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Mutant Tahnok


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#1 Offline Willess12

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Posted Jul 22 2014 - 08:54 PM

This short story, Mutant Tahnok or Mutahnok, is a preview of a work-in-progress epic I am writing, Bionicle: the Legacy Hero.
 

Mutant Tahnok

 
 
     What would happen if a Bohrok fell into energized protodermis?[/size]
 
 [/size]
 
     Hundreds of Tahnok had been launched into the air by Nuhvok-Kal's gravity power, and orbited the planet of Aqua Magna.  Having been caught in the gravity of the falling moons of Bara Magna, they fell.  They landed on the newly reformed planet of Spherus Magna.[/size]
 
     Energized Protodermis.  The substance was even more common on Spherus Magna than it had been in the Matoran universe.  The Onu-Matoran standing in front of a pool of the strange liquid could remember when he used to mine Protodermis on the island of Mata Nui.[/size]
 
     Suddenly, there were five shadows over the pool.  The Onu-Matoran looked up in time to see five red spheres falling toward the pool.  He had time to realize they looked like the Tahnok from the island of Mata Nui.  He jumped back as they landed in the pool.  He waited a few tense moments.  Then five shapes emerged from the pool.  [/size]
     They were worse than Tahnok.  They had claws, and they breathed fire.  They could also shoot lightning bolts, and the Matoran wondered if perhaps this was somehow connected to Tahnok-Kal, the Bohrok-Kal of electricity.  [/size]
 
    The monsters began attacking him.  The Onu-Matoran ran, wondering why they were suddenly so hostile.  He could use a Toa right now, but there were no Toa nearby.  So he headed to the temporary shelter he had constructed, and grabbed his Disk launcher.  It already had a disk in it.  Before he could see what the disk was, one mutant Tahnok burned down his shelter and came at him.  Instinctively, he fired the disk at it.[/size]
 
     The disk struck at the same time the Onu-Matoran remembered what kind of disk it was.  Oh no...[/size]
 
    The Tahnok began to change, under the effects of the reconstitute at random disk.  To the Onu-Matoran's suprise, it mutated into a robotic vehicle.  He leapt into it, and began driving it.  He rammed one mutant Tahnok, taking it down, but another damaged part of his vehicle.  He decided it was a good time to flee.  Fortunately, the vehicle was faster than the Bohrok.  Vehicle made of Bohrok... The Boxors! He still had one.  It was in another temporary shelter nearby.  He drove there, outdistancing the Bohrok.  He hopped from his Tahnok vehicle into the Boxor.  Then he found the mutant Tahnok (Mutahnok?) again.  They had the nerve to attack a group of Le-Matoran.  An Onu-Matoran using a Boxor to defend Le-Matoran from Bohrok... that brought back memories.  He attacked the Mutahnok.  He struck one, then another.  This was easy.  Then the third hit his vehicle. with a blast of electricity.  The Onu-Matoran was hurt, but the Boxor was not too badly damaged.  He kept fighting, even as the Le-Matoran fled.  He could stop them.  He would...[/size]
 
    Peices.  That's all that was left.  The group of Le-Matoran scanned the rubble, but found no sign of the Onu-Matoran.  Had he survived, or had he been incinerated by the Tahnok, or worse, eaten by a desert predator?[/size]
 
 
 
     one week later....[/size]
 
     One of the Le-Matoran saved by the Onu-Matoran was at the wreckage site of the Mutahnok when he heard footsteps.  He looked up to see the Onu-Matoran limping toward him.  His arm was hanging uselesly at his side, and he could hardly walk, but he was alive.  The two Matoran celebrated the defeat of the Mutahnok.  Neither of them could guess that there were thousands more Tahnok already on the planet, drawing together into an army...[/size]
 
 


Here's the story:

Bionicle the Legacy Hero

Edited by Willess12, Sep 14 2014 - 09:05 PM.

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On 9/29/2014, Greg Farshtey said:

 

"Just wanted to say a quick something --

 

A lot of you guys are BIONICLE fans, many from way back. It's no secret that you are some of the smartest, most loyal, and most dedicated fans out there. You, and you alone, have carried the torch for the line over the last four years. Hopefully, you will feel rewarded for your efforts by 2015 BIONICLE.

 

Regardless, I wanted to take this opportunity to say that I am really proud to be associated with you, and you should be really proud of yourselves"

 

Ordinarily, I don't do quotes, but this is special.

Fire Ice Water Stone Earth Air... I mean Jungle.
 
Bionicle: The Legacy Hero An attempt to put some magic back into Bionicle.


#2 Offline Pohatu: Master of Stone

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Posted Jul 28 2014 - 09:17 PM

Good, but a bit fast-paced. It doesn't seem to draw the reader in, and if it is a series of stories, then it belongs in epics.


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#3 Offline Willess12

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Posted Jul 29 2014 - 11:30 AM

            I wouldn't think it belongs in epics, since this is not part of the epic, but a sneak preview short story completely separate from the epic.  Someone can correct me if I'm wrong about that. 

            Part of the reason the story is so fast-paced is because I initially typed it up using books on Minecraft.  Also, my writing style used to be very fast-paced back then. 

            I didn't even have an epic in mind when I wrote this, incidentally.  It was only after I started the epic I realized this made a good sneak preview.


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On 9/29/2014, Greg Farshtey said:

 

"Just wanted to say a quick something --

 

A lot of you guys are BIONICLE fans, many from way back. It's no secret that you are some of the smartest, most loyal, and most dedicated fans out there. You, and you alone, have carried the torch for the line over the last four years. Hopefully, you will feel rewarded for your efforts by 2015 BIONICLE.

 

Regardless, I wanted to take this opportunity to say that I am really proud to be associated with you, and you should be really proud of yourselves"

 

Ordinarily, I don't do quotes, but this is special.

Fire Ice Water Stone Earth Air... I mean Jungle.
 
Bionicle: The Legacy Hero An attempt to put some magic back into Bionicle.





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