Saviant Feedback Thread

[myst33ry]

Well, hello there.

 

My name is en_1gma, and this is my entry for the Battle for the Gold Mask.

 

I made this thread for two reasons - to acquire feedback for my entry, and to not have my entry post be a page long.

 

Anyways, my entry's name is Saviant.

 

Gallery: http://www.brickshel...ry.cgi?f=550084

 

I'll start off with his story.

 

Saviant is an enigmatic (pun intended) being that was created from (2015) Makuta's Mask of Ultimate Power.

 

After being launched, the MOUP took a hard fall somewhere in Okoto, and that hard fall left a crack in the MOUP. The mask was very unstable, very powerful, and contained all elements - so, from the crack, it began to leak out raw, golden power. The raw power took weeks to form Saviant - a gigantic being, and was formed from those same elements. However, before the power completed Saviant, his head - his mind as well - was made. Saviant now had a mind of his own, and he left in search of land to conquer, but he left before the power could complete him. Having his mind composed of Shadow, he had a desire for destruction among the land.

 

A few days before the Lord of Skull Spiders found the Mask of Ultimate Power, the mask - having a mind itself, similar to the Ignika - started to heal the crack in itself.

 

The Toa must be ready to face Saviant; for he is a deadly force to be reckoned with. He has a strong resistance to each element, except for the Legendary Elements - Time, Life, and Creation. Saviant's weak spot is in his chest, as his chest is the most incomplete of all of his body.

 

Alright, that's the end of his story. I feel like I had more to type, but oh well.

 

On to his model!

 

Left shoulder - Ice - Color(s): White

I started here. I had to later make heavy upgrades to it because I had thought it was too small.

 

Left forearm - Sonics - Color(s): Black, Gray

I continued on Sonics with the intent of it looking like a stereo - after all, Sonics is sound.

 

Left hand - Psionics - Color(s): Dark Blue, Gold

I figured I'd make Psionics the hand because Psionics is basically psychokinesis, so Saviant can have psychic powers.

 

Right shoulder - Stone - Colors(s): Brown

I'm pretty proud of the Stone part. I did way better on it than I expected I would.

 

Right forearm - Plasma - Colors(s): Orange, White

I had to scrap what I had when I started on Plasma, as I thought it was too... bland.

 

Right hand - Iron - Colors(s): Burnt Orange, Black

I didn't really know what color would be Burnt Orange, so I just used Bright Light Orange.

 

Left thigh - Water - Colors(s): Blue

SO MANY MASKS!

 

Left shin - Magnetism - Color(s): Black, Light Gray

I tried to make it look like a big hunk of metal stuck to a magnet. I think I did pretty good.

 

Left foot - The Green/Jungle - Colors(s): Green, Blue

I didn't have many Dark Blue liftarms, so I mixed some black in there. I thought three colors would look weird, but it looks pretty good.

 

Right thigh - Earth - Color(s): Black

I added some pieces of Stronius to give Earth a rocky feel. Worked, huh?

 

Right shin - Gravity - Color(s): Black, Purple

I decided to compose Gravity completely out of liftarms only - to represent how Gravity is always straight. It is never unstable, only in space, but they're inside a giant robot, on an even more giant planet. I only have a few purple Bionicle pieces, so this was slightly a challenge.

 

Right foot - Electricity/Lightning - Color(s): Blue, White

Not much to say here, except that I'm happy with the result.

 

Left torso side - Air - Color(s): Green or Dark Green

I didn't have any Dark Green liftarms (besides from Nidhiki, but there are not many in him), so I decided to use Dark Bluish Gray liftarms, because Dark Bluish Gray is in almost every Air set. Look at Kongu. Now look at Kongu Mahri. Now, look at Lewa Phantoka.

 

Right torso side - Fire - Color(s): Red

Not much to say here as well.

 

Head - Shadow - Color(s): Black, Dark Red

Very happy with the end result! I added the black Hero Factory Brain to indicate rarity. Also, I kind of think he looks like Shadow the Hedgehog. Didn't made it like that, but it came out like it.

 

Done!

I don't want to be judged upon my rank. I don't want to lose or be overlooked because I'm not a premier member, or I just joined, or I don't have a signature. I want to be judged upon my build. I've known about BZP for a long time. I am a true fan, I have a big collection, I have a vast knowledge of the story, and I put as much effort as I could into this. I worked about 20 days straight on this. My determination is strong, or at least I think so.

Honestly? I don't care if I win that golden mask or not. When I first started on this project, which I entitled Project Saviant, I had told myself that I will win. But, while I was working on it, I began to think that who cares if I don't win it? That would mean that some other big fan and amazing MOCist would get that awesome mask. And I would be happy for them. So, that was what really drove me to build this. I was also applauded by my family for my incredible attitude.[/font][/color]

I apologize that my hand is in the way of the Ice shoulder, I didn't realize I had my hand there when the picture was taken. An uncovered picture of the Ice shoulder is in the gallery. I also apologize that I didn't provide a solid color background, it was far too big to have one.

I just would like to say thank you to my friends of Instagram for helping/supporting me through this long journey.

Those people would be -

hail_acheron, bionicle_mech, samdoesmocs, ihoffbro, toa_kratz, and bionicleretold

I highly suggest you go follow them! Sorry if this defies the rules of staying on topic, but these people are true friends to me and they helped me through this. I thought I'd mention them in thanks for their support.

 

FAQ:

 

Q: It looks incomplete. Why is that?

A: It looks incomplete not because it is incomplete, but because it was made to look incomplete. If you are wondering why it was made to look like that, please read the story.

 

Q: Why did you have to hold it?

A: Pretty self-explanatory. It was far too heavy to hold itself up. I also did have a time constraint, so I was not able to add functioning pistons to hold him up.

 

Q: Did you create him yourself?

A: Yes, of course I did. I would not be posting him if not.

 

Q: Hey! The cloth on his head is not LEGO!

A: Yes, it is. It comes with the Vezon & Fenrakk set.

 

Q: Why are some parts detailed and some parts not?

A: That is because Saviant is both physically and mentally unstable. For example, he is very indecisive about what he wants to do.

 

Q: I noticed that the left side of Saviant are the colors of Wairuha, and the right side of Akamai. Did you do this purposely?

A: Actually, I did not. I had only realized that I had done so when I was close to finishing. If you really, really know a lot about Bionicle, you'll also notice that the forearms and shins are the elements of their respective Bohrok-Kal. The feet apply for the torso.

 

Q: You must of planned for the torso to have the colors of the Kaita masks. Tell me, did you?

A: Again, I did not! I promise. I was very indecisive about the elements of the torso, and after I decided, I realized that.

 

 

Thank you for actually reading this. I wish the best of luck to all the other participants. Feedback, both negative and positive, is highly appreciated! :]

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Chro]

You definitely nailed the incomplete look you were going for. Good job making your story and your MOC fit together well. I actually like the concept of something that "woke up", if you will, during its own creation, and ended up unfinished.

I don't quite see what you mean about Shadow the Hedgehog.

[BrickPharaoh]

This makes for a decent storyline-esque creation; however, it is quite obvious that the main focus of the reboot is to reintroduce playability to the new building style. Also, for this particular contest it is somewhat obvious that the story you provide for your chatracter plays little, if any, effect over how the character is percieved by people. Imagine going out to buy a toy that doesn't even stand up on its own, a toy that is essentially an action figure that cannot perform any "action" whatsoever. I'm sorry if what I said sounded a bit rude, it is completely unintentional, but I think you have put a lot of effort into making the individual modules and giving a shot to combining them together. I'd try my hand at something more orthodox next if I were you. Anyways, best of luck, and please do not take my words personally. I was trying to offer constructive criticism and don't mean to offend you at all. I'll shut up now XD

 

[myst33ry]

This makes for a decent storyline-esque creation; however, it is quite obvious that the main focus of the reboot is to reintroduce playability to the new building style. Also, for this particular contest it is somewhat obvious that the story you provide for your chatracter plays little, if any, effect over how the character is percieved by people. Imagine going out to buy a toy that doesn't even stand up on its own, a toy that is essentially an action figure that cannot perform any "action" whatsoever. I'm sorry if what I said sounded a bit rude, it is completely unintentional, but I think you have put a lot of effort into making the individual modules and giving a shot to combining them together. I'd try my hand at something more orthodox next if I were you. Anyways, best of luck, and please do not take my words personally. I was trying to offer constructive criticism and don't mean to offend you at all. I'll shut up now XD

I perfectly see what you mean. However, I hadn't been aiming for playability, but rather design. Something this big wouldn't be able to be played with at all. It does have articulation, in the normal spots, knees, elbows etc. I also had a very little time frame to finish this, so I had to make some compromises, as this was taken about thirty minutes before we left for the airport for vacation. So, I had no time to put in pistons to hold stuff up. And, sadly, I won't get back until after the contest ends.

 

If it were to become a toy/set (which I highly doubt will happen), I would add more support and make it smaller.

 

Like I said, I can totally see what you mean. I just wasn't aiming for the playing side. I do appreciate your feedback though, thank you! :]

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Steve the Squid]

Something this big could be playable with the right design and enough support. If you had made it smaller and focused more on the support structure of the moc first, I don't think it's a stretch that you could have made it work in the time allowed. (Unless you don't have enough technic to complete a structure, which would be understandable, but at that point it really should just be smaller). I also think it would look 97% better if it wasn't missing 97% of its torso, as the torso is typically one of the most important and diverse parts of a moc. I feel like you made the story to explain the heavy compromises you made in the moc, and not the other way around.

(Also, your entry comment was a bit overdone; the judges already know that they should be focusing on the moc itself, not the member. Also, knowledge of the sets and size of your collection should be anything BUT factors in how well you do in the contest. All entries should be judged equally.)

Edited November 26, 2014 by Steve the Squid

[Regitnui]

Ultimate Dume was maligned for being skeletal, and that could stand up by itself. Very creative, but this is a Top Gear mod.

[myst33ry]

Ultimate Dume was maligned for being skeletal, and that could stand up by itself. Very creative, but this is a Top Gear mod.

Ultimate Dume is about half the size of this. Also, what do you mean by "Top Gear mod"?

Something this big could be playable with the right design and enough support. If you had made it smaller and focused more on the support structure of the moc first, I don't think it's a stretch that you could have made it work in the time allowed. (Unless you don't have enough technic to complete a structure, which would be understandable, but at that point it really should just be smaller). I also think it would look 97% better if it wasn't missing 97% of its torso, as the torso is typically one of the most important and diverse parts of a moc. I feel like you made the story to explain the heavy compromises you made in the moc, and not the other way around.

(Also, your entry comment was a bit overdone; the judges already know that they should be focusing on the moc itself, not the member. Also, knowledge of the sets and size of your collection should be anything BUT factors in how well you do in the contest. All entries should be judged equally.)

Your point is very valid! I agree with everything you said. But, the thing is, I was focusing on looks/design, rather than playability. In the end, when I had photographed it, I honestly thought it would stand up by itself, but it didn't, and I didn't have time to add a bunch of supporters or pistons. Yes, I did make some compromises in the MOC because I was getting close to my deadline, and I didn't have much time left, so I worked fast. But, it's not as if the LEGO Group will request me to ship Saviant to them. And, this is my biggest MOC yet (but definitely not my first) so I may be a little inexperienced. Aso, this is my first time entering a contest (a LEGO contest, anyway) so it won't be perfect. But again, thank you for your feedback! I honestly can't change anything now (obviously).

Edited November 26, 2014 by en_1gma

[Regitnui]

This MoC is more skeletal than Ultimate Dume, was my first point, and while you were aiming high, being ambitious, you fell short of what your blurb (back story) promised. You say you had limited time: why not instead build a more manageable, smaller MoC that would be stable and playable in its current state, rather than go for something massive you couldn't finish?

[myst33ry]

This MoC is more skeletal than Ultimate Dume, was my first point, and while you were aiming high, being ambitious, you fell short of what your blurb (back story) promised. You say you had limited time: why not instead build a more manageable, smaller MoC that would be stable and playable in its current state, rather than go for something massive you couldn't finish?

Hmm... You're right, aren't you? I honestly don't know. I followed the quote "build the biggest, baddest villain you can think of!" from the announcement. I truly don't know, I wanted to make something that would stand high and be massive, but, apparently, I failed. I've had a lot of stress with this (although you probably don't care and it doesn't matter). I was trying to make it skeletal in some parts and bulky in others, as if it's armor was ripped off. But as to your question, the answer would be that I was following the quote.

 

It IS finished, the story states he rebelled before he was entirely complete; thus making his torso unfinished in terms of the story, not in terms of the model itself.

 

Also, how did I fall short of my story?

 

Hope this doesn't come across as rude in any way, I'm simply responding. Ty for feedback, again. :]

You definitely nailed the incomplete look you were going for. Good job making your story and your MOC fit together well. I actually like the concept of something that "woke up", if you will, during its own creation, and ended up unfinished.

I don't quite see what you mean about Shadow the Hedgehog.

Thank you! Woke up could be the right term, I guess. It sounds cool, anyway.

 

And about the Shadow the Hedgehog thing: I had meant to provide close ups of the head itself but I (oops!) forgot to.

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Chro]

Also, how did I fall short of my story?

You said that it was an incomplete being, and an incomplete MOC to match; but as SteveTheSquid said, it looks like an incomplete MOC with a backstory to explain why it looks that way.

[myst33ry]

 

Also, how did I fall short of my story?

 

You said that it was an incomplete being, and an incomplete MOC to match; but as SteveTheSquid said, it looks like an incomplete MOC with a backstory to explain why it looks that way.

Oh. Well, err.. I don't know. Yes, I did modify the story to accompany the lack of design, but that was because my time was running short. Does that make a bad story and a bad MOC? I honestly, myself, think it looks pretty cool, but that's my opinion. Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Regitnui]

Honestly, if I had had your (admittedly awesome) idea, I'd have made the limbs and head solid, but left a great gaping hole in the torso. Like using the Phantoka Makuta torso piece and building off that. The creature as is looks dangerously thin and brittle rather than powerful and threatening.

 

I look forward to seeing that when you've put a bit more time into him, but he seems unfinished and unpolished right now.

[myst33ry]

There's honestly nothing I can do at this point, I've already entered it and I get back from vacation after the contest ends.

 

If there was a gaping hole in the middle, it would have looked like it had been shot instead of unfinished.

 

And, for the second time, he seems unfinished and unpolished because he is, storywise, unfinished and unpolished. He seems thin and brittle because he is thin and brittle.

 

Thank you for your constructive criticism, though.

Edited November 27, 2014 by en_1gma

[bioniclepluslotr]

All the recognizable body parts and heads on his limbs remind me of those Dead Space things

[myst33ry]

(Also, your entry comment was a bit overdone; the judges already know that they should be focusing on the moc itself, not the member. Also, knowledge of the sets and size of your collection should be anything BUT factors in how well you do in the contest. All entries should be judged equally.)

I was implying that they wouldn't give it out to just anybody, but a true fan and a true collector.

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Regitnui]

If a complete newbie builds the beat MoC, then the prize will go to them. And what is a 'true fan'? True collector I get, and that is quantifiable.

[The Meta Knight]

I know this isn't necessarily about the MOC, but just know that the judges (and everyone else) won't judge you based on premier membership, or even how long you've been on BZP. You're just as welcome as anybody else to join the contest.

 

As for the MOC, I think it looks wonderful. This is certainly one of the more noteworthy of the entries thus far. The use of all the different elemental colors works with this MOC, especially because of it's immense size. I think it's well worth the time you put into it, regardless of whether or not it wins.

[myst33ry]

I know this isn't necessarily about the MOC, but just know that the judges (and everyone else) won't judge you based on premier membership, or even how long you've been on BZP. You're just as welcome as anybody else to join the contest.

 

As for the MOC, I think it looks wonderful. This is certainly one of the more noteworthy of the entries thus far. The use of all the different elemental colors works with this MOC, especially because of it's immense size. I think it's well worth the time you put into it, regardless of whether or not it wins.

Thank you! :] Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[myst33ry]

Regitnui, I was saying that although the best MOC will win, they won't give the mask out to someone who was just lazy and didn't build much of their MOC. They will give it to someone who worked hard, and someone who really, really wants it.

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Tufi Piyufi]

Both double-posting and bumping topics are against the BBC Forum Rules. Please, read those before you post again in BBC.

[myst33ry]

Both double-posting and bumping topics are against the BBC Forum Rules. Please, read those before you post again in BBC.

I do apologize, I come from a forum where bumping is always allowed. Apparently, they don't use the same system (I thought they did).

 

Thank you all for the posts. When I get home from vacation, I may work on it some more and finish it up (even though it's already entered).

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Regitnui]

Regitnui, I was saying that although the best MOC will win, they won't give the mask out to someone who was just lazy and didn't build much of their MOC. They will give it to someone who worked hard, and someone who really, really wants it.

OK, how would someone not build all of their MoC before submitting it? *cough* And everyone who entered has both worked hard on their MoC and really wants the Golden Mask. Myself included. Though I'd be very happy with any prize, especially since I get to keep my MoC if I win.

[myst33ry]

 

Regitnui, I was saying that although the best MOC will win, they won't give the mask out to someone who was just lazy and didn't build much of their MOC. They will give it to someone who worked hard, and someone who really, really wants it.

OK, how would someone not build all of their MoC before submitting it? *cough* And everyone who entered has both worked hard on their MoC and really wants the Golden Mask. Myself included. Though I'd be very happy with any prize, especially since I get to keep my MoC if I win.

Because you don't know the mindset of everyone. They may just think "oh my MOC is stupid I'm never gonna win" and think negative. If they think negative, it usually affects their building. (I speak from experience.)

 

And if the *cough* is referring to me, I assure you for the last time Saviant is complete. I've told you twice.

Edited December 2, 2014 by en_1gma

[Chro]

No matter the mindset of the builder, the best MOC wins.

I could pour weeks of time and effort into something poorly built, and end up being trounced by a guy who tossed together a fantastic entry in his spare time.

[myst33ry]

No matter the mindset of the builder, the best MOC wins.

I could pour weeks of time and effort into something poorly built, and end up being trounced by a guy who tossed together a fantastic entry in his spare time.

Yeah, that's what I'm kind of worried about... But hey, whoever wins, wins, right?

Edited December 14, 2014 by en_1gma