Posted Sep 02 2012 - 09:33 PM
You're too kind, Maganar. I'm happy that you consider my first story to be of such high quality. Indeed, though I think I've developed my writing skills, looking back I find I like some things about my older stories better. Just something lively and wondrous about them. But I hope you enjoy my later stories just as much.Now, I'd like to review your review a little. :PThough my epics mostly focus on Toa, they do feature the characters as Matoran, and I had fun writing about their travels. Yeah, it's sort of like MNOG, and they have to watch out for mundane things like Rahi, because as Matoran they can't just blow hostile beasts away. Now, Teskor never really tried to make a good impression on the Matoran -- after all, he took this rather unsettling shape and made a point of showing how small they were to him -- and I'm not sure if creepy was exactly what I was going for, but close. Condescending, arrogant, unsettling... sure, creepy too, that works.Thanks for looking at my custom models, I'm glad you like them. I am actually quite proud of my personal, um, policy of using all the pieces for combiners. The Matoran Nui's not the only one, I've made a whole bunch of Kaita, check them out! Though you might want to wait until you read more, so as not to spoil anything. Also, some of those Yrenta Matoran have both low quality pictures and just builds I'm not fond of. I think sometime I will rebuild them and take better pictures, which would also entail redoing the Matoran Nui. But I'm also working on a lot of other models, for I want to eventually 'MOC' every named character I can, and some unnamed ones. I even just made models of a pair of Dark Hunters, Tehen and Boramfi, and they're one-shot characters from my latest epic! I think I will try to make sure every character from this latest story is given a form, but then I'll go back and make sure there are images of all the others. I even made a model of Gurk, but never uploaded any pictures of him before taking him apart. Oh well, I think that was before I got a decent camera anyway.Writing the details of the Ba-Koro and the Lightning village was fun. (I'm not sure why you call it the Ni-Koro, though, when I go out of my way to only stick to canon prefixes. ) I wasn't sure if it would make more sense for Ba-Matoran to live in high or low places at the time, and now I know that there's officially no preferred environment for them. That's why I stuck in a line about how Siok doesn't know if other Matoran of Gravity live like his people do. And I'm not sure if you guessed this, but when I was planning Yrenta, the element of Psionics had not yet been revealed! That's why all the elements were represented in the region but that one. We must have learned about it when I was working on the first chapters, of course, because we soon are introduced to Varlokka. And the scene of their transformation and the dialogue you noted were definitely inspired by the formation of the Toa Metru and the snarky banter between them, and also between the Toa Mata/Nuva, when one of them might call Lewa a Toa of breezes or something. And yeah, I think if we saw more of these 'secondary' elements in the story, we'd see more logical combination techniques like Water + The Green and Plasma + Lightning.I hope their mission to question Teskor gave off the right feeling. I think it did for you, and that's good. I mean, Teskor is supposed to be their ally, but they know he's scary and unfriendly (and creepy, as you put it), and they're suspicious of him. They go prepared for a fight and get one because Teskor doesn't want to be disturbed and doesn't care if some unlucky wanderer happens to be offed by one of his Rahi and Rahkshi guardians, then Teskor intimidates them, shows how easily he could kill them, but doesn't, because even he knows it's not time for the Makuta to show their true malice (though he does have trouble waiting, as you'll see later). The Hand of Artakha guardian, I hope it's not too much have him talk in Ye Olde Butchered English. It's supposed to show how long he's been isolated down there, since before the Hand was disbanded, and I guess it worked out. And you think the Toa saw Ancient down there? Wrong! It was supposed to be Botar, who had been sent to pop in and recover the artifact for the Hand's successor organization. I don't usually use canon characters in my own works, so there's something you won't see often. It could actually be a different member of his species, but I had Botar in mind.I'm relieved you found the segment about the water-dwelling creatures acceptable. I'm kind of unsure about it myself, and the inspiration actually came from a model my brother made that he wanted me to feature. I don't have any surviving photographs of the thing he made, but it was supposed to be an aquatic being, so I sort of retconned it into being of a group of altered outcasts from Ehlek's species (I hope that's not a spoiler, but I did intend the reader to figure that out if I didn't say it outright. Don't want to read all those chapters again to find out if I did.)About Varlokka's foresight, besides Vakama having special visions, how much Matoran, Toa, and Turaga can foretell and how is sort of vague. I'll tell you, next time a new team of Toa come into being, it's not explained as much. But I did think that her foreseeing the rise of the new heroes was thematically/dramatically (whatever ) appropriate, and you know, she had befriended those six over thousands of years, and could probably get a hunch they were destined for something special by their personalities. Also, she knew she was past her prime and was likely to meet her match soon, but if she could just foresee that she would live to see those new Toa develop, she knew she might come close to death but not die before that. So maybe it didn't all come from the stars. I forgot exactly what I typed and what I had in mind.Makuta Teskor's character, I fear, wasn't as good as it could be, being a flat character that's evil and hates Toa just because all his brothers are like that. But he does mature a bit, I'd like to say, in the latest story, though he also falls out of the spotlight... I'll have to do what I can do fix that. Anyway, before you get to that or the story right before that one, you still have to read Wartime Journal of a Toa. I hope you like it. It's quite violent, and I hope you're not too attached to any of my characters! Thanks for reading and reviewing, and sorry if I ramble in this, this silly review of a review, but it's quite fun to be brought back to discuss my earlier works. Sometimes I kind of want to make annotated editions of my epics.