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Bionicle In 300 Words


Toa Levacius Zehvor

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INTRODUCTION To those who did not attend Omegafest, and have not received the briefing - Bionicle in 300 Words is a short, 11 chapter comedy. Chapters will be posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Tuesday at 5 PM PST, possibly earlier or later depending on planning. For example, this first chapter is being posted at 9 PM PST. Each chapter takes an overdose of randomness mixed with your favorite Bionicle characters and pretty much ruins how you viewed your favorite year of the series. Or make you laugh. We're aiming for the later, obviously, but whatever happens I do not care. As long as you at least laughed. Maybe a little. Just a chuckle? A smile. Ah, never mind. Anyways, this is all in preparation for my big project - the Bionicle House - which will begin either the week following or two weeks following the last episode of this comedy. And, of course, the largest projects of all, my RPG and Epic... but that's off topic, this is the comedy forum! Note: This comedy isn't meant to be serious, so repeat to yourself "It's just a show comedy, I should really just relax." It's also very random, and not very well written. I didn't even spellcheck it or grammar check it or anything, it was written up as it came to me on a Notepad document titled "300 Words". The same applies to canon, I will mess around with it for my personal enjoyment. And so, the first chapter begins now: CHAPTER 1 - 2001 in 500 or 600 or so Words BEACH OF MATA-NUITahu: *Wakes up* Where am I. *Picks up sword* This is heavy. *Puts on mask* Wow, now I have super powers! (he walks off into the burnt forest) BURNT UP FORESTTahu: Gee, this seems like a great idea, going through a forest. *Spike trap comes up* Ah! Spikes! *Cuts spikes with fire sword*Jalla: *Gasps and pops up* He has a sword! And can set things on fire! He must be the hero who will save us! Take him to Vakama!(Matoran escort him to Vakama) TA-KOROVakama: Tahu, you must save the island.Tahu: Why?Vakama: Becuase, you have to. Makuta is evil, becuase he has shadow as a power.Tahu: Oh, okay. How do I do that.Vakama: Find the Kanohi masks. And remember - gotta catch 'em all. LATER, SOMEWHEREKopaka: I hate my life. And you.Pohatu: ... and so then I said, like, "Hewkii, you're never going to be a toa, so, like, shut up" but he was all "I'm gonna be a toa like you and I'm gonna save your sorry but". As if... hey look, other toa!Tahu: *Looks up from talking to Gali, Onua, and Lewa* Hey look, other toa.Kopaka: We should kill them.Pohatu: OTHER TOA! *Runs at them with arms open wide* A FEW BEATINGS LATERLewa: *Acts goofy*Tahu: ... so we gotta catch 'em all.Gali: How do we catch them?Tahu: Well, there are these evil monsters guarding them, and we beat them up and take the mask from them.Lewa: Whee!Onua: We have to beat he who must not be named.Pohatu: Who's that?Onua: He cannot be named.Tahu: You mean Makuta?Island: *Splits in half as a giant shadowy storm whips up and Cthulu rises from the ocean, then comes back together and Cthulu goes back underwater*Onua: Don't say his name! LATERKopaka: *passes out from being hit by a block of ice*Wairuha: You must fuse together to become me!Kopaka: *Wakes up and looks down* Shoot, this ice block is melting. *Jumps and almost lands in the lava*Lewa: Yay! *Saves him* EVEN LATERTahu: Alright, we have all the masks...Gali: Yep.Tahu: And we're entrusting a group of matoran to defend our backs so we aren't eaten.Jaller: Yep.Takua: I'm the chronicler!Jaller: Shut up *slaps him*Tahu: Alright, lets throw all of our masks away on these statues! *Places masks on statues with other toa*Golden Masks: *Appear*Tahu: Yay! Our masks our gold now! *Puts on and walks into the Mangaia*Lewa: How is this better-gooder? *Follows* SLIGHTLY AFTERWARDSGali: AH! Crabs!Manas Army: *Attack*Tahu: Quick, form Voltron and use the sword to attack the pillars! Defeat the robobeast!*Toa form into the toa Kaita*Akamai: Bust ALL the pillars! *Attacks the pillars*Waihura: My name sounds like a girls. *Attacks the pillars*Manas: *Go asleep*Akamai: *As Waihura walks onwards* Wait... so we're not going to finish them off? A SHORT WALK LATERTakua: *Following* I'z a stalker!Toa Kaita: *Split into six*Tahu: What is this I don't even...Matoran: *Appears*Lewa: Ah! Creepy matoran!Makuta Matoran: I'm the bad guy. Rawrgh. *Turns into a mask in a pool of shadow*Tahu: Combine your powers! *Attacks the Makuta shadow pool*Other Toa: *Do the same thing*Makuta: Oh no! Six toa defeated me, even though I have 43 plus powers, can create an army, and am basically a god to these people. Gee, are they really that stupid? *Fades away*Tahu: Yay! We're stupid and we won!Other Toa: *Yay!*Takua: Ooh, look, teleporter! Ooh, look, Bohrok! *Uses Teleporter as Bohrok wake up* Ooh, look, Vakama by the water.Vakama: Oh high Takua! Good job! Now get away from me you red and blue freak!Takua: Fine... END Well, thank you for reading sirs, and have a pleasant midnight/dawn/morning/noon/afternoon/twilight/dusk/night/midnight wherever you so happen to be. I won't promise these will get any better, they're meant to be dumb and short. However, keep an eye out for my other projects! -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Edited by Toa Levacius Zehvor

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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...this is seriously a much more brilliant idea than I gave it credit for originally. I thought it was going to be good, but this...this is genius. You could make a legendary(if that's even the right word for a BZP story) comedy if you keep this up. Really like the sudden scene changes too, that adds another layer to the humor.-MT

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I thank you all for your kind words.I've had this next one and 2003 prepared. This one's very short, just barely stretching over 300, but that's because I remembered the least about it, and as stated, I'm making these from memory alone. Do not worry, 2003 is much longer, seeing as it was a two part year (Bohrok Kal + Mask of Light).@MT - The jumping was done for the reason that it was a bunch of random jokes in short sequences. If it was told like the story, then I would have to think of even lamer jokes and puns to put in the spaces. Also laziness.@Larnuu - If you had the sets and wanted to do that could could go right ahead. I could never do anything like that personally though. All my parts are spread out across a few bins, I have no idea how long it would take to rebuilt just one of the sets I had, and the oldest one I have is Hahli from 2003. And I think I only have her mask left...CHAPTER 2 - 2002 in a little over 300 or so WordsOUTSIDE MANGAIATahu: To Ta-Koro!*Toa travel to Ta-Koro*Tahu: Oh no! Robots! Attack!*Toa defeat Bohrok*Turaga Vakama: You saved me! How did I get over here so fast? *Looks around* Huh. Thought I was on a beach.Tahu: What happen?Turaga Vakama: They own all our base.Tahu: What were they?Turaga Vakama: Bohrok. Quick, you must find all their Krana! Don't let them touch you! They're Japanese. Remember - gotta catch 'em all.SOMEPLACE, LATEROnua: Hey, Lewa, where are you dumbie?Krana Lewa: Roar! I am Krana possessed!Onua: No! Lewa! Oh, friend!Krana Lewa: I know all your secrets. You dated a matoran younger than you.Onua: But we've only been awake for, like, a month.Krana Lewa: I know... OH NO, ONUA, HELP ME!Onua: Okay! *Runs over and knocks Krana off*SOMEWHERE, LATERTuraga Vakama: Wait... that's not how it happened!Mata-Nui: Will you shut up and let me sleep? And fix the fourth wall?ELSWHERE, EVEN LATERTahu: Alright guys, we got all the masks! And the matoran made a machine!ONU-KORO, BEFORESome Matoran: Yay Nuparu!Nuparu: Woot! I have a name and a toy! I'm gonna be a toa!Jaller: Shut up, no you're not.Nuparu: Blast...ELSEWHERE, BACK TO EVEN LATERTahu: So now, LEGO makes even more money!Gali: Yay!Tahu: We have the Krana, lets go!*Toa travel into the caves*Lewa: We're not being attacked by an army! Yay!Gali: Oh no, walls!Toa: *Walk thorugh them*Pohatu: Pshh. Take that, physics.Onua: But they were illusions...Pohatu: Shut up.*Toa find Exo-Toa*Tahu: Hey look, conveniently placed toys for LEGO to make money on!Gali: Yay!*Toa get in Exo-Toa*Cahdok: Roar!Tahu: Attack!Cahdrok: *Retreats**Toa follow*Gahdok: Roar as well! You will suffer greatly!Gali: You have harmed Mata-Nui! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!Gahdok: No!Gali: *Attacks*Cahdok: We serve the great beings, fools!Tahu: Push them together!*Toa push the two together*Bahrag: *Become invulnerable*Tahu: That was pretty stupid, letting them UNITE.Cahdok: We serve Mata-Nui!Tahu: These suits are useless, leave them!*Toa get out of Exo-Toa*Bahraga: *Kick their butts*Tahu: Unite our powers!Toa: *Create a toa seal*Cahdok: Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Toa: *Fall through tubes, rise up out of EP as Toa Nuva*Tahu Nuva: Yay! Lets fly away, dudes!Toa Nuva: *Leave*SOMEPLACE, SHORTLY AFTERWARDSTuraga Vakama: You are truly hereos! Yay!Toa Nuva: Yay!Matoran: Yay!Makuta: *In the Mangaia* Morons...-Authors Final Note: You know, I did find it kind of silly. Makuta could do anything he wanted. The toa attack him and all he does is use shadows. It's part of his plan, he didn't want them to die. But on their part, they were pretty dumb. They didn't have much of a fight scene before he just vanished. Assuming that they beat him at all was pretty silly. I was them? Go down farther in the layer and finish him. Of course, then they would have died, or he would have died. Either way, no 2002-2011.Probably them.-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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They're Japanese. Remember - gotta catch 'em all.

This made me think of Hetalia. What is wrong with me?I laughed at most of the jokes, especially this. It's good for a 5-minuite read.

Tahu.png


 


i wanna be the very best


like no one ever was


to catch them is my real test


to train them is my cause

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Thank you to all of my readers and your kind words.Bionicle for dummies? Hmm... that might be an interesting book.CHAPTER 3 - 2003 in a lot more than 300 WordsLE-KOROLewa Nuva: Whee! I'm slow-flying! *Falls* Ono! I'm quick-falling!Matau: Oh my gosh! The Nuva Symbol was stolen!Lewa Nuva: ... I want my normal powers back.SOMEWHERETahu Nuva: Alright, lets track these attackers! *Begins tracking with other Toa Nuva*Tahnok-Kal: Fear us, Toa Nuva!Tahu Nuva: Attack! *Attacks*Bohrok-Kal: *Lay the toa out*Gahlok-Kal: Ha! You all suck! *Walks away with the others*Tahu Nuva: Lets talk to Vakama!*Toa Nuva go to Vakama*Turaga Vakama: Tahu, I haz a mask of time. Take it. Also, find the Kanohi Nuva. Remember, gotta catch em all.LATERTahu Nuva: Alright, so theres a mask in this cave. I think. *Enters*Rahi-Nuva: *Roar*Turaga Vakama: Hey ugly, run into this wall!Rahi-Nuva: *Rushes into the wall and gets stuck*Makuta: Muahahah! I am still here! And Vakama, you are weak and senile now!Tahu Nuva: I thought we killed you!Makuta: ... wait, you're really THAT much of a dumbie?AFTERWARDSTahu Nuva: We have all the masks! The Bohrok-Kal, we have deduced, want the queens back. Lets stop them!*Toa rush in*Gali Nuva: Hey look, Exo-Toa fighting the Bohrok-Kal!Gahlok-Kal: *Crushes the Exo-Toa*Lewa Nuva: Never mind.Tahu Nuva: I must stop them! *Uses Mask of Time**Time slows*Tahu Nuva: Can't... control it. Stupid faulty Legendary masks.... *Time goes back to normal*Gali Nuva: We can overload the Nuva symbols!*Toa Nuva do that; Bohrok-Kal gain powers*Lehvahk-Kal: Ooh... we have powers! *Catapults into space, leaving Nuva symbol**Other Bohrok-Kal all die in their own unique ways*Tahu Nuva: Yay, Victory!Cahdok: Darn it...FURTHER ONWARDSTuraga Vakama: We have rebuilt the matoran for naming day!*Jaller and Takua come out as rebuilt*Hahli: Wait... how long have you held out on us?Turaga Vakama: Shut up and take your new bodies. LEGO needs more money. Which is why six of you will be toa someday!(Kongu, Nuparu, Hewkii, Hahli, Matoro, and Takua raise their hands)Jaller: You guys make me so angry...TIME PASSESTakua: Ooh, a stone! *Picks it up and drops it in lava; Mask of Light appears* Ooh, a mask! *Picks it up*Jaller: Get over here rahi-brain before you're lava-bones!Takua: Ah! Lava wave! *Swims across river*Tahu Nuva: Oh no, you gonna die! *Saves Takua*Takua: Yay!Jaller: Come on, we have to play a game!LATERJaller: Lets beat those blue chicks!*Po-, Ga-, and Ta- koro teams face each other. Ga-Koro wins*Takua: Dang it, we lost to a bunch of smurfs! *Drops mask and it shines on him, then points it at Jaller*Turaga Vakama: PROHPECY!Turaga Nokama: Put him on his meds...Turaga Onewa: *Nods*AFTERJaller: I dun wanna be herald.Turaga Vakama: Ah shut your mouth. You are herald of the 7th toa. You must travel a couple miles west. It will take you a long time, for some reason. Whoose. Take Takua with you for comic relief.Takua: Darn it...IN THE JUNGLEAsh Bear: *Attacks*Jaller: I haz a knife! *Fights back*Lewa Nuva: I am a hippy in this movie! *Ties up the bear and sets it free*Jaller: You suck. Now fly us up to the mountain, leave our mount, and kill your bird.Lewa Nuva: Okay.IN THE ICY AREAJaller: Ah, frozen Bohrok!Kopaka Nuva: I am here! With really dull voice acting... that's actually fitting. *Pulls out razor*Takua: Ah! Ko-Koro was destroyed and stuff! And Rahkshi!Kopaka Nuva: Yeah, they just blew up Ta-Koro.EARLIERTahu Nuva: Dang it Gali, you led them here! And it took them about 30 seconds. It's gonna take Jaller and Takua a couple days.Gali Nuva: Not my fault their mask is a sucky guide.Rahkshi: *Attack*Tahu Nuva: *Barely fends off one and gets poisoned* Oh no! Run matoran!*Ta-Koro evacuates; so do Gali and Tahu*BACK TO PRESENTKopaka Nuva: Run! *They run**Group reaches a lake*Kopaka Nuva: Walk into the lake!Rahkshi: *Walk into the lake*Kopaka Nuva: Die. *Freezes lake*Jaller: Yay!IN THE MANGAIAMakuta: No! Now I have to make more Rahkshi. Darn, it hurts pulling worms out of yourself.IN A CAVETakua: Yay, a cave!Makuta: *Appears* BOOH!Takua: Ahh! *Faints*Makuta: Darn it...LATER, ONU-KOROTakua: Ah, Rahkshi!Rahkshi: *Attack everyone*Jaller: Lets run! *Takua and Jaller run*Onua Nuva: I'll save you all! *Gets butt kicked* Darn it.Tahu Nuva: Hulk! Smash! *Gets iced by Kopaka*SOMEWHEREGali Nuva: Lets use our magic power of healing!Lewa & Kopaka Nuva: Okay!*The three de-poison Tahu*AT KINI-NUIJaller: Holy... wow.... we made it. TO THIS LAME LOCATION!Rahkshi: *Attack*Takua: Oh no!Toa Nuva: *Appear and attack rahkshi**Rahkshi get whooped*Rahkshi: *Attacks Takua*Jaller: I'll save you! *Blocks attack and dies of fright*Takua: *Puts on mask and turns into Takanuva*Takanuva: *Finishes the Rahkshi*AFTERTakanuva: Into Mangaia! *Pilots Ussanui**Ussanui crashes into Makutas door*Hahli: *Climbs out* Hi!Takanuva: Alert the matoran to come down here to their deaths!Hahli: OKay! *Runs off with Jallers mask*Takanuva: Makuta, I'm not scared of you.Makuta: You do realize I'm, like, twelve levels higher than you, right? You don't have a high enough THAC0 to beat me.Takanuva: So what?Makuta: Well, Takanuva. I want to play game.Takanuva: ...what.Makuta: Kohlii match for your soul.Takanuva: Okay.Matoran & Toa: *Come in* Hey, what's up?Makuta: *Seals them in* Fools!Takanuva: *Woops Makuta in a sports game*Makuta: No... acutally, screw my bargain, I'M NEUTRAL EVIL MUAHAHAHA!Takanuva: GIVE ME YOUR FACE! *Jumps at Makuta; they fall into energized protodermis*Takutanuva: *Rises up* I am... big and ugly. LET US OPEN THE GATE!*The gate gets opened; everyone runs under*Takutanuva: *Stops Hahli* Wait... let me see that maskHahli: *Shows Jallers mask*Takutanuva: Then the stars were right... and this is the day. Mata-Nui give me strength. *Ressurects Jaller*Jaller: Oof... AH, GIANT! *Runs off with Hahli**Door crushes Takutanuva; his mask comes out*Vakama: *Grabs his mask* ALRIGHT, RESSURECTION TIME! JALLER, GIVE ME YOUR MASK SO I CAN RESSURECT LHIKAN!Jaller: What?Vakama: Never mind. Okay, everyone, form a circle and DON'T try to play Red Rover.*They ressurect Takanuva*Takanuva: Woot! Back from the dead!Vakama: And thus ends the legend of the Bionicle... Nah, J/K, we still have seven more years to go. -Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Well, here it is, ahead of schedule. Again, I thank you my readers for your kind commentary. Truthfully such reception was not expected. The fact that it's here makes me quite happy.CHAPTER 4 - 2004 in over the square root of 30 wordsTahu: Vakama, tell me a story.Vakama: Okay....FLASHBACK BEGINSLhikan: Oh no, Dark Hunters! *Grabs toa stones and brings them to six matoran*Vakama: *Watches Lhikan get dragged off* NO! LHIKAN!LATER ONVakama: Toa time! *He and others get transformed. Has a vision*Nokama: Oh no, Vakama is having a seizure!Vakama: No, I'm not. We need six matoran to find the Great Disks, who are all oddly connected to us somehow in a weird twist of events.Matau: You're insane.Onewa: You're stupid.Vakama: Remember... gotta catch 'em all. Huh... that works.Matau: (insert comment here)AFTEROnewa: Get down!Ahkmou: Help! Help! I'm being opressed! *Falls of the top of the sculpture*Onewa: DOCTOR!EXIT FLASHABACKTuraga Onewa: Wait... that's not how it happened.Turaga Vakama: NOW you know how I feel!Jaller: Will you two be quiet!Hahli: No Jaller, because Matoro and I know we're going to be toa!REENTER FLASHBACKVakama: Let's pair up now that we have our disk detectors and find them.Onewa: You're still stupid.Nokama: You two have to work together.Vakama: Darn it!TIME AFTERNokama: *Washes up on bridge*Huge Fish: *Jumps out onto the bridge*Vahki Team: Oh... mother of Mata-Ni *get crushed by sushi*Matau: Yay! You got the disk!TA-METRUVakama: In we go! *Toa Metru enter the great furnace*Morbuzahk: I'm actually a smart plant! I attack you!Nokama: Oh no!Nuju: Dun worry newbies, this is 3rd Edition. He has the fire subtype, he's weak to cold *uses ice*Morbuzahk: *Lays him out*Nuhrii: We need to help them. Form a peace circle.*Matoran form up*Orakahm: Through your powers combined we are... CAPTAIN PLANET! *They become the Matoran-Nui*Matoran-Nui: You are an offense to nature! Prepare to be smote! *Attacks the Morbuzah**Morbuzahk gets defeated by the Matoran-Nui and Toa*Morbuzak: Noooo! *Shrivels as great root dies and the great furnace falls apart*Toa Metru: Yay, we one! *Random matoran gets smashed behind them*AT THE COLISEUMVakama: Huh. I feel like the author just skipped something REALLY important.Nuju: Yeah newbie, like some awesome adventure where we get a couple 1000 XP. Now we're only 3rd level. We're supposed to be 4th level before going to theColiseum.Nokama: What bizzare world do you live in, Nuju?Turaga Dume: PROVE YOURSELVES! *Creates giant pillars*Pillars: *Beat the heck out of the Toa Metru*Turaga Dume: Heh! I could do that! Mostly because I'm an evil god disguised as an old man. And can fly. IMPOSTERS! SEIZE THEM!Vahki Army: *Attacks*Whirlwind: *Sucks up Nuju, Onewa, and Whenua**Other three toa escape*LATER IN A CHUTE CHUTEMatau: Ooh, we're about to leave! WIND FLY! *Crashes into Dume*Nokama: Moron.Vakama: Ooh! The great disks make a new disk!Nokama: Of course they do honey. We need to get you deep psychological help. YOU'RE A TOA NOT A MASK SMITH!*They man a Vahki transport*Vakama: KIKANALO!*They get trampled by Kikanalo*LATERKikanalo Leader: Grunt snort!Nokama: Grunt snort!Matau: THAT is disgusting.AFTERWARDSVakama: Hey, I made a Mask of Time! *Holds up the Vahi*Matau: Whee! Riding by the sunset! *Kikanalo burst into the prison wall*MEANWHILENuju: Alright, so you're some kind of mentor guy?Mysterious Stranger: Yes.Onewa: Can you teach me how to dougie?Mysterious Stranger: No.Nuju: *Breaks wall and they escape*Whenua: So do I have any lines or....?IN THE TUNNEL, AFTER THE GROUPS REUNITEVakama: Lohrahk!Mysterious Stranger: *Is being grappled*Vakama: Flee! *They take the mysterious stranger with them* Come on, Lhikan!Whenua: He's Lhikan?Onewa: Yeah, but the author skipped the big revelation.Whenua: Oh...SOMETIME LATERTuraga Dume: Matoran... go into the pods.Ahkmou: *Is being dragged in by two Vahki* NOW YOU SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!Vakama: No! We will stop you!Turaga Dume: *Takes off mask, revealing himself to be Makuta* Foolish toa, you will all perish.LhikaN: You were sworn to protect the matoran!Makuta: Look dude, I'm Lawful Evil. I AM protecting them. I'm just becoming their new king/ruler.Vakama: Hey, look, blueprints to rebuild matoran!END FLASHBACKTuraga Nokama: That's not...Turaga Vakama: Be quiet!AFTERWARDS*Toa flee with six matoran spheres*Nidihki: Attack! *He and Krekka jump their transport*Onewa: *Waves hand* You WILL jump off.Krekka: I WILL jump off. *Jumps off with Nidihki**Shadow hand grabs them up*ON THE GREAT BARRIERMakuta: You cannot beat me, Vakama.Vakama: Dude, I'm plot essential. I'm the reluctant leader. You KNOW I'm going to win. And I'm invisible! And my mentor just died to save me! You're totallyscrewed.Lhikan: I'm not dead yet! I get a cameo with the Toa Inika!Vakama: SHUT UP AND DIE!Makuta: *Pulls a pillar into himself and gets crushed into the wall*Vakama: *Pulls out small card* Toa Metru, assemble!*The toa metru come up together and use their toa seal*Makuta: No! *Gets trapped*Vakama: Yay!END FLASHBACKVakama: *wanders off*Tahu: That was lame.Turaga Nokama: Don't worry, I have more.START FLASHBACK 2IN THE PASSAGE UPMatau: Left!Squid: *Hiss!*Matau: Lol nope...SOONWARDSAFTERTIMEMavrah: Lies! Treachery!Whenua: Mavrah, please, we beg you!Onewa: How did some sad matoran beat us!Krahli: *Swing tails around*LATERMavrah: NO! My Rahi! My Krahli! *Rushes into the water*Whenua: No, Mavrah, come back!Mavrah: *Speaks into his radio* Beam me up scotty... *Vanishes into the waves*TIMEAFTERNokama: These fish make good bones... Yay, I have a trident!Matau: They look ugly. Like, Makuta ugly we're talking. MAKUTA FISH!Vakama: Land ho!*They land on Mata-Nui*Nokama: *Drinks water* Blegh! It's bitter! Tastes like H2O!END FLASHBACK 2Turaga Nokama: So the story ends that way.Tahu: Oh, thanks.Turaga Vakama: Okay, I'm back! And I found my script!Tahu: Yay!-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

Edited by Toa Levacius Zehvor

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Thank you all.In addition to the last chapter, I am including a deleted 2004 scene.DELETED SCENEIn the chute controls...Nidihki: Pull... the... control.Kongu: You do it! I'm gonna be a toa!Krekka: Grr....Kongu: Fine. *Pulls control*CHAPTER FIVE - 2005 is the Year of the BeastTahu: You know, your last story was lame, so...Turaga Vakama: Lame! How dare you! Okay then, have some excitement! *Hands him Maze of Shadows for GBA*Tahu: *Puts it in* Huh... this is easy. WTK WHERE DID THAT STRAKKIN SNAKE COME FROM! AH! DON'T TOUCH ME! GET OFF! FLEE, MATAU, FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE!MUCH LATERTahu: I finished. *Hands game back*Turaga Vakama: Just in time. Gathered friends. Listen again to the Legend... of the Bionicle.Matoro: What's a Bionicle?Hahli: We're gonna be toa!Jaller: I hate you guys. Just so much right now.Turaga Vakama: Hush, let me tell the story.ONE THOUSAND YEARS AGO...Matau: Finally, back to the city! I love Metru-Nui!Vakama: Onwards through the city!Fire Monster: Blargh!Sound Monster: Yargh!Suukhorahk: Bleck!Mutant Lohrak: Squawk!Matau: ... lol nope, this island sucks.Visorak: *Jump them*FALLING TO THEIR DEATH FROM THEIR COCOONS....Matau Hordika: Ter... min... al.. ve... lo... ci... ty!Visorak: *Falls past them and splats on the ground*Norik: Huh. They're falling at terminal velocity, and we can't fly...Gaaki: We can in the movie!Norik: ... but we can still catch them!*They rush under the toa... and as the toa die, all Rahaga are crushed by their corpses*ELSEWHEREVakama: Oh, Nokama... you're UGLY now.Matau: I hate my face.Nokama: You shouldn't be talking!Matau: *Tries to cut self* Stupid rubber swords.Vakama: No, I mean, that's gotta be like a new kind of ugly. There is never going to be a water toa that ugly.Matau: *Holds up swords* I AM DRIZZT DO'URDEN, AND HAVE FORSOOK MY HOMELAND!Norik: Alright, you too, in order to win we...Vakama: Need to collect the Rhoutaka spinners of seven types of Visorak?Norik: No.Vakama: Oh...Norik: You need to find Keetongu to reverse your transformation.Vakama: Okay.Norik: Also find the six Makoki stones to reveal the Mask of Light before the Visorak can get it.Vakama: Dang it...MUCH, MUCH LATER, AFTER GETTING THE STONES, BEFRIENDING A TAHTORAK, AND A WHOLE YEAR FULL OF STORY AFTER STORY....Vakama: Attack! *Catapult launches Tahtorahk*Sidorak: RELEASE the ZIVON!Portal: *Opens, dropping a Zivon on the Tahtorak*Nokama: Seal the tower!Sidorak: Oh shoot... *Runs away*Kahgrahk: *Tries to teleport Tahtorak*Kraaka: No! *Sacrifices herself to slam into the Zivon, knocking it into the Tahtorak, and all three vanish*Norik: Victory!THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS THE CONCLUSIONS OF BIONICLE 3: WEB OF SHADOWS, WHICH YOU CAN BUY FROM AMAZON.COM RIGHT NOW!! !! !! !! !! !!Keetongu: Roar! *Falls off wall*Vakama: Die, Matau! *Slams foot down on Matau*Matau: Noooo!!Roodaka: *Kicks Sidorak into Keetongu*Keetongu: *Beats him into a pulp*Norik: Hey guys! Turns out we CAN fly! *Cuts the ropes to free the other Rahaga*Matau: Holding on would be easier if my sword wasn't fused to my hand. Stupid movie...Vakama: Die, Roodaka! *Shoots spinner at her**Other toa do the same*Makuta: *Jumps out of prison* FREEEEEEEE DOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!Roodaka: *Vanishes*Norik: Darned escaping bad guys...*Visorak scatter*MUCH LATERMakuta: *Raises sphere from the water* Huh... *Takes Ahkmou out* You, matoran. I am your king.Ahkmou: We ain't got no king.Makuta: ... *slaps him*Ahkmou: HELP! HELP! I'M BEING OPRESSED!NEXT SUNDAY A.D.Vakama: I will break this mask!Makuta: ... okay then. Fine. Let's make a deal.Vakama: Oh, alright. So... one year of peace to lie to the Matoran just like you were going to do and a free pass to the Kumu Islets. Is this a deal?Makuta: Yes. Fine. I have to make this deal, because I'm Lawful Evil....Vakama: Cool. *Walks off with the mask*Makuta: Huh... I really need to switch my alignment next time I confront the PC's.BACK TO THE FUTURE!Turaga Vakama: And so my tale comes to a close.Tahu: Huh. So why were you mumbling those last two sets?Turaga Vakama: Plot reasons.Tahu: Oh. I couldn't hear anything.Ahkmou: *Walking around* Bring out your dead!-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Well, here's how it is - this comedy isn't my main project on BZPower; in fact, this one is at the bottom, and is merely for posting until I get my main ones up.I have not been able to post the last few days not only because BZP was down for a while - nay, that would give me time to write - but because of school. Despite merely being November, all of the teachers are rushing for the end of the semester projects. I have to write a story for health (which, as I overdo on writing assignments, will not be 3 pages, but 11 to 13. I also have to do a book report for English. No big deal? We have to do a report, do a poster for a movie for the book, and a whole bunch of other weird stuff that is weird.Geometry and Biology, mercifully, are both easy for me (not to say English is hard; it's even easier than these two, just more assignments) and have no major projects. Spanish is just a few tests, all in school. You can count on me (not) studying for them. As for JROTC, most of the weekend stuff is done, so that's when I'll be working on the next chapter.Which you can expect next Monday. I will try to make it longer than usual, and fit in most of 2006.-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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And when I said longer than normal I meant the exact same size, of course.Been out dragon hunting.CHAPTER 6 - 2006 IN 500 WORDSMETRU-NUI...Turaga Dume: My friends... we have a major issue. Mata-Nui has cancer.Tahu Nuva: What!Turaga Nuju: Click clak took.Turaga Dume: As Nuju just said, this is true. And only the Mask of Life can save him. So you six Toa Nuva are going to be stuffed into stasis pods and shot up into Voya-Nui, which our mystical knowledge of everything has identified to be south of the island Mata-Nui - above the ground.Tahu Nua: Wow...Matoro: I'm so gonna be a toa.VOYA-NUI...Balta: Hey, look guys, Skakdi!Vezok: No, we're not Skakdi, we're Toa.Balta: Oh. Then why are you so ugly? And why is the green guy the leader? And why is your water toa a dude?Zaktann: *Holds out hands* Aliens.Garann: Oh.Hakann: Now empty that volcano!LATER...Zaktann: Alright, we've enslaved all the matoran, save six, Brutaka is addicted to my modified drugs, and...Tahu Nuva: Attack! *Starts beating the crud out of the Piraka*Hakann: Lolz! *Attacks back, and with the others they crush the Toa Nuva into nothing*Balta: Lolz no! We must free the toa!KARZAHNI...Jaller: Huh. So this is what Karzahni looks like!Other Matoran: We're gonna be toa!Jaller: *Slaps Hewkii* You five shut up!Manas: *Swarm them*Hahli: WTK there are only two Manas!Karzahni: Hey, don't use my name in vain! And that's only in the books, so shut up!Jaller: Run! *They run, but get caught*Karzahni: You six will tell me of the outside world.Hahli: Okay, so Mata-Nui is dying, and when he does, a giant rift will open and everything in the universe will be sucked up by Cthulu.Karzahni: Oh. Gimme yer masks and take these. *Replaces their masks*Lhikkans Mask: Darn it, now NOBODY is wearing me! I deserve better than this!Jaller: RUN! *They manage to escape through toa pods*VOYA-NUI...Balta: Attack! *The matoran attack the Piraka and free the toa to attack the Piraka, but Brutaka lays them out*Hakann: Do red stars usually shoot lightning...Six Toa Pods: *Wash up and get hit by the red lightning*Jaller Inika: *Steps out, and looks down* ... mother strakker.Hahli Inika: *Steps out* IN! YOUR! FACE!LATER...Vezok: Arggh! *Attacks them*Toa Inika: *Beat him within an inch of his life*Vezok: Lol nope! *Flees*AFTERWARDS...Zaktann: My... precious... *Stares at vat of Antidermis*Toa Inika: *Burst in* ATTACK!Avak: *Creates cage on Kongu*Kongu: *Does the macareana and breaks out, kicking Avak*Hakann: Alright... lets get some power up! *Shoots energy draining sphere at Brutaka*Thok: *Grabs onto Hakann* Don't you dare you blasted Piraka!Hakann and Thok: *Go berserk and start fighting everyone*Matoro Inika: Forget physics! *Blasts lightning laced ice at Hakann**Everyone joins in and they beat the crud out of the two until a giant explosion occurs*DOWN BELOW...Irnakk: I... am fear.Zaktann: No, Irnakk, THIS is fear. *Holds up a picture*Irnakk: OH GOSH! *Vanishes*Vezok: What WAS that.Zaktann: Sorry dude, but thse internet sites should never be mentioned on BZPower.Reidak: What's a BZPower?ELSEWHERELhikan: Sup bros! I'm here for my cameo!Jaller Inika: Lhikan!Lhikan: SUp. Turn back, dudes, or you're gonna die.Hahli Inika: Huh. Never pictured you like this.Lhikan: Like, bro, I surf around on a giant sky surfboard, I'm totally gnarly like this *Grabs surfboard and rides away*IN A HOLE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE VOLCANOZaktann: Oh my gosh VEZON!?Vezon: Oh hi guys!Reidak: What are you doing here?Vezon: Beating you *Fuses Reidak and Vezok*Piraka Fusion: *Tears others apart*Vezon: Boring. *Defuses the pair*Toa Inika: *Barge in* For Metru-Nui!Vezon: *Engages in epic fight with them and falls into the lava with his spider*Jaller Inika: No! The mask! *Lunges for it*Mask: *Rises up - with Vezons head - and Vezon - on a dragon*Kardas: I'MA FIRIN my LAZER! *Blasts them bacK*Vezon: You will all die!Jaller Inika: Lol nope. *Pulls out a sphere from Axxon* WE'VE GOT A MAGUFFIN!Vezon: *Gets beat and the mask taken*Piraka: *Wake up and attack*Mask: *Goes flying away*Toa Inika: *Run out*Giant Riddle; *Appears in blazing letters up the stairs*Mask: *Dives into a hole at the bottom of the sea*AFTERWARDSAxonn: Two things - first, tell the author to spell my name right every time. Second, get the mask.Toa Inika: Let's go down the giant crystal tube!Axxon: Okay, get to it.Toa INika: *Leave*Tahu Nuva: *COme over* Can't beleive those amateurs are better than us.Axonn: Only against Piraka. You guys get to fight MAKUTA!Tahu NUva: WHAT!?Axxon: Sorry, spoilers.-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Vezok: Arggh! *Attacks them*Toa Inika: *Beat him within an inch of his life*Vezok: Lol nope! *Flees*

Nope. Vezok Testa.

Matoro Inika: Forget physics! *Blasts lightning laced ice at Hakann*

Just wait until Hahli shoots lightning laced water without being electrocuted.

Zaktann: Oh my gosh VEZON!?Vezon: Oh hi guys!Reidak: What are you doing here?Vezon: Beating you *Fuses Reidak and Vezok*Piraka Fusion: *Tears others apart*Vezon: Boring. *Defuses the pair*Toa Inika: *Barge in* For Metru-Nui!Vezon: *Engages in epic fight with them and falls into the lava with his spider*Jaller Inika: No! The mask! *Lunges for it*Mask: *Rises up - with Vezons head - and Vezon - on a dragon*Kardas: I'MA FIRIN my LAZER! *Blasts them bacK*Vezon: You will all die!Jaller Inika: Lol nope. *Pulls out a sphere from Axxon* WE'VE GOT A MAGUFFIN!Vezon: *Gets beat and the mask taken*Piraka: *Wake up and attack*Mask: *Goes flying away*Toa Inika: *Run out*Giant Riddle; *Appears in blazing letters up the stairs*Mask: *Dives into a hole at the bottom of the sea*

That was actually a fairly accurate description.Good job once again Lev. This one really made me laugh.-MT

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