The Official RPG Planning Topic

[Toru Nui]

As Krayz said, this should've been put in here for feedback/advice from the playerbase before being submitted to the judges. I did. Nobody paid attention though. My criticisms/questions/suggestions are in blue: 

 

 

Federation of Fear 

 

 

 

Introduction:

 

 

Alright maggots, LISTEN UP! You are now part of a specialized task force, sponsored by none other than the Order of Mata Nui itself, you should feel honoured-actually, don't, because I highly doubt that emotion is beyond your puny tiny minds! Might want to consider rewording this. If he doubts that being honoured is beyond them, then he's saying he believes they are capable of it, which I don't think is what you meant. It was. Brutaka has become kind of an idiot thanks to being submerged in Antidermis, and wearing a poorly-built water helmet 24/7.

 

My name’s Brutaka, Helryx has sent me you rejects because you are skilled at what you do! Unfortunately, you have used those skills to commit acts considered amoral, as such; your lives are now not worth the bacteria growing on the visor of my breathing helmet!

 

From now on you are scum, you are Fikou, you are the lowest form of life on Spherus Magna! And from now on, you will do as I say, or else I will reserve a nice vacation for you, in the dimension made ENTIRELY OUT OF SHARP METAL SPIKES! Welcome, to the FEDERATION OF FEAR! Bathroom is on the left, by the way. I sincerely hope that this "dimension of sharp metal spikes" is a joke. Otherwise you're going to get characters who are designed to survive that. Perhaps. But there's an infinite number of dimensions, therefore an infinite number of ways to kill someone.

 

 Setting:

 

 

It has been a thousand years since the reformation of Spherus Magna, and things are generally getting better for the forces for good. But evil is on the rise, with the Dark Hunters and Skrall allying, the Barraki regrouping and forming new armies, wild Rahi that escaped the Matoran Universe before it collapsed and small raider groups of Skakdi, Zyglak, Bone Hunters and other miscellaneous threats that the Federation must deal with.

 

A thousand years is a pretty dang long time, so I'm somewhat confused as to why all of these evil groups have waited until now to suddenly resurface. The Dark Hunters and Barraki already had their armies at the ready when the Matoran Universe fell. It seems strange that they'd suddenly go to ground for ten centuries. They haven't. They've been screwing with the people of the Southern Region for hundreds of years. The situation has gotten so bad the Order has decided to re-start the Federation.

 

I'm also uncertain as to why a Federation of Fear would be required to deal with small bands of raiders. Seems to me that the local Toa and Glatorian, as well as the Agori and Matoran (who've conveniently had a thousand years to establish fortified settlements, arm themselves, train, and bring up their numbers a bit) would be able to handle those sorts of problems themselves. These aren't necessarily the main targets of the Federation. They'll be attacked by them a few times on long journeys, but they're relatively harmless. Relatively.

 

You will play as one of the Federation, and deal with the problems nobody else wants to deal with. However, you will be supervised at all times by Brutaka. You can TRY to defeat him, but try is the key word here, since betraying him a few times may lead to you contracting a terminal case of death due to the poison capsules inside your body, put there while you sleep.

 

So... what does this mean, exactly? Players can try to kill Brutaka but you're just going to no-sell everything, then insta-kill the attacking character with these poison capsules that they somehow didn't notice being injected into their bodies? The thing is that Brutaka wants to kill them, but CAN'T, because he needs as many men as possible. That said, there is a limit to how many times you can cross Also unconscious surgery. That's still technically sleeping. That Brutaka is an even more OP version of Abbenidium (if such a thing is possible). Tell me, what was the reason asylum failed again? Because they thought they had to kill Halmos. Halmos wasn't covered in full body armour at all times and could open dimensional portals. But he is NOT immune to pain. He's an Iron Butt Monkey. See here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IronButtmonkey Also you can insult him as much as you want, he doesn't really care what you think.

 

Brutaka has a device around his wrist that allows him to see your current situation, and to release the poison inside the capsule with the push of a button. Simply put, he can see where you are at all times, and can kill you at all times. So, another instakill sign... Explain to me why I should play again? Good point. Maybe something that doesn't kill, but causes agonizing pain...

 

You will get around Spherus Magna in the Zya-Nui, a large but fast vehicle roughly the size of a small house. It will be cramped, but has enough beds to provide for the whole team (that being the loosest definition of the term). Who drives it? No one. The Zya-Nui has been installed with the brain of an old Maxilos robot, allowing it to drive itself.

 

Locations:

 

The game will take place on Spherus Magna, so… yes… since the characters’ missions will probably take them to various different places, it’s hard to list EVERY possible place they could go to. However, I can give a few key locations. Note that the key word here is COULD. The Federation doesn’t have any choice where it goes. So the entire plot is going to be completely, 100% GM controlled, with players getting no say in where their characters go or what happens when they get there?  Going, yes. I mean, as a person said earlier on this thread who I don't remember the name of, they're not doing this of their own volition. They're evil, you know. Doing is a different thing, Brutaka's ethics are... questionable at best. He doesn't care HOW they do stuff, as long as they don't go on a massacre or directly go against orders.

 

Southern Region: This is where the final battle between Mata Nui and Makuta happened. It is no longer the vast desert it once was; thanks to Mata Nui giving it new life, though some places still remain arid. New Atero is located here with a recreation of the original Arena Magna at the centre, and the new headquarters for the Order of Mata Nui located on the city’s outskirts, which is made out of a small fragment of the Mata Nui robot’s head that went quite a distance when that chunk of Aqua Magna came crashing down. Some parts of the Matoran Universe have also been used to create other settlements, and some others have just been made from scratch. It is not perfect, however, with raiders terrorizing many minor settlements. Yeah, you're informing your criminals about where your headquarters is so that if they ever find a way to sneak info out without you looking, the enemies of the order can eliminate you entirely. So, if you were Pridak, the Shadowed One, Stronius and/or the Shadow Toa, you'd attack one of the most fortified places on Spherus Magna in order to destroy the Order, the same organization that has proven more than a match for you multiple times in the past, and this was when their numbers weren't in the thousands like in the present?

 

Northern Region: If the Southern Region is where good reigns, the Northern Region is where evil reigns. Among its landmarks are the River Dormus, the Forest of Blades, the Great Volcano, the Valley of the Maze, the Stronghold of the Great Beings and the Energized Protodermis Spring. This is also the new homeland of the League of Four Kingdoms. Why four? Because Carapar is dead and nobody knows where Takadox is. Presumingly up to no good, especially since he has the Heart of the Visorak…

 

The Great Sea: Created out of Aqua Magna, this is now the main body of water on Spherus Magna. Sea travel is considered safer than land travel, since there’s not much in the way of raiders. Instead there are sea monsters and pirates. Yarr.

 

The Great Jungle: Created out of l Magna, this place is filled with biomechanical dinosaurs. Roar. Also hidden inside is the headquarters for the Dark Hunters, and New Roxtus, the new Skrall settlement. There’s also the fortress where Velika tried to kill several powerful beings with explosions, but it didn’t work. But the creed of the Great Beings is: if you don’t succeed, try, try again…

 

Northern Frost: Even further north than the Northern Region, it is an icy wasteland where only the scarcest of settlements can be found. Makuta Miserix departed here recently, for unknown reasons… Just to clarify, did he depart from there, or depart from somewhere else to there? Sorry, my bad. He did indeed leave from somewhere else to the Northern Frost.

 

White Quartz Mountains: Apart from a few settlements, there’s not much here. We could hear a little more on this. But there is LITERALLY not anything worth mentioning.

 

Black Spike Mountains: Or here. And this.   And here.  

 

Species:

 

Matoran (Innate elemental powers, Powerless Kanohi)

 

Toa (Strong elemental powers, Great Kanohi)

 

Turaga (Weak elemental powers, Noble Kanohi)

 

Vortixx (Great Kanohi)

 

Skakdi (Vision power, other random power, Powerless Kanohi, strong elemental powers, but can only be used in conjunction with another Skakdi)

 

Zyglak (Resistance against elemental powers, but NOT immunity, they simply take less damage)

 

Glatorian

 

Agori

 

Skrall Warrior

 

Steltian Elite (Great Kanohi)

 

Steltian Bruiser (Natural brute strength)

 

 Other Species (There are many species in the Bionicle Universe, most of which don’t have names, so if you want to play as a species that has no name, just say something like Lariska’s Species, or Eliminator’s Species. Just make sure you know what powers they have before you start your profile.)

 

 Staff:

Me.

And me!

Shut up, you don’t count.

 

 Characters:

You may have two characters at any one time, and they must be approved before you can begin posting. So a character limit... An incredibly short limit...

 

 Profile:

 

Name: What your character is called. Try to come up with something that wouldn’t seem out of place in the Bionicle Universe. So no, he can’t be called Steve, or have numbers in his name. Also you can’t have the same name as a canon character. Or canon species. Or canon anything.

 

Gender: Before filling this in, note that certain species have locked genders, such as Ga-Matoran. Hm... there's nothing technically wrong with this, but I'm not sure enforcing the canon gender disparities in a non-canon RPG is going to be popular with everyone... It may be non-canon, but technically they're ALL non-canon. Some more non-canon than others. Especially considering people like to play as male Ga characters. Not that I'm disagreeing with you, but what people?

 

Species: Note that you’re going to have to actually know WHAT your species can do before you go any further. Rare species such as Makuta, Toa of Light, Iron Agori and Female Skrall are prohibited. Female Skrall aren't rare, though? I can't find anything on BS01 implying there were any less of them than there were males. Could've sworn they were. Sorry. The only "rare" Skrall would be the leader-class ones, since Tuma was supposed to be the only one. Plus I think that Makuta being a 'rare species' is not the reason why you should ban them. It's because they can kill Brutaka faster than he could react if done right. No, because at this point, the Reverse Teridax and Miserix are the only ones left. 

 

Element/Tribe: Certain species don’t have elements or belong to a tribe, so just check before you fill this in. Light, Shadow, Time, Life and Creation are banned. Fanon Elements Crystal and Acid are allowed. Calling back to my earlier point, it's a bit odd that you'd allow and encourage the use of fanon elements, but still enforce the canon gender imbalance. Male Ga-Matoran couldn't exist in canon, but Crystal and Acid could have. It's not whether it did appear, but whether it could have appeared.

 

Kanohi: Most species can/have to wear Kanohi, but few know how to use them. You are only allowed ONE Kanohi, so if you find another, you must swap it with your previous one to wear it. Also the Masks of Light, Shadow, Light and Shadow, Time, Life, Creation, Dimensional Gates, Alternate Futures and Gravity are prohibited. You can come up with your own custom mask, but don’t make it overpowered or your character will be rejected. Mm Hm... Oddly enough, you're also trying to make a super killing squad that can destroy all opposing forces. The reason they're a super killing squad is because they're incredibly skilled thieves, murderers, warlords, etc. Not because they're gods.

 

Other Powers: Some powers don’t come from Elements or Kanohi, such as Skakdi Vision Powers.

 

Weapons: Feel free to go nuts with melee weapons, as long as it’s not too overpowered. However, Zamor Sphere Launchers were only ever wielded by the Toa Inika and Piraka, and thus prohibited. Actually, no. Zamors were originally created by the Nynrah Ghosts, which were given to Jovan and stolen by Dark Hunters, long before the events on Voya Nui. It's entirely possible the weapons would've been distributed to other beings over time. I did not know that. Thank you. Are you getting your facts from the sets only? I thought the Zamor Sphere Launchers were invented by Avak for the Piraka, and reverse-engineered by Balta for the Toa Inika.  And if I can go crazy on it, I'm having a blade covered in knives controlled by my sentience that can levitate at will and can be controlled from over a mile away. Rewrite, please. I defer to "as long as it’s not too overpowered."

 

Other canon ranged weapons like Kanoka, Rhotuka, Cordak Blasters and Thornax are free game. You’re only allowed two weapons though, so choose carefully. Is there any particular reason players are being forced to have so few weapons? Yes, fairness. With the exception of Bionifight, I've never really encountered an RPG that put such a specific limit on how much a character is allowed to carry.  On Nato's comment earlier, this really seems like a job for the native beings who can carry whatever the heck they want with them. 

 

However, a pair of something is not considered two, such as dual swords. But dual weapons are only half as effective as a whole weapon would be; you need both to reach maximum efficiency. That's... not really how weapons work...  Otherwise a single lightsaber couldn't cut nearly as well as a double-sided one. That doesn't make any sense. Point taken.

 

 

Bio: Just what did your character do to warrant becoming part of the Federation of Fear? It must be something considered wrong by the Order, otherwise they wouldn’t send on you on such dangerous missions. Probably was born male and had the water element, carried three guns at a time, didn't bow to Brutaka, etc. Now you're just being mean. And failing at it.

 

Personality: Paint a picture about what your character is like. You can have a few redeeming qualities, but a truly good character wouldn’t be conscripted into the Federation.

 

Strengths: Fairly straightforward, what is your character good at? Fighting, stealing, etc.

 

Weaknesses: The opposite of weaknesses. I assume you meant to put strengths here. Yes... sorry. Does your character have a weak spot in their armour; are they not skilled with certain weapons? Try to keep it balanced and consistent with your strengths.

 

Appearance: This one is optional, but feel free to fill it in if you want. You can use a picture created by you or someone else, or describe your character with words.

 

To give you an idea of how this works, here’s one I made earlier.

 

 

 

Name: Brutaka

 

Gender: Male

 

Element/Tribe: N/A

 

Kanohi: Great Olmak, Mask of Dimensional Gates (Why does Brutaka have a prohibited mask? Because he’s an NPC, THAT’S why! Also the one he originally wore was destroyed by Makuta Teridax, but a new one was forged for him after the Battle of Bara Magna)

 

Other Powers: Energy Blasts, Mental Shielding, gains Makuta Powers when absorbing Antidermis, can breathe in water, but needs his breathing helmet (which he NEVER takes off) to breathe on land. (In canon, he DOES have all these powers)

 

Weapons: A pair of Rotating Blades that can combine into one, which electric shock anyone who isn’t Brutaka picking them up into unconsciousness, along with a pair of Protosteel Daggers hidden in his back.

 

Bio: Now being a canon character, Brutaka’s history is too long for me to list in a small paragraph. Therefore, read his bio at BionicleSector01. Or any Bionicle wiki, for that matter. See bold text and my comment directly below.

 

Personality: Brutaka here is much different from the Brutaka a thousand years ago, in no small part to being submerged in Antidermis and a few malfunctions with his breathing helmet. He now more resembles a drill sergeant than anything else, and is absolutely disgusted with the fact he has to take yet ANOTHER band of criminals on yet ANOTHER suicide mission. Yeah. He's just like the canon one except he's not? Um... A thousand years breathing water can change a man. Or maybe that's an excuse I made up to portray him comedically, anyway you have a point

 

Strengths: Immensely skilled with his weapons, strong and actually quite intelligent.

 

Weaknesses: His breathing helmet for one, break it (which is hard, but possible) and he will immediately start looking for the nearest body of water. His arms and lower legs are less armoured than the rest of his body. His Antidermis induced insanity also counts, though some may say that makes him more dangerous than ever… You know, I thought we couldn't even touch our golden idol. You can, just not multiple times.

 

 Appearance: A tall, lean, gold and blue figure wearing a helmet full of water.

 

 Note that Brutaka’s Olmak cannot be used as “fast travel” for the Federation, mostly because dimensions act like rooms in a house. You can exit it using a door AKA the Olmak, but that doesn’t mean you’ll end back up in that room by exiting it. You have to go back through the door to get back in. Also Brutaka ends up where he exited when coming back to our dimension. You mean Earth? And this analogy hurts my brain. Maybe I should not have said our.

 

 Battles:

 

 This functions about the same as every other RPG, in that there’s no numbers or calculations, just roleplay. When fighting against either PC or NPC, remember that you are NOT invincible. You are going to get a few cuts and bruises at best. At worst, you die. And considering what your characters will be going up against, dying will not be a rare occurrence. But don’t worry; you can always create a new one! Generally speaking, the GM shouldn't go out of their way to kill off PC's like this. I think players would appreciate it more if their characters were crippled or injured or knocked unconscious rather than simply being murdered outright. (i.e. Asylum) Right.

 

Rules:

 

1: Thou shalt not god-mod. No not taking damage, no dodging all hits.

 

2: Thou shalt not insta-kill everything, be it NPC or PC. And ESPECIALLY not Brutaka, who cannot be killed, so no saying you did.

 

3: Thou shalt not control other player’s characters without their permission, or NPCs (i.e. characters controlled by the GM, who is me).

 

4: Thou shalt use IC: when posting in character, and OOC: when not.

 

5: Thou shalt respect your fellow player and GM, even if your characters don’t get along.

 

6: Thou shalt be fair. When fighting against other PCs (and believe me, that WILL happen), give the other player a chance.

 

7: Thou shalt not use the same tactic over and over during battles. If you do so, I will say it didn’t work and you will have to come up with something else. I'm sorry, what? A lot of fighters tend to have certain tactics and moves that they favour in fights.  It's called a combat style. So just to make sure I'm understanding this correctly, but you're basically saying that if someone is favouring a certain strategy, and it's working for them,  you're just going to start no-selling it the next time they try to use it? Wow, I actually just died inside. Number seven, I'm sorry, but I must have been delirious when I wrote you.

 

8: Thou shalt accept the GM’s final word. If something doesn’t work, IT DOESN’T WORK. Yeah, like trying to stop the GM plot. Well, looks like the character I tried so hard on is dead for little reason at all. 

 

9: Thou shalt make frequent contributions. If you haven’t posted within ten days, your character shall die. Tough, but fair. This isn't even remotely fair. Ten days is a very short time in RPG terms, and murdering people's PCs because their internet cut out unexpectedly or they took a week off for study isn't going to sit well with a lot of people. This doesn’t count however, if you warn me that you are going on holiday, or something like that. And what of leaving on short notice? I've had that happen several times and not all my Corpus characters met painful and violent deaths when I returned. It's supposed to be more fast-paced than most RPGs. That's probably why this might not work... I've not been a big fan of bunnying, but I suppose it's the only workable way.

 

10: Thou shalt have fun. I understand you really want this RPG to run, but Asylum sat with more time and more work than this and it died in 3 months. GM-controlled plots outside of occasional missions is really unrealistic, and is going to help to kill this RPG very quickly. If you want something actually fun to play, I ask that you look over Nato's and my comments on the main issues.

 

And I don't find this RPG terrible, and I don't hate it with all my guts. Neither does Nato. We just don't want to see an RPG go up and live a meaningless lifespan of about a week only to die off with little to no enjoyment for anyone. Please don't find these comments too offensive.

 

Most of the glaring issues here are because I'm not very good at conveying information. Not your fault. I will have to come up with some way to make this work...

[Ghidora131]

 

As Krayz said, this should've been put in here for feedback/advice from the playerbase before being submitted to the judges. I did. Nobody paid attention though. My criticisms/questions/suggestions are in blue: 

 

 

Federation of Fear 

 

 

 

Introduction:

 

 

Alright maggots, LISTEN UP! You are now part of a specialized task force, sponsored by none other than the Order of Mata Nui itself, you should feel honoured-actually, don't, because I highly doubt that emotion is beyond your puny tiny minds! Might want to consider rewording this. If he doubts that being honoured is beyond them, then he's saying he believes they are capable of it, which I don't think is what you meant. It was. Brutaka has become kind of an idiot thanks to being submerged in Antidermis, and wearing a poorly-built water helmet 24/7. So, you're replacing his intelligence with over-the-top devices and insane amounts of omnipresence.

 

My name’s Brutaka, Helryx has sent me you rejects because you are skilled at what you do! Unfortunately, you have used those skills to commit acts considered amoral, as such; your lives are now not worth the bacteria growing on the visor of my breathing helmet!

 

From now on you are scum, you are Fikou, you are the lowest form of life on Spherus Magna! And from now on, you will do as I say, or else I will reserve a nice vacation for you, in the dimension made ENTIRELY OUT OF SHARP METAL SPIKES! Welcome, to the FEDERATION OF FEAR! Bathroom is on the left, by the way. I sincerely hope that this "dimension of sharp metal spikes" is a joke. Otherwise you're going to get characters who are designed to survive that. Perhaps. But there's an infinite number of dimensions, therefore an infinite number of ways to kill someone.

 

 Setting:

 

 

It has been a thousand years since the reformation of Spherus Magna, and things are generally getting better for the forces for good. But evil is on the rise, with the Dark Hunters and Skrall allying, the Barraki regrouping and forming new armies, wild Rahi that escaped the Matoran Universe before it collapsed and small raider groups of Skakdi, Zyglak, Bone Hunters and other miscellaneous threats that the Federation must deal with.

 

A thousand years is a pretty dang long time, so I'm somewhat confused as to why all of these evil groups have waited until now to suddenly resurface. The Dark Hunters and Barraki already had their armies at the ready when the Matoran Universe fell. It seems strange that they'd suddenly go to ground for ten centuries. They haven't. They've been screwing with the people of the Southern Region for hundreds of years. The situation has gotten so bad the Order has decided to re-start the Federation.

 

I'm also uncertain as to why a Federation of Fear would be required to deal with small bands of raiders. Seems to me that the local Toa and Glatorian, as well as the Agori and Matoran (who've conveniently had a thousand years to establish fortified settlements, arm themselves, train, and bring up their numbers a bit) would be able to handle those sorts of problems themselves. These aren't necessarily the main targets of the Federation. They'll be attacked by them a few times on long journeys, but they're relatively harmless. Relatively.

 

You will play as one of the Federation, and deal with the problems nobody else wants to deal with. However, you will be supervised at all times by Brutaka. You can TRY to defeat him, but try is the key word here, since betraying him a few times may lead to you contracting a terminal case of death due to the poison capsules inside your body, put there while you sleep.

 

So... what does this mean, exactly? Players can try to kill Brutaka but you're just going to no-sell everything, then insta-kill the attacking character with these poison capsules that they somehow didn't notice being injected into their bodies? The thing is that Brutaka wants to kill them, but CAN'T, because he needs as many men as possible. That said, there is a limit to how many times you can cross Also unconscious surgery. That's still technically sleeping. That Brutaka is an even more OP version of Abbenidium (if such a thing is possible). Tell me, what was the reason asylum failed again? Because they thought they had to kill Halmos. Halmos wasn't covered in full body armour at all times and could open dimensional portals. But he is NOT immune to pain. He's an Iron Butt Monkey. See here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IronButtmonkey Also you can insult him as much as you want, he doesn't really care what you think. Oh, so my problem was I didn't make Halmos even more ridiculous?

 

Brutaka has a device around his wrist that allows him to see your current situation, and to release the poison inside the capsule with the push of a button. Simply put, he can see where you are at all times, and can kill you at all times. So, another instakill sign... Explain to me why I should play again? Good point. Maybe something that doesn't kill, but causes agonizing pain...

 

You will get around Spherus Magna in the Zya-Nui, a large but fast vehicle roughly the size of a small house. It will be cramped, but has enough beds to provide for the whole team (that being the loosest definition of the term). Who drives it? No one. The Zya-Nui has been installed with the brain of an old Maxilos robot, allowing it to drive itself.

 

Locations:

 

The game will take place on Spherus Magna, so… yes… since the characters’ missions will probably take them to various different places, it’s hard to list EVERY possible place they could go to. However, I can give a few key locations. Note that the key word here is COULD. The Federation doesn’t have any choice where it goes. So the entire plot is going to be completely, 100% GM controlled, with players getting no say in where their characters go or what happens when they get there?  Going, yes. I mean, as a person said earlier on this thread who I don't remember the name of, they're not doing this of their own volition. They're evil, you know. Doing is a different thing, Brutaka's ethics are... questionable at best. He doesn't care HOW they do stuff, as long as they don't go on a massacre or directly go against orders.

 

Southern Region: This is where the final battle between Mata Nui and Makuta happened. It is no longer the vast desert it once was; thanks to Mata Nui giving it new life, though some places still remain arid. New Atero is located here with a recreation of the original Arena Magna at the centre, and the new headquarters for the Order of Mata Nui located on the city’s outskirts, which is made out of a small fragment of the Mata Nui robot’s head that went quite a distance when that chunk of Aqua Magna came crashing down. Some parts of the Matoran Universe have also been used to create other settlements, and some others have just been made from scratch. It is not perfect, however, with raiders terrorizing many minor settlements. Yeah, you're informing your criminals about where your headquarters is so that if they ever find a way to sneak info out without you looking, the enemies of the order can eliminate you entirely. So, if you were Pridak, the Shadowed One, Stronius and/or the Shadow Toa, you'd attack one of the most fortified places on Spherus Magna in order to destroy the Order, the same organization that has proven more than a match for you multiple times in the past, and this was when their numbers weren't in the thousands like in the present?

 

Northern Region: If the Southern Region is where good reigns, the Northern Region is where evil reigns. Among its landmarks are the River Dormus, the Forest of Blades, the Great Volcano, the Valley of the Maze, the Stronghold of the Great Beings and the Energized Protodermis Spring. This is also the new homeland of the League of Four Kingdoms. Why four? Because Carapar is dead and nobody knows where Takadox is. Presumingly up to no good, especially since he has the Heart of the Visorak…

 

The Great Sea: Created out of Aqua Magna, this is now the main body of water on Spherus Magna. Sea travel is considered safer than land travel, since there’s not much in the way of raiders. Instead there are sea monsters and pirates. Yarr.

 

The Great Jungle: Created out of l Magna, this place is filled with biomechanical dinosaurs. Roar. Also hidden inside is the headquarters for the Dark Hunters, and New Roxtus, the new Skrall settlement. There’s also the fortress where Velika tried to kill several powerful beings with explosions, but it didn’t work. But the creed of the Great Beings is: if you don’t succeed, try, try again…

 

Northern Frost: Even further north than the Northern Region, it is an icy wasteland where only the scarcest of settlements can be found. Makuta Miserix departed here recently, for unknown reasons… Just to clarify, did he depart from there, or depart from somewhere else to there? Sorry, my bad. He did indeed leave from somewhere else to the Northern Frost.

 

White Quartz Mountains: Apart from a few settlements, there’s not much here. We could hear a little more on this. But there is LITERALLY not anything worth mentioning. So why mention it?

 

Black Spike Mountains: Or here. And this.   And here.  And this?

 

Species:

 

Matoran (Innate elemental powers, Powerless Kanohi)

 

Toa (Strong elemental powers, Great Kanohi)

 

Turaga (Weak elemental powers, Noble Kanohi)

 

Vortixx (Great Kanohi)

 

Skakdi (Vision power, other random power, Powerless Kanohi, strong elemental powers, but can only be used in conjunction with another Skakdi)

 

Zyglak (Resistance against elemental powers, but NOT immunity, they simply take less damage)

 

Glatorian

 

Agori

 

Skrall Warrior

 

Steltian Elite (Great Kanohi)

 

Steltian Bruiser (Natural brute strength)

 

 Other Species (There are many species in the Bionicle Universe, most of which don’t have names, so if you want to play as a species that has no name, just say something like Lariska’s Species, or Eliminator’s Species. Just make sure you know what powers they have before you start your profile.)

 

 Staff:

Me.

And me!

Shut up, you don’t count.

 

 Characters:

You may have two characters at any one time, and they must be approved before you can begin posting. So a character limit... An incredibly short limit...

 

 Profile:

 

Name: What your character is called. Try to come up with something that wouldn’t seem out of place in the Bionicle Universe. So no, he can’t be called Steve, or have numbers in his name. Also you can’t have the same name as a canon character. Or canon species. Or canon anything.

 

Gender: Before filling this in, note that certain species have locked genders, such as Ga-Matoran. Hm... there's nothing technically wrong with this, but I'm not sure enforcing the canon gender disparities in a non-canon RPG is going to be popular with everyone... It may be non-canon, but technically they're ALL non-canon. Some more non-canon than others. Especially considering people like to play as male Ga characters. Not that I'm disagreeing with you, but what people? Um, me, for one.

 

Species: Note that you’re going to have to actually know WHAT your species can do before you go any further. Rare species such as Makuta, Toa of Light, Iron Agori and Female Skrall are prohibited. Female Skrall aren't rare, though? I can't find anything on BS01 implying there were any less of them than there were males. Could've sworn they were. Sorry. The only "rare" Skrall would be the leader-class ones, since Tuma was supposed to be the only one. Plus I think that Makuta being a 'rare species' is not the reason why you should ban them. It's because they can kill Brutaka faster than he could react if done right. No, because at this point, the Reverse Teridax and Miserix are the only ones left. 

 

Element/Tribe: Certain species don’t have elements or belong to a tribe, so just check before you fill this in. Light, Shadow, Time, Life and Creation are banned. Fanon Elements Crystal and Acid are allowed. Calling back to my earlier point, it's a bit odd that you'd allow and encourage the use of fanon elements, but still enforce the canon gender imbalance. Male Ga-Matoran couldn't exist in canon, but Crystal and Acid could have. It's not whether it did appear, but whether it could have appeared.

 

Kanohi: Most species can/have to wear Kanohi, but few know how to use them. You are only allowed ONE Kanohi, so if you find another, you must swap it with your previous one to wear it. Also the Masks of Light, Shadow, Light and Shadow, Time, Life, Creation, Dimensional Gates, Alternate Futures and Gravity are prohibited. You can come up with your own custom mask, but don’t make it overpowered or your character will be rejected. Mm Hm... Oddly enough, you're also trying to make a super killing squad that can destroy all opposing forces. The reason they're a super killing squad is because they're incredibly skilled thieves, murderers, warlords, etc. Not because they're gods. Yet they have little to no chance of standing up to the clearly OverPowered Brutaka thanks to Instakill devices and 24/7 monitoring. It seems like Brutaka would be way more efficient doing this himself.

 

Other Powers: Some powers don’t come from Elements or Kanohi, such as Skakdi Vision Powers.

 

Weapons: Feel free to go nuts with melee weapons, as long as it’s not too overpowered. However, Zamor Sphere Launchers were only ever wielded by the Toa Inika and Piraka, and thus prohibited. Actually, no. Zamors were originally created by the Nynrah Ghosts, which were given to Jovan and stolen by Dark Hunters, long before the events on Voya Nui. It's entirely possible the weapons would've been distributed to other beings over time. I did not know that. Thank you. Are you getting your facts from the sets only? I thought the Zamor Sphere Launchers were invented by Avak for the Piraka, and reverse-engineered by Balta for the Toa Inika.  And if I can go crazy on it, I'm having a blade covered in knives controlled by my sentience that can levitate at will and can be controlled from over a mile away. Rewrite, please. I defer to "as long as it’s not too overpowered."

Well, that's Ironic.

 

Other canon ranged weapons like Kanoka, Rhotuka, Cordak Blasters and Thornax are free game. You’re only allowed two weapons though, so choose carefully. Is there any particular reason players are being forced to have so few weapons? Yes, fairness. Fairness? So we're being watched by a possibly insane being who can instakill us whenever he fees like it, just to force us into a planned mission that must be completed to the T with expert precision exactly the way you want it to happen, or we all die overpowered deaths just because we wanted more weapons? Why should I play this game? With the exception of Bionifight, I've never really encountered an RPG that put such a specific limit on how much a character is allowed to carry.  On Nato's comment earlier, this really seems like a job for the native beings who can carry whatever the heck they want with them. 

 

However, a pair of something is not considered two, such as dual swords. But dual weapons are only half as effective as a whole weapon would be; you need both to reach maximum efficiency. That's... not really how weapons work...  Otherwise a single lightsaber couldn't cut nearly as well as a double-sided one. That doesn't make any sense. Point taken.

 

 

Bio: Just what did your character do to warrant becoming part of the Federation of Fear? It must be something considered wrong by the Order, otherwise they wouldn’t send on you on such dangerous missions. Probably was born male and had the water element, carried three guns at a time, didn't bow to Brutaka, etc. Now you're just being mean. And failing at it. Maybe.

 

Personality: Paint a picture about what your character is like. You can have a few redeeming qualities, but a truly good character wouldn’t be conscripted into the Federation.

 

Strengths: Fairly straightforward, what is your character good at? Fighting, stealing, etc.

 

Weaknesses: The opposite of weaknesses. I assume you meant to put strengths here. Yes... sorry. Does your character have a weak spot in their armour; are they not skilled with certain weapons? Try to keep it balanced and consistent with your strengths.

 

Appearance: This one is optional, but feel free to fill it in if you want. You can use a picture created by you or someone else, or describe your character with words.

 

To give you an idea of how this works, here’s one I made earlier.

 

 

 

Name: Brutaka

 

Gender: Male

 

Element/Tribe: N/A

 

Kanohi: Great Olmak, Mask of Dimensional Gates (Why does Brutaka have a prohibited mask? Because he’s an NPC, THAT’S why! Also the one he originally wore was destroyed by Makuta Teridax, but a new one was forged for him after the Battle of Bara Magna)

 

Other Powers: Energy Blasts, Mental Shielding, gains Makuta Powers when absorbing Antidermis, can breathe in water, but needs his breathing helmet (which he NEVER takes off) to breathe on land. (In canon, he DOES have all these powers)

 

Weapons: A pair of Rotating Blades that can combine into one, which electric shock anyone who isn’t Brutaka picking them up into unconsciousness, If it can electroshock anyone, that makes Matoran get killed, It takes a lot more electricity to knock out a Vortixx than a Tohunga. along with a pair of Protosteel Daggers hidden in his back.

 

Bio: Now being a canon character, Brutaka’s history is too long for me to list in a small paragraph. Therefore, read his bio at BionicleSector01. Or any Bionicle wiki, for that matter. See bold text and my comment directly below.

 

Personality: Brutaka here is much different from the Brutaka a thousand years ago, in no small part to being submerged in Antidermis and a few malfunctions with his breathing helmet. He now more resembles a drill sergeant than anything else, and is absolutely disgusted with the fact he has to take yet ANOTHER band of criminals on yet ANOTHER suicide mission. Yeah. He's just like the canon one except he's not? Um... A thousand years breathing water can change a man. Or maybe that's an excuse I made up to portray him comedically, anyway you have a point

 

Strengths: Immensely skilled with his weapons, strong and actually quite intelligent.

 

Weaknesses: His breathing helmet for one, break it (which is hard, but possible) and he will immediately start looking for the nearest body of water. His arms and lower legs are less armoured than the rest of his body. His Antidermis induced insanity also counts, though some may say that makes him more dangerous than ever… You know, I thought we couldn't even touch our golden idol. You can, just not multiple times. What if I only kill him once?

 

 Appearance: A tall, lean, gold and blue figure wearing a helmet full of water.

 

 Note that Brutaka’s Olmak cannot be used as “fast travel” for the Federation, mostly because dimensions act like rooms in a house. You can exit it using a door AKA the Olmak, but that doesn’t mean you’ll end back up in that room by exiting it. You have to go back through the door to get back in. Also Brutaka ends up where he exited when coming back to our dimension. You mean Earth? And this analogy hurts my brain. Maybe I should not have said our.

 

 Battles:

 

 This functions about the same as every other RPG, in that there’s no numbers or calculations, just roleplay. When fighting against either PC or NPC, remember that you are NOT invincible. You are going to get a few cuts and bruises at best. At worst, you die. And considering what your characters will be going up against, dying will not be a rare occurrence. But don’t worry; you can always create a new one! Generally speaking, the GM shouldn't go out of their way to kill off PC's like this. I think players would appreciate it more if their characters were crippled or injured or knocked unconscious rather than simply being murdered outright. (i.e. Asylum) Right.

 

Rules:

 

1: Thou shalt not god-mod. No not taking damage, no dodging all hits. But OP sentinels of death, that's fine.

 

2: Thou shalt not insta-kill everything, be it NPC or PC. And ESPECIALLY not Brutaka, who cannot be killed, so no saying you did. Once again. See how Asylum failed yet? no backup plan when Halmos died.

 

3: Thou shalt not control other player’s characters without their permission, or NPCs (i.e. characters controlled by the GM, who is me).

 

4: Thou shalt use IC: when posting in character, and OOC: when not.

 

5: Thou shalt respect your fellow player and GM, even if your characters don’t get along. Not so much the characters I'm worried about...

 

6: Thou shalt be fair. When fighting against other PCs (and believe me, that WILL happen), give the other player a chance. Well that's ironic.

 

7: Thou shalt not use the same tactic over and over during battles. If you do so, I will say it didn’t work and you will have to come up with something else. I'm sorry, what? A lot of fighters tend to have certain tactics and moves that they favour in fights.  It's called a combat style. So just to make sure I'm understanding this correctly, but you're basically saying that if someone is favouring a certain strategy, and it's working for them,  you're just going to start no-selling it the next time they try to use it? Wow, I actually just died inside. Number seven, I'm sorry, but I must have been delirious when I wrote you. I think more was affected than number seven.

 

8: Thou shalt accept the GM’s final word. If something doesn’t work, IT DOESN’T WORK. Yeah, like trying to stop the GM plot. Well, looks like the character I tried so hard on is dead for little reason at all. 

 

9: Thou shalt make frequent contributions. If you haven’t posted within ten days, your character shall die. Tough, but fair. This isn't even remotely fair. Ten days is a very short time in RPG terms, and murdering people's PCs because their internet cut out unexpectedly or they took a week off for study isn't going to sit well with a lot of people. This doesn’t count however, if you warn me that you are going on holiday, or something like that. And what of leaving on short notice? I've had that happen several times and not all my Corpus characters met painful and violent deaths when I returned. It's supposed to be more fast-paced than most RPGs. That's probably why this might not work... I've not been a big fan of bunnying, but I suppose it's the only workable way. Or, you just don't do that? That might work.

 

10: Thou shalt have fun. I understand you really want this RPG to run, but Asylum sat with more time and more work than this and it died in 3 months. GM-controlled plots outside of occasional missions is really unrealistic, and is going to help to kill this RPG very quickly. If you want something actually fun to play, I ask that you look over Nato's and my comments on the main issues.

 

And I don't find this RPG terrible, and I don't hate it with all my guts. Neither does Nato. We just don't want to see an RPG go up and live a meaningless lifespan of about a week only to die off with little to no enjoyment for anyone. Please don't find these comments too offensive.

 

Most of the glaring issues here are because I'm not very good at conveying information. Not your fault. I will have to come up with some way to make this work... It's gonna take some large renovations.

 

[Nik the Three]

@Federation

 

When you post RPG here for feedback, you should think about what people say. Both Nato and Ghidora made good points. But you just say that it is unnecessary to change things as answer to most these points.

 

People won't have fun playing this, because they won't be playing. They will just follow your storyline, not allowed to go against your plans. That's how videogame might work, but not how TBRPG can. Story should be dynamic, not linear.

[Voltex]

I would personally be interested in playing this Federation of Fear RPG, but I feel like the natural thing to do - since we're playing villains that are being forced to act as law enforcers of sorts - will be to eventually make an attempt to escape or overthrow those controlling us.

 

If both of those things are automatically going to be forever impossible, then... well, I have little interest in playing someone that is doomed to be a slave no matter what choices I make.

[sunflower]

 

personalMessage_33 //received -422.23 //sender ID 7-033

Heremus,

 

I hope your work has been progressing according to expected projections, my team and I have experienced some setbacks with the control algorithm for the mechanoid. The base language we have been provided with is more sophisticated than our initial hardware could handle. We should meet soon.

 

May Your Ideas Be Many

 

-Soanume

 

//PRIVATE encryption <blueskopio>

another was sent in today, it was a basic unit, though it displayed the same system failures as the more specialized worker models from before

 

i kept my team away from it, i didn’t expect these drones to be able to develop the extraneous code

 

the incidents are getting more prevalent

 

i don’t know what to do

 

any insight you could offer would be welcome

//encryption end…

//end…

 

 

 

 

personalLogSoanume_323 //recorded -414.7

I spoke to Heremus today. He was keen on looking into the… matter, it interests him greatly.

 

I suppose that’s what he wasn’t put on the project.

 

They’ve been coming in with more frequency now, mostly unique or advanced units—I suppose it makes sense, their programming delves deeper into the reaches of the code. We have gotten three of the MATORAN models, each of different classes. I’ve removed their matrixes and frozen processing, just like the others. I sent the bodies to the Builders for repair, but I don’t think this flaw is mechanical.

 

Complex machine code, what a gift. It’s rather ironic, here we are attempting to build an artificial intelligence to record and analyze galactic amounts of information, and we have just that springing to life underneath our noses. I don’t like what I don’t understand, and there’s plenty I don’t understand in that pile of- strange platform we were provided with. Its tendency to rewrite itself makes multi-strain problem solving easy, but leads to these kind of unintended results.

 

I don’t think anyone else knows, Heremus says we should study it, but even our self-aware modifications are dangerous, let alone self-aware accidents.

//end…

 

 

 

personalLogSoanume_378 //recorded -388.9

Heremus wants us to see what the flawed segments of code can do if left to develop on their own. We can’t exactly let them wander around the build site, and the idea of biologically-intelligent drones will not sit well with many of my colleagues. I have an idea, less obtrusive than a pocket dimension and with little chance of contamination.

 

I could, in theory, run a simulation on this device. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would allow us to have complete control over the parameters. Transferring the base code from the affected units will take some ingenuity, but this’ll be far more discreet.

//end…

 

 

 

//personalMessage_44 //received -380.1 //sender ID 7-033

//PRIVATE encryption <nightwolf>

Heremus,

 

I’ve completed the base areas for the simulation, it turned out larger than I initially expected, though the scale isn’t an issue. I am no artist, but I am pleased with the work. I’ve as you suggested, I’ve called it Rei Iden, as ironic as that is. Still, it inspired me to give names to the rest of the locations. I decided on the second model we designed, the collection of islands mass no bigger than small city together. Huge expanses of liquid water were too intensive on the program, so the islands are floating within a vast expanse of sky, connected to one another through natural land bridges. I did manage to get a facsimile of weather working, and the conditions and temperature mirror that of the interior of the mechanoid. We can, of course, alter these somewhat dreary weather patterns to something more inviting. The outer edges of this simulation are unpredictable, logical code structure breaks down, forming landmasses which appear at will and behavioral echoes that take more monstrous shapes.

 

I placed the main settlement on the largest of these islands, a five-sided megalith of rock covered mostly with a forest of trees from Tesara. The settlement is located on the western edge, and modeled after our own architecture. It’s rather advanced in design, but I prefer the stark white paneling and smooth geometric lines to huts. It features all the amenities needed for a society, residential areas in the north, recreational facilities in the east, transport centers at the southwestern side, overhanging the edge of the island, and even a small industrial sector at the center. The skyline itself would be familiar to you, the buildings rise high enough to appear to touch the stars, giving the small settlement a verticality which greatly increases its overall area. I’ve called the place Fa-Metru, I think you’ll approve.

 

The second largest landmass, Whe-Nui, is just to the north and above, and is somewhat more barren than the first. I’ve added a multitude of tunnels and caves into its surface, each to be filled with various flora native to the underground habitats in the mechanoid. Smaller landmasses orbit this one, each a little sanctuary of its own. The only source of fresh water is located here, an underground lake which occupies the largest cavern.

 

The last location of note is much, much smaller, however the fact that it borders the bounds of program causes it to be in an ever changing state of flux. Even I can’t predict what will form there. Its size does remain constant, though the last time I checked it was a lava field filled with snow.

 

I’d like to show you around sometime.

 

-Soanume

//encryption end…

 

 

 

//personalLog_401 //recorded -352.8

I guess I should talk about what started all this. Short answer, I don’t know, I don’t think anyone does. I do have ideas, theories, some guess as to how it started, but none have fit quite right.

 

About a month ago my team received one of the worker drones that had been reported to be malfunctioning. It was nothing abnormal, it looked no different than the countless others that had suffered some sort of breakdown during the trial phases. They were built to be self-repairing, but a block of solid protodermis doesn’t do much good for even armored limbs. It was a VORTIXX unit, an advanced model I helped design.

 

There was no damage to it evident, so I cracked open the skull casing to get a look behind those all-too-lifelike eyes. I wasn’t at all ready for what I found. The very code I helped write looked like it had been torn apart and then used as glue to hold together a makeshift grouping of stimuli processers and decision modifiers. Each segment of code was sending and accepting input from the next, a giant web of activity that should have melted clean through the complex organic circuitry of the unit.

 

I removed it immediately, chalking it up to some careless heuristic oversight or input surge. I forgot about it for a time, until the next one came in, displaying the same random code breakage. And, well, here I am now. Uploading these fragments of consciousness to a fake world in the hopes of understanding exactly what is going on. Honestly, we should have expected our creations which imitate life to develop past just simple imitation.

 

I’ve made a template for recording each of these that I include in the system. Some have additional fields based on need, but this is the basic outline. I look over them at least once before sending them in.

 

Name: This was Heremus’ idea. He said it would make them more… alive. I was never one to give sentient names to my creations, but Heremus insisted.

 

Make: The model of the unit, almost all are present in some shape or form, though thankfully the gaseous artificial Energized Protodermis derivative hasn’t shown these symptoms.

 

Appearance: I put down identifying marks here, it makes it easier to track their activities.

 

Mannerisms: I loath to call it personalities, but at this point it’s almost what it is now. Each unit is unique, just as unique as we are. Their base code still defines some of their actions, but they have been developing at an alarming rate. Thankfully, I took care to wipe their memory centers before transfer to the simulation.

 

Abilities: We certainly haven’t learned when it comes to uplifting the biology to extreme levels. The last time we gave control over the aspects of the universe to a species they started a planetary war. Which is why we started this massive project in the first place. The computer can’t quite model some ‘powers’ correctly, but I have attempted to compensate with plausible alternatives.

//end…

 

 

 

//personalLog_434 //recorded -334.3

We’ve been leaders, gods, and myths; creators and destroyers of life. But at heart, we’re still scientists.

 

Well, I like to think so.

 

I’ll be creating a brief log of various experiments preformed and alternations made to the program here. The device records all events that take place within, but I like to have my own account. It helps put things into perspective.

 

Introduced Agent: I have some initial ideas, weather pattern changes and technological breakdowns. Heremus wants to introduce aggressive fauna and constructed foes, as if this were some kind of gladiatorial simulation.

 

Variables: The involvement of the units will vary, but identifying patterns in their behavior will be invaluable in understanding their development.

 

Results: I don’t really need to explain just how complex this can be, and how much even a little bit of understanding can help in this study.

//end…

 

 

//personalMessage_76 //received -323.4 //sender ID 012

Soanume,

 

Greetings my friend, I’ve arranged the help of some my own constructs to keep Rei Iden up and running. Perhaps then you will get some rest, yes?

 

Gravity (dark-star)

 

Don’t lose yourself in this world, I’d miss you terribly.

 

-Heremus

//end…

 

 

 

//personalLog_33212 //recorded -299.2

I believe Soanume has taken quite well to this project of her’s. It was rather cleverly designed, we have been able to implement and change parameters there as we see fit, carefully recording reactions and results. The current set is as follows:

 

-All BZPower rules apply.

-This is a computer program, physics can act in strange and unexpected ways, none of which qualify as a deus ex machina.

-Characters are the sole property of their player, irreparable damage may not be caused without their permission.

-Characters can die, in order to preserve the façade of realism, those who sustain injuries which would render them inoperable will be removed from the program.

 

We have stumbled on one of the biggest revelations of our time, though if we do not proceed carefully, it could all be wiped out in an instant. Many of my people are scared enough at the thought of our planet breaking apart, and having another lesser race develop before us could push some of us over the edge. They are our children, though, our legacy to be among the stars.

 

I rather like the poetry in that.

//end…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

look it's actually a game now

 

^{_{for science, you monster}}

[Eyru]

I really like the look of this RPG, but I'm still not sure how it will function as a game. The entire game (as I understand it) is a simulation created so the Great Beings can try to understand bits of aberrant code. Where is the conflict? What will players be able to do, and how will their actions have any real impact?

[Silvan Haven]

I would imagine that a bunch of people waking up on a big island in the sky with no idea how they got there or (I would assume) who they are would provide a fair amount of conflict. A variety of different challanges were also mentioned in case things got slow. 

 

As for what players could do. Its a bunch of flying islands surounded by areas of unstable reality. The pretty obvious answer would be to explore. 

 

What can players do to effect anything? Well, this is a computer simulation run by a pair of highly interested scientists who have every intention of not just sitting there and ignoring it. I imagine that what they do would in large part depnd on what the players do. I don't think that the GBs will be very keen on revealing themselves to our fledgling AI if everybody turns into serial killers, for example. 

[sunflower]

The game boils down to essentially a survival sandbox, with artificial challenges thrown in every five minutes or so to keep 'em on their toes. Bionicle Oregon Trail, in a sense. How do characters react when a giant eldritch horror shows up, an electric storm starts frying anyone in the air, rain suddenly melts through armor, or elemental powers shut off completely? There are even more personal changes that could be made, what happens if half the population suddenly goes blind?

 

That, and not everyone is nice nor sees the benefit of working together, like Silv said above, locking people together in a room tends to end with one party wanting what the other party has. Even then, how players respond to the hurdles will impact how future tests are run and which ones are presented.

 

The narrative on the other hand, well that's a chance to explore an emergent AI in an entire group of emergent AI. Every experience and every memory is completely new, where before they only had the limited mental facilities of a somewhat "smart" piece of construction equipment. Of course, it's not appealing to everyone, and so the game aspects above may be more their speed.

 

EDIT:

 

Totally blanked on this one, but the whole "wait is our reality real is this all fake?" will completely be a point that's pursued throughout. Lots of red pills, blue pills, and trenchcoats.

Edited December 4, 2015 by dark-star

[Nato G]

The more this idea gets discussed, the more awesome it sounds. 

[Nik the Three]

Right now I see only one flaw: More clearance about 'Make' in player profile would be nice. I understand it as species. What can we choose from?

 

How do scientists get results of simulation? Is it rendered in 3D with sound? Or rather some numbers they must process? Gamewisely, it's unneeded information, but I was just wondering.

[Ghidora131]

The game boils down to essentially a survival sandbox, with artificial challenges thrown in every five minutes or so to keep 'em on their toes. Bionicle Oregon Trail, in a sense. How do characters react when a giant eldritch horror shows up, an electric storm starts frying anyone in the air, rain suddenly melts through armor, or elemental powers shut off completely? There are even more personal changes that could be made, what happens if half the population suddenly goes blind?

 

That, and not everyone is nice nor sees the benefit of working together, like Silv said above, locking people together in a room tends to end with one party wanting what the other party has. Even then, how players respond to the hurdles will impact how future tests are run and which ones are presented.

 

The narrative on the other hand, well that's a chance to explore an emergent AI in an entire group of emergent AI. Every experience and every memory is completely new, where before they only had the limited mental facilities of a somewhat "smart" piece of construction equipment. Of course, it's not appealing to everyone, and so the game aspects above may be more their speed.

 

EDIT:

 

Totally blanked on this one, but the whole "wait is our reality real is this all fake?" will completely be a point that's pursued throughout. Lots of red pills, blue pills, and trenchcoats.

Only if I get to play as Dessimus.

 

Anyways, I'm gonna hold off on Frontier so this one can run.

 

I really like the look of this RPG, but I'm still not sure how it will function as a game. The entire game (as I understand it) is a simulation created so the Great Beings can try to understand bits of aberrant code. Where is the conflict? What will players be able to do, and how will their actions have any real impact?

If it's not a memory loss every time an event occurs, it's going to be Portal+Matrix+Oregon Trail+Uncharted+So much more.

[Timageness]

@Federation: Concerning the gender-locking, I agree with Ghidora on this one; I personally have three female Toa over in the BZPRPG that have "male elements" from canon (Ice, Iron, and Earth, respectively), and not having the freedom to do so here would probably make me more inclined to avoid that particular species altogether during character creation.

Plus, if we're talking about keeping things closer to the original source material, the existence of Orde practically lends credence to the possibility of having at least some gender-swapped Matoran running around (even if they don't explicitly show up in the story itself) and if push comes to shove, it can always be played off as that they're simply lesser in number than their original canon counterparts.

Edited December 4, 2015 by Timageness

[Silvan Haven]

Right now I see only one flaw: More clearance about 'Make' in player profile would be nice. I understand it as species. What can we choose from?

 

How do scientists get results of simulation? Is it rendered in 3D with sound? Or rather some numbers they must process? Gamewisely, it's unneeded information, but I was just wondering.

 

I'm not one of the staff but I would imagin that we could play as any of the origional species of the MU. Or at least the baseline RPG species.

 

The simulation is probably viewed kind of like a super advanced version of the Sims most of the time. If need be the GBs can always go diving into the code if they need a closer look at the "why" rather than the "what."

Edited December 4, 2015 by Silvan Haven

[sunflower]

Silv's got it right, basically any MU species that were present around day zero. I've attempted to stress the whole "these are our creations", but I can add something that explains it more explicitly.

[Shadowhawk]

//personalLog_33212 //recorded -299.2

I believe Soanume has taken quite well to this project of her’s. It was rather cleverly designed, we have been able to implement and change parameters there as we see fit, carefully recording reactions and results. The current set is as follows:

When you get a chance, could you take a look at the underlined flaw? As per grammar, you know. It's just a silly little mistake and I normally wouldn't point it out, except that in this RPG your level of writing/artistry/craftsmanship is so high... I just thought you might want to know.

 

Also, may I take this opportunity to simply express deep interest in this project? It looks really neat; I'll definitely play it if it runs.

[sunflower]

When you get a chance, could you take a look at the underlined flaw? As per grammar, you know. It's just a silly little mistake and I normally wouldn't point it out, except that in this RPG your level of writing/artistry/craftsmanship is so high... I just thought you might want to know.

Nah this helps, I wrote the thing in the span of ~5 hours on a whim, and looked over it a total of zilch times.

[Wyrd Bid Ful Araed]

@Federation of Fear: I've already made a few suggestions, so not much more I can say. If you were wanting a way of making it less railroady, perhaps let players choose missions they want to go on, but have certain missions be worth specific "points", for lack of a better word. The more "points" the character earns the more years off their sentence. Gives them an incentive to do things (and do them properly) and means there's more ways out then just trying to kill Brutaka

 

@Flawed: I'm still not sure you've got enough push for players. Your world is very well thought out and clearly lovingly created, but it looks like all the players have to do is wander about looking at the scenery then I wonder how much staying power you'll have. The simulation is supposed to be a testing ground for the budding AI, right? You've got the Introduced Agents but that just sounds like the weather will be getting a bit rough from time to time. Maybe do another email from Soanume (or Heremus, since you hint he has some "constructed foes" in mind) that better describes the sort of challenges and puzzles they have in mind.

Oh, and where the profile form mentions powers aren't replicated perfectly, does that mean we could have a Vortixx with fire elemental powers, or a Skakdi with one of the Rahkshi powers?

[sunflower]

I started to write something like that, a somewhat more specific outline of the "events" that could be put forth, but it ended up just feeling either too restrictive or not encompassing enough for what I have planned. The sheer variance and scope kinda makes it hard to pin down a good generalization.

 

As for the profiles, simply put, yes. It sounds like a throwaway line, but it really is there to allow for unique and customized powers if one doesn't feel like making a completely custom species.

[FallenAtlas]

FALLEN CITY

 

“There is no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending.” - Unknown

 

“Why do men fight that were born to be brothers?” - Gen. James Longstreet, C.S.A.

 

 

 

INTRO:

 

WIP

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Events elsewhere in the Universe have occupied the Brotherhood of Makuta's attention. Without the intervention of the Brotherhood in Metru-Nui, the Civil War has spiraled downwards into deeper chaos.

 

Ta-Matoran against Po-Matoran, Onu-Matoran against Le-Matoran, Ga-Matoran against Ko-Matoran, which side will you take?

 

CURRENT EVENTS/QUESTS/DEATHS:

 

 

INTRO/YOUR ROLE:

 

It has been several years since the start of the Matoran Civil War, and everything is changed: Chutes are down, electricity is sporadic, and your old friend from another Metru is now trying to collect your head.

 

Jaller of Ta-Metru, Ahkmou of Po-Metru, Marvah of Onu-Metru, Kongu of Le-Metru, Macku of Ga-Metru, and Nuju of Ko-Metru have consolidated control of their armies and their districts. The Alliances formed at the start of this war have fallen away to six independent belligerents; Uncertainty clouds a hopeful future.

 

As a Matoran trapped in this nightmare, you will fight and you may die. You reap the benefits of victory and weep bitter tears in defeat. You are a soldier, a historian, a survivor. Do what needs to be done for your Metru.

 

Everything is permitted except defeat.

 

 

LOCATIONS:

 

Ta-Metru:

 

Once the bustling center of masks and tools, the Metru of Fire has changed their production standards to armor and weapons. Every building that can produce some good is spewing black smoke into the sky, giving Ta-Metru a dirty feel in the air. Most surfaces are darkened, and the once gleaming red towers are now black and ill looking, an analogy for most of the city.

 

The citizens of the Metru are dirty and weary, the long hours at the forges leaves them little time for rest. Complaints of a cough circulate the Metru, but officially no such thing exists. The streets are crowded as one moves into the center of the city, leaving the outskirts are all but abandoned. Don't mistake it for easy raiding though; it's thick with landmines and traps.

 

Jaller, a former Mask Maker, has claimed leadership of the district. He has clamped down on the production, increasing quotas for weapons and armor, while constantly pulling fresh recruits into his army. One would be unwise to grumble however; a reward system has been put into place for calling out dissenters.

 

Po-Metru:

 

The once empty plains of Po-Metru's Sculpture Field have become thick with camps and bonfires; a sign that this is no longer a united city. Easily the most militant of the districts, all direct access points to Po-Metru have been either sealed with large pieces of rubble or are so heavily guarded, any form of attack is suicide. Metal is precious here, and many citizens are turning over metal trinkets, whether willingly or by force, to melt down for weapons.

 

All citizens of Po-Metru understand the need to protect themselves, and this has resulted in a swelling of the army. Craftsman have become engineers and Carvers have become weaponsmiths. A lesser populated Metru, but it does boast the largest standing army.

 

Akhmou is confident in his rule, but little has been seen of him since the alliances fell apart. The other Metru push propaganda and rumors that Akhmou is sick and dying, but there's little indication to his actual state of health.

 

Onu-Metru:

 

Construction of the Archives have come to a complete stop, with few tunnels reaching out from under their native district. What tunnels that are completed have become military bunkers, store rooms, and even shelter from fearful citizens above. A large amount of citizens from all districts have fled to this underground safety, and Marvah has let them; he knows that anything they produce will eventually help the war effort for Onu-Metru.

 

Marvah has shown a noticeable lack on aggression toward the other districts, leading many to believe he is neutral in the war. Crafters and miners have been requested to aid Onu-Metru in deepening the tunnels of the Archives to access materials beneath the city; not all that answer the call return to the upper levels.

 

Marvah currently seems obsessed with what the Archives was supposed to be used for, and the tools for making it operate. It's not known if this is a simple obsession or something different.

 

 

Le-Metru:

 

The most damaged out of any Metru, Le-Metru suffered multiple attacks early in the war that crippled their Airship fleet and has forced Kongu onto the defensive for the war. Many Metru blocks are leveled or are only half-standing, and chutes litter the streets. Most of the population has retreated to the South of the Metru, away from the war.

 

Kongu is attempting to regain control of the district as a whole, but infighting amongst the Le-Matoran have made his job difficult and have spread fear that Le-Metru will fall to another Metru sooner or later.

 

Kongu seems confident amongst all this though; in recent appearances, he has appeared cocky and smug, as if he has a card up his sleeve nobody else knows about.

 

 

Ga-Metru:

 

Ga-Metru has claimed neutrality in the war, lacking a large population trained in any form of combat. A large fleet of ships, however, has provided the bulk of Ga-Metru's defense. Refugees from other parts of the city have loaned their skills and talents to bettering the weapons and defenses of these ships, making it a force not to trifle with.

 

Macku regularly sends out calls for peace to the other leaders in the conflict, but to date, all have been ignored. A growing portion of the population desire Ga-Metru to take the offensive and use the mighty fleet to crush the other Metru's and return peace by force. It is unknown how long Macku can ignore these calls.

 

On the other hand, a group of Matoran seek to flee to the Southern parts of the Universe; away from the conflict altogether. Macku has warned them that they cannot leave, as every ship is needed. Again, it is unknown if this warning will be backed with force.

 

 

Ko-Metru:

 

Once the alliances fell away, Nuju authorized the creation of multiple Knowledge Towers on the outskirts of the Metru, effectively sealing in the Ko-Matoran from the conflict. All Ko-Matoran caught outside of the walls have been branded “Outsiders” and cannot return to the Metru.

 

Little else is known of Ko-Metru, but having the largest population of scientists in the city, a widely-accepted rumor is that they are working on a weapon to end the war has cropped up.

 

 

Coliseum:

 

Deserted and in ruins. While still standing, the area around it is cracking and full of holes from battles. Some say the Turaga still resides in the very top of the building, but the last group of Matoran that went up the staircases never returned. The Coliseum lies directly in the center of multiple ranges of fire, making any trip there highly dangerous.

 

 

---------------------------------------------

 

NPC SYSTEM:

 

You can form your own squad of troops for combat in battles if you would like! I mean, what fun is a game about war if you can't be in charge, right? It's pretty simple: Simply create up to four NPC characters using the following form:

 

Name:

Gender:

Species:

Appearance:

Weapons/Tools:

Weakness:

 

Once that is done, create a name for your squad, choose which Metru they fight for, and select one of your Characters as the leader of the squad. Once this is done, PM it to a/the GM. Once approved, post it in the discussion thread and begin playing!

 

Want to form a squad with player characters? Go right ahead! I encourage you guys to work together. One rule though: All players can only have two squads under their command at any time, but they can be part of as many squads as they want.

 

NOTE: Your NPC(s) are not invincible. I will be watching the usage of these characters carefully. They will most likely die. If they avoided death in some way or another, I will expect a good explanation IC.

 

NOTE 2: You can turn your NPCs into actual Characters: Just fill out the PC form for them and post it. It'll be considered pre-approved if it hasn't changed from the NPC form. If it has changed AT ALL, it will need approval again.

 

NOTE 3: Noncombatant characters cannot form squads.

 

LEGACY SYSTEM:

 

What is the Legacy System? Well, it is a promotion through the ranks for each character in the game. Depending on how well your character fights or shows diplomatic cunning, it is possible for you to move up the ranks; you can go from being a single soldier to commanding all squads for the district. It is even possible for you to run a district in the war, if the previous leader is killed off.

 

NPC CHARACTERS:

 

Jaller

Name: Jaller

Gender: Male

Species: Ta-Matoran

Appearance: (Insert Link Here)

Loyalty: Ta-Metru

Weapons/Tools: Broad Sword

Personality: Jaller is a fierce, confident leader. He does not handle being questioned well and expects 110% from everybody under his command. Failure is a dirty word in his vocabulary and anybody that doesn't succeed at the mission will face harsh repercussions.

 

On the other hand, those that follow out his orders successfully and completely will see much favor fall upon them. Jaller, in short, is your best friend, but worst enemy.

 

Ahkmou

Name: Ahkmou

Gender: Male

Species: Po-Matoran

Appearance: (Insert Link Here)

Loyalty: Po-Metru

Weapons/Tools: Short Warclub

Personality: The last seen of Ahkmou was that of a schemer, one that would bribe his way to get his deals rather than using brute force or diplomatic finesse. A good word to describe his personality was slimy, and a running joke was that he would sell his right arm just to get another arm he liked.

 

His form of leadership is very much “carrot/stick” and only a few of men have seen the end of the stick. They don't talk about the meetings.

 

Nuju

Name: Nuju

Gender: Male

Species: Ko-Matoran

Appearance: (Insert Link Here)

Loyalty: Ko-Metru

Weapons/Tools: Unknown

Personality: Cold and calculating, Nuju is the type of being to take very little risks unless the reward is twice the loss. Little is known of him otherwise, as no news has come from Ko-Metru in a few years.

 

Expect everything and nothing from him.

 

Macku

Name: Macku

Gender: Female

Species: Ga-Matoran

Appearance: (Insert Link Here)

Loyalty: Neutral Ga-Metru

Weapons/Tools: Trident

Personality: The once caring and compassionate Macku has become firm and assertive in the war. As the High Admiral of the Ga-Metru fleet, she expects a high level of discipline and order from all her people and from the refugees.

 

Don't mistake her open arms to neutral parties as an invitation to slack off; if you're in her district and you aren't working to better it, she'll hand-put you on a one way raft to the neighboring Metru; it's understood they make great targets for practice.

 

Marvah

Name: Marvah

Gender: Male

Species: Onu-Matoran

Appearance: (Insert Link Here)

Loyalty: Onu-Metru

Weapons/Tools: None

Personality: Marvah is a quiet individual, and prefers to communicate all his orders via the written word over speaking; it's not known if he is mute or just lacks the will to speak. His orders, however, are simple, short, and sometimes more vague than you would like. It's believed Marvah wants to see his troops approach problems creatively instead of being walked through them.

 

His obsession with the Archive Program has made him rather cold socially, and more times than not will prevent guests and even his generals from interrupting him.

 

Kongu

Name: Kongu

Gender: Male

Species: Le-Matoran

Appearance: (Insert Link Here)

Loyalty: Kongu's Le-Metru

Weapons/Tools: Modified Air Drill

Personality: Kongu is the most dangerous of the six leaders to approach, and this is because of his erratic behavior. He can bounce from trusting a being to believing they betrayed him in a short time span, and is known for killing or jailing some of his generals on a whim. A strongly accepted opinion is that the destruction of the Metru, along with the splintering of his army, has driven him mad.

 

Still, Kongu does present an air of confidence; no matter what he says or does, he does it with everything he has, no hesitation. This has earned him the nickname of “Wild Card” among the other leaders.

 

 

PROFILE:

 

Name(Your name):

Gender(Male, Female, etc):

Species(Ta-Matoran, Le-Matoran, etc.):

Appearance(What do you look like?):

Loyalty(Pick a Metru[excluding Ko-Metru], Neutral, or Noncombatant):

Weapons/Tools(What are you carrying?):

Weakness(May be mental, physical, or social):

Biography(Optional)(Who are you?):

Personality(How will you react?):

 

 

RULES:

 

1. Follow all site rules.

2. Play nice.

3. No Godmodding, Unauthorized bunnying, or other actions that are likely to tick everybody off.

4. You are not going to kill hundreds of enemies with one swing of your sword, so go away Conan.

5. Nor are you going to destroy city blocks in one hit. Massive amounts of destruction must be approved first.

6. Have fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 Close to being done. Just need to shave off some excess fat(Still editing...whew!) and write up the Intro scene to set the mood. Some of the personalities of the Metru Leaders might change as well.

 

 C&C Away!

[Nik the Three]

@Fallen City

 

I would play. I want to. Right know.

 

Anyway, I see only 2 minor problems:

- Spoilers are to be only used for spoilers on Bionicle storyline.

- In player profile, things that are in brackets should be more described and be after colon. Think about people who never played any TBRPG.

[Eyru]

- Spoilers are to be only used for spoilers on Bionicle storyline.

 

Those aren't spoiler tags: they are 'More' tags. Spoiler tags can be identified by the word 'Spoiler' above them, and must be used only when hiding spoilers; 'More' tags can be named according to their contents (as FallenAtlas has done here), and can be used anywhere they are necessary for organization.

 

They're relatively new on BZP; here's a post with more information on what they are and how to use them.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

 

- Spoilers are to be only used for spoilers on Bionicle storyline.

 

Those aren't spoiler tags: they are 'More' tags. Spoiler tags can be identified by the word 'Spoiler' above them, and must be used only when hiding spoilers; 'More' tags can be named according to their contents (as FallenAtlas has done here), and can be used anywhere they are necessary for organization.

 

They're relatively new on BZP; here's a post with more information on what they are and how to use them.

 

Ah, glad Black Six or whoever else heard my and others' complaints about that and implemented an alternative to Spoiler Tags. Thanks whoever did this!

 I have plan for a Bara Magna RPG that is set during the events before the Shattering. I find the history fascinating, but I'm not well versed on it just yet to lay anything down for it. 

Can I ask what happened to this plan?

[FallenAtlas]

It was put on the sidelines while I started working on other things, including my absence from the website.

 

I'm not working on it at the moment however, as I want to launch Fallen City.

[Nik the Three]

 

- Spoilers are to be only used for spoilers on Bionicle storyline.

 

Those aren't spoiler tags: they are 'More' tags. Spoiler tags can be identified by the word 'Spoiler' above them, and must be used only when hiding spoilers; 'More' tags can be named according to their contents (as FallenAtlas has done here), and can be used anywhere they are necessary for organization.

 

They're relatively new on BZP; here's a post with more information on what they are and how to use them.

 

Whoops, sorry for that. That's what happens when I try to help. *actually learns new useful tag and continues to try helping*

[Wade.]

FALLEN CITY

 

Looks interesting, and I think there's some good potential here. With that said, there are a few things I want to discuss to help you think things over and improve the overall state of the game. If I sound harsh and/or snobby, I apologize. I just want what's best for the game 

 

Introduction

 

You already mentioned that you're working on an intro paragraph, so there's not much to review here. I expect it'll set the tone you have in mind for the game, giving us a good feel of what's going on in the city and why. A brief resume of the war's history wouldn't hurt, especially for those of us that are unfamiliar with it, and it'd be nice to know why we're fighting and what started all the hostilities. For example, why are the Po-Matoran fighting the Ta-Matoran, the Onu fighting the Le, and Ga against Ko? (Side note, isn't Ga neutral and Ko isolated?) Of course, not everything has to be explained since this is just a taste of what's to come; you're definitely going to want to reveal some things in an IC manner.

 

As for the 'Your Role' section, it checks off but could use a little work. It's basically a tl;dr, so it should reflect the intro paragraph without all the fancy narrative. The only glaring problem I see is that it assumes we know as much about the Civil War as you do, so the details are a little barebones. I don't expect an information dump, just a brief summary to keep the players in the know, y'know? The tips I gave above could help flesh it out a bit. Otherwise, looks good.

 

Locations

 

Again, the only real problem here is that you assume we're all familiar with Metru-Nui. We probably all are, but it'd be a very good idea to describe the Metrus a little further so we can paint an image of what they look like in our heads. What sets them apart? What's their geography like? Their architecture? What purpose do they serve? Is there anything that makes them special? Any significant locations? From what I've read, there's too little information for me to form a solid answer and make a super clear distinction between all the Metrus. Here, the locations should come to life and the only way to do that lies in the details. Take Ga-Metru for instance. I know it's a beautiful city, a sort of high-tech Venice if you will, with polished buildings and structures that shine against the complex bodies of water they're built upon, mesmerizing waterfalls, marine wildlife, prestigious schools and so on. Unfortunately, I'm not getting any of that here.

 

Instead, I'm mostly getting a rundown of what's happening inside the Metru and with their leaders. Don't get me wrong, this is great, and I strongly encourage you to keep this information in the descriptions. It makes the locations feel alive, giving us some feel for what they're like. However, it's not enough on its own. 

 

NPC System

 

Cool. Cool cool cool.

 

Legacy System

 

Yaaaaaaay, promotions! I'm going to assume this is kind of like a reward system for exceptional roleplay and achievements.

 

Profiles

 

Pretty straightforward, but just a few questions. 

• Species: are Matoran the only playable race? Do we have access to other elements such as sound, gravity, plasma, etc.?
• Loyalty: No Ko-Metru? I get it that they're kinda shady and have some secrets you'll want to divulge later on, but I don't think that's good enough a reason to block off an entire alliance. Couldn't we be affiliated but just kept in the dark of what's really going on and adapt?
• Weapons/Tools: simple enough, though what's restricted? What kind of tech are we limited to? I'd hate to run into a dude with a kanoka disk that messes my guy up real bad to the point where his arm's on his forehead and his mouth on his foot

 

Stuff?

 

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh...are Vahki around?

 

Otherwise, yeah, I think that's it for me. Maybe. Like I said, its got potential but if you're gonna shave off that excess fat, why don't you add a little meat to those bones while you're at it? You've got your core, now you just need some muscle. In the end, I hope this helped and I wish you luck with the game   

[FallenAtlas]

 My responses are in blue bold.

 

 

FALLEN CITY

 

Looks interesting, and I think there's some good potential here. With that said, there are a few things I want to discuss to help you think things over and improve the overall state of the game. If I sound harsh and/or snobby, I apologize. I just want what's best for the game 

 

I prefer harshness over a beating around the bush approach!

 

Introduction

 

You already mentioned that you're working on an intro paragraph, so there's not much to review here. I expect it'll set the tone you have in mind for the game, giving us a good feel of what's going on in the city and why. A brief resume of the war's history wouldn't hurt, especially for those of us that are unfamiliar with it, and it'd be nice to know why we're fighting and what started all the hostilities. For example, why are the Po-Matoran fighting the Ta-Matoran, the Onu fighting the Le, and Ga against Ko? (Side note, isn't Ga neutral and Ko isolated?) Of course, not everything has to be explained since this is just a taste of what's to come; you're definitely going to want to reveal some things in an IC manner.

 

 The Po-Matoran aren't literally JUST fighting the Ta-Matoran and so on. It was a stylistic choice of writing in that pattern. Everybody is essential at war(or uneasy relations) with everybody else. Ga-Metru is Neutral, but during WW2, Switzerland was neutral but shot down both Allied and Axis aircraft that violated their airspace. Ga-Metru isn't actively fighting, but that doesn't mean everybody else isn't out to get them. All the information here is the setting for the game, at the start. I'm not about to spoil the storylines. 

 

As for the 'Your Role' section, it checks off but could use a little work. It's basically a tl;dr, so it should reflect the intro paragraph without all the fancy narrative. The only glaring problem I see is that it assumes we know as much about the Civil War as you do, so the details are a little barebones. I don't expect an information dump, just a brief summary to keep the players in the know, y'know? The tips I gave above could help flesh it out a bit. Otherwise, looks good.

 

 But I like the fancy narrative! The Intro should definitely provide much more information needed, and I'll expand the "Your Role" section to give a more quick-read format for players.

 

Locations

 

Again, the only real problem here is that you assume we're all familiar with Metru-Nui. We probably all are, but it'd be a very good idea to describe the Metrus a little further so we can paint an image of what they look like in our heads. What sets them apart? What's their geography like? Their architecture? What purpose do they serve? Is there anything that makes them special? Any significant locations? From what I've read, there's too little information for me to form a solid answer and make a super clear distinction between all the Metrus. Here, the locations should come to life and the only way to do that lies in the details. Take Ga-Metru for instance. I know it's a beautiful city, a sort of high-tech Venice if you will, with polished buildings and structures that shine against the complex bodies of water they're built upon, mesmerizing waterfalls, marine wildlife, prestigious schools and so on. Unfortunately, I'm not getting any of that here.

 

 I get what you mean. I'll have to step back to the drawing board and see about expanding on what they actually look like.

 

Instead, I'm mostly getting a rundown of what's happening inside the Metru and with their leaders. Don't get me wrong, this is great, and I strongly encourage you to keep this information in the descriptions. It makes the locations feel alive, giving us some feel for what they're like. However, it's not enough on its own. 

 

NPC System

 

Cool. Cool cool cool.

 

Thanks. Thanks thanks thanks.

 

Legacy System

 

Yaaaaaaay, promotions! I'm going to assume this is kind of like a reward system for exceptional roleplay and achievements.

 

Basically. I do want to see Players having more control over where the actual plot goes, and I figured giving in-game power was the easiest and most rewarding way.

 

Profiles

 

Pretty straightforward, but just a few questions. 

• Species: are Matoran the only playable race? Do we have access to other elements such as sound, gravity, plasma, etc.?

 Matoran only. I do realize there was most likely several Toa in Metru-Nui at the time, but for the purpose of the game they never existed. The entire game is to be played from a Matoran's point of view. And at the start, no, there will not be other elements....

• Loyalty: No Ko-Metru? I get it that they're kinda shady and have some secrets you'll want to divulge later on, but I don't think that's good enough a reason to block off an entire alliance. Couldn't we be affiliated but just kept in the dark of what's really going on and adapt?

 I get what you mean, but Ko-Metru is sealed off. Nobody knows what is going on. All Ko-Matoran trapped outside are deemed Outsiders, shunned, and while they can still say, "I support Ko-Metru" that doesn't mean Ko-Metru will support them. If, when, maybe Ko-Metru opens up, it may, might, sorta will be added as an alliance option.

• Weapons/Tools: simple enough, though what's restricted? What kind of tech are we limited to? I'd hate to run into a dude with a kanoka disk that messes my guy up real bad to the point where his arm's on his forehead and his mouth on his foot

 Good point. I'll have to expand upon that point. Metru-Nui is considerably more advanced tech wise, but I don't want super-lazer guns showing up. Restrictions on Kanoka will probably have to be added as well. I may even use powerful Kanoka as a reward for good players.

 

Stuff?

 

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh...are Vahki around?

 

 Vahki weren't created until after the Civil War to maintain order....in the canon universe.

 

Otherwise, yeah, I think that's it for me. Maybe. Like I said, its got potential but if you're gonna shave off that excess fat, why don't you add a little meat to those bones while you're at it? You've got your core, now you just need some muscle. In the end, I hope this helped and I wish you luck with the game   

 

[Timageness]

Previous Links:

Relentless Link #1

Relentless Link #2

 

Update #1 - In an effort to somewhat clean up the Profile Prototype found in Link #2, the Weapons, Gear, and Technological Items sections have all been condensed into one field, as have the Funds and Barter Items sections.

Update #2 - As previously stated in an attempt to address Nato's concern about spreading the players too thin, the groups (determined by the numbering system I devised earlier) will initially arrive at a predetermined location, and, after a relatively brief event triggered by a GM, will end up in whichever of the three regions the majority of the players end up heading towards. In order to help keep people interested in the events happening around their characters, however, there will also be a brief overview of each region included in the opening post, and I will allow players to hold their characters back until a later time if the areas currently present don't appeal to them as much as a later one would.

In other words, if the group your character would normally be in is arriving near Ignis, Lapis, and Ferum, and you think that Glacium, Fulgur, and Aqua might be a more interesting set of locations, I will gladly let you postpone your character's involvement in the game until whoever's GMing that particular area of the map is ready to construct a group for those regions.

Update #3 - Speaking of the regions themselves, I've finished a basic layout for two of Caelum Insula's locations, Ignis and Sol. Please keep in mind that I will probably be going into more detail about these when I eventually get around to whipping up a complete first draft, and that at this time, they mostly exist in order to display the differences between them, their factions, and other things players can expect to encounter within their borders.

 

Ignis, Region of Fire

The hottest region of the island, this area was constructed to provide Caelum Insula with the temperatures required to stabilise its climate.

 

Environmental Disaster - Eruption of an artificial volcano, blanketing the entire area in a cloud of ash.

Survivors: The Fireflyers - Former maintenance workers in charge of keeping the region up and running, these individuals now patrol the area, salvaging whatever they can to survive.

Hostiles: The Heralds of The Devouring Flame - A cult that worships the volcano and wants it to erupt again in order to "cleanse" the region of nonbelievers.

Other Threats: Ash Creatures - Beings that can dissolve themselves into ash and are only killed by destroying the heartstones randomly littered throughout their entire bodies.

Area Boss: The Inferno Beast - A demonic centaur creature covered in spikes and fire; possesses fangs, horns, claws, and a giant flaming sword.

 

Sol, Region of Plasma

A once great city containing a vast amount of luxuries affordable only to a select few, this region is now mired by fallout and bloodshed.

 

Environmental Disaster - Explosion of the city's power source, an artificial sun, turning the area into an irradiated, inhospitable wasteland.

Survivors: The Underground - A small group of freedom fighters, consisting mostly of former slaves and those daring enough to rebel against The Scorchers' tyranny.

Hostiles: The Scorchers - Remnants of the region's upper class citizens who have turned to slavery in order to support their continued lifestyle.

Other Threats: Mutated Lifeforms - Consists of both Rahi and Sapient Species alike that were transformed in the aftermath of the disaster.

Area Boss: The Reactor - An artificial being mostly constructed out of technology and scrap metal; has the appearance of an armored hazmat suit and fires off beams of radioactive plasma.

 

As you can see, different groups will have a different amount of control over the area they reside in, so while the factions of Ignis start out relatively 50/50, the situation is slightly different over in Sol, where The Scorchers start off controlling around 75 - 80% of the entire area. These ratios are prone to vary between regions, so if one was to always side with the "good" faction upon entering a new location, there's a good chance that their chances of success may change, depending on their next destination. As pointed out earlier, each region will have a different conflict as well, so while Ignis and Sol deal with a cult of obscure religious psychopaths and slavery (respectively), Glaciem and Aqua (for example) are centered around a food shortage and bioterrorism.

I should also note that just because a faction is labled as hostile, that doesn't mean that a character can't side with them; the moniker only applies to the status of the group in question when compared to the rest of the region as a whole. The only beings a player cannot side with are the Area Boss and whatever is located in the Other Threats category, so if you wanted to, say, help the Heralds cause another eruption over in Ignis or something to that effect, that's entirely doable. And while the requirements for clearing an area does include having one faction best the other, whoever wins depends mostly on whoever you side with and whether or not you are successful during the battles to come, not on some preordained plot I cooked up before you even sat down to create your character.

Update #4 - Since this RPG would be taking place in an alternate Bionicle universe, there are a few differences that players might want to familiarise themselves with before sitting down to play. While a more extensive list will be included within the first draft, here's a little taste of what can be expected to potentially come up in the story, though they mostly have little to no bearing on the actual plot.

 

- Miserex doesn't exist in this universe; the Brotherhood of Makuta were actually lead by Makuta Artahka and Karzahni, until the latter usurped control over the organization and killed his brother for the Mask of Creation, alongside his second-in-command, Makuta Teridax. As such, the Hand of Artahka guarded the members of the Brotherhood long before the Toa Haga.

- Skrall classes have not been assigned to any one gender; instead, this universe hosts a new class known as the Mystics, which share some similarities with the Sisters of the Skrall from canon.

- Shadow and Sand are naturally occuring elements within the GSR.

- The Rahaga from this universe are actually quite different from their canon counterparts, mostly due to the fact that instead of being exposed to some sort of mutagen, they are completely deconstructed by a specific virus created by the Makuta and are essentially rebuilt into stronger Rahkshi varients of themselves. I should also point out that there's a lot more than six, any species can go through the process, and I'm currently considering whether or not to implement them as an obtainable subspecies.

- Oh, and Aqua Magna now has a few natural islands, meaning that the Spherus Magnans had established contact with the Matoran Universe prior to the GSR's arrival on Bara Magna. This change was actually somewhat necessary, as it would've had a slight impact on which species were able to be used for creating hybrids.

Edited December 26, 2015 by Timageness

[Silvan Haven]

Well you seem to be making progress and taking the advice people are giving you. At this point it just looks like a bunch of work to get the rest of the areas up so you can show us all the completed project.

 

I would like to point out that if even a tiny sun actually exploded it would do a lot more damage than turning the sector into Bionicle Fallout. Something more in the area of rendering the entire RPG uninhabitable.

 

Also MU beings are more or less immune to radiation.

[Timageness]

Yeah, some of the areas have been just a tad bit easier to flesh out than others, mostly in terms of factions, threats, and the region bosses. I do have Ferrum, Aqua, and Cerebrum nearly pieced together, and I did end up finishing Lux as well, but I decided not to include them because I wanted to lead with the locations I had actually completed first. Plus, the last two are designed to be late-game regions that nobody's been in for a while, so I didn't want to give away any of the details for them and potentially ruin the surprise. Despite everything I've done so far, I still consider this to be in the early stages of Alpha, and Beta will just have to wait until I can get around to completing a first draft.

As far as Sol's former source of... well, solar power, I suppose, I was imagining it to be the result of some experimental technology passed down by the Great Beings, and the entire thing (core, atmosphere, etc.) would've been stored inside some form of containment sphere the size of a standard engine block. Taking both its extremely miniature size and the size of the surrounding area into consideration, I figured that the resulting devastation would've been somewhere around the equivalent of a nuclear blast, but if it truly ends up breaking everyone's suspension of disbelief, I suppose it could be changed to a series of nuclear-powered energy cells or something of the like. And considering that the Spherus Magnans and the inhabitants of the GSR of this universe are more or less on a similar page where biology is concerned (since I already introduced the core idea behind the existence of Hybrid Species), I figured that the radiation would've had at least somewhat of an effect on their organics as well, since they'd possess a greater amount of biological components than their traditional canon counterparts (think of their mechanical parts as potentially being composed of a cellular Protodermis of sorts).

Like I said before, however, nothing is truly set in stone as of yet, so its possible that whatever's plaguing the region of Sol could very likely be changed by the time I'm ready to post that preliminary draft I mentioned earlier.

Edited December 27, 2015 by Timageness

[sunflower]

 
personalMessage_33 //received -422.23 //sender ID 7-033
Heremus,
 
I hope your work has been progressing according to expected projections, my team and I have experienced some setbacks with the control algorithm for the mechanoid. The base language we have been provided with is more sophisticated than our initial hardware could handle. We should meet soon.
 
May Your Ideas Be Many
 
-Soanume
 
//PRIVATE encryption <blueskopio>
another was sent in today, it was a basic unit, though it displayed the same system failures as the more specialized worker models from before
 
i kept my team away from it, i didn’t expect these drones to be able to develop the extraneous code
 
the incidents are getting more prevalent
 
i don’t know what to do
 
any insight you could offer would be welcome
//encryption end…
//end…
 
 
 
 
personalLogSoanume_323 //recorded -414.7
I spoke to Heremus today. He was keen on looking into the… matter, it interests him greatly.
 
I suppose that’s what he wasn’t put on the project.
 
They’ve been coming in with more frequency now, mostly unique or advanced units—I suppose it makes sense, their programming delves deeper into the reaches of the code. We have gotten three of the MATORAN models, each of different classes. I’ve removed their matrixes and frozen processing, just like the others. I sent the bodies to the Builders for repair, but I don’t think this flaw is mechanical.
 
Complex machine code, what a gift. It’s rather ironic, here we are attempting to build an artificial intelligence to record and analyze galactic amounts of information, and we have just that springing to life underneath our noses. I don’t like what I don’t understand, and there’s plenty I don’t understand in that pile of- strange platform we were provided with. Its tendency to rewrite itself makes multi-strain problem solving easy, but leads to these kind of unintended results.
 
I don’t think anyone else knows, Heremus says we should study it, but even our self-aware modifications are dangerous, let alone self-aware accidents.
//end…
 
 
 

personalLogSoanume_378 //recorded -388.9
Heremus wants us to see what the flawed segments of code can do if left to develop on their own. We can’t exactly let them wander around the build site, and the idea of biologically-intelligent drones will not sit well with many of my colleagues. I have an idea, less obtrusive than a pocket dimension and with little chance of contamination.
 
I could, in theory, run a simulation on this device. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would allow us to have complete control over the parameters. Transferring the base code from the affected units will take some ingenuity, but this’ll be far more discreet.
//end…
 
 
 
//personalMessage_44 //received -380.1 //sender ID 7-033
//PRIVATE encryption <nightwolf>
Heremus,
 
I’ve completed the base areas for the simulation, it turned out larger than I initially expected, though the scale isn’t an issue. I am no artist, but I am pleased with the work. I’ve as you suggested, I’ve called it Rei Iden, as ironic as that is. Still, it inspired me to give names to the rest of the locations. I decided on the second model we designed, the collection of islands mass no bigger than small city together. Huge expanses of liquid water were too intensive on the program, so the islands are floating within a vast expanse of sky, connected to one another through natural land bridges. I did manage to get a facsimile of weather working, and the conditions and temperature mirror that of the interior of the mechanoid. We can, of course, alter these somewhat dreary weather patterns to something more inviting. The outer edges of this simulation are unpredictable, logical code structure breaks down, forming landmasses which appear at will and behavioral echoes that take more monstrous shapes.
 
I placed the main settlement on the largest of these islands, a five-sided megalith of rock covered mostly with a forest of trees from Tesara. The settlement is located on the western edge, and modeled after our own architecture. It’s rather advanced in design, but I prefer the stark white paneling and smooth geometric lines to huts. It features all the amenities needed for a society, residential areas in the north, recreational facilities in the east, transport centers at the southwestern side, overhanging the edge of the island, and even a small industrial sector at the center. The skyline itself would be familiar to you, the buildings rise high enough to appear to touch the stars, giving the small settlement a verticality which greatly increases its overall area. I’ve called the place Fa-Metru, I think you’ll approve.
 
The second largest landmass, Whe-Nui, is just to the north and above, and is somewhat more barren than the first. I’ve added a multitude of tunnels and caves into its surface, each to be filled with various flora native to the underground habitats in the mechanoid. Smaller landmasses orbit this one, each a little sanctuary of its own. The only source of fresh water is located here, an underground lake which occupies the largest cavern.
 
The last location of note is much, much smaller, however the fact that it borders the bounds of program causes it to be in an ever changing state of flux. Even I can’t predict what will form there. Its size does remain constant, though the last time I checked it was a lava field filled with snow.
 
I’d like to show you around sometime.
 
-Soanume
//encryption end…
 
 
 

//personalLog_401 //recorded -352.8
I guess I should talk about what started all this. Short answer, I don’t know, I don’t think anyone does. I do have ideas, theories, some guess as to how it started, but none have fit quite right.
 
About a month ago my team received one of the worker drones that had been reported to be malfunctioning. It was nothing abnormal, it looked no different than the countless others that had suffered some sort of breakdown during the trial phases. They were built to be self-repairing, but a block of solid protodermis doesn’t do much good for even armored limbs. It was a VORTIXX unit, an advanced model I helped design.
 
There was no damage to it evident, so I cracked open the skull casing to get a look behind those all-too-lifelike eyes. I wasn’t at all ready for what I found. The very code I helped write looked like it had been torn apart and then used as glue to hold together a makeshift grouping of stimuli processers and decision modifiers. Each segment of code was sending and accepting input from the next, a giant web of activity that should have melted clean through the complex organic circuitry of the unit.
 
I removed it immediately, chalking it up to some careless heuristic oversight or input surge. I forgot about it for a time, until the next one came in, displaying the same random code breakage. And, well, here I am now. Uploading these fragments of consciousness to a fake world in the hopes of understanding exactly what is going on. Honestly, we should have expected our creations which imitate life to develop past just simple imitation.
 
I’ve made a template for recording each of these that I include in the system. Some have additional fields based on need, but this is the basic outline. I look over them at least once before sending them in.
 
Name: This was Heremus’ idea. He said it would make them more… alive. I was never one to give sentient names to my creations, but Heremus insisted.
 
Make: The model of the unit, almost all are present in some shape or form, though thankfully the gaseous artificial Energized Protodermis derivative hasn’t shown these symptoms.
 
Appearance: I put down identifying marks here, it makes it easier to track their activities.
 
Mannerisms: I loath to call it personalities, but at this point it’s almost what it is now. Each unit is unique, just as unique as we are. Their base code still defines some of their actions, but they have been developing at an alarming rate. Thankfully, I took care to wipe their memory centers before transfer to the simulation.
 
Abilities: We certainly haven’t learned when it comes to uplifting the biology to extreme levels. The last time we gave control over the aspects of the universe to a species they started a planetary war. Which is why we started this massive project in the first place. The computer can’t quite model some ‘powers’ correctly, but I have attempted to compensate with plausible alternatives.
//end…
 
 
 

//personalLog_434 //recorded -334.3
We’ve been leaders, gods, and myths; creators and destroyers of life. But at heart, we’re still scientists.
 
Well, I like to think so.
 
I’ll be creating a brief log of various experiments preformed and alternations made to the program here. The device records all events that take place within, but I like to have my own account. It helps put things into perspective.
 
Introduced Agent: I have some initial ideas, weather pattern changes and technological breakdowns. Heremus wants to introduce aggressive fauna and constructed foes, as if this were some kind of gladiatorial simulation. I'm hesitant, these are drones, not warriors.
 
Variables: The involvement of the units will vary, but identifying patterns in their behavior will be invaluable in understanding their development.
 
Results: I don’t really need to explain just how complex this can be, and how much even a little bit of understanding can help in this study.
 
Testing will begin as soon as I transfer the drones' base code into the simulation. Well, I suppose that those first moments will be a test, the initial group will be the first beings, besides myself of course, to set foot in this faux world. How they react will certainly determine their behaviors and patterns to come.
//end…
 
 

//personalMessage_76 //received -323.4 //sender ID 012
Soanume,
 
Greetings my friend, I’ve arranged the help of some my own constructs to keep Rei Iden up and running. Perhaps then you will get some rest, yes?
 
Gravity (dark-star)
 
Silvan Haven (silvbro)
 
Don’t lose yourself in this world, I’d miss you terribly.
 
-Heremus
//end…
 
 
 
//personalLog_33212 //recorded -299.2
I believe Soanume has taken quite well to this project of her’s. It was rather cleverly designed, we have been able to implement and change parameters there as we see fit, carefully recording reactions and results. The current set is as follows:
 
-All BZPower rules apply.
-This is a computer program, physics can act in strange and unexpected ways, none of which qualify as a deus ex machina.
-Characters are the sole property of their player, irreparable damage may not be caused without their permission.
-Characters can die, in order to preserve the façade of realism, those who sustain injuries which would render them inoperable will be removed from the program.
 
We have stumbled on one of the biggest revelations of our time, though if we do not proceed carefully, it could all be wiped out in an instant. Many of my people are scared enough at the thought of our planet breaking apart, and having another lesser race develop before us could push some of us over the edge. They are our children, though, our legacy to be among the stars.
 
I rather like the poetry in that.
//end…

Reposted with suggested modification.

[Ghidora131]

So I'm thinking of redo-ing Frontier to be an Okoto RPG, as the previous version doesn't have too good of a foundation.

 

Thoughts?

[Eyru]

So I'm thinking of redo-ing Frontier to be an Okoto RPG, as the previous version doesn't have too good of a foundation.

 

Thoughts?

 

I say go for it!

[Krayzikk]

So I'm thinking of redo-ing Frontier to be an Okoto RPG, as the previous version doesn't have too good of a foundation.

 

Thoughts?

 

Frankly, I'm leery of anything done in Okoto due to how little lore there is to work with. Feels too much like an excuse to fabricate a universe from (mostly) whole-cloth.

 

But Frontier might benefit from a relatively blank slate.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

I'm currently reworking my Bara Magna RPG draft (previously dubbed 'Certavus Rising'). I figured that it would be best to have it take place after the death of Certavus Magnus to make the plot not as linear.
 
I study history, and have especially looked into Late Antiquity, Medieval, and Early Modern history. Religion played a large role in those days, though often corrupted from the original scripture (both sides of the Christian Mediterranean are guilty of this). I bring this up because I wanted to have some level of religious and spiritual awareness in the medievalist RPG, and I wanted to know if this was both allowed, and wise. I see religion and personal beliefs to be the foundation of someone's identity: their morality, cultural customs, and the standard to which all things are held to. It wouldn't be the main focus of the RPG or anything, but it would be visibly noticeable, effect characters personally and their relationship with and view of others.
 
Here is a list I have worked out:

 

 

More

Deities:

Grunchar (Gruncahrism, Gruncharists)– One creator god, name means Potter. Gruncharism is the dominant faith of the land and all others (except Tanger for the Bone Hunters) are in the minority. Prophesies the coming a Christ-like figure in the far future and as such is a sort of pre-Christ Christianity. Is practiced a little differently depending on location. Vorox call Grunchar by the name Tsui Difalkote, or Great Potter; and Gruncharist Skrall dub him ‘The Great Smith’. Silver spirit fluids, called Mongosuns serve Grunchar and will always deter worship away from themselves. Matoran call Mongosun collectives ‘energized protodermis’.

Khargnu (Khargnism, Khargnites) – The black god that lives beneath the land. Traditionally depicted as a giant pitch black ogre/giant that dwells beneath the planet’s crust but is actually a grouping of remaining antidermis that survived the Nealite Crusades back in ancient times. Is evil and does all it can to defy Grunchar and purposefully corrupts all it can, include those that worship it. Is mostly worshiped by Jirappa (Tuma's race, Giants) and most Skrall. Matoran call this natural Antidermis (as opposed to the artificial antidermis that Makuta are made out of).

Celestial Monsters – Lovecraftian abominations that are infused with some parts of the very nature of the universe. They were created at the beginning of the physical realm during the wars between the masses of antidermis and protodermis. They are in-tune with both the physical and the spiritual and can interact with both with ease. Some are either actively with Grunchar and some are actively against him, but most are neutral in the cosmic conflicts and stay to themselves, generally not giving a crud about other things and do as they please. Most on Spherus Magna have been slain by the titanic wars against them by the Great Beings (Warhammer-levels of mass death), however some have survived, like Annona and Shingthi. Cults (depending on the Celestial Monster) doing as the abominations please exist in secret. The Matoran have an artificial Celestial Monster as their precursor god, Tren Krom.

Tanger (Tangerism, Tangerites) – The sky god (the sky is the deity itself). Blue is his color and he feeds off of the life force given off of living beings, which is concentrated at it’s maximum as smoke. Followers intentionally burn things to feed Tanger in order to gain blessings, and Tanger uses the fule to provide security and fend of ursurping gods that take the form of the different colors of the sky (dawn and dusk). Stars are the greatest warriors that are with Tanger. The more fresh the organic material is the more concentrated life force is given out, meaning that body parts and living sacrifices are collected and sacrificed. The most devout will be missing ear(s), nose (or parts of it), finger(s) and other things, and their sacrifice is believed to be rmembered by Tanger and good things will come. Bone chars will be sewn onto clothing and worn as jewelry, as well as decorate armor. Hence, the followers are called Ostonigosa, Bone Hunters, and Gatherers. Alternative name for Tanger is U’tah Idkah (Smoke Eater)

Great Beings (gods of logic/magic) – Powerful immortal mask-wearers that were changed by the will of Grunchar (not well known fact) and changed Spherus Magna. They are physically gone but people believe them to have transcended and left this realm while still being nearby, and thus available for prayer. A favorite amongst heathen scientists.

Zadisha Nahita(s) (Element Lords, gods of war) – Elemental tyrants that caused the Core War and ended up being judged by Grunchar in the form of the Shattering (punishment extended to the planet’s populace for willingly fighting for the warmongers and causing the destruction and death). Though currently trapped by natural protodermis, some cults have risen to worship of these super powered kings as elemental war gods and sacrifice things to gain their favor in battle. A favorite among heathen military men. Zadishah Nahitoi (plural) are the following: Svartureinn (Rock), Tyran'fotius or simply Fotius (Fire), Isskun (Ice), Jarraradat (Sand), Shigi (Water), Dijiang (Earth), Ezin Qaanyu (Wind), and Qatah Qaani (Lightning).

North Demons – Battera. People do not know of their true nature and see them as phantoms of death. Some cults have risen in the far northern lands and have recognized that they spare the weaponless, so such heathens are very pacifist. An extremely small minority in Neala.

Greani Warband (Greani Cultists) – Greani Ateir (The Unearthly Green-One) is the greatest hero of the Skrall, a holy warrior who slew Giants and monsters, battled against Kargnu collectives, and founded both Atero and Neala as a whole after his Great Western March. People who are part of this cult or tradition believe that there is a special place in Heaven made especially for the greatest of Skrall warriors by Grunchar himself. Fighting in gallantry against evil and doing good deeds through arms of war will bring one closer to being chosen to begin the trials toward Greani (which includes fighting astral monsters and performing impossible feats), the highest honor save meeting Grunchar himself. That is, unless you have crossed the line of heresy and began to worship Greani rather than respect him. This line is tricky and heavy discussion about it can upset dedicated Skrall who follow this path, even the usage of the word ‘cult’ might be uncomfortable. In short, it’s a Skrall-version of Valhalla and is a warrior belief for good Skrall, though non-Skrall can follow this belief as well.

Soothsayers – Not a real belief, but these homeless mad men are known to speak in riddles and claim to prophesy. Some have started spouting about a ‘Ruby-eyed Titan of Steel that will deliver a new Savior of Neala in a Helm of Gold’. Some of the nonsense they yell forth may actually be real or come to pass.

Edited January 25, 2016 by Sir Iaredios

[FallenAtlas]

One word on religion on a children's website:

 

Don't.

 

Especially if it is based off RL religions.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

One word on religion on a children's website:

 

Don't.

 

Especially if it is based off RL religions.

Thank you for the input, Atlas. I'll leave the artificial religions and beliefs for my media project then. Gruncharism would be closest one to a RL religion, but I purposefully leave it vague after the brief description. The one I actually had the most fun devising was Tanger, which is loosely based off of Tengrism but has some key differences, specifically it's usage of fire and smoke. I loved trying to come up with a reason for a name like 'Bone Hunter', or 'Gatherer'.

Edited January 25, 2016 by Sir Iaredios

[FallenAtlas]

 

 

One word on religion on a children's website:

 

Don't.

 

Especially if it is based off RL religions.

Thank you for the input, Atlas. I'll leave the artificial religions and beliefs for my media project then. Gruncharism would be closest one to a RL religion, but I purposefully leave it vague after the brief description. The one I actually had the most fun devising was Tanger, which is loosely based off of Tengrism but has some key differences, specifically it's usage of fire and smoke. I loved trying to come up with a reason for a name like 'Bone Hunter', or 'Gatherer'.

I know religion is a big part of human history, and creating a fake religion for a fictional story is a great project(I've dabbled in before.), but if the instant anybody can draw any similarities between it and a RL religion, it is only going to cause problems.

 

Problems, unfortunately, that cannot be handled civilly 99% of the time. I like the idea, I do. I just want to save you from a flame war, accusations, and unnecessary drama from other members, the mods, and even yourself if it gets out of hand.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

 

 

One word on religion on a children's website:

 

Don't.

 

Especially if it is based off RL religions.

Thank you for the input, Atlas. I'll leave the artificial religions and beliefs for my media project then. Gruncharism would be closest one to a RL religion, but I purposefully leave it vague after the brief description. The one I actually had the most fun devising was Tanger, which is loosely based off of Tengrism but has some key differences, specifically it's usage of fire and smoke. I loved trying to come up with a reason for a name like 'Bone Hunter', or 'Gatherer'.

I know religion is a big part of human history, and creating a fake religion for a fictional story is a great project(I've dabbled in before.), but if the instant anybody can draw any similarities between it and a RL religion, it is only going to cause problems.

 

Problems, unfortunately, that cannot be handled civilly 99% of the time. I like the idea, I do. I just want to save you from a flame war, accusations, and unnecessary drama from other members, the mods, and even yourself if it gets out of hand.

 

Oh yeah, I completely understand. It's a shame I can't easily use stuff like this because people cannot separate fantasy from reality and enjoy some escapist escapades. I have fought many a flame war against ignorant haters, that is why I completely understand your input and that is why I wanted to check in with this stuff in the first place. Thank you for your time.

[Silvan Haven]

Wellllllllllll.

 

There are rules against real life religious stuff on the site, but I don't think there are rules against fictional versions that are in place for the sake of story telling.

 

It should be fine as long as you make it very clear that this is all IC and that you will crack down hard on stuff that strays beyond that.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Wellllllllllll.

 

There are rules against real life religious stuff on the site, but I don't think there are rules against fictional versions that are in place for the sake of story telling.

 

It should be fine as long as you make it very clear that this is all IC and that you will crack down hard on stuff that strays beyond that.

Much of it affects the culture of a race/species/ethnicity, but people would be able specify what they want their character to affiliate with themselves within reason. If people begin to talk about RL religions, I would politely but demanding-ly ask them to quickly wrap themselves up or take it to PM. In a pre-modern complex society there will have to be some amount of deep religious reasoning that spans throughout a society (even some if specific individuals may think and feel differently), but to heed Atlas wise warning I could try to keep it to a minimum.

 

I'll keep working on this. I appreciate your input guys.