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The Kanohi Force


Dallior

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THE KANOHI FARCE

Chapter 8: The Stan Lee Parable

One day, the Kanohi Force leedurz were speeding down the officially sanctioned BONKLE RACEWAY on their Kanohi Force vehicles. Gukko patrolled the skies from the fancy Gukko Copter, Ghidora carpooled with Jakura in the Hypemobile, Arzaki... I don’t honestly now what he’s doing up there with that narwhal, but I guess he’s riding it, and Dallior led the pack in Da Big Dilly-Dally Truck. They were heading towards the mall, also known as the Mahwl, to meet the ultimate comic maker... Stan Lee. Ghiddy was still chuckling with glee. For reasons unknown, The 1st Shadow had not been seen or heard from since yesterday. Such a shame, since he's a huge MARVEL fan.

 

Eventually, they arrived at the dreaded Mahwl, home to screaming girls, shopping girls, Valley girls... and basically 95% girls 50% of the time. Naturally, Arzaki was right at home. “Hey!” Anyway, our heroes had arrived, only to find that the trouble was only beginning.

 

As they progressed through the mall, trying to find the Stan Lee booth, Dallior suddenly grabbed his teammates and dragged them into a cupcake shoppe. “Hey, what gives, man?” Jakura asked, deflated. “Yeah, it’s not like the entire Brotherhood of Makuta is out there!” Ghidora chimed in. “No, even worse.” Dallior shuddered. “Mall kiosk vendors.”
Dallior peeked around the corner and used his mediocre comic-drawing skills to create a map of the next hallway. “Where’s The 1st Shadow when I need him?” he muttered under his breath. “OK, here’s the plan.” Dallior whispered while munching on a salted caramel cupcake. “The Stan Lee booth is at the end of the mall. In between us and him are approximately 21 hallway kiosks.” Gukko snickered. “You said kiosks! Heheheh...” Dallior rolled his eyes and returned to the map. “Most of them are unmanned, or manned by unenthusiastic vendors, like the motorcycle giveaway.”

 

Ghidora took over, allowing Dallior to risk the journey across the hallway to get Jamba Juice for the team with Gukko Lord. “But, as we all know, the worse the product, the harder the vendors work. Our biggest threats will be the bad quality phone service company, and...” Ghiddy paused for suspense. “...the hand lotion vendor. Are we all ready?”


As the team was about to end the briefing, they heard a scream from the hallway, they saw Gukko Lord lying facedown in a puddle of pineapple smoothie. “Gukky! What’s wrong? Where’s Dallior?” Arzaki asked as he picked up their teammate. Gukko Lord sadly pointed down the hallway, where the team saw Dallior using his life savings on a $60 smartphone. “No! They’ve got Dallior!” Jakura yelled. The team ran over to check on him. He was crying on the floor, screaming, “I was going to buy the Mask Maker Bionicle set in August! I just couldn’t resist! I COULDN’T RESIST!!” The team sadly left their fallen comrade and headed back down the hall.

 

The onslaught lasted for hours. Arzaki was tempted into working at Hot Topic. Gukko Lord invested in a timeshare in the Bermuda Triangle. Pohatu nearly escaped unscathed, but was finally forced into entering a raffle for a car, where he stood until he was sure the car was his. Finally, only Jakura Nuva and Ghidora, stood just one booth away from Stan Lee, but the last booth was the last... the dreaded hand lotion vendor who would stop at nothing to sell. Jakura, after seeing so many people fall at the hands of the Mahwl, decided to charge straight through, screaming “YOLO” all the way. Unfortunately, the vendor stopped in front of him. Ghidora hid behind a flower pot, and saw his friend stop fall in front of him carrying 3 boxes of lotion. “Spend $15 and you get a free Loofa...” he whispered before he passed out.

 

Ghidora looked at the vendor with anguish, silently strategizing. Ghidora finally nodded, got up, and began the long walk to Stan Lee. He eventually made it through, unscathed. And he, as a victor, walked to Stan Lee. He got his and Shadow’s comics signed (where was he anyways?), and even arranged a joint-cameo in a new Marvel movie. As Ghidora happily turned around to get out of the gauntlet that is the Mahwl, the lotion vendor jumped in front of him. “Free sample?”

 

THE END...
Or is it?

Edited by Dallior
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"Remember when the comics forum had a lot of good stuff? Let's make that a thing again." -Kazi the Matoran

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Eventually, they arrived at the dreaded Mahwl, home to screaming girls, shopping girls, Valley girls... and basically 95% girls 50% of the time. Naturally, Arzaki was right at home. 

I gagged on my drink when I read that.  :superfunny:

Great chapter! 

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bZpOwEr

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This, my friends, is why we need to keep away from all Mahwls until I can train my army of alternate versions of Petewa I stole from various universes singing Rahkshi to be very aggressive towards cheap vendors.

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"In this new- Wait, why am I being quoted?!"

-Kovika, Toa of Ice, Bread Enthusiast, and Ko-Metru Scholar.

 

 

 

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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Somewhere inside me my Internal organs that cause me to laugh, worked to hard, and died.

Now I need an Laughili Transplant

I think that you can create new ones using a formula involving mashed up bananas. 

 

Get over here Banana gunz! I gots me a hammer!

 

 

*Activates mask of unpeeling, pulling Dragon's body apart into long thin slices, then proceeds to do the same to the cheese stick I bought for lunch*

 

Man, the mask of unpeeling is OP in the best of ways!

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A new installment! Welcome, my friends, to the Shadow Saga! A side-story that will answer the questions of why I am absent from the goings on of the Kanohi Force. Read on for more info. I'll be posting these in multiple, short updates for a while, until my adventure concludes. Here we go!

 

 

Shadow Saga--Part 1

 

The 1st Shadow sat in his high-backed chair, and stared over his desk at the figure before him. “Well, Black Six? Exactly what am I needed for?”

 

Black Six and six other Moderators stood around the desk. A few of them looked very uncertain—B6 himself looked a bit uneasy.

 

Before any of them could speak, Shadow sat upright, clicked his fingers, and seven chairs materialized underneath them. “Please, make yourselves comfortable.” It was a show of power, and they knew it.

 

shadowstudy.png

 

Though only a standard member, it was The 1st Shadow who had unlocked a pocket dimension and found a way to connect it to the BZPower website, creating the world of BZ-Nui, with some minor help from the Mods themselves. How he had done this was beyond them, but so far all had gone well, so they left him to his own devices, and allowed him to take residence in the Master Suite of the Coliseum.

 

Regardless, he was still a member, and this meant that he had to abide by the rules, and yield to the Staff when necessary. This was one of those times.

 

Recovering from the sudden appearance of the chair underneath him, B6 stood once again, straightening his cape and adjusting his face-guard. He glanced over at Windrider, then at the biomechanical skeleton known as bonesii, then over to the Matoran-sized, armored puffin called Tufi Piyufi. They all nodded in turn.

 

He looked over at Shadow, who was leaning forward on his desk, resting his chin on the bridge of his knuckles. Though hidden by a Kanohi, B6 knew there was a knowing grin on the other’s face. “The 1st Shadow, this is a matter of grave importance. There’s been a breakout.”

 

“Yes, the 2012 Hero Factory storyline. It’s been three years, so I’m well aware of it.”

 

Black Six frowned. “You know that’s not what I meant. It’s a matter of BZ-Nui security. There have been multiple breakouts. Well, multiple break outs and a break IN.”

 

Shadow sighed. “Can you staffers be any less specific?”

 

Tufi spoke up. “The break in happened in Completely Off Topic. The breakouts happened in BBC, almost all of the Library, Bionicle Discussion, and S&T.”

 

“What got out?”

 

Windy joined in. “A little of everything. Remember that contest to build the best villain? A lot of those apparently came to life and got loose. You know what the Library’s like, so I hope I don’t need to explain that. You know what S&T holds.”

 

“Yes, I see. Just one question though… Who the heck would want to break IN to COT? And why?”

 

“Well, that’s what we were hoping you could find out,” Black Six said. “We know you’ve got friends in every forum that you keep in regular contact with. Given your activity rate here, we figured you’d be able to get to the bottom of it quicker than most.”

 

Shadow nodded. “Understood. I’m gonna check the Creative Archipelago first to see what can be found there.”

 

“Best of luck, Shadow.”

 

To be continued…

Edited by The~1st~Shadow
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~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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Thankfully there were no break-ins in G&T, I would really hate to clean that up. Right, I say we send Petewa into COT, Have Ghidora investigate the library, and Gukky check around S&T to see what kind of mess has been made. I'll look at Discussion. Who would like to delve into BBC? *Loads Kanoka disc launcher*

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"In this new- Wait, why am I being quoted?!"

-Kovika, Toa of Ice, Bread Enthusiast, and Ko-Metru Scholar.

 

 

 

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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Brother Petewa, you are going to invesigate BBC, no refusals. I'll send Petewa from Dimension 1002: Assassin Petewa, with you.

Wait, there's another assassin Petewa?

 

There 3 thousand assassin Petewa for what i understand.

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I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the Matoran Universe

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  • 2 weeks later...

No, Brother Rock, we must keep the Kanohi Flashbaki as our banner, it symbolizes the Three Kanohi Force Virtues: Comedy, Tomfoolery, and Hilarity.

  • Upvote 1

"In this new- Wait, why am I being quoted?!"

-Kovika, Toa of Ice, Bread Enthusiast, and Ko-Metru Scholar.

 

 

 

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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