Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes
  • Participate in raffles to win LEGO prizes
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!


The Biological Chronicle: 2007

Bionicle Kalmah 2007 Flash fiction Mantax

  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 Offline TNTOS

  • Premier Member
  • Premier Members
  • Nuhvok-Kal Attacks!

  • 13-October 06
  • 3,005 posts

Posted Jun 17 2014 - 08:48 AM

Welcome to the seventh installment of my new series of Bionicle flash fics, The Biological Chronicle. If you want to read the other stories in this series, you can find links to them in my signature at the end of this post.

If you don't know what this is, allow me to quote from the first fic's introduction:

The Biological Chronicle is a series of flash fics written by me. Like my earlier Glatorian Chronicles series of short stories/short epics, each story in The Biological Chronicle is a standalone and can be read in any order you please.

What connects these story is the basic theme. I gave myself the challenge of writing ten flash fics based on the ten years of Bionicle (one for 2001, another for 2002, yet another for 2003, etc.). The result is a mixture of my interpretation of scenes from canon, scenes from canon that were mentioned but never shown, and a few scenes that were never mentioned nor shown but which I nonetheless believe could have/probably did happen at some point in canon. I tried to stick to canon as closely as possible, however, so don't expect to see any new characters or locations or anything like that that weren't in canon.

They are all quite short (the longest is a little over 700 words), but of course that is to be expected from flash fiction. Fair warning: I've had little practice with flash fiction, so if these aren't as good as my usual work, it's because I'm not used to forcing myself to keep the word count under 800 words (although you are of course still free to criticize them however you usually criticize stories).

With that out of the way, enjoy:


Normally, Kalmah avoided getting into direct confrontations with his fellow Barraki. It was not that he was a peace-lover or that he was afraid of any of them. He simply knew the value of having allies on the ocean floor and so saw no reason to risk his good relations with the rest of them.

But today, as Kalmah stood among the broken shells and half-eaten corpses of his brood of sea squid, his tentacle wrapped tightly around Mantax's throat, he care little about maintaining good relations with anyone. He saw blood and, though he did not intend to kill Mantax, he was not going to let his fellow warlord get off that easily.

“Tell me, Mantax,” said Kalmah, not even bothering to hide his anger. “What made you think you could eat from my brood of squid? How did you think you would ever get away with it, knowing as you do how much I value these potential weapons?”

Mantax said nothing, perhaps because Kalmah's tentacle was constricted around his throat. He did, however, slash at Kalmah's tentacle, cutting it with his pincer and making the red Barraki let go with a low curse. Unlike the other warlords, Kalmah's tentacle was a part of him and so harming it harmed him.

Rubbing his neck, Mantax said, “I was hungry and I didn't feel like waiting for the next safe hour to go hunting. Besides, you never seem to have trouble breeding them again anyway, so what's he big deal?”

Kalmah pointed at the egg shells floating in the water around them. “It's not nearly as easy as it looks, Mantax. It took me months to breed this many and now it will take me many more just to get the numbers back up to their original levels. Do you know how difficult it is to get these naturally aggressive creatures to even tolerate each other's presences, much less mate?”

Mantax folded his arms. “And? What do I care? I got my lunch. I'm satisfied.”

“Fool,” said Kalmah. “I'm planning to weaponize these squids. For all of us.”

Mantax didn't look convinced. “All of us? Or just you?”

“I have given Pridak my word that all of us will have a chance at using them,” said Kalmah. “That's why I am spending most of my time designing the launchers that will fire them, or here making sure that certain hungry warlords aren't devouring half the ammunition.”

Mantax shrugged. “Whatever. I have better things to do than stand around listening to your abuse.”

Mantax tried to swim around Kalmah, but the red Barraki blocked his way.

“One last thing,” said Kalmah, his tone as low as a doom viper's hiss. “If you step foot in here again without my permission, I'll do more than just make your neck sore.”

Mantax didn't back down. “I would like to see you try.”

Kalmah and Mantax glared at each other for several seconds before Mantax broke the psuedo-staring contest and swam over Kalmah's head out of the cave. Kalmah, meanwhile, returned his attention to the remaining sea squid, already dreading what the next several months of breeding would require of him. It was not a happy thought.


Comments, criticism, questions, etc. are all welcome :) .


Edited by TNTOS, Jul 08 2014 - 07:56 AM.

  • 1

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

A Writerly Blog
The Tasty Library of Sugary Goodness
(My Little BIONICLE: Friendship is Explosive Completed 01/05/14)
{The Shika Trilogy Omnibus Completed 03/31/14) (Review Topic)
(In the End Completed 09/01/14) (Review Topic)
The Biological Chronicle: (2001) (2002) (2003) (2004) (2005) (2006) (2007) (2008) (2009) (2010)

#2 Offline WhereFMF

  • Members
  • Turaga

  • 26-March 14
  • 71 posts

Posted Jun 17 2014 - 10:25 AM

I have previously declared myself to be a lover of 2006. My attitude towards 2007 is somewhat less passionate.


Indeed, it was a lot like 2006. It had the darkness of the Barraki in the first half of the year, and the light of the Mahri in the second. But it just didn't have...the edginess, the personality of 2006 that made me love it. It felt like a cheap clone to sell more sets.


But you redeem that in this beautifully characterized clash between the Barraki. And I thank you for that.

  • 1

#3 Offline Iron_Man5

  • Members
  • Emerging Fluidic Master

  • 26-February 14
  • 1,214 posts

Posted Jun 21 2014 - 02:03 PM

I think Mantax shouldn't have been let off so easily... Kalmah was infamous for his ruthlessness and his unfeeling, yes Mantax is a equally powerful Barraki, but all the same, I'm feeling that getting a sore neck out of the deal isn't nearly enough for him to reconsider doing it again.  :shrugs:


But all in all it was quite good. :)

  • 0

"I am Iron Man"

:i:  :a: :m:  :i: :r: :m_o: :n:  :m: :a: :n:



signature art by Tattorak

#4 Offline Erasmus Graves

Erasmus Graves
  • Members
  • Steely Visionary

  • 15-October 15
  • 359 posts

Posted Nov 14 2015 - 01:43 AM

I like this. It's a good short story, with a natural in-universe feel to it, but a little real-life humour as well. I loved 2007, and you brought out the best in it.

  • 0

"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users