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Liberation Fray

BIONICLE Okoto LoSS

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#1 Offline Uhmbra

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Posted Apr 03 2015 - 12:49 PM

A short story I wrote about the Master's fight with the Lord of Skull Spiders. Pretty awful, as this is literally the first fictional text I have ever written. As such, any criticism is appreciated. Indentations didn't work because of Google Docs and the forum code.

 

"LIBERATION FRAY"

 

Gali had no hope left inside of her.

To her left, her staff lay broken in two halves. To her right, her brother Pohatu, the Master of Stone, was on his knees, gasping for breath. The armor on his leg was shattered, and a thick webbing entombed his left arm.

Gali turned her head upwards. Ahead of her, at the end of a stone bridge, Onua tried to keep the monster at bay. His two silver claws met with each of the front legs of the Lord of Skull Spiders. Those legs hid the eight ruby eyes of the creature from view, along with it’s four massive fangs - and the Golden Mask of Skull Spiders in between them.

She turned her head downward again, bringing the three remaining Masters into view. Kopaka lumbered towards Onua, stumbling at almost every step. Tahu leaned against the pillar nearest Gali, his golden blades held loosely by his limp arms. Lewa hovered next to Tahu, attempting to bring the Master of Fire to his senses again. I’m sure I’ve had worse days, she thought, but none come to mind...

“Sister!” Pohatu barked, “we can’t give up on our brothers yet!” The Master of Stone rose, slowly, to his feet, and summoned all of his might to pull the webbing off of his arm.

Gali gave him a quick nod and pulled herself upwards, grabbing the top piece of her shard as she did. She took two long, stumbling strides forward. When she had regained her footing, Gali burst into a sprint towards Onua.

~

The Master of Earth had held his own for as long as he could, although he could feel his power waning. Onua’s claws tore at the Lord of Skull Spiders’ massive form again and again, but the beast countered every blow with it’s armored legs. Onua knew he could not keep his opponent away from his allies much longer.

This aggravated the Master of Earth to no imaginable end.

Onua’s anger built up inside him until he could not take it any longer. In one last move, he forced his claws into the stone of the island he stood on, and his mask began to glow dimly.

The duelists were situated between eight massive pillars, all very tall and unbelievably heavy. On Onua’s command, the eight of them began to quake and crumble. After only a few seconds, each pillar burst violently, sending hundreds of rock shards at the Lord of Skull Spiders.

Onua felt like the entire move took hours. Again and again, the massive chunks of earth pounded the creature’s black armor, and it hissed helplessly with each impact. In reality, the dust settled quickly. The Lord of Skull Spiders moaned in pain for a short moment, but his armor had stayed completely intact.

“It… barely scratched this thi-”

Before he even had a chance to speak, Onua was back where he had begun, wasting all of his energy to keep his grotesque enemy at bay.

~

Pohatu was rarely impressed. Gali was perhaps the only of his teammates who had earned his admiration.

The Master of Stone was right behind his sister, darting towards Onua and the Lord of Skull Spiders. As they approached, Pohatu gathered a long tendril of sand, which danced in the wind behind his right arm.

“Onua, watch out!” Pohatu shouted, as he and Gali arrived on the island. POhatu and the Master of Water jumped high into the air above Onua, and Pohatu forced all the sand at his command into his enemy’s eyes. As soon as he did, Gali made her move. She twirled her staff high above her head, before letting herself fall onto the Lord’s head.

Pohatu watched as the creature threw itself backwards as quickly as it could, and heard it’s deafening shriek as it hurled Gali back towards the ground. At the edge of the island, the monster writhed in pain. Gali had pierced it’s skull with her staff, and bright orange blood trickled from the wound. After a few seconds, it’s legs curled towards it’s body, and the Lord of Skull Spiders was still. The Golden Mask of Skull Spiders dropped from it’s limp mouth.

The three Masters sighed in relief.

“We… did it!” Onua declared gleefully.

~

Hovering low in front of Tahu was Lewa, the Master of Jungle.

Tahu breathed heavily, then looked upwards to Lewa and said “Help me stand, brother.”

Lewa reached out his hand, and pulled Tahu up when he did the same. “You’re certainly in no fighting condition, firespitter…” Lewa decided, although as he heard Onua, Pohatu, and Gali cheering, he realized that fact might be irrelevant.

The Master of Jungle turned to face the island, and saw the body of the Lord of Skull Spiders curled against the remains of a stone pillar. He commanded the air around him to lift him higher, and he flew to examine the corpse. Lewa recognized the work of Gali’s spear on the beast’s head, before his eyes were pulled to the golden mask at his feet.

The likeness of a Skull Spider unnerved him, but he knew that a simple mask posed no threat. When he picked the mask up, he was shocked at how cold it felt in his hands, and thought we could hear raspy whispers emanating from it’s surface.

He was not given long to contemplate the mask before a powerful force collided with his chest, sending him tumbling off the side of the island. The mask was gone. As he caught himself on the wind, he could see black legs twisting and turning above him. Soaring high into the air, he saw a terrifying sight. The Lord of Skull Spiders still lived - and had reclaimed it’s golden mask.

My, the fun never ends here on Okoto, Lewa joked to himself, as he raised his twin axes and released a gale-force wind at his enemy.

~

Golden light. Heat. Fire. Tahu could think of nothing else at that moment. His blades met with teeth, armor and spines over and over again. The Lord of SKull Spiders had proved itself, if nothing else, as an extremely tenacious opponent.

Around Tahu, the other five Masters threw everything they could at the monster. Six golden masks glowed as the six combined elements tried futily to bring their opponent down again. Two of the Lord’s six legs were wrapped in a thick shell of ice by Kopaka, although the enemy carried on as if it didn’t even notice.

Tahu’s opponent forced it’s massive head into his with all it’s strength, tossing him backwards like he was a wet rag. As his roll slowed as he approached the island’s edge, he could see a new threat approaching. Far below their tiny battlefield, an army of new enemies encroached on Tahu and the other Masters.

“Onua! Come quickly!” the Master of Fire demanded, as he drew his massive silver blades from his back.

Onua was at his side in a moment. “Now, with me, brother,” Tahu said. Onua raised held his hammer over the side of the island. The Skull Spiders were dangerously close, and Tahu frantically touched his swords to Onua’s weapon. Shards of rock began to burst out of the island’s side, and as Tahu channeled his elemental power down the Master of Earth’s hammer, the shards burst into molten lava. The Skull Spiders were enveloped entirely and incinerated.

Tahu’s victory was short lived. A second horde of Skull Spiders began climbing the wall more rapidly than the first, and Tahu and Onua could not keep holding them off - four Masters would not be enough to defeat their true enemy.

~

“Kopaka!”

The Master of Ice could not place the origin of the call he heard. His shield was not doing well against the Lord’s massive legs.

“Kopaka!” This time, Kopaka knew the voice came from Tahu. When the Master of Ice felt his enemy letting off for a moment, he turned to face his fiery brother, standing on the far ledge of the island.

“Kopaka, a legion of Skull Spiders are on their way! You’ve got to get that mask!”

The Golden Mask of Skull Spiders still sat securely in the Lord of Skull Spiders’ mouth. Kopaka had already noticed it’s subtle shimmer, but thought nothing of it at first - he was far too preoccupied with trying not to die.

“Gali, occupy this beast for me!”

“Consider it done!”

The Master of Water leapt backwards away from the fray, then onto the Lord’s scaly abdomen. The creature hissed and growled angrily as it turned it’s eyes upward to find this new annoyance. As it did, Kopaka forced a gust of icy wind out of his spear.

The spider’s mouth was frozen in place by this assault. The Lord of Skull Spiders began crying out, horrified by this new development. In one swift motion, Kopaka crushed the ice on the monster’s face, and carried it’s golden mask away with him.

The mask went dim. On the edge of the island, Tahu had been throwing flare after flare at the Skull Spider army. Suddenly, however, they all stopped in their tracks - and dispersed. Tahu turned back to the Lord of Skull Spiders. Six assembled Toa circled the gruesome beast.

In unison, the six Masters held a free hand out towards their opponent. Their masks glowed more brightly than they ever had before, as beams of elemental energy emanated from their palms. The Lord of Skull Spiders was wrapped in a bright white light, and shrieked and hissed for as long as it could. When the light faded, the Masters could see the crystal shell their powers had formed - their enemy’s eternal prison.

“We… have defeated Makuta’s first dark servant. For a short while, we have liberated Okoto,” Kopaka affirmed.

“Makuta is dead,” Pohatu said dryly, “and this abomination does not serve him.”


Edited by Uhmbra, Apr 07 2015 - 09:03 PM.

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It is said that all endings are merely beginnings waiting to be born. My beginning was much the same.


#2 Offline Grungemeister

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Posted Apr 03 2015 - 06:37 PM

 

 

 POhatu and the Master of Water jumped high into the air above Onua, and Pohatu forced all the sand at his command into his enemy’s eyes

In the third paragraph, the O in Pohatu is capitalized.

 

I like this story a lot. It's much more gritty and dark than the actual story line usually is, and I like that. 


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A RUDE AWAKENING - A Bionicle G1 continuation and video-game project(MUSIC COMPOSER)  
special thx to Inary the Gunhaver for my new username. 

 


#3 Offline Uhmbra

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Posted Apr 03 2015 - 06:52 PM

 POhatu and the Master of Water jumped high into the air above Onua, and Pohatu forced all the sand at his command into his enemy’s eyes

In the third paragraph, the O in Pohatu is capitalized.
 
I like this story a lot. It's much more gritty and dark than the actual story line usually is, and I like that.
Thanks for pointing that out. My computer does that almost every time I press the shift button. Frankly, I'm surprised you only found one such error.

And thank you! I'm glad you like it.

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It is said that all endings are merely beginnings waiting to be born. My beginning was much the same.





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