Ask Pohatu. And Co.

[snakebug]

Episode 1: i hate reviving fadsPohatu: why do you hate fads! im addicted to ask comedys.Snakebug: i also hate making multiple comedys at once.Lewa: get over it dinosnake!Snakebug: call me that again, and you will be in my stomach.Lewa: dinosna *gets eaten*Pohatu: ok cough him up.Snakebug: no. he was tasty.Pohatu: do it or i will make Tahu hypnotize Gali to stalk you every where you go.Snakebug: you know im the author right? and if you do that i will make your worst fears come true. :evilgrin:Pohatu: do your worst!Snakebug: alrighty then. INITIATE PASSAGE OFEngineer: nopeSnakebug: oh not this again. INITIATE PASSAGE OFMedic: OKTOBER FEST!Snakebug: *clicks mute button* thats better INTIATE PASSAGE OF TIME!Pohatu: where am i? whats with the decorations on my hut?Hewkii: oh we did that.Pohatu: did macku convince you into playing some prank?*bucket of water falls on Pohatu's head*Macku: sort of.Gali: here is your computer and email account information. *gives what was listed* *jumping*Pohatu: why are you so hyper?Gali: i drank coffee and we are startin a ask comedy!Whenua: skipped a letter its actually "starting" but its copyrighted.Pohatu: doh!Homer: i have "doh!" copyrighted!Pohatu: im confused :confusedface:Gali: thats not an emoticon. :burnma...Tahu: that emoticon is restriced to fire type people only! see it right here? why is it squished?Snakebug: sorry the emoticons are broken im still working on it.Tahu: im going to you!Snakebug: i guess there working again.Gali: hey Pohatu you got a question!Pohatu: ok lets see.

Galistay away from pohatu! he is a bomb in desguise!from a very jealous blue Halhi.

Pohatu: whats hal hi? you mean lol hi?Onua: run away! its a bomb!Pohatu: so whats the news? your secretly moving in?Gali: yeeeeennnnnoooooPohatu: good.Turahk: um im lost my father and mother were with me but there gone.Teridax: i told you not to mention that!Turahk: who is my mother anyway?Teridax: i told you before im both. stop searching for your biological mother!Turahk: but i thought roodaka was...Teridax: shes not your mother. wait isnt she dead?Turahk: you mean shes been lying!? i must find my brothers!Teridax: seems like ive got traitor! i will kill roodaka again. and ill tell her to get up so i can shoot her again and absorb her.Guurahk: gross. then your going to be a cross dresser!Lerahk: he already is. *drops pictures**in this next scene there will a lot of sensless laughing that has been cut out. so lets end it now*THE ENDlike i said i run to many comedys at once

[snakebug]

Episode 2: upgrades!Snakebug: today i present you with upgrades!Lewa: *covered in slime* tell me something i dont know. ugh!Snakebug: whatever. Pohatu your first!Pohatu: *gulp* dont gulp for me! *sorry* gulp.*lights fill the room and randomness bounces*Pohatu: help me i cant stop walking backwards!Lewa: its Pohatu Jackson! hes doing the moonwalk!Pohatu: guys this isnt funny! help!Onua: *with boombox* domo arigato mister roboto!Everybody: unfitting music!Onua: oops *clicks off button*Tahu: not long until gali screams.Onua: should we help him?Tahu: nah this will be funny.Lewa: got my camera!Hahli: *crashes through window* ow. i shouldnt try catipult launching anymore. woah.Onewa: Whats with the crowd? woah.Pohatu: enough admiring! more doing!Hewkii: thats the power of home depot.Onua: ok *chasing after him* stand still!Snakebug: it will take a while to get used to it.Tahu: i got an idea! *grabs a random rocket*Pohatu: no dont!Tahu: rockets will go to ga-koro!Pohatu: at least send me to Germany! *flies off*Gali: wait for me! *runs after him*Pohatu: well this looks like the end for me. *falls off rocket*Gali: ok im here!Pohatu: *lands on pad* stay calm we are taking over the ship!Everybody in the village: *SCREAM*Pohatu: Kikanalo beef on a sandwich! :OMG:Zesk: umm play?Zeskmunks: *random song*Pohatu: *kick*Zeskmunks: AAAHHHHH!Pohatu: ouch that hurts my ears!Hahli ignika: wassup!Hewkii ignika: wassup!Jaller ignika: paper!Kongu ignika: i cant fly mate!Matoro ignika: ...Nuparu: wind fly!Lewa: HEY! wind fly is restricted to air types only! see here? :lookhere:Nuparu: sorry but thats just gibberish.Lewa: DOH!Homer: hey i have "DOH!" copyrighted!Pohatu: i hate my life.Snakebug: ok lets just end this here. bye!!Fred: HEY ITS FRED!Snakebug: END IT NOEWTEHENDSnakebug: why do the noobs make the end parts?

[snakebug]

Episode 3: the Sandwich triangle.Pohatu: im not even going to try to comprehend what that means.Snakebug: somethings are best not found out.Gali: *battered and bruised* lets not do that again.Tahu: wow you look like pohatu with those bruises *laugh*Onua: RACIST! :alert:Pohatu: what happened to you?Gali: i saw a very... umm i shouldnt say that word.Vorox: i am your father!Gali: no your not!Vorox: want proof? *drops pictures*Gali: no, it cant be true!Lewa: *recording* This is definantly going on #######!Gali: bad Lewa! :spank:Lewa: ow please stop the pain!Teridax: i have come for my shirts that Gali stole!Gurrahk: i knew we shouldnt have let him absorb Roodaka. now hes a cross dresser and a sissy.Lerahk: that made no sense.Turahk: does anything gurrahk say make sense?Lerahk: good pointVorox: oh and here is your mother *shows picture*Gali: *faints*Vorox: wow didnt know gorast could make people faint.Krika: shes just that ugly. *mask glowing*Vorox: stop using your mask of repulsiveness or whatever its called!Krika: okay just give me tickets.Vorox: that made no sense.Turahk: does anything krika make sense?Vorox: what is this some running joke now?Sorry stoping here because we have a storm and im about to lose power bye

Edited December 3, 2011 by snakebug

[snakebug]

episode 4: technical difficultiesSnakebug: sadly my laptop died. and i think a toa of electricity did it.Interviewer: then how are you wrighting it right now?Snakebug: *facepalm*Interviewer: nevermind. what are the characters up to?Snakebug: i dont want know*on matanui*Pohatu: *carrying hewkii* HES NOT MINE!Random matoran: whos your father?Hewkii: HES NOT MINE!Pohatu: i have "HES NOT MINE!" copyrighted!Both: oh brother.Gali: POHATU HAD A KID!? I WANNA SEE!Pohatu: on the count of three we run. got it?Hewkii: who says im not running?Pohatu: you said it wrong anyway. RUUUUUUUN!!*cue benny hill music*Pohatu: ok i think we lost her.Hewkii: *laughing*Pohatu: why are you laughing? whats so funny?Hewkii: check your six. or your back in this case.Gali: i finally caught up. *taps mask* why so fast?Pohatu: HES NOT MINE!Gali: he might be any one of ours. *pulls out machine* genetics test i say!Pohatu: i really dont think thats *clunk* necessaryHewkii: i dont deserve this. *clunk*Gali: the machine says that... wait WHAT!? IM HIS MOTHER!?Pohatu: dont you think this is all connected to the time we all went to the*conversation missing. adult conversation kiddies!*Pohatu: and then tahu crashed the car from to much whiskie?Gali: wait then that means...*pause*Both: um excuse us for a moment.Hewkii: hafu! get the hidden cameras set up!*later in the locked hut down the blawk.*get the reference**Pohatu:lets get this straightened out. ok? even though am i scared out of my armor.*at a hidden trailer down the BLAWK*Hewkii and Hafu: THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!Hewkiis phone: you got an email from macku.Hewkii: that little...*ce....*lets switch to the toa. shall we?*Gali: why are we here?Pohatu: i know somebody that could fix this mess.Gali: your scary.Pohatu: its a gift. *wink*Gali: dont do that. :burnmad:Pohatu: help my mind is full of ba.... awesomeness! :biggrin:Gali: STOP THAT! *slaps him and goes flying*Pohatu: you should have learned not to slap me long ago!Gali: MY ARM!Pohatu: wow have fun with that. *pulls out gun*Onewa: next target gali.Pohatu: that was wierd dream... what happened. was somebody in my mind?Gali: http://www.bzpower.com/board/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.pngPohatu: oh no its happening to you to!!! its a curse! theres no telling what this person could do!Hewkii: what like random anime songs for all eternity!? thats worse than being gorast!Macku: or hewkii turning into toa!?Hewkii: *changes into toa form* already happened. :bigsmile:Macku: *faints*Hewkii: YES! NO MORE SPAM IN MY INBOX!Hafu: or macku using your credit card to buy stuff to ruin your house.Gali: *staring at pohatu* :drool:Tahu: RUN BLACKMAN RUN!Onua: remind me beat tahu for being racist.Pohatu: ok *runs using mask of speed all the way to voya nui*Hewkii: oh that reminds me we got questions for you guys!Gali: ok first one.Hafu: i didnt know it wore of that fast

Galiive seen your secret book youve been wrighting i found out stuff i could use against you! ive noticed you are hypnotized easily and thats my specialty. oh and if it makes you feel any better. you will have a pet visorak in a few minutes.fromRoodaka

Roodaka: hello there.*12 hours later*Gali: *hypnotised* :drool:Pohatu: *walks in* ok im. THATS JUST MESSED UP TO THE THIRD DEGREE!Roodaka: what are you going to do about it? :evilgrin:Announcer: COMMENCE RAP BATTLE!*after hours of rapping*Roodaka: *in corner* :crying:Hewkii: it looks just like the email.Jaller: hey guys whats up?Hewkii: what are you doing here? and why are we all mahri before ignika?Snakebug: i thought you guys looked better that way. *winks at hahli*Hewkii: dont become me. infact i should tell that to myself too. *looks at a motionless macku*Hahli: your still hooked on macku? the person who literally flooded your house when she knew you cant swim?Hewkii: good point. wait what are you setting up?End*jazz music* thank you for watching this episode of ask pohatu and co. we will see you next episode.*music continues* TURN THE BLOODY THING OFF!

[snakebug]

Chapter 5: siblings? or worse?Pohatu: im not going to the pool! you know what happened last time!*Flashback*Gali: *thinking* this is perfect now that pohatu is drunk. i can finally get him in the pool!Pohatu: *falls in water* you know this isnt half bad! wait... THIS IS WATER! NOOOOOOO!*stone float pops out from the pool*Pohatu: thats better *eats an apple*Gali: MY APPLES! *tackles pohatu*Pohatu: get off lewas recording!Lewa: *hides camera* nobodys recording anything * End Flashback*Gali: dont worry we got a swimming instructor for you*hahli walks in*Pohatu: you got to be kidding me.Hahli: come on dont be a matoran. *drags him**later*Pohatu: just a second i got an email!

PohatuHow did you even win a fight with no weapons against anybody? and go to the stadium. i want to see you fight roodaka.From: kama

Pohatu: well i did defeat roodaka once when i-Lewa: no please dont tell that story! its messed up to the third degree!Pohatu: anyway*flashback*Snakebug:stop following me before poison you from head to foot!Roodaka: please take the cream!Snakebug: you know im part snake so i cant eat cream. *growls*Pohatu: stop right there you filthy animal full of gunpowder and fried mauka with a steak and nineteen pound hewkii and macku inside!Snakebug: TMI man TMI...Roodaka: what can you do without weapons?Roporak: *runs by* you jinxed yourself!Pohatu: you dont know what im capable of... *pulls out ghost busters gun from the ground*Roodaka: NOOOOO! *gets sucked in**End Flashback*Pohatu: then an unlucky zaktan walked by. poor guy he is just particles stuck together. he got every molecule sucked in.Gali: hey what is this cream!?Pohatu: oh that little *censored**Later*Pohatu: doctor mutran? gali put this cream on and she is turning into a man by the second. i just hope she doesnt become a female in a males body.Mutran: ok first thing you do. make sure her interest in guys is lowered and stays at a minimum of none.Hahli: you should ask lewa to do that.Lewa: HEY! :oHahli: im just stating the facts. *punches liwa*Liwa: ow!Hahli: oops wrong person. *punches lewa*Mutran: second make sure she stays away from any other blue people. other than tarix.Tarix: i find that offensive! :burnmad:Mutran: third hold the person to stop the transformation.Lewa: *slowly reaches for camera*Pohatu: *gulp* so..you mean?Mutran: yes i mean that. unless your planning to...Pohatu: IM NOT TAKING IT THAT STEP FURTHER. NO WAY IN KARZANI AM I...Lewa: *recording* go on ^_^Pohatu: never mind. ill come back in a few days to tell you the results.*9 days later*Pohatu: bad news. instead of lowering her interest in guys. it got higher.Hahli: i knew we should have made lewa do that.*loud hissing sound*Snakebug: you also made her like fangs with that cream. these are a set of fangs ill never grow back!Mutran: also this cream effects her emotions and makes her very emotional. thats why shes acting wierd around you guys.Pohatu: is that the reason she left these letters on my windows?Mutran: there is only one more way to reverse the effects. do something no toa should do. M to MLewa: you mean we get M&Ms? awesome!Hahli: that had nothing to do with M&Ms.Mutran: ill have my assistant teach you the basics.Pohatu: this is madness. *shaking violently*Mutran: but first we are going to test your mind set.*in the test room*Mutran: ok we will line all these blue people up. that includes you tarix.Tarix: why is it always me!?Mutran: ok rank these three people from one to three meaning who is the best being one. or 3. meaning somebody who doesnt matter.Pohatu: oh this is a pain in butt.Hahli: you mean gears?Pohatu: wait why is there a green person in there?Mutran: oh thats gorast. i put her in there because shes an animal i would really not want to deal with.Gorast: hello der! :pilot:Pohatu: how did she do that?Mutran: the world will never know.Pohatu: ok heres my list1. hahli2. that dark hunter3. gorastMutran: who is "that dark hunter"Lariska: there is only one dark hunter hereMutran: your not in the official storyline though!Lariska: i have the book right here. *hands him the book*Mutran: wait you fought a piraka?Lariska: hey pohatu dont you have that son of yours to attend to?Pohatu: i told you hes not mine.Lariska: dont deny it.Pohatu: snake. please end it here.Snakebug: ok fine. but im making the next episode longer because of this.END

[snakebug]

Chapter 6: bionicraft?Pohatu: hey guys! i got some reservations for a trip to some place called minecraft!Gali: i dont know why but i think onua would love minecraft.Onua: that might be true.Kopaka: HEY! how come i never appeared in an episode?Pohatu: thats because you froze yourself under the floor boards of my hut.Kopaka: oh yeah wasnt that when tahu crashed the car from to much whiskey?Tahu: dont talk about that. <_<Hahli: wait how did you fix galis transformation?Pohatu and Gali: i dont want to talk about it.Pohatu: anyway i think the jet should be here just about...*crash*Pohatu: now.Lewa: well you were wrong about one thing...Pohatu: what?Lewa: theres a portal. AND A BUNCH OF LADYS! ^_^Pohatu: i should have took your advice hahli anyways lets go.*later*Pohatu: ok it seems this is a game.Lewa: no *censored* sherlock! http://www.bzpower.com/board/public/style_emoticons/default/mad.gifPohatu: ok lets get started. gali get some sand.Gali: thats very offensive towards the element of water.Pohatu: oh well onua get some cobblestone. and word of warning! dont dig straight down!Onua: noted *digs straight down*Pohatu: lewa go punch some trees and get wood.Lewa: what are you? a derp? wait stop censoring when i say derp!Pohatu: tahu just... well stay away from any flint and steel. and kopaka? go get some water in some buckets.Kopaka: but i need iron to make a bucket! :(Onua: taken care of! *dumps it on him* wait we need a furnace to cook the ores?Pohatu: wait we do? wierd. anyway i will work on building the house.*later*Pohatu: ok this will make a good house. onua is there a point why you made the mine directly under the house?Onua: its convenient. :)Pohatu: um its night time so gali. you take the wool and wood to make some beds and me and onua will go mining. oh and make sure you close the door so the creepers dont get in.Gali: *scream!* *closes door*Pohatu: *laugh* *i should stop doing all these things**in the mine*Pohatu: ONUA! DONT DIG THROUGH THAT WALL! LAVA!Onua: anyway im getting gali some gold.Pohatu: wow really getting into her arent you? why?Onua: no reason.Pohatu: you know shes under the influence right now so your just going to take advantage of her.Onua: really!? thanks ill go do that! *runs up to the house*Pohatu: what have i done? hey whats this? diamonds!? ill get some to the others! we need that pickaxe! *runs to the house**in the house*Gali: whats taking them so long? oh hey pohatu!Pohatu: i found diamonds! be sure to give s-Gali: I DO! :biggrin:Pohatu: NO I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY! JUST CRAFT SOME PICKAXES! on second thought ill do it.Onua: hey gali whats going on?Pohatu: dont try it. shes crazy and drunk.Onua: who cares. lets go to the cave i made for dinner ok?Pohatu: you know what? this is wrong. stop trying to take advantage of my sister! *kicks him*Onua: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH *goes through mountain*Gali: huh what happened? i think i had to much whiskey...Pohatu: welcome to the real world blue bot!Onua: my head... hey whats this green thing? hey there little bud- *boom*Kopaka: creeper! :oPohatu: that came out late. lets get inside.Gali: heres some beds place them wherever you like.Lewa: *about to place his next to galis*Gali: *pulls out gun* dont even think about it.Pohatu: HEY GIVE ME MY GUN BACK! *tackles*Gali: stop your making me thirsty!Pohatu: yep shes still drunk.Onua: i call room number one!Tahu: i call room number 3! *grabs chest that says tahus tnt chest*Kopaka: i call room number four!Lewa: i call room number 2!Hahli: i call room number 5!Pohatu: where did you come from?Hahli: i was with hewkii in a 2x2 hole in the ground! it was fun actually.Hewkii: never do that again! also i get room number six!Gali: and to make the night better im going to make hahli and pohatu share a room too.Pohatu: no way id rather have to spend the night with that dark hunter than hahli!Gali: dont make me use onewas mask...Pohatu: fine...SSSSSSSsssssssssssssss *booom*Pohatu: CREEPER! GET INTO THE MINE!*in the mine*Pohatu: ok everybody start mining. we need to get supplies and probably make a home down here. its safer.*hiss*Pohatu: or not....ENDWHAT HAPPENS NEXT!? YOU DECIDE!