Well, just a warning, the parody portion doesn't really begin until the third chapter, but these chapters are pretty short. The comedy (if it is funny enough to be called that) is usually pretty subtle, too, up until the fifth chapter.
And another thing: if you feel upset about the way certain character is being portrayed (and by "certain character" I mean Lewa), just keep reading. It'll all be explained in the end. If confused about a certain cameo in the story, just keep reading. All will come together. It may not come together in the smoothest fashion, but it will still come together.
With all that said and done, enjoy! If not, shun me violently! I don't care! Give criticism! It doesn't necessarily have to be constructive, although I would love it if it were!
Flame and Frost
Tahu suddenly found himself in a grey, heavily-cratered area. He gave a start, then heard a voice behind him.
“And who are you?”
Tahu whirled around, unsheathing his Fire Sword. “The question is, my friend,” said Tahu severely, his eyes meeting his white-armored adversary, “who are you?”
“The name’s Preston Stormer,” he replied. “And I heard a distress call in this region, meaning you’re probably the villain.”
“I’m called a lot of things,” replied Tahu, “and ‘villain’ isn’t one of them.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Stormer removed handcuffs from out of nowhere.
“You don’t believe me?” demanded Tahu.
“Oh, sure, I believe you,” said Stormer, advancing.
Tahu brandished his Fire Sword and charged at Stormer. Seeing his opponent’s aggressive action, Stormer drew his Multifunctional Ice Weapon, formed an ice blade with it, and parried Tahu’s blow. Tahu then channeled his elemental powers through the blade and aimed it at Stormer. The hero blocked the fire, only for his ice blade to be shattered. Taking his advantage, Tahu leapt onto Stormer, lifting his sword and letting it fall, only to be parried again by Stormer.
Stormer fell back against the force of the blow, and Tahu fell with him. Tahu quickly got up, preparing to strike, but then he found his enemy on the floor, motionless.
“What happened to him?” thought Tahu aloud.
“His Hero Core got unplugged,” came a bitter answer. Before him was a red hero carrying a Dual Fire Shooter.
“Who are you?” asked Tahu.
“I’ll tell you this much: the name’s William Furno. And you just have downed my leader. You’re going down.”
The hero called Furno charged at Tahu, but a blur of white interjected and Furno fell backwards.
Logic versus Stupidity
Before Tahu was the Toa of Ice, Kopaka.
“I’ll take it from here, brother,” came the cold voice of the Toa.
“I could handle him, Kopaka,” protested Tahu, advancing. Kopaka held up his Ice Sword to stop Tahu.
“I don’t doubt that,” said Kopaka. “What I doubt is whether or not I’ll have any fun.
Tahu stared at him blankly.
“You do know that I’m right behind you, right?” question Furno.
With another flash of white and a quick, crackling noise, Furno was on the floor with his arm frozen to the ground.
“You should learn to shut up,” Kopaka remarked.
Furno looked at Kopaka, stunned.
“I tried to access my Kakama to intervene a while ago,” said the Toa of Ice, now directing his attention towards Tahu. “It didn’t work. That tells me we aren’t anywhere near Mata Nui.”
“Fair enough,” said Tahu.
“We should go find the others.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Water and Friendship
“Hello, animal-friends, where’s the distress signal coming from?” said Breez cheerfully, bending down to two little green lizards.
The lizards directed their heads eastward.
Out that way emerged a blue figure carrying…
“Are those hooks?” questioned Breez.
Gali saw a green figure in the distance.
“Green most definitely does not fit her figure,” Gali murmured under her breath.
Breez and Gali met briefly.
“I have heard a distress call in this area,” said Breez. “I also have felt a disturbance in the nature. I have a feeling that you are the culprit.”
“Well, before we get to that, could I just mention that green is not your color?” replied Gali.
Breez did not know what happened. She just saw red, and before she knew it, she was pinning Gali on the stony floor of the Siri moon. She could not control her arms, and she threw them down and sliced Gali up with her Energized Dual Energized Boomerangs. When she could regain her composure, she stopped and got up, startled about her reaction.
“Sorry,” she said politely, helping Gali up.
Gali saw that Breez was an enemy. She focused upon increasing the moisture in the stone.
“Well, you seem helpless and friendly enough,” said Breez. “I’m very sorry. I don’t know what happened. I assure you, I am usually very much disciplined with my anger.
“Oh, well, sure; these things happen,” said Gali, trying to keep her voice steady.
“Hey, wait, am I sinking?” questioned Breez, feeling odd.
She looked down. She was sinking; the stone below her was now wet and bog-like. She started sinking faster and faster. She hooked her boomerang onto the stone and pulled herself out, throwing her legs out, hitting Gali in the head, and knocking off her mask. Gali was on the ground and couldn’t get up. Breez picked up the mask and opened up communications with Bulk.
“Hey, Bulk, I think I found the people who were in the distress call.”
“Yeah, they wear these oddly-shaped helmets that apparently gives them power.”
“Breez, that’s ridiculous. Everyone knows that Quaza can’t be in a helmet.”
“I don’t think—”, but with that Bulk broke off his communications with Breez.
Bulk Smash! It’s Cratering Time!
Onua looked over his shoulder.
“Bulk smash!” came the cry from behind him as a grey figure (supposedly named Bulk) leapt at him.
Onua accessed his Pakari and deflected the attack. Bulk fell a few feet away.
“Well then, Mr. Bulk,” said Onua, “I guess it’s cratering time.”
Onua ran to his opponent and smashed him into the ground. Bulk quickly jumped up and threw his fist at the Toa of Earth. Onua dodged the blow and threw several small bolders at the grey hero. Every one of them hit Bulk, driving him to the floor. Onua looked at him.
“I think he’s—”
Just before Onua could finish, Bulk got up and pounced at him. Thinking quickly, Onua formed several large pipes out of earth and threw them on top of Bulk. Bulk saw a little moon-bunny in the way. He threw the little rabbit out of the way, and then got up and stood completely still to be met with fifty tons of steel and earth.
“Oh no!” said Bulk. “I’ve been trapped! I guess I’ll just wait for three of my teammates to sacrifice their life energy for me so that I can have a force field that was meant to be used in the worst case scenario, but due to an excess level of rookie-ish moves on my part, will have to be used when there is an experienced member of the best of the best and a newcomer who seems to always win in the midst of things against one low-threat enemy.”
“Okay then,” said Onua. “Have fun. I’ll be going over and saving Lewa now.
Spidersurge vs Deadlewa
Lewa was strolling along, wondering exactly where he was and what had happened. He stopped when he heard a cough behind him.
“Hey,” said Surge, “how is someone know whether or not you’re smiling with a mask like that?”
“That’s easy,” said Lewa. “Someone doesn’t need to know whether or not I’m smiling. I’m a freaking Bionicle. Oops, just broke the fourth wall.”
“I’m not going to even pretend that I know what that means,” said Surge.
“Anyhow, I guess we’re supposed to fight.”
“Because the author wants us to and we’d probably be sitting in beach chairs by the shore sipping smoothies and talking about the weather without his influence.”
“Oops. Just broke the fourth wall again. Let’s just fight.”
Surge ran at Lewa and tried to shock him with his lightning. Lewa instead dodged the blow and blew a gust of wind at him to throw him off balance. This worked better than he had anticipated; Surge accidentally zapped himself as a result from this ploy and was soon on the floor dancing.
“I can hear dance music in the background—I guess it’s the music that the author was playing when he was writing this. Oops, I broke the fourth wall again.”
Surge was left there, at this point unconscious, and Lewa wandered off.
“What’s this?” he asked. “It looks like a spike-monster is trying to attack Lewa, conqueror of blue-shock lightning people.”
On the floor below Lewa was a Brain crawling towards him.
“Oh, they quick-come! There are a big-many now.”
Brains were now surrounding him, and one managed to jump on his head.
“Oh, no, what have you done to me, author? Or should I blame Greg Farshtey for creating this trend?”
It was not long before Lewa was taken over.
Stringer's Rocking Out
Stringer was sitting down, his eyes closed, and listening to music. Pohatu, Toa of Stone, came along and lightly tapped Stringer on the shoulder.
“Howdy, partner, do you by any chance know where I am?” he asked friendlily. “I was in the desert taking a siesta, and when I woke up, I was here.”
“Oh, you’re on Siri, second moon of this one planet that is next to it,” answered Stringer.
“Oh, thanks,” said Pohatu. “I don’t really know what’s happening. I guess I should stay here until I can regroup with my team.”
“Well, that’s just fine,” replied Stringer. “Just come sit right down next to me and we can listen to some tunes.”
When Tahu and Kopaka met up with Gali, they found that she was in a terrible mood.
“What’s wrong?” ask Tahu
“This weird green life form broke the tip off of my hook,” Gali replied.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m not,” said Kopaka.
“Well, sorry or not, she’s going to pay.”
“Be my guest,” said Tahu.
Water burst out of the cratered moon and created a giant wave. Within seconds Gali was lost beyond the horizon, riding on the rapids.
“She’s angry,” remarked the Toa of Fire.
A little while later, with a flash of green and blue, Breez was forced on the rocky ground, Gali slashing her with her hooks. Breez forced her off, threw the Toa of Water on the ground, and kept her there. Gali, however, opened the floodgates of the earth and barraged Breez with gallons upon gallons of water.
“Well, isn’t that a beauty?” Tahu commented.
“Let’s get this over with,” said Kopaka.
He touched the water with his Ice Sword and it froze instantly, trapping Breez inside of it.
“I could have done it,” remarked Gali.
“Not quick enough,” replied Kopaka.
A Rather Strange Appearance
Onua had rescued Lewa yet again. Arm over neck, Onua led the Toa of Air out of the Brain-infested area of Siri. Lewa groaned.
“Onua?” he inquired weakly.
“Yes?” the Toa of Earth answered.
“I don’t remember a whole lot.”
“Because, well, I just remember being in a dark-cave, and then everything being white. I don’t remember anything else.”
“Maybe that’s because of me,” came an interjection from behind them.
The two whirled around to find a figure in a red and black costume armed with several weapons.
“Who are you?” they asked simultaneously.
“The name’s Wade, but folks around pretty much everywhere call me Deadpool,” came the answer. “I think I may have by the slightest, itsy-bitsy chance accidentally possessed your green friend.”
“Um… okay,” replied Onua. He then turned and whispered to Lewa, “Just ignore him and walk casually but rather quickly away.”
And with that they left.
“Hey, what’s that?” asked Tahu. Kopaka and Gali directed their gaze in the direction that he was referring to.
Not too far away from them was a figure towering quite a few feet above the two. His head was quite disproportionate in regards to his body and he was clad in a blue cape with an equally disproportionate black collar.
“Who in Mata Nui’s name are you?” inquired Gali. “And why is your head so big?”
“My name is Uatu the Watcher,” replied the large figure, ignoring the last question. “Something indeed grave has happened here. You have somehow been teleported to another universe, and that section of the universe has been temporarily copied into a pocket dimension. I must find the doer of this wrong and put things—”
Uatu was cut as an eruption of psychotic laughter came from not so far away.
“I should have known,” he said in an amused yet grave fashion. Before Tahu, Kopaka, and Gali could say anything, Uatu was gone.
“Hello, Wilson,” said Uatu.
Deadpool whirled around and drew his katana.
“Oh, hey, proportionally disturbing big dude! What’s up?” said Deadpool friendlily, putting his katana away.
“I have sent those poor life forms back to their homes, also wiping their memories of anything that ever happened here. Now my question is: what did you do?”
“Um… well, I got in a rocket ship, hit light speed, and ended up in a different universe. I guess those weird robot dudes got tied in somehow. When I landed, I hit the green guy and somehow got fused with him. At that point I had several revelations of how we’re tied into a larger universe where people write about us. When I got attacked by those weird brainy things, I got my body back.”
“Well then,” said Uatu, “you’re going to have to get a timeout for interfering with universes. Afterwards I’m going to wipe your memory, but not before making you wish that you had never been here.”