BIONICLE 2001 Abridged

[Toru Nui]

Part 94: Unexpected Character Development

 

“Why have you come back? Did you find Tahu?”

 

“It’s… a long story… maybe not right now. I wanted to use your cable car and get to Ko-Wahi, but that things a piece of junk. Mind if I crash here for the night?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“So… you’re a woman?”

 

“…”

 

“Ignore him, that’s what we do.”

 

“Funny, I could of sworn that you yell at me when-“

 

“YOU NEED, TO SHUT, THE KARZAHNI, UP!”

 

“See?”

 

“OK, the psychopath is safely chained up. He’s still unconscious, so it was very easy. You can thank me later. Don’t mention it.”

 

“What are you babbling about?”

 

“I never get thanked for anything! A little thank you every once in a while wouldn’t go unappreciated, you know?”

 

“We don’t thank you because you’re an idiot.”

 

“I thought I was an idiot?”

 

“No, you’re a retard. Besides, he’s not a psychopath, he’s a sociopath.”

 

“What’s the difference?”

 

“The main difference being that a psychopath is usually very calm about the way he murders. This guy was more bombastic than Jaller on Fireworks Day.”

 

“Takes one to know one.”

 

“A psychopath or a sociopath?”

 

“I am neither! I’m just a very violent person who enjoys branding people with sizzling red hot metal!”

 

“That’s a horrible thing and you’re a horrible person.”

 

“When was the last time you actually did that?”

 

“Last Tuesday.”

 

“That doesn’t count. You didn’t mean for it to happen.”

 

“What?”

 

“He was just walking along with his poker, like the weirdo he is, when he trips over his own foot and brands Kapura in the crotch.”

 

“You still haven’t apologized for that.”

 

“Why should I? I did on purpose.”

 

“Just because you did it on purpose doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apologize for it.”

 

“But he DIDN’T do it on purpose.”

 

“Yes I did!”

 

“Why did you do it then?”

 

“I just don’t like Kapura.”

 

“Then why haven’t you branded me if you hate me so much?!”

 

“I have.”

 

“Then why is there no mark?”

 

“Because I’ve marked you in every possible place that it’s impossible to tell what IS a mark.”

 

“Then why didn’t I feel it or remember it?”

 

“Because I did it in your sleep and when you sleep nothing can wake you up until the next season.”

 

“What about me? Why don’t I have a mark?”

 

“Nobody cares about you.”

 

“Well I’m glad we cleared that up. I’m leaving.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“YES!”

 

“You don’t care about me, you don’t apologize to me, you don’t thank me. There is zero reason for me to stay here. Good day.”

 

Kapura walked his way across the bridge and started leaving.

 

“Fine! I don’t need you! I don’t need anyone! Especially not you!” He pointed to Nuhrii.

 

“I gathered that.”

 

“In fact, why don’t you leave as well?”

 

“Because without me, you’d die.”

 

“Last time you went Rahi Hunting with me, you nearly hanged me with my own spear.”

 

“How do you hang someone with a spear?”

 

“I have no idea, but he managed it! The stupid, incompetent, useless pile of-“

 

“Sorry are you saying something? I just thinking back to the time you somehow managed to get yourself nearly hanged with your own spear.”

 

“Get out of here you idiot.”

 

“I’m not going to leave! This is my home!”

 

“Alright, you leave me no choice.”

 

“Oh please, what are you going to do? Remove my mask?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What?” Agni quickly put his graspers around Nuhrii’s mask and pulled it off, and dropped it down on the ground. Nuhrii promptly went into a coma.

 

“There.”

 

“Put his mask back. NOW.”

 

“No.”

 

“DO IT.”

 

“As the only remaining citizen of Ta-Koro, and therefore its custodian, I advise you to go away.”

 

“Put. The mask. BACK.”

 

“No! I will never ever ever ever ever ever-oh fine. Later.”

 

“That’s better. You have passed step one of becoming a better person. We’ll continue tomorrow.”

 

“Don’t you have to be going somewhere?”

 

“True. You should come with me then.”

 

“You're a Toa. Danger follows you like paparazzi follow a celebrity. I LOVE DANGER! Especially if I can put Nuhrii in it. Can I take him with us?”

 

“Fine. Tomorrow we go to Ko-Wahi.”

 

“Wait, what about the prisoner?”

 

“Leave him. He’s not going anywhere.”

 

But he would. You see, the chains of Ta-Koro are the worst chains in the world. He’d get out soon enough. When he felt like it. What’s the point of being a prisoner if you don’t enjoy it?

 

FREEDOM IS NOTHING IF YOU ARE TOO TIRED TO ENJOY IT

[Toru Nui]

Part 95: Our Heroes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Are Sleeping In a Ditch

 

Tahu, and a badly hurt Onua dragging a maskless Lewa by the foot came back into the Nui-Rama Hive. The place was deserted, apart from a few Fikou rummaging around for some scraps of food.

 

“OK, we’re here. Now what?”

 

“Lewa, where do you keep the masks that were stolen from us?”

 

“How should I know?”

 

“You lived here.”

 

“Only for a few hours!”

 

“True.”

 

“*sigh*, We'll have to search for them.”

 

“NOW?”

 

“Fine, we’ll wait until tomorrow. There any beds here?”

 

“Few hours. FEW.”

 

“OK, OK. We’ll just sleep in this ditch then.”

 

“What dit-AH!” Guess where Onua fell in. It wasn’t a very wide or deep ditch, just enough for him to experience pain when he landed. “…ow…”

 

“This is where we will spend the night.”

 

“I was going to spend the night in a nice hut in Le-Koro, but NOOO.”

 

“Get in the ditch, get comfortable and if I hear one more remark out of you I’ll boil you alive in a pool of your own bodily fluids.”

 

EW

[Toru Nui]

Part 96: Door-To-Door Salesman

 

“OK. Is everybody in?” Matoro, Kopeke, Vhisola and Pekka were sharing an incredibly small bed in Kopeke’s humble abode.

 

“The entire left side of my body is handing over the edge.”

 

“The blanket only covers my feet.”

 

“THE PILLOW IS TRYING TO KILL ME!”

 

“I’ll take your complaining as a yes. Goodnight.” Matoro flicked off the lamps. He closed his eyes. Then he opened them. Then he closed again, trying to stop opening them again, but he couldn’t help it. “Kopeke?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“How long has that pick over been rusting?” Matoro couldn’t stand the sight of a pick falling into disrepair, mostly because he had nearly died several times because of it. He DIDN’T die of course; he would have thought that was obvious, since if he was dead, he wouldn’t be here right now.

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

He noticed that he hadn’t disappeared in a puff of logic and breathed a sigh of relief. He then realized that while he had been musing to himself, he hadn’t been paying attention to what Kopeke was saying, so he asked him to repeat it. “Sorry, what?”

 

“It started rusting the last time I went out searching for ice blocks to make my statues, I’ve just put it there for now.”

 

“…Well are you planning on getting a new one?”

 

“I think the rust isn’t serious so I’m not going to until next spring.”

 

“But that’s nine months away! You need to replace it now!”

 

“How would you know?”

 

“I know an unusable pick when I see one, and that is one. The entire stabby area is completely rusted over; you need to get a replacement sometime this month!”

 

“…Stabby area? Really?”

 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and a-

 

DING DONG!

 

…That.

 

“*groan*”

 

“Now who could it be at this hour?” Pekka got out of the bed to go see if he could answer Kopeke’s question. He came back a few moments later.

 

“He says he wants to see Matoro, he didn’t find him at his hut, so he went here.”

 

“Right, I’ll go see him.” Matoro went to see “him”. After seeing “him” in person he quickly ran back into the bedroom and ducked behind the bed, and grabbed Pekka by the throat. “Could you have mentioned that he was four Matoran high and could shoot blasts of energy out of his mouth!?”

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.”

 

“Wait what?”

 

“A giant, heavily armoured killing thing just shot a blast of pinky-purple stuff at me, missed, and turned the coat-rack into a pile of grey salt!”

 

“You mean dust?”

 

“That’s what I said.”

 

“Good riddance. I never liked that coat-rack. Been meaning to get rid of it.”

 

Meanwhile…

 

“…ALRIGHT, PUNCH OPEN THE DOOR.”

 

CRASH!

 

“I SAID PUNCH, NOT SLAP.”

 

REBEL WITH A CAUSE

[Toru Nui]

Part 97: Rude Awakening

 

Night began to fall on Mata Nui. The few people who were in Ta-Koro went to sleep. Any Onu-Koro Guards loyal to Tehutti guarded the exits of Onu-Koro, preventing those who were loyal to Whenua from getting out. Vakama’s army would attack Le-Koro in the morning. On the Ta-Wahi beach, a party of Po-Matoran and a few Ga-Matoran slept in tents. In Le-Koro, the Le-Matoran and their guests, Takua, Jaller, Hahli, Hafu and Taipu began to sleep in their huts, while the three Toa slept in a ditch in the abandoned hive. Now was the time.

 

Ta-Koro and Ga-Koro were almost abandoned, and Po-Koro actually WAS abandoned. They would not be able to withstand a full-on Rahi attack.

 

And so, that is what Makuta did.

 

CRASH!

 

“Blabwbhwablw! What was that?”

 

“You babbled incoherently?”

 

“Not me! Outside!”

 

Peering outside, they saw that Ta-Koro was being attacked by all manner of Rahi. Gali started whispering to Agni, who whispered back.

 

“I can’t fight off that many. We need to get OUT of here.”

 

“Right. I’ll drag the idiot into the cart.”

 

“And I will drag the lunatic.”

 

They quickly dashed into two different apartments on the side of Ta-Koro, and tried to drag them out without attracting attention.

 

Until Agni stood on a stick.

 

CRUNCH!

 

A Nui-Rama turned to look at them. A tense moment then happened where it just stared at them. Then it started ignoring them.

 

“EH, IT’S NOT WORTH IT.”

 

Breathing a sigh of relief they were able to drag them out of there. The Rahi noticed of course, they snarled a bit, but more or less ignored the Toa and the Matoran leaving.

 

“Remind me again, why did you leave the bridge up?”

 

“That was Kapura’s job.”

 

“He left.”

 

“Exactly. So it didn’t get done.”

 

“No, you should have done it yourself after he left.”

 

“That’s not how it works.”

 

“Yes it IS. Now be quiet. We’re at the cable car.”

 

Gali, Agni and a sleeping Nuhrii and Eliminator got into the car and starting ascending into the cold misty air of Ko-Wahi…

 

EVERYBODY SEEMS TO BE GOING TO KO-WAHI THESE DAYS

I DO NOT KNOW WHY

 

IT IS COLD

[Toru Nui]

Part 98: And Now For Something Completely Different

 

Shadows. They’re everywhere. You can’t escape them. Unlike darkness, which is the absence of Light, Shadows are the corruption of Light. Darkness seeks to destroy, to conquer, to rule alone, to commit atrocities, to be completely and utterly despIcable and not caring about who knows it. Shadows on the other hand, like Light, seek to improve the world around them, but are prepared to commit Acts one would consider unjust to get it. Wherever there are people willing to achieve their freedom peacefully, there will be people who will do so by force. Wherever there are those who raise money for the poor through charities, there will be those who rob the rich to feed the poor. Wherever there is someone really into the game, there will be soMeone REALLY into the game. Shadows cannot exist without Light, and Light cannot exist without Shadows. Not even the fabled Toa of Light, a hypothetical being of great inner Light, is completely good. For the brighter the candle, the greaTer shadow it casts.

 

Fire can be used to provide illumination and warmth, to roast food for the hungry and to purify Water of it’s impurities. We consider Fire to be dangerous, and it is, but we forget that Fire has one of our greatest discoveries. But treat it wrong, and it will burn your homes, your trees, your flesh. Fire has a Shadow.

 

Water bears life, it is crucial for our survival. Everything we are, everything we’ve built, would not exist were it not for water. Water provides food as well, ensuring plants grow to be ripe, and creating healthy cattle for the slaughter. But underestimate its deptH, and tread too deep, the last words you’ll ever say will be muffled by its fury. Water has a Shadow.

 

Air is like Water, for wE would be nothing without it. But that is all it does. Apart from generate a few cool breezes, it is generally useless. But fail to predict its chaos correctly and you will be blown by a force stronger than a thousand men straight into oblivion. Air has a Shadow.

 

Ice, Water given solid form. It is Fire’s opposite, but not quite as dangerous. It keeps our food cold, and its chilly haVoc hardens us, forcing us to step out of our comfort zone to survive. But stray too deep into the blizzard, and your very blood will be frozen. Ice has a Shadow.

 

Stone has been used to build mighty castles, which have defended people for centuries. More modern uses include using it for art. Although Ice is beautiful stOne is far more practical, and creates more long-lasting works. But be careless and remove so much as one, an entire mountain will come crashing down upon you. Stone has a Shadow.

 

Earth, the very thing we live on. Water cannot handle our weight, and Air simply is too open and empty, so Earth is the most practical place for us to live. It holds many bountiful resources, waiting to be mined. But deplete these resources, treat it as a pIece of meat, and the Earth will pay you back in kind. Earth has a Shadow.

 

But Shadows are necessary. There has to be the one willing to do whatever it takes, as long as it is balanced out equally. Fire, Water, Air, Ice, Stone and Earth, they can be good, they can be baD, but as long as the bad is kept on a leash, the good can be allowed to do its thing.

 

The same, unfortunately, cannot be said for darkness. It is not an element, like the others (that’s why it doesn’t have a capital letter), for it is nothing. Shadows may be nothing, but darkness is very nothing. The nothingiest nothing there is. The darkness as stated above, does not do bad things to improve others like Shadows, it does bad things to improve itself. Sometimes it does it for no reason at all except for it’s personal amusement. It is the purest of evils.

 

And it is waking up.

 

And Fire, Water, Air, Ice, Stone and Earth may not be able to stop it.

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

I said MAY, they can. All they need to is3eryeyqqy1au2y38r3y8yc83yc38492

 

“Nonono, they CAN’T. All options are null and… heheheheh… VOID!!! KAHAKHWHJAKKAKAA! BWAHWAHWPAOWOO!!! MUHAHARHAHAHHRHAHRAHWHEEHEH…”

 

THIS THREAD IS MINE NOW

[Petewa]

The void?

[Toru Nui]

The void?

That's me!

 

*sigh* The Void. He sneaked in during the hiatus and has now completely taken over my profile. He just keeps me around to write this series.

 

Yep. Now please enjoy this special Void Studios presentation.

 

Part 99: I Have a Dream, Onu-Koro

 

Nuparu finally got his cloaking device working, but realized it was too late and decided to go to sleep before he escaped.

 

Little did he know, this would spell doom in big bold red letters for Mata-Nui.

 

DOOM.

 

He woke up (or at least, he thought he woke up) in his room. The problem was that everything was salmon pink. At first he rubbed his eyes in astonishment, but he probably shouldn’t have done that, because his eyes fell out. But he could still see out of the holes where his eyes should be, and saw his eyes roll off his bed and into a conveniently placed golf hole down the fairway which had now replaced his pink bedroom. He then came to the conclusion, as the blue sky suddenly started tearing like a paper bag, revealing a new yellow sky with green dots and his bed suddenly turned into a grand piano which walked off without him into a pawn shop that sold actual pawns you use in chess, that he was in a dream.

 

A very very very very VERY weird dream.

 

Then he started floating into the peculiarly coloured and dotted sky which then started folding around him, trapping him in a bubble with nothing but an infinite horizon of yellow and green circles to keep him company. And worse, he was turning into a penguin.

 

He didn’t even know what a penguin was.

 

Then he laid an egg which then opened up and a hand pulled him inside. Then a man with a sledgehammer came along and yelled “SLEDGEHAMMER” and donked the egg, which then hatched into a dancing roast Dikapi which multiplied into two. Then the entire universe was wiped out by a banana bomb in the northwest pacific and he was stuck in an endless white world, filled with strange objects he didn’t recognise immediately.

 

Back in Matoran form, he started wandering through it, and decided to pick up one of the objects. After careful examination he discovered what it was, to his horror.

 

It was the charred blackened severed arm of a Matoran.

 

“AAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH!!!” He immediately threw it away into the infinite abyss.

 

“Has anybody ever told you that you scream like a little girl?” Nuparu turned around and saw a floating disembodied Hau.

 

“It’s not real… it’s not real… it’s not real… this is a dream, I’m in control!”

 

“Oh but it isn’t YOUR dream.” The Hau drew parts of a Matoran’s body to himself and made himself a body and a nice little throne. “It’s MINE.”

 

ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME HERE

 

NO I AM JUST USING WHAT LITTLE PERSONALITY YOU HAVE TO WRITE YOU CONVINCINGLY

 

YOU SON OF A

 

QUIET

I HAVE TO DO THE 100^TH EPISODE NOW

SO SHUT UP

 

FINE

Edited November 19, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Petewa]

 

The void?

That's me!

 

*sigh* The Void. He sneaked in during the hiatus and has now completely taken over my profile. He just keeps me around to write this series.

 

Yep. Now please enjoy this special Void Studios presentation.

Oh dear.

On the bright side, it's still better than a post-apocalyptic netherrealm.

[Toru Nui]

Funny you should say that. I've made some... changes to Toru Nui's original script. 2001 might not end the way you expect it too...

 

Oh it will.

 

Shut up Toru. Anyway, here's the 100th part Bionicle 2001 Abridged! Enjoy... for it may be your LAST! BWHAAHHAHHAHAH ignore the laughter, there's nothing to worry about.

 

Part 100: Battle Royale

 

The Mana-Ko went through Kopeke’s hut like it was Swiss cheese. Rubble fell on Vhisola and Pekka, incapacitating them, and Kopeke started hiding under his bed, and Matoro staggered away from the rubble. The Mana-Ko started turning its attention to Matoro, and sped off after him. He then used his hand to pin Matoro to the ground. Then a sinister yet hammy voice came out of a loudspeaker on its chair.

 

“GIVE ME MY COMPUTER!”

 

“What?”

 

“THE METAL SLAB YOU YOKEL, THE SLAB! GIVE ME THE SLAB!”

 

“Never!”

 

“YOU SAW WHAT WAS INSIDE IT, DIDN’T YOU? I CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS! JUST GIVE ME THE-“

 

“But this belongs to Makuta, not you!”

 

“WHO DO YOU THINK IS SPEAKING, WORM?”

 

It was at this moment that Matoro knew, he was as dead as dead can be.

 

But he wasn’t, thanks to a brown blur that kicked the Mana-Ko a few feet away.

 

“Consider yourself drop-kicked you scenery chewing son of a-“

 

“QUIET, STONEBRAIN.” The Mana-Ko then started running (or driving rather, since Mana-Kos have treads instead of feet) and picked up Pohatu and threw him against a rock. It then tried to pin him against the rock, but Pohatu is a slippery one, and he dodged it. Just then, the Mana-Ko was sprayed with gallons of hot water, but that did little to deter it. It then turned its attention to a certain Toa of Water, two Ta-Matoran (one was unconscious) and a sleeping… thing (What IS Eliminator, anyway?).

 

“Oh dear. RUN!” Agni dragged Nuhrii out of the way, while Gali kicked Eliminator away before the Mana-Ko ran her over. It then turned around and was ready to do the same thing again, but Pohatu whacked it with a stone hammer he made using his elemental powers while nobody was looking, and sent it flying a few more feet than last time.

 

“Oh hey Gali! You suck.”

 

“Shut up and help me deal with this thing.” Just then, they were teleported by a Kanoka a few feet away, upside down, by a certain disgruntled thing (seriously, what is he?).

 

“You are all quite out of your league.”

 

“Says you!”

 

“Yes, says me.”

 

“RAHI, ATTACK!” Suddenly a Muaka and several Nui-Rama appeared and went after Matoro, who immediately started running. Pohatu lept onto the Muaka and tried to steer it away, with reasonable success. The Mana-Ko tried to rip off Gali’s head, but missed. Meanwhile, Eliminator and the Mana-Ko chased after Matoro, but then Eliminator was picked up by the leg by some white thing which sprayed snow into the face of the Mana-Ko and sped off towards a cliff.

 

“Hey buster, where are you going?!”

 

“I know where YOU’RE going.” Eliminator was then thrown off the cliff into the misty abyss, and the white thing sped back towards the Mana-Ko who he froze solid with a stroke of his sword.

 

Meanwhile, the Muaka and Nui-Rama were still chasing after Matoro, who was now running back to what remained of Kopeke’s hut. Pohatu, still riding the Muaka, covered its eyes, causing it to slide into the snow and hit its head on a rock, knocking it unconscious. Gali then started firing balls of water straight at the Nui-Rama. And we all know insects can’t fly when they’re wet, and thus they fell down to the ground. The Mana-Ko then broke free of its icy prison, and made a beeline for Matoro, but Gali sprayed the ground beneath him water, causing it to slip and fall over on its face. Then it started crawling towards Matoro, who was so surprised he fell over and started crawling backwards on his back away from the Mana-Ko, who was getting dangerously close.

 

“GIVE, ME, MY, SLAB!!!”

 

“I think not.” The white thing stabbed his sword into the ground, and the very ground cracked open, causing the Mana-Ko to fall into the newly made seemingly bottomless crevice. Matoro nearly also fell in but Gali was able to grab him just in time.

 

“Are you CRAZY? You could have killed-“ Gali realized too late the white figure had gone. “-him…”

 

YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS

IF YOU DO NOT

WHAT THE KARZAHNI ARE YOU DOING HERE

 

GO LOOK AT PICTURES OF NAKED WOMEN OR SOMETHING

Edited November 16, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Petewa]

It appears Kopaka has slipped into the script.

[Toru Nui]

It appears Kopaka has slipped into the script.

 

Part 101: How to Create Evil Doppelgangers

 

It was upon seeing one of his greatest tools defeated so easily, and his plans compromised even more; Makuta did something he hadn’t done for a thousand years.

 

He got angry.

 

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

The echo of his rage rebounded across Mata-Nui. It was likely he would gone out and killed everyone on the island in a massive temper tantrum, were it not the fact that he suddenly calmed down, and reminded himself that everyone on the island needed to be alive for his plan to work. So he decided to do what he did best when his plans weren’t working.

 

He worked around the problem.

 

He needed something to distract the Toa, something to stop them from collected the masks, and stopping him from retrieving the back-up computer, to prevent the Void from waking from stasis.

 

He needed something that was equal in power to the Toa, smaller than the Mana-Ko, something more agile.

 

He needed a mirror image of the Toa, causing them to question their destiny, to keep them off his back while he prepared for the arrival of his pawns.

 

He needed to create Shadow Constructs.

 

He needed to create to create Shadow Toa.

 

Using the power of his Mask of Shadows, he found the shadows of Tahu, Lewa and Onua, sleeping in a ditch in the abandoned Nui-Rama hive. He would create the others later, when he felt like it. With a wave of his hand, he delved into the subconscious of Onua to start with.

 

He was going to delve into the Toa’s hatred, their fear, their greed, their envy, and their pride.

 

Basic shadow monster stuff.

 

OH PLEASE

LIKE THAT TALENTLESS HACK CAN STOP ME

 

DO NOT WORRY GUYS

I WILL KILL THIS JERK LATER

 

WHAT WAS THAT

 

NOTHING

Edited November 27, 2015 by -Windrider-

[Toru Nui]

Part 102: Temporal Telepathic Connection Lost

 

Vakama went to sleep in Whenua’s hut. He thought it might be night, he couldn’t really tell. On account of there being no sky.

 

He immediately regretted doing so.

 

“Hello!”

 

“*groans* What do you want now?”

 

“You know that I lost connection to your mind earlier today?”

 

“Kind of.”

 

“Turns out the source of the interference is coming from underneath Onu-Koro.”

 

“OK.”

 

“…What, aren’t you going to do something?”

 

“Whoever or whatever is disrupting our connection, is doing me a favour. Because, you may not have realized it yet, but I HATE YOU!!!”

 

“And I hate you!”

 

“What did I ever do to YOU?!”

 

“You hate me!”

 

“I only started hating you after you started hating me. Which was since you started speaking to me!!!”

 

“It’ll make much more sense later on. Anyway I-“ The image of Krakua projected through Vakama’s mind in his dream began to flicker and die. He was then replaced by a sign saying: CONNECTION LOST PLEASE REPEATEDLY BEAT YOUR HEAD AGAINST A BLUNT OBJECT UNTIL CONNECTION IS FIXED.

 

“Good.”

 

AS YOU CAN SEE

I HAVE COVERED ALL POSSIBLE THREATS

 

NOT ALL

 

STOP TYPING STUFF WHILE I AM NOT LOOKING

[Petewa]

CONNECTION LOST PLEASE REPEATEDLY BEAT YOUR HEAD AGAINST A BLUNT OBJECT UNTIL CONNECTION IS FIXED.

The answer to everything.

[Toru Nui]

Part 103: You Ever Had a Nightmare Where a Mysterious Being Gives You a Mission?

 

“Who… who are you?”

 

“I’m the Void, glad to meet you! You must be Nuparu, the Matoran who will change all of Mata-Nui, but I’m getting ahead of myself.”

 

“What?”

 

“Listen to me very carefully, as I talk to you, OK? I’m… not like ANYTHING you know about. But that’s OK, ‘cause I’m on your side.”

 

“You’re made out of dead body parts!”

 

“Well, you see… I’m… the collective consciousness of several dead Matoran that… the Makuta has killed! Yes! He sealed me under Onu-Koro, underneath that giant sundial you found.”

 

“Really?”

 

“REALLY. So, here’s the plan. You get me out, and I’ll take care of Tehutti and the Makuta.”

 

“What do you mean by-“

 

“I’m not sure HOW you open that sundial, but I’m sure that astrologer you mentioned should be able to tell you.”

 

“How do you know thi-“

 

“OK shut up and wake up. Wake up. Wake UP.”

 

“What are-“

 

Insert jump-scare here.

 

“WAKE UP!!!”

 

Nuparu then woke up in a cold sweat.

 

“*gasp* *gasp* *sigh*… it was just a dream.” He then looked at his hand. It read: THE DREAM WAS REAL NOW GET TO WORK YOU LAZY BUM.

 

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!”

 

THAT NEVER GETS OLD

[Petewa]

The void reminds me of Deadpool, for some reason.

[Toru Nui]

The void reminds me of Deadpool, for some reason.

Why you pretentious little-rrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaagh!

 

Part 104: The Odd Couple

 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Kopaka wandered through a blizzard in the dark of the night. “And furthermore, STUPID! *mocking Gali* Are you crazy? You could have KILLED him! WELL, IF HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO GET IN MY WAY, THEN-“

 

“Oh Mata Nui, do you EVER shut up?” Kopaka immediately leapt three feet in the air and turned around and pointed his sword at Pohatu’s neck.

 

“How long have you been following me?”

 

“For the past half hour.”

 

“…Well, you can tag along, for now.”

 

“Where are we going then?”

 

“To find more masks like ours, and increase our power.”

 

“Sounds fun.”

 

“Fun? Ugh, we don’t want to have fun!”

 

“I do.”

 

“You don’t count.”

 

“Yes I-“

 

“NO. YOU DON’T.”

 

“…Alright.”

 

WHO WAS THAT JERK

 

PETEWA

OR AS HE IS KNOWN NOW

KYLE WHYTE

 

TELL ME

DO I REMIND YOU OF DEADPOOL

 

YES

 

YOU SON OF A

 

QUIET

[Toru Nui]

Part 105: Flaws

 

Giving. They say giving is more satisfying than getting. Yet despite this, nobody had actually given him anything so far. If anything, he was giving to them, he was a Toa, after all. So why weren’t they giving him anything? Besides a mission, they gave him nothing. Absolutely nothing. Zero, bupkus, nada. So if they weren’t going to give him anything in return, he would TAKE it.

 

And while Onua slept, a squelchy thing covered in darkness emerged from his shadow. It was greed.

 

Helping. They say that helping those in need is considered right. But they weren’t helping HIM. They were dragging him out to a place he didn’t want to go to at all. He appreciated the fact that they were now sleeping, but they were sleeping in a ditch, as opposed to a nice bed in Le-Koro. If this was the way things were going, he wanted to be back on Makuta’s side.

 

And while Lewa slept, a squelchy thing covered in darkness emerged from his shadow. It was sloth.

 

Love. They say to love your enemies and to pray for those who persecute you. Well, if that was true, then that means you must hate your friends and not give a Brakas’ rectum about those who accept you. And while that was some serious grade A Kane-Ra manure, he had to admit, so far he wasn’t feeling any love for those for his allies, especially since back in Onu-Koro, they were trying to overthrow each other. But he couldn’t just burn down the entire island and be done with them… could he?

 

And while Tahu slept, a squelchy thing covered in darkness emerged from his shadow. It was wrath.

 

And so wrath, sloth and greed squelched out of the hive and into the wilderness...

 

NOSTALGIA HAS BLINDED YOU TO THEIR TRUE COLOURS

Edited March 5, 2016 by Toru Nui

[Petewa]

Love. They say to love your enemies and to pray for those who persecute you. Well, if that was true, then that means you must hate your friends and not give a Brakas’ rectum about those who accept you.

Tahu's logic is flawed.

 

NOSTALGIA HAS BLINDED YOU TO THEIR TRUE COLOURS

Their true colours are red, green, and black.

[Toru Nui]

Love. They say to love your enemies and to pray for those who persecute you. Well, if that was true, then that means you must hate your friends and not give a Brakas’ rectum about those who accept you.

Tahu's logic is flawed.

 

NOSTALGIA HAS BLINDED YOU TO THEIR TRUE COLOURS

Their true colours are red, green, and black.

Shut up.

 

Part 106: The Day Music Died

 

It was morning now. Takua awoke from his guest bed in Le-Koro, and saw that the sky was orange, and that the sun had not yet risen. He then went back to sleep.

 

Five seconds later he was awoken by the most horrible noise imaginable.

 

“AAAAAAAAEEERRRRRRHG! What is that hideous noise?!” Jaller, who was on a bed next to him, scrambled around in his bed-sheets for no reason other than lashing out at the cacophony violating his eardrums. Hahli tried to commit suicide by smothering herself against her pillow, but it didn’t work. Hafu was beating his skull repeatedly against his hammer, and Taipu was still blissfully asleep.

 

In a hut adjacent to them, Kongu grumbled, got out of bed, went outside and slammed the very same tuba Sanso was using to practice his masterpiece on his head.

 

“WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PRACTICING IN THE EARLY-MORNING?! Or any other time!?”

 

“I don’t take orders from you!” Sanso’s voice was distorted by the tuba which currently surrounded his head.

 

“Yes you do.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Jaller stepped outside. “Excuse me, can I add something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Yes. Wait, what do you mean by-OOF!” Jaller had just hit him in the gut with a guitar. Then Hahli hit him in the back with a clarinet. Sanso eventually managed to get the Tuba off. Just in time to see Taipu throw a grand piano at his face (Taipu is very strong, you see).

 

“Oh no…” CLONK!

 

CARNAGE IN C-MINOR

[Petewa]

CARNAGE IN C-MINOR

Hey...that's the name of an obscure Transformers episode.

[Toru Nui]

Hey...that's the name of an obscure Transformers episode.

 

Well done, bobo! You want a banana?

 

Shut up and write the stinger.

 

Part 107: Previously On Bionicle 2001 Abridged…

 

The Toa had done much, but their task was not done yet. Pohatu had retrieved half his masks, but one had to be loaned to Tahu after he lost his Golden Mask back in Po-Wahi. Onua and Lewa had lost their masks too, and Onua had to borrow the only mask Gali had acquired to gain his elemental powers back. Lewa was not so lucky. Still, Tahu was confident they would retrieve their lost masks in the morning.

 

Gali, Matoro, Kopeke, Nuhrii, Agni, Vhisola and Pekka woke up in what little remained of Kopeke’s hut.

 

Kopaka and Pohatu woke up in an ice cave somewhere in Ko-Wahi.

 

Tahu, Lewa and Onua woke up in a ditch in the abandoned Nui-Rama hive.

 

Vakama, Ahkmou and Tehutti woke up in Onu-Koro. So did Whenua, but he awoke in a jail cell. Nuparu had left in his prototype motorboat, using an experimental cloaking device to get by Tehutti’s curfew.

 

Kapura woke up in his makeshift hut in the charred forest  made out of old Rahi traps. As you do.

 

Nokama, Macku, Nixie, Onewa and Hewkii woke up in tents with the rest of the Ga and Po-Matoran on the Golden Beach.

 

Eliminator woke up hanging in a tree in Le-Wahi, being thrown off Ko-Wahi last night.

 

Makuta never slept, he simply doesn’t.

 

And a screaming, gnashing, kicking THING of pure malevolence giggled in the darkness, below Onu-Koro.

 

I AMUSE MYSELF

Edited November 17, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Toru Nui]

Part 108: Kopaka’s Neighbour

 

“Argh… this was the most uncomfortable ice cave I’ve ever slept in.”

 

“It’s the only ice cave you’ve ever slept in!”

 

“You don’t know that. It may be true but you don’t know.”

 

“Yes I do, you just said it was true.”

 

“But you didn’t know beforehand.”

 

“I did because you’re an idiot.”

 

“Good point.”

 

GROWL!

 

“…What was that?”

 

“That was the Kuma-Nui who occupies the cave next door. Don’t worry; he’s not wearing those weird masks, so he’s friendly. Even if he is a terrible neighbour.”

 

“For real?”

 

“Yes. He always makes such a noise when he wakes up. Fat piece of meat.”

 

ROAR!

 

“Oh shut up you retarded rodent!”

 

“So what now?”

 

“Now we go mask hunting…”

 

GROWL!

 

“SHUT UP YOU MORON AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST! Waste of space, honestly…”

 

EVERYBODY IN KO-WAHI

HATES THEIR STUPID NEIGHBOUR

HIS IS KUMA-NUI AND HE IS REALLY REALLY LAME

HE HATES ALL HIS FAVOURITE SONGS

HIS VIEWS ON POLITICS ARE WRONG

KOPAKA HATES HIS GUTS AND KUMA-NUI IS HIS NAME

[Petewa]

EVERYBODY IN KO-WAHI

HATES THEIR STUPID NEIGHBOUR

HIS IS KUMA-NUI AND HE IS REALLY REALLY LAME

HE HATES ALL HIS FAVOURITE SONGS

HIS VIEWS ON POLITICS ARE WRONG

KOPAKA HATES HIS GUTS AND KUMA-NUI IS HIS NAME

Sounds right.

[Toru Nui]

Part 109: Is There No End to the Lies?

 

Inside the tent of the two Turagas, who were quietly discussing the “good old days”, when Nixie came inside.

 

“Turaga?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I have to go back to Ga-Koro to feed my fish.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“…So, you’re actually going to let me go?”

 

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

 

“…Never mind, I’ll be going now.” And she did.

 

“Say Nokama, do you remember when-“

 

“YES. STOP ASKING THAT.”

 

“But I didn’t-“

 

“It’s either about another battle, or another argument we had. I remember every single one of them.”

 

“What about the one with-“

 

“YES, YES AND YES!”

 

“You know, nostalgia has made me forget just how much of a jerk you were. And still are now.”

 

“The feeling is mutual.”

 

“YES. YES IT IS.”

 

“Who said that?”

 

“Oh no…”

 

Suddenly the other end of the tent got darker. And began to emit glowing red eyes.

 

“GENTLEMEN. AND ONEWA.”

 

“What the Karzahni do you want?!”

 

“IT IS TIME TO TALK.”

 

“About what?”

 

“THE TERMS OF YOUR SURRENDER.”

 

“No way jose!”

 

“We beat you before, and we can do so again!”

 

“WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS, I LET YOU WIN.”

 

“Yeah right.”

 

“BESIDES, YOU WERE TOA BACK THEN. NOW YOU ARE DECREPIT OLD TURAGA THAT WOULD LOSE THEIR OWN HEAD IF IT WASN’T ATTACHED.”

 

“We would not! I resent that.”

 

“Matau would.”

 

“IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN: YOU SUCK. IF YOU WERE PARAGLEPHICS, YOU WOULD FORGET WHAT YOUR FEET WERE FOR. OR ACCIDENTALLY EAT THEM. NOW I’VE FORGOTTEN THE REAL REASON I CALLED YOU…”

 

“What?”

 

“OH THAT’S RIGHT. TO TELL YOU THE ONU-MATORAN HAVE SIDED WITH ME.”

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG, wrong!”

 

“OK. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.” And the eyes disappeared, and all of a sudden, everything got brighter.

 

“That guy is a know-it-all.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

BELIEVE THE LIES

THERE IS ENOUGH CHAOS TO BE SPREAD FOR EVERYBODY

[Toru Nui]

Part 110: Double Trouble

 

On top of Le-Koro, Matau and Kongu were enjoying some juice made out of fruit on long chairs made out of bamboo.

 

“Well, here’s to a problem-free day.”

 

“Yes, it’s nice to have a day where nothing interest-danger happens. What-so-ev-“

 

“MATAU!”

 

“Oh smelly-crud.”

 

Matau and Kongu looked down to see the entire population of Ta-Koro (apart from Takua, Jaller, Kapura, Nuhrii and Agni) staring up at them with weapons and catapults. Oh and Ahkmou was there too.

 

“People of Le-Koro, we-“

 

“Vakama, if you’re going to attack us, can you postpone it until Saturday?”

 

“…What?”

 

“Yeah, we’ve recently been attacked by Makuta’s Nui-Rama led by a sadistic green Toa who recently disappeared with the red, black and brown ones earlier today.”

 

“Tahu? Where is he?!”

 

“We don’t know.”

 

“Oh. My revenge will have to be postponed until later.”

 

“And mine.”

 

“Look, we love a good scuffle now and then, but it is neither now nor then, so please leave-go.”

 

“Darn it, what’s with people refusing to fight us recently?”

 

“Oh, we’ll fight with you, old man… Muhahahrhahaheherhehehe…”

 

“Why thank you, finally someone who will-TAHU! YOU… Huh? Why are you…”

 

Vakama saw Tahu, Lewa and Onua, but they were… off. First of all they seemed to be completely made out of darkness, and had all ominous red eyes.

 

“Well… I’ll be shipped off to Karzahni. Heheheh…”

 

ATTACK OF THE EVIL KNOCKOFFS

[Petewa]

ATTACK OF THE EVIL KNOCKOFFS

Even in story, bootlegs are terrible.

[Toru Nui]

Even in story, bootlegs are terrible.

 

Part 111: We Must Rebuild

 

“Kopeke, please! We just rebuilt your-“

 

“This happens every time I let people into my house. It gets demolished.”

 

“Not EVERY time!”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“…Yes it does. But still!”

 

“No stills! Go back to your actual homes!”

 

“Actually ours was destroyed.”

 

“Fine, you idiots can stay. Now there IS a hotel in Ko-Koro in which the rest of you can go, but… well you’ll see.”

 

“Thanks!”

 

“Is there heating there?”

 

“No.”

 

“Spiriah.”

 

“Well, come on you two. That alliance won’t form itself.”

 

“Right.” Gali, Vhisola and Pekka walked off. Pekka was glad to be away from the two Ta-Matoran. For if they were able to learn the truth…

 

“Right, Matoro, YOU will go home.”

 

“Actually, I’m going to Ko-Koro with them. I’ve got something that the Turaga MIGHT want to see.”

 

“Very well. Now I have to start work on my next statue.”

 

And thus, only Kopeke, Nuhrii and Agni remained.

 

“So… got any board games?”

 

“We are NOT playing Mata-Nui Monopoly!”

 

I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF KOPEKE AND HAFU MET

Edited November 21, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Toru Nui]

Part 112: Resist the Resistance

 

Po-Koro was in ruins. The Po-Matoran had foolishly abandoned it, leaving it to be destroyed by Makuta’s Rahi. However, the ruins were enough to shelter Onepu. At least for the night.

 

Onepu knew that returning to Onu-Koro wasn’t possible, he saw guards… well, guarding the Po-Koro Tunnel. And he guessed from the fact they referred to Onu-Koro as Te-Koro that Onu-Koro was under Tehutti’s control, and that the Turaga and Nuparu were probably dead.

 

Idiots. Why didn’t they listen to him? Well, because they were idiots. Maybe Tehutti wasn’t COMPLETELY wrong. True, he was an idiot, a madman and brought a whole new meaning to the term delusional, but Whenua, for all his stoicism and common sense, would never listen to anybody who wasn’t him. And Nuparu was a hair-trigger tempered, amoral mad scientist who didn’t comprehend the meaning of safe. Tehutti would probably rule Onu-Koro worse than they did, but still…

 

Perhaps, all Onu-Koro needed was a nudge in the right direction…

 

From HIM.

 

He thought carefully, he needed some way to destroy the robot, so he’d need explosives… which could be found by the metric ton in Nuparu’s lab. He knew at least half of the Koro would oppose Tehutti, so getting Matoran to join him wasn’t a problem. What WAS a problem was getting inside in the first place…

 

That didn’t turn out too difficult, he just had to walk up to them, knock their heads together, tie them up with some rope by the entrance, replace his mask with one of theirs, specifically a Matatu, grab one of their spears and walk in.

 

Now to get to work…

 

VIVE LA REVOLUTION

AGAIN

[Petewa]

Revolution against the revolution, blood shall be shed, war shall be won, Viva La Re-Revolution, for the glory of Sontar!

 

Sontar, Ha!

Sontar, Ha!

Sontar, Ha!

Edited November 22, 2015 by Kyle Whyte: Speed Itself

[Toru Nui]

Revolution against the revolution, blood shall be shed, war shall be won, Viva La Re-Revolution, for the glory of Sontar!

 

Sontar, Ha!

Sontar, Ha!

Sontar, Ha!

Wrong franchise dummy.

 

Part 113: Don’t Harass the Messenger

 

Nuparu’s prototype boat arrived at Ga-Koro, or what was left of it. It had been completely devastated by Makuta’s assault last night; barely a hut was in one piece. Then again, some of it was caused when Nuparu crashed into the village, so… yes…

 

“Curses, I knew I should have installed brakes. Or a steering wheel. Probably should have included a seatbelt too. Perhaps a radar…”

 

“OH DEAR MATA NUI!!! HELP!!!”

 

“I’m coming!” That was a lie; he was currently stuck in the wall of Hahli’s hut, but he managed to wiggle free. He then ran over to what was left of Nixie’s hut and saw a Ga-Matoran crying… over a slightly damaged bowl containing water and a still rather healthy small fish inside.

 

“Oh Mr. Snookums, I hope the Rahi didn’t hurt you too bad, no…”

 

“Oh Great Spirit…”

 

“Hey! If you had a pet, you’d understand!”

 

“I built a computer program who I acknowledge as a son, who was recently brainwashed by the man I hate most. I was slightly miffed. You’re overreacting.”

 

“That doesn’t count! Programs can’t feel pain!”

 

“I didn’t expect you to know what a program was. Could you direct me to the astrologer?”

 

“That’s me!”

 

“Listen. We’ve got something that might interest you back in Onu-Koro. It’s a giant sundial, and we think something might be underneath it. So-“

 

“Wait a minute; you’re an Onu-Matoran then? How did you escape the Ta-Matoran when they attacked you?”

 

“I don’t know if you noticed, but for all their quote tactical genius and unstoppable military unquote, they’re honestly quite pathetic. The best they could do was poke and whack us with toy spears.”

 

“Oh. So you won then?”

 

“Well… not quite… let me explain…”

 

THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET MUCH MORE COMPLICATED

MUCH

MUCH

 

MUCH MORE COMPLICATED

Edited December 23, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Petewa]

"Let me make this as...monosyllabic as possible,"

[Toru Nui]

"Let me make this as...monosyllabic as possible,"

 

Part 114: Whatever Part 114 is Called

 

Meanwhile, Tahu, Lewa and Onua found their masks. It appeared they were in a safe in Lewa’s office, which Onua quickly chewed Lewa out for not remembering it being in such an obvious place.

 

“Right, we’ve all got our masks back, and we’re all happy with the world, ourselves and each other.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“And nobody cares.”

 

Suddenly, a black and purple figure barged through the door of the office. “What the Karzahni are you doing here, hunchback?”

 

“Better question: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

 

“Well, I knew this place was under Makuta’s control, and-“

 

“It’s not anymore, dummy.”

 

“You know, when you’re faced with a serial killer, it’s not a good idea to insult their intelligence.”

 

“How about I insult your mother instead?”

 

“That’s a not a good idea either.”

 

“OK, who the Karzahni are you, what the Karzahni are you doing here, and why the Karzahni shouldn’t I incinerate you where you stand?”

 

“I am Eliminator, I’ve come here to recuperate, and because Toa aren’t allowed to kill.”

 

“Dagnabit, he’s right.”

 

“How do you know him, Onua?”

 

“This Piraka attacked me underground while I was tunneling to get to Le-Wahi, but-“

 

“DON’T say that word; it reminds me of six idiots I knew…”

 

“Shut up I haven’t finished. He didn’t kill me for some reason; apparently we’re crucial to Makuta’s plan. Whatever that is.”

 

“So if we commit suicide-“

 

“NO!”

 

“You guys are a bunch of bananas.”

 

“I thought we were melons.”

 

“We are not melons, we are not committing suicide, and we are not going to let YOU get away!”

 

“Get away? Why would I want to do that? I want your masks, so you can be delayed long enough for… whatever Makuta’s planning. The only reason your sister and brothers defeated me was because they got the jump on me. That and there was a cliff. And if I’m not mistaken, Fire, Air and Earth can’t conduct Electricity, can they?”

 

“Uh… yes?” Onua quickly slapped the back of his head like you do when someone’s said something very stupid. “Ow!”

 

“Look, there’s three of us, and one of you!”

 

“Three inexperienced Toa versus one battle-hardened Dark Hunter. This will be very hard for me NOT to accidentally kill you…”

 

SPOT THE 2006 REFERENCE

Edited November 26, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Petewa]

“DON’T say that word; it reminds me of six idiots I knew…”

Found it.

[Toru Nui]

Found it.

Stop replying every goddamn post! It's very distracting.

 

Don't listen to him, he's an evil multidimensional devourer of all matter. He's kind of a jerk. Reply as much as you want.

 

Part 115: Heat Seeking Missiles do not Work Well in Icy Environments

 

“I can’t see a thing in this blizzard…”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“I SAID, I CANNOT SEE ANYTHING IN THIS BLIZZARD!”

 

“SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR A THING IN THIS BLIZZARD!”

 

“YOU’RE AN IDIOT!”

 

“I’M A WHAT?”

 

“YOU MOST CERTAINLY HEARD THAT DIDN’T YOU, YOU BROWN LUMP OF DUNG!”

 

“NO SERIOUSLY, I’M A WHAT!? I DIDN’T HEAR THE END PART!”

 

“OH FOR-“ Kopaka raised his sword and the blizzard immediately died down.

 

“Wait a minute, you could have gotten rid of it at any time?! WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT BEFORE!?”

 

“I didn’t want to strain myself.”

 

“How does that strain you?!”

 

“Obviously you haven’t fully grasped the extent of your powers. I will teach you.”

 

“In what, the mystical ways of being a complete and utter piece of-“

 

“Silence, something’s coming!”

 

“Yes, an insult.”

 

“Not you fool! The… whatever that is in the distance.”

 

“There’s NOTH… actually, yes, there is. What is it?”

 

“I don’t know, do I?”

 

“*sigh* OK, let’s see… it looks like a… like a… its… glowing yellow, whatever it is. Maybe’s it’s on fire?”

 

“Hmm… the fire doesn’t seem to be going upwards, like normal fire. And that sound. It sounds like… something fast coming towards you.”

 

“…Why has it taken us this long to figure out it’s a missile?”

 

“Too long.” Pohatu quickly tackled Kopaka to the ground with his Mask of Speed, putting them out of the way of the missile. It missed, but then it turned around and started heading back towards them.

 

“Why is it turning back?”

 

“It must a heat seeker!”

 

“Heat, eh?” Pohatu quickly ran off, drawing the attention of the missile, since he was emitting more heat than Kopaka, and they both ran off into the distance.

 

“Hmm. Either the missile will run out of fuel, or he’ll get tired and be blown up. Both are beneficial. Now to see who thinks he can fire at ME and live to see the light of day.”

 

NOT A QUESTION OF WHOM

IT IS A QUESTION OF WHY

Edited November 26, 2015 by The Void: Eater of Worlds

[Petewa]

 

Found it.

Stop replying every goddamn post! It's very distracting.

As you wish.

 

Whoops.

[Toru Nui]

As you wish.

 

Whoops.

IMBECILE!

 

Calling the kettle black, I see.

 

Part 116: A Boy and his Evil Slug Monster

 

Tehutti walked into his hut, after a leisurely morning stroll. Because he thought that was what interesting and intelligent people did, so he did it. He turned his attention to the glass container filled with a mysterious green liquid, and a slug thing. Kraata, Ahkmou called it, who apparently worked for Makuta.

 

Now, Tehutti knew (thought) it was his destiny and his alone to rule the island, but Whenua nor the other Turaga were his greatest obstacle. It was Makuta. He was the one in control on this island, and Tehutti had enough logic to determine he wouldn’t be able to stop him himself. Perhaps the M.a.R.K could, but as shown, that was liable to break down when told something that doesn’t make sense. If only there was a way he or some other Te-Matoran could fit inside, but nothing was big enough.

 

Then he turned his attention to the Kraata.

 

“We, my little slug-like friend, are going to do GREAT things together. Mehehehesheheheahaahaahah…”

 

What a blowhard, the Kraata thought.

 

THIS KRAATA IS MORE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY THAN YOU REALIZE

JUST WAIT AND SEE

[Toru Nui]

Part 117: Told You They Had Shadows

 

“What in Lhii’s name happened to YOU?!”

 

“Nothing much. Except now I have the urge to BURN THIS ENTIRE JUNGLE TO THE GROUND! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHahahah… heheehhahaehmahheheh… ooh, that’s tiring.”

 

“THAT’S tiring? Listening to you idiots babble has given me the urge to lie in a ditch until every other quote sentient unquote being has died. That way the intellectual level of my conversations would SKYROCKET!”

 

“I have no idea what’s going on.”

 

“You never do!”

 

“Don’t you fools get it? These are negative qualities of the Toa magnified a hundred times and given physical form. Probably Makuta’s work.”

 

“Listen gentlemen, nobody has to get harmed.”

 

“I disagree. You and your friends are negativity incarnate, we’re barbaric tribesmen and these guys are a bunch of militaristic nutjobs. Harm is about to go DOWN!”

 

“Look, it’s really quite simple. All you have to do is give us, the Shadow Toa ALL your money and possessions. Then I and my compatriots will leave you alone. RIGHT?!”

 

“Fine… but only if I get to kill anyone who doesn’t agree.”

 

“See if you don’t give us goodies nobody will be able to save you. GAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHthat IS tiring. Sorry.”

 

“We’ll never give in to the likes of YOU!”

 

“Oh really fools?”

 

“REALLY!”

 

“I too am really.”

 

“Me three.”

 

“As a fellow worshiper of Makuta I have to say I welcome your tyrannical rule. Do I get to join up with this protection program for free?”

 

“No.”

 

“HELP ME.”

 

“You idiots, the REAL Toa will stop you!”

 

“No, YOU idiots! How can they stop THEMSELVES?! GUAHAHHHAHHRHAHAAAAOAAOAHAOOHAHAHA! You know that time it wasn’t tiring.”

 

IN ORDER TO DEFEAT YOUR EVIL TWIN YOU MUST FIRST BECOME YOUR EVIL TWIN

NOT TOO HARD CONSIDERING YOU ARE TECHNICALLY HIM

Edited July 15, 2016 by Toru Nui

[Petewa]

IN ORDER TO DEFEAT YOUR EVIL TWIN YOU MUST FIRST BECOME YOUR EVIL TWIN

NOT TOO HARD CONSIDERING YOU ARE TECHNICALLY HIM

That's confusing.

[Toru Nui]

Part 118: Silence the Truth

 

Nuparu quickly recapped about ninety posts worth of plot to Nixie. She soon realised what was really going on. That the Po-Matoran were the real enemies, and that the Ta-Matoran were just being stupid. As usual.

 

“Then that means… Turaga Onewa has tricked Turaga Nokama into helping him overthrow Turaga Vakama!”

 

“He has?! Quick, where is he?!”

 

“On the Golden Beach, with the Ga-Matoran! They need to know the truth!”

 

“Correct. Hopefully they will listen to what we have to say.”

 

A few hours later, in the Turaga’s hut…

 

“Will you PLEASE listen to what we have to say?!”

 

“Nokama, don’t be stupid! I would never betray Vakama or trick you! Makuta DID say the Onu-Matoran sided with him.”

 

“But… it just… you’re right. He can’t be trusted. Macku put him in Vhisola’s hut and use it as a brig. Or something.”

 

“Yes maam.”

 

“You son of a-“

 

“Quiet. And please get me something to eat, dear.”

 

“Yes maam.” Macku left the hut, taking a protesting Nuparu with her.

 

“Oi vey… Hewkii boy, please get me something to eat as well.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“And please guard Nuparu to ensure he doesn’t get out.”

 

“Yes sir.” He did so.

 

“Idiots.”

 

“ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN, HAHAHAHAHA… A CIVIL WAR WILL ALSO HELP KEEP THE TOA PREOCCUPIED.”

 

A GREAT PLAN MAKUTA

THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT THE TOA PROBABLY WILL NOT CARE

BECAUSE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF JERKS AND IDIOTS

[Toru Nui]

Part 119: We All Make Mistakes, Some More than Others

 

“Dagnabit Nuparu, you’ve invented TONS of weapons! WHERE THE KARZAHNI ARE THEY?!” Onepu rummaged around Nuparu’s house, looking for SOMETHING to use against Tehutti’s giant robot. But he was having no luck. He found a fusion-powered blender, an oven animated by black magic, but nothing resembling a weapon.

 

Then he realised they were in the weapon cabinet.

 

“Spiriah.”

 

Looking inside the cabinet, he saw something that would put Prof. Farnsworth’s doomsday device collection to shame.

 

“Hmm… how do I know which one will do the most damage?” Out of genre savviness, he chose the one glowing purple and black.

 

This would become the greatest mistake of his life.

 

Meanwhile, Tehutti walked up to the dormant M.a.R.K, and ordered the Kraata to replace the brain core. The Kraata squirmed and writhed in pain as various cords were dug into its body. Tehutti giggled in glee.

 

This would become the greatest mistake of HIS life.

 

THINGS ONLY GET CRAZIER FROM NOW ON