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There is no "just" or "little" about this. People went to it because a spirit's wish is a person's deepest desire, the thing which, by definition, they would give up anything else to have. Also remember that the wishes need not always be selfish, and that the destination dimensions would probably also contain a wisher's loved ones. They would be the same people that they care about, just with a few different experiences. Finally on the selfishness point - is it not worse to ask your friends to stay along with you, and deny them a shot at their deepest desires?

 

They may be the same people, but you're still dimension hopping, and you're still leaving people behind. The people on the other side are not the same people as on the side, because the dimension you came from, and all of its people, still exist.

 

Yes, but they're not the one asking. You are. And you're leaving people behind, unless every single person would leave - and they wouldn't.

 

(But first, a quick stop-off on the war/control point - there is no point in any group controlling the archway. The characters who might get control of the archway would, by definition, want whatever was on the other side of it more than they would want to stay and control the wish, so they walk though. Then they are gone, and no longer controlling who has access to the archway.)

 

Not every group would want to use it. Some might wish to study it. Others destroy. So on, so forth. Unless the Wish can just telekinetically drag people through, there would be

 

You're quite right, I haven't put much effort into making things mysterious here. This was on purpose. It was not meant to be mysterious. I am now coming to the end of RPing four months of mystery in CitD, so I've had my fill of that, and there will always be other places I can get mystery when I want it and can handle it better. This game is not about exploring mysteries, it is about travelling through the BIONICLE multiverse, constantly running from reality-destroying calamities while trying to find a way to combat them along the journey. And dealing with whatever gets thrown at them in the dimensions that they travel through. Adventure and action and the key words here.

 

There's a huge difference between wanting to relieve mystery and handing out meta-game knowledge. I'm not exactly good about that myself, and self-awareness tends to give a new perspective on these things. The point is, the player shouldn't know more than the character does. Especially since some players, especially new ones, will attempt to incorporate that knowledge into their characters in some way (again, something I can attest to having been guilty of in the past).

 

This is exactly the reason why I had to put those three sentences in. The end was messy, and saying it never  was the quickest, cleanest way to deal with that and move on. Stating very briefly and generically that all that stuff in the serials never happened frees us from having to wonder how all those unresolved things might affect our characters and opens up the characters involved in those for PC-ification and involvement in the game plot.

 

Show, don't tell.

 

As stated above, this stuff is not the point of the RPG. It is just background to the backstory, so I don't feel the need to go into huge depth on exactly how it all happened. Who cares what repercussions it had on Spherus Magna when those are now all irrelevant. Everyone left that world and the only repurcussions that matter now, for the game, are that everyone ended up in Vezonland and the multiverse is deeply broken. Those, I explained in some depth.

 

And what? The characters have all been massively screwed over! They got a short amount of time getting exactly what they wanted (or thought they wanted), only to have it all torn away from them by something they had no idea was coming and couldn't control. I'm not sure what you mean by them being "too late".

 

Too late through the Gate, that is. The way I interpreted it, the Gate had transported too many people, and instead started chucking people into Vezonland. Or is that incorrect?

 

And regardless of how much information you want to give, it's not necessary. Only information which is known or needed by the characters should be provided.

 

The multiverse bit is outside of what any character knows about for the moment, but I think it needs to be there all the same. It is, after all, where most of the game will take place, so players need to know about what they would be getting into, and judges need it to be able to evaluate the game. Not having that section included would be like writing up a game set on Mata Nui and then having the action move to Voya Nui a week into the game with no prior hints at that.

 

I'd recommend, then, that you simply utilize a simple "multiverse" heading rather than the "Settings" one, with some sort of explanation of the multiverse at large, followed by Vezonland, the only alternate universe explored thus far.

 

As I said to Silvan above, I think a game can handle 2-3 groups if they are managed properly. One group of Lost that leaves, one group of Shadows to chase them, and another group of whoever is left in Vezonland, to try and kill Vezon or whatever. Who ends up in what group can be determined by, as you say, differences in the characters' priorities and ideals, clashing personalities and all that good stuff. That doesn't preclude conflict within the groups either. In fact, I expect it. Since it will be almost impossible for PCs to reunite in Vezonland with the people they knew and associated with on Spherus Magna, they may be forced into teaming up with people they don't totally like or agree with. And that will be fun.

 

You sound fairly sure about how the group dynamics will form. From experience? It never works out as cleanly as you expect. In any case, unless you're going to start allowing players to kill each other off, having the Shadows be PCs just kills off dramatic tension - better to have pursuers fall under the "GM controlled, murderous NPC" category.

 

Sorry for the brevity of discussion, but I'm in a bit of a hurry. Good luck working.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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From my view of it, it seems a bit uncontrollable.

 

First of all, if you are counting some fan made dimensions, and all the pre-existing dimensions, that leaves you with a lot of room to take care of. It would make you much, much more busy than in citd. There, you did a fraction of what you will have to do, and eventually narrowed it down to about five people who were significant. in this, however, you played it in reverse. You'll start everyone off as a giant group, but it seems they will eventually wander off, and may "accidentally" come up with story pieces that don't make sense(like I did, sorry about that), and then you have to rush around fixing everything until it's in proper order. With everything as it is, and only you knowing the actual point of it all, it seems very hard to do it by yourself.

 

 

Now that I'm done criticizing you, i'll praise you. First of all, having Vezon as the main villain in all of this is incredible. With an insane mind like his to work with, your limits are very, very far off. Second, on my earlier statement: If you think that you have the ability to track everyone across different dimensions all while plotting more for them to fall through, then congratulations! You are very talented, Lorax, and despite this being the critic section, I wish you the best of luck!

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Levacius: I think the amount of meta-knowledge we got was pretty good. If he got rid of the amount of stuff you want everybody would spend the first six months of the game bumbling around wondering what in the world is going on. Not every game needs to be a mystery.

 

ghidora: I doubt that Lorax plans on sending the players to a dozen different dimensions all at once. They all start in roughly the same place, get the chance to form groups and then are sent on adventures.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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From my view of it, it seems a bit uncontrollable.

 

 

Silvan hits the nail on the head. Just because many different dimensions exist, doesn't mean there will be PCs in all of them at once. Since olmaks will not be immediately available (see Silvan's first response), dimensional travel will only take place as part of interaction with plot stuff. A group that forms in Vezonland might escape into Karda Nui, go from there into the Kingdom, get sucked through a Fall into the Battle of Bara Magna and then dragged back to Vezonoand by a bunch of Shadows, but they would do all of it as a group. This means I only need to be looking after one group of characters and one set of NPCs at a time. I think that doing this for 2-3 groups is within my abilities as a GM.

 

In any case, unless you're going to start allowing players to kill each other off, having the Shadows be PCs just kills off dramatic tension - better to have pursuers fall under the "GM controlled, murderous NPC" category.

 

 

The Shadows are not murderous. They only want to bring the Lost back to Vezonland, which, from my perspective, is completely possible within the game in a way that killing them would not be. This is why they are playable: they are not prevented from achieving their goal by plot. That and I thought they would make fun characters to play.

 

You sound fairly sure about how the group dynamics will form. From experience? It never works out as cleanly as you expect. 

 

 

This is true, but in very broad terms, I can make some reasonable predictions. I don't think it would be too much to ask to get a group of beings who want to escape Vezonland, a group of Shadows, and a group who doesn't want to escape. Whatever the dynamics happen to be within those groups, I can work with whatever comes up.

 

Too late through the Gate, that is. The way I interpreted it, the Gate had transported too many people, and instead started chucking people into Vezonland. Or is that incorrect?

 

 

Incorrect. Here is the relevant bit:

...each and every traveler who had walked through the Spirit’s Wish was ripped from their new dimension and catapulted back, not to their original home on Spherus Magna, but to the place that had started it all: Vezon’s insane pocket dimension.

 

Everyone who went through the archway got their wish, and then everybody was pulled back to Vezonland. Everybody get screwed over, no matter how early or late they used the archway.

 

 

There's a huge difference between wanting to relieve mystery and handing out meta-game knowledge. I'm not exactly good about that myself, and self-awareness tends to give a new perspective on these things. The point is, the player shouldn't know more than the character does. Especially since some players, especially new ones, will attempt to incorporate that knowledge into their characters in some way (again, something I can attest to having been guilty of in the past).

 

 

 
If I were to remove from the game everything that the characters won't know or be sure of from the start, I would not have much of a game left, and that game wouldn not be representative of what would be RPed. It would be like if, in Trapped in a Map, our characters had escaped the map after two weeks and then spent the rest of the three months playing a massive alkilini tournament. It would be lying to the people who signed up to play the game about what they would be playing.
 
To keep with the TiaM analogy (since that is a recent game that both of us played and liked) I'm not greatly worried about people using the information presented here when making their characters. In that game, we knew from the beginning of the game, though our characters didn't, that there really was a way out of the Map, and it would be discovered soon. So we made characters to take advantage of those facts, giving them means and motivation to take advantage. Your faction of Inquisitors was a response to the OOC knowledge that there would be conflict between the Worshippers and the Disruptors. 
 
These were not bad things to do. We weren't giving characters extra knowledge or having them act out of character. We were just making characters who were suited to the world of the game and would be able to interact strongly with the story. There is nothing wrong with this, in my view. If people want to make characters who would be equipped (in terms of personality and backstory) to deal with interdimensional journeying and play them, that's fine. It's the same as wanting to play a detective character in a mystery RPG - playing characters appropriate to the setting.
 
If things cross in actual metagaming where characters know things they shouldn't, I can deal with that as it comes up. I'm going to trust players not to do that, and since the characters will be finding out a lot fairly quickly, hope that they won't feel the need to.

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Levacius: I think the amount of meta-knowledge we got was pretty good. If he got rid of the amount of stuff you want everybody would spend the first six months of the game bumbling around wondering what in the world is going on. Not every game needs to be a mystery.

 

The main issue is that there's better ways to present that information. Tying it into the main body of the RPG, in a way which doesn't break the flow, is essential. If your opening paragraph handwaves canon events, they're dead and gone, and you can now expand your RPG.

 

The Shadows are not murderous. They only want to bring the Lost back to Vezonland, which, from my perspective, is completely possible within the game in a way that killing them would not be. This is why they are playable: they are not prevented from achieving their goal by plot. That and I thought they would make fun characters to play.

 

Perhaps, until you take into account that your quirky mini-boss squad is likely to constantly interrupt the plot and keep the Lost from accomplishing their primary objective. Plus, when you have player battles on the scale of what you're describing, it's quite likely to last for a very long time.

 

Everyone who went through the archway got their wish, and then everybody was pulled back to Vezonland. Everybody get screwed over, no matter how early or late they used the archway.

 

In that case, I retract that argument. Apologies.

 

If I were to remove from the game everything that the characters won't know or be sure of from the start, I would not have much of a game left, and that game wouldn not be representative of what would be RPed. It would be like if, in Trapped in a Map, our characters had escaped the map after two weeks and then spent the rest of the three months playing a massive alkilini tournament. It would be lying to the people who signed up to play the game about what they would be playing.

 

To keep with the TiaM analogy (since that is a recent game that both of us played and liked) I'm not greatly worried about people using the information presented here when making their characters. In that game, we knew from the beginning of the game, though our characters didn't, that there really was a way out of the Map, and it would be discovered soon. So we made characters to take advantage of those facts, giving them means and motivation to take advantage. Your faction of Inquisitors was a response to the OOC knowledge that there would be conflict between the Worshippers and the Disruptors.

 

There's a way out, and based on your description of the Shadows, a way back. NPCs, maybe even PCs (perhaps you could allow one or two players to make a PC with this experience, to keep them from wandering through Vezonland too long?), could have escaped from Vezonland beforehand, and brought back information about the Multiverse. That provides a way to explain things without meta-knowledge. And as I suggested, it's better to keep "Multiverse" as an overall "Settings" category, with "Vezonland" being the only one described thus far.
These were not bad things to do. We weren't giving characters extra knowledge or having them act out of character. We were just making characters who were suited to the world of the game and would be able to interact strongly with the story. There is nothing wrong with this, in my view. If people want to make characters who would be equipped (in terms of personality and backstory) to deal with interdimensional journeying and play them, that's fine. It's the same as wanting to play a detective character in a mystery RPG - playing characters appropriate to the setting.
 
If things cross in actual metagaming where characters know things they shouldn't, I can deal with that as it comes up. I'm going to trust players not to do that, and since the characters will be finding out a lot fairly quickly, hope that they won't feel the need to.

 

You must realize there is a major difference between a mystery RPG and an RPG which has mystery. Every story needs to have unknowns. They need not even be hard to guess ones. Further, any information which does not enrich the story serves no purpose, and should be removed. In this case, the socio-economic conditions of Spherus Magna are more relevant to the story than how Spirit's Wish was created; one is a driving factor for characters to flee their old lives, the other has no effect on the plot, save for explaining why we have one. And frankly, that doesn't matter.

 

To continue using Trapped in a Map- do we ever learn how the Map was made? Or why? There's a lot never said, because it doesn't need to be said. It doesn't affect the characters in any way. How the Carver acquired the Map is known, because the one who sold it to him is in the Map; the only thing which is given from the start is the Mask of Namevision, which I used as a character motivation because, hey, why not? The difference there, of course, being that the Carver and his equipment could at least be hinted at; there's no way to determine how the Wish was created.

 

Some things don't need to be known. Some questions don't need answers.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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I haven't browsed here for a while, I have a question in-line with the "what is in vogue" question phrased a page or so back.

 

That being; are RPGs nowadays typically in their own canon, or are more based on offshoots of the main bionicle canon? Last time I frequented here we had a lot of RPGs that were either in completely original worlds or were, at most, tenuously connected to the actual canon. Especially along the lines of species creation, I read a lot more nowadays about controlling the amount of characters that are Toas, from the dark hunters, etc.

 

Also, it sure seems the "there are 6-12 kanohi/artifacts spread out, here are some riddles, go find them!" setup isn't too popular nowadays >_>

...but close to it

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Also, it sure seems the "there are 6-12 kanohi/artifacts spread out, here are some riddles, go find them!" setup isn't too popular nowadays >_>

 

I would still approve a game like this so fast

 

-Tyler

SAY IT ONE MORE TIME 

TELL ME WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND

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That being; are RPGs nowadays typically in their own canon, or are more based on offshoots of the main bionicle canon? Last time I frequented here we had a lot of RPGs that were either in completely original worlds or were, at most, tenuously connected to the actual canon. Especially along the lines of species creation, I read a lot more nowadays about controlling the amount of characters that are Toas, from the dark hunters, etc.

 

The rule of the day is "alternate universes" with generally only a few (usually big) changes. Other RPGs are actually set up so as to fall into and further expand weak points in canon story, especially with regards to historical events. Those set in the future, either closely or distantly, also pop up. Ones in completely distinct universes are incredibly rare (Masquerade is the closest to one of these I can think up).

 

There's always no-brainer exceptions, such as allowing males and females of any given element (, this last contest, I think I counted at least three normal and one Tumblr gender). I'd add on that, over the last few years, reproduction by MU inhabitants is common practice (usually not in-game, though I've seen a few amusing time-skips). In general, expect GMs to allowed much more "human" portrayals

 

With regards to species, it's hard to say. Toa are pretty common place, though.

 

Also, it sure seems the "there are 6-12 kanohi/artifacts spread out, here are some riddles, go find them!" setup isn't too popular nowadays >_>

 

Sounds good to me. The thing is, GMs seem intent on writing RPGs without a set ending, despite the fact that RPGs inevitably collapse over time. Having an end goal to achieve, with the actual intent of it being completed, sounds brilliant to me.

 

Now...

 

Well, while I wait for more feedback from the first RPG, i'll try again....

 

Don't think I forgot about this. :P

 

Eternal war: Doomsday

 

Now, before you go hatin' this one too, let me explain:

Eternal war involves a completely different storyline, but revolves around the same time zone. There will be a lot of similar elements involved, but it's not the same.

Here we go again:

 

It's not about hating, so much as pointing out weaknesses which need remedy.

 

This game revolves around the largest city ever constructed, even bigger than Metru nui. The city is known as Spherus nui, and is the main target of most of the remaining major forces on the planet. Despised by the order, and hated by the hunters, this city is filled  to the brim with Defenses, Weaponry, Energy supplies, and Hidden threats. Not to reveal too much data on this, but there is a completely new villain in this storyline, so don't expect to see Teridax any time soon(sob).

 

The entire city is lead by the Turaga council, and really controlled by Turaga Kihohiki. He is a stern, hot-headed intelligent Turaga who is famed for being the most powerful sound Toa history ever recorded. Even though his power is lowered, he is still strong enough to create near-inpenetrable sound shields of any size. He is the only one who knows what real threats exist against the city, and which ones are the most dangerous.

 

Now, the layout of the city is almost entirely accessible. You have the entire city's border, protected by a strong energy field created by generators inside the city. Then there is the Industrial District, in which the most massive amounts of steel are produced. The public area consists of all homes, parks, the well*, and much more. And the city center has the skyscrapers, all other businesses, the City shieldscraper(the tallest building in the city), and a little bit more. The one unprotected building in the city lies just on the outskirts of the energy field, which is the Ridicculum estate. It is by far the fanciest building in the entire city, and is one of the most important story-wise. Characters that enter the story start on the Outskirts, and can re-enter them to visit the Mountain, but it is very dangerous venturing so far, with ambushes that could occur, and possibly being stuck out until attacks on the city have temporarily ended.

 

I assume this is the idea proposal more than the write-up? In that case, I'll ignore the mechanics and focus more on the concepts.

 

First, if this city is so large, why do the two most powerful covert organizations hate it? Especially when those two organizations just happen to be the only ones with experience in things like toppling governments and controlling things from behind the scenes. And how exactly did it come to be?

 

Second, there's the issue of your incredibly powerful NPC hero, who you've devoted an entire paragraph towards. When discussing authority figures, it's important that you focus on the stories about them, and avoid giving objective levels of power. Especially ridiculous ones like yours has been given. In doing this, you approach dangerously close to Mary Sue territory.

 

Third, why is there a "fancy" building outside of the energy fields?

 

Fourth, and most important, is a note on how you've been presenting these RPGs. No offense, but I can picture you like a person holding a bunch of burning potatoes in your hands, bouncing them about and frequently just letting them out, instead of trying to set them down to the side nicely and taking them one by one. The burning potatoes, in this case, are pieces of your story, which you throw out constantly. Don't say who the bad guy is/isn't. Don't tell about what happens to players when they try something (giving rumors is fine). Don't tell how a place is "plot-important".

 

Tell us more about your setting. About the backstory behind it, from the characters points of view. That sort of thing.

 

With regards to your characters, I can't exactly say I'm impressed.

 

Now, the story characters. All we get here is brief depictions of one-dimensional characters, most of whom will be of no interest to the players. To determine the number of NPCs you need, just use the simple formula N=(1F)+(1S) where F is the number of factions and S is the number of story threads beyond. On average? Three. Too many more is a mess, unless you have a very good reason. And none of these have a good reason. Especially your "hints" at villains, which leaves me wondering why you did it.

 

As I mentioned last time, this species list is useless. But that's not my biggest concern - no, that's this line -

 

Something I think may be overpowered I will consult with the appropriate BZP staff to see what it is. No faking.

 

This is your RPG. You wrote it, you control it. The only people who matter are you and your players, who are agreeing to play your RPG in return for hoping you have an interesting story to offer them out of it. You decided what's overpowered, and you alone. If you have people acting as mods or co-staffing with you, you may also allow them that privilege.

 

I realize I may have been a bit critical, so I'll offer this - keep working at it. Your ideas aren't all bad, and while the execution at the moment is novice at best, it's still something which can be changed. That's what this topic is for; so we (older players/GMs) can offer our advice. There's not a single former or current GM posting on this topic who hasn't had their disappointments; an RPG rejected, failure at the voting booth, criticisms made, failures to keep an RPG going, etc. Heck, I've yet to write a "perfect" RPG, and at this point I certainly never will. So the "hating" you're going to deal with now will continue as long as you try writing RPGs, but it's not out of malice. It's a matter of wanting what's best.

[/inspiration]

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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The "go get the artifacts" thing happened in City of Legends in late 2013-early 2014 with the Geat Disks / Nui Stone fragments. It is not too common, but certainly not forgotten.

 

As for the canonicity of games, here is a brief summary of the entries in the last four contests. The ones in red were winners.

 

Parallel - Toa Levacius Zehvor - A not very canon story of Brotherhood servants who had traveled back in time to make sure that the Plan would succeed.
Outbreak - Canis Lycaon - A possible near-future of Spherus Magna, so canon issues are addressed but not crucial. Non-canon location.
Midnight City - Gravity - A Spherus Magna so far into the future that just about everything canon has been forgotten.
City in the Dark - The Lorax - Set in a non-canon location filling a gap in the Nui Stone's history, between its making and its coming to Tuyet. Either canon or alternate universe, depending on how things finish up.
Ultimate City of Ultimate Destiny - Fabulous Sunshine - Very set apart from canon. Set in its own world as an amalgamation of several others.
A Journey of Sand, Stars, and Spirit - JustZakaro - A possible medium-future of Spherus Magna, importance of canon not yet known as it is still being played.
 
Spirits of the Ice - The Otter - A non-canon story in a non-canon location. No canon characters were involved.
Sanctuary - Toatapio Nuva - A far-future of Spherus Magna. Canon is unimportant.
The Bubble - Ehks - A non-canon story in a non-canon location. No canon characters were involved.
Gangs of Metru Nui - .saorsa - A game set in an alternate future of Metru Nui. Some ties to canon.
Outbreak - Canis Lycaon - A possible near-future of Spherus Magna, so canon issues are addressed but not crucial. Non-canon location.
Sky/Fall - MjolnirInTheFridge - A far-future of Spherus Magna. Canon is unimportant.
Condemned - Shadowhawk - A far-future of Spherus Magna. Canon is unimportant.
Fallen from the Light - ZakarOh! - Possibly far-future of Spherus Magna? Canon is unimportant.
The Web - The Lorax - A game following the untold but canon story of the creation of the Visorak horde and its invasion of Tobduk's homeland.
The Legend of the Thirteenth Island - More Fierce Than Fire - A semi-canon history of the Southern Islands.
City of the Lost - Oryx - Difficult to say. Possibly an alternate Mahri Nui?
Maelstrom - Rhaegar Targaryen - An alternate future of the MU, set in Metru Nui.
 
The Bubble - The X - Non-canon location, story and characters.
Predicaments - Commander Obvious - Alternate future set on Metru Nui.
City of Legends - The Lorax - An alternate history of the Toa/Dark Hunter War on Metru Nui. Setup is almost entirely like canon, tough the outcome is not.
Disruption - Canis Lycaon - An alternate history of the Matoran Civil War on Metru Nui. Mostly like canon.
Marathon - Wazdakka - Far future of Spherus Magna. Not much canon involved.
The Legend of the Thirteenth Island - Lord of Adders Black - A semi-canon history of the Southern Islands.
Spirits of the Mist - Zakar0 - Possible future of Spherus Magna in a non-canon city.
Petty Little Conflicts - Mr. House - Alternate future of the MU. Creates its own canon.
The Arsenal of the Ancients - The Fourteenth - Set in a custom location on Pre-MU Spherus Magna. Canon largely irrelevant.
Era - Gravity - Far history of Spherus Magna. Canon largely irrelevant.
Masquerade - Parugi - Everything is custom.
 
City in the Dark - The Lorax - Set in a non-canon location filling a gap in the Nui Stone's history, between its making and its coming to Tuyet. Either canon or alternate universe, depending on how things finish up.
The Voyage of the Requiem IV - Toa Levacius Zehvor - Medium-future of Spherus Magna. Very little canon involved.
Tides - Legolover-361 - Possible future of Spherus Magna. Little canon involved.
City of the Dead - Grantaire - Alternate history of the Makuta/Dark Hunter war. Set on Metru Nui. Reasonably canon, with a few plot-enabling differences.
Disruption - Canis Lupus - An alternate history of the Matoran Civil War on Metru Nui. Mostly like canon.
Trapped in a Map - Toa Kovolta - Custom location, story and characters, set not long before the Great Cataclysm. Not much canon involved.
The Legend of the Thirteenth Island - Lord of Adders Black - A semi-canon history of the Southern Islands.
Reborn in Red - ZakarOMEGA'D! - Set on the Red Star, incorporating everything in canon known about that place, which isn't much, so mostly its own thing.
SKY/FALL - MjolnirInTheFridge - A far-future of Spherus Magna. Canon is unimportant.
The Trial of Nations - Shuhei Hisagi - Post-canon Spherus Magna, canon not relevant.
Sunken Cities - The Fourteenth Doctor - Alternate history of the MU. Canon ignored.
 
 
 

OK, so now after doing that and seeing Levacius's post, the trend seems to be for post-canon stories where canon can be used or not, depending on the writer's preference, or altered re-runs of canon events. The third major category would be BIONICLE-style settings, like islands with Toa and Matoran or Metru Nui-like cities.

 

The thing is, GMs seem intent on writing RPGs without a set ending, despite the fact that RPGs inevitably collapse over time. Having an end goal to achieve, with the actual intent of it being completed, sounds brilliant to me.

 

 

Done and done, at least as far as all of my games have been concerned. True, there is a lots of flexibility in there and multiple paths that the ending could take, but they have all been thought out. Moving aimlessly through a story without any idea where it might be going seems like a great way to go nowhere, but neither would anyone want to railroad players through a plot that they couldn't influence at all. The middle ground, in my opinion, is a multi-ending scenario where the GM knows the different paths a story could take, but lets players' actions decide which one actually sees the light of day. I don't wish to seem prideful, but perhaps this is one reason why I have a 100% record for my games not dying?

Edited by The Lorax

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OK, someone remembered the RPG I was doing. I'd better address that.

 

 

 

I have noticed that, throughout BIONICLE history, any large city that has something to do with Toa is a target for an opposing major force. I know that was for the sake of convenience, so that Toa cold be involved somehow, but it happened. The main reason for the main character(if it is Kihohiki you refer to) is to present the idea of there being this incredibly massive city, with a powerful, intelligent and preparing ex-Toa guarding it and controlling it, and(I hate to reveal this early, but it seems I have to) the city is quite heavily guarded anyway, with weaponry so powerful, I can't talk about it yet. But, to ensure that this city doesn't become an impenetrable fortress, it has become a top priority to have many Toa in the city, to make them do most of the actual fighting. This Turaga, being as smart as he is, made his political system as small and secure as could possibly be, dwindling down to a few Turaga and himself, who each look out for any intercepted messages, possible leaked information, etc. And, just in case people belive Kihohiki is too strong, I have made him a Turaga, allowing me to make(no offence to any persons whatsoever) the worst stereotypically elderly things happen at the worst time, allowing him to be defeated, beaten, etc, but only by pre-made characters critical to the story.

 

And the fancy house? This is Rinozz we're talking about, and he has an ego bigger than mount Everest. He believes that he, and his household, are invincible just because they are super strong, even though they have been beaten up before, and that house has been wrecked several times.

 

 

My presentation of the RPG is terrible, I admit, but I've never done this before.

 

Why, do you ask, am I not writing this from character perspective, for a more interesting story? That description is for in front of the judges, who I presume will see this posted somewhere else. If It is that the entry I placed here is the final one, I will immediately fix that.

 

Also, on the NPCs: they are flat and one-dimensional so they will leave more available space to fill by the playable characters

 

For your final critique, I say this:that was posted right after I listed the sentence on kanohi. I don't know much on the Kanohi, and if there's something I don't understand, i'll consult BZP officials.

 

And to sum it all up, thank you. If there is any way I can make this better, i'll take it.

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Out of curiosity, does anyone think a kind of Grand-Strategy like RPG could work? Where players could get entire nations and duke it out for dominance?

I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
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So far that has been somewhat hard to pull off properly as a BRPG. There have been a few in OTC though.

 

I know I would like to see another one around here. It has been some time since the last game like that was ran.

Edited by Silvan Haven

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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I'm thinking trying to redo an old concept I had, Winds of Change. It's messed up, but I posted it earlier.

 

Vast, continental warfare. It's been something I've always wanted to do. Something beyond Cradle of Civilization in scope.

I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
BZPRPG Characters that I will possibly revive, Mons-Shajs-Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Jorruk Yokin-Senavysh Angavur

 

 

 

 

 

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I can only think of one or two games of that type that were done, or at least got through. One of them was Lloyd's game.

 

House: Why don't you post it again so we can all look over it?

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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It'll be a little while, I'll have to make a newer, cleaner, and modernized concept. Here's the first, squashed, version. I posted in 2012. By far, it was much more streamlined then my other attempt at such a game. One unfortunately lost in the Little Dataclysm, set in the past with time travel and Barraki.

Edited by Mr. House
I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
BZPRPG Characters that I will possibly revive, Mons-Shajs-Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Jorruk Yokin-Senavysh Angavur

 

 

 

 

 

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I'm not house, but having read it, this is how I think it goes.

 

He didn't abandon that plan, he just never thought of it. The goal of his machinations during the Metru Nui arc was to awaken the memory-wiped Matoran as their leader so that they would all worship him and Mata Nui would be out of the picture. He only came up with the greater, body-possessing plan after that failed.

 

In the universe of this game, he instead decided for a war to dominate the universe, presumably while he came up with some other way to get what he really wanted.

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Hmm, notes taken.

 

>PC vs Game conflict is fun (But faction vs faction is still nice)

>Treasure hunt sounds 'aight

>AUs are in

>Clear goals = good(?)

 

I'm thinking a good way of combining one and two would to have the "treasure" that is being hunted be alive, and not too fond of the "being hunted" part. With playable factions being opposed, both attempting to capture the treasure, for the motive of gaining power in whatever conflict they're engaged in. Probably set in a metru-nui or mata-nui AU, for ease of playing and familiarity with the setting.

Edited by Tiragath

...but close to it

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I'm not house, but having read it, this is how I think it goes.

 

He didn't abandon that plan, he just never thought of it. The goal of his machinations during the Metru Nui arc was to awaken the memory-wiped Matoran as their leader so that they would all worship him and Mata Nui would be out of the picture. He only came up with the greater, body-possessing plan after that failed.

 

In the universe of this game, he instead decided for a war to dominate the universe, presumably while he came up with some other way to get what he really wanted.

 

In a way, yes. But I'll instead have Mutran be killed by Tren Krom, to deny Teridax the knowledge to take over Mata Nui's body. Yet, being inspired by the Barraki to usurp Mata Nui, he will use the Order's stored knowledge to both put Mata Nui to sleep, and gain technological superiority over the Matoran. Winning thusly the MU militarily. Plot hole closed. :P

 

Yeah Tiragath, I think an older-style RPG could work in this day and age. Modernized, however.

I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
BZPRPG Characters that I will possibly revive, Mons-Shajs-Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Jorruk Yokin-Senavysh Angavur

 

 

 

 

 

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Greetings. I have an idea.

 

Luminary

 

The World moves once again. So much has happened that we were forced to leave our home, taking our savior and protector with us...

 

...But where others failed and vanished from our sight, we arrived safely at our new home. We called it Gaia Magna. Once we arrived upon Gaia, we found that our creators had left it to us, in case that we wrecked the home we were built on. Even better, they left us “gifts”, twenty-two artifacts to ensure that we would never again know the war and violence we faced. We even got the chance to name them. The Major Arcana. Greater Mysteries.

 

Years passed. Cities rose and fell. We ignored the teachings of our ancestors and creators, and we paid dearly for it. We lost the Major Arcana. We fought, died, and knew pain once more. Now Gaia is painted in the blood of other’s enemies, and the long-lost Major Arcana now finally show their true nature. Not tools to keep the peace like we had once believed.

 

But instead, weapons to wage nothing short of extinction against those who run afoul of the wielders. Prepare yourself, those-who-come-after, this story is not one of heroes. It is to warn you of the dangers that come from power, greed, and desire. It is to show you the consequences of your actions, and above all, it is to warn you of the twenty-two weapons that now lay buried on The World.

 

-

 

Welcome. This is Luminary. By no means will this be a tale of the caliber that my peers and seniors have written. This story shall not begin like other stories. It will begin, and it will end. The object of this story is simple. By making a character, you are now in direct competition with everyone else in this game. The object of this story, or as some would call it “a game”, is simple. There are twenty-two artifacts known as the Major Arcana. All of them give you powers beyond that of any character. In them, you will be able to control and manipulate the story in ways beyond most are comfortable with. The trick is not wielding them, but first finding them in the ruins, puzzles and traps they were hidden in. Then you must hold onto them, all while searching for the Ultimate Prize. I offer you nothing short of absolute power, so long as you are capable of accomplishing these two tricks. Good hunting.

 

-

 

On Gaia Magna;

 

Gaia Magna is a world created by the Great Beings in the image of Spherus Magna. For this particular tale, the section of Bara Magna that was most habitable by those-who-came-before shall be used. The exceptions that the six villages that would have been most familiar to those who knew of them are now gone, replaced by tents and shantytowns, temporary respites for killers, murderers and fanatics. What was once “Atero” upon the homeworld, is now a set of ruins made in Atero’s image. Other than this, there are few inconsistencies.

 

On Organizations;

  • The Justicars:

    • On the homeworld, The Justicars were the primary peacekeepers, originally organized out of Glatorian, they later came to include Toa, Agori, Matoran, and other beings with desire to uphold the law. They were the ones who tried to organize the exodus from the homeworld after the wars broke out. As the player, you could create a member of the Justicars, or a captain, etc. The choice, is yours!

  • Bandits:

    • Various groups of bandits not only prowl the wilderness, but many often are centered in the various shanty towns across Gaia. Say, you like looting and pillaging right? How about creating your own bandit gang and all that awesomly fun stuff, yea?

 

On Species:

A wide variety of species are available for you to play! Inspired by not only the brainstorming sessions that have taken place within recent months for the BZPRPG, but by other recent creative endeavors! Here’s the list of species that are playable at the start of the game:

  • The Matoran Species

    • Dasaka: A brief note on the Dasaka, for minor differences on how Dasaka live and function, Dasaka will be considered a subspecies to the overall Matoran Species. There are no limitations on clan name and function, due to thousands of millions of years of Toa living side by side with Glatorian. You also do not have to “roll dice” for a male Dasaka character, at the cost of all Dasaka being allowed one discipline, and one Kanohi. Each player is allowed only one male Dasaka character, they do not have to make a male Dasaka, however. For more information upon the Dasaka subspecies, search Nuju Metru’s Dasaka master post in the BZPRPG N&D.

  • Agori

  • Glatorian

  • Vortixx

  • Skakdi

 

On Rules:

  • All BZP rules apply.

  • All BZPRPG rules apply. You cannot use masks on the BZPRPG ban list, and native tech rules are in full application.

  • God-Modding, Meta-Gaming, Bunnying, Auto-hitting, and other things similar to those things are not allowed without express permission from the owner’s character.

  • Use IC and OOC tags to separate your posts.

  • No OOC-only posts.

  • Killing or injuring a character you do not control without permission is not allowed.

  • The GMs have full control over the world. The fact that possess a Major Arcana means that through skill (and some luck), you have come to possess an in-game item that allows you to influence the world to a greater degree than normal. However, the GMs have the final say over what happens. Do not push your luck.

  • As this is a competitive environment, you are all asked to be polite and courteous to others in all situations. If your character has been defeated, be a good sport about the situation. If any unsportsmanlike actions are taking place in the discussion thread, in the game, or anywhere else, the good news is that those who are performing said actions will still be able to continue on. The bad news is that all participants will be removed from the game. Be polite and courteous, this will be your only warning.

  • The Major Arcana are powerful items, designed to be used by the players. Some of these items border on “OP” or “Metagaming” due to their power. The GMs respectfully ask you to use the Major Arcana, and pay close attention to the accurate descriptions of the Major Arcana’s powers. Every single word in their description is true, and cannot be circumvented in any shape or form. These items will have drawbacks, a failure to use or recognize the drawbacks following the use of the Major Arcana will result in your immediately loss of the Major Arcana through these drawbacks.

  • If a Major Arcana is used upon your character, the GMs ask that you respectably follow the Major Arcana’s effects. As the Major Arcana are GM devices, they should be treated with the same level of respect as the GMs. Their effects are not questionable in any way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please note, this is still under construction. Comments and (constructive) criticism are welcomed. The Major Arcana are not presented on this draft due to the fact that I would like to finalize all of them (some of the more difficult few elude me) before posting the list here. Others include spoilers. I will be forthcoming with the list if public interest is garnered, and once the list is finalized.

 

Thank you for reading.

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Another interesting idea. The semi large number of ancient objects of immense power being used in power struggles reminds me of a certain anime currently running.

 

A couple suggestions here and there.

 

 

For more information upon the Dasaka subspecies, search Nuju Metru’s Dasaka master post in the BZPRPG N&D.

 

 

  • All BZPRPG rules apply. You cannot use masks on the BZPRPG ban list, and native tech rules are in full application.

 

You might want to lean on the BZPRPG a bit less. Its ok to take ideas from it but you should avoid sending your players to another RPG in order to learn rules or find out about the species they want to play as.

 

Also, why the tech ban? Sure it has been a long time and a lot of war since the canon we know, but I can't see technology degrading that badly.

 

On the Major Arcana, the fact that you have to tell people that they must go along with the effects of the Arcana makes me feel like several of them are going to make players very unhappy whenever they get used. And they will probably be used often. That should be avoided if you want a happy and healthy RPG.

 

Last and biggest thing.

 

 

By making a character, you are now in direct competition with everyone else in this game.

 

With a game like this it is going to hard for players to form parties. PC parties are the life blood of the RPG. Without them the players have with the GM directly in order to get anything done. The people running the game get swamped and everything slows down, leaving the RPG to die a slow and painful death.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

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I'm not exactly sure how to answer all of these questions xD RPG-making is not something that I've had loads of experience in.

 

On the Dasaka and other things like that, I'll be sure to modify them accordingly.

 

Looking at the tech ban like that, I probably will end up removing it, but that means I have to carefully monitor what is being put into character profiles. Logically speaking, it makes some sense to just remove it all.

 

As for that last one, the point of the RPG is that it is a treasure hunt. A race for all the artifacts. You are in competition with everyone else, who wants them. Some people will team up, backstabs will happen, etc. Other than removing that statement from the summary, I'm not sure what else would change. Aside from possibly a longer life span, but I'm not counting on the RPG lasting as long as other RPGs. This one will have a defined beginning and ending... So what else would change?

 

Finally on the Major Arcana. The Major Arcana are supposed to be powerful, and the people who have them are going to wield some pretty powerful stuff. At the same time, I am doing my best to provide each Arcana with a significant weakness, but as they are supposed to be powerful, I'm not entirely sure of what I aught to do with such a device... Other than remove it, which would prove paradoxical to the entire purpose of posting the RPG.

 

Here's the list:

 

  • The Fool: The fool is one of the most powerful and the most worthless of all the Major Arcana. It is in the shape of a coin which is worth absolutely nothing. It also has grants the one who owns it “all the luck”. They cannot be affected by a negative luck-based outcome.

  • The Magician: The Magician is a ring. It bears the symbol of infinity, and grants the user to ability to turn a power (Kanohi, Elemental, unique abilities) against someone who would strike the wielder.

  • The High Priestess: Those who wear the veil of The High Priestess can know everything about the person they look at while wearing the veil.

  • The Empress: A heart-shaped pendant affixed to a necklace, the Empress will make whoever the wearer desires to instantly become infatuated with them.

  • The Emperor: A ring, the wearer holds knowledge over martial prowess.

  • The Hierophant: A set of plain white robes, the wearer’s voice is empowered by The Hierophant, making the speaker very persuasive.

  • The Lovers: A ring decorated with hearts, whoever wears The Lovers can fulfill the deepest wish of the wearer, short of immortality and indestructibility.

  • The Chariot: A ring with a horse symbol on it, the person who holds it cannot be defeated in open combat.

  • Strength: A fur coat, the wearer is granted immense strength at the cost of being unable to harm those who are unarmed.

  • The Hermit: The Hermit is a lantern that when lit, transports the holder and anything they hold into a pocket dimension. The Hermit’s candle, when extinguished transports the holder and anything they hold back to where they lit the candle.

  • The Wheel of Fortune: A ring that can make almost anything happen, at the cost of being unable to change the status quo.

  • Justice: A hammer which instantly kills someone who has wronged the wielder. When Justice is finally put down, the user will be tried for all of their own crimes.

  • The Hanged Man: A plain belt made out of rope,

  • Death: A pair of gauntlets which cause the wearer to make all they touch turn into gold. It does not affect the living.

  • Temperance: A pair of pants for a straightjacket, Temperance allows the wearer to place invisible bonds upon a person they touch. These bonds only work if the person who wears Temperance moderates themself.

  • The Devil: A ring that will grant the wearer any knowledge they seek, the price being negotiable depending upon the knowledge sought.

  • The Tower: A ring bearing the symbol of a chess rook, The Tower permits the wearer to use all the Major Arcana at once.

  • The Star: A ring bearing the symbol of a cardinal star that grants the wearer the power of hope.

  • The Moon: A ring bearing the symbol of a sphere that grants the wearer to create powerful illusions, the only limitation being on how well they can craft an illusion.

  • The Sun: A ring bearing the symbol of a sun that can heal physical injuries of anyone aside from the wearer.

  • Judgement: A mighty sword, anyone who wields Judgement can tell if others are lying.

  • The World: The Ultimate Prize.
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thing about the dasaka is that they're just regular toa and matoran of psionics; not even a subspecies, just a different element that was, up until now in the latest arc, unexplored and unheard of. there's been a lot of confusion of that since the kentoku arc started and we've been trying to clear it up

 

if you were to just take out the dasaka name/brand entirely and use toa of psionics, but keep the focus on the four individual disciplines, that would be a lot cleaner of a ride for anyone who wants to use the element

 

-Tyler

SAY IT ONE MORE TIME 

TELL ME WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND

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It seems there are some overpowered things placed there, beyond your intention:

 

The Lovers: The person who wields this item could instantly teleport themselves to every item's location and win the game.

 

Chariot: No way, no how. That kind of combat is important to RPGs, especially this one.

 

Justice: I think you know. And with that on the line, no one will put it down.

 

The Tower: Basically, almost all the items are super, meaning  the person would use the above listed to shatter the game.

 

And, a name change is due for the item:

 

The wheel of fortune

 

Just for copyright issues, and less confusing for players(Some companies track people down and sue them just for the smallest infringement)

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On The Lovers, I imagine it working more akin to Captain Jack Sparrow's compass. You don't always know what you really want, and the reward that is The World is probably not the sort of thing that most people seek out. However, of all of them, Justice and The Lovers need to be changed.

 

The Chariot and The Tower I will not change, as the item's powers are perfectly fine, in my opinion. There are ways to kill another player character outside of combat. Or of course, it's a perfectly legit move to find a way to steal The Chariot. As for The Tower, all of The Major Arcana are differing artifacts, and the chances of someone getting their hands on two artifacts are pretty slim in my opinion. That, and how practical is it to run around holding a lantern, wearing a veil, wearing robes, and holding a sword?

 

EDIT: Also, all of the Major Arcana operate under "Exact Words" rules. If that changes your perception in any way.

Edited by Hatty Hattington
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Notes on Luminary -

 

It's generally better to stay closer to "canon" settings than trying to go elsewhere. That makes it a lot easier for players to designed their character back-story, and establish just where exactly they are in the world, based on things which have happened. Jumping to an entire planet is... well, it's not exactly what I'd call a good idea. Further, to reiterate what we have discussed previously on here, opening an entire world to exploration makes the game for too loosely organized. You want to create a setting with some form of loose border.

 

When the Major Arcana are such a major focus, I would certainly want to amplify the focus on them. Which means doing something a tad unorthodox - finding a way to get at least one or two in the players hands at the start. To elaborate, I once read a series known as the Book of Swords, which told the tale of twelve enchanted sword made by the gods to play games with man, but which inevitably led to their own demise, and that of most of the swords. Some were mundane (Dragonslicer), others could make others kneel at your feet (Mindsword). However, the character's quests for the swords, and therefore the movement of the plot, does not come from a treasure hunt; it comes from knowing what the weapons do, and why they need to be contained.

 

 

Before going any further, let's look at the factions. We have a group of "good guys" in the Justiciars, and Bandits. This form of faction set up leaves one group hunting, but not in conflict, and one group with little motivation, as they're not as much "in the know". Further, it requires a lot of world-space, which of course doesn't work.

 

Based on all of this, I recommend you tone down the size of the RPG to roughly Mata-Nui sized (heck, use the place, if you feel like it), including underground regions and the like. You'll want some form of antagonist to drive the plot, potentially one with a powerful relic such as The Chariot already in their possession. The Justiciars are now in direct conflict with somebody, and with limited grounds, and have a threat, which adds tension to your story. Further, without a more powerful enemy force, players are pretty much encouraged to fight each other, rather than pursue the "quest" and the plot.

 

Now, back to the artifacts. Once more from the book, there was this particularly interesting matter where the swords were not indestructible - indeed, pretty much every book had Shieldbreaker taking out one of the other swords. One of them could teleport, which prevented anyone from holding all twelve of them. Having noted that, I'd recommend a change to The Tower - instead of simply allowing one to use every relic, why not instead allow it to steal the power from the other relics. Alternatively, you could allow The Magician to turn other items powers back upon themselves, negating them.

 

Taking all of these notes into account, and what would you have? A large area, but not one so large that players cannot somewhat easily get from place to place. You have enemies already established, who players may seek to either work for, or against; they give a reason for the game to move quickly, as their success is far from desired, for whatever reason you establish. All together, the plot moves quickly and cleanly, with players having motivations to stick together even in a hostile climate.

 

Finally, on an amusing note, I find myself asking, with regards to Temperance - pants? Why would Matoran and the like need pants? Their entire body is naturally armored.

 

Now, let's step away from plot ideas, setting, and the like, and move on to mechanics. Which is to say, to echo above statements, please dear God cut out that species list. As I've said before, species lists are completely useless unless they do something to expand upon the culture and like of the setting, or introduce new ones, while this one doesn't do anything other than create unnecessary limits. Cutting out Toa and the like is sometimes good to keep power levels down, but as that doesn't appear to be the case...

 

Stepping into the rules, you never want to reference another RPG. Keep yours self-contained; if players need to open a new tab just to read the rules of your RPG, there's a major mechanical problem. Further, limits on species, masks, etc. are of no use in an RPG like this; unlike in BZPRPG, where players post a profile, in this instance they must be individually approved, which allows the GM to judge each one based upon its own merits.

 

Otherwise, I very much enjoy the RPG. Actually pursuing the artifacts looks to be quite the interesting set-up, though I think you might want to switch from "traps" guarding them to "NPCs", which are generally far more interesting, and actually provide a major bolster for roleplaying. For the weaker ones, at least; ones like The Tower (if you stick with the original idea) and, of course, The World, are certainly better suited for being locked away. On the opposite side, ones like The Lover or The Tower (if you lean more towards mine) can heavily influence the plot when out and about.

 

I greatly look forward to the completed project! :D

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Zehvor has some good points, the bit about the factions in particular. Perhaps you could have some new group that is trying to take over the world or whatever?It would give a sense of urgency that could help the game move along.

 

I disagree on a couple other matters though.

 

RPGs taking place in non canon areas tend to do just as well as those in canon places. As long as you explain everything well people don't have many problems.

 

The species and mask list are not that bad. Some of the species may have been lost in the last couple hundred thousand years. It would be nice to know which ones are still around. Its not necessary but it hardly hurts either. The mask list is a good idea in my opinion. Sure every profile has to go through the GMs but it would certainly help if a players knew what they could and could not use while writing up their profile.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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RPGs taking place in non canon areas tend to do just as well as those in canon places. As long as you explain everything well people don't have many problems.

 

The species and mask list are not that bad. Some of the species may have been lost in the last couple hundred thousand years. It would be nice to know which ones are still around. Its not necessary but it hardly hurts either. The mask list is a good idea in my opinion. Sure every profile has to go through the GMs but it would certainly help if a players knew what they could and could not use while writing up their profile.

 

Not necessarily in a fully canon area, but in an area that fits within the canon; on Spherus Magna or its pieces, or somewhere within the Matoran Universe. If your setting is "a planet like, but not completely like" than you're being overtly complicated. And no matter how well they "work", they generally require a lot more back-story be given; otherwise, you hamper how much the players have to work with.

 

And as for species lists, what makes them bad is that they're a waste unless they contribute something. This one doesn't. Unless it tells us more about the world, it's a waste of space. The same applies to a mask list, which generally ends up far too long. Giving a list of banned masks and species can work; it sets a baseline on what can't be done (can't be a Makuta, can't have an Olmak, etc.) and generally gives a good feeling. More importantly, they're generally very short.

 

But utilizing the BZPRPG format for this sort of thing, in this format, isn't fitting.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Having something that tells you that Olmaks are off limits tends to be rather helpful.

 

Its not "The BZPRPG" format. Having a list of what you can't use because it might break the game is common sense.

"I serve the weak. I serve the helpless. I am their sword and their shield. If you want to strike at them, you must go through me, and I am not so easily moved."

zsUPm2E.jpg?1

 

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The young matoran waited under the stars. High on the slopes of Mount Ihu, he stood on the observation deck of one of the great telescopes built in the area. He watched the Red Star with an aura of anticipation, waiting for the sign that the hunt had begun.

 

It had been thirty thousand years since the artifact inside Kini-Nui had last awoken, and it had been countless more years since the hunts had first begun. If indeed there was a time before the hunts and the chaos they brought with them. Two weeks of death and glory as all those brave enough set out to pursue their prey.

 

The matoran looked back fondly on the last hunt, he had been a simple librarian in those times, and the island enjoyed peace. Now he was stationed here, one of the countless soldiers enlisted in the civil war. It was a conflict born of misunderstandings and long simmering feuds. The now hostile nation of Ta-Wahi leading it's allies Ga-Wahi and Le-Wahi in a slow and bloody conflict with Ko-Wahi and it's allies Po-Wahi and Onu-Wahi.

 

Lost in his thoughts, the matoran took several seconds to take notice of the signal that begins our story. The Red Star grew in brightness and intensity quickly and violently, the great amounts of energy therein taking shape, seven bolts of red lightning shot forth, some landing far over the horizon, others closer by. The star dimmed again, thirty thousand years of it's mysterious energy source expelled into their world.

 

"Beautiful, is it not?" He heard the voice of his commanding officer behind him. He was an older matoran, grizzled and the veteran of a dozen battles. He had told the young matoran he was a fool earlier, saying that staying up to watch the spectacle would merely hinder his performance on their morning patrols. Now, he too stood on the deck, shivering slightly in the wind. Cold even for Ko-Wahi.

 

"What are they, really?" The young soldier asked.

 

"Legends. Heroes of old." His commander took a seat, leaving the young one standing. "Of course, that doesn't stop us from hunting and killing them. Since time immemorial we have done so. Claiming their heads as gifts for what lays under Kini-Nui is the only way to awaken it and the power it is said to possess." He lit his pipe, blowing smoke rings in the winter air. "Of course, no one has ever succeeded. The hunt only brings bloodshed to us, I can only hope our leaders are not so foolish as to pursue the heroes during this time of war."

 

"We are the mightiest nation this island has ever seen, why are you so sure we could not defeat them and gain power to destroy the others?" The young matoran asked, inflamed by a surge of nationalistic fervor. His commander only laughed.

 

"Miracles like that, they don't happen boy."

 

* * *

 

Makuta; The Great Spirit Mata-nui; Artahka and Karznahi; The Toa Nuva; their predecessors and their successors. All of them; their names and legacies, are forgotten mysteries. Lost to time, rust and the entropy of a dying universe.

 

The Hunt is an event that occurs every thirty thousand years, the Red Star brightens in the northern sky until it discharges it's energies as seven bolts of lightning. Within those bolts, seven legends are given life and a corporeal form. All of their identities lost to time, only the barest remnants of their deeds are referenced in the history books of this age. Vague details past the stretch of time recorded, and beyond the memory of all but several living beings.

 

The ancient temple of Kini-Nui has a bare stone circle in it's center, with a small raised platform covered in the old languages, it has details of the hunt. Chief among them the purpose, the heads of those summoned are to be collected and brought to Kini-Nui. When that is done, a great power is to be awaken and come into possession of the one that has brought the sacrifice.

 

Some legends thirst for battle, for honor or merely bloodshed. Others hide themselves away. The spirits only stay in our world for twenty-one days. After which they vanish, leaving the mystery and promise of Kini-Nui unrealized. To the knowledge of most, the hunt has never been successfully completed. They are all recorded to have ended in failure, death and chaos.

 

One thing is certain, the legends are far stronger than those of the modern age. The world is slowly winding down. The strength of the legends, and their mysterious promise of power unimaginable are the only glimpses of a brighter past, long forgotten in this dark, urban and modernized age.

 

* * *

 

The island of Mata-Nui is currently embroiled in war, the eastern Federation of Ta-Wahi, Ga-Wahi and Le-Wahi fighting the western Alliance of Ko-Wahi, Onu-Wahi and Po-Wahi. The technological level has advanced over the years and rivals that of the lost and unknown nation of Metru-Nui. The war began over issues of taxation, depletion of resources and small instances of disrespect between leaders, but has grown into a battle for power and domination.

 

Both factions have welcomed all the races into their armies and cultures, once shunned and feared groups like the Skakdi, Vortixx and others are now prized warriors, engineers and craftsmen. The factions have also begun to assemble their best and brightest, readying them for The Hunt. Eager to claim victory and power for themselves, both intent on destroying the opposing side, will either survive?

 

All over the island, lone individuals look to join The Hunt as well. Those interested in money, power, fame and the insane merely looking for enjoyment.

 

* * *

 

This RPG is currently unnamed and a rough draft. The setting is an AU island of Mata-Nui. Metru-Nui and the greater structure of the world are unknown or forgotten to the current generation, most canon characters are long dead or vanished. Many things have deliberately been left vague. The non-toa/matoran/turaga inhabitants of the island have been there for all of recorded history.

 

The story will detail the war between the two factions, who fight each other and seek to defeat the legendary spirits and claim their power for themselves. It was also explore the machinations of the hunt, some of the history of the world and other juicy mysteries. It will involve PC vs PC conflict, as well as PC vs GM conflict, as the players will attempt to hunt the spirits. Which is going to be part "treasure hunt" and part, "this guy is blowing **** up in Ta-Koro, go fight them!"

...but close to it

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Going through this...

 

Going through this, I think I will only change the Major Arcana that I feel is truly necessary.

 

 

Finally, on an amusing note, I find myself asking, with regards to Temperance - pants? Why would Matoran and the like need pants? Their entire body is naturally armored.

 

 

The answer to this is incredibly easy and obvious.

 

Buckle your pants.

 

Lastly on the factions, yes I probably will end up modifying them slightly. Most of my efforts when writing this up were getting the concept of the Major Arcana down. Hence the RPG's status as a "rough draft" :P Yes, I will change them, especially as I continue to modify the draft.

Edited by Hatty Hattington
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