Hitman XIV: Murder Simulator

[Voxumo]

Uh... I thought I was dead.

Plot Twist, it was really your nice twin that was killed.

[ShadowVezon]

You are. I'll fix the first post. Don't know why I overlooked your death.

[Axilus Prime]

Argh.

 

Kopekemaster must pay for making me commit suicide last game.

[Kopekemaster]

Not many people know this, but Neo ShadowVezon has also worked a suicide mechanism into this game; it is triggered by attempting revenge.

[ShadowVezon]

Oh no, people are encouraged to get revenge on you. If I were allowed, I'd have made sure you died on the first night.

 

I wouldn't worry though. You won't survive the second.

Edited December 20, 2014 by Neo ShadowVezon

[Kopekemaster]

Eh heh. Well, I guess I'll take my fate head-on, then.

[ShadowVezon]

Night 2

Axilus Prime climbed up onto the rooftops, accompanied by JAG18. The two Hunters had called a truce for the night, so they could work together to take down their shared enemy. They knew where he was going, having been tipped off by a robed figure who had also supplied them with highly advanced technology and weaponry.

They didn't know who their helper was, under the hood he appeared to be wearing face-paint, but they assumed that he was helping them because he wanted their enemy dead as much as they did. The entire assassination had been planned out by the three of them, and the robed man promised that a getaway vehicle would be parked outside ready for their exit. They were confident that nothing would go wrong, and they would pull off the killing cleanly.

The pair made it onto the roof, moved into position, and waited...

 

Below on the streets, iBrow walked into a bar. He ordered Eggnog, making sure to specify that he wanted two glasses. He kept one in front of him, slipping a small drug inside it, and drank from the other. Unnoticed, Kopekemaster slipped into the bar. He had been informed that iBrow would be stopping at this bar tonight, and had come prepared. "PIZZA DELIVERY!" Kopekemaster shouted, drawing the attention of everyone in the bar. He threw a Pizza at iBrow, who simply ducked. The Pizza flew harmlessly over iBrow's head, splatting on the wall behind him.

 

On the roof above the bar, Axilus Prime, who had been waiting for Kopekemaster to reveal himself, gave the agreed signal to JAG18. JAG18 nodded, and pulled the detonator.

 

The roof above iBrow exploded, and Axilus jumped down, followed by JAG18. Axilus shouted at Kopekemaster "This is for cooking me in a stew!" before firing at the cannibal advocate with his Covenant Carbine that the hooded man supplied him. Kopekemaster had been leaping for a table and so barely managed to dodge the bullets, but JAG18 ended it with a Molotov Cocktail that had also been supplied to him, incinerating Kopekemaster and setting the bar ablaze. "That was for leaving me for dead." JAG muttered, before running for it. Axilus turned to run as well, but iBrow burst from the rubble and forced the Transformer to drink the poisoned eggnog, which was meant to force Axilus to choke up every single bit of blood in his body. However, iBrow didn't know that Axilus had also been given an antidote, which meant the poison had no effect. Axilus kicked Voltex in the head, and ran off. iBrow started to climb out of the rubble, but Voxumo slowly walked up to him, icepick in hand. iBrow's eyes widened in fear, before Voxumo lodged the Icepick in Voltex's head. Voxumo pulled the Icepick out of iBrow's head, until a flaming piece of rubble reminded him that he should probably be leaving.

 

JAG18 and Axilus ran out of the burning bar, and the getaway car was there as promised. However, before they could get in, Burnmad leapt at Axilus, armed with a poisoned blade. Axilus dodged the lunge, but Burnmad managed to slice into Axilus's gun, breaking it. The Toa of Fire got up and attempted to stab Axilus, but the Transformer kicked the knife out of Burnmad's hand. The Toa thought about trying to outfight Axilus hand-to-hand, but JAG18 managed to start the getaway car, and the Toa decided to cut his losses and get out of there.The two Hunters drove out of there, before Voxumo could try and attack one of them.

Results in Chronological Order:

iBrow Failed to Kill Axilus with Poisoned Eggnog

Voxumo Killed iBrow with an Icepick to the Skull (Sword)

Kopekemaster Would have Killed iBrow with a Pizza (Disk)

JAG18 Killed Kopekemaster with a Molotov Cocktail (Explosive)

Burnmad Failed to Kill Axilus with a Poisoned Blade

Axilus Would have Failed to Kill Kopekemaster with a Covenant Carbine (Gun)

 

I'm glad someone managed to kill Kopekemaster. I'm sure you can all guess who the robed man is, it's not like I'm subtle.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Neo ShadowVezon

[Voltex]

booo i died to the same lame weapon that killed chro

boring

[ShadowVezon]

If it's any consolation, you almost got killed by a Pizza of all things. By the way, notice how the Disks have always got "Would have Killed" results? There's a reason.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Neo ShadowVezon

[Voltex]

If it's any consolation, you almost got killed by a Pizza.

 

that would have been worse

 

i love pizza

[ShadowVezon]

...well, you had a ceiling smashed onto you. That's something.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Neo ShadowVezon

[Voxumo]

*Sharpens Icepick*

It may be a lame weapon, but it is effective is it not?

[ShadowVezon]

Well, the next Night shall certainly be an interesting one. Just waiting on Axilus now.

Edited December 22, 2014 by Neo ShadowVezon

[Kopekemaster]

Heh heh heh... That was a totally RIGHTEOUS way to die, I must say.

[Axilus Prime]

Sorry I took a while. Kill sent in.

[Voxumo]

I'm going to be 100% honest right now... I'm kinda of like super, amazingly, don't feel this way for much often, excited for this next scene. Like saying I was on the edge of my seat would be an understatement.

Edited December 23, 2014 by Voxumo

[ShadowVezon]

I can tell you that only one person shall die tonight. Regardless, it shall be interesting. It also shouldn't be too complicated to write, as the scene revolves around one particular person.

 

I'll find a way to write a bar into the scene, don't worry.

[Voxumo]

Oh *grips seat* I really hope what i'm imagine right now occurs with what you've provided thus far

[ShadowVezon]

Night 3

JAG had planned with Axilus again tonight. Their benefactor had managed to get them a spaceship, which they guessed had been somehow hacked into the network. They assumed that their helper must be a hacker to get all the resources he did, and simply wondered how he had escaped The Shadowed One's notice.

 

They filled up their new ship with several tons of explosives, got inside, and started it. However, mid-flight, Axilus saw the glint of steel behind him. He turned just in time to dodge the Halberd that JAG18 thrust at him. JAG18 pulled the Halberd out of the controls and tried again, but once again Axilus managed to dodge it. The Transformer grabbed JAG18's arm and twisted it, forcing the Hunter to drop his weapon. As the target building approached, Axilus scrambled onto the ejector seat and activated it, launching himself safely out of the ship. JAG18 managed to parachute his way out just in time, before the ship crashed.

 

Meanwhile, Burnmad was having a drink of Eggnog in a bar. He had taken a gun with him, as he expected someone to attack him. What he hadn't expected, however, was a spaceship to smash through the wall behind him and explode, blowing the room apart.

 

Axilus landed a few blocks away, and climbed up out of the chair. He started moving towards the devastated bar, to ensure Burnmad's death. He made it when suddenly Voxumo jumped him, and Axilus only barely managed to avoid Voxumo's Scythe piercing his skull. However, Voxumo was scared off by gunshots as Burnmad crawled from the wreckage, scorched and badly injured. He raised his gun towards Axilus when the ceiling collapsed on him, crushing him. After three attempts on his life, Axilus decided that it might be a good idea to leave, before a fourth could occur.

 

Chronological Results:

Voxumo Failed to Kill Axilus

Burnmad Failed to Kill Axilus

JAG18 Failed to Kill Axilus

Axilus Killed Burnmad

 

Notes:

Yes, nobody managed to kill Axilus. Voxumo got close, though.

[shadow pridak money gang]

hahahahahaha

 

-Tyler

[Voxumo]

Oh wow... We all wanted axilus dead.

[Axilus Prime]

Holy slag, first time I've seen that happen. Well then.

[ShadowVezon]

Everyone has sent their targets in.

 

It ends tonight. Or tomorrow. Whenever I have time to write the scene.

[Voxumo]

"When darkness turns to light

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right

It's too late to fight

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight."

 

It had better end tonight, or else this post will look incredibly foolish.

[ShadowVezon]

Unfortunately, it won't end "tonight", as I don't have time to write the scene right now. I can't do it tomorrow either, it being Christmas Day and all, so it'll actually end Friday on Boxing Day. Hopefully, anyway.

[Voxumo]

If I end up breaking a chair from sitting so close to the edge, it's coming out of your imaginary funbucks account shadowvezon.

 

But really hope you have a good christmas

[Axilus Prime]

Merry Christmas everyone. Death! Death for everyone.

 

Except one person. Victory for that one. We didn't have enough money to buy him a death too.

[Voxumo]

*looks over at the pile of broken chairs*

8.. You owe me 8 chairs for keeping me on the edge of my seat

[Chro]

Vox, how do you break chairs by falling off of them?

[Voxumo]

Wouldn't you like to know?

[Axilus Prime]

SV? Scene?

[Voxumo]

*Pokes Shadowvezeon with an extremely pointy stick*

[ShadowVezon]

All right, all right, I'll do it.

[Chro]

Finish the game. Don't be me

[Voxumo]

Yeah, don't be a 'Chro'... *Smirks*

[Chro]

I'm far from the only person to never finish a game, but I'm the only one to do it for Hitman

[Voxumo]

Your name shall be synonymous with Failure, much in the same way Spiriah's name is.

(Not really but it sounds good doesn't it chro?)

[Chro]

Frankly, no

[Axilus Prime]

Maybe the reason the scene still hasn't come is when the RNG results came in, it was ShadowVezon who died.

[ShadowVezon]

To be fair, I do have a profile, so you could have tried to kill me if you wanted to.