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The Adventures of Sumiki's Dad


Sumiki

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This... there are no words to describe it. The joy I feel while reading this. It holds such power. Such amazement. 

 

Truly, all other literary works must bow down to this. For this is the ultimate. 

 

I have used words to describe my pleasure. Now all I must do is await the next fascinating chapter of this astonishing tale of humorous delight and adventure.

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This is truly awesome, I want to see where this trio shall go next.

I also want to meet King Nerst.

Edited by Rahkshi Guurahk
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-Rahkshi Guurahk
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When I think of ways to get to the Island of Mata Nui, passing out in a Ziploc bag that shrinks you is not one of them. :P

 

But anyway, I reall enjoyed this first chapter. Sumiki's Dad seems like an interesting character, and I'm curious to see what happens to him and co. in the next chapter. Hopefully they find King Nernst, because I want to see how chicken psychology works. :P

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I'm wondering how much truth and how much fiction, exactly, this is.

 

Anyway, this is quite possibly the greatest thing since the BZPower Chronicles. That is quite an achievement, I assure you.

 

Honestly, though. I love this.

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CHAPTER TWO

the meeting of nernst

 

-----Avohkah Tamer, Valendale, and Sumiki’s Dad trudged along into the island from the beach.

-----So we’re looking for a possum named Nernst?Valendale asked.

-----“He’ll know the way out,” Sumiki’s Dad said. “Along the way, though, we must look for the chicken psychologist.”

-----Presently they saw a tree with a figure sitting in its uppermost branches. From the treetops, a rain of olives came down on unsuspecting Rahi on the forest floor.

-----The trio looked up in the tree and saw that the mysterious figure was, in fact, Takuma Nuva.

-----“That’s the chicken psychologist,” Sumiki’s Dad said.

-----That looks like the Evil Blog Master to me,” Avohkah Tamer replied.

-----HELLO,Takuma called down from his perch. “I am the CHICKEN PSYCHOLOGIST!

-----Sumiki’s Dad looked at the other two. “Told you.” He turned to the tree. “WE NEED YOUR HELP. WHERE IS KING NERNST?

-----I don't know. I'm just the chicken psychologist.

-----Avohkah Tamer rolled his eyes. “Now he's crazy.

-----He’s not crazy,Sumiki’s Dad said. “He’s hallucinating.

-----Easy for you to say,Valendale said.

-----I think I get it” Avohkah Tamer said. “He must have hit his head. There's a Ziploc on one of the lower branches.

-----Excellent deduction,Valendale said.

-----Avohkah Tamer produced a pair of binoculars. “I see...

-----The olive tree?Valendale asked.

-----It's producing jars.

-----Presently Takuma hopped down and appeared before them.

-----I put hands on people's heads and read their minds,” he said. Asking neither for permission nor payment, he slapped his hands around Avohkah Tamer’s head. “I can sense why you're here,” he said.

-----Why?

-----I sense that you want to become a Cheerios box. You won't for at least three days.

-----He then moved on from a confused Avohkah Tamer to a possibly more confused Valendale. “I realize that what you want is your own personal watermelon. You won't get it unless you wear roller skates.

-----I’ll keep that in mind,Valendale said.

-----I think he’s deranged,Sumiki’s Dad said.

-----Takuma places his hands on Sumiki’s Dad’s head. “Now it's very clear,” Takuma said. “I know EXACTLY what causes you to ... ah, malfunction.

-----What?

-----When you were a boy, you wanted to be Chef Boyardee, but were foiled in this endeavor when you were forced to drink syrup.

-----Takuma removed his hands from Sumiki’s Dad’s head. Takuma then curled up into the fetal position.

-----Valendale slapped Takuma, who tumbled backwards and hit the tree. The impact shook a jar of olives loose from one of the lower branches, which came down and knocked him in the head.

-----Whoa. What happened?” Takuma asked.

-----A handsome lampshade on my lap.

-----Takuma understood immediately.

-----King Nernst must be found,Sumiki’s Dad said.

-----Who is this Nernst guy you keep talking about?Valendale said.

-----King Nernst is the King of the Possums. In this universe, only Nernst holds the Power of Ziploc.

-----So how do we find him?

-----I don’t know.

-----Well, possums like food,Valendale said. “How about the olives?

-----Olives aren't food,” Avohkah Tamer said. “Here. I have some peanut butter.” He reached into his horse mask and produced a small can of chunky peanut butter. He opened the can and smeared some on the ground with his hands.

-----As Avohkah Tamer wiped his hands on some nearby plants, the rest of the gang arranged themselves in a semicircle around the globs of peanut butter.

-----Presently they felt a rumble, which turned into a consistent pounding, which turned into audible footfalls, clearly of gigantic proportions.

-----Trees collapsed, winged Rahi took flight, and Sumiki’s Dad grinned.

-----At that moment the olive tree collapsed, revealing King Nernst.

-----King Nernst was a gigantic possum. He was seventeen feet high and weighed six tons. His almost prehensile tail swept up the dusty peanut butter, and he flicked the gritty glob into his wide mouth.

-----Such a Brobdingnagian possum specimen frightened all who were present, save for Sumiki’s Dad. Seeing the faces of terror on all but one, King Nernst sat down in front of Sumiki’s Dad.

-----“Greetings, Eggplant Muse,” King Nernst said. “I never expected to see you here.”

-----Greetings, King Nernst,Sumiki’s Dad replied. “We wish to return to our own land. How can we do so?

-----King Nernst grumbled and licked his protruding teeth. “If you wish to return, you must fulfill my wishes for this island.”

-----Does it involve Kopaka?Valendale asked. He was the first of the rest of the group to regain his composure, and with it, his speaking voice.

-----“I would doubt it, Valendale,” King Nernst replied.

-----You know his name, not his story,” Avohkah Tamer said. Valendale then began doing a little dance.

-----King Nernst sighed. “My first request is that you teach these strange masked creatures how to square dance.”

-----Can we teach Kopaka how to square dance?Valendale asked.

-----Listen. If Tupac wants to learn how to dance, we can teach him,Sumiki’s Dad said.

-----“After that, you must give a root canal to my pet Gadunka.”

-----And then?” Takuma asked.

-----“I must consult the Royal To-Do List,” King Nernst said. “But until then, good luck.”

-----King Nernst then lumbered away, and soon thereafter he was gone.

-----Tupac’s gonna learn to dance,Sumiki’s Dad said.

Edited by Sumiki
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Woah- Is this Gadunka full sized, or tiny? Each would be equally funny, though. (BTW, does your dad know you are doing this, Sumiki?)

I don't think I'd be able to create a realistic Sumiki's Dad story without him.

 

I hope Sumuki's dad is actually the writer, and Sumiki just publishes it here for him.

I get chapter synopses, but it's up to me to flesh out the story.

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CHAPTER THREE

betty white

 

-----And so it came to pass that our rag-tag quartet, inspired by the final words of King Nernst that were ringing in their ears and ricocheting around their minds, traversed to the interior of the island and presently came upon a small village of Le-Matoran.

-----We found Le-Koro,Takuma said.

-----I’ll say,Valendale said.

-----“Alright. We have to teach these little boogers some rhythm. Who’s with me?” Sumiki’s Dad said.

-----Turaga Matau hobbled out from a hut. “Who goes there? Strange maskless Toa?”

-----“Yeah, I guess so,” Sumiki’s Dad said. “And who are you?”

-----“I am Turaga Matau of Le-Koro. What brings you curious creatures here?”

-----We're not exactly from here,Avohkah Tamer said.

-----“I can see that,” Matau replied.

-----We were told that, in order to get back to our world, we need to teach square dancing.

-----Turaga Matau looked nonplussed, as Turaga are apt to do. “I suppose you could give a few instructions, so long as the Toa are around.”

-----“You have Toes?” Sumiki’s Dad asked.

-----Kopaka and Lewa emerged from the lush woods around the village.

-----“What’s this?” Kopaka asked.

-----No one could answer him because Valendale, to use terminology not otherwise seen outside of decrepit MySpace users and fourteen-year-old anime fangirls, glomped Kopaka.

-----“Don’t answer that,” Kopaka said. “What’s this?”

-----Avohkah Tamer and Takuma pried a panting Valendale off of Kopaka. “Sorry about that,” Takuma said. “The guy’s a little crazy about ice.”

-----In the meantime, Sumiki’s Dad had leaped on top of a collapsed hut and was yelling out nonsensical instructions to a Matoran populace that moved around in lackadaisical motions.

-----“They can’t get rhythm,” Sumiki’s Dad said as the rest of the crew joined him on the impromptu stage.

-----You think the Toa would have any more luck?” Takuma asked.

-----I don't think they'll help,” Avohkah Tamer said.

-----Sumiki’s Dad held up an index finger as an audible “ding” emanated from the area approximately a foot above his head. “You see that?”

-----See what?

-----“The Toes. They’re like … Rockettes.”

-----I really don't think that—

-----“Yeah, you’re right, it’s a terrible idea.”

-----The Matoran tried to do what Sumiki’s Dad and his merry compatriots were doing, but they were clearly losing interest in the Maskless Wonders and were finding better things to do with their time.

-----At this rate, we’ll never get through this,Valendale said.

-----I see something out in the woods – what is it?” Takuma asked.

-----Sumiki’s Dad got out some binoculars and handed them to Takuma.

-----Well, it’s too big to be a Matoran and too small to be a Toa …

-----It was, in fact, Zatth – or, as everyone calls him, Pablo. Unlike the rest of the gang, most everyone found it strange to call him by his moniker.

-----Pablo was rolling around in his Ziploc bag. He got out of the bag, assisted by Valendale. Pablo thanked him for his help by slapping him right across the facial hair.

-----Ow!Valendale shouted. “Pablo! Dude, what was that for?

-----I’m not Pablo, you piece of Galidor. I’m Xaeraz.

-----You don't look like Xaeraz,” Takuma said.

-----YOU KNOW MY NAME, NOT MY STORY,Pablo yelled back as he began the saying’s associated dance.

-----Miraculously, the Matoran began clapping along to Pablo’s dance and in turn began imitating it all around the village. Toa Lewa even got in on it, although Kopaka was not as jubilant.

-----You got us out of this, but you're not Xaeraz,” Avohkah Tamer said. He got out an olive jar that he’d lifted from the tree earlier on and slapped Pablo with it.

-----Augh,Pablo said. “Dude. Sorry. That was NOT me.

-----After exchanging a few pleasantries, they looked up and saw Sumiki’s Dad behind a folding table, giving out books.

-----What are you doing?” Takuma asked.

-----“Well, I asked them who they admired …”

-----Pablo picked up a book. “These are Betty White autobiographies.

-----Sumiki’s Dad nodded. “Signed, too.

-----Takuma sighed. “One question: why.

-----“These Marionette things look up to Betty White as, like, a goddess or something. I’m just trying to make a little profit.”

-----You’re not even selling them!Pablo exclaimed.

-----“You win some, you lose some, you eat some. The Maitre d’Hôtels here don’t know the difference.”

-----Takuma groaned. “It’s Matoran.

-----“Yeah, those things.”

-----Presently King Nernst appeared in their midst, which is quite an achievement, especially for a possum of his size. Twelve Matoran were temporarily crushed.

-----“I see you have succeeded,” he said.

-----Are you going to show us to your Gadunka now? I want to get that root canal over with as soon as possible.

-----“Not yet. I’m here to make an announcement.”

-----King Nernst turned to the crowd. “I nominate Oprah Winfrey for the Queen of the Possums,” he said.

-----The crowd gasped.

-----After a half-minute of stunned silence, Kongu cleared his throat. “YOU DIDN’T NOMINATE BETTY WHITE?"

Edited by Sumiki
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Who knew the residents of Le-Koro were such huge fans of Betty White? :P 

 

Anyway, another funny chapter. I continue to enjoy reading these and I look forward to the next chapter. I can't to see how that deal with that Gadunka's root canal. :)

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  • 1 month later...

CHAPTER FOUR

the slappening


-----After a much-protracted delay due to extricating themselves from the mob of Le-Matoran that had surrounded and nearly consumed them, our little ragtag band made its way out of the area, down towards the beach.

-----So now we have to find a Gadunka,Takuma said.

-----Never fear,Sumiki’s Dad said. “I have a friend!

-----Sumiki’s Dad reached into his hip pocket and pulled out a glob of bright orange Jell-O.

-----A friend?Valendale asked. He was visibly distressed about this development.

-----His name is Mr. Styrofoam,Sumiki’s Dad replied. He reached into his other pocket and produced a large caulking gun.

-----We still don’t know where the Gadunka is,Avohkah Tamer said.

-----Sumiki’s Dad snapped his fingers. “Right on. By the way, what does a Gadunka look like?

-----The non-Sumiki’s Dad members of the group blinked in unison.

-----Presently King Nernst appeared behind them. “This is my enlarged Gadunka. Say hello, Colonel Blimpie.”

-----Colonel Blimpie scrambled up from behind the corpulent furriness of King Nernst.

-----Sumiki’s Dad was at a loss for words.

-----“Colonel Blimpie here needs a root canal. I hope you can oblige.”

-----Pablo turned his head sideways and squinted at Colonel Blimpie. “Which tooth?

-----“I don’t know. That’s for y’all to find out.”

-----King Nernst waddled away and disappeared into the woods, leaving Colonel Blimpie looking sheepishly at everyone in turn.

-----Alright, boys. We’ve got a caulking gun full of Mr. Styrofoam and Colonel Blimpie needs a—

-----“Off-ramp,” Colonel Blimpie said while staring at Takuma.

-----Don’t stare at me,Takuma said.

-----“Off-ramp?” Colonel Blimpie repeated.

-----Valendale sighed. “Oh great, another one.

-----Don’t worry, Colonel,Sumiki’s Dad said. “We’re gonna fix you up.

-----“Off-ramp.”

-----WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME LIKE THAT?

-----Help me up to this guy’s armpit.

-----“Off-ramp.”

-----STOP IT. STOP IT THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME I’LL—

-----“Off-ramp?”

-----GAH.Takuma stormed off, bested in the weirdest staring match of his life.

-----Valendale lifted Sumiki’s Dad up off the ground just enough so that he could grab a hold of Colonel Blimpie’s excessive armpit hair.

-----This guy has excessive armpit hair,Sumiki’s Dad said.

-----ARE YOU STILL STARING AT ME?Takuma yelled from a great distance away.

-----Colonel Blimpie purred. “Off-ramp.”

-----Sumiki’s Dad tangled himself in Colonel Blimpie’s armpit hair as the massive Gadunka was obsessed with showing Takuma all of the joys that come in the incessant repeating of “off-ramp.”

-----Presently, Colonel Blimpie stopped and began to run around in circles. Once tired, the Gadunka sat down with an audible thud.

-----He’s still in there,Avohkah Tamer said. “We have to get him out of there.

-----At that moment, Colonel Blimpie’s mouth was forced open, revealing for the first time the impressive maw that came with being a Gadunka.

-----Well, that’s an impressive maw,Valendale said.

-----It comes with being a Gadunka,Pablo said.

-----Forcing open this impressive maw was, of course, Sumiki’s Dad, with one hand on the roof of the Gadunka’s mouth and the other holding the caulking gun.

-----Alright, does anyone know what we’re looking for here?

-----Presently a large wave crashed on the beach, bringing with it what at first appeared to be detritus but on further inspection was revealed to be a large Ziploc bag. Xaeraz rolled out.

-----Need any help?” he asked while simultaneously slapping Pablo and Valendale.

-----Got any floss?

-----I always have floss.” He tossed a pack to Sumiki’s Dad, who loaded it into the caulking gun.

-----Fun fact: floss dissolves in Mr. Styrofoam,Sumiki’s Dad said before jamming the caulking gun against a discolored tooth and forcing its contents out in one fell swoop.

-----“Aah raaa,” muttered Colonel Blimpie.

-----Sumiki’s Dad climbed out of the Gadunka’s mouth and looked forlornly at the caulking gun. “Adios, Mr. Styrofoam,” he said. “You did your job well.

-----Colonel Blimpie looked around before finding Takuma, who was at this point still well away from the situation.

-----“I don’t think any of you quite understand the ramifications of your decision,” Colonel Blimpie said in a voice that sounded like the cross between Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones. “I can no longer pursue my dreams.”

-----How so?Pablo asked.

-----Colonel Blimpie sighed. “I couldn’t speak for the longest time, and so I had to write everything that I wanted to say. I’m what you might call an award-winning novelist.”

-----The silence was palpable until Xaeraz slapped Valendale.

-----“I see what your priorities are. In any event, these got smuggled to your world and published under the names of different authors over the years. Have any of you heard of William Shakespeare?”

-----Everyone nodded.


-----“Well, I’m not saying that I wrote all of it, but I had a significant hand in it.”

-----How old are you?Xaeraz asked.

-----“What do you mean?” Colonel Blimpie seemed offended. One does not simply ask the age of a Gadunka.

-----Shakespeare’s plays came out four hundred years ago.

-----“Really? I finished one just last week.”

-----King Nernst waddled up behind them. “Excellent work, my friends. Now for your final mission.”

-----Everyone paused.

-----Aren’t you going to tell us?Pablo asked.

-----“I was kind of waiting on someone to ask,” King Nernst said.

-----We’re not about that life, son,Xaeraz said. His attempt at slapping the gigantic possum was met with said gigantic possum turning around and thwacking Xaeraz halfway across the beach.

-----“There is a dark force on this island, a being that is the very utter embodiment of evil and malevolence. You may have heard of … Makuta.”

-----That tall guy from Canada?Xaeraz asked while hobbling back to the rest of the group.

-----“What?”

-----Xaeraz waved his hands. “Just … forget I said anything.

-----“Your job is to find Makuta and face him in his lair. Defeat him, and you will be sent home. Lose, and you will face the rest of your existence here … if you’re not dead.”

-----Sumiki’s Dad nodded. “Maybe I should have saved Mr. Styrofoam after all … Edited by Sumiki
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A voice that sounds like a cross between Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones sounds like an amazing voice. I would want that voice. :P

 

And I enjoyed having the Gadunka with the team. He should join them just so he can stare at Takuma. :)

 

I can't wait to see how they take on Makuta.

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  • 2 weeks later...

CHAPTER FIVE

the waffling

 

-----King Nernst wandered off into the distance, taking a reluctant Colonel Blimpie with him.

-----"We need to get to Makuta, then," Sumiki's Dad said. "Evil Blog Master?"

-----"Yes?" Takuma said.

-----"Bring me the waffle iron."

-----"How did you know that I had a waffle iron?"

-----"My waffle iron senses were tingling."

-----Thus, Takuma produced a waffle iron from somewhere, and began to look around for batter. There was none to be found.

-----"You looking for batter?" Pablo asked.

-----"There's none to be found," Takuma said.

-----Sumiki's Dad bent over the waffle iron and poured sand into it. He waited for a while, then opened it up to a blackened waffle-like thing.

-----"Not much, but it'll do."

-----Takuma picked up the steaming waffle and looked at it quizzically. "What are we supposed to do with these?"

-----"Cheese whiz," Sumiki's Dad said. He produced some cheese whiz from his back pocket and sprayed the cheese-like material onto the waffle-like thing. He lay it down carefully and then stepped on it.

-----The waffle held underneath the weight of his foot, and he began gliding around on one foot around the beach.

-----Presently, the entire crew had cheese-whizzed the waffle-like things onto their feet and were gliding through the woods, making headway towards the center of the island.

-----Eventually they made it to Kini-Nui, the Great Temple, at the very center of the island.

-----"Well, this is where we need to be," Pablo said. He slipped the waffle-like things off and walked up the stairs, leaving footprints in preservative-laden cheesiness all over the stone.

-----"So you're saying that we need to get down underneath this ... Quinoa?"

-----"Kini-Nui," Valendale corrected. He had gotten slightly depressed when he realized that he was unlikely to meet Kopaka, or even anyone from Ko-Koro.

-----Xaeraz, who had wandered away from the group at this point, returned. He was carrying a bird bath.

-----"Why the bird bath?" Sumiki's Dad asked. Even he, the veritable purveyor of non sequiturs, could not understand whatever perverse logic lay behind Xaeraz's new pet.

-----"You know its name, not its story," he said softly.

-----"That ... that doesn't even make sense, really," Pablo said.

-----Xaeraz's stare was as good as a slap.

-----As they discussed these and other important issues, Sumiki's Dad wandered over to the center of Kini-Nui and looked down at what appeared to be a manhole cover. He reached down and pried it up, and it clanged down with a resonant timbre that halted any further conversations.

-----"I think we found it," Sumiki's Dad said.

-----The gang crowded around the hole and looked down into it. Nothing could be seen.

-----"I can't see anything," Avohkah Tamer said.

-----"Hold on," Takuma said. He pulled out the waffle iron. "It doubles as a high-powered flashlight."

-----He powered it on and shone it down into the hole. Movement could be seen in the depths, but nothing emerged.

-----"Well. Who wants to go first?" Pablo asked.

-----No one volunteered.

-----The debate over who should descend first began, cut short by the appearance of a brain. The brain had lips, stubby monkey arms, and centipede-like legs. Its appendages glowed like neon lights.

-----"WHAT IS THAT," Pablo yelled.

-----"Well," Sumiki's Dad grumbled. "If it isn't my old nemesis, Monkey Brain."

-----"Hello again, Sumiki's Dad," Monkey Brain said. "I'm sure that I'll see more of you later."

-----"How so?"

-----"I've been hired to protect Makuta. I had no idea I would have the pleasure of revenge."

-----"You know this thing?" Valendale asked.

-----"El Paso, 1985. Seven tomatoes were seriously injured. We each vowed our revenge."

-----"And I shall have it," Monkey Brain said. He tried to jump on Sumiki's Dad, but was crushed by Xaeraz's bird bath.

-----Still, Monkey Brain eked out its last words. "You have not seen the last of me," it said.

-----With Monkey Brain defeated, they turned their attention to the manhole cover and to the mystery that lay beneath.

-----The sky rumbled as Sumiki's Dad took the first step into darkness.

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Just when I think I've seen the limit of strange things that could happen in this comedy, the guys use cheese whiz covered sand waffles to speed through the forest. Who knew? :P

 

When Monkey Brain appearred, I thought at first that it would be Mother Brain from Metroid. But instead we get an even better character. I wonder if he will return soon.

 

But anyway, this was another great chapter. Now I'm really looking forward to their showdown with Makuta!

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CHAPTER SIX

revenge of monkey brain

 

-----Sumiki's Dad led the way down into the bowels of Kini-Nui. They found that there were some lightstones scattered around at random intervals, and that the tunnel was not all that long.

-----Presently they emptied out into a small damp room. A slanted elevator took up most of one side.

-----"So ... can we, like, take the stairs or something?" Takuma asked. He looked around with the waffle iron flashlight, but could not find a stairwell.

-----"It's just an elevator. How bad can it be?" Sumiki's Dad asked.

-----He pressed the button and the elevator doors opened. They piled in. Pablo pressed the down button.

-----Off they went—at an angle, no less—until they skidded to an audible and frightening stop. The doors creaked open to reveal another room, not much larger from the one whence they had come, but filled to the brim with clones of Monkey Brain.

-----"Naval dust," they chittered and chanted. They were all more excited about the appearance of the group than they were about attacking any of its constituent members.

-----Xaeraz yanked the doors closed and smashed the down key again. This time they were off in another direction.

-----"How many ways does this thing go?" Takuma asked.

-----"We're goin' all Charlie and the Chocolate Factory up in this," Pablo said.

-----Another stop, and another room full of Monkey Brains, another direction for the elevator.

-----Sumiki's Dad brought out a legal pad and began sketching the directions that the elevator had whisked them to. He found something disturbing.

-----"It's spelling something," he said. "I think it's the letter M."

-----Whether or not this was for "Makuta" or "Monkey Brain," no one knew.

-----Sure enough, they went in another direction. The doors opened once more to a large tunnel, this one not infested with Monkey Brains.

-----"No Monkey Brains?" Pablo asked.

-----"They're around here," Sumiki's Dad said, stroking his facial hair with a toothbrush. "I'm sure of it."

-----The raggedy band tiptoed their way down the hallway, trying not to disturb any of the Monkey Brains that might be hiding in the walls. Sure enough, as they approached the other side, a massive Monkey Brain, twelve feet high and with more legs than any of the other Monkey Brains combined, stepped out. Its massive lips hung loose, and drool accumulated on the ground.

-----Sumiki's Dad turned around to face Monkey Brain.

-----"This is our real meeting," Monkey Brain said. "My 'death' earlier was simply a distraction. You didn't really think that I'd hit the weights after El Paso?" Monkey Brain let out a deep, but clearly contrived, laugh. "I've been hitting the weights since '73! Plus, you know full well that there is no size limit to the Monkey Brain species?"

-----"That's what makes you so insidious," Sumiki's Dad said. "But why are you working for Makuta?"

-----Monkey Brain shrugged as much as it could. "It pays the bills. Three Widgets an hour, plus a great insurance plan. I get to choose my own optometrist!"

-----"You don't even have eyes," Sumiki's Dad said.

-----"Leave it to Sumiki's Dad to ruin everything," Monkey Brain roared. "Now my revenge will be complete!"

-----"NOT SO FAST!" Takuma yelled. With this distraction, he ran and clamped the waffle iron on Monkey Brain's top lip, searing it. Monkey Brain curled up and tried to get it off, but its attempts were unsuccessful because it couldn't see what it was doing.

-----Xaeraz and Pablo ran to the end of the hallway, opening the massive double doors. Once everyone had advanced to the chamber beyond, they slammed the doors shut.

-----"Okay," Xaeraz said. "I don't think we have much time until Monkey Brain figures it out. Let's move."

-----But no one moved.

-----The chamber before them was a veritable chasm. A swirling vortex of everything and nothing swirled in the middle, hanging in midair and supported only by a faint and eerie glow.

-----"Makuta," Avohkah Tamer breathed.

-----A figure appeared in the deep darkness beneath the swirling mass. It could only be the Master of Shadows himself.

-----"You know my name," Makuta said. "Not my story."

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CHAPTER SEVEN

showdown with makuta

 


-----Makuta stepped out into the faint light, and for the first time his form came into view.
 
-----He was a large paperclip, spray-painted bright orange, with alfalfa sprouts near where his ears might have been if he wasn't a paperclip.
 
-----"Well," Pablo said. "Orange you glad you met Makuta?"
 
-----Xaeraz slapped him.
 
-----"I'm not Makuta, really," Makuta said. "I'm Will Ferrell."
 
-----"You're not Will Ferrell," Takuma said. "Besides, why would you want to be Will Ferrell?"
 
-----"What's wrong with Will Ferrell?" Makuta asked, defensively.
 
-----"I mean ... if you're going to be deluded into thinking you're a comedian, why Will Ferrell?"
 
-----"I thought I was quite good in Elf. Did you see the scene with the Coke bottle? Classic!"
 
-----"It was crude and uninventive!"
 
-----Makuta backed up and imitated Takuma. "Hi, I call myself a Blog Master and all I can do is rag on successful celebrities!"
 
-----Takuma balled his hands into fists. "Why you little—"
 
-----He charged Makuta, only to be thrown up against the wall by an invisible force.
 
-----"You forget how many powers I have at my command, Bloggy One," Makuta said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an island to terrorize."
 
-----"Not on my watch," Sumiki's Dad said.
 
-----Everyone just stared at everyone else for about half a minute.
 
-----"Well?" Makuta asked at long last. "Aren't you going to do something?"
 
-----"No, actually, I was just stalling for time."
 
-----"Ah. Well, in that case, I must be off."
 
-----Makuta turned away. Sumiki's Dad ran up behind him and removed his alfalfa sprouts.
 
-----"HEY!" Makuta yelled, swatting at Sumiki's Dad with weak chain lightning. "That was my last good pair!"
 
-----"AHA!" Sumiki's Dad yelled back, stuffing the alfalfa sprouts inside his mouth. "Now you're powerless!"
 
-----"Well, actually, I was just accessorizing," Makuta said. "They were quite trendy on Zakaz back in the day ..."
 
-----Sumiki's Dad spat out the alfalfa sprouts. "Hopy cee. What was in that?"
 
-----"Nothing, really," Makuta said. "They probably expired by now. I got 'em two months ago. ANYWAY. Now I have to kill you, I guess."
 
-----"Not on my watch," Xaeraz said. Still dragging around the bird bath, he now seemed to have something in it.
 
-----"Another stalling tactic?" Makuta asked.
 
-----"Hardly, Teridax," Xaeraz said.
 
-----Makuta winced at the name and quietly cursed the name of Greg Farshtey.
 
-----"I have here the only thing that can defeat you," Xaeraz said.
 
-----"A bird bath?"
 
-----"Not the bird bath—what's growing in it," Xaeraz said. He yanked out a small stick of celery, not much longer than his little finger.
 
-----"No," Makuta breathed.
 
-----"Oh yes," Xaeraz said, pulling at the celery from both ends. The celery grew and grew to enormous proportions, and now resembled a baseball bat more than it did a vegetable.
 
-----"YOU WON'T GET ME TH—"
 
-----Xaeraz swung the celery and knocked Makuta straight up and into the swirling vortex.
 
-----"Collapsible celery," he said, collapsing the celery back into its small form. "Works every time."

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  • 3 weeks later...

To quote Kopeke...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

How. How does this even make sense. How is this supposed to be funny. :dazed:  And I thought Mixels wasn't very funny. I'm sorry sir, but this "comedy" has no story, no sense, no... I don't even know when you're supposed to laugh, because nothing is funny! It's all too random and out of nowhere, and almost nothing makes sense at all. :bored:

 

I hate to leave negative feedback, but I personally don't think this is worthy of any positive feedback. :notsure:  Next time you make a comedy, make it have actual jokes & puns and not just a series of seemingly random events that make little sense.

The artist formerly known as


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BBC#69 Entry: Roodaka - Master of Manipulation


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How. How does this even make sense. How is this supposed to be funny. :dazed:  And I thought Mixels wasn't very funny. I'm sorry sir, but this "comedy" has no story, no sense, no... I don't even know when you're supposed to laugh, because nothing is funny! It's all too random and out of nowhere, and almost nothing makes sense at all. :bored:

 

I hate to leave negative feedback, but I personally don't think this is worthy of any positive feedback. :notsure:  Next time you make a comedy, make it have actual jokes & puns and not just a series of seemingly random events that make little sense.

You're overthinking it, man. This story made me laugh so hard my belly hurt, and that's enough to convince me that it's funny.

 

I think the majority of the population would agree.

Edited by Shadowhawk
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How. How does this even make sense. How is this supposed to be funny. :dazed:  And I thought Mixels wasn't very funny. I'm sorry sir, but this "comedy" has no story, no sense, no... I don't even know when you're supposed to laugh, because nothing is funny! It's all too random and out of nowhere, and almost nothing makes sense at all. :bored:

 

I hate to leave negative feedback, but I personally don't think this is worthy of any positive feedback. :notsure:  Next time you make a comedy, make it have actual jokes & puns and not just a series of seemingly random events that make little sense.

You're overthinking it, man. This story made me laugh so hard my belly hurt, and that's enough to convince me that it's funny.

 

I think the majority of the population would agree.

 

I think the majority of the population are nuts. There's a reason why I watch very few TV shows... most aren't worth watching, in my opnion. Maybe it's just my sense of humour that's different. This is what I find funny.

The artist formerly known as


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BBC#69 Entry: Roodaka - Master of Manipulation


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I think the majority of the population are nuts. There's a reason why I watch very few TV shows... most aren't worth watching, in my opnion. Maybe it's just my sense of humour that's different. This is what I find funny.

Well, there certainly are many different types and standards of 'funny' in this world, and just because one doesn't understand a particular type, doesn't mean it's entirely worthless, or that one can only understand that lone particular type. I find old-school cartoons amusing, just as you do, but I also find The Adventures of Sumiki's Dad amusing. Each in its own way. It's a perspective thing.

 

And I don't think I'm 'nuts', either. Eccentric, maybe, but I daresay my mental faculties are perfectly intact.

 

Just sayin'. ;)

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To quote Kopeke...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

How. How does this even make sense. How is this supposed to be funny. :dazed:  And I thought Mixels wasn't very funny. I'm sorry sir, but this "comedy" has no story, no sense, no... I don't even know when you're supposed to laugh, because nothing is funny! It's all too random and out of nowhere, and almost nothing makes sense at all. :bored:

 

I hate to leave negative feedback, but I personally don't think this is worthy of any positive feedback. :notsure:  Next time you make a comedy, make it have actual jokes & puns and not just a series of seemingly random events that make little sense.

... are you my mom? This sounds a lot like my mom. Hi mom!  :howdy:

 

XD You should DEFINITELY join the Bionicle Comedy Central [ :P] Randomness is big there [:P

 

Also, have you ever met Ihuntress? [:P] Because her comedies are very random too [:P]

This comedy was not inspired by anything other than my dad, who has dictated the plot of every chapter thus far.

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I think the majority of the population are nuts. There's a reason why I watch very few TV shows... most aren't worth watching, in my opnion. Maybe it's just my sense of humour that's different. This is what I find funny.

Well, there certainly are many different types and standards of 'funny' in this world, and just because one doesn't understand a particular type, doesn't mean it's entirely worthless, or that one can only understand that lone particular type. I find old-school cartoons amusing, just as you do, but I also find The Adventures of Sumiki's Dad amusing. Each in its own way. It's a perspective thing.

 

And I don't think I'm 'nuts', either. Eccentric, maybe, but I daresay my mental faculties are perfectly intact.

 

Just sayin'. ;)

 

Fair point. Maybe it's just the out-of-somewhere-beyond-nowhere lines that are making this too weird for me.

The artist formerly known as


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BBC#69 Entry: Roodaka - Master of Manipulation


BFTGM entries: Zigben · Ventox · Deflecto


 


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