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A Series of Unfortunate Accidents

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Somebody shoots him while his eyes are closed.

 

Makuta decides to go legit.


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No one takes Makuta seriously and he dies in an alley after slipping on someone's trash.

 

Hafu carves a massive statue.


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But its not a lollipop, its a cyanide pill disguised as a lollipop.

 

A Toa walks into a bar...

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The bar suddenly collapses on top of the toa and other guests of the bar. Seems like it wasn't built with very strong walls.

 

Kopaka gives out hot chocolate to the matoran of Ko-Koro.

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They all burn their tongues on the scalding liquid, rendering them permanently mute. They lynch Kopaka, albeit silently, for allowing such a terrible thing to happen.

 

 

Tahu gives out milkshakes to all the Matoran of Ta-Koro.


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They all melt Instantly, the Matoran are left enraged.

 

mata nui trips and falls

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Nothing bad at all happens directly to or because of the Tahtorak. How ever, the news of the Tahtorak being in town causes a chain reaction of events that eventually leads to several towns being destroyed. Only three people died, though.

 

A man sits in a burning house and acts like everything is alright.

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He gets flash-frozen by an Ojutai dragon.

 

A load of Rahkshi go and sit down in a bar containing the most paranoid Matoran in the world.

 

They then proceed to make their 2100th post on BZP.


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The Matoran is drunk and outraged, and turns into a Bohrok Kal which melts the Rahkshi into slag.

 

 

The Karzahni (plant) meets the Karzahni (being)

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The "dreaded groaning rolling blob" later threatened to destroy Ta-Koro, the one place that always gets destroyed.
 
 
 
Takua saw a picture of Ghidora. Specifically, this one:
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Silly, that was, as he gets caught in chute traffic and his limbs are torn off.

 

 

Hahli bakes a cake.

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When Hahli picks up the cake, she drops it and it sets fire to the floor. She came out okay because she had a bucket of water on hand. However, the smell of cake attracts Turaga Nokama and in a rush to get the cake, she accidentally pokes out Hahli's eye.

 

Onepu decides to replace the Ussal crabs with Kofo-Jaga in his army.


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Well. Kofo-Jaga are too small to ride, and there's no known way to control them. Disaster ensues.

 

Lewa becomes rich.


Blog "A Cask of Amontillado": Breaking News

 

 

 

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So rich, in fact, that he owns every single Widget in existence. As a result, the entire economy of the Matoran Universe collapses, trade becomes virtually nonexistent, and civilized society regresses to primitive hunter-gatherer tribes.

 

 

Jaller is the chieftain of one of these tribes.


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Jaller is caught in one of the traps set up by the hunters of his tribe.

 

Hahli takes a swim...

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She gets hit by a paddle since she swam alongside one of Macku's canoes. Hahli loses her mask and drowns after falling comatose.

 

Kopeke plays with snowballs and rolls one down a mountain...


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The snowball hits a muaka that proceeds to mauling Kopeke.

 

The muaka plays with snowballs and rolls one down a mountain.

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He kicks forward and accidentally flies into space. He dies from the lack of oxygen and since he didn't make any toa stones, there is no one to replace the toa of stone.

 

Tahu gets hotheaded and challenges Kopaka to lava boarding.


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Kopaka melts when trying to surf across the lava, and as punishment for indirectly killing him, Tahu is shipped off to Ko-Wahi where he freezes to death.

 

A large bird tries to fly across Le-Metru airspace without the proper authorization.

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A phase dragon flies towards the birds and eats it, but it is hit by an out of control airship. They crash and burn on the ground, destroying a sixth of the coliseum, a little bit of Onu & Ta-Metru and all of Le-Metru.

 

Gali decides to go deep sea diving and takes the plunge into the dark depths of the ocean.


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Takua laughed so hard he dropped the mask of light off a cliff into the ocean. He couldn't transform into the toa of light and he sealed the fate of Mata Nui.

 

Gali starts doing stand up comedy.


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Until she gets sued by her audience for broken ribs.

 

Nuparu invents the elevator.


Blog "A Cask of Amontillado": Breaking News

 

 

 

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People laugh at Vakama for buying the Barbecue, instead of just using his powers.

 

A Matoran finds a 2DS

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Enraged, he kidnaps dozens of Vo-Matoran to (somehow) drain their innate elemental power to provide fuel for his gaming addiction.

 

 

Brutaka eats a piece of cheese.


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Brutaka eats more and more cheese until there is none left, Mice all over are devastated.

 

Takua drops the mask of light off a cliff

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It shatters. The released power transforms a nearby Fikou spider into whatever the Fikou-spider-analogue-of-a-Toa of Light. The spider now wages war upon the Nui Rama and destroys the whole ecosystem.

 

It is a dark and stormy night in Metru Nui.


Blog "A Cask of Amontillado": Breaking News

 

 

 

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A lightning bolt hits an airship. It catches fire and crashes into the great furnace, causing a massive explosion that wipes out all of Metru Nui. The GSR cannot work and Makuta's plans fail.

 

Lewa puts on the kanohi Kakama and challenges Pohatu to a race.


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Everything was going fine... Until they both reached orbit.

 

 

Axonn started a cooking show.

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