Confessions

[MyOwnCreator]

Read the "writing a program" part of Cryal's profile on the BZPRPG profile pages topic (on page 5) and you'll get an idea of my mind is like. I'm depressed, am unable to feel pride, and I actively avoid talking to people. I sometimes think that everyone is part of a conspiracy to avoid my getting frustrated, and I vent all of my anger out on myself and make weird noises, annoying and creeping out everyone, and it started with my thinking that's what a crazy person would do. I tried to strangle myself twice in 6th grade, knowing fully well it's impossible to do that. Also, I hope to one day be a video game maker, even though it's impossible because so far I only know Scratch, which isn't even technically a programming language (although you can do a lot of stuff with it) and I can't even figure out platforming scripts. Oh, and I'm supposed to be doing Spanish homework right now.

 

It's good to get it out there.

 

Okay, those are my confessions. Now you. Just let it out. But please, no personal secrets no one wants to know. And no "I'm gay"s unless you are genuinely a homosexual.

 

I wonder if this is already a topic on BZP too...

Edited January 2, 2015 by MyOwnCreator

[Archer Vonn]

i felt similarly to you at your age. i think it's a good idea to find some sort of support system, be it a friend, parent, or counsellor, or even someone online. a lot of times those feelings of self loathing or depression at your age are a result of hormonal imbalances and don't mean you're actually mentally ill, and as you grow you'll naturally sort of out grow them. let someone know if you keep having suicidal thoughts, but don't try to use those feelings as a way of getting someone's attention. it's unfair to you and them.
 

don't worry about so much, a lot of it won't matter in the long run. especially if some jerk is just trying to make you mad. ignore him! it'll be alright.

[MyOwnCreator]

i felt similarly to you at your age. i think it's a good idea to find some sort of support system, be it a friend, parent, or counsellor, or even someone online. a lot of times those feelings of self loathing or depression at your age are a result of hormonal imbalances and don't mean you're actually mentally ill, and as you grow you'll naturally sort of out grow them. let someone know if you keep having suicidal thoughts, but don't try to use those feelings as a way of getting someone's attention. it's unfair to you and them.

 

don't worry about so much, a lot of it won't matter in the long run. especially if some jerk is just trying to make you mad. ignore him! it'll be alright.

Thanks for the advice, but this is meant to be a space where others can confess and let it out. And the jerk trying to make me mad is myself. Seriously. He is pretty much the only guy who gets me mad, beside internet trolls who make anti-Obama/anti-anti-racists/anti-feminist memes. I have like ZERO frustration tolerance. Sometimes I get a grip before I go nuts, but usually I can't. But really, thanks for the advice.

[Doctor Makuta]

Not being able to find a job is frustrating, also I'm regretting some decisions I made when I was younger. I guess the whole being able to remember yourself doing something can be a bit harder to swallow than forgiving someone else for wronging you.

Also I would't get emotionally invested or have a stake in what haters do. Its the internet, it takes no prisoners, every group gets made fun of.