X-Men Darkest Days: Fire and Ice (Discussion Thread)

[Flex Lord Splash]

This be the discussion topic for X-Men Darkest Days: Fire and Ice.

 

If you have any questions, or would like to request one of your characters to be in the story that I haven't put in it you can do so.

 

Comments/critisicms are appreciated. If you have ideas for the story or for your character or want to make changes on something they did or said you can put that here as well and I will make edits to the story.

 

Hope you guys enjoy.

Edited December 16, 2014 by Flex Likes Groot

[AuRon the champion]

So is all our characters going to show up or do we have to make a petition to include people beyond yours, Nina's, and Tyler's characters.

 

PS why does Dallas sound high?

Edited December 16, 2014 by Landes'Rehn

[Flex Lord Splash]

Thanks... for that.

So is all our characters going to show up or do we have to make a petition to include people beyond yours, Nina's, and Tyler's characters.

 

PS why does Dallas sound high?

 

Have you actually read it at all? I have almost everyones characters.

 

Chris is in there if you read it. Nina's characters aren't a big thing, Liliana was already killed off. If anyone would like to petition for a character to be in it that's not they can, I'm just trying to hit all the main X-Men ones/villains relevant to the plot of the story, but I can always add more.

Characters in it so far, or mentioned to be alive.

 

John, Nathan, Jesika, Matt, Zack, Julia, Alec, Nero, Chris, Alex, Christine, Aleks, Tali, Krystal, Ric, Warren, Beast, Dallas, Nicole, Robin, Ashley, Brooklyn, Rebekah, Ashlynn, Rene, Angela, Showstopper

 

Quicksilver, Scorcher, Destruction, Magnitude, Shiloh, Nate, Abraham, Dominik, Shaw, Romulus, Jace, Katherine, , Novocain, Earl Greystone, Incinerator, Harbinger, Malus

 

Characters that are dead or MIA: Blake, Scott, Spirit, Jordan, Liliana, Tyrone and Fauna, Ultimate Chris (fate unknown), Sarah Haley, Adrian, Spencer, possibly Tera.

 

Think I got them all...

Edited December 18, 2014 by Flex Likes Groot

[Blair the Cat]

It looks as though you spent a long time on it, and in my opinion it's very entertaining.

 

Nice work

[Flex Lord Splash]

Thank you, sorry about Fauna, just a lot of characters to handle so not all of them could make it.

[Blair the Cat]

I understand completely. She was written badly in the first place, hence the "redesign".

[Flex Lord Splash]

Alright haha, if anyone feels really badly about their character being killed off, I can always edit. I'm trying to make this an involved thing so people feel happy about how their character is being handled in the story.

[25K Now!]

You know, you could've asked before killing off Delta Squad and painting them as cravens before their deaths.

 

I mean, I would've be fine if you wanted to kill them off, but man, are you still salty after all these years?

Edited December 16, 2014 by Purple God

[Flex Lord Splash]

You know, you could've asked before killing off Delta Squad and painting them as cravens before their deaths.

 

I mean, I would've be fine if you wanted to kill them off, but man, are you still salty after all these years?

I'm not salty no, and how did I paint them as cravens? I just said what they did in the RP, Incinerator and the rest of the Enforcers are cravens. Delta Squad just really didn't fit into the storyline I was going for, I don't have anything against them. I know they were dear to you, if you have any other characters you'd like to appear I'm willing. Thanks for reading doe.

Edited December 16, 2014 by Flex Likes Groot

[25K Now!]

Usually it's common courtesy to ask before you feature someone's characters in a story, yaknow?

[Flex Lord Splash]

Usually it's common courtesy to ask before you feature someone's characters in a story, yaknow?

 

You're right, I apologize. If you're really upset about it, I can edit it. Say one or two got away, or their suit got damaged but they survived. They were just in the line of fire for when Ashlynn exploded. I don't mind making some of them still alive if that would make you feel better. I wasn't trying to step on any toes.

[25K Now!]

I'm not salty, just wondering why you even bothered to include them if they were to die off in basically the opening paragraphs.

[Flex Lord Splash]

I'm not salty, just wondering why you even bothered to include them if they were to die off in basically the opening paragraphs.

 

Okay, well I don't like loose ends, and I didn't really remember all their names, or the names of their mechs. If they did survive I just had an idea where they could turn against the Enforcers after seeing how they killed all those children and they were replaced by those new Sentinel Mech's but that's up to you if you want them alive, and I'd need some info on them to write them.

 

They were the ones who blasted Aleks after Matt sent a warning shot at them, so it just kinda maid sense to include them, especially since the Enforcers were going to come into play and they worked for them.

Edited December 16, 2014 by Flex Likes Groot

[25K Now!]

You could, you know, not include them at all?

 

Delta Squad basically got disbanded two years ago.

[Flex Lord Splash]

I'm going to leave it alone then, the point where this Fan Fiction takes place divulges from a very certain point in the original game during the Las Vegas crisis so they weren't disbanded and they were at the scene, I'm just gonna leave it the way it is.

[25K Now!]

Alright then.

 

It's just that you gotta talk to people about these things, yaknow?

 

Ain't polite to just use other people's characters without asking.

[Flex Lord Splash]

You're right. I just don't talk to a lot of you anymore, and it was sort of quick idea that I liked a lot and worked hard to put together. If anyone doesn't want their characters to be in at all and not killed off or anything please let me know and I'll remove it.

[Eyru]

sure it's nice to ask but who really cares - i mean, it's just a fanfic. if my chars show up i'm not gonna throw a fit; it's not worth getting salty over, hub.

[Flex Lord Splash]

Angela and Rene are with Showstopper while this happens, I was thinking of bringing them in eventually, but not sure. The rest of the Ultimates would be back in their reality except for Card who stayed, probably going to leave them there. If you don't mind them showing up that is.

[sunflower]

jesika my little girl oh noes

 

aaaaaaaaaaah she's gonna be fine right?

[Flex Lord Splash]

Don't worry, Jesika will be fine, I promise. She's pretty hard to kill anyway if I remember her powers lol.

[Havelock Vetinari]

These don't even feel like the characters they're supposed to be at all. Honestly, if you're going to try something like this, talking to the people who wrote the characters is a good first step, otherwise you might end up with a shallow, lifeless shell of a character. You also seem to veer into justifying the morality of your characters-as they've gotten called out for murderous actions in the RPG's quite a bit, it comes off as a bit petty. I'm sure that isn't the intent of course.

[Flex Lord Splash]

Which characters do you mean? I feel like I've portrayed a lot of them the way I saw them in XMDD. But you're right about one thing, I will start messaging everyone whose characters I've used to see if I can improve. What justification for murderous actions are you speaking of?

 

You mean the Enforcers thing and John's comment? He would of said that, its in character for him and the Enforcer attack was NOT to justify anything it was a major plot device.

[AuRon the champion]

Query: why are all the characters in this story horrible flanderizations of the actual characters?

Edited December 17, 2014 by Landes'Rehn

[shadow pridak money gang]

He was the team stoner in XMDD.

 

-Tyler

[Flex Lord Splash]

I'm not trying to make any of them flanderizations, where do you feel and which characters seem like that? There is just so many of them I can't write huge parts for all of them so it may come off that way

[Wyrd Bid Ful Araed]

I'm not trying to make any of them flanderizations, where do you feel and which characters seem like that? There is just so many of them I can't write huge parts for all of them so it may come off that way

 

The problem is that you're trying to cram every character into every chapter. Its preventing anyone from really being more than a glorified cameo, and utterly ruining your pacing as things just leap about. Try just focusing on fewer people per chapter, build them up more, let things develop properly

[Flex Lord Splash]

 

I'm not trying to make any of them flanderizations, where do you feel and which characters seem like that? There is just so many of them I can't write huge parts for all of them so it may come off that way

 

The problem is that you're trying to cram every character into every chapter. Its preventing anyone from really being more than a glorified cameo, and utterly ruining your pacing as things just leap about. Try just focusing on fewer people per chapter, build them up more, let things develop properly

 

 

That is... good advice. I think that is why they are coming off as flanderizations etc because you're right I am trying to cram too many into one chapter. Alright, I'll do my best to focus on less characters per chapter.

[shadow pridak money gang]

one thing i recommend that generally works is sort of using a POV for each section; they don't have to even be your characters (in fact it would be better if one or two weren't, to show other viewpoints) but from what i've seen so far (especially in the x-men sections) you tend to sort of jump around characters and get random snippets of their thoughts, which does seem jarring when you jump from one to the other

 

example, chapter 3:

 

- you show zack while burning bodies. you show zack's thoughts. okay.

- then you jump back to aleks, waking up from the procedures beast put him through. the two aren't really related but we know aleks has to wake up so it's excusable

- then we jump to john and alaric

- then we jump to john and dallas

- and we end with dallas

 

meanwhile, other clusters of characters - like Showstopper and Rene - have almost one exclusive POV (showstopper), while the brotherhood is seen totally through the eyes of pietro. the best thing to do would be to find one or two characters, no more than three, that could work as a suitable POV in each chapter. from there, you get to see others talking, but it leaves ambiguity as to their thoughts, which if done right can lead to just as much character development. i'd say look through the chapters you've done so far and see who you think is close enough to the action and has enough character development to really connect to your audience, take the characters you think do that, and then write from their viewpoints instead of showing the thought processes of each and every single person doing something. it will cut back on a lot of clutter and what characters you do focus on will blossom for it

 

-Tyler

[Flex Lord Splash]

also excellent advice, thank you sirs. I will follow your advice and try to make this story stronger for it.