Vakama's time - Pilot story

[Nik the Three]

This is a pilot story. I want to make longer story later, but I want to make short version first, to see your reactions and suggestions. Sorry for grammar mistakes, I write stories only in czech, which I am really good in, but I don't know, if english will end so well...

Setup: My story extends from moment when Vakama have created Kanohi Vahi - Mask of time. It shows, what could happen then.

 

Vakama's Time

 

Wave of protodermis hit the ship. "So what is your plan?" screamed Whenua on Vakama "Plan? Who needs plan?" replied Vakama "I hope you know what are you doing!" said Nuju. Me too, thought Vakama. Ship finally reached Teridax's island. "Stay here!" said Vakama. "No way!" said Whenua immediately, "We go with you!" "Who will save matorans then?" argued Vakama. "Vakama is right," Nuju said, "we don't have much time!" Vakama jumped out of ship.

 

He used his Huna to become invisible and ran to the center of island. There was a large column of shadow, caused by Makuta. When he came, he hid behind a large stone and saw Teridax's back. "I was waiting for you Vakama" he said with darkness in his voice, "but I wasn't sure if you come. Unfortunatly, you are the one who holds the great mask of time." Vakama looked on Vahi in his left hand. He loaded his kanoka launcher. "Do you think that one silly Kanoka disc can end this all?" laughted Teridax. He flew high and landed behind Vakama's back. "I know what do you think of right now Vakama," said Teridax, "Huna was always my favorite mask. Do you know why? Some thought that Huna will hide them from my sight. Huna however don't hide your shadow. And I am the master of shadows!" he started to laugh. Vakama took Vahi and put it on.

 

Vakama ran to center of the island. He saw shadow of first Vakama behind stone. I wasn't sure if you come, he heard in distance. He hid behind another stone. When Teridax landed next to first Vakama, he took a little stone and throwed him in distance. "You brought your friends!" laughed Teridax, "how sweet!" Both Vakama's put on their Vahi's.

 

When first Vakama jumped of ship, third Vakama activated Huna and quietly hopped on. He get back to Metru with other Toa, without being seen. He get to his workshop and created what he tried only few times, before he became mask maker - a sword. He used his elemental powers to make it more powerful and put it into lava. He made his first sword. Most powerful in whole Metru. He took his Vahi and put it on.

 

Vakama used Huna and jumped on ship. "So what is your plan?" screamed Whenua. "Plan? Who needs plan?" replied first Vakama. When he was jumping of ship, he nearly hit third Vakama, but he avoided him. He ran to center of the island. He was running 50 metres behind second Vakama. When both Vakama's disappeared, Teridax was very confused. Even darkness column was weaker than before. He came to Teridax's back preparing his elemental sword, but suddenly he turned and shouted: "Here you are! You cannot escape me now!" Teridax grabed Vakama's shoulders with his red eyes turning into darkest black. Black fog came out of his mouth. Another Vakama has appeared right behind Teridax with sword prepared. He stabbed his sword right between Teridax's wings. "AAAAAH!!!" screamed Teridax. Magma was flowing from place where sword penetrated Teridax's skin. It came out even from his eyes. Dark column in center of island has disappeared. "Thank you," said Vakama, which nearly died. "You welcome," said Vakama, which killed Teridax, "I bet you know what you have to do now." Vakama nodded and put his Vahi on.

 

The End

 

I hope it was at least little bit mind freaking and you didn't get lost in this story, because at some point it started to be confusing even for myself! Share your thoughts and please, tell me if it was interesting for you or if it was boring.

Note: I know it created paradox on end, because if Vakama was killed, how could he travel in time to save himself? I'll explain that in another story.

Edited December 5, 2014 by Nik333