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The Official Rpg Planning Topic


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#681 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 03:51 PM

My explanation: Teridax was so certain that the Po-Le-Ko and the Ta-Onu-Ga would remain seperate and continue fighting that the united Matoran completely took him off guard. I will slightly adjust canon so the Makuta had already evolved, and why the Brotherhood didn't attack is Miserix never liked the plan in the first place. He allied with the Turaga loyalist faction. Why I don't want to set it in the actual canon time of the war is because, according to Biosector, the Matoran didn't even have Kanoka at the time of the war. The war wouldn't have any good weapons, and setting it into the future a little bit would allow those weapons to be made. Also, which RPG did you like the most?


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#682 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 04:02 PM

[font="'Bookman Old Style';font-size:14px;"]Also, which RPG did you like the most?[/font]

 

This one.

 

And just because they don't have Kanoka doesn't mean there's nothing to use. They had great masks back then, didn't hey? They could easily have had disks of power, just not following the liquid protodermis based process they started using later on. Plus, if you're going to bend canon and turn the most cunning and pretty darn near close to most powerful being in the Matoran Universe into an cool dude, then you've already proven that you can bend canon. Just add Kanoka in, or whatever you want.

 

Miserix liking the plan or not has nothing to do with it. If it did, you're forgetting the fact that he praised Teridax for his actions, and awarded him the city of Metru-Nui as his prize. Plus, there's the reason the Makuta took action in the first place - because the Civil War was killing Mata-Nui. That's why the Archives Massacre happened.

 

If the biggest reason you have for changing the setting is so there's cooler weapons, then that's cool. But cool weapons are a pointless, flashy gimmick. In fact, you will make the RPG worse by adding that stuff, because you'll have to devote more time into explaining how things like the Vahki suits and stuff work. You detract from it.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#683 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:00 PM

Okay, I will change the time frame to the normal time frame of the war- but I'm keeping fancy weapons. I don't think you saw, but you can't have powers, or anything like that. Fancy weapons compensates for that.


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#684 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:01 PM

[font="'Bookman Old Style';font-size:14px;"]Okay, I will change the time frame to the normal time frame of the war- but I'm keeping fancy weapons. I don't think you saw, but you can't have powers, or anything like that. Fancy weapons compensates for that.[/font]

 

As does a good story or the like. There's nothing wrong with having more advanced equipment, as long as you don't devote a large hunk of time to explaining them. Just keep it as a footnote.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#685 Offline thebeggerpie

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Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:11 PM

Just a heads up:

 

 Next time round, I'll have a RPG ready to launch.

 

 I'm planning a separate timeline from the Canon, in which the Mata Nui robot never crashed onto Aqua Magna. But there WILL BE crashing. Never fear that. :P 


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#686 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 09:51 AM

So, does anyone have any ideas for a game in which the Vahi broke?

 

Also, what could have been improved in my last submission?

 

-Elrond


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#687 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 10:11 AM

So, does anyone have any ideas for a game in which the Vahi broke?

 

 

Yes, as a matter of fact. It's an RPG I've always planned on completing, but it's also the most ambitious project I've come up with and I've never been able to devote the time I need to completing it. Maybe one day. I do truly adore the book Time Trap.

 

[font="'Comic Sans MS';"]Also, what could have been improved in my last submission?[/font]

 

Submitting it earlier.

 

Jokes aside, the way that people are divided socially by element and not just leaving still strikes me as odd, the factions aren't very diverse considering there are so many of them, the fact people can play as a sleepwalker takes away any consequences, 20 drinks is way too many - make it like 2. You ever played Hunted: The Demons Forge? Well, I'll put it simply - give in to the temptation for power, and it's bad. Other details like these things.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#688 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 10:34 AM

 the fact people can play as a sleepwalker takes away any consequences

 

Can you extrapolate (can't think of a better word at the moment)?

 

-Elrond


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#689 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 10:47 AM

 the fact people can play as a sleepwalker takes away any consequences

 

Can you extrapolate (can't think of a better word at the moment)?

 

-Elrond

 

When players become a sleepwalker... they can live in the 'double life' world all they want. Or when they start off as one.

 

A good story needs to have some dramatic tension, and as the RPG stands right now, consuming Double Life has almost no consequence for being taken. Limit it. Make it so a person gets like ten posts of interaction out of a drink at a time, subtract a few more or less. Make it so if you drink it more than like two or three times, it's permanent, and you lose your character - they just become an NPC sleepwalker.

 

Yes, it may seem harsh, and I figure at least one person would complain. But if you actually make it so drinking Double Life at some point or another becomes essential to combating certain elements that have been established by the antagonist, then if players

 

Imagine -

 

First Drink - You get ten posts in the dream state, safe; maximum of twenty. Going for any more runs a risk of being trapped permanently.

Second Drink - You get trapped in the dream state for twenty posts, and have the risk of getting trapped there permanently throughout.

Third Drink - Sleepwalker status, automatically. Permanently. No more PC.

 

If, say, a group of investigators wish to learn something, wouldn't having a person be forced to drink it and risk being stuck permanently in order to retrieve information from some area of the dreamscape, while their allies fend off sleepwalkers - at the risk their friend becomes one - wouldn't that be a lot more intense?

 

It would also mean that if, say, players figure a way to reverse the effect of double-life, they get those characters back. Perhaps even after you already allowed them to create new characters to RP with while those characters were gone. This increases the potential rewards for plot progression as well.

 

Bueno?

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#690 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 11:16 AM

Okay, I understand now. Dramatic tension...

 

*Begins playing Imperial March while re-writing RPG*

 

-Elrond


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#691 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 02:59 PM

I just saw this in the winners thread:

Thanks everyone who entered, and I look forward to giving you all a theme for our next contest!

 We're getting a theme next contest, which means we shouldn't work on any RPGs until it is announced. After all, your current RPG might not fir into the theme. When do we normally get the theme?


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#692 Offline thebeggerpie

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 03:14 PM

I just saw this in the winners thread:

Thanks everyone who entered, and I look forward to giving you all a theme for our next contest!

 We're getting a theme next contest, which means we shouldn't work on any RPGs until it is announced. After all, your current RPG might not fir into the theme. When do we normally get the theme?

  Well, you can always do it the time after that.

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#693 Offline A Magus With Class

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 03:42 PM

I just saw this in the winners thread:

Thanks everyone who entered, and I look forward to giving you all a theme for our next contest!

 We're getting a theme next contest, which means we shouldn't work on any RPGs until it is announced. After all, your current RPG might not fir into the theme. When do we normally get the theme?
We get the theme the day the contest begins.

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#694 Offline More Fierce Than Fire

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 04:01 PM

The themes so far have been based on Bionicle years (so first theme was find some masks, second was involve a swarm, third was about losing powers etc) so we can try and make a few guesses. I believe the last theme was "Be set Underwater" after Mahri Nui so the theme this time around would be something to do with the Phantoka and Mistika


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#695 Offline A Magus With Class

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 04:02 PM

No, theme last time was "set underground".
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#696 Offline More Fierce Than Fire

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 04:10 PM

I knew it was under something. Got the wrong medium :P


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#697 Offline The Lorax

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Posted Apr 02 2013 - 04:14 PM

If the last one was underground, maybe this one will be underwater.


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#698 Offline thebeggerpie

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 09:17 AM

That would be extremely interesting.
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#699 Offline Elrond of Rivendell

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 10:38 AM

If so, then who's up for an RPG about life in the Pit?

 

-Elrond


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#700 Offline The Lorax

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 02:26 PM

If that was the theme, I think we'd have quite a lot of games set in and around the Pit. Are you thinking before, during or after the Great Cataclysm?


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#701 Offline thebeggerpie

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 02:32 PM

If so, then who's up for an RPG about life in the Pit? -Elrond

 MEMEMEME 

If that was the theme, I think we'd have quite a lot of games set in and around the Pit.......

 Hmm, that would be a problem. But we could always Mahri-Nui, or n underwater city on Aqua Magma

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#702 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 02:40 PM

If that was the theme, I think we'd have quite a lot of games set in and around the Pit. Are you thinking before, during or after the Great Cataclysm?

 

Something set during the Great Cataclysm would be a tad hard to run, but if the GM knew what they were doing we might get a rather interesting episode of 24, couldn't we? I think the safe bet would be after the Great Cataclysm for most.

 

Before the Great Cataclysm doesn't sound very interesting, though. Everyone's locked up in one cell and can't really interact with each other, after all.

 

Hmm, that would be a problem. But we could always Mahri-Nui, or n underwater city on Aqua Magma

 

Or go with just setting somewhere else in the Matoran Universe.

 

Here's a list of species that are at least partially aquatic that have very little characterization, and would be easy to work with as additional faucets to RPGs based on that theme -

 

- Amphibax's Species

- Ehlek's Species [Prime]

- Zyglak

 

Which, of course, means that we're going to see Zyglak Quest.

 

Oh, and one other thing. We're looking at the obvious theme, which is underwater. But last theme was underground, and the one before that was (I believe) an infection/plague whatever. So 2005, 2006. 2006 only spent a small fraction underground, even if it was the climax of the story that was spent down there.

 

There's plenty of other possible themes that could be drawn out of 2007 beyond just having it set underwater, after all.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#703 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 02:44 PM

Besides, I don't think there will be a lot of variety with the theme being underwater. It is more limiting than underground. I think it may have to do with something breaking out.


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#704 Offline More Fierce Than Fire

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Posted Apr 03 2013 - 04:05 PM

The breaking out idea sounds good. Might be something including warlords


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The bells were ringing in the dale

And men looked up with faces pale

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The dragon's ire more fierce than fire

Laid low their towers and houses frail


#705 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 21 2013 - 09:43 AM

This is my current idea for an RPG. If it can fit in the theme, I will submit it in the next contest. If not, the contest after that.

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Disruption[/font]

[color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]While we may have been the primary aggressors, we did not start this war. We are the [/color][/font]

[color=rgb(139,69,19);font-family:'times new roman', times, serif;]Stone Militia, and[/color] [color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]we fight for what is right. The Ta-Matoran raised taxes before [/color][/font]

[color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]this conflict [/color][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]began, and we Po-Matoran could not live with their undue tariffs. They were[/font][/font]

[color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]too high.We did the only thing we could. We attacked the Ta-Matoran. The first strike was[/color][/font]

[color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]the sinking of one of those fire-spitter's barges. We only meant to send them a message. But[/color][/font]

[color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]they took our attack much to far and retaliated in their own way. One thing turned to another, [/color][/font]

[color=#8b4513;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]and then we were in the middle of a war with the Le and Ko-Matoran as our great allies.[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]When this war began, we knew that both sides were wrong in their beliefs. No good[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]could have come from their senseless violence, and we saw this from the beginning.[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]We remained the loyal followers of the grand Turaga Mahili, ruler of Metru Nui. The[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]combatants blame her for the not stopping the war, but she knew neither side was[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]ust. We holed ourselves up in the Coliseum, trying to outlast the war. But it has been[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]many years, and we grow tired of hiding. Now, we will fight to the death in the new[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Vahki, great exo-suits that enhance the bearers, strength, allow flight and carry[/color][/font]

[color=#696969;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]powered staves that have varying powers.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]We are the innocents of this war. We are the Eastern Alliance. We were attacked[/color][/font]

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]by [/color][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]those Stone Militia swine. They attacked us and didn't expect us to retaliate[/font][/font]

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]against them. Our people were starving before this war began. We had to raise[/color][/font]

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]the costs of our goods to survive.We were not being greedy. In fact, we were acting[/color][/font]

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]just the opposite. Luckily for us, the Matoran of Earth, the Onu-Matoran saw that[/color][/font]

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]we are the just side in the war, and allied with us. Soon, the Ga-Matoran followed [/color][/font]

[color=#b22222;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]suit. [/color][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]We are a formidable force. We will fight, and we will win![/font][/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]War... is always profitable. We are the people of the grand island of Nynrah and[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Xia, commonly referred to as the 'Traders' by the people fighting this war. And[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]we are fine with that characterization. We have full hold over an island [/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]south of Metru Nui, off the coast of which we float three barges. We sell finest [/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]weapons to all three forces in this war. Our weapons are the most advanced[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]tools you can use in this war. You want something good? Come to us.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Plot Summary[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]This RPG takes place in the middle of the Great Matoran Civil War. There are four major forces in the fighting: The Stone Militia, the Eastern Alliance, the Turaga's Loyalists, and the Traders. The island of Metru Nui is divided in the battles. A note to players of the game: The technology of the game is closer to the technology used in the current storyline than as it would properly be if using the actual timeline of the RPG. This was done to make the battles more exciting, as according to the timeline of the Matoran Universe, the Matoran did not have any major technological advancements.[/font]

 

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Locations[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Onu-Metru: Wedged in between Po and Ko Metrus, Onu Metru is a constant battlefield. Despite this, it is mainly used as the base for the Eastern Alliance forces, which might actually be why so many battles are fought here. The Archives have been converted into the center of operations for the Eastern Alliance. Thanks to the maze-like structure of them, it was easy for the forces of one battle to retreat into it and wall themselves in. Most of the entrances in the other Metru's have been blocked off, though they are still used occasionally to launch surprise attacks. The surface of the Metru has been destroyed.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Ga-Metru: The research district for the Matoran of Fire, Earth and Water, this district is where any civilians live. It is the most peaceful of any of the districts controlled by the Eastern Alliance. All of the major advancements that the Eastern Alliance has made over the past two hundred years has come out of this district. It's pre-war position of a learning district made it the ideal candidate for weapons research.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Ta-Metru: The largest district in Metru-Nui, this district's purpose is the most varied. In fact, it has three distinct roles in the war. The first is to train new soldiers in the art of war and teach old ones new strategies. The second is to house the barracks for the soldiers, which is not a very big job, but important nonetheless. The third and final role is to mass produce new weapons for the same soldiers trained here to use when fighting. Once the weapon is devised and perfected in Ga Metru, it is mass produced here.Po-Metru: This Metru has a role very similar to that of Ta Metru. Make many weapons, train new soldiers and house the old ones. It also has an additional role similar to one of Ga Metru's: House the civilians. The numbers of the civilians of the Stone Militia are actually quite large, and are the ones responsible for making weapons, creating new ones, training soldiers and many support roles. This Metru is rather peaceful compared to the Metru's south of it.Ko-Metru: This is the king of innovation in all of Metru Nui. Before the Civil War began, it was already the center of advancement, so after the war began, it merely occupied the same niche it always did. The devices made here are very, very advanced, only rivaled by those bought from the Traders.Le-Metru: One of the major war zones of the conflict, the Metru of Air has been largely destroyed by the forces of the Eastern Alliance. The district still serves a distinct role for the Stone Militia: Make vehicles. Coming out of this Metru are giant flying machines, tanks and other vehicles of war.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Coliseum: The most heavily guarded place in all of Metru Nui, the grand arena is the base of the Turaga's Loyalists. All around it are giant walls, protecting it from the other two major sides of the war. On all of the walls and the outside of the main building are Cordak Blaster turrets, which will destroy anything that comes close to the Coliseum. Early in the war, the Loyalists were able to seal off the section of the Archives directly beneath it, and the Coliseum expands into them.The Trader's Island: A small island off the coasts of Ta Metru and Le Metru, the island is mostly inhabited by Nynrah Ghosts and Vortixx. All across the island, machines are whirring, creating new weapons of destruction. Floating in the ocean around the island are three large barges, which are used to actually sell the wares of the Traders. Letting the rival forces onto the same island would be much too dangerous, and would likely destroy the place.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Factions[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Stone Militia: Despite being called the Stone Militia, this factions forces do not solely consist of Po-Matoran, instead, that element founded it. The Le-Matoran joined as soon as the war began, and the Ko-Matoran after failing to broker a peace. They hold control over most of the western half of the island. They say that they would not have attacked if the Ta-Matoran did not raise taxes like they did.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Eastern Alliance: This faction says that they are the innocents of the war and could not have lived without raising the tariffs like they did. The Onu-Matoran saw this, and joined them soon after. The Ga-Matoran joined after finding out firsthand that they could not stay neutral. This side has full control over the east side of the city island.The Turaga's Loyalists: The followers of the former leader of all of Metru Nui, Turaga Mahili. They saw when the war began that neither side was just in their actions, and holed themselves up inside of the Coliseum. They developed grand exo-suits called the Vahki which enhance physical abilities and allow flight. Each model carries a unique staff. The models and their staves are: Nuurakh, whose staves make their victims obey one task; the Bordakh, the staves of which make the victim suddenly become a Turaga Loyalist; Vorzakh, inhibit ability to fight; Zadakh, allows the pilot of the Vahki to persuade the victim heavily; Rorzakh, tap into a victim's senses; and finally, Keerakh, heavily disorient the victim. If any Matoran of any the non main elements was living in Metru Nui, they are now a Loyalist.The Traders: Soon after the war began, the Nynrah Ghosts and Vortixx heard about it and hatched a plan. Provide advanced weapons to the fighters of the war regardless of their individual faction. They arrived in Metru Nui, looked for a base, and found their signature island. They settled on it, quickly erecting structures and buildings. They just want to make money, not fight a war.[/font] 

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Important NPCs:[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: Mahili[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Element and Faction: Female Turaga of Magnetism, Turaga's Loyalists[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: A small stick that ends in an axe blade. A Noble Akaku.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: A wise, fair leader. Wants to end the war.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Skills: Great leader, slight control over Magnetism, enhanced vision from Akaku.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Weaknesses: Her faction is the smallest in the war.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Background: Mahili used to be a Toa, and before that, a Matoran. She lived on the Southern Continent, and became a Toa when her local team sacrificed their power to make an astounding thirty six new Toa. They split up, with Mahili going to defend Metru Nui.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]She got to the great city, and became it's defender, protecting it from any forces of evil that tried to attack it. Eventually, she did as her Toa did, giving up her power to six new Matoran. She was transformed into a Turaga, and became the leader of Metru Nui.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]When the war broke out, she sided with neither side. The Ta-Matoran were starving, but the Po-Matoran could not bear the weight of the taxes. She took three days to try and think of a solution, and by the second day, a full out war had erupted. She had tried to stop the war, but it before she could, it had advanced too far.[/font]

 

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: Kornan[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Element and Faction: Male Ta-Matoran, Eastern Alliance[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: A long broadsword. This sword is made out of protosteel and always sharpened.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: Rash, a gambler, ends justify the means approach to war, brave. Plans are often risky gambles and head on attacks.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Skills: Good at leading on the front lines, great swordsman. He is very inspiring to his people.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Weaknesses: Because of his personality as a gambler, his plans are often high risk, high yield. If they fail, his army will be devastated.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Background: Kornan used to be a great military leader among the Matoran of an island south of Metru Nui. But even his great planning could not protect it against a Manas unleashed upon the island as a joke from a Makuta. Kornan and his Matoran fled to Metru Nui.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]When the war began, the Ta Matoran had heard of his great tales of bravery and made him their leader in a military government. He hates the Matoran of Air, Ice and Stone because they were some of the first to abandon his island when the Manas attacked. He associates all Matoran of those elements with those from his island.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: Triglii[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Element and Faction: Male Po-Matoran, Stone Militia[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: A long club with adorned with spikes. This is very heavy. It is also rather ornate and decorated.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: Sneaky, deceptive, trickster. He always tries to find different ways to get around something.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Skills: Good at thinking of creative strategies. He can create something that is very detailed and ornate.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Weaknesses: His strategies are often complex, and take a long time to come to fruition. They usually involve deception and trickery, with long term goals.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Background: Triglii has lived in Po-Metru all his life, and plans to continue to live in it for the rest of his life. He cares about his Metru deeply, and will fight to the tooth and nail to protect it. He worked as a stonemason, carving in complex ways before the war.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]He was always admired by his fellow crasftmen, and was actually the first to suggest attacking the Ta Matoran. In return for this, he was made the leader of the Stone Militia. All of the forces look up to him, admiring his work and strategies in the war. While the end result is not always clear at first, his forces trust him.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: Rexla[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Element and Faction: Female Vortixx, Traders[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: An abacus and a tablet used for bookkeeping.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: Greedy, always trying to make a profit. She couldn't care less about the war. She is also rather persuasive.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Skills: Persuading someone to buy something that they had no interest in buying beforehand. [/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Weaknesses: Can't fight to save her life. She never trained to be a fighter, and is a merchant queen.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Background: When the Matoran Civil War began, Rexla organized all of the trade guilds on Xia and had them come to Metru Nui. She found the Trader's Island, and turned it into the hub of activity it is today. She brokered a 'peace' between rival guilds.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Rexla discourages actually fighting in the war, as that could lead to injury, which, according to her, is 'not profitable'. Most of the Traders agree with her. For the most part, she and the rest of the Traders stay on their island or one of the nearby barges, selling their weapons.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Rules, Punishments and Rewards[/font]

  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]All BZPRPG and BZP rules are in effect here.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Do not godmod, autohit, bunny or metagame. This and the rule above it are pretty standard.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Respect any and all GMs. I am currently the only GM.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Use IC for in character posts, and OOC for out of character posts. Also, please keep OOC to a minimum in the gameplay topic. No OOC only posts in the gameplay topic at all.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Keep romance and comedy down to a minimum. This is war, not a bad sitcom or comedy.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Only Matoran or species with similar physical abilities and powers are allowed. This was done to balance fights. Toa are a reward for good behavior, however.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Please use proper spelling and grammar in your posts. It's not that hard people.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Killing other player's PCs is allowed. The flip side is that there is no autohitting. You have to let the other person fight.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]All profiles must be approved by staff. This is to ensure that you don't have all powerful characters.[/font]
  • [font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Have fun![/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Punishments:[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Punishments will only happen with the more serious rules. Breaking Rule Ten or the less serious rules will not be a Strike.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]1st Strike: You get a public warning.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]2nd Strike: One of your characters is seriously injured.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]3rd Strike: All of your characters are seriously injured. One is killed.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]4th Strike: All your characters save one are killed. The last is seriously injured.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]5th Strike: Your last character is killed. You are banned from the game.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Rewards:[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]For very good behavior, you will be rewarded with a Toa and an extra profile slot. You may turn an existing character into a Toa, or make a new one. Toa will have character creation rules exclusive to them, but use the same profile form. Fill it out like I did for Turaga Mahili, with Kanohi and powers in the same spots. The mask usage of a Toa will be decided upon a  case by case basis.[/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Profiles[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]You may have up to seven profiles, with an extra slot provided as a reward. I recommend filling up all of them because your characters can and will be killed. Use this sheet:[/font] 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Name: Make it Bionicle sounding.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gender, Element and Faction: Gender is not determined by element, faction is. If you are a Matoran of Fire, you can't be in the Stone Militia. If you're not of the main six, you're a Loyalist or a Trader.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Equipment: Be creative. The tech level is around the level in the current storyline. [/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Personality: How does your character act?[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Skills: What makes your character stand out from the rest?[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Weaknesses: Your characters aren't perfect. They have to have one, exploitable weakness.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Background: Where your character came from, who they are and the like.[/font]


Edited by Canis Lupus, Jun 14 2013 - 05:26 PM.

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I used to have a banner here.

 

But that RPG is dead.

 

What now?


#706 Offline Rhaegar Targaryen

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Posted Apr 21 2013 - 12:56 PM

First things first. It's a decent RPG with some potential. I like the way you opened it, and the fact that you're taking a little-used period of MU history and making it your own. However, it has two problems. 

 

It would be better if you changed the title, as there was an RPG of the same name a couple of years ago. The factional names should be made to be more unique, Po-Le-Ko alliance doesn't have much of a ring of say, "The Stonemason's Pact', for instance.


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709px Rob rhaegar winterfell (200x169)
 
"Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died."

 

BZPRPG 2013 Profiles

Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Junyaus-Larikon Torchbearer-Jorruk YokinMons Shajs-Senavysh Angavur-Vulunos-Shivada-Sukot urn Voyuk

The Brotherhood of Ak'rei'an


#707 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted Apr 21 2013 - 01:21 PM

I was at a lost for a name actually. I'll change it, but I need ideas.

 

For the names of the factions, the Po-Le-Ko are also of Air and Ice. Ta-Onu-Ga will become the Eastern Alliance. I need a new name for the Po-Le-Ko though.


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#708 Offline Geardirector

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Posted May 06 2013 - 04:32 AM

Legolover, I really like your idea, it sounds really cool. That's all I have to say, really.


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#709 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted May 06 2013 - 06:30 AM

Legolover, I really like your idea, it sounds really cool. That's all I have to say, really.

Legolover hasn't posted here for a while. What idea are you referring to?


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I used to have a banner here.

 

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What now?


#710 Offline Geardirector

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Posted May 06 2013 - 06:35 AM

Legolover, I really like your idea, it sounds really cool. That's all I have to say, really.

Legolover hasn't posted here for a while. What idea are you referring to?

 

My mistake, the idea I was referring to is this one


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#711 Offline The Lorax

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Posted May 06 2013 - 02:22 PM

Techna has already won a contest and run for two seasons. This was quite a while ago. I'm not sure that a second sequel is planned at all, but it might be making a return. Who knows?


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#712 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted May 06 2013 - 11:12 PM

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]I'm looking for three things -[/font]

 

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]1. How can I change this RPG to make it more like a Bionicle RPG?[/font]

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]2. How can I clean up the writing?[/font]

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]3. What do I need to reorganize.[/font]

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Anything else is appreciated, but I really need that stuff to be commented on.[/font][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Hotel Artahka[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]H[/color]ow did I get here?”[/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Well my friend, you brought this on yourself. Rain or shine, day or night, the doors to Hotel Artahka are open – and you came walking in. Soldiers and deserters; bounty hunters and thieves; all are welcome in the Hotel, so long as you’re not too disruptive. But if you were that disruptive, you wouldn’t have found yourself in the nicest area of the largest port city of the Southern Continent. Complete with a nice view of the ocean and a well cared for cemetery across the street.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The employees treated you well, and room service was excellent. Plenty of people were around for you to talk to, and no matter how many people you crammed in the dining hall, it always felt roomy. That all changed three hours ago, of course.[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]It was the middle of the night, and you were in your room. Then you heard the screams; deathly wails emanating through the halls, forming a piercing din that awoke even the heaviest sleepers. A few remained in their rooms, but you were among the ones who opened the doors – and saw what was outside.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The walls were painted red in blood, and bodies acted as replacements where paintings once hung. The only workers of the hotels were hung on the wall, skewered by spikes. But they were not the only ones – fellow guests, ones who were gambling in the conference rooms just yesterday, were among them. A chill descended upon the hotel at that moment.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]People ran. They tried to escape the first chance they had; all that mattered was survival. But no measure of running worked. The stairways twisted, the elevators were broken, and the hallways simply led people in a massive circle. Some formed into groups, but the numbers began to drop almost immediately.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]There is no exit.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]W[/color]here am I?”[/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]To elaborate, this place was a paradise quite deserving its name – Hotel Artahka. It is located within Pheosus, the largest port city in the Southern Continent, and one of the largest trade hubs south of Metru-Nui since the fall of the Barraki thirty millennia ago. Because of this, many have found themselves as guests here.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]And so what if you didn’t have enough money to go to so luxury a place? Just open a tab – the only time you ever had to pay was when you left, so one could simply just sneak out rather than check out. At least, that was the chain of thought.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]At the moment, there’s only two places you know about for sure – the hallway, and the rooms. The halls pose their own challenges, what with other guests and the occasional strange sounds that suggest something else is in the darker corners. And on the subject of darkness, there’s very little light left, save the dim glow from the few remaining bulbs. One can see, but not very accurately or for very far.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The rooms, on the other hands, are a mixed bag. Some are still being used as places of residency by other guests, and that aside are safe enough. Others are not. Many of these places are horrifying murder scenes, with the guests who once lived there subjected to rather creative deaths. Others are… just different. People go in, but simply walk through to another hall in the hotel. Others vanish, though those who follow do not.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Within both, teleportation is nearly impossible. It is likely that whatever is causing the warps within the rooms is causing a dimensional disruption. Attempting to teleport further than a couple Bio result in the shift not working for the lucky; for those who are less fortunate, it can lead to random transport across the Hotel or cause a person to discorporate.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]There are a few other areas that are known, but where they are isn’t something you know yet. Kitchens, dining halls, conference rooms, storage rooms, reception… or the lobby, Mata-Nui wouldn’t that be a blessing, where one may try to find their way out of the hotel.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Three hours have passed since midnight, when you first learned about the mass murder in the hotel. Or at least, that’s what it feels like. That’s what the clocks would like you to think.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]W[/color]hat am I supposed to do?”[/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Survival is the primary goal; getting out is priority number two.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Those come to mind for most, but not all. There are a few who are more interested in trying to figure out what happened here. Others are trying to take advantage of the situation. Some just want to get their hands on a few interesting supplies that they could use to stay here for the long haul.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]What are you supposed to do? That’s for you to decide for yourself.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][/color]W[/font]ho am I?”

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The first question a person is asked when they come to the hotel. The proper sheets to file your information out on look something like this.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Name: (What your characters name is.)[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Gender: (What your characters gender is.)[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Species: (What your characters species and elemental affiliation [if applicable] are.)[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Appearance: (What your character looks like.)[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Abilities: (Your characters powers, abilities, and weaknesses.)[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Equipment: (What equipment your character has.)[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Biography: (Your characters backstory and personality, which must include flaws!)[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]While we’re on that subject, I’d advise you follow the basic rules of conduct the hotel was so fond of. The first time people break the rules, something bad usually happens to them. The second time, it only gets worse. And the third time? We never see them again. Mata-Nui save a person who, given the opportunity, would do it a fourth time. People don’t take too kindly to this stuff.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]1. Follow the Basic Zones of Pheosus (BZP) Rules & Guidelines.[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]2. Try to speak clearly, using proper grammar and enunciation whenever possible.[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]3. Do not physically harm or kill another person without their permission.[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]4. Do not perform any actions in a god-like mode; that is, a ‘god-mode’.[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]5. Use appropriate conversation matters. The Lobby is traditionally the place for ‘Discussion Topics’ where people can talk about what’s happening outside the hotel. The Hotel itself has two modes of talking – actually being yourself (OOC) or being someone else (IC).[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]6. There’s only one of you, and when you die, your friends would be awfully suspicious of an identical copy of you appearing afterwards. It’s not happening. However, a new person may take your place.[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]7. Submit your Profile in the Lobby. Remember that it is possible to be denied entry, and the Manager has the final say. Once you have your stamp from the Lobby, place it in the Main Offices.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"] W[/color]ho are you?”[/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Name’s Levacius Zehvor and I’ve written character profiles twice as long as the above RPG, so let’s expand a bit. Just a note, in case you didn’t get it – the stuff in Arial is meant to be out-of character, the stuff in Times New Roman is in-character. And some of the Arial stuff is only 50% out-of character, such as the rules list.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Let’s clarify some stuff, now that we’re out of character[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]God-moding means, as it always does – don’t autohit, don’t dodge every strike, don’t bunny, don’t use a power you don’t have, don’t pull out equipment you didn’t have before, don’t complain that somebody else breaking the rules means you can (it’s not your job). And you’d better be willing to play stuff straight – the bodies reaction to getting shot is not to shoot back, it’s a mixture of shock and incredible pain. Do not break character and personality either, because that is also godmoding. So yeah. Oh, and don’t meta-game.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]When creating characters, I’m the final judge. However, ask yourself – is this character too powerful? If the answer is yes, don’t submit it. If the answer is maybe, don’t submit it. Then ask – does this character severely break canon? Same thing. No Legendary Masks, no divine premonitions from Mata-Nui, no playing a Makuta... stuff like that is a no-no.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]And on the subject of creating characters – you only have one. When they die, they can be replaced of course. But this is your only character you have, so make sure you do good with them while they’re alive. Because you only have one character, if they go over 48 hours (possibly less, depending on the rate of posting) without a person replying to you then I will help get you out of that situation if you desire to be released.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Your characters are actively being sought after to be killed or worse, but if you play it smart, and make use of your characters strengths, you will survive – possibly to the end of the RPG. If your character is alive, there is still a way out. You’re dead the moment you’re not.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Now finally it’s the credits. For the most part, I’d like to thank three sets folks – the folks who made the Phantasm movies, the folks who wrote the Doctor Who episode ‘The God Complex’, and the folks in the band Eagles, because the song Hotel California was my inspiration to trap a bunch of people in a hotel and see how long they last. The three references above should act as a literary tool called foreshadowing.[/color][/font]

 

[color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]I’d also like to thank all of the other folks I’ve GMed for or played with, because you’re pretty cool folks. Usually.[/color][/font]

 

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][color=#000000;][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Levacius Zehvor[/color][/font][/font]


Edited by Toa Levacius Zehvor, May 06 2013 - 11:12 PM.

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#713 Offline -JL-

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Posted May 08 2013 - 12:58 AM

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;color:rgb(71,11,4);"]Wow! This is an RPG that, if playable, I would take part in. It seems interesting enough. [/font]

 

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;color:rgb(71,11,4);"]I don't think I have enough experience to answer the questions, but what I think would be good is to still allow freedom. No wandering out of the Hotel (Which I hope is pretty big) but no 'Walk 5 steps and space-time glitch' as well. And also, more 'links' to the main canon story. Otherwise, it may just turn into an RPG involving bio-mechanical creatures.[/font]


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#714 Offline Click

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Posted May 08 2013 - 06:16 PM

I also had an idea for an RPG that eventually just turned into a short story, but I'd like to get it posted sometime. Basically, it takes place in an alternate universe similar to the Kingdom universe, where Matoro failed in his mission but managed to return home to Metru Nui, where the Matoran were so frustrated, they stoned him to death on the beach. This began a long distrust of Toa by the Matoran, and they sent all of the Toa out of Metru Nui to the crumbling Mata Nui or other MU islands. The Matoran thrived in the meantime, and established their own defense and trade. Slowly, though, the MU decayed, and Matoran began disappearing when one Archivist found the "brain" of Mata Nui, which, when touched, sends the being in digital form to a Tron-esque world known as Mindscape. Teridax has already found it though, in his attempts to take over Mata Nui, and rules over the realm, trapping unknowing Matoran into slavery. The RPG kicks off when a Fe-Matoran finds his way in, which will be one of the staff characters, and another Matoran gives him a Toa Stone brought from the main world. The RPG will be the fight to bring Makuta down in Mindscape, but will offer a lot more possibilities, being a world made up of a combination of technology and thoughts, except no one can be Toa, besides those chosen by staff.

 

What do you think? Should I work on it a bit more?


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#715 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted May 08 2013 - 08:16 PM

@Levacius: About your RPG-

In general: Why can't we, say, make a giant fist of rock, earth and iron and smash down the walls and windows? What's going on outside? This hotel ain't so great if we don't have good views, after all.

To make in more Bionicle-ly: Give us at least some reason why this is all happening, or at least the good old ominous, 'GET OUT' written on the wall in blood. And make the reason Bioniclely. Next, have us here the screams of Rahi, and there be Rahi roaming the hotel.

 

And at the end of the RPG have us all get out horrendously scarred and insane.

 

 

@Click: The universe took a mere three days to break down after Mata Nui died. Better idea: The Toa Nuva couldn't wake Mata Nui up, but he's still alive. The brain is found, and Mata Nui can be awoken from there. Teridax can also take control there, so he wants to find a MacGuffin to do so.


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#716 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted May 08 2013 - 10:43 PM

[font="'Bookman Old Style';font-size:14px;"]In general: Why can't we, say, make a giant fist of rock, earth and iron and smash down the walls and windows? What's going on outside? This hotel ain't so great if we don't have good views, after all.[/font]

 

You, unfortunately, did not have a room with a window. There are plenty of rooms with balconies, but the twisting labyrinth the Hotel has become has made it impossible for you to find them. And breaking down the walls just brings another way to get into a room, because there is a room behind pretty much every wall due to the Hotel's design. At least, the way it is now. Or perhaps not. You can try to bust a giant row through the walls, and see what happens. But making that much noise might not be a good idea.

 

What's going on outside... wouldn't you like to know? You'll have to figure that out for yourself.

 

Hmm. Rahi might work, but... ooh. Ooh. Now I know what will work.

 

Now, as far as getting out of the Hotel... that's another story.

 

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;color:rgb(71,11,4);"]I don't think I have enough experience to answer the questions, but what I think would be good is to still allow freedom. No wandering out of the Hotel (Which I hope is pretty big) but no 'Walk 5 steps and space-time glitch' as well. And also, more 'links' to the main canon story. Otherwise, it may just turn into an RPG involving bio-mechanical creatures.[/font]

 

The Hotel has no definite size.

 

The premise is being trapped in a hotel. The goal is to getting out. Cleverness will let you escape. The strange shifting and the fact heading a certain order down hallways is part of the puzzle.

 

I acknowledge the fact that it strays far from canon story; that's my main objective to correct.

 

~~~

 

@ Click; I'll try to get some kind of response to you later, but not at the moment.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#717 Offline Click

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Posted May 08 2013 - 10:44 PM

I guess I can't just have the MU reinforced like the Kingdom Alternate Universe, because I banished all the Toa. :D I'll work on it.
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#718 Offline Geardirector

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Posted May 09 2013 - 01:45 AM

OK, so I have this idea for an RPG setting. For now, what I've got is this:

 

After the Great Cataclysm, instead of the main universe plan, the Makuta unleashed a wave of conquest instead. Resistance was repeadetly crushed, until several species joined together into some form of coalition that managed to cling to the northernmost landmasses of the MU: Metru Nui, Stelt, Karzahni and the Northen Continent (with the exception of the Tren Krom Peninsula).

 

How did they manage to do this? Well, first of all, both Trinuma's, Axonn's, Brutaka's, Botar's and Hydraxon's species are all part of this coalition, in addition to Matoran, Toa, Lesterin and a couple others.

 

Second, thanks to the brave efforts of the Toa Mata, Makuta Teridax was kidnapped and his essence placed in a vat in the deepest dungeon on Metru Nui. Because of this, the remaining Makuta have been struggling to fill the power vacuum, leaving the coordinated attack on the "Federation of Freedom" as the coalition calls itself, in disarray.

 

MAJOR STORYLINE DIFFERENCES

 

- Karzahni wasn't incompetent, nor insane, and continues his job dutifully to this day.

- Spiriah's regained control of Zakaz by fighting his way to the top as a gladiator. Being a Makuta, it was fairly easy. Consequently, Spiriah is still part of the BoM.

- The Toa Mata died in their capture of Teridax, so waking up Mata Nui isn't happening anytime soon.

 

I'll keep working on it, but this is the general outline, tell me what you think of it.


Edited by Geardirector, May 09 2013 - 01:47 AM.

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#719 Offline Toa Levacius Zehvor

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Posted May 09 2013 - 08:18 AM

Good morning internet.

 

I guess I can't just have the MU reinforced like the Kingdom Alternate Universe, because I banished all the Toa. :D I'll work on it.

 

Another thing to consider - banishing the Toa would be a bit harder than you let on. How do you get the majority of Matoran to turn about the people who have been their heroes since the time before time... and who just happen to have enough raw power to devastate the better part of an entire island.

 

After the Great Cataclysm, instead of the main universe plan, the Makuta unleashed a wave of conquest instead. Resistance was repeadetly crushed, until several species joined together into some form of coalition that managed to cling to the northernmost landmasses of the MU: Metru Nui, Stelt, Karzahni and the Northen Continent (with the exception of the Tren Krom Peninsula).

 

How did they manage to do this? Well, first of all, both Trinuma's, Axonn's, Brutaka's, Botar's and Hydraxon's species are all part of this coalition, in addition to Matoran, Toa, Lesterin and a couple others.

 

Second, thanks to the brave efforts of the Toa Mata, Makuta Teridax was kidnapped and his essence placed in a vat in the deepest dungeon on Metru Nui. Because of this, the remaining Makuta have been struggling to fill the power vacuum, leaving the coordinated attack on the "Federation of Freedom" as the coalition calls itself, in disarray.

 

MAJOR STORYLINE DIFFERENCES

 

- Karzahni wasn't incompetent, nor insane, and continues his job dutifully to this day.

- Spiriah's regained control of Zakaz by fighting his way to the top as a gladiator. Being a Makuta, it was fairly easy. Consequently, Spiriah is still part of the BoM.

- The Toa Mata died in their capture of Teridax, so waking up Mata Nui isn't happening anytime soon.

 

I'll keep working on it, but this is the general outline, tell me what you think of it.

 

I think you may want to include Daxia and drop Stelt in your equation of who's part of the 'Federation'.

 

To put this in simple terms - what the heck is a Lesterin? To put it in actual terms - I've never played the BZPRPG and I probably won't ever, but if I'm not mistaken that's a custom species from said game. Why, exactly, is it here? I have no problem with adding species, but if you're going to add something like that in, don't just casually mention it. Explain who and why.

 

I can understand a protodermis cage, but how did they stick Teridax in a vat? I also can't understand the power vaccum. It seemed very clear that if Teridax was gone, Icarax would take over and just crush all resistance. And as long as he said he was trying to free Teridax, Makuta like Gorsat would still side with him.

 

These are all minor issues of things that just seem like they could be explained a little better. The idea is sound, if tried. You also need to add in something special to the final project. What makes this different from every other Order vs. Brotherhood type situation? What has never been done before? Stuff like that is what will win out.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:


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#720 Offline Canis Lycaon

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Posted May 09 2013 - 02:56 PM

How did they manage to do this? Well, first of all, both Trinuma's, Axonn's, Brutaka's, Botar's and Hydraxon's species are all part of this coalition, in addition to Matoran, Toa, Lesterin and a couple others.

The only problem I have with your RPG is in this line. Let's go over powers"

 

Trinuma: No powers other than ability to wear Kanohi.

Axonn: We don't know which abilities are from his species and which are from the Order

Brutaka: Only powers were incredible strength (Which likely wasn't so good before the Order came), energy blasts and stasis field dissipation. Same as Axonn as well.

Botar: We get to God-moderator? YEAH!

Hyrdaxon: Absolutely no powers. At all.

Lesterin: THIS ISN'T A CANON SPECIES! AH!


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