TheMegazordman1 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 (edited) Hello this is the Review topic for my Epic , The Return Of The Toa. This Story is about 3 matoren that are pushed in to a adventure when the Makuta Returns to plague the world again but this time with 12 new allies . number of parts so far 2 Characters Ry- A Po-Matoren with a love for adventure and building things he has a great interest in the legends of the toa told by the turaga and wishes that he could some day be one if they really ever existed. Return of the Toa mocs by The MegazordMan, on Flickr Asa- A Ga-Matoren who is Ry`s best friend and room mate since their time in school they both work at Kardi labs her job being a tour guide to field trips of young matoren and Igori . She does not believe in the legends of the Toa and is very protective of Ry. Return of the Toa mocs by The MegazordMan, on Flickr Tor- A Ta-Matoren that Works as a security guard at Kardi Labs and a crack shot with his plasma pistol . He has been trained by the New Metru Nui task force a team of highly trained professional warriors and guards . Return of the Toa mocs by The MegazordMan, on Flickr Idure-A fellow scientist to Ry at Kardi labs. He discovered a strange green glowing stone and found that it housed great energy and in his quest to use this energy he lost his mind to the power and became The makuta known a Iduran . Return of the Toa mocs by The MegazordMan, on Flickr Makuta Iduran - The Mutated form of Idure he has powers not seen in thousands of years and due to damage done to him by Tor he has a damaged kanohi revealing a horribly mutated face beneath it . This post will be updated as the series go`s on including new characters and new episodes . So Feel free to tell me what you think and don`t hold back . I can take it . Edited July 29, 2014 by TheMegazordman1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordofBionicles Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I think it's a nice story, I´m sure you'll reveal more of what happened in the last act in future chapters so there is still much to discover, I do recommend you to develop a little more your character Idure, you should show a bit more of his motivation towards what he has decided to do so that we can understand him better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMegazordman1 Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 I think it's a nice story, I´m sure you'll reveal more of what happened in the last act in future chapters so there is still much to discover, I do recommend you to develop a little more your character Idure, you should show a bit more of his motivation towards what he has decided to do so that we can understand him better.I will most certainly do so mostly in flash backs but also with conversations between him and other characters . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMegazordman1 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 new scenes up now . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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