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Only Grains of Sand


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#1 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Sep 27 2014 - 01:56 PM

Why wouldn't the rain stop?

 

The cries of the gulls echoed from the far off cliffs and the waves slowly and methodically advanced up the beach in herald of the coming dawn.  The wind sighed as the treetops tossed to and fro and the rain came down.  It was the kind of night that was meant for snuggling up at home and enjoying the melody of raindrops atop rooftops.  It was the kind of night that was meant for a nice hot cup of tea in front of the fire and talking quietly with those you loved.  It was the kind of night that called for peace and quiet and a well earned sleep.  But this night was different.  This night there was no peace.  This night, there was no sleep.  This night, the rain came pouring down.

 

Why wouldn't it stop?

 

A lone figure sat in the sand, no care for the waves that crept slowly up his legs.  A broken mask was held reverently in his hands and his shoulders were slumped in the posture of grief and regret.  The sea lapped at his scarred body and the rain washed down his grimy visage.  His normally bright and flashing eyes were dull.  His hands shook.  The rain came down.

 

Slowly, ever so slowly, the night wore on.  And the waves retreated and the gulls quieted and the sky began to slowly become less dark.  And yet the rain came pouring down.

 

The Toa sat in the sand still, and his hands did not loosen their grip on the cracked mask.

 

And as the sky began to turn a lighter grey, another figure approached.  Her peculiar shade of blue provided a beacon, a point of hope in that colorless dawn.  Tahu raised his head.  His eyes sparked momentarily before returning to a duller shade of garnet.

 

"Tahu."  The Toa of Water sat down next to him and pulled her legs to her chest and put her hand on the sand between them.

 

This did not go unnoticed by the Toa of Fire.  His eyes flickered to her.  His mask was grimy and stained, either with dirt or blood, it was difficult to say - all the rain of the night had done little to clean him.  

 

Tahu turned his face away from the Toa of Water and his shoulders gave an involuntary shudder.  

 

"Tahu," the Toa of Water said again.  "You must talk to me.  I know why you sit out here far away from your people.  I know why you grip that Kanohi in your hand.  I know why you won't look at me."

 

He gave no answer.

 

"Talk to me, Tahu!"  Her eyes flashed a brighter yellow and she put her hand upon his arm.

 

Finally, he turned to her.  His eyes glittered.  "Gali.  I can't talk to you.  Not now."

 

Gali stared into the crimson eyes of the Toa of Fire and said five simple words, "I am here for you."

 

Tahu bowed his head and looked down.  

 

For many minutes, there was silence as the sun rose behind the grey curtain of the clouds.  The sand began to come alive with little birds hunting for their morning meal.  Between Tahu and Gali was that silence that can only exist between true friends - that kind of silence that understands that sometimes words are not possible and yet there is no discomfort because true friends know that no silence and no words can mar the bonds of unity.  And so there was a communion of silence between the Toa of Water and the Toa of Fire.  And the rain came down.

 

"Can't you make it stop?"

 

Gali jerked upright.  She had not expected Tahu to speak.  "Why can't I make what stop?"

 

"The rain.  It keeps raining.  Always raining.  At first I thought it would make me feel better and that I would be cleaner and that it might wash this night away.  But it keeps raining."  Tahu put a weary hand to his temple, leaning towards Gali in exhausted sorrow.

 

Gali put her arm out and drew Tahu in, embracing him as she never thought he'd need.

 

"Tahu, I...I'm sorry, I can't stop the rain.  I can make it start raining if I wish, but making it stop is a bit more difficult."

 

Tahu gave a bitter chuckle.  "I know the feeling.  When I start a lava flow and it swells and I find I can't control it anymore.  It's an alarming feeling."

 

As he rested against Gali, he kept talking. "Gali, I don't know anymore.  This cursed island will make fools of us all.  We came here and we felt so right.  We were chosen.  We were made to defend this island and bring justice to the land.  We even made Kopaka see reason and join with us.  We swore we would defeat the Makuta and bring this land to an age of peace.  And what have we done?

 

"We've done nothing, Gali.  The Rahi of the Makuta pour out in greater and yet greater numbers and we fight and we can't stop them.  We haven't seen Lewa in far too long.  Onua isn't reporting.  Pohatu is brooding in the deserts of Po-Wahi and Kopaka has abandoned us.  Yet, we fight.  

 

"Why do we fight, Gali?  We are Toa, I suppose, there is that.  But before we came, the Matoran served the Makuta, and if they weren't happy, at least they were alive.  They had families and they lived and they died and they sat around the fires of Ta-Koro and told stories about their ancestors.  Their lives were not perfect.  But what did that matter?
 

"And then we came.  We came and made grandiose promises and told them we would defeat the Makuta.  We woke the Matoran out of their slumber and they became passionate.  My people...the Ta-Koronans raised their spears and shields and fought against these Rahi as they never had before.  But why?

 

"It would have been better if we never came at all.  Better for us not to come and better for us not to give them hope at all than for this...this monstrous war.  I am tired of death, Gali.  I am oh so tired."

 

Gali pulled Tahu closer to herself.

 

"And Gali, this night has been the worst night of all.  You say you know of it?"

 

Gali nodded slowly.  "I came to Ta-Koro as soon as I heard the messenger.  I spoke to the Turaga and he told me of the battle.  He told me what happened."

 

Tahu flinched.  "You don't know what happened Gali.  How can you?  You weren't there.  You didn't stand on the shores of the Tren Krom and watch as the horde of infected Rahi poured upon us.  You didn't fight with the Guard against the onslaught.  Pure evil, Gali.  Pure evil.  What being could send such monsters upon the Matoran to tear and bite and rip and kill?  This Makuta is beyond any of us.  I should have denied the Guard their request to join me in the battle.  I could have made the river overflow its banks and wipe away the filth of Makuta like the dung they are.  I could have done this.  Yet I thought...why did I think?  I acted as the Great Spirit and decided that it would be good for the Guard to fight with me, to maintain their honor as the protectors of Ta-Koro.  I let them fight, Gali.  Their spears, their discs.  So small against the hulking Kane-Ra and the hideous Nui-Jaga.  The Matoran - they are so little!  Gali, why?

 

"They fought as I have never seen before.  Jala led them brilliantly and I was in every breach and I was in every gap.  I was there to turn back the horns and teeth of the Rahi and provide a brilliant victory that all these brave Matoran could tell their children about.  And the sun was setting.  And victory was almost at hand.  Even with the uncountable infected beasts descending upon us, we had victory in our grasp.  Every single Nui-Rama had been sent flying home to their foul nest.  Every Nui-Jaga had their Kanohi torn from them.  There were a few raging Kane-Ra to contend with and we had them backed up against the Tren Krom.  My sword was in my hand and a song was in my heart.  And then I heard his cry.

 

Gali bit her lip as she held Tahu close.

 

"It was a small cry, little more than a whimper.  Not one Matoran had been wounded all night, so bravely and brilliantly had they fought.  And I heard his groan.  I leaped over and sliced the last Kanohi from the Kane-Ra and turned to see him on the ground.  His.." Tahu's voice cracked.

 

"His body was savaged.  He had engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a beast ten times his size.  Why?  We had won.  We had won.  One bite from the teeth of the beast and...I picked him up.  His Kakama...you see it.  It is broken.  I saw him look at me.  And he should have hated me for dooming him so.  I had sentenced him to death the moment I allowed the Guard to fight.  But the eyes of this Matoran.  This brave and stalwart soul.  He looked at me with pride and love.  He opened his mouth...he said, 'my Toa'.  He didn't say anything else.  I put him down on the broken ground.

 

"It should have been a victory, Gali.  We marched back to Ta-Koro and his friends carried his body in high honor.  Why though?  Why did he have to die?

 

"I raised my fire over his body as Jala spoke of his greatness on the field of battle.  And Jala did not exaggerate - he never does.  He simply spoke the truth.  And I stood by.  I lit the funeral pyre.  They were all crying.  I couldn't cry.  My people, Gali.  My village.  I have failed them.  We have failed them all.  Why is this world so wrong, Gali?  Why did he have to die?"

 

Tahu's voice cracked again.  His shoulders shook in silent sobs and the broken Kakama slid to the sand.  And so Gali and Tahu sat in silent sorrow, the grim earth below and the grey sky above.  Still, the rain came pouring down.

 

And a lone tear fell from Tahu's eye.


Edited by Israeli Toa, Sep 27 2014 - 02:03 PM.

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"What in Kenobi’s name is a Nui-Rama?!" -- Zinyo Tahkanir, Jedi Knight --Toa of the New Republic

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#2 Offline Toa Smoke Monster

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Posted Sep 29 2014 - 10:37 PM

Good story. I like that you have put a darker feel on this part of the Toa Mata's story on Mata Nui. You really feel bad for Tahu once you learn that he feels responsible for the death of the Ta-Koro Guard. It shows that there can be a price for every victory, which is what is showed here. 

 

I really enjoyed this story from beginning to end. Good job with it!


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#3 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Oct 04 2014 - 11:20 AM



Good story. I like that you have put a darker feel on this part of the Toa Mata's story on Mata Nui. You really feel bad for Tahu once you learn that he feels responsible for the death of the Ta-Koro Guard. It shows that there can be a price for every victory, which is what is showed here. 

 

I really enjoyed this story from beginning to end. Good job with it!

Thanks much, TSM!!  Appreciate reading your thoughts.  :)  I've had this story skeleton in my head for a while(the past few months probably?) and it was very satisfying to be able to sit down last Saturday with my tea and just get it from my head onto paper(...er, virtual paper, that is).  I wanted to show the emotional trauma experienced by the Toa(specifically Tahu here).  I also have always enjoyed writing about Ta-Koro.  It was a bit odd dipping my toes into the Bionicle world again though.  Probably been...five plus years since I've written any Bionicle fanfic?  Wow.  But I felt it was time.  :)

 

Again - thanks for the comments and kind words!

:tohu:

-IT


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#4 Offline ToaDraconixMahvi

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Posted Oct 16 2014 - 01:02 PM

OK, who died?


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#5 Offline Wazdakka

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Posted Oct 16 2014 - 08:49 PM

This was a really impressive, emotional read. However, it felt a little off to see Tahu so vulnerable, but it was still thoroughly well-done. 


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#6 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Nov 22 2014 - 01:35 PM

ToaDraconix...the Matoran that died was unnamed intentionally.  :psychotwitch:  Tahu's reaction here isn't due to the fact that he was particularly close to the Matoran...but just because it was one of his people.  And so he weeps.  

 

Waz - thanks much for kind words!!  I agree that this is a very atypical reaction from Tahu.  We *never* see him act this way.  But I wanted to show a night of raw emotion and vulnerability from Tahu...and I hope I succeeded?  I don't see how one could be responsible for a village such as Ta-Koro and not be grief-stricken when some of the villagers in his charge perish.

 

Also...he would never have revealed this much of himself to anyone but Gali.  And thankfully, Gali knows how to comfort him here.  

 

Anyway - thanks to you all for reading and responding.  Much appreciated.  :)

:tohu:

-IT


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#7 Offline Wiriamu

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Posted Mar 07 2016 - 04:44 PM

Dang, this story is intense. It almost sounds like a dark alternate reality story.


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#8 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Mar 22 2016 - 01:17 PM

Yep, it's a bit brutal, isn't it?  Thanks for the comment. :)  And...if I had ever finished my epic, this would have been a scene that would have been in it(perhaps from a different perspective, though) - since I never did finish that, figured I wanted to write this scene nonetheless...as it was in my head begging to be told.  The reality of war...it's not all honor and glory, is it?

:tohu:

-IT


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#9 Offline Erasmus Graves

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Posted Mar 23 2016 - 01:27 AM

This is very good. It focuses on the smaller, darker parts of the campaign against Makuta and examines the repercussions of the battles. Seeing Tahu so vulnerable is an intimate glimpse into the psychology of the Toa of Fire.

It explores the humanisation of soldiers in a conflict rather than the dehumanisation, and since this aspect isn't often gone over in detail, you are to be commended on that.

I really enjoyed this dark little tale - here, take a :)​.

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#10 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Jun 07 2016 - 02:18 PM

Erasmus - I just realized I never responded to your most kind review!  Thanks much for your comments, I appreciated reading them.  :)  You noted exactly what I was trying to get at with this story, and that's always a very rewarding feeling for a writer!!  Glad you enjoyed.  :)

:tohu:

-IT


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#11 Offline Toa Imrukii

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Posted Jun 07 2016 - 09:04 PM

That last line, I couldn't help but feel a happy yet sorrowful feeling. The feels if you will.

This story honestly touched me, in a way so riveting, so familiar, yet untold. That familiar feeling of ones strength and self-empowerment. Yet, we saw a side to Tahu only fantisized about in my minds eye, and knowing that my fantisies where not overglorified, but rather fitting into place for his strong character. How they cry is a question for another day, but what matters here is Tahu's sence of sorrow for loss. A side which again, we rarely ever saw. Yet another thing we also rarely saw was such empathy coming from Gali. Or, atleast in was very much void in much of Bionicle for me that is. Nevertheless it fits her character perfectly, wanting to bring comfort, but knowing not of ones pain truly even in the most dire of situtations or be it past, a feelong so faniliar to me in the most dire of times, yet a feeling quickly extinguised in light of a flood of empathetic pain which I have felt. I personally not know of Tahu's pain, at least not yet in my life, but Gali's I know all to well.

But this isn't about me, it's about the pain felt by those, be it rarely, but by those so Idolized and loved, even by his own people. But it isn't the pain of that Matoran, but the pain of just him. Tahu, and the other Ta-Matoran.

In sort this is a perfect representation of a side we rarely would have ever seen of Tahu, and I feel the writing fits everyone's character's just perfectly, so with that I feel that you aced it in that regard.

Any cons? Not really in all honesty, perhaps gali could have been more talkitive, but even that probably wouldn't have mattered honestly.

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#12 Offline FrozenPancake_

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Posted Jun 14 2016 - 01:24 PM

This piece is emotional. I teared up a little at the end. 

 

 


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A big thank you to Toucan Sam for the Okotian name.

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#13 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Sep 08 2016 - 10:29 AM

Oh boy - to still see new replies and views on this is really special to me.  Thanks you all.  :)

 

FrozenPancake...I have to confess, I teared up *writing* it.  So I'm glad that my feelings writing transferred though the medium of printed text to you...it is a high compliment you've paid me.  Thank you.

 

Toa Imrukii - I don't quite know what to say to your long and most eloquent review.  Other than the fact that it resonated with you on a personal level(and indeed - reflected some deeply intimate and real emotions you've had)...that is something an author always craves.  The connection with the reader.  And a deeper truth being present in a story - always a question I like to ask myself, as much as we are writing about a fantastical world with created characters, "Is this story true?"  Does it include elements that speak to the human soul?  Your response tells me I at least partially succeeded here.  Thank you.

 

And indeed, all the comments received here have been very gratefully received.  I have even considered re-posting my old epic here at some point soon(and if I really get my writing muse back - I may write more!).  Thanks to all of you.  :)

:tohu:

-IT


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#14 Offline ToaDraconixMahvi

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Posted Sep 22 2016 - 01:22 AM

I asked who died, ages ago, due to one solitary truth: Names, not numbers. People, not logistics. Honor and compassion both dictate to me that I have to know the names of the fallen, and this story had resonated in a way that just feels so right, like it MUST have happened in a real Bionicle Universe, and yet...I ask who died, because the fallen warriors-true heroes-MUST be named, lest they be forgotten amidst the endless turning of the tides, beneath the waves of eternity, and lost to all...I may not have teared up here, but I do respond, deeply and personally-and so fully about the sense of loss-to this story...please, even if you must come up with a name, name the Matoran...that is all I ask...
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#15 Offline Israeli Toa

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Posted Sep 22 2016 - 01:02 PM

TDM - how can I not respond to this?  I must confess, the reason I didn't reveal the name earlier is because it is a character near and dear to my heart and I didn't think anyone who read this would understand or remember the story of this Matoran.  The epic I wrote so long ago(must have been almost 15 years ago now!) had several characters that lived and breathed truly.  And even back then, I knew this one Matoran would die in battle against the beasts of the Makuta.  

 

I never did finish that epic(although I still do have hopes, faint as they may be), but this story here is placed shortly after his death.  And so as I am unlikely ever to finish my epic(and in truth, who would read it now anyway...after so long), I shall name him here, because you are right.  His name is Ruha, brave soul, lover of life, most loyal of friends, true Ta-Matoran and member of the Guard.  

 

Long may he be remembered.

:tohu:

-IT 


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#16 Offline ToaDraconixMahvi

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Posted Oct 02 2016 - 06:43 PM

TDM - how can I not respond to this? I must confess, the reason I didn't reveal the name earlier is because it is a character near and dear to my heart and I didn't think anyone who read this would understand or remember the story of this Matoran. The epic I wrote so long ago(must have been almost 15 years ago now!) had several characters that lived and breathed truly. And even back then, I knew this one Matoran would die in battle against the beasts of the Makuta.

I never did finish that epic(although I still do have hopes, faint as they may be), but this story here is placed shortly after his death. And so as I am unlikely ever to finish my epic(and in truth, who would read it now anyway...after so long), I shall name him here, because you are right. His name is Ruha, brave soul, lover of life, most loyal of friends, true Ta-Matoran and member of the Guard.

Long may he be remembered.
:tohu:
-IT

...I thank thee...Alve'eir talxua zr'ien, Gran'tul Zelveir; Rest forever peacefully, Honorable Hero. Again, thank you, Israeli, and I'm with you on the fact that there are Matoran and other characters, in many different places, in many stories, so strong of personality, that they are truly alive; for me, it was Vakama from Bionicle, as well as several other characters I will always be a fan of, and then some. Picture a small bow, with a guy with a sad frown on his face...that's me right now.

Edit: and...I woujwoujld read that epic.

Edited by ToaDraconixMahvi, Oct 02 2016 - 06:43 PM.

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