The Kanohi Force

[Irrie]

I still need to make mine. It will be about me helping out the people leaving the Chima subforum as it gets teleported to Lego Discussion.

That'll be good. We need more content relating to the everyday life of people in BZPower and how it corresponds to what's going on in the real-life site. 

[Tahu3.0]

The dead line is in the 24th because its gonna be the same day that i post it.

[Irrie]

My submission: 

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when thro’ the Tower

Not a rahi was stirring; not even a flower. 

The stockings were hung from the elevator with care,

In hopes that St. Jakura would soon be there. 

The Memburz were all nestled in their snug beds, 

While visions of horrifying Ghidora-squids danced in their heads. 

 

And Dallior in his fez and I in my beret,

Had just settled our brains for our long winter naps.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter. 

Away to the window, I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash. 

 

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh powered by eight tiny gears. 

When a little old driver, with such gusto and aura,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Jakura. 

 

More rapid than Phase Dragons his coursers they came,

As he whistled and shouted and call’d them by name:

“Now! Scorpio, now! Slicer, now! LoSS and Grinder!”

“On! Korgot, on! Narmoto, on! Kivoda and Basher!” 

“To the top of the tower! To the top of the wall!” 

“Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!” 

 

As dry that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. 

So up to the rooftop they went, lead by Kivoda,

With a sleigh full of toys - and St. Jakura too. 

And then in the twinkling, I heard a beat,

‘Twas the sound of their many clawed black feet. 

 

As I drew my head, and was turning around,

Down came the chimney was Jakura with a bound. 

He was dressed in all leather, from head to foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ash and soot. 

A bundle of toys was flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. 

 

His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, so merry.

His mask was the color of roses, just like a cherry! 

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the sword in his sheathe was white like the snow. 

 

And then he was shot because Jakura can never appear in a story without dying. 

[The 1st Shadow]

 

My submission: 

 

 

You're supposed to PM it, not post it.

[Irrie]

 

 

My submission: 

 

 

You're supposed to PM it, not post it.

 

http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

[Tahu3.0]

Irrie Gets A Tire Change

And Ghiddy Drinks Eggnog

A half-decent chapter by the Ghidistic maniac

Otherwise known as Ghidora131

Ghidora was sitting on a velvet-lined chair made of genuine fake leather, seated by his fireplace, as he sipped hot chocolate and finished a poem of a half-eaten apple. "And... Why... Did... You... Turn... Brown... There! finished! now I can publish it to the bookstore and they'll love mee!"
A knock was heard at the door. After a stumbling around and a spilling of hot chocolate, the Ghidora wrapped a smoking jacket around himself and peered through the keyhole, forgetting he had a peephole.
On the other side of the highly decorated wooden slab were two Matoran in business suits and one who could only be described as a Moderator. Figuring it was for some petty crime which he never did, he opened the door to greet them with open arms and a diseased smile on his face.
Windrider punched him out cold.

He woke up in a metal room surrounded by the Mods. Bonesii was standing in all his majestic sheen, a brilliant blue fire behind his eyes. Black Six was scanning Ghiddy's BZPad, and Windrider was silently chatting with a Chocolate Frog who didn't seem to respond. All at once they turned to face Ghidora.
"You've apparently been causing mass destruction via hijacking chimichanga shipment vehicles," Black Six grunted angrily, "And you'd otherwise get banned. But... We'll let you off the hook if you do us a favor. Christmas is coming up soon, and the secret santa project is underway. However, while the images of gifts can be posted, the real gifts have to be delivered by hand. And that's where you come in."
Bonesii strode forwards and spoke. "While we would do it ourselves, we have to repair the damage you've done, and we can't trust you to do that." As he spoke, his jaw never moved, but the blue flame of justice glowed from his skeletal cheeks. "You won't be allowed to leave until the job is do-"
"Yeahthatsgreatokaybye." Ghidora teleported out of the room.
Windrider facepalmed and glared angrily at the toad-like delicacy. "I told you to watch him!"

Directly outside the Mod's building, Ghidora floated and laughed his heart out. "Ahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhahaaaahhahhhhahaaahahahhaahh!!! Oh, you think I'd fall for that?! Ohohoh... Man, you guys are so funny! If only-
Something snake-like wrapped around him and dragged him to the ground. It took him a minute to realize it was the stringy neck of Irrie. "Hon hon hon, monsieur Ghid squid, Would you help me change my tire?"

--------------

"And, well, that's the story of where I'm at," The suited slob said as he slapped the tire onto Irrie's MoustacheMobile. "So now if I don't pay off and dress up as a fuzzy gift-giver, I'll probably have to pay the entire Kanohi Force bank funding to get off the hook. What should I do?"
"Hon," The Onu-Toa grew a moustache suddenly just so he could twist it in contemplation. "Hon hon. And to boot, hon. But if you think you can't do this yourself... I think I think I could think of a way HON HON HON"
"Hm... This could go perfectly." A maddening smile crept onto Ghidora's already maddened face.
"Well, hop over here, and we'll go to the KF tower and make something Baguette-ified."

--------------

Later, on the roof of the KF tower, Irrie waited for Ghidora to finish stringing lights all over it. Three hours ago, Irrie had tried desperately to convince Ghidora to not buy a santa costume and pull one out of his pocket instead, and he finally obliged. Then the issue of whether or not he could just pull out monies for the bank account came up, and it was shot down as illegal. Then Irrie suggested they make Irriebucks since there was no established press, and they spent most of the day splurging Ghiddy's pockets and pulling out tons of "cash", which Irrie had bagged and placed on the sleigh, which was just three cardboard boxes painted red and glued together.
Ghidora finally climbed up, after stringing the whole tower in lights of all shapes and sizes. His santa beard flowed majestically in the cool night breeze, and the red of his costume almost didn't look like nail polish. "We ready?"
"Yes HON HON HON," The frenchman replied as he tore his moustache off. "We only need- ow. We only need to make this fly from the power of the magic baguette of snowmen." And with those fateful words, he applied the magic baguette of snowmen to the underside of the carriage and tightened it down with wadded-up gum.
In a flash, as soon as Ghiddy had sat on it and said "Ghiddy-Up" to the nothing, the magic baguette of snowmen took off. "Wait" Irrie shouted towards him. "Beware the wrath of the warrior summoned!"
"What?" The suited slob shouted, surprised.

All over the city, Irriebucks began raining down, only to bring terrified screams ringing around the city and to those trying to enjoy a nice quiet evening. "Wait, where's the secret sants gifts?"

Irrie, however, basked in the secret santa gifts at the KF tower... Until the Mods showed up. "You've got some HON HONing to do, Irrie. Wait, why did I say that?!"

All of a sudden, the magical powers of the magic baguette of snowmen decided to go on vacation, and Ghiddy dropped, falling into a pile of snow that shouldn't be in the middle of a city. "Mmph." He got up and dusted himself off, irritated that the sleigh was busted up.
Before him stood a lumpy figure, wearing all white, mostly because he was all white. Green eyebrows directly above his green eyes remained rigid, and a wicked green smile was where a mouth of coal should have been, sprinkled with what was either blood or ketchup, and in his one poorly-formed hand was a mysterious mop. "Hello. My name is Barbosa Montgomery Detroit the time-traveling snowman."

"Uh... Hello."
"I am here because someone used the magical magic baguette of snowmen" He said, unchanging. "Therefore I am Barbosa Montgomery Detroit the time-traveling snowman. But you can call me Barbosa Montgomery Detroit the time-traveling snowman."
Ghidora scratched his head a bit. "So... Now what?"
"I will kill you have a lots of fun."
The snowman- er, Barbosa Montgomery Detroit the time-traveling snowman - began shooting spaghetti everywhere out of his mop at the Ghidistic freak. It didn't take long for Ghidora to realize he was swimming in spaghetti and quickly put on a bathing suit over his regular suit.
"Healthiness in next to spaghetti dinner tv"
"BAGUETTE SPAGHETTI"
The Irrational Rock swung in, pummeling the snowman with irrational rocks and kicking him into the magic baguette of snowmen. With a terribly uninspiring flash of pointless lights, and Ghidora realizing he never plugged the KF tower lights in, the snowman was gone, presumably transported to another place and time. As he vanished, someone dropped a cup of eggnog, which landed perfectly upright and remained warm. "Yayz, eggnog!"
Ghidora picked it up and smelled the eggnoggy fumes coming off of it. "Yum... Can't wait to- Hey, wait a second! I have eggnog!"

Irrie Got A Tire Changed

And Ghiddy Hates Eggnog

The end.


By: T1S

The 1st Shadow stood in the Leedurship council room on a cold day in early December. He was waiting for the new Leedurz to arrive, as he had something to discuss with them. Irrie and Bonkle were away for the week, doing business in New Po-Koro, but he still had Aerixx, Tahu, and Dallior to work with.

Moments later, the trio walked through the door. Shadow took to his high-backed leather chair, which no one else was allowed to touch, and addressed them all. "As you know, it's December already! We're nearly a week into the month, and we've done nothing to decorate this Tower for the holidays! We need a plan for decorating! What do you guys think?"

"Lights and ornaments!" Tahu exclaimed.

"A big tree in the lobby!" Dallior added.

"Pineapples! Pineapples everywhere!" Aerixx shouted.

Shadow's eyes narrowed as he focused in on the Toa of Silver. Aerixx just shied away and closed his mouth.

A moment later, the Gukko Lord was sent hurtling out the window. Fortunately, his recent armor redesign included a set of repulsors and gukko-like wings, so he just flew back up. "Tahu, would you get us a new window?" Shadow asked.

Tahu nodded. "You bet, Shadowmahn!" He reached into Dallior's fez and pulled out a new window, slapping it in place over the broken one.

Shadow nodded. "Anyway, a tree in the lobby... Good idea! Tell you what, you guys get started on the decorating, and I'll grab Pohatu and Meyres, and we'll go pick out the perfect tree!"

All in agreement, they all rushed to do their part.

An hour later, Pohatu, Shadow, and Meyres were driving out of BZ-Metru to the woods in the foothills just to the west of the city. "We're gonna need a good tree. Not too small, not too big, not too broad, and not too dead. When we created BZ-Nui, I made sure to copy most types of trees I knew from Earth, so we should be able to find some decent Douglas Firs."

"Yeah, I don't really know trees all that well," Meyres pointed out.

"Nor me," Pohatu said.

"Just make sure to find one with dark green needles," Shadow said as Meyres parked his truck and the three got out. We'll split up to look. If you find something, call out."

Shadow took off to the right, but only managed to find some small maples and a swamp. "Well, this is no good."

"Hey, guys! Over here!"

Shadow raced over to where Pohatu called from. A moment later, he found the Toa of Stone tangled up in some blackberry brambles. "What is this supposed to be?"

"You said find the dark green one with needles. Well, these vines are dark green, and they're covered in needles!"

Shadow maskpalmed. "Those are THORNS, and that's not a tree!" He used his light powers to cut his friend loose. "Let's go find Meyres. Maybe he's had some better luck."

About five minutes later, they found him. The Ta-Matoran was standing at the base of a massive evergreen tree. The thing was easily seven feet thick, and over two hundred feet tall. "This one good enough?"

Shadow scratched the back of his head, while Pohatu just gaped at the thing. "Yeah, cousin, I think that'll fit... IN THE COLISEUM! Smaller, boy!"

"But, Shadow, why don't we just cut the top off? Won't that work?"

"If you wanna climb up there in this winter chill, go for it. But I'm gonna stay down here where my neck won't break."

Meyres waved him off. "I've got this thing." He held up his mechanical arm, and clicked open what looked like a jagged ice pick. "I'll climb up, cut it off, and be down before you know it!" With that, he began climbing.

Pohatu just looked on. "So, what do we do while he's up there?"

Shadow shrugged. "We wait until the narrator says we do something."

Really? Hehehe... And then, the two of them got up and began dancing the tango.

"I take it back!"

That's what I thought...

A few minutes later, something crashed through the branches of the huge tree. Moments later, the top of the thing landed on the ground , and Meyres came sliding down the trunk, dodging the limbs as he came. "All right, let's get this tree in the truck and get back to the Tower."

They did just that, and before long, they were pulling into the parking garage at the base of the Kanohi Force Tower. They unloaded the tree and brought it inside. The rest of the Force was still busy at work decorating, so the three of them went ahead and set the tree up right in the middle of the Lobby, for everyone to see.

Shadow stepped back and put his fists on his hips. "Well, good job, boys! A tree well-found! Now let's help the others!"

------------

End of entry. Hope that's not too long.

Holiday Special

A Christmas For The Copy Cat

By: Geha, The Forgotten Chronicler
Geha arose from his bed as usual, except something was different. No, no, not the snow, or the festive heart shaped lights Kasha put up. Geha's head hit the ceiling with a clang. "Huh," he murmured, rubbing his head. He didn't feel the usual metal on his mask either. Instead, he felt "miracle metal". "What..?" He looked down at himself, surprised to see that he was Optimus Prime, except with Geha's color scheme. Kasha rushed to his door. "Morning, Geha! Like my gift?" Geha almost toppled over full of surprise. "You.. You did this," he asked, balancing himself. Kasha smiled. "Yep! I knew how much you and I loved The Transformers, so I made you into Optimus Prime." Geha's confusion cleared up. "But," he began, "you know I like Hot Rod." Kasha nervously scratched the back of her head. "Yeah, about that. There were only Optimus and Springer models. I saved Springer for Shadow." Geha began to walk outside. Kasha followed him. "We should get to the tower," Geha told Kasha. But before he could move, Kasha grabbed his shoulder. Geha looked back. He knew exactly what Kasha wanted. He rolled his eyes, "grinned" (He couldn't really, since he had a mouthpiece), chuckled, and squatted down. Kasha hugged him, and climbed onto his back. (It looked something like this). Geha started to walk. "Wait," he said, "I don't have a Christmas gift for you." Kasha giggled. "Yes you do. Your gift to me is being so sweet," she whispered. She kissed Geha, and the two walked off together.
FIN
Day Before Christmas

By: Tahu3.0

Tahu decided for his 2nd christmas in the force to be with his family so he left the Kanohi Force Tower and went with his Hau Cycle back to his old home when he got there he was greeted by his sister who now had his OLD ROOM Tahu said “What did you do to my room?” his sister answered “i wanted to have this bigger room as you went there to the Kanohi Force i got it” Tahu3.0 says “well you're not great at speaking English just like me also it makes sense why you have my room” Tahu3.0 and his sister here their mother shouting ”TAHU3.0 AND GALI3.0 I MADE FOOD!!!!” Tahu3.0 and Gali3.0 shouted “YES MOM!!!!” After they eated all of there food there mom Gali2.0 explaines that ”There's gonna be a family reunion tomorrow in the 24th are you okay by going in there Tahu3.0?” Tahu begins having flashbacks of the past family reunion he heard a voice it was his cousin poking him and saying “So Tahu3.0 hose your girlfriend comon hose your girlfriend…………” I will spare you time cause he repeated that phrase like 48 more times. Tahu3.0 accepted the offer and said “yes i will go” When they arrived to the family reunion when he got there he discovered it was not his familly reunion but its a reunion of all the Force members and their families Geha comes around and says “Welcome to another day of parties and gift shops well speaking about gift shops there is one here where if you buy anything in there you'll be supporting the the…………………………….Keep the Kanohi Force with much Irrie bucks foundation yea 100 percent legit” Tahu3.0’s parents including his sister ran to the gift shop Geha looks at Tahu3.0 and says “Im waiting for you to tell me copycat also finally we can make a podcast with all of the KANOHI FORCE members” Tahu opened his eyes and then.
END


By Irrie

My submission:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when thro’ the Tower

Not a rahi was stirring; not even a flower.

The stockings were hung from the elevator with care,

In hopes that St. Jakura would soon be there.

The Memburz were all nestled in their snug beds,

While visions of horrifying Ghidora-squids danced in their heads.

And Dallior in his fez and I in my beret,

Had just settled our brains for our long winter naps.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh powered by eight tiny gears.

When a little old driver, with such gusto and aura,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Jakura.

More rapid than Phase Dragons his coursers they came,

As he whistled and shouted and call’d them by name:

“Now! Scorpio, now! Slicer, now! LoSS and Grinder!”

“On! Korgot, on! Narmoto, on! Kivoda and Basher!”

“To the top of the tower! To the top of the wall!”

“Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the rooftop they went, lead by Kivoda,

With a sleigh full of toys - and St. Jakura too.

And then in the twinkling, I heard a beat,

‘Twas the sound of their many clawed black feet.

As I drew my head, and was turning around,

Down came the chimney was Jakura with a bound.

He was dressed in all leather, from head to foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ash and soot.

A bundle of toys was flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, so merry.

His mask was the color of roses, just like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the sword in his sheathe was white like the snow.

And then he was shot because Jakura can never appear in a story without dying.

By Ouberry

Here's my story! Sorry it was late!:

The Big Chase (or Why Ouberry didn’t get any gifts for The Kanohi Force)

Ouberry cruised down the highway listening to jazzy Christmas music in The Truck. Not a truck. The Truck. It was his vehicle, a piece of high-tech, heavily-armed, ridiculously-large awesomeness. Its weapons include missiles, blasters, and a giant hidden surface-to-air laser. It also had a giant engine, a radio, and even a Jolly Roger just for kicks. Ouberry activated the turbobooster and blasted out of BZ-Metru at Mach 2. He was traveling across BZ-Nui to New Po-Koro to pick up some hand- carved Christmas ornaments as gifts for the Force. He made it to the village and got out of The Truck. Walking around the village, he stopped at the first salesmen he saw. “Got any ornaments?” he asked him. “No. I don't sell any ornaments. I sell KOHLI STUFF!” The villager then started talking about Kohli, the gear, tips on playing and how much a shame it was that Hewkii couldn’t play anymore, “Anyways, the ornaments are over there.” he pointed to a giant sign that said: HANDCRAFTED CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. “Oh”, Ouberry walked to the building, his head swimming with Kohli facts. “Can you make some koh- I mean ornaments?” he asked the first carver, a tough-looking Matoran with a Pakari. “How many do you need?” the carver replied in a gruff voice. “Twenty-eight.” Ouberry said. The carver’s eyes widened and he ran off screaming like a little girl. “Tw-tw-twent-eight?!?” a nearby carver stuttered. He and several others also ran off. “Weird…maybe 28 is an unlucky number. I know-I’ll give everyone 2 ornaments” Ouberry shrugged and walked to the next carver, who was now several hundred yards away. “Hey, can you make me 56 ornaments?” he asked. The carver fainted. “I don’t get why I’m hitting so many unlucky numbers. Maybe if I gave everybody 3….” he asked the next carver, “Can I get eig-” “STOP!” a voice interrupted him. It was a police officer. “you are asking too much from these carvers! It’s way too much! You’re under arrest!” “I WILL NEVER BE ARRESTED!” yelled Ouberry and he ran out and jumped in The Truck. New Po-Koro Police Department (NPKPD) cruisers followed in hot pursuit, and began a massive car chase. Ouberry fired the backward-facing sonic bazookas at the cars, knocking several out. To make the chase seem more Christmas-y, he turned on the jazz Christmas album that he had been listening to before. The chase zoomed out of the New Po-Koro and into New Ta-Koro, where NTKPD police cars also joined the chase. At this point, the Robot Santa Claus from Futurama took notice and popped out of nowhere on his spaceship sleigh. “You’ve been NAUGHTY!” he yelled and fired his TOW missile at The Truck. The surface-to-air laser rose out of its secret compartment and incinerated the missile. Some random Lego City police people set up a blockade, “HEY!” the yelled. Ouberry yelled “YEEEEHAAAAAAW!” and fired some missiles at the blockade, blowing it up. “HEY!” the City police officers yelled again. The chase continued across BZ-Nui, attracting police from all the New Koros. However, it was already midnight, the deadline for Tahu’s contest had passed, and Ouberry didn’t give any Christmas gifts. But at least he yelled, “YEEEHAAAAW!”, which was his catchphrase, so it wasn’t a complete disaster. By the way, in case you were wondering, he did get away by losing everyone in the shadow of a mountain in the Sandstone Hills.
Anyways, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
-Ouberry (Guy With a Volitak) Edited December 25, 2015 by Tahu3.0

[Petewa]

And then he was shot because Jakura can never appear in a story without dying. 

Makes cents.

[Tahu3.0]

Well i had some trouble but i posted it.

[Irrie]

( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

OUI OUI, MONSIEUR GHIDORA! 

( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

OUI OUI! 

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅][̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅][̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅][̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅][̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

[The 1st Shadow]

What's this? Time for a new chapter? Goodie-goodie!

 

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

 

The 1st Shadow barely needed to open his window on December 31st to see that something was very wrong at the Kanohi Force Tower a couple miles down the street.

 

He dashed down the hallways of the Coliseum, muttering to himself about leaving those buffoons unsupervised. He passed by the turnoff to the Garage, and instead used the power of his Kakama to arrive at the base of the Tower. Pohatu, Dallior, Dragon, Dane, Kovika, Petewa, and Ghidora were standing at the base of the building, staring up at the smoke pouring from it's windows. Shadow walked straight up to them, and, glaring at each of them in turn, seethed, "What... Happened... HERE?"

 

Ghiddy just continued to stare up at the flames. "We need marshmallows!" he exclaimed as he began to dig through his pockets.

 

Shadow ignored him. "Again, why is the Tower ON FIRE?"

 

Pohatu and Dallior pointed over to the Tokytot and Irrie, who were trying their best to look at anything but the Tower. "Those two wanted to cook breakfast for everyone, and, well... It went up in flames..."

 

Shadow sighed. "Well, it could be worse."

 

"You bet it could," Arzaki said as he, Geha, and Jakura walked up. "If the flames spread to the basement, it might ignite the hoard of fireworks we've been storing up since July!"

 

Shadow's eyes went wide. "I'm sorry, you said what now?" He grabbed Arzaki's chestplate and pulled the Toa of Fire down to eye level. "You're saying there's a ton of fireworks in the basement that could blow the place up at any moment? Need I remind you who we are?"

 

Off to the side, Tahu and Geha were practically drooling at the sight of the fire.

 

"My point exactly," Shadow said.

 

Arzaki turned to Jakura and Geha. "Alright, we need to get to the basement and make sure that our fireworks for tonight are safe. Kovika, cover us!"

 

The crew had barely made it to the doors before there was an ear-shattering boom, followed by a wave of heat and a burst of flame which roasted the entire building.

 

Shadow maskpalmed. "I really need to invent a way to 'save' the Tower and 'restore' it to the last 'save point' if you guys keep this up."

 

Irrie, who had just joined them, overheard that last comment and pulled out his notepad. "Let's see... A device that can copy and paste a physical item or location... I may have to use that someday." As he walked over to join the group, he lifted Dallior's fez, set the notebook down on the Ta-Matoran's head, and replaced the fez. "Not to worry, gents, I can fix this. The Tower may be in poor shape now, but we can rebuild!"

 

"How?" Pohatu countered. "Where are we gonna get the money to do that?"

 

"Why, here, my fine friend!" The Loremaster pulled wads of Irriebucks from his pockets and began scattering them all over the group, making it rain. "IRRIEBUCKS FOR EVERYONE!"

 

Shadow hunched his shoulders and glared at the Toa of Earth. "No decent establishment in BZ-Metru is gonna accept Monopoly money!"

 

"Good thing these are IRRIEBUCKS!"

 

Again, Shadow maskpalmed. "Never mind. I'll deal with the Tower thing later, you guys go get some stuff to celebrate the New Year with. We'll join the celebration in central park." As they all dashed off, Shadow pulled Kovika aside. "Can you at least make sure it doesn't burn any more?"

 

The Ice Toa nodded. "I'm on it. See you at the celebration!"

 

--------------------

 

Nearing midnight, hours later, most of BZ-Metru had gathered in Central Park to watch the countdown clock, as well as some stolen footage from the various celebrations going on back on Earth at the same time. Shadow, Ghiddy, Icarus, and Dragon were over at the appetizers table, snacking on whatever they could find, when Kovika showed up to report that the fires had been extinguished and the Tower was mostly intact. Shadow's workshop was the only room that hadn't been damaged, due to the two layers of protosteel lining the Av-Matoran had installed around it.

 

"Well, at least we don't have to rebuild the thing from scratch," Ghiddy put in. "That would be a terrible way to end the first full year of the Kanohi Force."

 

Pohatu finished sipping his Kanoka Cola. "Hey, good point. This is our first full year as a group. Way to go, guys!" He raised his plastic cup . "Congrats, all of us."

 

"Cheers!" Ghiddy and Shadow chimed in as the rest of them raised their cups or cupcakes or corndogs, or whatever they happened to be holding at the moment.

 

Dane walked up just then. "Guys, it's almost time to set off the fireworks. Sadly, all of Arzaki and Jakura's hoard blew up, but we were able to buy a few more big ones before the show. Come on!" He led the way to the viewing field where the rest of the party had moved. The Kanohi Force was taking up a few picnic tables near the back. Shadow looked around, but couldn't locate the three Toa of Fire. "Say, where's Arzaki, Jak, and Geha gone off to?"

 

Petewa pointed towards the far edge of the crowd. "They wanted to get in on the action. They're down at the launch station, helping with the fireworks."

 

Shadow's eye twitched, and his breathing sharpened. "Is that really a good idea? I mean, they did try to give the Tower a basement with explosives."

 

Icarus waved him off. "It can't be that bad. Kung Fu Pyro and some others are down there supervising."

 

"Any Staffers?"

 

"Nope."

 

"That's doesn't make me feel any better."

 

The conversation died off as they heard the countdown going on. "19... 18... 17..."

 

Meyres and the Editor chimed in. "16... 15... 14... 13..."

 

By now, everyone was counting down, but Shadow thought he heard some muffled screaming from the front of the crowd. He stood up for a better look.

 

"10... 9... 8...."

 

He couldn't see anything, and the screaming had died off, so he sat down again and joined the countdown. "3... 2... 1... HAAAPPPPYYYY NEEEWW YEEEARRSSS!!"

 

Then the fireworks started going off. Most of them were smaller, but Shadow could see one massive, oddly-shaped rocket just being set off. He reached over to Ghiddy's mask, pulled off the scope, and affixed it to his own mask. He zoomed in and tried to follow the rocket as it began to take off. "Is that... Jakura?"

 

The rocket let off a high-pitched shrieking noise as it went up, unless that was the Toa in question. Shadow handed Ghiddy's eyepiece back and tried to direct everyone's attention to it, when it exploded. Biggest firework of the night, and flying out of its epicenter was the blackened form of Jakura Nuva. He fell, trailing flames in his wake as he fell, until he hit a tree just behind the rest of the Force.

 

The leaves all went up in flames as Jak slumped to the ground. "Hey, uh... Happy New Years, holly jolly cheeseburgers and all that. Woo-hoo..." And he passed out.

 

The end.

 

Happy New Years, all!

Edited January 2, 2016 by T1Shadow: The Artisan

[Irrie]

Definitely one of your best ones, Shadow. 

 

This is what happens when I try to make my special edition extra spicy baguettes. 

[Endruv]

I feel I am sorely missing from this chapter. I believe I would be somewhere up in the Tower when it was on fire, and I was probably the one who shot the fireworks in the first place, teleporting out nanoseconds before it exploded.

Other than that, I loved it.

[Petewa]

S P A M

Your post is UGLY! 

[The 1st Shadow]

I feel I am sorely missing from this chapter. I believe I would be somewhere up in the Tower when it was on fire, and I was probably the one who shot the fireworks in the first place, teleporting out nanoseconds before it exploded.

Other than that, I loved it.

Well, lots of memburz are missing from the chapter. I didn't want to clog it up too much.

 

And, um....

 

Pohatu and Dallior pointed over to the Tokytot and Irrie, who were trying their best to look at anything but the Tower. "Those two wanted to cook breakfast for everyone, and, well... It went up in flames..."

 

Shadow sighed. "Well, it could be worse."

 

"You bet it could," Arzaki said as he, Geha, and Jakura walked up. "If the flames spread to the basement, it might ignite the hoard of fireworks we've been storing up since July!"

So, probably not you. Sorry. I wrote this chapter on short notice, then had to rewrite it because I disliked the original version. You'll feature more in future chapters.  

[The Forgotten Chronicler]

I feel I am sorely missing from this chapter. I believe I would be somewhere up in the Tower when it was on fire, and I was probably the one who shot the fireworks in the first place, teleporting out nanoseconds before it exploded.

Other than that, I loved it.

Don't worry. As long as you don't change your name to "The Forgotten Chronicler", then you're fine

[Petewa]

 

I feel I am sorely missing from this chapter. I believe I would be somewhere up in the Tower when it was on fire, and I was probably the one who shot the fireworks in the first place, teleporting out nanoseconds before it exploded.

Other than that, I loved it.

Don't worry. As long as you don't change your name to "The Forgotten Chronicler", then you're fine

The forgotten one has had a spo0opy namechange.

[Bonkle]

 

 

I feel I am sorely missing from this chapter. I believe I would be somewhere up in the Tower when it was on fire, and I was probably the one who shot the fireworks in the first place, teleporting out nanoseconds before it exploded.

Other than that, I loved it.

Don't worry. As long as you don't change your name to "The Forgotten Chronicler", then you're fine

The forgotten one has had a spo0opy namechange.

 

And now I can fire rockets at any post I want.

[Kovika: Visorak Lord]

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I'm keeping you all from burning down the place.

Well, my room was lined with frost growing on the walls, so expect some minor flooding.

 

Any question on what happened to the garage? I might have to strap Ghidora to a nuke if he touched something.

Or Irrie

Karzahni, I think I'm just going to let Dane torture those responsible for a few days.

[Tahu3.0]

Well what have i missed here?

[The 1st Shadow]

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I'm keeping you all from burning down the place.

Well, my room was lined with frost growing on the walls, so expect some minor flooding.

 

Any question on what happened to the garage? I might have to strap Ghidora to a nuke if he touched something.

Or Irrie

Karzahni, I think I'm just going to let Dane torture those responsible for a few days.

The garage? Well, it's constructed mostly of stone and concrete, which might have fractured or exploded if heated enough in the right places. Otherwise, it should have been untouched.

[Petewa]

Dilly Dal was taking too long to reboot the Square, so that Dane would be in it.

 

So...I kinda sorta blew it up.

[Tahu3.0]

Yea Petewa Bronze already told me about that also do you know that by doing that and not saying why before the Rant Square is FULL.

Edited January 12, 2016 by Tahu3.0

[Petewa]

I said why in the Square, before I blew it up.

Or at least I think I did...I don't have the best of memories.

E: This topic has over nine-thousand views.

[Kovika: Visorak Lord]

Well, I'm off to clean up the mess y'all made.

Again...

*Shuffles off with a blowtorch and hammer*

[Dallior]

*revives topic just before 60-day-closure*

 

CHAPTER 20-something:

ORANGE IS THE NEW JAK

 

A shadowed Ta-Toa stretched his hands above him, grabbing a metal bar. He grunted and pulled on it, pulling himself upright. “Just another day in the life…” Jakura Nuva mumbled as he looked out the window at the skyline of BZ-Metru from the Kanohi Force tower. 

Our hero walked out of the dorm room into the elevator, the metal shaft slowly moving downwards to the entertainment center. Jakura hoped he could sharpen his game of pool against Arzaki, his long-running billiards rival. However, as soon as the Toa Nuva reached the basement, a familiar voice rang out through the building. “Would Jakura Nuva please report to the meeting room? Jakura Nuva to the meeting room?” the voice of The 1st Shadow echoed. Jak sighed and stepped back into the elevator, slowly ascending to the meeting room. 

Once he reached the top, he was immediately greeted by Dallior. “Hey, Jakura. Could you have a seat?” Jakura slowly moved towards the leedurship table, unsure what was going on. Dallior slid into his red leather chair as The 1st Shadow stood from his seat at the head of the table. “Well, Jakura, I’m sure you’re wondering why we gathered you here.” The founder stated. Jak looked around to see only Shadow and Dallior in the room with him. “Yes, I in fact am.” He responded. 

Dallior began speaking, “Well, it’s a matter of recruitment. As you know, new membership in the Force is always appreciated. Well, we’ve partnered with the local rehabilitation center to get some new recruits from them!” Jakura stared at the Ta-Matoran, confused. “Wait, you mean a prison?” “Yup!” Dallior responded giddily. “Some relatives of Geha, Petewa, and mine are in there, so we figured how about we take a crack at them?” Jakura stared at Dallior blankly. “So, you’re saying we go recruit convicts?” Shadow smiled and shouted, “Exactly! Have fun!” Shadow pushed a button on his chair, and Jakura materialized away. “Wait, noooo!”Jakura’s screams were drowned out as he disapparated to the BZ-Metru Correctional Facility.

Jakura refragmented outside the front door of the prison. A Vahki guard greeted him. “H3110, us3r Jakura Nuva. Pl34s3 com3 with m3 to your recru1t$.” Jak sighed and followed the leet-speaking Vahki. They meandered through the halls, seeing all manner of troubled users along the way. Eventually, they reached a conference room of sorts, a bunch of chairs huddled in a loose circle inside. “G00d luck,” the guard told Jakura as it softly shoved him inside. Jak heard the door close behind him, with several locks clicking. Inside the room was a group of thugs. Jak recognized Brandek, Dallior’s brother, from his comics. He also saw AngryKitty, whom Petewa had introduced him too after Bronzejet’s birthday prank, Master Inika, famous for his “Ask Tahu”, and Ouberry, a member our hero remembered from when they first joined (which was not long ago). Also seated were others, whom their nametags referred to as The Editor and Lewa of the Jungle. 

Jakura cleared his throat and asked, “Well… who wants to join the Kanohi Force?” The convicts looked around at each other wordlessly, unsure what to say. Ouberry spoke up and said timidly, “I’m pretty sure we all do, sir.” Jak looked around to see general agreement among the mass. “Well, what does joining the Force do for you?” Jak asked, unable to think of good conversation starters. “Getting out of this joint.” Brandek scoffed as he tossed a clay ball across the room. Again, general agreement. AngryKitty got up and high-fived Brandek, but even with the attention drawn to her, Jak still couldn’t figure out if she was Matoran, Toa, or Turaga. 

Jakura looked around the room and pointed at two Bo-Matoran. “You two, how’d you get in this joint?” The one who was obviously Lewa of the Jungle spoke first. “I’m… not sure. I’m pretty sure someone forgot I existed and just locked me up.” Jakura sighed, thinking of how similar Geha and his brother really were. “I was thrown in here after everyone got sick of my lame puns.” The Editor said next. “Apparently, no one appreciates good humor.”

Jakura turned around the room to see Master Inika writing something into the wall. “Well? What are you doing, storyteller?” The Ko-Toa responded, “Finishing my ‘Ask Tahu’, of course!” This was said with an air of insanity, but Jakura had grown accustomed to that. 

The Ta-Toa did a once-over of the whole room once again. “So, you’re determined to get out of here?” Jakura scowled. “A bunch of clueless criminals joining the Kanohi Force?” He then immediately smiled. “Sounds perfect!” He smashed open the door and strode out onto the busy Metru streets with his posse.

Jakura waltzed in the Kanohi Force tower, throwing the inmates inside. “Hey, guys, guess who got us some new recruits?” Dallior walked up to Jakura, a little shaken. “Oh, hey, Jak? You know that whole prison thing? Yeah, that was a joke…” Jakura’s eyes widened as he looked around to see the convicts racing around the tower, gallivanting around performing miscellaneous misdemeanors and madcap antics. “Oh, no…” Jakura managed to get out. “The Force will never be the same.” Dallior looked at Jakura. “Oh, no. If anything, they’re better behaved than most of us.”

 

FIN

[Kovika: Visorak Lord]

Well, we've recruited prison convicts on Pi day..

 

Yeah, I don't see a future where this ends up in any positive way..

[The 1st Shadow]

Wait, what? New chapters? Sounds good to me!

 

Pie Day

 

The 1st Shadow awoke one morning and glanced at his clock. It was about fourteen minutes after 3 in the morning. The Av-Matoran grumbled and sipped a bit of water from the cup at his bedside, then rolled back over and went to sleep. 

 

He was abruptly awakened a few hours later when he heard a tapping on his window. He got up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and walked over to the glass panel. It was still dark outside, but he could just make out a figure outside. Which was odd, seeing as he was on the 52nd floor of the Coliseum. "What in Mata Nui's name...?"

 

He turned on a light and opened the window. And unnecessarily long neck weaved its way in, black Kaukau barely covering the massive grin of the Kanohi Force's resident Loremaster. "GOOOOOODDD MOOOORNING, SHADOOOOWW!!" Irrie sang out. "Do you know what today is?"

 

Shadow pondered it for a moment, his mind still groggy and slow from lack of sleep due to Daylight Savings. He shrugged, glanced down at his watch, and then back up at Irrie. "No idea. And it's not morning till I wake up." With that, he slammed the window on the Earth Toa's face, and the other plummeted to the streets below, where he landed with a splat into a giant pineapple cream pie.

"Aww, darn it!" growled Aerixx, who had been dragging his massive concoction to the community center for the Pie eating contest later on.

 

Back up in his bedroom, Shadow crawled back into bed.

 

But it wasn't long before an overpowering smell rose up from the city below.

 

The Av-Matoran bolted upright and dashed to the window once more. Throwing the glass panes open, he breathed in the deep, and unmistakable scent of....

 

"Pie Day!" He whirled about, grabbed up his leather greatcoat and compacted Drillstaff, and dashed downstairs. He passed Black Six and Tufi Piyufi in the hallway. The dark-robed leader of BZ-Nui attempted to stop the Matoran for some reason or another, but Shadow ignored him, saying "I must go! There is PIE to be consumed!"

 

He first stopped by the Kanohi Force Tower. The place seemed oddly empty. "Hm. You'd think they'd all be here celebrating on a day like today. Losers. More for me, I guess."

 

He ran up to his workshop to grab one of his recent personal projects, and briefly glanced out the back window to the Moldy Throne. A few of the members were sitting about it, munching on muffins. Stashing his special gadget in his pocket, he sped down to the courtyard. He grabbed two of the muffin-munching culprits by the neck and pulled them in close. "Durahk, Editor.... Why are you guys out here.... Eating muffins.... of all things..... ON PIE DAY? I will not tolerate such blasphemy!"

 

Before any of them could react, he pulled forth his project and aimed it at the group. They all flinched back at the sight of the strange gun-looking thing. "Um... Shadow?" The Editor gulped. "What, um... What are you going to do with that?"

 

"Just watch," the other said with a maddened look in his eyes. He pulled the trigger, and a beam of energy flew at the muffins, instantly transforming them into a steaming blueberry pie. "MUCH BETTER! And it's good to know this thing really works. Now to go and test it out all over the city."

 

With that, he whisked away.

"I think we'd better call somebody..." Durahk said.

 

--------------------------

 

Well and good that they did, because By the time Black Six and the ECDR caught up to him, Shadow had used his Pie-gun to transform the entire Bionicle Discussion District into a wide variety of massive pies. Whipped cream and fruit filling spilled out into the streets as the maddened Av-Matoran dashed about, bent on turning the city into the biggest Pie-fest the multiverse had ever seen.

 

Kovika and Jakura were with them. "What has gotten into him?" The Ice Toa wondered.

Jakura shook his head. "You should have seen him last year. He went and ate every single pie that had been brought to the Community Center for the Annual Pie-Off. He went into a coma for about three weeks after that."

 

"Sheesh. What do we do now?"

 

"I was hoping you could answer that," Black Six said, walking over to them. "You guys know him well enough. How do we get close to him without getting pie-ified?"

 

"I have an idea," Jakura muttered. "But we're gonna need a lot of Ice cream...."

 

------------------------------

 

About two hours later, Jakura walked down the pie-ified streets of BZ-Metru. It wasn't long before he found his target. The 1st Shadow stood atop the Debate Hall in the S&T District, turning everything in sight into a pie.

 

"Shadow!" he called out.

 

The other Kanohi Force member turned at the sound, Pie-gun aimed at the Toa of Fire, eyes twitching behind his black Kakama.

 

Jakura knew he had only seconds to do this. "There's a bit of a disturbance down by the Lego Discussion District. Team Farm Animals is throwing a Cake Party, and..."

 

"Cake? CAKE?" Shadow roared. "How dare they? I shall stop this at once!" He proceeded to race down the side of the building, onto the street and in the direction Jakura indicated.

 

"Okay, he's on his way," The Fire Toa whispered into his walkie-talkie.

 

On the other end of the line, Kovika nodded to Black Six and gave the signal. The leader of BZ-Nui gestured to the ECDR, who relayed the command to the Vahki squads on either side of the street. As one, they poured out the tubs of ice cream, awaiting the unsuspecting madman.

 

Seconds later,m he came sliding through, tripping over his own feet only to maskplant into the sidewalk. The Vahki moved in to retrieve both The 1st Shadow and his weapon of mass deliciousness. They proceeded to lock up the unconscious Matoran until Pie Day was over.

 

-----------------

 

At exactly midnight that night, the screams and threats from Shadow's cell abruptly stopped. Black Six, accompanied by Tufi, Jakura, and Kovika entered. Shadow sat on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees. "You know how I normally get blamed for the Kanohi Force's shenanigans? Well, I take full responsibility for this one."

 

"Well, good," Black Six started. "Because we've-"

 

"In my defense, it was Pie Day. And you guys really underappreciate that as a national holiday. And furthermore-"

 

Before he could go on a rant, Kovika shoved a strawberry-rhubarb pie at Shadow, who immediately forgot what he was saying and focused entirely on devouring the entire pie. Black Six gave the other a questioning look. The Ice Toa shrugged. "It was literally the only way to shut him up. Just so ya know."

 

 

END

----------------------

 

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea how I wanted to end this chapter. So, there you have my worst chapter ever.

[IcarusBen]

I must object to the use of Pi Day to promote the sale of baked goods. This is clearly an attempt to misappropriate a beloved holiday of math by the pie industry and-

 

Oh, who are we kidding. Pie is delicious. Math sucks. I shall now consume this pie with joy and glee.

 

*OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.*

[McNugget]

Oh, who are we kidding. Pie is delicious. Math sucks. I shall now consume this pie with joy and glee.

I would like to disagree with both of your statements.

[IcarusBen]

 

 

Oh, who are we kidding. Pie is delicious. Math sucks. I shall now consume this pie with joy and glee.

I would like to agree with both of your statements.

Fixed.

[IcarusBen]

I did a thing.

 

---

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 

“Come on, Ben!” Kovika and The 1st Shadow were standing outside IcarusBen's apartment in the KF Tower's space hangar, pounding on the door and trying to get him to crawl out of bed.

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 

Shadow sighed. “This is hopeless. What the heck happened to him?”

 

Kovika began studying the door for a possible way in. The door was well-crafted, but surely it had some sort of way inside. “He was watching a Let's Play of Fallout 4 when all of a sudden I heard him swear loudly and then retreat inside his room.” The Toa of Ice began trying to freeze off the doorknob.

 

“Wait.” Shadow maskpalmed. “You let him watch a Let's Play of Fallout 4? Don't you remember what happened when he learned Fallout 3 was horrible?”

 

The Ko-Toa looked frustrated as the ice simply fell off the doorknob when he tried to shatter it. “Well, near as I recall, he made himself a black cloak and began burning effigies of Todd Howard while playing ominous me once more froze the doorknob and tried to shatter it, but as usual, the ice merely came off harmlessly. “I still have The Plagues stuck in my head.”

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 

Shadow began pounding on the door. “Ben, get out here!”

 

The hangar's intercom beeped. “No way. I'm not coming out there until I learn every copy of Fallout 4 has been burned to a crisp and the entire development team is thrown in jail for national treason and crimes against humanity.”

 

“Well,” the Av-Matoran pondered, “At least he's responsive.”

 

Kovika wasn't listening. He was too busy attacking the door with all his might. “GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!”

 

SLAM!

 

“Ow...” Kovika sighed. “I think I dislocated my shoulder.”

 

The intercom beeped once more. “Go away. Leave me be.”

 

“Come on,” Shadow yelled. “It's just one game!”

 

The intercom beeped a third time. “GHOULS CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT FOOD AND WATER YOU SEISMIC IDIOT! THEY NEED TO BREATHE, FOR GOD'S SAKE! THEY'RE NOT ROBOTS!”

 

Shadow looked confused towards Kovika. “Did he just call me a seismic idiot?”

 

Kovika looked equally confused. “I think he's talking to Bethesda.”

Shadow tried again to reason with Ben. “It's just one quest, how bad can it-”

 

This time, Ben didn't even need an intercom to be heard. “AND THEN THERE'S CABOT HOUSE! DEAR GOD, CABOT HOUSE! DID THE DEVELOPERS JUST THINK 'Oh, Obsidian has this incredibly well-crafted world, let's just ALL OVER IT?!' WHAT MORON WROTE THIS SHLOCK?”

 

Kovika groaned. “Clearly it's a problem with the game as a whole.” He turned back towards the door. “But surely it can't be th-”

 

“AND THEN, AND THEN YOU'VE GOT THE HORRIBLE OPTIMIZATION, THE ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY GOD AWFUL ENGINE, AND TECHNICAL GLITCHES THAT MAKE WINDOWS 'MISTAKE EDITION' LOOK LIKE A MASTERPIECE OF PROGRAMMING!”

 

“I was mistaken. Sigh. Oh well.” Kovika started to walk off. “Let me know if he comes out. We've got to present the Raptors to the staff today.”

 

Shadow sat down next to the door, looking rather dejected. “I'll get Black Six on the phone and ask him to hold off with the presentation until Ben's in better shape.”

 

Meanwhile, Ben was continuing to ramble on about technical problems this and horrible writing that. By this point, nobody was terribly interested anymore.

 

---

 

Six hours had passed. The Kanohi Force had called a meeting to discuss what should be done about Ben's condition. Sadly, due to nobody else caring (and the fact that this author doesn't know how to write the other members of the Force) only Kovika and Shadow had bothered to show up.

 

“I don't believe it.” Kovika did a double maskpalm with a side of disbelief. “He's been in there for six hours! I've never seen him go so long without eating.”

 

“That may be Ghidora's fault.” Shadow sighed. “Ben kept pushing for the Force to allocate funds to install a pizza delivery system throughout the tower.”

 

“Well, that's convenient.”

 

“Tell me about it. It's bad enough he's cooped up in there, but if he manages to access the soda containment units, he could be holed up in there indefinitely.”

 

“Can't we just ask Jakura or someone to melt the door open?”

 

“Yeah, right. He's built that door out of the same alloy he used in his ships. We could chuck that thing into the coronasphere of a star and it'd still be intact.”

 

“So how do we get in? The air vents?”

 

“As part of his improvements to the Tower, he's asked for us to replace all the air vents with replacements that are only six inches in diameter to prevent unwanted access to restricted areas.”

 

“How about the trash disposal system?”

 

“Nope. He told me that it'd be good exercise to take all trash out back into the dumpsters. Needless to say, we complied.”

 

“How about the aforementioned pizza delivery system?”

 

Shadow paused for a moment. “That… That might work. Thanks, plot convenience!”

 

---

 

IcarusBen sat in his room, dressed in his ominous black cloak and his bright blue pajamas, cooped up with a warm pizza and a bottle of root beer, watching reruns of sitcoms on his flatscreen, when all of a sudden, he heard a loud thunk.

 

“Oh… . One of Aerixx's gukkos must've gotten stuck in the P.D.S. again. Dang it, Aerixx. I told you not to let your gukkos near the pizza!”

 

He got out of bed and went to investigate the thunking noise when all of a sudden, Kovika and Shadow launched out of the delivery system.

 

“OWJESUSCHRISTDANGITSONOFAPIRAKA!”

 

IcarusBen was knocked to the floor while Kovika and Shadow both managed to land on their feet. As Ben dusted himself off (being human, having two metal men landing on top of him wasn't particularly pleasant) he grew an angry look in his eyes.

 

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING? I COULD'VE DIED! YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE LEFT AL-OW!”

 

Kovika finally decided to just slap Ben. “No. Shut up. You've been in here for hours. Now, we're gonna get you outside so we can finish the Raptors.”

 

“But...” Ben rubbed his now very red cheek. “Fallout 4 sucks...”

 

“Too bad. Get. Out. Now.”

 

Shadow began looking worried this would end up escalating into a fight, but Kovika seemed confident, until;

 

“Make me.”

 

Shadow kept trying to tell Kovika “NO!” but the Ko-Toa grew a look in his eyes. A dangerous look that may only be looked with by those who are feeling truly dangerous.

 

“Fine.”

 

---

 

Three weeks had passed. The ensuing battle between Kovika and Ben had led to both of them ending up in the hospital. He may have only been human, but as Kovika learned the hard way, you never interrupt a very tired and very annoyed Fallout fan, lest you be destroyed by your own hubris.

 

“AND THEN THERE'S THE MAIN QUEST! DEAR GOD, THE MAIN QUEST! 'Oh, it's just like 3's quest, but BACKWARDS! /shock!” I CALL BULL! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU WRITE A MAIN QUEST! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT, YOU-”

 

Kovika had also learned that earbuds don't do much if the source of the sound is blaring at a hundred and thirty decibels.

[Ghidora131]

I did a thing.

It's against BZP rules to double post. Please don't do it again unless you started the topic.

[McNugget]

 

I did a thing.

It's against BZP rules to double post. Please don't do it again unless you started the topic.

 

6) No double-posting unless you're posting a new chapter. Just edit your last post.

He posted a new chapter, so it's not against the rules.

[Ghidora131]

Chapter Who=Cares=Anymore
 
Uncle Sigh
 
 
-----
 
Ouberry walked downstairs with a slow yawn to be instantly startled by the most shocking thing in the universe: IcarusBen cleaning. "You... You okay, Ben? You look a little pale... Oh wait, you always look like that."
 
Ben responded with a glare before cracking his back in agony. "I've been here for the last three hours; Ghiddy won't let me quit. Talk to him and find out what the Karzahni the spring cleaning is for... And if I can at least get a break." And with no returning statement, Ouberry took the elevator to the next floor down.
 
After realizing Ghidora was on the main floor, he went back into the elevator and headed straight down, only for the elevator to come to a screeching halt. "Go up! Go up!" someone shouted from below, and Ouberry hurriedly went to the next floor and took the stairs. When he arrived on the main floor, Ghidora was yapping his head off at Shadow in a hurried sort of way, with Shadow turning boiling red from the argument. "Okay, I was wrong! Can we move onto something else please?!"
 
"Um, what's goin' on, gents?" The Smoothie Matoran asked with a quizzical look. Ghidora angrily jabbed a finger in his face. "Thanks for the elevator on my head, genius." It was a chicken finger, and he started crunching on it when there was a knock at the glass door.
 
"Quick! Hide the chicken! He's coming!" Jakura screamed. Odd, he didn't notice the fire Toa there before... And with a snap of the lock and a swing of the door, in walked one of the most enigmatic characters in the history of the universe.
 
 
As for what he looked like, no-one could say. It was if you took sarcasm, disappointment and brilliant humour and gave them a body. He was almost as tall as Jakura, with rainbow-coloured irises, and a gentleman's nature about him despite his extremely casual wear. "Hello Jakura, hello. And I assume you are Shadow?" He wrung the still astonished Av-Matoran by the hand. "A pleasure to meet you. No, I know Ghidora very well. And who's this friend of yours? Ouberry, is it? Well, hello friend."
 
"I've come by to invite you all to my wedding." He stated with such calm that it was frightening. "I'm going to be married to Miss Pelled tomorrow. I'd like you to all wear formal wear, but I see Ghidora already has that covered."
 
Deal With It glasses were on Ghidora's face.
 
"Anyway, come by the coliseum building tomorrow, and then come to the chapel, because that's where it's actually happening." With a nod to them all, Uncle Sigh left the building.
 
Shadow rounded on Jak suddenly. "Why the heck is your uncle coming here? And much less, getting married?"
 
 
-----
 
 
Jakura still had no answer for that question as they were sitting the chapel the next day, separated by a pile of notes that said 'Why' on them. "Shadow, I don't know." He said through gritted teeth. "Now can you dispense with the notes-"
 
Shadow was standing on the pew, dumping notes out of a bucket. "What? Sorry, I wasn't listening. Say that again, please?"
 
Despite Jakura burning the notes and the pew in a fiery rage, Ghidora was still able to make it to the organ. He sewed the test frog back up and moved it off of the musical organ, then seated himself on the velvet piano bench and pulled a music sheet out of his pocket. A beautiful chorus of Thriller filled the building until he realized it was the wrong tune, quickly remedying the situation by writing the words Marriage Music on the title and playing from memory.
 
Down the isle walked Miss Pelled, who also was indescribable for some reason. It was if you took miscommunication, contradictions, and bad grammar, and mixed them with sensibility and reasoning before giving it a body that looked nothing like that. She was accompanied by what was assumed to be her father, but Ghidora jumped a little when he saw him.
 
As the music fought constantly to overtake the noise of Jakura ranting, the priest was nowhere in sight.This might have been because he never wore glasses, or because he wasn't there. Frantically, Uncle Sigh did the role himself, and due to his nature, bored everyone in the whole building with it. When it finally ended, the whole room was silent until Dallior started shooting rice out of his fez and people gave half-awake claps of 'joy'.
 
Ghidora, however, was daydreaming about himself getting married. "What if... What if I marry a nose?"
 
 
 
"WHAT?!"

He tumbled off of the bench as the entire room turned to shout at him. "Uh, hehe, just an idea... Shadow, where did you get that."

 

Shadow was standing, holding a straight jacket. But before he could attempt to wrangle Ghiddy into it, people starting spreading the word. "Ghiddy's gonna marry a nose?" "Far out, bruh!" "Hey let's go tel the staffers" "Wow, he's marrying a nose!"

 

Jakura promptly fainted from the stress. People started filing into a line, shaking Ghiddy's hand for his new proposal. He smiled pitifully as each one, with a nervous glare to Shadow, who always glared angrily back. Uncle Sigh and Mrs. Pelled Sigh were now walking out the door to their limo which Ghidora had plucked from his pocket. "Now Shadow, I can explain maybe..."

 

"You'd better." Shadow growled as Arzaki walked in the door. "Hey guys, am I late?"

 

 

-----

 

 

IcarusBen had recently become the new head of the Military Attack Grammar Nazis of Online Forums, or M.A.G.N.O.F. "As the new head of MAGNOF, I'm here to secu-"

 

The telephone rang. "Hello, welcome to MAGNOF, secret group you don't know about, can I help you?"

-----

"Hey, it's Shadow. I sent you an email earlier, and what's MAGNOF?"

-----

"Oh, I'll tell you lat- WHAT IS THIS."

-----

"Oh, you hadn't seen it yet. Uh, that happened..."

-----

"Okay, if that twit actually marries a nose I'm nuking his house with the Daedalus."

-----

"You're using the KF flagship because of a nose???"

-----
"Yeah lol bye."

 

 

-----

 

 

The next day, Ghidora found himself standing in the same building, questioning his life choices. Shadow had managed to find a nose - living in a back alley, harboring a weapons shop, and with a notorious crime history. But as he walked the nose down the isle, it suddenly flipped into the air and knocked him unconscious.

 

"Hon hon hon, you weel nevehr get moi!" It grew a moustache suddenly, stealing a fancy fedora from a wedding-goer.

 

Irrie jumped to his feet. "NO!! Cascar of Bleu Cheese! I should have known!"

 

"Oui, you silly twerp! And now I will take over ze sitee, and rule ze world! HON HON HON HON"

 

"HON HON HON HON" Irrie responded, for no other reason than they were honhonhon-ing. Suddenly Ouberry burst through the door, carrying Aerixx because he was lazy. He promptly dumped him on the floor. "Ghids, the Daedalus just got posessed by the mods!"

 

"What?!" Shadow woke up in a fit. "Why?!"

 

"They were seen prepping missiles, and Icarus was taken into custody. I know the ship is near-invincible, but Black Six got in it with no problem. And uh... WHY IS THERE A DISEMBODIED NOSE ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING."

 

"Honhonhon-ing." Irrie and Cascar snarled at Ouberry before continuing.

 

 

-----

 

 

Ghidora was able to convince the Mods to let Ben and the Daedalus go... With a $2,000.00 fine for being a nuisance, clearing out Ben's bank account (despite several attempts to pay in Irriebucks). Sad and depressed, the MAGNOF disbanded, heading back to their respected forums to keep the peace and punctuation, alongside the fleeing Cascar. Uncle Sigh was waiting at the tower for the Force.

 

"Well, it's been great seeing you all," he said with his perpetual half-smile, "But I'm going to go on a honeymoon with Pelled. We may be back in a while."

 

"I hope not." Shadow grumbled under his breath. "I mean, I hope you return soon."

 

"Thank you all for your warm company. Maybe when I return, I can convince Ghidora's uncle to come as well." The suited psycho's eyes got wider.

 

After a shaking of hands, the pair drove off into the sunset. Ghidora clasped his hands together. "Well, that pacifies things in the meanti- ohhh.... Well I'll let you guys deal with this seeya."

 

 

Shadow, Arzaki, Dallior, Jakura and Ouberry continued to hold off the mob of people ready to give the nose wedding gifts for about three more hours until the staff dealt with them.

 

-----

 

"Well, that's what happened yesterday." Dallior said, closing his report book. He looked up at the entirety of the force, which was seated in front of him. "Are there any questions?"

 

The ones  in the recap were silent, but everyone else was open-mouthed for a while. Finally, Master Inika stood up. "With all due respect, has Ghidora had an I.Q. test?"

 

"What would it prove?" the Force asked in unison.

 

 

The end~

[Jakura Nuva]

Darn uncle of mine...

[Kovika: Visorak Lord]

Has anyone entertained the thought of shooting the nose? Someone needs to put that thing down.

*Loads .357*

[Endruv]

Huzzah! I finally had an important role in a chapter!

[Ghidora131]

Chapter Something or Other

 

Dubble-Oh Shadow

 

 

-----

Ghidora was sweeping the floor of the entry area with what appeared to be a dead peacock when Shadow walked in through the shiny glass doors, clutching his elbow in stiff agony. Not surprisingly, Ghidora paid no attention to the Av-Matoran until he accidentally walked into him in light-headedness, and he responded by jumping into the air and kicking Shadow into the wall on the far side.

 

"Oopsie." He daintily jogged over to where he lay and helped him up with more force than intended. "You okay? I noticed you have an elbow..."

 

Shadow glanced down at it, and rolled his eyes. "Congratulations. In case you're wondering, I was shot at earlier."

 

"Who? Whichever cameraman it was, I will find them and force them to watch me expose undeveloped film to sunlight."

 

Shadow rolled his eyes again. "It was nobody important, just-"

 

"Denver Doonawho, escaped from prison last week?"

 

He jolted back in surprise. "What- How did you know that?"

 

"Oh, this folder I stole off your person when you crashed into me." Ghiddy waved the security folder in front of Shadow, who angrily snatched it out of the suited slob's hand. "Mind telling me why you have papers regarding the matters of state inside your incredibly bad excuse for a Doctor Who coat?"

 

Shadow sighed. "Look, I... Ghids, I'm a secret agent. But I can't have anyone finding out because-"

 

Nearly all the Force burst into the room, shouting "YOU'RE A SECRETE AGENT??"

 

But before Shadow could angrily punch Ghidora in the face and then go on a rant, two Matoran in black suits with black ties and black undershirts wearing black masks and black sunglasses and black hats and white socks and black shoes suddenly appeared in front of the group, apparently having stood there the whole time that Shadow and Ghiddy conversed. "Well Agent 003rd, it appears you actually found half-decent recruits. Not you, Ben." Tey angrily glared at the eager Fallout fan who had darted forwards in excitement, and he returned in shame and sorrow.

 

"Arzaki, Meyres, Ghidora, you will come with us and Shadow to become Advanced Gunmen of Espionage and Nighttime Theft - or Agents. It is my duty to inform you that you will probably not return alive because you're just that stupid. Let's go."

 

"Wait, I can understand Meyres coming, but why Arz-"

 

Shadow's words were cut off as a flash bang blinded the group and the four were quickly whisked away by an awesome helicopter and a spy music track played... But nobody could see it because of the flash bang. The music started skipping right after, and everyone quietly dispersed in boredom... Except for Loganto, who was crying to himself in a corner of how his life dream just died.

 

 

---

 

 

Meyres woke up inside a metal room, which was shined with a fine polish and really reminded him of the Helicarrier. Ghidora was having a staring contest with one of the bolts in the wall, and Arzaki was... Well, it looked like he was trying to melt the metal into a sandwich (but it was really a hot dog).

 

He quickly darted over and helped Shadow up. "What in good gravy is going on here, Shadow?"

 

"Meyres" He responded to his shorter cousin, "whatever you do, don't sneak anything off their person. They will kill you; they've done so in the past."

 

Ghidora suddenly stood up. "So....Should I return th-"

 

The door slid open, and in walked what was clearly a cyborg person. Maybe Black Six...? He had a well-trimmed moustache and metal lining his jaw. "Shadow, I see you've returned with the new recruits. Well, let's put them through the trai-"

 

Shadow had been staring for some time at the individual, and suddenly interrupted him. "Wait. Sir, these boys are... Let's say unique. They're not only extremely tricky, but they're kinda... What's the word... Disadvantaged in certain areas, if you follow." He tapped the side of his head-plate, to which Arzaki scowled. "Perhaps it wold be best if I helped oversee the training."

 

 

-----

 

 

Shadow 'oversaw' the training, which proved too difficult for all of them, but not too surprisingly - the challenge was to cook breakfast without blowing everything up. Arzaki instantly burnt down the kitchen, flailing about madly and shouting "BONFIRE", Meyres simply used his mechanical arm for everything until he tried to recharge it in an electrical socket (he found the results quite shocking), and Ghidora stared at the egg for and hour and a half until he exploded with boredom from waiting for it to cook itself and went into Karzfire rage of death, ripping everything to shreds and choking on a rubber ducky.

 

The elegantly moustached Black Six turned in his revolving chair, rubbing his forehead in agony, while Shadow tried not to make eye contact. "Fine. We'll try them out on a harder course, just because we like you. But you're stuck with them."

 

Shadow shook his head strongly. "What? why would I ever-"

 

Bonesii picked up the Av-Matoran from behind and teleported him to the training room.

 

Inside, Shadow was soon accompanied by a rather drenched Arzaki, a slightly blackened Meyres, and a slightly blue Ghidora from lack of oxygen. "Ugh... Heya Shadow. So, I guess we're agents now?"

 

Shadow growled angrily at the Ghidster, who growled back for no apparent reason, and the two continued growling until it got very awkward, and the growls slightly turned into moans of desperation. To save them from their plight, the alarms starting going off.

 

"Shadow! B6 says for you to report with your team down at vault #9! emergency!"

 

The group piled out in a heap of diseased minds, which Ghidora swept into the intelligence department, before they all scrambled frantically into the aforementioned vault. Black Six was inside, and he had cornered Denver Doonawho attempting to steal the prized Copper Hunas, to which were given to slightly more impressive citizens of BZ-Nui. There was a hole in the ceiling which had been made from the inside of the room.

 

"No!" Denver snapped angrily, standing in front of the pile. "This was not part of the deal! I wasn't supposed to get caught-"

 

Meyres extended his arm and knocked a Huna from Denver's hands. Arzaki flashed a huge blast of fire inches in front of the villain to throw him off guard, and Shadow blinded him with a flash of light. When it cleared, he was staring into Ghidora's magnificent eyes, which were filled with such madness that he fainted.

 

"Well, that was easy." Black Six said. "Now that that's over-" He pulled out a gun and shot Shadow in the stomach, as an eerie laughter filled the room from B6- but his mouth wasn't moving. "Hon hon hon, I have fooled you stupid fools once again! Foolish!"

 

The electronic and terrible decoy of the BZP moderator fell to the ground, as his nose jumped off and landed in the center of the room. "CASCAR WILL RISE AGAIN!!" It shouted, the handsome moustache it bore spinning like a helicopter blade and carrying him out of the hole in the ceiling. Ghidora stood, shaking his fists at the sky - except he wasn't looking at the hole and was instead fuming at the ceiling.

 

Bonesii burst into the room then, glancing at the robotic corpse on the floor and simultaneously healing Shadow and removing the bullet with his power. "Man, I thought you were an awful agent, Shadow, but now you have prove there are worse than you." Nobody cheered.

 

"But you did stop Cascar from stealing any Hunas, so I guess you did something with your worthless lives." He pulled out a golden medal from his pocket, which the pile of supposed agents all obsessed over suddenly. "So I've decided to give this medal to... Loganto!" He pulled the Matoran from behind his back, who fell to the floor like a ragdoll.

 

"What?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!"

 

"Yeah, you guys kinda suck."

 

They were whisked away before they could do anything else.

 

 

-----

 

 

IcarusBen was prepping for a casual fly-by of the city, but after the wedding incident the staffers had a maintenance check every time he took off, making sure he wasn't armed. "IcarusBen, I see that miniature missile under the docking bay. Remove it."

 

He groaned angrily, pressing a few buttons on the command deck to have it removed. "Now can I finally leave?"

 

"Actually... No, we have a situation. Bye." The electronic voice shut off with a lawl, while he wrung his head in misery.

 

 

-----

 

 

Meyres and Arzaki stood outside of the Kanohi Force tower, staring at the sky. "I feel awful that we made Shadow lose his job." The cybernetic cousin said.

 

"I don't."

 

"Well, either way, I still think we're responsible for that."

 

The two watched as Loganto ran through the streets, shouting at the top of his lungs "I'M A SECRET AGENT!!!" while nearly half the entire staff chased after him angrily.

 

"...Nah. Shadow's fault."

 

The sun slowly set on the very pathetic city, as the spy theme for Team Fortress 2 played.

 

 

The end?

Edited March 31, 2016 by Ghidora131

[Petewa]

What do you guys think of the KFforums?

 

I changed them for today.

[The 1st Shadow]

What do you guys think of the KFforums?

 

I changed them for today.

I like it! Speaking of which, any idea what the Staffers did to BZP today? I haven't seen anything yet.