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BIONICLE 2001 Abridged


Toru Nui

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...this is pretty sick and twisted...

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Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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...this is pretty sick and twisted...

Indeed. I haven't even gotten to the really scary stuff yet, such as EVERY OTHER BIONICLE VILLAIN EVER. Except maybe Sidorak. He sucks.

 

Part 288: Burn in Karzahni

 

ROOOAAAR!!! “AAAAAAAAAAH GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF-“

 

“Aaah… catharsis at its purest form.”

 

“We have to help him!”

 

“…Why?”

 

“What has he ever done for the team?”

 

“Well he tossed Eliminator off a cliff, and we haven’t seen him since.”

 

“Oh please, he probably just got tired of his constant failure and that was the last straw.”

 

“He also retrieved Ehrye from the asylum, though he MAY have been in there for a reason… like the fact he’s insane.”

 

“And you’re not?”

 

“Of course! Of course I’m sane!!! I’m the sanest man alive!”

 

“That’s just what an insane person WOULD say!!!”

 

“No!!!” *groan* And he ALSO built that ice bridge we used to bypass the Tren Krom Break and get to Ga-Wahi quickly.”

 

“Well I could have built a bridge TOO, you know.”

 

“AND WHY DIDN’T YOU EARLIER???”

 

“You didn’t ask.”

 

“…”

 

“Tahu, are you OK?”

 

“…”

 

“Tahu? Yoohoo!”

 

“…”

 

“Uh…”

 

“WHYISN’TANYONEHELPINGMEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH-“

 

“…”

 

“I think we broke him.”

 

“Well until Tahu gets his life together, I will be leading our operations from here on out.”

 

“We’re going to perform surgery?”

 

“WHAT? NO!”

 

“I always wanted to do an operation. On a live subject.”

 

“Obvious crazy person is obviously crazy.”

 

“I AM NOT OBVIOUS AND I AM NOT CRAZY SHUT UP.”

 

“HAAAAAAAALPMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“

 

“OK, OK, be quiet and let me think.”

 

“Would be a nice change of pace.”

 

“You’re not funny.”

 

“I’M HILARIOUS.”

 

“Especially when you experience pain, youre REALLY funny then-is Tahu’s skin burning?”

 

“Now that you mention it he appears to be… on fire… maybe we should stand back-“

 

“BBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!”

 

And all of a sudden, the Kuma-Nui was looking a little bit charred.

 

DID YOU ORDER ORIGINAL RECIPE

OR EXTRA CRISPY

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Part 289: Subplot J

 

“Brains… brains…”

 

“WAIT A MINUTE, AHKMOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING COATED IN ANTIDERMIS?!”

 

“Brains… bra-Makuta? Oh you suddenly NEED me NOW?”

 

“NO, I JUST-who are you talking too-SHUT THAT TINY LITTLE MIND OF YOURS!”

 

“Oh right, you’re fused with some idiot.”

 

“No seriously, who are you talking too-AHKMOU YOU DOLT! Ahkmou?! But his voice is diff-HE’S USING THE HOLOGUISE. IT’S A LITTLE SOMETHING AN… “ALLY” OF MINE MADE A WHILE AGO. IT CAN DISGUISE THE USER AS ANYTHING THAT IS THE EXACT SAME SIZE. SO A MATORAN CAN DISGUISE ITSELF… AS A MATORAN. Are you being condescending? *GASP* NNNOOO…”

 

“I disguised myself as some idiot Ta-Matoran Guard I know to… to… I don’t know. Reconassaince?”

 

“I HAVE NEARLY OMNISCIENT ON THE ISLAND YOU FOOL, I DON’T NEED A SPY! Omniscient sight? Does this mean we can peek into Ga-Mator-I WON’T LET YOU.”

 

“Well… I just wanna be useful. Somehow. I can’t disguise myself as a Turaga, I don’t have the figure.”

“DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF WITH THOSE DODDERING FOOLS. I ALREADY HAVE ONE OF THEIR NUMBER IN MY CONTROL. Which one is it? IT’S-*GROAN* HOLD ON I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.”

 

“Take what?”

 

“TELEPATHIC CALL. *CLICK* HELLO? …OH GREAT IT’S YOU, WHAT DO YOU WANT? …YOU KNOW THE PLAN, STICK TO IT! GO TO KARDA-I KNOW THEY HATE EACH OTHER!  BUT GUESS WHAT? I DON’T GIVE A-GAH, HOLD ON. TEHUTTI, TAKE CONTROL OF THE ZOMBIES FOR ME, THIS COULD TAKE A WHILE. Aw yeah, it’s the Tehuster’s time to shine! DON’T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN.”

 

BUT WHO IS THE TURAGA IN HIS CONTROL

LET ME GIVE YOU A HINT

IT IS EITHER VAKAMA

NOKAMA

MATAU

ONEWA

WHENUA

OR NUJU

WHAT

DID YOU EXPECT ME TO HELPFUL

YOU EXPECTED WRONG

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Part 290: Releasing Tension

 

As the Kuma-Nui ran away in fear it spat out Kopaka, who then tried to wipe off all of the giant rat’s drool.

 

“Graah, disgusting!”

 

“I was aiming for the rest of you, but this works as well.”

 

“What the Karzahni were you thinking!?”

 

“Uh… you’re welcome.”

 

“YOU COULD HAVE HURT ME!!!”

 

“Oh no. Mata Nui forbid you should be injured on this mission to SAVE THE ENTIRE ISLAND. Onua, get into the cave and retrieve Pohatu’s fifth mask. It’s getting dark so we’ll save the last one for tomorrow and sleep here.”

 

“*sigh* Very well…”

 

“Sleep here?”

 

“YES. THAT’S WHAT I SAID, YOU PINBRAIN!!!”

 

“RIGHT here?”

 

“YEEES!!!”

 

“As opposed to the conveniently placed cave right next to us? What reason is there for us not to-“

 

“OH SWEET ARTAKHA, THERE’S DUNG EEEVEEERYWHEEEREEE!!!”

 

“…Never mind.”

 

“What have we learned? Never question me.”

 

“Tahu, don’t you think we-“

 

“What did I JUST say, Gali?”

 

“Don’t you think we should get the sixth mask now? We only have about one day before Nuju decides to knock this island back into the Stone Age.”

 

“Aren’t we ALREADY in the Stone Age?”

 

“Then how would we know what the Stone Age IS?”

 

“…Good point.”

 

“Oh come on! You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

 

“Well YOU believed it yesterday.”

 

“I just FAKING it so you lazy sacks of slime would have some MOTIVATION. Seriously, he’s a TURAGA. He can’t be THAT crazy…”

 

“I don’t know, he DID communicate exclusively in bird noises.”

 

“Then again maybe we should just power through the night.”

 

“WITHOUT SLEEP?! You must be joking!!!”

 

“Aren’t we ALWAYS joking? Or at least, making jokes, intentional or otherwise?”

 

“You’ll do as you’re told, airhead! I have four hundred degrees with your name on it NOW SHUT THE KARZAHNI UP!”

 

“I’m sorry brother, it’s just that I’m highly allergic to things I don’t want to do.”

 

“Come on Lewa, where’s your sense of adventure?”

 

“I exchanged it for common sense.”

 

“*desperately holding back laughter* Y-y-YOU? C-COMMON SENSE? PFFFTHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!”

 

“See? A non-intentional joke. Even he finds it funny. GAH, WHAT’S THAT SMELL?!”

 

“It’s your new face. Enjoy.”

 

“I have to wear THIS? This smells like the factory fumes of Karzahni itself!!! And I thought Le-Matoran cooking smelled bad.”

 

“SCREW YOU, THAT FOOD WAS DELICIOUS!”

 

BZPOWER GAME OF THRONES SEASON 2 HAS BEGUN

GET YOUR SPOTS BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES

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...this is pretty sick and twisted...

Indeed. I haven't even gotten to the really scary stuff yet, such as EVERY OTHER BIONICLE VILLAIN EVER. Except maybe Sidorak. He sucks.

Gee, someone's taking Web of Shadows as accuracy a bit too far.

"Mutiny, Booty and Entropy"  - The Three Vices of the Frostelus

[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf

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...this is pretty sick and twisted...

Indeed. I haven't even gotten to the really scary stuff yet, such as EVERY OTHER BIONICLE VILLAIN EVER. Except maybe Sidorak. He sucks.

Gee, someone's taking Web of Shadows as accuracy a bit too far.

 

Alas, poor Sidorak; like General Grievous before him, he lost all glory when his movie came out.

Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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