Matoran Against Mata Nui

[aldero]

Preface: This isn't really a comedy. It's more like a Mata Nui fiction that doesn't take itself too seriously. I'm trying to make the story make some sense in the Bionicle Universe, so you, the reader, can latch on to the characters. There's nothing too serious or ridiculous in this. But I guess that's what real comedies are - people in somewhat realistic situations and the hijinks that ensue. Enjoy.

 

Chapter   Where It All Went Wrong

 

"Brother, why did you come again?" groaned Kopaka Nuva.

 

"Well, I've got nothing else to do. If anyone knows where my Kakama is, I'd be very willing to help." replied Tahu.

 

"And by nothing to do, you mean attending another one of Turaga Vakama's preachings at the Amaja Circle? I could just deliver it to you." said Kopaka.

 

"I need this Mask as soon as possible, brother. I don't want to keep myself waiting." said Tahu.

 

"Strange you mention that. I didn't know you liked traversing up icy mountains struck by snowstorm." mumbled Kopaka.

 

An icy mountain indeed. The two Toa were trudging through a thick layer of snow on the slopes of Mount Ihu, in search of Tahu's Kakama Nuva. In little time, the snowstorm went from slightly annoying to irritating. The Toa of Fire groaned, so Kopaka raised his Ice Blades and made the snowstorm calm down.

 

"Shame. I was enjoying that storm." uttered Kopaka. "But of course, the valiant Tahu Nuva will tremble when he touches a snowflake."

 

"Oh really? How does my frosty friend take the heat?" snapped Tahu.

 

With this sudden anger, Tahu shot a small jet of flame at Kopaka, hitting the Toa of Ice with a sting. 

 

"Pardon me, brother? said Kopaka. "Are you trying to challenge me in my own realm?"

 

"Oh yes, I am." replied a cocky Tahu.

 

With this, Kopaka charged up his Ice Blades and struck Tahu with a wave of ice. Tahu responded to this by activating his Hau Nuva, shielding him from the blast. There was just one problem. 

 

It also shielded Kopaka.

 

"Better luck next time, hothead." said Kopaka.

 

Just after Tahu's failed attempt at protecting himself, Kopaka's wrath had come down upon him. Tahu had taken the blow, and when he got up, swords ready, he shouted:

 

"Enough of this. This is no longer our war. This is everyone's war."

 

"Brother, why are you being so dramatic? And angry? Have you defected again?" questioned Kopaka.

 

"Hey! That's Lewa's job! And, why do you think? I'm angry all the time." snapped Tahu.

 

"You should really stay away from Gali..." mumbled Kopaka.

 

"Anyway, this means WAR!" shouted Tahu.

 

* * *

 

"And... Po-Koro wins the game against Le-Koro and Onu-Koro!" said the Matoran announcer of the Kohlii match.

 

The roaring crowds of Po-Koro cheered for their superstar team of Hewkii and Hafu once again, eliminating yet another Koro from the Kohlii Championship. The representative Toa were also at the game, with Pohatu cheering alongside his village while Onua and Lewa sat down in mild disappointment. 

 

"Brother, is it just me, or this Championship completely unfair? Kohlii is pretty much a Po-Koro exclusive sport-game, and they will crush-smash anyone who oppoes them on the field." moaned Lewa. 

 

"Certainly, treeswinger. But I guess you Le-Koroans prefer jumping aimlessly than playing an intelligent sport." laughed Onua.

 

"Ha! At least we are lively-free compared to your kind! You just sit-lie around in caves and ride-tame Ussal crabs!" replied Lewa.

 

Onua responded with a silent growl. This was when a shy Ko-Matoran named Kopeke rushed into the arena, quite desperately.

 

"Everyone! Everyone! Urgent news!" cried out Kopeke.

 

"What is it, Ko-Matoran?" asked Pohatu.

 

"Ta-Koro and Ko-Koro have participated in war! And we need your help!"

 

Chapter   Leaves and Rocks Are Ready, Stones and Water Aren't

 

The audience gasped. All three villages that had heard Kopeke's words were shocked. Pohatu stood up and heard the shouts of the Matoran spectators. The Matoran yelled such things as:

 

"Mata Nui! What caused this?!"

 

"Tahu is at it again!"

 

"We must stop them!"

 

"How are we supposed to, Pekku?"

 

"We will charge in with our Gukko birds!"

 

"Kopeke! You're finally speaking!"

 

Pohatu widened his eyes in shock. Lewa and Onua also stood up. In all the chaos, Turaga Matau and Turaga Whenua both stood up to address their villages, and Matau opened with a speech.

 

"Le-Matoran! We must fight-battle in this war! We must defend our honour-respect! Prepare the Gukko Force, because we have to defend ourselves!" he commanded.

 

"I stand with Matau! Onepu! High Commander of our very own Ussalry! Prepare your crab-riding troops! We must defend our homes!" commanded Turaga Whenua.

 

The villages of Le-Koro and Onu-Koro cheered, while the Matoran of Po-Koro looked around, confused. Turaga Onewa could not engage in this war, even if he wanted to. His village didn't have any kind of infantry - just carvers and traders. He was going to take a side in the war, but simply didn't. With this, Turaga Whenua stepped down from his post, and rallied up his Onu-Matoran, leaving the Kohlii field. Turaga Matau did a similar thing, whilst Turaga Onewa stayed behind to inform his village of his decision.

 

"Po-Matoran of Po-Koro! Since our village does not have an infantry, unlike the other villages, I have decided that we will be neutral. I blame this on Hafu, as he wastes his time on making faces rather than barricades." addressed Turaga Onewa.

 

"Hey! You never told me I should be making walls before!" snapped Hafu.

 

"Nevertheless, we shall send in our beloved guardian, Toa Pohatu... what, you're now a Toa Nuva? Fine. Our beloved guardian, Toa Pohatu Nuva will be participating in the war for diplomacy." said Turaga Onewa. 

 

"Wait? Diplomacy? I could just kick a mountain into dust and end this war! Now I'm used for diplomacy?" groaned Pohatu.

 

"Diplomacy is my word for participating in war, Toa." whispered Turaga Onewa.

 

"What's the status on Macku... errr... Ga-Koro? Will they be fighting alongside the other Koros?" asked Hewkii.

 

"Probably not. Too peaceful and virtuous. Seriously, I don't think anyone has ever had a debate in Ga-Koro." replied Turaga Onewa.

 

With that, the Turaga led his village back to the desert sands of Po-Koro, each Matoran with their own thoughts on the war. Hafu had to build barricades, Ahkmou wondered if his master was at it again, and Hewkii was thinking about Macku. This was surely going to be an interesting fight.

 

Back at Po-Koro, Hewkii was quite worried about Macku. Was she safe? Was she hanging up yet another article of Hewkii memorabilia? Was she fishing? Was she in danger?

 

Hewkii had enough. He decided to sneak out of the village and check on her. When Hewkii finally walked out of his hut and onto the empty road, someone had stopped him in his tracks.

 

"Where do you think you're going, Hewkii?" he said.

 

"Ga-Koro. Don't tell Onewa." replied Hewkii.

 

"Come on! I'll have to tell him. It's probably been the two-thousandth time you've done this!" he moaned.

 

"Hafu, Macku is important to me. I must check on her in this urgent time." asserted Hewkii.

 

"Alright, I'll tag along." responed Hafu.

 

Hewkii, now with Hafu, continued walking along the dunes of Po-Wahi, travelling a long way to Ga-Koro. This wasn't hard at all for Hewkii, as he had indeed done this routine many times. Once the two eventually reached the gates of Ga-Koro, they looked around the village, and noticed no movement or vibrancy that the village was known to have. Strangely, not a single Matoran seemed to step out into the sunlight. Hewkii and Hafu strolled onto the causeway, and were met by Turaga Nokama.

 

"Hewkii! You're here again? Oh, well... Hafu's here. This must be important. What is it?" asked Turaga Nokama.

 

"We came here on the... usual business, and we noticed the village was empty. Why is it empty?" replied Hewkii.

 

"The village is under curfew. Not ordered by me, actually." said Turaga Nokama.

 

Right as the Turaga mentioned this, she was knocked on the head, and collapsed onto the floor, unconscious. A large figure stood behind her, menacingly. 

 

"Ah yes, Hafu and Hewkii. What are you doing here? Do I need to do the same to you as I did Nokama?" said the figure.

 

"You shouldn't need to, Tahu."  answered Hafu.

 

"Why not? I have the upper hand, and I could kill you if I flick my finger." sassed Tahu.

 

"Before you do that, oh, and by the way, don't do that, tell me why you're doing this. It's unnecessary." questioned Hewkii.

 

"Beats me. Winning a war against a Toa with a telescope in his eye is complicated." replied the Toa of Fire.

 

"Hey, weren't you supposed to be menacing a minute ago?" asked Hafu.

 

"Thanks for reminding me, buddy. Let me just get out my Magma Swords and whack you across the head with them..." said Tahu.

 

To be continued... if I have the time to continue the story...

 

Chapter   A Little Help?

 

"Hewkii! Hewkii! Are you alive? Is your mask broken? Are you dying? Answer me!" yelled Hafu.

 

"Nuuuuooo.... I'mmm.... aaaaahhhhlieevv...." groaned Hewkii, just now opening his eyes.

 

"Hewkii! You're awake!" jumped Hafu.

 

"Uhhhh.... yeah. Why are you so happy I'm awake?" asked Hewkii.

 

"We've been here for such a long time! I'm so bored..." moaned Hafu. "You've been here for days... weeks... months..."

 

"YEARS!" uttered someone behind them.

 

"Nah, Nuju and I have been here for two days." said Hafu.

 

"Wait... what? Nuju's here? And why is he speaking Matoran?" mumbled Hewkii.

 

"< I do it on necessary occasions, Hewkii. >" said Nuju.

 

< > = Translated from Nuju's signature clicking and whistling - Prof.

 

"Only problem is that he speaks in Matoran on very rare occasions. I still don't know why..." said Hafu.

 

"< In memory of something I once knew and cherished. But you don't know that... >" replied Nuju.

 

"We might want to snatch Matoro if we want to translate this whistling. But how do we get out of this prison cell?" queried Hewkii.

 

"< You do know I can still use telekinesis, right? >" whistled Nuju.

 

"Let's wait for a guard to pass by. He'll come soon." suggested Hewkii.

 

Five hours later

 

It turns out that the guard wasn't going to come by so soon. The three ended up waiting a long while, until a Ta-Matoran guard walked by to feed the jellyfish in the lamps. The guard was carrying some sort of spear, with two prongs. Hafu recognised this as a weapon members of the Ta-Koro Guard used. The guard walked up to the cell Hewkii, Nuju and Hafu were in, and at that moment, Nuju activated his Matatu. He mentally grasped a heatstone out of the guard's belt, and silently brought it over to his cell. The guard didn't even notice. Right as the guard walked out, Hewkii started speaking.

 

"Yes! You got something! Only problem is that it's a heatstone." he said.

 

"We we could melt away the bars." replied Hafu.

 

"< That would take such a long time. >" added Nuju.

 

"That would take forever." groaned Hewkii.

 

"< I already said that, Hewkii. >" sighed Nuju.

 

"Well, it's our only way out of here." said Hafu.

 

With that, Hafu turned on the heatstone inconspicuously and placed it on the prison bars. It certainly did take a long time, as the bars were very thick protodermis that would take a blow from Onua or Pohatu to break. It was a long process that took hours with just a heatstone. When Hafu woke up to check on the progress of melting, he tapped the metal with his fist, and noticed that it crumbled.

"Nuju! Hewkii! The bars have melted! We can finally escape!" smiled Hafu.

 

"< At last, I am free from this lowly place! >" said Nuju.

 

Hafu managed to crumble the rest of the bars, and the three rushed out. They would have been off, if it weren't for some of the other prisoners. Among the prisoners were Kopeke, Macku, Kongu, Tamaru, and Hahli. When the trio opened Macku's cell, she immediately ran out and hugged Hewkii. 

 

"Hewkii! I was so worried! And... why am I hugging you?" burst out Macku.

 

"< Especially since this relationship isn't canon. >" muttered Nuju.

 

Yes, Nuju can break the fourth wall now. Deal with it - Prof.

 

"I suppose we'll be off-gone?" added Kongu.

 

"We certainly will be Kongu. Let's get outta here." replied Hewkii.

 

Chapter   The Fellowship of the Ring... errr... the War.

 

“Well, let us not idle-wait here! We must go!” exclaimed Kongu.

 

“Shhhh! There are guards and a Toa of Fire out there!” whispered Hewkii.

 

At Hewkii’s command, the group became silent and scuttled out of the prison. Slowing walking out of the floating cellblock, the Matoran looked every way in front of them to make sure that they could escape. As Kopeke frantically looked around to be absolutely sure, he spotted Agni holding a Ta-Koro Guard spear and pacing around. 

 

“Huu-hu-Hewkii! Hafu! There’s a Ta-Koro Guard member over there!” stuttered Kopeke.

 

“Is he Makuta?” asked Kapura.

 

“No, it’s a Ta-Matoran guard-watcher, slowthink Kapura.” said Tamaru.

 

“Is he Makuta?” asked Kapura.

 

“Are you stupid, fire-spitter?” snapped Macku?

 

“< He was banned from his village, so... yes. >” whistled Nuju.

 

“Could you please be quiet?” groaned Agni. “Guarding here.” 

 

“Yahhhh! Begone, Agni!” shrieked Kongu.

 

Shocked, Macku, Kongu and Tamaru jumped into the water, hastily swimming away to the shore. That left Kapura, Nuju, Kopeke, Hafu, and Hewkii outside the prison, now in the custody of Agni. However, before the rest of the company could react, the entire village shook in a wave motion. This continued for a short minute, gradually increasing in intensity. Then, suddenly, a tall, slender figure leaped out of the water and landed onto the platform. 

 

“The village of Ga-Koro is peaceful and serene. Not the place of a prison, Ta-Matoran.” commanded Gali Nuva.

 

“Bring out the Boxors!” yelled Agni.

 

As soon as Agni called out for help, he indeed got help. Thunderous footsteps filled the air as the mechanical Boxor vehicles stepped out of their sheds. Piloted by two Onu-Matoran,  the Boxors stood out menacingly as they faced the Toa Nuva of Water. The Matoran pilots adjusted the systems within a second, and the machines roared to life. Within a millisecond, two powerful fists shot foward. Gali didn’t even flinch. She activated her Hau Nuva, bringing up a defensive aura around her and the Matoran.

 

“Let us go, dear Matoran!” called out Gali.

 

“But I’m a Po-Koroan carver! I can’t swim!” cried Hafu.

 

“< Hello? Help for the elderly? >” clicked Nuju.

 

“We shall resort to flight!” said Gali.

 

Calling upon the power of the Miru Nuva, she lifted herself and the Matoran up in there for a split second, until she launched the company through the air with the Kakama Nuva, eventually landing on a nearby hill. 

 

“Well, that was a blast. Having a Toa Nuva around and all.” said Hewkii.

 

“Thank you for your help, great Toa.” thanked Hafu.

 

“Not a problem, carver, but I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you here. My village is in danger, and Tahu isn’t very pleasant when he’s angry.” responded Gali.

 

Before any of them could blink their eyes, the Toa of Water had dashed off back to Ga-Koro. That left the fraction of the company without direction or protection. Hafu walked up to a vantage point and looked over Ga-Koro, recollecting what had somehow just happened. The village was in ruin, and pillars of smoke rose from the huts.

 

“So... we just got captured, escaped from prison, got saved by Gali Nuva, and flown to the top of this hill. What a time.” sighed Hafu.

 

“< Hafu, little one, you’re not the narrator. Leave that to Vakama. >” said Nuju.

 

“Let’s assess our situation here. We need to find Kongu, Macku and Tamaru, find Nuju a translator, and not get captured again. But... where are Kongu, Macku and Tamaru?” assessed Hewkii.

 

“Are they along the shore? They would probably be there.” stumbled Kopeke.

 

“Then let’s go to the beach.” said Hewkii.

 

“The protodermis in the rock can be seen, but not in sand.”  mumbled Kapura.

 

“What does that even mean?” asked Hafu.

 

Chapter   The Trek-About

Edited March 27, 2015 by Professor Turnip

[user-402520536]

Ooh, nice. This is really an original idea. For a first episode, this is awesome, and I really want to see what happens. Your grammar is practically flawless, but you do have one part were you call Lewa Onua.

 

"Certainly, treeswinger. But I guess you Le-Koroans prefer jumping aimlessly than playing an intelligent sport." laughed Onua.

 

"Ha! At least we are lively-free compared to your kind! You just sit-lie around in caves and ride-tame Ussal crabs!" replied Onua.

Besides that, it's great. Keep up the good work.

[Akavakaku]

Interesting... I'd argue that the villages of Mata Nui actually declaring war on each other is almost as unlikely as a Toa of Pie, but I'm enjoying it nonetheless.