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The ###### Mother

Good lord look at the filter A short story I wrote in the downtime

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#1 Offline Field Marshal Rakmon

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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:05 AM

Aright, so here goes:This is based off of a series of Dinosaur Hunting games called 'Carnivores'. The aforementioned charcter, the, Ahem, Hades Mother, is a reskinned slightly larger Velociraptor that came with a Source Code modification for carnivores 2, Carnivores Community Edition. And now here is the actual story: The two brothers ran. Behind them was a pack of Velociraptors. There was 5 of them. The brothers knew the only safe spot from the Raptors was the temple in the center of the Island. They could see it now. Running, they jumped across the lava moat and safely landed in the temple. Hissing, the Raptors ran around the Temple, trying to decide whether or not they could jump across. Finally, they decided to wait, knowing the Humans would eventually starve to death if they stayed there. It had been several minutes now. The Raptors were still circling the Temple. Suddenly, a voice unlike anything they had heard echoed out. "Your soul will soon fall to the one that is fast as the wind," it echoed. Turning around in shock, the brothers looked around, attempting to find the source of the voice. Trembling, the raptors Turned tail and fled, knowing from pure instinct the Temple was a place of evil. "Did you hear that?!" One of the brothers, Thomas asked. "Absolutely. It said something about our souls," Thomas's brother, Peter, replied. "Wait, I remember- in the brochure, DinoHunt said the engravings on this temple indicate a Worship of Raptors, calling it 'a beast fast as the wind, with teeth sharper than any blade'." "Cryptic, isn't it?" Thomas said, examining the walls. Sure enough, there were symbols engraved into the walls. "Hey, do you see this? In the center, there's some type of altar," he said, pointing at the middle of the Temple. "You're right," Peter said. "Wait, look. Off to the sides- is that blood?" "Oh my God," Thomas explained. "And look what else- the center of the altar. There's a spiderweb of cracks there. Do you think the things that built this sacrificed things?" "Such as?" Peter asked. "Well, let's think. You notice how there's a moat of lava around the Temple? This could be to keep the Carnivores from getting inside. It could also keep them from rescuing another creature. Do you think they sacrificed raptors?" "Why would they sacrifice their god?" Peter asked. "Several reasons. You really should've taken that ancient Cultures class," Thomas replied. They probably doubted the raptors here were actual gods- likely just incarnations of the raptor god, or a creation of it. They could've sacrificed raptors to honor it. Or maybe the Raptor god was a god of death, and they were attempting to appease it. Hey, look. There's a carving of a picture on this wall. I knew it- these beings- they almost look like some type of Ape- they're in here, and- Hm. What it looks like is that they worshipped this one particular raptor. Look at the one outside the Temple. It's slightly larger than the one here. It also appears to have feathers. And it's jet black, except for its claws, which are dripping something. Perhaps blood." "Okay, let's go," Peter said. "DinoHunt, get us out of here." It had been several weeks since then. Thomas had had a deam that he was being chased rhrough a dark cave by a huge black raptor with claws dripping blood. They were now going on another hunt , this time with a guide. The guide had been working at DinoHunt for several years now. He was taking them on a night expedition to the Manya Jungles. Lightly touching down, the guide, Howard Levin, looked around, signaling it was safe for the two brothers to land. Getting out, Peter gripped his Rifle, hoping this would be simple. Opening his mouth, Howard spoke he would be showing the brothers the more interesting landmarks. They had been trekking throughout the island for about an hour now. They were in the north, inside a treacherous canyon maze. "I'm over here," Howard spoke. Thomas and Peter, shivering from the cold, followed the direction the noise was coming from. Sure enough, Howard was there. A loud SHRIEK echoed throughout the island. Turning around, Howard fired a shot from his crossbow. A soft thump was heard as a Dimorphodon fell to the ground, dead. Inhaling, Peter began following Thomas and Howard as they continued to walk. It was ten minutes since then. All it took was one misheard direction in the foggy maze of Canyons, and Thomas was completely lost from his brother and guide. He opened up his map, but according to the radar, he was still right next to them. Trying to keep himself calm, Thomas tried to remember Howard's instructions on what to do if he accidentally got separated. Don't yell. The Carnivores will hear you. Go to the beach. Quietly trembling, he began pulling his feet in the direction of the Beach, not having the slightest idea his life was already forfeit. Peter was scared. His brother had took a wrong turn earlier, and was now gone. Wincing as the faint roar of a Tyrannosaurus echoed, Howard promised they would find him. Together, the walked to the beach. They were not the first ones there. A 4.53 ton Tyrannosaurus was there as well. He was whipping something in his mouth around, smashing it into trees. Ducking down, Howard signaled Peter to get down. The thing the buck was holding, it accidentally let go of, and went sailing across the forest floor. Sniffing the air, the Tyrannosaurus paused, then re-sniffed the air. Peter couldn't stop looking at the creature the buck had thrown. There, missing part of his leg, and covered in his own blood, was the corpse of his brother. Peter began to cry. He and his brother had always known each other. To know he would never see him again was, unthinkable. Suddenly, Howard pulled Peter to his feet and began full on sprinting. The Buck, smelling them, had roared in anger as Peter recognized his brother. And so, they ran. Faster than the Raptors which had noticed them, they ran. They never stopped. Neither did the Buck. Finally, Howard reached a dark cave. Running inside, he signaled Mason to get inside. As he ran in, the Buck almost bit him, head butting him further into the cave. Crying out in pain, Peter slowly got up, putting his hands on his horribly scraped knees. Howard motioned for Peter to be very quiet. Clamping his hand over Peter's mouth, they waited in silence for several minutes. The Buck sniffed the air and looked around. Turning its eye at the two terrified guides, it roared. Loudly, a responding Snarl echoed around the cave. The buck took a last look, and fled, running as fast as its legs could carry it away from the hiding humans. "Peter, I'm sorry about your brother. If it's helpful, I can call DinoHunt to pick up the body and bury it." "Please, do so." Peter said, tears flowing from his eyes. "Okay," Howard said. "DinoHunt, one of my subjects was killed by a Rex. He got separated from us. When we found him, he was being shook by a Rex. It let go of the body, though. My other client- his brother- wishes that you bury him. He was killed on the beach of Manya Jungle." "Understood," the Pilot said. "Moving to the drop area." "Excellent," Howard said. "Wait, I hear something. Get down." Quickly crouching, Peter watched the entrance to the cave. Soon, he could hear it as well. Footsteps were echoing from inside the cave. Realizing the situation, Howard threw Peter out of the way as a black beast jumped from the shadows, slicing a gash in his stomach. Blood still dripping from its claws, the Raptor from Hades bent down to feed on the still living guide. "Run," Howard gasped, collapsing. Screaming, Peter ran from the Raptor- Into its cave. Crouching down, gripping his Shotgun, Peter looked around, terrified of every little noise. Quietly, he slowly walked further into the Deep cave, hoping he would find his way out. Instead, gasping in horror, he found the Hades Raptor's nest. There in front of him, there lay many Green eggs. Several of them had already opened. Mason noted there were shattered Bones close to many of the Eggs. Shuddering, he ducked down, loading his Shotgun as he heard Footsteps. Suddenly the Footsteps stopped. It's going to go hunting. It's going to go hunt. It's not going to- A loud screech was heard. Blasting through the cave, with bright Red eyes and a bloody black body, was the Hades Raptor herself. Screaming, Peter began breaking as many eggs as possible, picking them up and throwing them against the cave wall. He almost got all of them. Almost. Screaming, the Hades Raptor, powered purely by Adrenaline, dodged (and took) every shotgun bullet fired at her. Roaring, she sliced at Peter with her bloody claws. Screaming, Peter fired another Shotgun bullet at her. It clicked. She now was so close Peter could count the number of feathers on her. Roaring, the Hades Raptor tore through his abdomen, spilling thick blood into the cave. Gasping at the Raptor's hot breath, Peter tried to inch away from her unblinking, scarlet eyes. She opened her mouth, revealing her yellow teeth slowly dripping Howard's blood. Trying to swallow his own blood, Peter opened his mouth in an attempt to scream, as yet more blood poured out from his mouth. With a final move, he weakly tried to push the beast away from him. The Hades Raptor merely grabbed his hand with her mouth, biting and ripping it off. her mouth expanded, slowly closing around Peter's head. Feeling the razor sharp teeth dig into his skull, Peter weakly prayed it would all be over soon. With a sharp snap as the mother bent her head to the side, his prayer was answered.

Edited by Field Marshal RMN, Nov 06 2011 - 10:39 AM.

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#2 Offline pls respond

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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:07 AM

i'm thinking that you might want to edit this to avoid incurring moderator wrath. just a thought.
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#3 Offline Field Marshal Rakmon

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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:09 AM

Yeah, probably.Question: Edit it to be less gory or to fix all the censors?
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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:23 AM

i didn't actually read it (sorry! i will soon though!) so i can't comment on the gore aspect, but remove the censored words. they're censored for a reason.
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#5 Offline Field Marshal Rakmon

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Posted Nov 06 2011 - 10:27 AM

Ah, the horrible case of tl;dr. Alright I will get onto fixing that.
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