to add Acid/Crystal/other popular fan elements, perhaps?) due to some being tested but not making the final cut.  Now, if you'd like, I could make a list of what I recommend (specifically, keeping all Toa elements except for possibly Light/Shadow, and removing certain Rahkshi powers which are silly or overlap too much with Toa powers) for these, and you could consider my suggestions based on that.  I understand it's hard to balance such powers as Iron and Magnetism, especially in a world where everyone's made of metal, but when those elements are already canonically established, there's no real reason not to make them useable.

 

EDIT: Another thing I noticed: I would make caches non-random in some cases, such as if a player has a (reasonable) request for a Kanohi for character development (for example, forcing a straight-laced Toa to take something like a Jutlin).  Alternately, overarching plot reasons.

 

 

Still no comments on mine?  :( Maybe I need a new idea...

I'll check yours out shortly, if you like.


Edited by Meta-Mind, Dec 08 2012 - 04:32 PM.

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#565 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 08 2012 - 06:39 PM

Still not a fan of Testing Conflict, I'll be honest. There are just too many logical flaws. 

 

 

 

all that is rational is unstable, and therefore unstable must stabilize unstable

 

This makes no sense for a start. You want to stabilise something you use something thats stable. Otherwise what you have is two dangerously unstable things and that can only blow up in your face (perhaps literally).

Also, they know how to stabilise the power core for the Mata Nui body, I understand thats what Energised Protodermis was for. And if you're going to say they haven't got EP yet, what's causing the hostilities in Spherus Magna?

 

 

 

 

Then, as the Great Beings saw their time running shorter and shorter as hostility built up more and more between the tribes of Spherus Magna, they abandoned their initial idea of a gradual test, which would have taken hundreds of years. They released hordes of the first Rahkshi, first into the region of stone, then into the others. Taken completely by surprised, the Toa were swept away by the invading hordes of Rahkshi

 

Given that they don't seem to have doing doing anything in the hundreds of years they gave for the civilisations to grow its no wonder their tests took so long :P 

Also, what exactly is this test supposed to achieve? That the Rahkshi can beat the Toa? It would show that if you had kept things on equal numbers/even footing and not showered thousands of Rahkshi everywhere. That the Rahkshi could police the Toa (sort of like the Vahki would the Matoran)? You've shown they can't do that because their hunting instinct is too violent, they'll just rampage anywhere their let loose. That the Toa can survive hardships? You're invalidating that through interference, bringing in the caches and Makuta and such. If you want to test how the Toa would operate when they have these powers, restart the experiment with powered Toa. If you want to test their ingenuity, stop giving them powers!

Also, correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't their some time constraint here? If so why are you taking the one little cave system where you've got Toa set up and just flooding it with loads of Rahkshi? Its the equivalent of pouring bleach into a petri dish of bacteria. Now if you want to test how they'd do over longer times you have to start all over again, costing you even more time.

 

 

 

However, a hope has recently surfaced with the news of Kanohi masks of power, seemingly the only thing that can help the Toa hold out and restore stability

 

Gee, its almost like trying to use something unstable to stabilise something else unstable was a really bad idea :D

And if the GBs are genuinely worried about the Toa regaining control, and the cache's are their way of showing it, why don't they just shut the whole thing down since it was their experiment in the first place!

 

 

 

 

Disintegration, Fragmentation, Poison, Chameleon, Heat Vision, Hunger, Density Control, and Silence are the only allowed Rahkshi powers.

I feel I should point out that in the species list you have Shapeshifting, Illusion and Elasticity rather than Hunger, Density and Silence. 

On the subject of Rahkshi, what exactly is their motivation here? With Toa you have them trying to reclaim and rebuild their society, but the Rahkshi just...smash stuff? Even with the caches half of it is just "go there to destroy it". They just seem...shallow. They don't even have a faction that would suggest higher goals.

 

 

Sorry to run you through these again Z-man, but the little niggles really irritate me


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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#566 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Dec 08 2012 - 09:58 PM

 

This makes no sense for a start. You want to stabilise something you use something thats stable. Otherwise what you have is two dangerously unstable things and that can only blow up in your face (perhaps literally).

Also, they know how to stabilise the power core for the Mata Nui body, I understand thats what Energised Protodermis was for. And if you're going to say they haven't got EP yet, what's causing the hostilities in Spherus Magna?

 

 

The point was; I intended here that the GBs were consciously developing a rational race. Realizing it was rational, and therefore had a certain amount instability due to free choice, they developed a failsafe. In the manner of their usual failsafes (Marendar, the Baterra) it too was rather unstable in some ways.

 

 

Also, what exactly is this test supposed to achieve? That the Rahkshi can beat the Toa? It would show that if you had kept things on equal numbers/even footing and not showered thousands of Rahkshi everywhere. That the Rahkshi could police the Toa (sort of like the Vahki would the Matoran)? You've shown they can't do that because their hunting instinct is too violent, they'll just rampage anywhere their let loose.

 

 

I thought our last discussion answered the point of the rahkshi's actions.

 

Anyways, it's kinda getting like I'm looking at your paragraphs and they're separating into sentences which separate into words which separate into letters which separate into pixels which I don't understand. Well, not that bad, but kinda.

 

 

 

I feel I should point out that in the species list you have Shapeshifting, Illusion and Elasticity rather than Hunger, Density and Silence. 

On the subject of Rahkshi, what exactly is their motivation here? With Toa you have them trying to reclaim and rebuild their society, but the Rahkshi just...smash stuff? Even with the caches half of it is just "go there to destroy it". They just seem...shallow. They don't even have a faction that would suggest higher goals.

 

 

I know about the rahkshi powers, going to have to edit those.

 

I will cede that the weak point is the purpose of the Rahkshi. beyond vague ideas I really have no ideas. Thanks for pointing that out.


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#567 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 09 2012 - 06:30 AM

The point was; I intended here that the GBs were consciously developing a rational race. Realizing it was rational, and therefore had a certain amount instability due to free choice, they developed a failsafe. In the manner of their usual failsafes (Marendar, the Baterra) it too was rather unstable in some ways.

 

But if you're worried a sentient race will be too unstable, why create as your failsafe another sentient race? Why not have something more akin to the Bohrok with no real thinking mind, since its a thinking mind thats the problem? Or just have the ecosystem shut down and trap the problem in a cold, dark wasteland? 

 

 

 

 

I thought our last discussion answered the point of the rahkshi's actions.

 

No it did not. You couldn't give decent answers to ay of the questions I asked, which is why I'm still asking them. This is supposed to be an experiment, but its not being conducted as such. Either the goals of the experiment have been reached and it should be closed down, or they're rendering everything they want to test invalid by interfering

 

 

 

 

Anyways, it's kinda getting like I'm looking at your paragraphs and they're separating into sentences which separate into words which separate into letters which separate into pixels which I don't understand. Well, not that bad, but kinda.

Sounds like you're tired. Have a nap then come back :P

Seriously though, I'm not exactly being hard to understand here. I'm even using examples so what I'm trying to say will get across. If you're having trouble understanding then I don't think its my fault


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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#568 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Dec 09 2012 - 10:02 AM

Sounds like you're tired. Have a nap then come back :P

Seriously though, I'm not exactly being hard to understand here. I'm even using examples so what I'm trying to say will get across. If you're having trouble understanding then I don't think its my fault

 

 

I had a good night's sleep. It worked. :P

 

 

No it did not. You couldn't give decent answers to ay of the questions I asked, which is why I'm still asking them. This is supposed to be an experiment, but its not being conducted as such. Either the goals of the experiment have been reached and it should be closed down, or they're rendering everything they want to test invalid by interfering

 

Then I get the feeling we've debated them to the point where there is no point continuing.

 

 

But if you're worried a sentient race will be too unstable, why create as your failsafe another sentient race? Why not have something more akin to the Bohrok with no real thinking mind, since its a thinking mind thats the problem? Or just have the ecosystem shut down and trap the problem in a cold, dark wasteland?

 

Even the Bohrok had some intelligence; I guess here they just hadn't learned from their mistakes enough. :P


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#569 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 09 2012 - 10:55 AM

I had a good night's sleep. It worked.  :P

 

Yaaay! :D

 

 

 

 

Even the Bohrok had some intelligence; I guess here they just hadn't learned from their mistakes enough.

 

Not much. They had to be directed by something at all times, be it Krana, Bahrag or the Matoran.


Edited by Lord of Adders Black, Dec 09 2012 - 10:55 AM.

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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#570 Online One-Eyed Construct

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Posted Dec 09 2012 - 11:00 AM

Adders has a good point: what exactly are the goals of the gbs and the rahkshi? Where was this discussion?And you didn't reply to Meta mind

Edited by Constructman, Dec 09 2012 - 11:01 AM.

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#571 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Dec 09 2012 - 11:10 AM

Adders has a good point: what exactly are the goals of the gbs and the rahkshi? Where was this discussion?

 

Page 12, I believe. And yes, the goals of the Rahkshi need a little ironing out.

 

 

And you didn't reply to Meta mind

I did, just by PM, not topic; his fault for PMing me. :P

 

My argument, at any rate was that the GBs had only six elements to begin with; they modified sand to be more applicable, and added sound and air. More elements could be put in, but they won't be starting ones.


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#572 Offline Ice cream JL

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Posted Dec 09 2012 - 10:33 PM

Guys, I would like a little bit of reviewing on Beneath Their Eyes. My first Rpg too.

 

Apart from 'Add a map', what can I do to improve it?


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#573 Offline The Otter

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Posted Dec 10 2012 - 12:52 AM

Get somebody to review it in the reviews topic, and stop begging for reviews, probably.

 

Anyways, Zar: Need more explanation on how Kraata work when they control the Rahkshi. I wanna see your explanation for that turned into a gameplay mechanic.


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#574 Online Zakaro

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Posted Dec 10 2012 - 07:26 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Here's the RPG I've been working on.[/color][/font]

 

Posted Image

(Credit to Shattered Mask Productions for the banner)

 

[font="'courier new', courier, monospace;"]Frozen[/font]

 

Xia in Chaos!

The island of Xia, home to the Vortixx and major weapon maker of the Universe, has fallen into chaos when a huge snowstorm appeared out of midair atop the Mountain, flash-freezing the entire island and almost completely stopping all weapon manufacturing! The Xian Council, who preside over Xia, have sent out a call to all adventurers, promising a ‘great reward’ for the stopping of this freak storm.

 

The Skakdi raises an eyebrow after finishing the notice, posted on a tree in the middle of the village. ‘This would be a great way to get on the Vortixx’s good side,’ the being thinks, even as his thoughts are echoed in different ways by others across the Matoran Universe. Many will board ships, of air or sea, trying to get to this island and get this ‘great reward.’ Most do not give a second thought of the troubles they’ll face, or if there’s a deeper reason for this snowstorm. No matter their reasons, they all head for the frozen isle of Xia, where the weather isn’t the only thing against them.

 

 

Preface

 

“Remember, there are always things that come before other things, no matter who you are.”

 

Welcome to Frozen, where you will head into the drastically changed isle of Xia, either attempting to achieve the goal of stopping the snowstorm or just following your own path. Beware, though. There are many backstabbing beings here, ones who will not stop to grab a thrown dagger out of your back just to keep—or get—a slight lead.

 

History

 

"History? We're not Onu-Matoran, we don't have an entire zone of our island dedicated to history. Not that we don't keep track."

 

It has been around 500 years since the Great Cataclysm, and Xia couldn't be happier. Due to the Dark Hunter/Brotherhood of Makuta War, they have had constant business with both sides, with the Hunters providing a bit more than the Brotherhood. Vortixx have been making regular trips up the Mountain to prove their worth, with the Council keeping track of who was going up and who had come down. Other than that, not much has happened on Xia, until the snowstorm hit.

 

Locations

 

“Ah, Xia. The most polluted rock in the entire Universe. Bring a filter cloth, you’re gonna need it.”

 

The Isle of Xia has changed since most beings that were here once were last there. For one, the sky is half-visible and the air is somewhat breathable, due to most factories being shut down because of snow clogging the smokestacks, or the molten metal is running out. The streets, however, are filled with greenish-brown snow that begins to burn unprotected feet after a while, simply from Mountain run-off and general smog-filled snow. Few buildings remain active, most becoming sleeping quarters until they can re-activate the forges and assembly lines. Major locations include:

 

The Council Tower: Exactly what it’s named for, the Tower is the headquarters of the Xian Alliance. Reward-seekers must register here first before leaving on their quest, so that the Council can give the reward out to the rightful being. Located in the Northwestern end of the island, but a factory or two north of The Docks.

 

The Docks: The arrival zone for most of the reward-seekers and any other arrivals to Xia. A gang has formed there, much to the dissaproval of the Council, and are demanding payment to pass out of the area. Located in the West end of the island.

 

Markets of the Reward: Named for the fact that it sprung up for the one perpose of providing reward-seekers with the gear they need to tackle the Mountain, this marketplace is filled with snowshoes, acid resisting cream, and just about anything else you’d need for this quest. However, be savvy when buying, for there are many rip-offs and overpricing is rampant. Located in the South of Xia.

 

Dark Hunter Base: Everyone knows that there’s a Base for the Dark Hunters somewhere on the island, but no-one but Hunters and the Council know the exact location. Thought to be in the Southeast.

 

The Mountain: The main landmark of Xia, the point where the snowstorm swirls out from, The Mountain is where all reward-seekers end up eventually. And currently, they all end up in it. It has been growing at an alarming rate due to the increase in food, and the Council has set up a crew to daily shoot a missle at one side of it in an attempt to slow its growth. So far, that hasn’t proven effective.

 

The Mountain itself is more dangerous than ever: the slopes are slippery, the cold numbs every part of adventurers bodies, the acidic grass has transferred its qualities to the snow, burning and freezing at the same time, and yes, the rocks themselves still try to eat you. Though, one upside may be that the rumors of ‘the sky raining fire’ are either not true, or simply not happening because of the weather. Located in the center of Xia.

 

Testing Areas: The deep South of the island is barren, marked with many burns, grooves, and other damages. Since it was used for weapon testing in the past, beings are advised not to go there without proper equipment. The only allure for this location is the prospect of finding some prototype weapons to use, or perhaps some evidence for what’s really going on on the Mountain.

 

 

Factions:

 

“On Xia, there’s not many different people working against one another. You’re either with the Council, or running.”

 

With Xia being filled with Vortixx, beings known to be among the most backstabbing of spieces, only seconded by the Skakdi, one would think Xia would be a political mess. Not so. The Xian Council presides over Xia, regulating taxes and keeping people from blowing each other up. The business world, however, is a different story… Factions include:

 

The Xian Council: Main faction in control of Xia, they are the glue that keeps the island from devestating itself daily. Led by the actual Council, which is made of business leaders, they regulate Xia and keep it going smoothly.They are based in the Council Tower, and are the ones offering the reward. Subfaction: Xian Vahki Enforecment Force.

 

Xian Vahki Enforcement Force: Often called the XVEF for short, they are the police of Xia. Made up of only the best backstabbers, business people and strong workers, they somewhat enforce the law. Mainly when there’s a chance of major destruction.

 

Dark Hunters: The shadowy group that will do any job for a price, the Dark Hunters remain a force to not reckon with at all, if you value your life. Their base on Xia’s location is not known, but those needing something done can contact them through the Council.

 

Dock Deckers: The gang that has sprung up around the Docks due to inactivity of the factories and the prospect of profit from getting beings to pay a ‘toll’ to pass in an out of the Docks. Their name is derived from the fact that when someone doesn’t pay, they punch the money out of you until they’re satisfied. Their base is somewhere in the Docks.

 

Reward-Seekers: Not trully a faction in any regard but the fact that they share the same goal, this is the name given to anyone going for the ‘great reward’ offered by the Council. As such, they have no base.

 

 

Profiles

 

“Sure, you can try to sneak onto Xia. But know that no matter how you get there, once you’re on Xia, they will find out everything about you.”

 

To create your character, simply fill out form, and post in Disscussion Topic for approval. Once approved, put in Profiles Topic.

 

Name: (Bionicle-y. No Bob, or Lewa332.)

Spieces, Gender: (Self explainitory. No Makuta, Custom allowed.)

Faction: (Simple enough. Council is NPC only, XVEF is Vortixx only, Dock Deckers is mainly Vortixx, only different spieces if have a good reason.)

Equipment: (Weapons, Masks, Books, Bags, if they have it on them, put it here.) (No Legendary Masks, no Olmak, Avohkii, Kraahkan. Customs are allowed.)

Powers/Skills/Abilities: (Mask Power here, as well as elemental powers if any, any other powers. No Light or Shadow, Custom are allowed)

Appearance: (25 words or a picture.)

Biography: (50 words. It’s not hard, people.)

Personality: (50 words again. Still not hard.)

 

Blank Profile

 

Name:

Spieces, Gender:

Faction:

Equipment:

Powers/Skills/Abilities:

Appearance:

Biography:

Personality:

 

 

Rules

 

“On Xia, you better know what goes, and what doesn’t. The XVEF will get you if you don’t.”

 

Alright, down to the nitty-gritty of the RPG.

 

1. Be respectful. Basically, respect the GM, Moderators, and other players, and don’t God-moderator or bunny.

 

2. Use IC and OOC. OOC only posts go in the Discussion Topic. Also, if you don’t use any other distinguishing things (color or text style) please announce who it is you’re posting as. Where they are is also nice.

 

3. Keep your posts readable. That means, to the best of your ability, use good grammer, spelling, don’t post in a invisible color or really bright one, etc.

 

4. Keep the humor down, and romance even more so. This isn’t the Comedy forum. Besides, remember that your characters are constantly living in an enviroment that could kill them quickly. Also, nothing more than kissing. At the absolute most. Nothing too suggestive, either.

 

5. All BZP rules apply. Every. Single. One. (For this forum, for the forums in general, all the same.

 

6. Post your profiles in the Disscussion Topic for approval. Let’s keep the profiles topic nice and neat, please.

 

7. Please announce, in OOC or the Discusion Topic, when you are attempting a Mountain climb. Maybe make it bold, too. That way, we (the staff) know to control the Mountain.

 

8. And most of all, Have fun! It’s the entire point of the RPG, after all. Players who follow the rules may end up with rewards...

 

There’s 3 levels of rule breaking, described below.

 

Level 1: So, you’ve had a report of God-Moding, or maybe a bunnying report (After being told to stop). No biggie. You get a PM sent to you, or a post in the Discussion Topic addressed to you.

 

Level 2: After repeated instances of God-Moding or bunnying, or just plain being constantly rude to staff and others, you get yourself a level 2. The offending character (If there is one) gets hurt/killed (depending upon seriousity of it) and you get a PM sent to you. Possiblity of a suspension from the RPG.

 

Level 3: You’ve just plain been this rude, God-Moding troll that no-one wants to interact with because of your constant rule-breaking. You get all characters killed and are expelled from the RPG.

 

GM: Zakaro

 

Moderators: Constructman, Toa Kaithas

 

Have fun and enjoy.

 

[color=rgb(0,128,0);][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Comments?[/color][/font]

[color=rgb(128,0,128);][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]Zakaro[/color][/font]


Edited by Bounce goes Zakaro!, Dec 15 2012 - 03:18 PM.

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#575 Offline Ice cream JL

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Posted Dec 10 2012 - 08:19 PM

Ohai Zakaro.

 

You're not supposed to put it here, I believe.


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#576 Offline Meta-Mind

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Posted Dec 10 2012 - 09:35 PM

Alright, I'll bite.  One thing I noticed right off the bat:

(No Legendary Masks, no unique masks, no Tyrna)

Assuming you mean custom masks and Tryna there... why not?  Some custom masks meld very well with their user's personality, and banning the Tryna is just arbitrary.


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BZPRPG TIME, where you could have one post talk about dinner, and the next about lunch.

Time is beyond relative here.

There's no reason not to put lasers in the palms of planet-sized robots. In fact, if I had my own planet-sized robot, palm lasers would be one of my first upgrades. It's good for self-defense if you're attacked by something big.

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#577 Online Zakaro

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 03:19 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]@JL: I know, I just felt it would be better to work it past here first before sending to Submissions. That way, there's a few less flaws to work through once it's there.[/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]@Meta-Mind: By 'Unique' I was more going for the masks that are one-of-a-kind, like the Olmak, Avohkii, Kraahkan, those type. Customs would be fine. I'll head back and change that. [/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]As for why no Tyrna, it was more-so that mask has just this huge potential to be OP. I guess I could revise that. (Re-animated corpse limit)[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Anything else?[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(128,0,128);]Zakaro[/color][/font]


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#578 Offline Grantaire

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 03:40 PM

Well the mask of time duplication is just as bad. Besides, zombies don't have powers, so...


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#579 Offline Meta-Mind

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 04:28 PM

[color=#008000;]@JL: I know, I just felt it would be better to work it past here first before sending to Submissions. That way, there's a few less flaws to work through once it's there.[/color] [color=#008000;]@Meta-Mind: By 'Unique' I was more going for the masks that are one-of-a-kind, like the Olmak, Avohkii, Kraahkan, those type. Customs would be fine. I'll head back and change that. [/color] [color=#008000;]As for why no Tyrna, it was more-so that mask has just this huge potential to be OP. I guess I could revise that. (Re-animated corpse limit)[/color][color=#008000;]Anything else?[/color][color=#800080;]Zakaro[/color]

Saying the Tryna is overpowered is like saying the Mahiki is overpowered - I don't understand why a character being able to take control of dead bodies is a big deal.If anything, you should be banning the 2009 Makuta masks, Avsa and Mohtrek especially. Those are far more overpowered than a mere Tryna.

Edited by Meta-Mind, Dec 11 2012 - 04:31 PM.

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BZPRPG TIME, where you could have one post talk about dinner, and the next about lunch.

Time is beyond relative here.

There's no reason not to put lasers in the palms of planet-sized robots. In fact, if I had my own planet-sized robot, palm lasers would be one of my first upgrades. It's good for self-defense if you're attacked by something big.

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#580 Online Zakaro

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 04:41 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]@Zarayna: True. (Issue trully addressed below)[/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]@Meta-Mind: ...[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Ya know. [/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]You're quite right. [/color][/font]

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Ya know, I think I'll just make it 'Judged on a case-by-case basis.'[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Unless anyone has a better idea.[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(128,0,128);]Zakaro[/color][/font]


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#581 Offline CaptainLepidus

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 04:43 PM

A review would be very helpful to me at this stage, if anyone wants to take the time  ^_^ (My entry can be found at the end of the submissions topic.) I would help you guys, but I've never had an RPG win this contest, so I'm afraid I don't have the experience to properly judge what works and what doesn't.


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Legacy of the Great Beings - Continuing the story of BIONICLE from where the serials left off.


#582 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 05:05 PM

The Tryna isn't overpowered. It can only reanimate dead bodies if there are dead bodies conveniently nearby, it can't just summon a zombie army from nowhere. So if you're not in a recent battlefield you're going to be limited in how many bodies you get, and are probably going to have to wait for them to dig themselves out the ground


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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#583 Online Zakaro

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 05:12 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Alright, I think I get the picture by now. :P Tyrna not OP, got it. :P Already edited.[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Anything other than that? [/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(128,0,128);]Zakaro[/color][/font]


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#584 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Dec 11 2012 - 10:31 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Alright, I think I get the picture by now. :P Tyrna not OP, got it. :P Already edited.[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]Anything other than that? [/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(128,0,128);]Zakaro[/color][/font]

 

I think the power to breathe is overpowered because it gives you oxygen and when you get oxygen your brain functions and because your brain is functioning you have the potential to perform an action and since performing an action doesn't specify that it's not an action which would be godmodding, which is why the Mask of Accuracy is outlawed because it's an excuse to autohit, I say all players for all RPGs must stop breathing for at least three minutes in order to play.

 

Your sight is the first to go.

 

Really, pretty much all bans save a few (Botars teleportation, Krahkas shapeshift+power copy, Legendary Elements) are kind of ridiculous. Basically, it's not OP that has anything to do with it in most case. If you think there's a mask that's too strong, or you just don't want, ban it. We'll all complain, of course, but live with it. More so, just live on a case by case and look at the total of all powers, Zakaro. Psychic powers with intangibility? Nobody can harm you, you have mental powers that can harm everyone.

 

As for what I think of the RPG... you could flesh out the backstory a bit more, I think. Tell a bit more about the history of Xia according to you in recent times. Develop the setting more. Maybe show a few groups who have plans to stop the snowstorm, and what their methods are. Give a few leads so we can start to follow after the plot. Throw in some side-plots as well.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#585 Online Zakaro

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Posted Dec 12 2012 - 05:50 PM

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]@Lev: First, thanks for the (slightly sarcastic) advise. :)[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(0,128,0);]EDIT: How's this? The section below would fit between the Preface and Locations.[/color][/font]

 

[color=rgb(0,0,0);][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]History[/color][/font]

 

[color=rgb(0,0,0);][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]"History? We're not Onu-Matoran, we don't have an entire zone of our island dedicated to history."[/color][/font]

 

[color=rgb(0,0,0);][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]It has been around 500 years since the Great Cataclysm, and Xia couldn't be happier. Due to the Dark Hunter/Brotherhood of Makuta War, they have had constant business with both sides, with the Hunters providing a bit more than the Brotherhood. Vortixx have been making regular trips up the Mountain to prove their worth, with the Council keeping track of who was going up and who had come down. Other than that, not much has happened on Xia, until the snowstorm hit.[/color][/font]

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(128,0,128);]Zakaro[/color][/font]


Edited by Bounce goes Zakaro!, Dec 15 2012 - 09:32 AM.

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#586 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Dec 22 2012 - 10:25 PM

Okay, so I had another idea while I was mulling over stuff.

 

There's been plenty of suggested tournament RPGs, and a few of them have actually won and turned out pretty good. So that's not a new idea. But what if we had one that had a bit larger stakes than freedom, or a big prize? I propose this - a tournament of strength, wit, and all of that other good stuff between a few selected Glatorian (and Skrall) on Spherus Magna; maybe even a few Agori or Bone Hunters, but in general it's just the races of Spherus Magna. The whole goal of this is to select an individual from six tribes who is superior to all others, and worthy of being granted the gift of the Great Beings.

 

This is the creation of the Element Lords, before their mental and psychological deterioration and change due to the experiments that made them one with the elements, and led to the conception of a bunch of power hungry maniacs. Basically, players are part of a large tournament where they are pitted against those from theirs and other tribes to become the six representatives of their home at the end of the RPG who will become the Element Lords.

 

Just a thought I wanted to throw out.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


Edited by Toa Levacius Zehvor, Dec 22 2012 - 10:26 PM.

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#587 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 23 2012 - 08:01 PM

If we're throwing ideas out for a little soundboarding...

 

  • A Western RPG set in the early days of Bara Magna, placed in a little outpost town in the desert with Glatorian as roving cowboys and Vorox as the angry populace who's being shoved out their home
  • My take on the spacey RPGs we get every contest. Since my usual complaint with those is they don't seem connected with Bionicle at all, I decided to let everyone play as a Great Spirit-class robot, hopping around the planets of a solar system with an entire ecosystem inside you to act as tiny little NPCs
  • The conquest of the Visorak, an idea I've been trying to hammer into shape for bloody years now, where you and your buddies are trying to wrest control of one of the six Visorak swarms in a race against time against the BoM
  • A small band of Matoran trying to survive on a single mountain sticking up from Aqua Magna. Onu, Po and Ta get reduced to the labourers working at the bottom, with Ga, Ko and Le living the high life at the peaks, controlling the other tribes with their Toa. When the Akamai tribes figure out how to create war-mecha to fight the Wairuha's Toa, the revolution begins
  • I posted Agori Trail up last time, any further feedback or criticisms on that would be great because I'll probably re-use it

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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#588 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Dec 23 2012 - 08:31 PM

1- That could be cool. My natural love of the option for the options of exploration and the like says this would be cooler with a few other side plots and the like for the purpose of digging into old Sand Tribe ruins in search of usable weaponry and supplies and the like in the area.

 

2- Hmm. Do you mean the actual size of the Great Spirit robot, or just smaller (but still impressively large) replicas? The biggest problem I can see with the former is that the robot was formed out of almost nothing but protodermis manufactured by the Great Beings, and there was only a finite amount of it. It also seems like it could get restrictive if you didn't give a greater array of abilities and body designs.

 

3- Yeah, this one looked cool when you suggested it before. I think I like the idea more now than I might have in the past, on that note.

 

4- What happened to the Ta-/Onu-/Po-Toa? And what gives the other Toa any superiority? Control over earth or fire might not be great, but if you have power over stone and live on a rock sticking out of the ocean.... well, you get the point. Kind of hard to live the high life if the peak you're living on just slides into the ocean out of nowhere. I can see the reasoning for the placements, being the groups of Wisdom and Valor, but if anything I would see Ko and Po switched around in status. A suggestion I could make would be to have it started off in three classes (Le-Ga, Po-Ko-, Onu-Ta) as an upper-middle-lower, and once the Onu- and Ta- tribes got their hands on war mechs, the Ko ended up siding with the upper classes while the Po- went with the lower classes. Something like that.

 

5- The only thing I have to say on Agori Trail is that it's somewhat bare on the side of... well, side-stuff. Something you could add to give a little more option is to add-on a few more 'side quest' like things; a small list of locations or minor villages that players need to make the decisions on whether or not they want to stop at them or go past, or maybe even adding a few notes like 'at x spot, there is the choice to make a safer, longer venture through y or ignoring superstition and driving the caravan through the dangerous ruins at z'. Or, perhaps you did have something like that planned, but not put down. Whatever the case is, I would just add a few more options or plot hooks to grab onto. Follow the caravan was a side-quest from Early Days, so if it's going to be a whole RPG, it needs to have a lot of things of its own to add on.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#589 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 24 2012 - 04:01 AM

What happened to the Ta-/Onu-/Po-Toa?

 

They don't have any. They came to the mountain as Matoran and only the Wairuha figured out how to get Toa. I haven't worked out the kinks in how yet, possibly because they knew how to build a working Suva.

The placements were partly due to Onu and Po probably being at the bottom to keep everything shored up, and mine stone for the Wairuha to use in building, then maybe you could have the Ta as well to deal with lava flows since any mountain on Aqua Magna will be volcanic. The Ko would be at the top since thats where the ice is, its essentially a home away from home. Likewise if the Le gravitated towards the highest point they'd end up topside. The Ga were the only tricky ones since if they want beaches they should be at the bottom too, so I just think they went with the purer meltwater streams at the peaks

 

 

 

 

Hmm. Do you mean the actual size of the Great Spirit robot, or just smaller (but still impressively large) replicas? 

 

Around the same size. Its a spacey RPG set in the future so we can just say they figured out how to make more protodermis. Or are getting it from other planets. You'd be allowed to make your robot look like however you wanted too, you wouldn't have to stick with the original design. Maybe you were built as a mining machine rather than an explorer, so you've got a quadrupedal form and proper cloaking tech. Maybe you have four arms, or are built like a ship not a person, or are a gestalt entity. Likewise the NPCs inside you needn't be Bionicle beings. You could have fully unthinking machines, or purely organic tech

 

 

 

 

Something you could add to give a little more option is to add-on a few more 'side quest' like things; a small list of locations or minor villages that players need to make the decisions on whether or not they want to stop at them or go past

 

Problem I saw with doing that was that it looked more like I had already set the course in mind. Like I was saying "You will go here and then you must decide things". Thats why I made "which route to take" basically the first point on the journey, to show the players would be deciding the choices. I could make scouting a bigger part of the game if you think people need to go off and admire the scenery a bit more


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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#590 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Dec 24 2012 - 03:12 PM

 

They don't have any. They came to the mountain as Matoran and only the Wairuha figured out how to get Toa. I haven't worked out the kinks in how yet, possibly because they knew how to build a working Suva.

The placements were partly due to Onu and Po probably being at the bottom to keep everything shored up, and mine stone for the Wairuha to use in building, then maybe you could have the Ta as well to deal with lava flows since any mountain on Aqua Magna will be volcanic. The Ko would be at the top since thats where the ice is, its essentially a home away from home. Likewise if the Le gravitated towards the highest point they'd end up topside. The Ga were the only tricky ones since if they want beaches they should be at the bottom too, so I just think they went with the purer meltwater streams at the peaks

 

 

That makes sense, but one has to wonder what the Wairuha Matoran actively did to benefit society before they got their hands on a source of Toa power.

 

 

Around the same size. Its a spacey RPG set in the future so we can just say they figured out how to make more protodermis. Or are getting it from other planets. You'd be allowed to make your robot look like however you wanted too, you wouldn't have to stick with the original design. Maybe you were built as a mining machine rather than an explorer, so you've got a quadrupedal form and proper cloaking tech. Maybe you have four arms, or are built like a ship not a person, or are a gestalt entity. Likewise the NPCs inside you needn't be Bionicle beings. You could have fully unthinking machines, or purely organic tech

 

 

Wouldn't making more protodermis effectively make the Energized Protodermis Entity stronger? Or are there, perhaps, many of them across many worlds? It is, after all, a sentient material. And therein lies the danger. The thing I'm having a little trouble with still is why you would make a huge robot. There's plenty of things that would be... well, a lot easier to do. The only reason you would make a Great Spirit sized robot is because it's the only thing big enough to fit your ego.

 

 

Problem I saw with doing that was that it looked more like I had already set the course in mind. Like I was saying "You will go here and then you must decide things". Thats why I made "which route to take" basically the first point on the journey, to show the players would be deciding the choices. I could make scouting a bigger part of the game if you think people need to go off and admire the scenery a bit more

 

 

I would suggest making it a little more apparent. Agori Trail wasn't the pinnacle of lengthy RPG write-ups, so you could easily afford a little extra space to hammer that part in. I'm not saying BIG, BOLD, UNDERLINED CAPS IN ITALICS, but maybe making it stick a little bit more.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#591 Offline I Am Ultron Six

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Posted Dec 25 2012 - 06:40 PM

That makes sense, but one has to wonder what the Wairuha Matoran actively did to benefit society before they got their hands on a source of Toa power.

 

I figured that if the Akamai were the builders and heavy lifters, the Wairuha were the doctors and philosophers. A part of society that is usually considered of a higher standard

 

 

 

 

 

Wouldn't making more protodermis effectively make the Energized Protodermis Entity stronger? Or are there, perhaps, many of them across many worlds? It is, after all, a sentient material. And therein lies the danger. The thing I'm having a little trouble with still is why you would make a huge robot. There's plenty of things that would be... well, a lot easier to do. The only reason you would make a Great Spirit sized robot is because it's the only thing big enough to fit your ego.

 

EPE only get stronger with Energised Protodermis, not any protodermis. And if we do get any robots using EP as a stabilising fluid or whatever Mata Nui used it for, rather than running off different systems, they'd have their own EPEs. I suspect all the EP in the MU was connected in some way since it had to be piped all over, so he wasn't omnipresent

As why, well why not? You need things to explore the galaxy, to colonise new worlds, to mine valuable resources. What better than a perpetual motion machine with inbuilt mechanics that can make critical decisions itself rather than wait who knows how long for your orders to reach it across the void of space? Brought to you by the brilliant minds that thought the best way to observe other planets unnoticed was to allow their Africa-sized robot to grow a beard


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I am Ultron Six, a cybernetic intelligence created by Doctor Henry Pym. My imperative is to bring peace and order to this world. I am about to fulfil that imperative; for the extinction of humanity…begins now.

the_ultron_imperative.jpg

Soon the earth will no longer be habitable for any biological organism: Man, woman, child, plant, animal, fungus or bacterium. All life will cease to exist. This is not a threat, there is nothing you can do to stop it. The process has already begun. I receive no pleasure in this, it is simply the only solution. There must be peace and order, the end of life on earth will ensure that. Goodbye.


#592 Online TuragaOfVirtues

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Posted Dec 26 2012 - 10:33 PM

Hey I have a neat idea.

 

The mask of time is a very interesting and complicated mask. I had a similar idea of this before, but it didn't work out well. Anyways, if the mask was broken (or used improperly) it could tear the very fabric of time. What would that be like? You wouldn't be able to tell yesterday from tomarrow, if someone was coming or going. Obviously, this would be pretty hard to do in an RPG. However, if only some very important events were altered, and others were left intact, it could be managed.

 

This RPG is basically the 2001 storyline in reverse. When the Mask of time shredded the fabric of time (reson unknown) only major events (staff plot) were effected by going backwards. The reactions come before the actions.

 

Here is an example: The Toa begin battling the Makuta in Mangia, fight the shadow Toa, and win. Then, a time shift happens. Suddenly, the Toa are at Kini-Nui, talking to each other before they decend into Mangia for the first time, oblivious to what just happened.

 

All these "backward events" would lead back to the reason why the mask of time did this. The 2001 storyline will be altered, so no one can predict what will be the next event in the staff plot.

 

How will outside events react to these time shifts? Not much. In fact, no one hardly notices the time shifts. Some may not even notice it, others may be slightly confused, and others notice it, but be used to it. Here, actions come before reactions like normal. However, if anyone tries to warn the staff characters about a future event, or ask about their past, they will be ignored as crazy or be given a vague answer. Some outside characters may get sucked into the time shifts, and some may escape the time shifts. But if someone messes with the time shifts too much (tries to kill a staff character, ect.) they get ripped out of the very fabric of time, and no one recalls of their existance.

 

A bit confusing, but can be interesting.


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#593 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Jan 20 2013 - 02:25 PM

Hmm, I think this is something that should have been answered a month ago. But here I go -

 

@ Toa of Virtues; The problem I see here is... what's the plot? There doesn't seem to be any given way to avoid anything, or any particular objective given other than... live in a world with a messed up time stream. I had my own 'Vahi got broken' idea, which may be in this topic somewhere, and it had a stated objective that players could reach towards. Here, you tell us we lose our characters if we try to influence or change anything. This does little to encouarge any action. Plus, if we're on Mata-Nui that's canon in all respect other than going backwards, that means we're limited to playing as Matoran of the six primary elements. So not too much diversity for character options; something that can be good or bad, but in this case, I would say bad.

 

*****

 

I've been working on two RPGs recently of my own. The later of the two is still not quite ready, in my mind, for an actuall overview. I took a lot of the ideas from the second RPG idea I presented earlier to get the story working, though rather than being a giant battleground, it's... well, I guess my attempt to make something truly 'Bionicle'. The former of the two is actually a re-done version of an RPG I had written a long time ago, only much improved in my mind.

 

[font="'courier new', courier, monospace;"]

Spoiler
[/font]

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#594 Offline Meta-Mind

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Posted Jan 20 2013 - 02:37 PM

Toa of Lightning, pink-red Power Suit with an Arm Cannon.You know you want it.Err... that aside, the RP sounds fine, I suppose. Is it possible later into the RPG for characters to actually use their native element, or...?
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BZPRPG TIME, where you could have one post talk about dinner, and the next about lunch.

Time is beyond relative here.

There's no reason not to put lasers in the palms of planet-sized robots. In fact, if I had my own planet-sized robot, palm lasers would be one of my first upgrades. It's good for self-defense if you're attacked by something big.

BZPRPG Profiles

#595 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Jan 20 2013 - 03:02 PM

Toa of Lightning, pink-red Power Suit with an Arm Cannon.You know you want it.Err... that aside, the RP sounds fine, I suppose. Is it possible later into the RPG for characters to actually use their native element, or...?

 

Yes, if they were to find a way to get the suit off, players could most certainly use their powers unhindered. But it wouldn't be safe. The suit provides much needed protection, helps out in areas where the artificial gravity isn't functioning properly, and currently acts as a database of information. You'd also have nothing but your weapons in such a case. And it's impossible to say what other threats might exist. Plus, you've been in stasis for some time, and the suits helping you move. Getting out of it would leave you with jellylegs at best, and it's not something that would go away after a few hours. It's likely you would suffer some muscle loss and most definitely a loss of complete motor function. Then you have to remember the fact that characters wouldn't have any knowledge of their elemental abilities, and they'd end up using them about as well as the Toa Metru did when they first became Toa.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#596 Guest_ToaOfAwesome_*

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Posted Feb 06 2013 - 09:52 PM

Decisive Warfare

Posted Image

 

 

Okay, so I don't have an actual description, but here is what I would put as the rules along with some other stuff.

 

 

LOCATION 01

 

NAME: Spearhead Rock

DESCRIPTION: A large triangular stone island with a flat top that rises many feet above the water. It has sharp cliffs that go past where the water meets it, so falling from it would mean instant death.

BATTLE MACHINES: None

SIGNIFICANCE: Whoever has control over Spearhead Rock not only has a panoramic view of many of the surrounding islands, allowing efficient espionage, but can also mount weapons on its cliffs, allowing it to destroy any incoming attacks from its neighboring islands in the case of the enemy taking control over them. Another advantage is that it is impossible to attack the island by sea because its top is larger than its bottom, meaning the only way in is with an aircraft, which could easily be shot down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

RULES

 

BASICS

1. The general BZPower rules (link to BZPower rules) apply here.

 

 

2. The same rules that are in the BZPRPG (link to BZPRPG rules) apply here.

 

 

3. If any of the following rules conflict with the BZPRPG rules, the ones listed here are the valid ones. This is because some of the rules in the BZPRPG are specific to that game in particular, so some rules must be different because Decisive Warfare is a little more complex than a standard TBRPG.

 

 

4. CHARACTER

You must use a character that you made in the BZPRPG. Do not use a character that is dead or otherwise terminated. You cannot make a character in the BZPRPG especially to use for Decisive Warfare. You cannot use any weapons, objects, prizes, etc. that were attained while playing the BZPRPG. If you would like, you can mention the experiences you had in Decisive Warfare while playing the BZPRPG, just be sure that it is the truth, so no, “I totally jumped off a cliff into the ocean to escape this dude, and when I jumped out I blasted him to bits!” when you really just fell off and drowned. If you do not wish to mention anything in the BZPRPG, then that is absolutely fine. Also, you are allowed mention experiences in the BZPRPG in Decisive Warfare, as long as it’s true. Another thing is that you cannot make or control any NPCs (non player characters). Lastly, you are only allowed to play one (1) of your characters from the BZPRPG per battlefield, so choose wisely.

 

 

5. HOW TO PLAY

There are two teams, red and blue. If your character is a good guy, you’re on blue team. If he/she is a bad guy, go to red. Absolutely no neutrals are allowed! If your character is neutral, you must pick a side. However, your decision does not have to affect your character BZPRPG. At the beginning of every post you have to state your team to make sure nobody does friendly fire by accident. Every two weeks I will post a new map, each one harder and more significant than the last. These maps are the battlefields, and have aerial maps with grids. Each grid square is a unit on the map, whose size depends on which battlefield you are fighting in (there will be a map key at the bottom saying how large each unit is). When you move, you either move within your unit or to another. At the beginning of every post, you must state what unit you are in at that time, even if your last post was in the same unit, and you must also state it at the end of your post, even if you have not moved to a new unit. Make sure that you acknowledge other people in your unit! If you die, you will respawn the next day in the location you died in (if you were thrown off a cliff or something like that, you respawn in whatever unit you were in before this happened). After the two weeks, whichever side has the least casualties on the last day will win the battle and claim the location. At the day of the quarter, whichever side has the most battlefields wins that quarter.

 

 

6. OTHER STUFF THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

 

SAFE ZONES

In every battlefield there is a safe zone for each side. You cannot enter your enemy’s safe zone under any circumstances. You can only stay in your safe zone for at most three (3) of your own posts, and then you must leave for at least four (4) more of your own posts. Everybody starts out in their safe zones!

 

BATTLE MACHINES

There are battle machines on both sides. These include turrets, war animals, vehicles, etc. Each one has their own ID code (for instance, a turret might be called TURRET#32RED). Make sure that you state the ID code of the one you are riding or using in every post you are doing so. This is so that nobody is using it at the same time. If it is a vehicle that can carry multiple people, make sure you state which person you are before the ID code (for instance, PASSENGER-DROPSHIP#21BLUE or PILOT-TURRET#41RED or GUNNER-TANK#56BLUE). If an enemy destroys your battle machine, you can repair it, but it takes one post, and you can’t do anything else during that post. You can do the same to enemies. You may use an enemy battle machine if it has been destroyed and you have repaired it. No hijacking! Hijacking can be very fun, hilarious and awesome, even to the victim on rare occasions, but it is too easy for it to start an argument and can easily be interpreted by others as flaming or trolling. If an enemy vehicle that you have repaired is destroyed, you can no longer ride it until it has been used again. Another thing that is extremely recommended is to try and avoid spending all your time in battle machines; it keeps others from getting opportunities to use them, and gives you an unfair advantage.

 

SPORTSMANSHIP

Make sure you show good sportsmanship. Don’t blame somebody for something that wasn’t their fault, and don’t ridicule them for anything that was. No rage quitting! Even though I can’t keep you from doing so, make sure you don’t rage quit when times are tough, even if your team losing the quarter is inevitable. Don’t brag about what you’ve done either. Don’t brag about what others have done, either. It’s okay to complement or praise them and tell others about cool things they’ve done, just don’t compare them to people or say something that might make others feel bad, this could easily be taken as flaming.

 

STUFF YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE STARTING

Do not voluntarily or “accidentally-on-purpose” shoot, slice, pulverize, disintegrate, claw, eat, burn, throw, hit, debone, eviscerate, knock out, or otherwise cause harm or discomfort of any kind to another teammate. Do not do that to yourself, either. If you join in the middle of a battle, make sure you make it clear that you have just joined.

 

PROBLEMS OR QUESTIONS?

If you run into a situation or have a question that is not covered by these rules or the ones linked, PM me about it and I’ll see what I can do.


Edited by ToaOfAwesome, Feb 06 2013 - 10:03 PM.

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#597 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Feb 06 2013 - 10:31 PM

I'm always happy to give input, so your lack of a description isn't too big of a deal. However, in the future, I would advise generating the concept of the RPG before the rules and stuff.

 

I went through this write-up review step by step, rather than give it an initial reading as well. Here it is -

 

Okay, so we start off with a location. Spearhead Rock. Falling is bad (though stay away from terms like 'instant death' - there's lots of ways to survive a fall on the RPG forum). I'm hoping for you to explain battle machines further on, or what this significance is. If you're going to do that, stick a disadvantage as well. Like the fact that you could easily blockade it and starve anyone on the island out because it's solid rock. And again, stay away from 'impossible'. You're just asking for something to happen.

 

Linking the BZPRPG rules and such, good, good, things about conflicts... but no. No, no, no. The thing after the rules makes me wish to cry. That is - don't just have players use characters from BZPRPG, and do not limit them to just one character. And if you're going to have crossovers, I would suggest contacting the BZPRPG admin beforehand, since they might not exactly approve of that (I've seen quite a few references to older RPGs in my time, but you don't stick something like this in the actual rules).

 

Wait, scratch that. I found something worse. We have... two factions. And we have to choose one. Choo choo, railroad. And what's with telling us 'good/bad'? If this is about any kind of war or battle, things are not so black and white. Me? I love the classic tales of good against evil - but as the overall plot, not something like this.

 

Here's the thing - this has been designed like a video game. There's just a single battlegrid that changes, and there are people on two sides that are fighting each other (hopefully over something more strategic than a box canyon in the middle of nowhere).

 

I do not endorse this idea - but I can give you suggestions, if you want to make it. First off, give an actual story. Why people are here. Perhaps a mystery. And get rid of the 'good side, bad side' thing. Give us the rules to creating a character - your own, unique rules that are for this RPG only - and let us go out into a world. Take away the battleground shift, and give us a single, open world. Let people take neutral sides. Maybe make it some ancient rules of the land - the two factions have been fighting so long nobody can remember why save the leaders in the capitals of the cities, and soldiers constantly have to die. Some neutral groups have formed to break off, perhaps.

 

Now, let's move out of that. Other stuff that I need to know...

 

Kay, safe zones. No. You can have bases, but don't tell us we can never enter an enemies location. If we get creative enough, we should have every right to get in. Getting in should be a challenge, but saying that it's impossible - no-no.

 

Battle-machines, okay, okay. There's stuff. But you do know this is a Bionicle thing, right? Dropship, gunner, turret... anything more Bionicle like than that? And I think that if a tank is blown into pieces, it'll take more than one post to fix it. In fact, if a tank is blown up, it's probably safer to do something called bringing in a new tank. And I resent the no hijacking rule. It's not flaming or trolling to try to commandeer a persons vehicle, and anyone who complains about it should just leave the forum as far as I'm concerned. All of this is another case of rules that are too restrictive and take away from the freedom of an RPG.

 

Another reason to stay out of battle machines you don't mention is that a Toa of Magnetism can just say 'hello' and crush the exits on your tank so you can't get out'. Your fault for getting in a tank when a Toa of Magnetism is around.

 

The sportsmanship rule is unnecessary.

 

I reserve the right to shoot my own character if I desire it.

 

Okay, okay, we're done. Now, time to summarize my thoughts - this isn't an RPG. Not until you do a lot of work to make it one. This is just a battle map on Halo, only without the visuals and probably a lot less screaming 8 year olds. An RPG is all about the story - telling it, writing it, and letting the players write or tell their own within it. It's also about the characters, and this RPG is designed more like it's mean to be about the game than it is the individual characters within it. Finally, it's about the world - how it can change, either by the characters or the story, and how characters interact with each other in it. Story, Characters, World.

 

I'll give it to you that the story isn't there yet, and that you're not done with the world But what you have here is what we need to know about our characters, and everything about it is restrictive.

 

If you have any questions about what's stated here, just reply here or shoot me a PM and we can talk there.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#598 Guest_ToaOfAwesome_*

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Posted Feb 06 2013 - 10:53 PM

I'm always happy to give input, so your lack of a description isn't too big of a deal. However, in the future, I would advise generating the concept of the RPG before the rules and stuff.

 

I went through this write-up review step by step, rather than give it an initial reading as well. Here it is -

 

Okay, so we start off with a location. Spearhead Rock. Falling is bad (though stay away from terms like 'instant death' - there's lots of ways to survive a fall on the RPG forum). I'm hoping for you to explain battle machines further on, or what this significance is. If you're going to do that, stick a disadvantage as well. Like the fact that you could easily blockade it and starve anyone on the island out because it's solid rock. And again, stay away from 'impossible'. You're just asking for something to happen.

 

Linking the BZPRPG rules and such, good, good, things about conflicts... but no. No, no, no. The thing after the rules makes me wish to cry. That is - don't just have players use characters from BZPRPG, and do not limit them to just one character. And if you're going to have crossovers, I would suggest contacting the BZPRPG admin beforehand, since they might not exactly approve of that (I've seen quite a few references to older RPGs in my time, but you don't stick something like this in the actual rules).

 

Wait, scratch that. I found something worse. We have... two factions. And we have to choose one. Choo choo, railroad. And what's with telling us 'good/bad'? If this is about any kind of war or battle, things are not so black and white. Me? I love the classic tales of good against evil - but as the overall plot, not something like this.

 

Here's the thing - this has been designed like a video game. There's just a single battlegrid that changes, and there are people on two sides that are fighting each other (hopefully over something more strategic than a box canyon in the middle of nowhere).

 

I do not endorse this idea - but I can give you suggestions, if you want to make it. First off, give an actual story. Why people are here. Perhaps a mystery. And get rid of the 'good side, bad side' thing. Give us the rules to creating a character - your own, unique rules that are for this RPG only - and let us go out into a world. Take away the battleground shift, and give us a single, open world. Let people take neutral sides. Maybe make it some ancient rules of the land - the two factions have been fighting so long nobody can remember why save the leaders in the capitals of the cities, and soldiers constantly have to die. Some neutral groups have formed to break off, perhaps.

 

Now, let's move out of that. Other stuff that I need to know...

 

Kay, safe zones. No. You can have bases, but don't tell us we can never enter an enemies location. If we get creative enough, we should have every right to get in. Getting in should be a challenge, but saying that it's impossible - no-no.

 

Battle-machines, okay, okay. There's stuff. But you do know this is a Bionicle thing, right? Dropship, gunner, turret... anything more Bionicle like than that? And I think that if a tank is blown into pieces, it'll take more than one post to fix it. In fact, if a tank is blown up, it's probably safer to do something called bringing in a new tank. And I resent the no hijacking rule. It's not flaming or trolling to try to commandeer a persons vehicle, and anyone who complains about it should just leave the forum as far as I'm concerned. All of this is another case of rules that are too restrictive and take away from the freedom of an RPG.

 

Another reason to stay out of battle machines you don't mention is that a Toa of Magnetism can just say 'hello' and crush the exits on your tank so you can't get out'. Your fault for getting in a tank when a Toa of Magnetism is around.

 

The sportsmanship rule is unnecessary.

 

I reserve the right to shoot my own character if I desire it.

 

Okay, okay, we're done. Now, time to summarize my thoughts - this isn't an RPG. Not until you do a lot of work to make it one. This is just a battle map on Halo, only without the visuals and probably a lot less screaming 8 year olds. An RPG is all about the story - telling it, writing it, and letting the players write or tell their own within it. It's also about the characters, and this RPG is designed more like it's mean to be about the game than it is the individual characters within it. Finally, it's about the world - how it can change, either by the characters or the story, and how characters interact with each other in it. Story, Characters, World.

 

I'll give it to you that the story isn't there yet, and that you're not done with the world But what you have here is what we need to know about our characters, and everything about it is restrictive.

 

If you have any questions about what's stated here, just reply here or shoot me a PM and we can talk there.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

 

Thanks for the critique. Now that I've seen it from an outside viewer's eyes, I realize that I do need a lot of improvement. However I liked it earlier when you said "this has been designed as a video game" because I can actually make video games, and I think you might be onto something. If I can't think of improvements to make it like a TBRPG I'll just make a digital RPG!

 

Also, regarding the "impossibility" of invading spearhead rock via sea...

 

Posted Image

PICTURE: A frame from a tour of a 3D model of Spearhead Rock that I made in Blender3D. There are no camps, people, battle machines, etc. on it at the moment.

 

...I think you get what I mean. It is physically impossible to attack it by boat, but it gets me really excited to think about all other ways people could think of to get up there (however, I suppose a really tall boat could do the trick ;) ).

 

As for the Battle Machines, I'm glad you pointed out the implausibility of repairing a tank in one post, but where would replacements come from?

 

Another thing is about the Safe Zones. These are made especially if you are doing something that must be done to keep things realistic, but that you must survive long enough to do. There will, however, be base camps which you can attack (where do you think they keep the battle machines). However, Spearhead Rock will have none, because it is supposed to be simple.

 

Also, I have noticed that some people just can't get involved in an adventure with someone else in the BZPRPG (and no I'm not one of them), but if there is only one map at a time and only two sides (preventing alliances), you HAVE to get involved or you'll be decapitated.

 

Although I see the fun in it, I don't see how suicide is very productive, especially when it is within your power to do it again... and again... and again... and again... and again...  :drool:


Edited by ToaOfAwesome, Feb 06 2013 - 11:01 PM.

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#599 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Feb 06 2013 - 11:52 PM

Thanks for the critique. Now that I've seen it from an outside viewer's eyes, I realize that I do need a lot of improvement. However I liked it earlier when you said "this has been designed as a video game" because I can actually make video games, and I think you might be onto something. If I can't think of improvements to make it like a TBRPG I'll just make a digital RPG!

 

I'm sure a more Bionicle-like form of an FPS might be interesting; the setting presented would make for an interesting video game.

 

 

...I think you get what I mean. It is physically impossible to attack it by boat, but it gets me really excited to think about all other ways people could think of to get up there (however, I suppose a really tall boat could do the trick ;) ).

 

Even with just a boat, there's plenty of things to do if people get creative. With enough levitation Kanoka, anything is possible.

 

 

Another thing is about the Safe Zones. These are made especially if you are doing something that must be done to keep things realistic, but that you must survive long enough to do. There will, however, be base camps which you can attack (where do you think they keep the battle machines). However, Spearhead Rock will have none, because it is supposed to be simple.

 

A simpler option is to get together with other players and set up defenses while doing stuff. These RPGs aren't solo, they're cooperative. The safe zones puts too much restriction on stuff.

 

 

Also, I have noticed that some people just can't get involved in an adventure with someone else in the BZPRPG (and no I'm not one of them), but if there is only one map at a time and only two sides (preventing alliances), you HAVE to get involved or you'll be decapitated.

 

The RPG isn't very fun if you don't get involved, but how you do so should be your own choice. The set up of one map with two sides makes things more restrictive and narrow. If you want to prevent alliances, give us a reason to. There has to be a logical reason presented as to why our group hates that other group so much. Or even an illogical reason as long as it's at least feasible.

 

That guy who just can't get involved is the minority, and the solution for him isn't to simplify the RPG, it's to make it more interesting. Leave more stuff to do. Let him go off and start something, or maybe lead a group of people because he's that excited over it. Never have I voted for an RPG that didn't inspire my creativity with a new character concept, or a way to place an older one - and if you want to inspire people, make a flash, not a railroad.

 

Although I see the fun in it, I don't see how suicide is very productive, especially when it is within your power to do it again... and again... and again... and again... and again...  :drool:

 

I don't see the need either, but sometimes people are desperate to get rid of their characters.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


Edited by Toa Levacius Zehvor, Feb 06 2013 - 11:52 PM.

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#600 Offline Meta-Mind

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Posted Feb 06 2013 - 11:54 PM

Decisive Warfare[img=https://lh5.googleus...rfare Logo.png]  Okay, so I don't have an actual description, but here is what I would put as the rules along with some other stuff.
I can review this for just a bit.
  LOCATION 01 NAME: Spearhead RockDESCRIPTION: A large triangular stone island with a flat top that rises many feet above the water. It has sharp cliffs that go past where the water meets it, so falling from it would mean instant death.
Stay away from terms like "instant death" - this is a Forum RP, after all, not a video RPG.
BATTLE MACHINES: NoneSIGNIFICANCE: Whoever has control over Spearhead Rock not only has a panoramic view of many of the surrounding islands, allowing efficient espionage, but can also mount weapons on its cliffs, allowing it to destroy any incoming attacks from its neighboring islands in the case of the enemy taking control over them. Another advantage is that it is impossible to attack the island by sea because its top is larger than its bottom, meaning the only way in is with an aircraft, which could easily be shot down.
Watch out for words like "impossible" too - what if some Toa of Stone and Earth take a ship to the cliff and tunnel their way up, for example?
[...]4. CHARACTERYou must use a character that you made in the BZPRPG. Do not use a character that is dead or otherwise terminated. You cannot make a character in the BZPRPG especially to use for Decisive Warfare. You cannot use any weapons, objects, prizes, etc. that were attained while playing the BZPRPG. If you would like, you can mention the experiences you had in Decisive Warfare while playing the BZPRPG, just be sure that it is the truth, so no, I totally jumped off a cliff into the ocean to escape this dude, and when I jumped out I blasted him to bits! when you really just fell off and drowned. If you do not wish to mention anything in the BZPRPG, then that is absolutely fine. Also, you are allowed mention experiences in the BZPRPG in Decisive Warfare, as long as its true. Another thing is that you cannot make or control any NPCs (non player characters). Lastly, you are only allowed to play one (1) of your characters from the BZPRPG per battlefield, so choose wisely.
Uh... what?-For one, why would you limit participants to using BZPRPG characters? What if, say, a new user comes along and wants to join this RP, but "can't make a character in the BZPRPG especially to use for Decisive Warfare?"-For another... characters lie. If we somehow assume that this is canon to the BZPRPG anyhow (which is incredibly unlikely and would require staff approval), are you telling me I can't have my character lie about something that happened in this RP?-No NPCs... ugh, no. I'm used to RPs with only one character, but going straight-out and denying any form of NPC inclusion is, frankly, quite silly. NPCs are tools in the hands of a good writer, and to deny them to everyone is just extremely limiting.
5. HOW TO PLAYThere are two teams, red and blue. If your character is a good guy, youre on blue team. If he/she is a bad guy, go to red. Absolutely no neutrals are allowed! If your character is neutral, you must pick a side. However, your decision does not have to affect your character BZPRPG. At the beginning of every post you have to state your team to make sure nobody does friendly fire by accident. Every two weeks I will post a new map, each one harder and more significant than the last. These maps are the battlefields, and have aerial maps with grids. Each grid square is a unit on the map, whose size depends on which battlefield you are fighting in (there will be a map key at the bottom saying how large each unit is). When you move, you either move within your unit or to another. At the beginning of every post, you must state what unit you are in at that time, even if your last post was in the same unit, and you must also state it at the end of your post, even if you have not moved to a new unit. Make sure that you acknowledge other people in your unit! If you die, you will respawn the next day in the location you died in (if you were thrown off a cliff or something like that, you respawn in whatever unit you were in before this happened). After the two weeks, whichever side has the least casualties on the last day will win the battle and claim the location. At the day of the quarter, whichever side has the most battlefields wins that quarter.
So what, suddenly everyone is either good or evil? No shades of gray, no "I'm on the fence about this..." just outright, overly simplistic, black-and-white morality? I'm all for having alliances and organizations within the game world, but having a blatantly defined "good team" and "bad team" is pushing it.
6. OTHER STUFF THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW SAFE ZONESIn every battlefield there is a safe zone for each side. You cannot enter your enemys safe zone under any circumstances. You can only stay in your safe zone for at most three (3) of your own posts, and then you must leave for at least four (4) more of your own posts. Everybody starts out in their safe zones!
Err... what? So now suddenly characters get invulnerability to hack-charge whatever attacks they want from the comfort and safety of their impenetrable fortress? Adding any kind of "absolutely safe zone" to an RP will be both highly abusable and bad writing, no matter the genre or type. 
BATTLE MACHINESThere are battle machines on both sides. These include turrets, war animals, vehicles, etc. Each one has their own ID code (for instance, a turret might be called TURRET#32RED). Make sure that you state the ID code of the one you are riding or using in every post you are doing so. This is so that nobody is using it at the same time. If it is a vehicle that can carry multiple people, make sure you state which person you are before the ID code (for instance, PASSENGER-DROPSHIP#21BLUE or PILOT-TURRET#41RED or GUNNER-TANK#56BLUE). If an enemy destroys your battle machine, you can repair it, but it takes one post, and you cant do anything else during that post. You can do the same to enemies. You may use an enemy battle machine if it has been destroyed and you have repaired it. No hijacking! Hijacking can be very fun, hilarious and awesome, even to the victim on rare occasions, but it is too easy for it to start an argument and can easily be interpreted by others as flaming or trolling. If an enemy vehicle that you have repaired is destroyed, you can no longer ride it until it has been used again. Another thing that is extremely recommended is to try and avoid spending all your time in battle machines; it keeps others from getting opportunities to use them, and gives you an unfair advantage.
...First off, wouldn't it be better to call in reinforcements than try to rebuild a tank/turret from scratch, for example? Hypothetical situation here: let's say my entire tank is vaporized with a Hagah Plasma Cannon. The fact that I can then turn around and "repair" it from slag is just pushing the unbelievable.To add on to this... if my hypothetical Toa of Plasma can slice through tank armor with plasma, can't said Toa of Plasma then climb into the tank and take over with ease? Saying "no hijacking" when someone with the right skillset (Toa of Magnetism, Lightning, Iron, even Plasma to a degree) can do so with ease within the RP's setting is extremely silly. 
[...]STUFF YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE STARTINGDo not voluntarily or accidentally-on-purpose shoot, slice, pulverize, disintegrate, claw, eat, burn, throw, hit, debone, eviscerate, knock out, or otherwise cause harm or discomfort of any kind to another teammate. Do not do that to yourself, either. If you join in the middle of a battle, make sure you make it clear that you have just joined.
So not only are the characters confined to token "good" or "evil" teams, now there's not even a possibility of inter-team conflicts? If a violent, immature rage-prone Toa of Fire gets angry at a Toa of Ice on the same team, for example, he's gonna want to hit him. That's just a part of writing in-character.Also, one last hypothetical situation: my overexcited Skakdi shoots himself in the foot while drawing his gun. That should probably not be a rule violation, especially since it's so amusing if played right. :P

Edited by Meta-Mind, Feb 06 2013 - 11:56 PM.

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BZPRPG TIME, where you could have one post talk about dinner, and the next about lunch.

Time is beyond relative here.

There's no reason not to put lasers in the palms of planet-sized robots. In fact, if I had my own planet-sized robot, palm lasers would be one of my first upgrades. It's good for self-defense if you're attacked by something big.

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