Ascending Down Review

[Franco]

Author's Note

 
 
After finishing the BZPRPG's 2012 arc, I looked over my performance. It was a drastically varied season. I had many moments of decency and mediocrity in my writing, but there were also multiple moments of deplorable ignominy (the Castle, the Hospital) and a few wild successes (Naara, Wrath). My status dovetailed in sporadic spikes--it dropped like a stone when reprimanded by staff, only to rocket when those same staff granted me unique opportunities.
 
One of my greatest successes, and definitely my greatest opportunity, was Sulov. Sulov went from a failed hero who couldn't coordinate six men to beat one Toa to an heir of the greats who punched evil with a shovel. His character similarly grew from the Dude Who Does His Duty to a man torn between love and practicality, struggling to satisfy both with mixed success. People seemed to like it.
 
Initially, these things pleased me. However, when I re-read the writing of Sulov, I found a glut of flaws. Sulov was vastly inconsistent between early self and late, and even in the increments of change between both, disparities were often found. Further, he was overstuffed with themes; when I looked over my ICs, they often touched upon dozens lightly but on too few deeply. Combined, these problems created a bigger, more blatant one: Sulov's development was too big for the time in which it took place. Neither I nor my readers couldn't reconcile 2011 Sulov Koskium with 2013 Sulov Maru.
 
Rather than change what has already been written, I'm going to present a new context for both of them: the six-month transition from one to the next. "Ascending Down" is the journey from Makuta to Hiemalis in several days. Those serve as prologue and epilogue, which string together a middle of select days between. The aim is not to show the most important events through its time period--though there will be some events with clear, prominent repercussions--as much as some of those days which marked nudges toward monumental change. This is the story of bygone changes' effects and inchoate changes' causes. Hopefully, it will join the Sulovs of past and future.
 
A final note on the style: "Ascending Down" is written in third-person limited, present tense. This combination of point of view and tense is a combination of early Sulov (third-person limited, past tense) and late (first-person, present tense). It also creates objectivity while remaining current and fluid. In this way, I've tried to represent a point of view more appropriate to a story that follows its protagonist, and also one that I may use for said protagonist in the future. Also, chapters are titled with their day of the period (Makuta's defeat being 0) to represent the moments in time.
 
Happy reading and critique below. Edited June 13, 2015 by Stevens

[Franco]

Author's Note

I'd like to talk a little about this chapter, and I can't do that without mentioning the man who wrote half of it. Major Spoilers, also known variously as "Draezeth" or "Kehuri," has been consummately accommodating and deserving of eternal thanks ever since I approached him with the idea of writing this scene.

Regarding that: this scene has a bit more backstory than most I plan to include. When Major won the privilege of playing Onepu in the BZPRPG a year or two ago, he mentioned that Onepu had certainly offered Sulov to rejoin the Ussalry over the timeskip. Though I decided the proposal was rejected and thus came to nothing, it stuck with me until I began writing Ascending Down. I believed it was a good example of a scene which changed little on the surface--leaving status quo alone--but made ripples in the latent. It nudges the world of the prologue into motion without moving it much.

A couple more notes: there is a reference in this chapter to a US general not entirely unlike Sulov, and I advise readers to catch it if they can. I'd also like to provide massive kudos to Major Spoilers for his excellent writing, which I have tried to edit and cut only so as to fit the story's point of view and tense.

Finally, I intended updates to come within weeks of each other. As this did not, and was only possible due to the blood and sweat of a writer whose work has been subjected to Procrustean trial, I refer all to Glyn Maxwell's poem "Deep Sorriness Atonement Song." Some will understand it better than others due to its bounty of uniquely British allusions (ahem). However, all deserve its apology.

Happy reading and critique below.