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Onua Moc and revamp on the 2015 Onua


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I would say that it's rather epic, but the arms seem a bit long (I like the idea, but idk, it just seems like he's an orangutan because of how long the arms are). I'd say it's a minor gripe

 

VERY GOOD MoC! I really like it :D

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I'm going to be perfectly honest: this is the first MOC I have seen as a topic on BZPower that I do not like. Hear me out  ;)

The whole thing just looks... crowded, as if everything is trying to get you're attention. This is also not really a revamp of the 2015 Onua. It just looks like Onua Nuva if he had to adapt his armor to accommodate an entire restaurant's worth of food. The bulk, however, I like. Food is always nice. That being said, if this were a revamp of the 2015 Onua, I would have used some purple and maybe a bit of gold. The mask is completely wrong as well, and makes the guy look like, as I stated before, Onua Nuva. I'd suggest using parts from the actual set wherever applicable.

The arms are way too long, there are tons and tons of gaps in the waist, torso, and shoulders; and the legs... what are the legs? Tires? I guess that's pretty neat.  :shrugs:

After seeing a few of your creations, I can see that they all could use just a bit more. I can see you in the future coming up with great things with the skills you may have. Don't take this the wrong way; you could do great things, but you could do a lot better than this.

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I'm going to be perfectly honest: this is the first MOC I have seen as a topic on BZPower that I do not like. Hear me out  ;)

The whole thing just looks... crowded, as if everything is trying to get you're attention. This is also not really a revamp of the 2015 Onua. It just looks like Onua Nuva if he had to adapt his armor to accommodate an entire restaurant's worth of food. The bulk, however, I like. Food is always nice. That being said, if this were a revamp of the 2015 Onua, I would have used some purple and maybe a bit of gold. The mask is completely wrong as well, and makes the guy look like, as I stated before, Onua Nuva. I'd suggest using parts from the actual set wherever applicable.

The arms are way too long, there are tons and tons of gaps in the waist, torso, and shoulders; and the legs... what are the legs? Tires? I guess that's pretty neat.  :shrugs:

After seeing a few of your creations, I can see that they all could use just a bit more. I can see you in the future coming up with great things with the skills you may have. Don't take this the wrong way; you could do great things, but you could do a lot better than this.

This guy is structurally built.  The legs with tires is what SOME people use in mocs.  Check it out.  He's supposed to be buff(according to me), and using the same parts from the 2015 Onua JUST won't.  A revamp does NOT have to use parts from that exact set.  I do agree with you about the arms.  I think I do need to shorten them.  This was from my perspective and of what my revamp and moc should look like.  I wanted to stick with a color or two(black, silver, and gray, possibly).  I only put the jet engines for his feet because if I made feet, it would CERTAINLY make him fall.  EVERYTHING does not have to follow what or who the guy is.  Their are at LEAST 1 or 2 gaps.  I know that for sure. You have some/most of your answers.

Edited by Gipsy Danger

A signature is supposed to be this:

 

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and BTW https://screen.yahoo.com/star-trek-convention-000000768.html

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You still have to use what defines Onua in the MOC. He needs claws, hunched, be black, etc; as well as the character defining his personality.

 

And just because others use tires in a MOC, doesn't mean its always a good thing.

 

I may not have MOC experience, but I have eleven years in character designing. Certain things can work and certain things won't.

 

If you want help in character designing, which will contribute to your MOCs, message me on the Kik messaging app. Same name as here or #CSarene

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You still have to use what defines Onua in the MOC. He needs claws, hunched, be black, etc; as well as the character defining his personality.

 

And just because others use tires in a MOC, doesn't mean its always a good thing.

 

I may not have MOC experience, but I have eleven years in character designing. Certain things can work and certain things won't.

 

If you want help in character designing, which will contribute to your MOCs, message me on the Kik messaging app. Same name as here or #CSarene

He's hunched.  He doesn't need claws because he isn't a rahi.  using tires is ALWAYS a good thing.  No more criticism from anybody when it comes to my mocs.  If you're going to say something rude about it or something, then say it in a GOOD way, like this needs this, that needs that.  And DO NOT say I and me, as in like "I would put this instead" and "For me, I would do it like this".  You can use it, but ONLY 1 times.  

I'm going to be perfectly honest: this is the first MOC I have seen as a topic on BZPower that I do not like. Hear me out  ;)

The whole thing just looks... crowded, as if everything is trying to get you're attention. This is also not really a revamp of the 2015 Onua. It just looks like Onua Nuva if he had to adapt his armor to accommodate an entire restaurant's worth of food. The bulk, however, I like. Food is always nice. That being said, if this were a revamp of the 2015 Onua, I would have used some purple and maybe a bit of gold. The mask is completely wrong as well, and makes the guy look like, as I stated before, Onua Nuva. I'd suggest using parts from the actual set wherever applicable.

The arms are way too long, there are tons and tons of gaps in the waist, torso, and shoulders; and the legs... what are the legs? Tires? I guess that's pretty neat.  :shrugs:

After seeing a few of your creations, I can see that they all could use just a bit more. I can see you in the future coming up with great things with the skills you may have. Don't take this the wrong way; you could do great things, but you could do a lot better than this.

Also, ccbs has LOTS of gaps, just like the constraction set of General Grievous!  I think I did a GREAT job and this was the FIRST time I made this design, so it'll always have something that needs to be fixed.

Edited by Gipsy Danger

A signature is supposed to be this:

 

Jaeger_Gipsy_Danger_Decal_02.png

 

and BTW https://screen.yahoo.com/star-trek-convention-000000768.html

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You still have to use what defines Onua in the MOC. He needs claws, hunched, be black, etc; as well as the character defining his personality.

 

And just because others use tires in a MOC, doesn't mean its always a good thing.

 

I may not have MOC experience, but I have eleven years in character designing. Certain things can work and certain things won't.

 

If you want help in character designing, which will contribute to your MOCs, message me on the Kik messaging app. Same name as here or #CSarene

How does it not define Onua?  The muscles and wideness definitely refers to Onua and the black with a bit of grey as well.  I think the tires were to emphasize how thick and muscular Onua's legs had to be in order for him to stand up.  That is just the way I see it.

 

It could use a few tweaks in my opinion but overall it is good!  Question: Did you scrape all of Hakann off of his feet yet?

 

I'm going to be perfectly honest: this is the first MOC I have seen as a topic on BZPower that I do not like. Hear me out  ;)

The whole thing just looks... crowded, as if everything is trying to get you're attention. This is also not really a revamp of the 2015 Onua. It just looks like Onua Nuva if he had to adapt his armor to accommodate an entire restaurant's worth of food. The bulk, however, I like. Food is always nice. That being said, if this were a revamp of the 2015 Onua, I would have used some purple and maybe a bit of gold. The mask is completely wrong as well, and makes the guy look like, as I stated before, Onua Nuva. I'd suggest using parts from the actual set wherever applicable.

The arms are way too long, there are tons and tons of gaps in the waist, torso, and shoulders; and the legs... what are the legs? Tires? I guess that's pretty neat.  :shrugs:

After seeing a few of your creations, I can see that they all could use just a bit more. I can see you in the future coming up with great things with the skills you may have. Don't take this the wrong way; you could do great things, but you could do a lot better than this.

*Reads post* I have seen constructive criticism before but this...*views FordianL's profile and gives rep 1 star*

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If you don't like people that use their head and stand up to bullies, then you may not like me because I deal with bullies head on!  

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No more criticism from anybody when it comes to my mocs.  If you're going to say something rude about it or something, then say it in a GOOD way, like this needs this, that needs that. 

How will you ever get better if you don't take criticism. I really wasn't trying to be rude, and I apologize if I came off as such. I see potential, but I also see many problems in this MOC.

 

I have seen constructive criticism before but this...*views FordianL's profile and gives rep 1 star*

So, you take a flame and burn my profile just because I gave your brother some tips to help his MOCs look better?

 

I...?

 

...I fail to see how this accomplishes anything?

 

For example, I didn't react harshly when people were giving me negative feedback on my sister's self-MOC. In fact, I used that criticism to make the MOC better than it was before. It is now the MOC that I am the most proud of, and I try not to cast pride towards anything.

I'm not saying that the MOC is flat out bad, I'm just saying that it's not good, but can be improved. I've seen some pretty nice revamps of 2015 Onua, this one coming to mind, which take several cues from the original set. This MOC, however, takes only one cue, being the bulk. Overall, it just looks bland without the vibrant colors that the original set has. The mask could be changed to the original Pakari, as it more closely resembles the new Mask of Earth (well, the Mask of Earth is based on the original Pakari, so...). Overall, I prescribe vibrant colors to this MOC. That is the doctor's orders.

Now I need to get some aloe for my profile.

Edited by FordianL
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Did I miss something or is there a phantom gallery somewhere I as a mortal cannot access. Getting a "Page not found" error instead. Any chance it is listed somewhere else? Though I don't know how I would feel about it as a hard core Onua fan and may be very critical of a MOC. I do really want to see in anyway because it could be a physically representation of what/who you think Onua is. Who do you envision Onua to be?

Edited by Prowl Nightwolf

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So, you take a flame and burn my profile just because I gave your brother some tips to help his MOCs look better?

 

 

No, read your post with constructive criticism again.  Also you use "I", "me", and refer to yourself nine times when criticizing his creation.  Mocmaker out.

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If you don't like people that use their head and stand up to bullies, then you may not like me because I deal with bullies head on!  

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Is the weapon you designed supposed to be a staff or a revamp of the hammer? I'm not criticizing it, just asking what it is.

Its supposed to be a revamped hammer, but I didn't think it all the way through(like, with the staff part).  Anyway, thank you for not criticizing.

 

No more criticism from anybody when it comes to my mocs.  If you're going to say something rude about it or something, then say it in a GOOD way, like this needs this, that needs that. 

How will you ever get better if you don't take criticism. I really wasn't trying to be rude, and I apologize if I came off as such. I see potential, but I also see many problems in this MOC.

"Fall down 9 times, get up 10 times"

  • Upvote 1

A signature is supposed to be this:

 

Jaeger_Gipsy_Danger_Decal_02.png

 

and BTW https://screen.yahoo.com/star-trek-convention-000000768.html

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