Krana & Kraata

[Irrie]

Well, here I am! I present to you, my very first comedy! 
*Does MLG ninja moves* 
Alright, so I'll be updating this...yeah. It's going to be funny, I hope...um...read! 
We've also got hot chocolate!
 
 
 
 
One day, a Kraata Vo was slithering around The Irrational Rock’s house. Why, you might ask? Well, because The Irrational Rock had him as a pet. But you may be all:
“...but Irrational Rock! Kraata are dangerous!” 
They’re only dangerous if you don’t believe in the power of friendship, you n00bs! Everyone knows that Kraata can be excellent family-friendly pets! So as I was saying, the Kraata Vo (we’ll just call him Kraata) was slithering through his house. He went into his kitchen and began to ravenously tear into a bowl of mashed up bananas.
Then a Krana Bo, The Irrational Rock’s pet Krana, slithered into the room.
“You shouldn’t be eating that,” he said. 
“Oh yeah?” asked Kraata. “Well you aren’t MLG Pro 360 No Scope like I am.”
“1v1 me, bro!”
“No way, n00b! You’re not boss like I am. Get on my lvl.” 
“Why would I get on ur lvl when I passed ur lvl months ago!”
“Shut up, n00b, you’re not a 1337 h4x0r like I am!” 
“Alright, jeez. Anyway, The Irrational Rock is going to be really mad when he sees you eating that bowl of banana guts.”
“Why?”
“Well, he was going to use that to make banana bread.”
“Banana bread? Why not make banana muffins?”
“I dunno, the economy I guess. You’re going to have to ask him once he gets home.” 
“But they taste sooooooo goooooooooood!” 
“I know, but that’s why he’s going to make banana bread. By doing this, you are destroying his intellectual property, I think.” 
“Ah, fine! I’ll stop eating the bananas.”
However by that time, all of the banana guts had been eaten by Kraata. They then slithered over to The Irrational Rock’s room. 
“Hello, everybody!” called Krana. 
“Hi,” responded Hewkii Mahri. “Hey there, bud!” said Vakama Metru. “How’s it going?” asked Onua Mata. “Why does the universe or time exist?” said Makuta Krika. “Good morning, y’all!” said Vakama Hordika. 
They greeted all of the sets. They then slithered to the MOC table.
“Hello!” said The Irrational Rock’s self MOC. “I love crushing souls,” said the Pridak Revamp. “I enjoy eating faces,” said an unnamed MOC. “Only human meat can satisfy my hunger,” said another MOC. 
The two of them talked about the weather and stuff like that. Fun fact, the weather is an interesting topic to discuss amongst The Irrational Rock’s sets. In fact, they would make bets about what tomorrow’s forecast would be. The loser would be sacrificed to Obad-Hai. 
After the debate was over, they left the room and went outside. 
“Ahhh, fresh air! I love the grand outdoors, eh?” said Krana. Meanwhile, Kraata was cowering under a bush to shield himself from the sunlight. Krana saw Kraata’s fear of photons, and so he decided to use this to his advantage. 
He went back inside and came out with Kraata’s Rahkshi Suit. 
“Hey, what are you doing with that?” called Kraata. 
“What? Oh, nothing. Just disassembling, that’s all.”
“Stop that!”
“Make me stop!” 
Kraata now realized his predicament. Seeing that there was no way to avoid Krana taking apart his glorious suit of armor and selling for parts on Bricklink, he called upon an old friend of his. “Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.”
“What?” called Krana. 
Then, the ground below them split open, and out from it emerged a monstrosity unknown to man or beast. It was…
 
Philip the Car Mechanic. 
 
“Oh no!” said Krana. “Noooooooooo!” 
Philip walked up to Krana. He tried to do some epic Karate moves, but failed because he doesn’t take Karate. However, when he tripped over his shoe and fell on Krana. He then picked up the Rahkshi armor suit and carried it to Kraata. 
“Okay, thank you! You can go back to the underworld now.”
Philip hopped down the opening in the earth, which sealed after him. Kraata slithered up the Rahkshi armor and got into the cockpit. 
“MuhahahahaWAhahaha! Who’s in charge now?” he said in a cryptic tone. 
Krana ran back inside the house, with Kraata/Rahkshi in hot pursuit. He slithered into The Irrational Rock’s room and found a deactivated Pahrak suit. He climbed in, and turned on the robot. 
“Eat stone, slug!” he said as he launched a tiny pebble at the Rahkshi suit. It missed pathetically. 
They continued this quarrel until they found their way in the house’s foyer. Kraata/Rahkshi had smashed open Krana/Bohrok’s faceplate, and was holding Krana in his hand. 
“Yes...this will be the day that marks your demise! Let it be known throughout the world that I, Kraata Vo E. Richardson, hereby destroys the pest known as - aaarrrggghhh!!!”
It was in that moment that The Irrational Rock got home. As he opened the door, he dropped his suitcase onto the ground, which happened to be where Kraata/Rahkshi was standing.
“Ah ################################!” he exclaimed, as he let loose a curse word in a language unknown to many. He picked up his suitcase and examined the squashed Vohrak. Krana managed to slither away during this and hopped back into his Pahrak suit. The Irrational Rock gingerly opened the back shell to examine his Kraata. 
“Have you two been fighting to the death agian?” he asked. 
“No...yes...maybe…” said Krana. 
“Ugh, I can’t ever leave you two alone without fighting over something small.”
“Small?” cried Kraata. “He tried to sell my Rahkshi armor on Bricklink!”
“Was not!”
“Was too!”
“Well neither of you are going to see your armor for a long time,” he said as he ejected both of them from their Bohrok and Rahkshi suits. He picked them up and stowed them away in the attic.

Edited January 3, 2015 by The Irrational Rock

[Irrie]

CHAPTER 2 

 

 

 

Krana and Kraata were sitting in the basement, meditating. However they were disturbed by the spider crickets that roamed those parts. 

“Dem spooder crickets...I bet they’re communists,” said Kraata. 

“Sush! We’re not supposed to discuss politics on BZPower!”

“Yeah, because those communist mods put those rules in place.”

“Do you WANT us to get in trouble?”

“Kind of.”

“What?”

“I said kind of.”

“Why?”

“Your mom.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

They sat in silence for some more time, pondering The Great Thoughts. Then, they heard a crash from upstairs. 

As they looked up, they saw the door to the basement stairs being shattered  into millions of fragments. Down walked four people, clad in black robes. They were Hewkii Mahri, Berix the Agori, Onua Mata, and in the lead was Vakama Hordika.

“Behold, parasite and leech!” said Vakama. “It is us, the cult of the disembodied spider cricket leg!  Please evacuate the basement so that we can delight in our ruler, and make sacrifices of blood to the almighty spider cricket leg!”

“Alright, sure,” said Krana. They slithered past them and went back to the main level of the building.

“So, I was thinking…” said Kraata. 

“Really? Didn’t know you were capable of that,” interrupted Krana. 

“I WAS THINKING…about how we can get our armor suits back from the attic.”

“How? The door is locked, and only The Irrational Rock has the key.” 

“Simple! We enter through the window!”

“Kraata, the window to the attic is two stories high. How on earth are we going to get there?” 

“Ah, but you’ve forgotten that I have adhesive on my underside. I can easily scale the steepest of walls.”

“Alright, go ahead. Try. But don’t just bring down your Rahkshi suit, bring back my Pahrak armor.”

“Alright, alright! Besides, I’m a slug of honor! I would never disrespect your family heirloom like that.”

Krana snorted with disgust as Kraata climbed up the walls of The Irrational Rock’s house. He slithered into a small crack into the window. It was quite some time before he returned. In fact, it was approximately five hours and one minute before he returned. 

Krana was playing sai rummy with Makuta Antroz. He left the game to go see Kraata.

“Oh Krana! I’ve found them!” he called. Krana went into the living room where he saw Kraata and the two suits of armor.

“You certainly took your time.”

“Well I got distracted by something.”

“What?”

“I dunno. Just someting.” 

There was a long moment’s pause before Kraata spoke. 

“Alright, I confess! I was distracted by...by...by BZPower!”

“What?”

“I found an old ‘97 computer! And...and I got onto BZPower...and...and I read through every single topic in the S&T forum!”

“Why did you do that?”

“I dunno, I was bored.”

“Couldn’t you have brought down the armor suits and then read through S&T?”

“Yes...but I crave knowledge! Knowledge about...BIONICLE! I...must...theorize... “

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“Here comes The Crimson Sausage! These goons think they’ve got all the moves! They got no Karate knowledge! And without practice we know they will lose!” 

Kraata then proceeded to magically fly into the ceiling, where his adhesive underside caused him to become stuck. 

“Right…” said Krana. “I’ll be in the dining room if you need me.” 

About an hour later, Krana was in the dining room, browsing the many different topics of the Lego RPG forum. He then heard an explosion sounding from the basement. Curious, he left his laptop and slithered to the basement door.

He slowly opened it. Smoke billowed in as he did so. He slithered down the stairs, activating his innate ability to see in the darkness. He saw Hewkii Mahri, Onua Mata, Vakama Hordika, and Berix the Agori bowing before a gigantic mutated spider cricket. 

“We bow to you, O great one!” said Vakama Hordika. “We are your servants, give us your command so that your will will be known throughout the land!” 

“I want the BZPowerh home page to be updated!” shouted the monster in a deep voice. 

“It will be done,” replied Vakama. The four of them rose from their positions and ascended the stairs, completely ignoring Krana’s presence. Once they were all gone, Krana continued to slither down the stairs and confronted the spider cricket god. 

“Who are you, small thing?” it asked. 

“I’m a Krana.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a molded piece of softish-plastic that grants special powers to those who wear them on their faces.”

“Oh…then I’ll have to summon He!”

“Who is He?”

“He is my top advisor. Oh, He!” 

From the darkest corner of the basement came...He. After He emerged from the shadows, it turned out to actually be Mantax riding a flying carpet. 

“He...tell me what this thing is!”

Mantax looked at Krana. 

“That’s a Krana.”

“I knew it! The Krana lied to us by telling me it was a Krana! Kill it!”

“As you wish, sir,” said Mantax. 

They both looked at Krana for a long while.

“Well, I’ll just be going now,” said Krana. 

“Okay, see yah!” said Mantax as Krana left the basement. 

 

“Wait a minute...I forgot about my Pahrak armor!” he said as he hurriedly slithered to the living room. There he found both of the armors, with Kraata still glued to the ceiling. 

Krana got into the Bohrok suit, and picked up the Rahkshi. He took it over to the closet, where he began to disassemble it. Once he had taken it apart, he got his laptop and put the pieces on Bricklink. However just before he finalized the submission, he heard a laughter. Krana slithered back into the living room and saw Kraata piloting another Rahkshi armor suit.

“What...were did you get that?” he asked. “Your armor is just back in there…”

“Ah, that’s the fake armor! I tricked you Krana, I actually was wearing the armor the whole time! The one back in the closet is just a cover-up! MuhahahahaWAhahaha!” 

“Um...okay...can I still sell it on Bricklink?”

“Uh...sure.”

“Thanks. But before we do that, I’m going to have to destroy you.”

“Noooo, I’m going to destroy you first!”

“You smell bad!”

“I’m going to sneak some poison hemlock into your chalice!” 

They then continued to battle each other...but not with their fists or powers. No, this was a special kind of battle...a rap battle. 

The Irrational Rock happened to come home during the time that they were having their rap battle. 

“...sike, that’s the wrong numbah - oh...hi, Irrational Rock!” said Kraata. 

“What are you doing?”

“Spittin’ bars.” 

“Didn’t I take away your armor suits?”

“Yes.”

He picked up the Rahkshi and Bohrok and shook Krana and Kraata out of them. 

“Now I’m going to hide them so that you will never find them again.”

He left. 

“Great...just great,” said Krana. “Look at what you’ve done.”

“Fire...I spit that!” 

[Vrokorta]

This sounds fun.

[Irrie]

This sounds fun.

The universe sounds fun, doesn't it?

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 3

(Warning: It's very random)

 

 

Krana and Kraata were sitting next to the living room window, casually admiring nature. 

“You know, Krana...I wonder why The Irrational Rock doesn’t collect Kraata. I could use some more friends.”

“What, you mean that I’m not a good friend?”

“I see you more as a nemesis than a friend. After all, we do try to kill each other regularly.”

“Eh, good point. It does seem odd that I’m the only Krana around here, too.”

Suddenly, there was a massive explosion in the room. Krana and Kraata shot straight through the window, landing on the porch. 

“What was that?” said Kraata.

“I don’t know, let’s go find out.”

“We are human after all.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“You said something, what did you say?”

“Your mom.”

“What about her?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t talk about my mom.”

“Yes, sir.”

They slithered back into the house and found a parchment laying on the floor. Kraata read it. 

“‘You got the Crimson Man, he’s got a giant belly.’”

“What’s that mean?”

“I dunno. Maybe he’s friendly!”

Then, the parchment disintegrated into ashes, and from it rose...a flying vahki. 

“Hail, mortals! It is I, Mr. Flying Vahki Burger, or as I’m known on the street, ‘Lil FVB!”

“Did you just come out of that paper?” asked Krana.

“What paper?”

“That paper.”

“I see no paper.”

“There was a paper right there, it exploded and you came out of it.”

“That’s racist.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” 

Mr. Flying Vahki Burger flew around the room in circles because he had nothing else to do.

“‘Lil FVB, why are you here?” said Kraata. 

“Porque, yo hablo ESPANYOLO!” he said as he exploded. 

“Noooo! ‘Lil FBV! You were so amazing and smooth!” exclaimed Kraata as tears streamed down his face. 

“Did you really just call him smooth?”

“Yeah? So?”

“Nothing.”

“This story needs to improve its dialogue.”

“Why?”

“BECAUSE IT’S CUCUMBER!”

“How?”

“I dunno, it just is.”

“We’re still not allowed to discuss politics in our story.”

“Cucumber isn't political.”

“In some instances it is.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, didn't know that. Well, in that case let’s talk about plastic containers instead.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re part of the most plastic toy line ever.”

“Actually, the Kanohi Kaukau is only a minor aspect of plastic when you compare BIONICLE to other toy lines.”

“Like what?” 

“Exo-Force.”

“How is Exo-Force plastic?”

“I dunno, it just is. ‘Mech’ and ‘Man’ both start with ‘M’ so I guess that makes them plastic.”

“Wow. I never knew that.”

“One of these days I’m going to join the Illuminati.”

“What? Why?”

“I dunno, just because. Maybe the Freemasons, too.”

“You can join both?”

“I think so.”

“This plot makes no sense.”

“Yeah, let’s go to the park or something.”

And so, the two of them took a walk to the park. They went to the wooded area behind the park, where they sat by a gentle stream.

“This is relaxing,” said Kraata.

“Only to a certain extent.”

“What?”

“Well, you are aware of the fact that we encountered that guy back there?”

“Which guy?”

“The one with the suitcase and the mug of suspicious smelling liquids.”

“Yeah, he was weird. Let’s go home before anything else happens.”

It was at that point when Krana and Kraata realized that the plot had taken a turn for the worse, and the author of the script has lost all sense of direction for the story. 

“Maybe we should try to find our armor suits again?” suggested Krana.

“Yeah. It would make the plot a lot better than this random nonsense we’ve had for the first part of the chapter.”

And so they began their search. At first they had phenomenally poor luck. They then decided it would be prudent to ask around for any clues. They split up.

Krana was slithering through The Irrational Rock’s room. 

“Hey, Onua Mata?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you busy?”

“Well, I was going to go off to my cult meeting with Vakama Metru, Hahli Mahri, and Makuta Chirox. Why?”

“What’s the cult for?”

“The cult of the brown rocking chair.”

“Oh...okay. Anyway, I was wondering if you saw my Pahrak suit anywhere.”

“Yeah, I saw The Irrational Rock putting it into his safe on the top shelf.”

“Okay, thanks.”

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

[Vrokorta]

Honestly, this was the funniest out of the three. Also, whats with Godzilla?

[Irrie]

Honestly, this was the funniest out of the three. Also, whats with Godzilla?

Well, thank you! I guess randomness does help. 

I put the Godzilla there to symbolize the connection between this world and the other world; life and death, existence and destruction, n00bz and l33t. 

It's rather philosophical. 

[Vrokorta]

M'kay.

[Irrie]

CHAPTER 4

 

 

 

 

Krana and Kraata were on the floor, looking up at the filing cabinet. On top of was the safe that contained their armor suits. 

“So, I assume I’m going to go get them and bring them back down?” asked Kraata, referring to his adhesive underside. 

“No.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I don’t trust you. You’re probably going to get into your Rahkshi suit and destroy my Bohrok.”

“In fairness, you did try to sell my armor on Bricklink.”

“I’ve got to pay rent, okay! It’s not easy living on ramen every night.” 

“You have to pay rent?”

“Well...no...but I’m still tight on money. How ‘bout I ride on your back as you get them so that I can monitor you?”

“Um...okay...but it’s going to take a while with the added weight.”

“Kraata, you and I are tiny pieces of soft and rubbery plastic, how much weight do you think I can add?”

“I dunno. But if you say so, okay.”

Krana hopped onto Kraata’s back and he began to climb the filing cabinet. It was a long and tedious voyage, but they finally made it to the top. [/timeskip] 

“Krana?”

“Yeah?”

“Booger’s a dweeb, and Zipit’s brain is jelly!”

“Eh?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay, you’ve got to stop that, this is really annoying.”

“Stop what?”

“Saying random stuff and acting like it never happened!”

“Since when have I done something like that?”

The next moment, Kraata found himself being tossed off the ledge of the filing cabinet.

“The buyers on Bricklink will have your Rahkshi armor down to the last pin and axle, mark my words!” called Krana. 

He turned around and examined the safe. It didn’t seem too hard to open, as it was a padlock. He slithered up to the device and began to twist it. 

“Hm...hmmm...uh huh...em, interesting...hm…”

He tried several of The Irrational Rock’s favorite numbers. Eventually, he managed to open it with some critical thinking and spicy burritos. As the door swung, he beheld a Pahrak suit and Vorahk suit. Immediately, he opened the faceplate on the Bohrok and climbed in. Once he activated it, he walked over to the Rahkshi. He was about to take it apart when he heard a strange noise from behind him. 

“Krana...help…” said Kraata in a gurgling voice.

“Shut it. I know you’re trying to distract me from taking apart your Rahkshi.”

“No, please! Help me! The radioactive lettuce! It’s too much!”

“Quit your babbling.”

“Noooooooooooooo!” 

Then he went silent. Krana shrugged and removed the limbs from the suit. He then proceeded to taking the hands and feet off, followed by disconnecting the thighs and shins.

Suddenly, a bolt of green light struck the safe wall, almost hitting his armor. Krana spun around and saw…

Kraata. Floating in mid-air. With green glowing eyes. 

“Behold, mortal!” he said. His voice echoed with raw swagger. “The time has come for you to be destroyed for your meddlings with PAPU and RANGI.” 

“What...what’s wrong with you?”

“I was attacked by some radioactive lettuce, and I have since been transformed into Super Kraata, my species’ equivalent of Brutaka when he’s on antidermis.” 

“Well...that’s cool I guess.”

“Now I will destroy you!” 

“Du it, m8! 1v1!”

Krana then proceeded to make an epic slow-motion jump to attack Super Kraata. Still in slow motion, Super Kraata shot two laser beams from his eye sockets. They struck the Pahrak’s faceplate and send swagger-like electrical currents through its body. Returning to normal speed, the Bohrok fell down the filing cabinet and landed on the ground. 

Krana struggled to control it, but is efforts proved useless. The Bohrok armor was disabled, making him unable to control it. 

“You will pay dearly for this!” shouted Krana. “It is time that I summoned...HE!”

Kraata, now piloting his Rahskhi amor, jumped off the cabinet and landed next to the inactive Bohrok. 

“Ha! You know nothing of the fine art of summoning. Before I kill you, I’d just like to see you try!”

“Ah, but I took a course in prophecies in community college!”

“You do realize that prophecies can only summon things in rare circumstances, right?”

“Watch me!”

Krana cleared his throat and began to chant the cryptic omens.

“Veni, Vidi, Vici! Four score and seven years ago, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, there once lived a Hobbit in his Hobbit Hole. May the odds be ever in your favor, Harry Potter, King of Narnia!”

The ground below them rumbled, and a bright light shone. From it emerged Mantax riding his flying carpet. 

“It’s HE!” shouted Kraata. 

“Yes...it is!” said Krana as he laughed maniacally. 

“Heeeey guys. Wazzup?” said Mantax. 

“Yeah, I need you to kill Kraata here,” said Krana. 

“Bruh, that’s a little extreme. But...uh, okay. If you say so.” 

Mantax flew over to the Rahkshi suit. He held out his hands. 

“Kill, kill,” he said. “Meh, this is too much work. I dunno about you guys, but I’m going to get some pizza.” 

“No, HE! You can get all the pizza you want after you kill him! KILL KILL! MURDER IN COLD BLOOD! CLAIM HIS LIFE! EXTRACT HIS INTERNAL ORGANS AND STUFF THEM UP HIS…”

It was that moment that Krana noticed that The Irrational Rock was standing in the room.

“Oh...hi...back from work?”

“I’ve been back,” he said flatly. “And I’ve been in this room ever since you and Kraata came in.”

“We...we can explain…” said Krana. 

“I told you not to use your armor suits. I’ve tried locking them up, but that clearly isn’t enough to stop you. I’ve decided that the time has come to do it.”

“Do what?” asked Kraata. 

“I’m going to take apart your armor and sell the parts on Bricklink.”

“No!” they shouted simultaneously. 

“Yes. Besides, I need the money to pay the rent.”

Kraata shot an annoyed glance at Krana. 

“Well…” he said. “You can’t sell them if you can’t catch me!” 

Kraata turned around and ran, however The Irrational Rock picked him up. He shook the armor several times, and the slug came flying out. He then proceeded to do the same with Krana’s Bohrok outfit. He left the room. 

“Right, time to hit the drawing board,” said Krana. “I’m going to make a new suit of armor.”

“Can I help?”

“HE, sit on him. Make sure he doesn’t escape your booty until I’m done.”

“Alright, man,” said Mantax and he sat on Kraata. Krana then slithered out of the room, laughing even more maniacally. 

[Irrie]

CHAPTER 5

 

 

 

 

“Krana stronk! Krana has lots of clay! Gib monies to Krana!” 

“U wot m8?”

“Nothing. Go away, Kraata.”

“Okey dokey.” 

 

…

 

Krana stood inside his private laboratory (cardboard box) where he worked tirelessly on his latest project. For he planned to create for himself a new Bohrok body suit. 

“Ooooooh Krana!” 

“What, Kraata?”

The plastic slug slithered into the cardboard box, where he found Krana building the contraption.

“Word on the street is that you are building a new robot, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“I was wondering if I can help?”

“Ha! No way! You’re probably going to plant a bomb in it or something.”

“What? I want to actually help my best friend in the whole wide world!” 

“I said no.”

“Okay, but can I ask you something before I leave?” 

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you have to go kill an Av-Matoran in order to be able to pilot it?”

“Kraata, that’s way too much work. Besides, Photok and Kirop are the only Av-Matoran that The Irrational Rock owns, and killing them would make me public enemy #1 in the 2008 section of the room.”

“What if I kill them for you? I always enjoy the scent of the hunt...the screams of innocents...the pain endured by the unsuspecting...”

“That wouldn’t work either, because Av-Matoran don’t become Bohrok when they die. They have to transform.”

“I can cook up a magic potion that will do that.”

“If you can successfully do that, go ahead. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the last thing you see is Pohatu Phantoka’s helicopter blades speeding straight for your face.”

“Well it’s not like what you’ve got going right now is a good excuse for a Bohrok.”

“You have no appreciation for abstract art.” 

“They kick and they boo!”

“What?”

“I mean...I love your artistic talent!”

“Ur gonna get it m8!”

A few seconds of rubbery-plasticy fighting followed, and Kraata found himself being launched across the room. He landed in the fish bowl. 

“Yeah! I’m a fish! Glub, glub! I like being a fish! GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB! Kraata can into fishdom!” 

Meanwhile, Krana was hard at work. The robot was almost complete. The only thing he lacked was a power source. 

“Hmm...let’s see...I’m going to be needing something that has radioactive properties. However the object cannot be fully radioactive. Only partially. Like it was exposed to something radioactive, however not created as such.” 

It was then that he remembered that Kraata was infused with the energies from atomic lettuce in the last chapter. 

“No...absolutely not.”

Wanting to find a simpler solution to his predicament, he went and consulted the most skilled inventor in the room, Nuparu Mahri. 

“Hey, Nuparu!”

“Yeah, bruh?”

“I need a favor.”

“Oh yeah, mon. What is it?” 

“I’m requiring a power source for my creation. It needs to be radioactive, however not completely so.”

“Ah, yes. I’ve encountered this predicament many a time before. I solved it by exposing some stuff to some radioactive lettuce. It worked like a charm.”

“What did you use?”

“Rubber plastic. Not hard plastic, nor soft plastic. No, it must be rubber plastic. If you use anything else, it will become dangerously unstable. I would recommend some kraata.” 

“But...but...Kraata is the guy who I’m trying to destroy! And I can’t do it without any power in my suit!”

“Have you tried transforming an Av-Matoran?”

“Don’t even get me started on that.”

“Hm. How about ebay? You can buy some old Bohrok from there.”

“I don’t have any money to spare. Gotta pay rent.”

“Um...oh, I know. I can lend you my old Boxor (spelled with an ‘o’). It’s made from Bohrok parts, so I guess you can install a control point in it somewhere.”

“Hmmm...yeessssssss…”

“Problem is, I’m Nuparu Mahri. To get Boxor, you’ll need to buy my 2002 version.”

“No! How am I going to get an armor suit without any money?” 

“Weeeellll...The Irrational Rock at one point owned the Jetrax T6. It’s not a robot suit, but I guess you could run him over, or something.”

“Crude, but efficient. Where is it?”

“Oh, the Jetrax T6 was disassembled long ago. You’ll have to decapitate, debowel, and do other kinds of extraction to several different MOCs in order to retrieve the parts.” 

Suddenly, a hulking mass flew into the air from the fish tank. When Krana noticed it, he realized that half of the water was gone. As he looked up, he saw Kraata, only he was double his size.

“Hey, Krana! Nuparu Mahri! Look at me! I soaked up some of the water! Now I’m tall, like everybody else!” 

“And fat,” remarked Krana. 

“Oh no! My slender form as widened! I must expel this excess body fluids via perspiration!” he said as he grunted and wheezed. Ever so slowly, liquids started to ooze out from his skin. 

“Well,” said Nuparu. “I love watching people sweat and all, but I’m going to the kitchen. I’m going to get some banana guts.”

Kraata looked up.

“Banana guts?”

“Yeah. Banana guts.”

“I love those!” he shouted as he floated over toward the door. Before he left he turned around and floated to the shelf that Krana and Nuparu were standing on.

“Oh, Krana? Yeah, I can’t trust you in the room by yourself, so I’m going to absorb you into my skin.”

“What? Wait….aaaaarrrrgggg!” he shouted as he was sucked into Kraata’s body. 

“Alright, banana time!” 

 

NEXT TIME: Kraata eats moar bananas...and gets fatter!

CHAPTER 6 
 
 
 
 
 
“EAT MOAR BANANANANANANANANANAN.ILLUMINATI.ANANANANANANANA!” shouted Kraata as he smeared his face with the raw banana guts. Putrid fumes filled the air as Nuparu Mahri watched with disgust. 
Now while all of this was going on, Kopeke had swaggered into the room, clad in a sideways facing ballcap, a bright red vest, and a pair of J’s from the street. (Notice the Oxford Comma) 
“Hey what’ar all you boys doin’ eating ‘dem banan’s ‘n stuff, eh?” he said, whilst spitting some sick bars simultaneously. 
Kraata was too busy eating banana juices, so Nuparu Mahri had to speak. 
“Kraata is enjoying the taste of the snack that I prepared, and he absorbed Krana into his skin somehow.” 
“Hey, yo a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. We in the hood, now! It’s eat or be eaten!” he cried as he ate Nuparu Mahri. He then proceeded to attempting to fit his gaping mouth around the gelatinous form that was Kraata. He eventually succeeded in swallowing him, however not without much struggle. 
Kraata looked around him. He was inside Kopeke’s stomach. Next to him was Nuparu, and he felt Krana wiggling inside of him. 
 
Twelve tedious hours passed, before they were defecated into the bathroom. 
 
“Well, that was a glorious experience, eh lads?” said Nuparu. 
“MOAR BANANANANANANANANA.THE.GOVERNMENT.FAKED.THE.MOON.LANDING.ANANANANA!” 
“Kraata, there is no more banana! Kopeke ate the rest, which you cherished in as it joined us within his digestive track!”
“BANANANANANAN.THE.NEW.WORLD.ORDER.ANANANA!” 
Nuparu shot a Cordak blast from his gun. It exploded when it hit Kraata, and the liquid banana juices within him exploded out and onto the floor. Krana also slid out during the process. 
“Never in my life have I ever experienced a horror on a magnitude as great as that!” said Krana. 
“They don’t have a clue,” said Kraata.
“About what?”
“I dunno. Cucumber.” 
In the doorway, they saw Hafu, Onua Mata, and Malum walk by. They were each clad in black robes, hoods drawn over their heads.
“What’s wrong with you guys?” asked Hafu. 
“Kraata ate too much banana, so he exploded,” explained Nuparu. 
“Cool story, bro. Anyway, we’ve got a cult meeting to go to. We’re about to summon The Grand Wheat Thins Box to wreck havoc onto the front lawn. Want to join us?”
“Nah, we’ve got to get this banana off us first.”
“Alright then, suit yourself.”
They left. 
Krana slithered up the walls and found a tube of toothpaste. He picked it up, and squirted it all over Kraata. 
“That should immobilize you long enough for me to go get something to destroy you with,” he said as he left the room. Nuparu Mahri followed him. 
“Hey, Tahu Mistika! Can I borrow your ghost blaster?” he said as he entered the room. 
“Yeah, sure. What for?”
“Um...destroying the forces of evil…”
“Oh, certainly! I live for evil’s destruction! Yes, I delight in every ounce of pain that evil suffers...every life lost...every internal organ ripped out...every head removed...every dead body set on fire! YES! YEEEESSSS! PAIN! PAIN! DESTRUCTION! KYAHAHAHAHAHA!” 
Krana returned to the bathroom. However the toothpaste was gone, Kraata along with it.
“Oh no...he didn’t…”
“Hi, Krana!” said Kraata as he floated into the room, toothpaste seeping from his pores. 
 
NEXT: TURTLES!

MOAR TURTLES!

[user-402520536]

Um... whoa. Good job on this. I want moar Philp the Car Mechanic, M8.

[Irrie]

Um... whoa. Good job on this. I want moar Philp the Car Mechanic, M8.

U want moar, m8? U get some moar, m8! 

 

 

Chapter 6:

 

 

 

 

Krana dragged the toothpaste-infused Kraata into the kitchen. 

“Krana, where are you taking me?”

“I’m going to throw you down the food processor.”

“What? Why?”

“Because this will be my chance to eliminate you once and for all.”

“C’mon, man.”

“I’m gonna do it.”

“Don’t do it.”

“Still gonna do it.”

“If you do, Nicolas Cage will haunt your dreams.”

“What?”

“He will. This happened the time that I ‘took out’ Shadow Leech.”

“You’re the reason why he went missing?”

“Yeah…”

Suddenly, the floor below them opened up and they fell into a dark chasm. They saw a magical turtle. Then they teleported back to the kitchen. 

“Krana, this isn’t cool man.”

“What isn’t?”

“Your style. You need a complete overhaul if you’re going to be hip and modern like me.”

“But...wait, what? Forget this, down the food processor you go!”

“Wait! Before you cast me into the unknown, may I have a few dying words?”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

“Most snails’ livers are located at the top of their shells.”

“What?”

“I dunno, that just how the universe works.”

“Why did you just tell me that?”

“Fast fact.”

“Okay, goodbye.”

Krana threw Kraata down the food processor, and flipped the switch on the wall to turn it on. A harsh grinding noise followed. 

“It is done…” he said. 

 

Kraata awoke. He felt like he was floating. When he looked around him, he saw stars.

“Kraata…” whispered a voice.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Kraata, it is I...Philip the Car Mechanic…” 

“Oh, hey dude. What’s up?”

“Kraata...it is your destiny to summon...it…”

“What’s it?”

“The Crimson Sausage, Kraata! The Crimson Sausage!”

“Oh, yeah. That guy. Isn’t he one of the banned members on BZPower or something?”

“Well, yes...but...that’s not important now...”

“Then what is?”

“You must summon the Cannondale-Garmin Racing Squad!”

“What must I do to summon them, O Wise Philip?”

“You must speak with the legendary Sidorak, owner of Bionicle’s hottest bod…”

“I know, he’s smoking gorgeous. But what does he have to do with anything?”

“Time is running out, Kraata! Find Sidorak! Find his hot man bod! Summon the Cannondale-Garmin Racing Squad! Before it’s too late!”

“Ha, 2+2 DOES equal grapefruit.”

And with that, Kraata fell asleep. He opened his eyes, and found himself lying in the livingroom floor. He saw Krana slithering by.

“Wait...what?” he exclaimed. “I just threw you down the food processor!” 

“Yeah, but I got better.”

“How could you have possibly gotten better from that?”

“Listen Krana, there isn’t much time. We need to seek out Sidorak, the most gorgeous and manly Bionicle ever.”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“We must find Sidorak to summon Tyler Farrar! Only then will he win a good-sized amount of stages in Le Tour de France!”

“Kraata, you’re not making any sense!”

Kraata slithered forward and pressed his face against Krana’s. 

“WE...MUST...SUMMON...THE ETERNAL PALM TREE…”

“Pls don’t hurt me.”

[Vrokorta]

Seriously, kraata is krazy (see what I did there?) and really weird, I'm not even sure what he's supposed to be doing. But, oh well, guess I'll just have to see what happens.