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The Adventures of Sumiki's Dad 3: Yo Yo Piraka


Sumiki

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They call me mad, while they are all mad themselves.

- Plautus, Menæchmi, V, 2, 90

 

CHAPTER ONE

cap'n's log

 
-----Sumiki, eminent wearer of hats, strode out of the ruins of the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. Only a few moments before had Team Farm Animals, as well as Sumiki's Dad, entered the a portal to the Matoran Universe created by opening a can of Spam.
 
-----Bob, who had not worn all too many hats in his life, followed Sumiki out of the building, across the parking lot, and into the Dulles Expo Center, where BrickFair was currently being held. Bob was unsure of much, but he knew a few things, among them that Spam was to be avoided. He also figured that, with the destruction of his current place of employment, he'd have to look for another job some time soon and might as well take an unpaid vacation across the street.
 
-----Sumiki strode into the Expo Center, flashing a ticket for Bob. He wasn't quite sure why he was dragging Bob along, but he figured that he may as well come in useful. If not, then, well, Bob just got to look at some cool creations.
 
-----A few twists and turns, along with a salutation to a passing Mr. Red, ended up with the motley duo at a nearly empty BIONICLE table.
 
-----Presently BLACK SIX wiggled out from under a table.
 
-----"SUMIKI," he said, stretching. "I JUST SAW YOUR DAD."
 
-----"Is he where I think he is?" Sumiki asked.
 
-----BLACK SIX nodded grimly. "HE'S IN TROUBLE, BUT YOU'D PROBABLY BE TOO LATE TO HELP HIM. BESIDES, THE TRANSPORTER IS TOO RISKY. EVEN I CAN'T CONTROL IT."
 
-----"I want to go anyway. Also, perhaps two people would be better able to control it ..."
 
-----BLACK SIX looked at Bob. "I SUPPOSE. YOU'RE GOING TO BRING ALONG THIS GUY?"
 
-----Before Bob could answer, DeeVee walked up. "I have it ready for the next journey," he said. BLACK SIX nodded.
 
-----They walked behind the BIONICLE table. BLACK SIX bent down and showed the rest of them the contraption.
 
-----"WE CALL IT THE TRANSPORTER," he said. "IT RUNS ON THOSE CLEAR TAHU MASKS FROM NYCC."
 
-----"How?" Sumiki asked.
 
-----DeeVee shrugged. "Why do you think I got so many?"
 
-----"ANYWAY," BLACK SIX continued, "I MADE A QUICK JOURNEY TO METRU NUI, AND IT'S NOTHING AT ALL LIKE WE THOUGHT."
 
-----"There were possums, weren't they?"
 
-----BLACK SIX looked stunned. "HOW ... HOW DID YOU KNOW?"
 
-----"Eh ... lucky guess, I suppose."
 
-----DeeVee popped in a clear Tahu mask into the top of the transporter. The small black box enlarged with the sound of a million Ziploc bags being ripped to shreds, expanding and taking Sumiki. Bob, who apparently was not a BZPower member, was left behind with the hats, both the ones which had been lent to him by Sumiki and the hats that Sumiki left behind when he, but not his hats, were taken in, spinning and reforming through dimensions into the BIONICLE universe.
 
-----He landed with a resounding thud. In his mind, the first order of business was to find a hat—preferably three.
 
-----No hats were to be found, and he felt naked without a hat.
 
-----"I feel naked without a hat," he mumbled.
 
-----He searched for appropriate headgear and felt a few in his pockets. Satisfied, he surveyed the landscape. Everything was rocky and charred. Nothing looked right even when the sun hit it. There was a large volcano in the distance.
 
-----"Voya Nui," he said.
 
-----He turned towards the sea to see a pile of humanity. The rest of Team Farm Animals, he thought, but he was too far away to be sure.
 
-----... yes, now he was quite sure; that was definitely Takuma who had gotten out of the pile first.
 
-----This is going to be fun, he thought, striding out to meet them. Edited by Sumiki
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So that is why DeeVee got all those clear Haus! I knew there had to be a reason! :P

 

Also, I like the callback to the previous adventures with the Ziploc bags and spam. Now I'm going to wait and see if the typewriter-using hummingbirds make a return as well. :P

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"WE CALL IT THE TRANSPORTER," he said. "IT RUNS ON THOSE CLEAR TAHU MASKS FROM NYCC."

-"How?Sumiki asked.

DeeVee shrugged. "Why do you think I got so many?"

 

I knew that was a secret purpose to all of those masks hahahaha

Everybody knows that one does not collect such a vast number of transparent masks unless one intends to power a transporter or teleportation device!

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CHAPTER TWO

resistance

 

-----Balta toiled away in the hot sun. The little fresh water on the all-but-barren rock known as Voya Nui made for some turbulent farming. He supposed that the process could be made easier by using their sweat for irrigation, but then he realized that they didn't sweat.

-----The Ta-Matoran, like the other five members of the Resistance Team, were now farmers. They only ever got away with it because they slept amongst the goods that they grew, and the goods that they grew were the only thing in the wasteland that the Piraka truly feared.

-----They, of course, were lip gloss farmers.

-----No one knew why the Skakdi gang were so deathly afraid of the stuff. Perhaps there was a traumatic incident in their past, or perhaps their kind was simply allergic. Either way, their new profession saved their lives.

-----Presently he looked out towards the scant tree line. A few odd-looking Rahi were coming up in a pack.

-----"What are they?" Balta asked.

-----Dalu shrugged. "No clue. But we just finished keeping the Kikanalo away by changing their glasses prescription, and I'm a little tired of keeping the lip gloss safe."

-----"I know what you mean," Balta said. "But it's worth it in the end."

-----Team Farm Animals walked into the lip gloss field. "Who are you?" Sumiki's Dad asked.

-----"I am Balta, and this is Dalu. We're two-sixths of the Resistance Team. Who are you?"

-----"They call me the Eggplant Muse."

-----"Niiice," Dalu said.

-----"Yeah, we're not exactly from here, so if you could point us to a Ziploc bag or some Pepto-Bismol, we can be on our way," Takuma said.

-----Balta shook his head. "I can't help you with that. I do have lip gloss, though. You should probably take some." He yanked up a few samples from the crusty earth.

-----"Why is this necessary?" Valendale asked, rubbing some on his lips.

-----Balta jumped up and smacked his hand away. "No, no, not on your lips! It keeps away the Piraka."

-----Brickeens blinked. "How exactly is that supposed to work?"

-----Balta shook his head again. "I don't know. All I know is that they've avoided us ever since we started working in these fields."

-----Team Farm Animals willingly took enough containers of lip gloss for each member to be armed with one.

-----"Now," Dalu said. "You said that you weren't from here, and ... well ... no offense, but that's kind of obvious."

-----"You know neither our names nor our stories," Valendale said. Xaeraz did not oblige with the associated dance; he opted to slap Valendale right across the facial hair.

-----The ground shook and the sky began to darken. Everyone turned to look at the volcano, which was at this point spewing smoke and ash from its peak.

-----"I guess it didn't work," Balta muttered.

-----"What didn't work?" Sumiki asked.

-----"The Piraka were going to put Teflon on the top of the volcano," Dalu explained. "Probably not a good idea, come to think of it."

-----"Look, we've got to get home," Portalfig said. "It's been a fun ride so far, but I'd rather be back in my own universe. Honestly I saw enough after those hummingbirds."

-----"I think we can help you," Balta said. "But first, you have to do something for us."

-----"And what would that entail?" Sumiki asked.

-----Balta pulled out a large container of lip gloss. "You have to defeat the Piraka."

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Another good chapter. I never thought lip gloss would be an effective way to beat the Piraka. Someone should've told the Toa Nuva that. :P

 

And speaking of the Piraka, I can't wait to see their reactions to encountering Team Farm Animals. It will be exciting, to say the least. 

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And speaking of the Piraka, I can't wait to see their reactions to encountering Team Farm Animals. It will be exciting, to say the least. 

I'm betting a rap battle will ensue.

 

YES! That would be amazing! B-)

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And speaking of the Piraka, I can't wait to see their reactions to encountering Team Farm Animals. It will be exciting, to say the least. 

I'm betting a rap battle will ensue.

YES! That would be amazing! B-)

SUMIKI PLZ PLZ PLZ!

 

 

Most of the rest of it is planned/half-written (formatting the characters is the longest step, actually). However, you can be assured that something of that ilk will be seen at some point before the final chapter.

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And speaking of the Piraka, I can't wait to see their reactions to encountering Team Farm Animals. It will be exciting, to say the least. 

I'm betting a rap battle will ensue.

YES! That would be amazing! B-)

SUMIKI PLZ PLZ PLZ!

Most of the rest of it is planned/half-written (formatting the characters is the longest step, actually). However, you can be assured that something of that ilk will be seen at some point before the final chapter.

Hah! I'm psychic! *starts doing epic dance*

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Most of the rest of it is planned/half-written (formatting the characters is the longest step, actually). However, you can be assured that something of that ilk will be seen at some point before the final chapter.

 

I am confident that any rap battles shall be delectable

and detectable

and respectable

and-ok I'm done

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Most of the rest of it is planned/half-written (formatting the characters is the longest step, actually). However, you can be assured that something of that ilk will be seen at some point before the final chapter.

I am confident that any rap battles shall be delectable

and detectable

and respectable

and-ok I'm done

I think you're lost.

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CHAPTER THREE

the piraka's story

 
-----Zaktan and Hakann walked around the base of Mount Valmai, silently looking at the Matoran who had been enslaved to do their bidding.

-----"Say, you ever think about getting the gang back together?" Hakann asked.

-----Zaktan smacked him on the head. "The gang is back together, you idiot. Where'd you think you were?"

-----"Nah, man. I mean, like actually do something cool again."

-----"We've enslaved the population of the entire island. What more do you want?"

-----"They still don't like our music. I rapped for them earlier."

-----Zaktan facepalmed. "Don't tell me."

-----"They didn't even like the Piraka Rap. I ordered them to enjoy it and had to hit them with another round of Zamors just to get them docile again."

-----"Of course you did. Nobody likes the Piraka Rap."

-----"I thought you did. I mean, didn't you write most of the lyr—"

-----"SHUT UP, DOLT!" Zaktan smacked him on the head again.
 

*-----*-----*

 

-----In the distance, Sumiki's Dad watched while stroking a not-so-nascent beard.

-----"Well?" Valendale asked.

-----"Are those the Pyramid People?" Sumiki's Dad asked.

-----"Yes, and for the last time, it's PIRAKA," Takuma said. "You'd be best served to not embarrass yourself in front of them."

-----"I think they've spotted us," Brickeens said.

-----"Hold your lemons," Sumiki's Dad said. "You may need to make lemonade. I'm getting quite thirsty."

-----"Do you really want me to?"

-----But Sumiki's Dad was gone, over the rock that Team Farm Animals had collectively perched their heads. One by one, they followed him down the cliff, single-file towards the rogue Skakdi. Brickeens tried his best to make lemonade with a banana hanger while half-sliding down the steep angle of the cliff.

-----"Hi there!" Sumiki's Dad said once he was within earshot of Zaktan.

-----"Who are you?" Zaktan asked.

-----"A big fan of lemonade," Sumiki's Dad said.

-----"Uh … alright, then." The Skakdi turned to Hakann. "I don't know what these things are, but please get me a new batch of Zamor Spheres. There are many of them and I'm fresh out."

-----"What was that about?" Pablo asked after Hakann scampered off to the Antidermis vat.

-----"I was … uh, I was just sending him out to fetch some lemonade."

-----"Oh, I made some!" Brickeens said. "Here you go."

-----Valendale passed the makeshift glass—made from a hollowed-out rind and full of what was basically a pulpy lemon juice—to Zaktan. His smile flinched as he downed it. "Yeth, that'th … that'th quite thour."

-----"So! What's your story?"

-----"What's … *ahem* what's my story?" Zaktan was taken aback. "No one's ever asked me that."

-----"Well, I think we're all interested."

-----"I'll tell you …

-----"Three summers ago, we were working in a big Burger King. We made minimum wage, had to clean up after strangers, and it was generally unpleasant. The manager was a real jerk and wanted to kill any employee that left—and he kept that promise. Never knew his name, but hey—nobody did. Nobody wanted to know. Anyway, we managed to quit, but that wasn't enough—this guy comes after us, and the rest of the crew has orders to disembowel us on sight.

-----"So we got creative. We moved way out of the area and started working as backup singers for a guy named MC Hammer." He paused. "Come to think of it, we never actually saw this MC Hammer, and we were paid even worse than at the Burger King, but we could at least quit without getting bounties on our heads.

-----"Well, we decided to start a rap group. Completely a cappella. It … it was really terrible. I don't want to talk about it."

-----"Oh, come on," Xaeraz said. "Let's hear some of it."

-----"No, I'm not going to."

-----"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

-----Zaktan stared at them for a while, then broke out into that goofy grin once again. "Alright, since you're being good sports about it." He cleared his throat and started limbering up.

-----"YO YO, PIRAKA, THE GANG IS ON THE LOOSE, NOTHING YOU CAN DO"

-----It was at this moment that Hakann returned. Seething with more anger than his armor color exuded boldness, he loaded his Zamor launcher and whacked Zaktan with one.

-----"Ohs noes! It is teh Zamorzorz …" Zaktan said, while his constituent Protodites stiffened up, ready to take orders from Hakann.

-----"Now it's your turn," Hakann said, turning towards Team Farm Animals.

-----"NO!" Balta yelled, breaking through Team Farm Animals and jumping towards the Skakdi.

-----Hakann fired a Zamor right at him.

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I can see The Shadowed One being the manager at that Burger King. It's a very funny image in my head. :P

 

Anyways, another good chapter made even better with more of Sumiki's Dad's randomness. Also, HOORAY FOR PIRAKA RAP! B-)

Edited by I Am A Walrus
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CHAPTER FOUR

emancipation

 

-----Fortunately for Balta, Hakann was not a particularly good shot; it was mostly by luck that he'd hit Zaktan just moments before.
 
-----Unfortunately for Balta, he was so close to Hakann that there was no conceivable way that Hakann could miss.
 
-----The Zamor struck him in the arm, but it was not enough to slow his momentum, and he came crashing into the Skakdi with the force of his entire body, leading with the item in his left hand:
 
-----"Lip gloss," Hakann whimpered, realizing what Balta had scraped over his gunmetal chest. "LIP GLOSSSSSSSSsssssYO HERE'S A STORY, ABOUT A LITTLE GUY WHO LIVED IN A BLUE WORLD"
 
-----"That's why they're afraid of it," Dalu said, rubbing some lip gloss on Zaktan.
 
-----Garan running over to a stiffened Balta. "There must be something we can do to help him!"
 
-----Valendale spotted the Piraka Stronghold in the distance. "That's where Hakann went," he said, pointing to it. "Perhaps the antidote is in there."
 
-----"That's as good a guess as any," Avohkah Tamer said. "Let's go." He flung Balta over his shoulder and began the trek up to the Stronghold.

 

*-----*-----*

 
-----The Stronghold was one of the more imposing buildings on the island of Voya Nui. Then again, there was almost no competition in that regard.
 
-----Garan and Velika pried open the front gate. One by one, Team Farm Animals snuck into a courtyard that could easily have been the setting of an average Tim Burton film.
 
-----"Alright," Portalfig said. "Let's get in there."
 
-----At that moment, a four-legged robot whirled around the corner of the building and charged at Team Farm Animals.
 
-----"Spread out!" Dalu yelled. They scrambled and let the whirling robot go past, only to have it stop and turn to look at them.
 
-----"We're being attacked by a Repair Nektann!" Takuma said.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad whipped out his lip gloss and hurled it at the Nektann like a shuriken. It punctured the outer layer, debilitating it.
 
-----Sumiki kicked the main door in, and soon the groups were running down a dank hallway. Presently they emerged in a large room, with a vat of green liquid dominating the center.
 
-----"Hello again, friends," Makuta said.
 
-----"Will Ferrell …" Pablo said. "You've made a bad move."
 
-----"More like a bad movie," Takuma added.
 
-----"I'm quite disappointed," Makuta said. "While you were 'adventuring,' I was tasting 100 different Madu Cabolo juices behind a waterfall and cried into a Turaga's arms."
 
-----" :???: " Pablo said.
 
-----A blurry picture of Jack Nicholson emerged from the antidermis, only to fade away once Makuta realized that he could not achieve a high-resolution image with such a technique.
 
-----"Release the Matoran from your spell, Makuta," Brickeens said.
 
-----"Give me a good reason."
 
-----Brickeens looked at Sumiki. Sumiki looked at Pablo. Pablo looked at Valendale. Valendale looked at Xaeraz. Xaeraz slapped Valendale. Sumiki's Dad rifled through his pockets.
 
-----"What is the Eggplant Muse looking for?" Makuta asked.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad held up a slice of plastic. "I carry this for emergencies," he explained while blowing on it serenely. It began to glow and morph, expanding exponentially as Sumiki's Dad threw it against the opposite wall. The plastic—a slice of Ziploc, no doubt—bloomed into shape, cracking the wall as an enormous possum trudged in.
 
-----"King Nernst," Sumiki's Dad said.
 
-----"Sumiki's Dad," King Nernst said. "A pleasure, as always."
 
-----"We require a favor," Sumiki's Dad said.
 
-----"I cannot get you back," King Nernst said. "It is well beyond my power."
 
-----"We just want you to flick your tail at that big green vat over there."
 
-----"Alright."
 
-----The great possum flicked his tail at the vat of antidermis. It shattered into a million pieces, sending Makuta's essence floating away through a hole in the ceiling.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad turned to thank King Nernst, but the enormous marsupial had already left.

Edited by Sumiki

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The return of Will Ferrell and King Nernst. Everythings better with them around. :)

 

Sumiki's Dad also proved himself to be able to win a fight when he took out the Nektann. Who knew he was such a good fighter? :P

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Sumiki's Dad also proved himself to be able to win a fight when he took out the Nektann. Who knew he was such a good fighter? :P

It did only say that it was (presumably temporarily) debilitated. I'd love for it to make a comeback.

 

It's a Repair Nektann; it wouldn't do much even if it did revive. :P

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Sumiki's Dad also proved himself to be able to win a fight when he took out the Nektann. Who knew he was such a good fighter? :P

It did only say that it was (presumably temporarily) debilitated. I'd love for it to make a comeback.

It's a Repair Nektann; it wouldn't do much even if it did revive. :P

Aww, man. I'd love to see Team Farm Animals repeatedly banging on it with collapsible celery and all it could do to fight back was heal them.

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CHAPTER FIVE

the descent begins

 
-----Balta jerked awake on Avohkah Tamer's shoulder. "YO. That was strange." He whacked the nearest shoulder blade. "Put me down! You're oddly hairy and I'm unnerved."
 
-----The Ta-Matoran hit the ground pacing, waving off offers of hugs from his fellow Resistance Team members. "We know that the lip gloss causes Piraka to rap and/or sing uncontrollably."
 
-----"So we find a way to get them with lip gloss?" Piruk asked.
 
-----"Of course." Balta turned to Team Farm Animals. "Forget what we said about y'all having to do it—now that we know how, I'm sure we'll get it done on our own."
 
-----After a few more pleasantries and goodbye, Team Farm Animals exited the premises and traveled back to the spot where Hakann had been last spotted singing the only Eiffel 65 song that anyone had ever known. When they got back, the Skakdi had worked his way back through music history and was belting out the finale of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in perfect German.
 
-----"This is very ironic if you're familiar with the Schiller poem that Beethoven set," Sumiki said. "Did you know that this was the first real choral symphony? No one was sure what was go—" [sLAP]
 
-----"Okay, fellows, let's figure out a game plan," Avohkah Tamer said. "No Ziploc, no Spam, no Pepto-Bismol and no gigantic possums. What will we do?"
 
-----"Do any of you remember the 2006 story?" Portalfig asked. "We just need to find the Mask of Life."
 
-----"How will that help?" Valendale asked.
 
-----Portalfig shrugged. "Can't hurt."
 
-----"Right. Well, where do we start?" Sumiki's Dad asked.
 
-----"No idea!" Portalfig said.
 
-----Sumiki yanked out a small hat. He threw it in the air and it was pulled to the right before it fell to the dry earth again. "It's that way."
 
-----"Since when do you have a magic hat?" Brickeens asked.
 
-----"Since when do you not?" Sumiki replied.
 

*-----*-----*

 
-----Team Farm Animals trekked across Voya Nui, traveling by the guidance of the magic hat. They were well into the Green Belt at this point. Presently they began to smell something.
 
-----"I'm beginning to smell something," Pablo said.
 
-----"Yeah, me too," Valendale said. He sniffed again. "Smells like … Wal-Mart."
 
-----At this point everyone had stopped in their tracks. Soon, everyone bent over and began sniffing wildly, rooting around the air for something. Everyone ended up converging on Takuma's pocket.
 
-----Takuma tentatively reached into the pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich.
 
-----"How long has that been there?" Xaeraz asked. He was too distressed to slap Takuma for the molding sandwich.
 
-----"Uh … you know when I first got to Mata Nui?"
 
-----"Yeah?"
 
-----"The day before that."
 
-----Xaeraz swallowed hard, grabbed the sandwich, and slapped Takuma across the face with it.
 

*-----*-----*

 
-----Team Farm Animals entered a clearing. Before them lay a cave entrance that looked like it went deep into the heart of the island.
 
-----"That's it," Sumiki said. On cue, the magic hat flew deep into the tunnel.
 
-----"I guess that's it, then," Portalfig said.
 
-----"That's my hat," Sumiki said. "I like my hat."
 
-----Sumiki charged into the tunnel.
 
-----"You know," Valendale said. "I haven't had a bubble bath in a week. It's really driving me crazy."

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So Wal-mart smells like an old chicken sandwish. I was wondering what that smell was the last time I was in one of those stores! :P

 

Anyways, I probably should've guessed that the Ignika would play a role in the story. I wonder how it will react when Team Farm Animals finds it. 

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CHAPTER SIX

visions

 

-----The tunnel was mostly dark, but enough lightstones were embedded into the walls for Team Farm Animals to be able to see. Portalfig began the count to 777 but lost track at around 110, which is where they came to what appeared to be a fork in the tunnel.
 
-----"Where to?" Avohkah Tamer asked.
 
-----Sumiki was sulking over the loss of his hat. The rest of the group had just caught up to him, staring intently between the two paths.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad, meanwhile, went a few steps down the left side and returned with what appeared to be a large and dirty cotton ball. His face shone excitement. "You know what this is, right?"
 
-----"Nope," Xaeraz replied.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad held it up. "This may look like a dust bunny, but it's actually dandruff."
 
-----"DANDRUFF?"
 
-----"From King Nernst. He's been here."
 
-----" :???: " Pablo said.
 
-----Without warning, Sumiki's Dad stuck the dandruff in his left armpit and fell immediately into a trance.
 
-----Twenty-one seconds later, he snapped out of it. "We go left," he said.
 
-----"Why?" Portalfig asked.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad pulled out the dandruff. "This is Nernst Dandruff. It allows visions that occur precisely 21.2 seconds into the future. We shouldn't go right."
 
-----Team Farm Animals followed him to the left and turned a corner, only to be greeted by a gigantic Gadunka.
 
-----"Colonel Blimpie!" Valendale said.
 
-----"Good to see you," Sumiki's Dad said.
 
-----"NO BLIMPIE. BLIMPIE BAD," the Gadunka roared. 
 
-----"Ugh. Maybe we should have given this one a root canal," Takuma said. "Also a thorough cleaning." His attempts at wafting the Gadunka's halitosis away were futile.
 
-----The Gadunka burped and then charged at Team Farm Animals, curling up into a ball and rolling at them like either that one scene from the first Indiana Jones movie or a mega-sized bowling lane.
 
-----"It's feeding off our fear," Portalfig said. "Quick, whoever's afraid of this … STOP!"
 
-----The Gadunka turned and begin to fade from view.
 
-----"Whew. That was close," Valendale said.
 
-----As soon as he got off the ground, the old Wal-Mart Smiley Face materialized before them. Valendale screamed.
 
-----" :) ," :) said.
 
-----Valendale paused to inhale, only to continue screaming.
 
-----"What's he afraid of?" Portalfig asked.
 
-----"Wal-Mart," Sumiki replied.
 
-----In one swift motion, Sumiki grabbed most of the moldy chicken sandwich from Takuma and threw it at Valendale, breaking his concentration and dematerializing :) .
 
-----" :) ," :) said, fading away.
 
-----"Let's keep moving before more fears keep popping up," Sumiki said.
 
-----They turned another corner to come face-to-face with a bonfire made of hats.
 
-----"YOU DON'T EXIST," Sumiki screamed, crying. He stormed right through the vision.
 


*-----*-----*

 
-----Portalfig began to count again, and he reached 400 when they came across a cavern.
 
-----"I AM THE MASK GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE MASK," came a deep voice from across the cavern.
 
-----"VEZON QUIVERS BEFORE YOU!" Xaeraz yelled back.
 
-----Umbra rolled out of the shadows, staring at Team Farm Animals through his mask.

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Who knew people were afraid of Wal-mart? (Actually, I can see that being a thing. :P)

 

I'm really happy to see Umbra get some attention in this. I can't wait to see how Team Farm Animals deal with him. :)

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Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story.


 


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I'm really happy to see Umbra get some attention in this. I can't wait to see how Team Farm Animals deal with him. :)

COLLAPSIBLE CELERY! :smash: 

 

That works on Makuta Will Ferrel, a being of darkness. Umbra is someone who turn into a beam of light, so I don't know that will be effective on him.

 

Maybe un-collapsible celery will work on him instead? :P

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Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story.


 


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I'm really happy to see Umbra get some attention in this. I can't wait to see how Team Farm Animals deal with him. :)

COLLAPSIBLE CELERY! :smash: 

That works on Makuta Will Ferrel, a being of darkness. Umbra is someone who turn into a beam of light, so I don't know that will be effective on him.

 

Maybe un-collapsible celery will work on him instead? :P

PEPTO-BISMOL! :smash: 

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CHAPTER SEVEN

guardian of the mask

 

 
-----Umbra, strangely enough, was wearing clothes right out of an 80s hair band.
 
-----"You look like you're out of an 80s hair band," Sumiki's Dad said.
 
-----Pablo began to launch into The Safety Dance on his kazoo, but Xaeraz slapped it away.
 
-----"You shall not pass," Umbra said.
 
-----"Okay," Takuma said. "Can we, like, maybe just take a peek?"
 
-----"You shall not pass," Umbra repeated.
 
-----"Quite the conversationalist," Valendale deadpanned.
 
-----"Yeah, I'm just going to go reaaaaaal slooooooooow," Portalfig said. He took one step, only for Umbra to turn into a beam of light and launch at Portalfig, almost instantaneously knocking him backwards and into Xaeraz.
 
-----"You shall not pass."
 
-----"Yeah, we get the message," Takuma said.
 
-----"Alright, let's do some planning," Sumiki said. Team Farm Animals took a few steps back up the stairs from whence they had come and huddled up.
 
-----"We can't get past him," Portalfig said. "Otherwise he'll put me on high power instead of just a little toasting."
 
-----"Toast …" Takuma said. "Sorry, I'm a little hungry."
 
-----"You still have that sandwich?" Sumiki asked.
 
-----"You can't smell it?" Valendale asked.
 
-----"About a quarter, actually," Takuma said. He pulled out select crumbs which more or less resembled blue cheese. "Would you like some?"
 
-----Sumiki swallowed hard. "Let's just see if we can distract him with it," he said.
 
-----They de-huddled and walked back towards Umbra's mini-cavern. Takuma threw out the crumbs. Umbra was unfazed.
 
-----"You want some?" Sumiki asked. "We're sorry for trying to get past."
 
-----"It's a peace offering," Takuma said.
 
-----"Don't oversell it," Valendale whispered.
 
-----Umbra moved slightly, gently bending down to examine one of the moldy bits.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad, sensing … something, made a run for it along the back wall, only to have Umbra launch him backwards like Portalfig had been launched. He was still conscious as he slid back towards Team Farm Animals, but he was muttering something about chicken psychology.
 
-----"It's no use," Avohkah Tamer said. "We can't go forward."
 
-----"No … I guess we'll have to go backwards," Valendale said.
 
-----"Wait a minute," Takuma said. "I've got an idea." With that, he ran back up the steps.
 
-----"Where's he going?" Xaeraz asked.
 
-----"Why?" Avohkah Tamer asked.
 
-----"I was going to slap him for good luck."
 
-----"Just double up when he gets back."
 
-----Xaeraz was not altogether happy with this arrangement, but settled for it.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad was gradually coming to, but, of course, no one could really tell if he was back or not.
 
-----Team Farm Animals stopped in their tracks. Something was shaking the ground.
 
-----"This can't be good," Brickeens said.
 
-----The source of the commotion was, in fact, a raggedy old bus. Through a filthy, cracked windshield, Takuma peered out, screaming for his life as he drove it down the steps. The bus squeaked at every step and gave off a terrible odor not unlike the sandwich.
 
-----The bus began to bounce even more radically. Takuma jumped out, landing and rolling like he was in some kind of action movie. The rest of Team Farm Animals plastered themselves on the walls to let the careening bus pass.
 
-----It hit a fascinated Umbra square in the chest and rolled over him. The bus came to a stop after the impact but was still mostly intact.
 
-----Team Farm Animals ran up to inspect the wreckage. Takuma, who apparently held some psychic control over this bus, waved the door open and hopped in. Everyone else stuck their head in to see what was going on.
 
-----The bus was full of dishwashers. All makes and models were represented.
 
-----"It's an appliance bus," Portalfig said. He whipped out his magic stethoscope and pressed it against the outside of the bus. "They're rapping."
 
-----"Rapping?" Sumiki asked. "What are they rapping?"
 
-----Portalfig's face paled. "The Piraka Rap."
 
-----Presently a minivan crashed into the back of the bus. Portalfig ran to open what remained of one of the doors, only to be greeted by a horde of toasters.
 
-----"This is quite unusual," Brickeens said.
 
-----Sumiki's Dad ambled over and beamed at the sight of the toasters. "Groupies! I wondered when they'd show up."
 
-----Simultaneously, the toasters ejected thoroughly burnt toast. Some were on fire.
 
-----"Toast," he said, picking up one of the less flaming pieces and taking a bite from it.

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