Popular Post Onuki Posted July 30, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted July 30, 2015 Wedding AnnouncedResidents Delighted, but Baffled Sources report the engagement of Po-Koro’s happy-go-lucky Hewkii to Macku, an undistinguished swimmer of Ga-Koro. They have since received congratulations from friends and fans across the island, with Turaga Onewa allegedly stating that all gifts can be sent directly to his address. However, Mata Nui’s denizens have also come to realize that they don’t really know what to expect from a wedding. “We’ve never really done this before,” said a puzzled Kotu of Ga-Koro, citing the fact that Ga-Matoran find 90% of their male cohabitants unfit for marriage. “Where will they live? Will they have two places? That probably breaks the Mata Nui tax code or something.” Another Matoran added, “Hewkii doesn’t even like water. Not to mention nobody knows whose last name they will take.” Macku and Hewkii are among the overwhelming majority of islanders who lack last names. Turaga and local Women’s Rights spokesperson Nokama emphasized the hard stance being taken by Ga-Koro on the issue. “We’re not settling for anything less than 50% equity. The days of unequal partner rights on Mata Nui are over,” she scowled, citing a disastrous, little-publicized marriage to Turaga Vakama last century. “Hewkii probably thinks he can walk all over us, but he’s wrong. He can’t fool us into thinking that marriage isn’t a combative thing.” On the flip side, earlier this week fellow swimmer Hahli candidly referred to the couple as “cute.” The couple has reportedly set a date for a ceremony to be held in the treetop village of Le-Koro and officiated by longtime friend and erstwhile wedding officiator Tamaru. Rumors report that neither Vakama nor Nokama has been invited, prompting a satisfied Turaga Whenua to quip, “All the more for us!” So far, the pair has received an awkwardly large herd of Mahi from the Po-Koro Koli team and a small blob of lava from sycophantic Guard Captain Jaller of Ta-Koro that subsequently hardened into a nondescript, dark rock during transit. The Mata Nui postal service remains wary of any other ridiculous wedding gifts and is encouraging well-meaning gift-givers to “think before they send something both dangerous and useless.” Despite these concerns, the couple reassured their neighbors that they have no grudges against each other and that, among other things, Hewkii is “slotted to start swimming lessons later this week.” 23 Quote The Latest and Fakest in Bionicle News Wanted: Chronicler | Wedding Announced | Bohrok-Kal Miffed | Staring Contest Continues Hakuna Vakama | Rau Convention Held | Globe Circumnavigated | Carver Offers Advice | Parade Possible Onepu Characterized | Koli Ball Shortage | Le-Koro Discovered | Toa Don Disguises | Top Toa Tied | Ko-Koro Welcomes Tahnok Hakuna Vakama Animation | Macku Goes Missing | In the Ice | The 1000 Word 2001 Poem | Kopaka the Toa | Honest Bionicle Trailers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petewa Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Oh man, this is hilarious. Sorry, I'm not usually at a loss for words, but this is hilarious. 2 Quote Mataru Nui, an Interactive Adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dallior Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 This is pure gold. Great job, you've done it again. 1 Quote "Remember when the comics forum had a lot of good stuff? Let's make that a thing again." -Kazi the Matoran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Inika Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Great job, I was puzzle by the title but was not disappointed one bit! 2 Quote "You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer." -- Turaga Nokama Click here to visit my library! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSkeletonMan939 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I love the idea that the Turaga are like really old people who hate each other. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toa Smoke Monster Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 This is pretty funny. It also makes me wonder how a wedding would commence on the Island of Mata Nui, and it raises the right questions for it as well. (Where WOULD they live? Whose last name would they take, if they had last names?) And I can only imagine how badly Hewkii's swimming lessons will end up being. 3 Quote Everyone is one choice away from being the bad guy in another person's story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bionicleFanatic Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Yes! Yes! XD Exactly what I needed! Finally, some Real comedy on the Internet XD 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onuki Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 Thanks, everyone! Oh man, this is hilarious.Sorry, I'm not usually at a loss for words, but this is hilarious. It's okay, I'm just glad you laughed! This is pure gold. Great job, you've done it again. Thanks! Great job, I was puzzled by the title but was not disappointed one bit! Thanks, Master Inika, I'm humbled to hear that from a skilled author like yourself! I love the idea that the Turaga are like really old people who hate each other. Yes, that is fun, isn't it? This is pretty funny. It also makes me wonder how a wedding would commence on the Island of Mata Nui, and it raises the right questions for it as well. (Where WOULD they live? Whose last name would they take, if they had last names?) And I can only imagine how badly Hewkii's swimming lessons will end up being. Thanks, Smoke Monster! I agree, there are some pretty funny questions that come up when you think about it! Yes! Yes! XD Exactly what I needed! Finally, some Real comedy on the Internet XD I'm glad you enjoyed it that much, thanks, bionicleFanatic! This makes me wonder if there's a funny story in Hewkii and Macku's actually getting married... 3 Quote The Latest and Fakest in Bionicle News Wanted: Chronicler | Wedding Announced | Bohrok-Kal Miffed | Staring Contest Continues Hakuna Vakama | Rau Convention Held | Globe Circumnavigated | Carver Offers Advice | Parade Possible Onepu Characterized | Koli Ball Shortage | Le-Koro Discovered | Toa Don Disguises | Top Toa Tied | Ko-Koro Welcomes Tahnok Hakuna Vakama Animation | Macku Goes Missing | In the Ice | The 1000 Word 2001 Poem | Kopaka the Toa | Honest Bionicle Trailers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 This is a fantastic piece of Bionicle comedy! I actually started laughing halfway, which doesn't happen with me often. A must-read for any Hewkii x Macku fan out there. Great job! 1 Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroxx Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I just saw your comment somewhere and the link in your signature immediately caught my attention! This is a real a gem, I've been giggling all the way! You have made a really good job presenting the whole story as an article, I really like it. And the part about the Mahi herd... 1 Quote New pages are up! Click to see latest! \(°u°)/ Gallery & conceptart topic - Current: Pre-mut & pre-ev Makuta: Krika | Antroz | Vamprah | Miserix | Bitil | .. Older pics: Helryx's Fury | Makuta Sethuldur | Order's Call (no necro k? C8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onuki Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 This is a fantastic piece of Bionicle comedy! I actually started laughing halfway, which doesn't happen with me often. A must-read for any Hewkii x Macku fan out there. Great job! Thanks, Toatapio Nuva! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I just saw your comment somewhere and the link in your signature immediately caught my attention! This is a real gem, I've been giggling all the way! You have made a really good job presenting the whole story as an article, I really like it. And the part about the Mahi herd... Thanks! The news article format is pretty fun to work with, since news stories are usually serious. I'm glad you liked it so much! Quote The Latest and Fakest in Bionicle News Wanted: Chronicler | Wedding Announced | Bohrok-Kal Miffed | Staring Contest Continues Hakuna Vakama | Rau Convention Held | Globe Circumnavigated | Carver Offers Advice | Parade Possible Onepu Characterized | Koli Ball Shortage | Le-Koro Discovered | Toa Don Disguises | Top Toa Tied | Ko-Koro Welcomes Tahnok Hakuna Vakama Animation | Macku Goes Missing | In the Ice | The 1000 Word 2001 Poem | Kopaka the Toa | Honest Bionicle Trailers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erasmus Graves Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I had a good laugh over this one. Loved the news article feel and Jaller being a sycophant.But if Whenua said: "All the more for us!"I wonder what Turaga Dume would have said (if he'd been on Mata Nui at the time)? Probably something like: "Grrrghsnf...Where're my slippers?...Uggrug...Getting married are they?...Why aren't I invited?...Sknf...Lousy young Matoran, no respect for their elders, not like the old dayszzz...*snore*" (Falls asleep in his Turagachair) Anyway, great bit of humour. By any chance shall we get another comedy in a similar vein? 1 Quote "Mutiny, Booty and Entropy" - The Three Vices of the Frostelus[flash=250,100]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/sprxtrerme/BANNERS/thornax.swf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onuki Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 I had a good laugh over this one. Loved the news article feel and Jaller being a sycophant.But if Whenua said: "All the more for us!"I wonder what Turaga Dume would have said (if he'd been on Mata Nui at the time)? Probably something like: "Grrrghsnf...Where're my slippers?...Uggrug...Getting married are they?...Why aren't I invited?...Sknf...Lousy young Matoran, no respect for their elders, not like the old dayszzz...*snore*" (Falls asleep in his Turagachair) Anyway, great bit of humour. By any chance shall we get another comedy in a similar vein? Thanks, Erasmus! I'm glad you enjoyed that way of writing since I enjoy writing it! Yeah, the Turaga are really fun characters to write about. They're always telling the Matoran to do something or complaining about the way things used to be... Actually, there might be a sequel to "Wedding Announced" coming, but it's taking a while to finish... 1 Quote The Latest and Fakest in Bionicle News Wanted: Chronicler | Wedding Announced | Bohrok-Kal Miffed | Staring Contest Continues Hakuna Vakama | Rau Convention Held | Globe Circumnavigated | Carver Offers Advice | Parade Possible Onepu Characterized | Koli Ball Shortage | Le-Koro Discovered | Toa Don Disguises | Top Toa Tied | Ko-Koro Welcomes Tahnok Hakuna Vakama Animation | Macku Goes Missing | In the Ice | The 1000 Word 2001 Poem | Kopaka the Toa | Honest Bionicle Trailers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petewa Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 I had a good laugh over this one. Loved the news article feel and Jaller being a sycophant.But if Whenua said: "All the more for us!"I wonder what Turaga Dume would have said (if he'd been on Mata Nui at the time)? Probably something like: "Grrrghsnf...Where're my slippers?...Uggrug...Getting married are they?...Why aren't I invited?...Sknf...Lousy young Matoran, no respect for their elders, not like the old dayszzz...*snore*" (Falls asleep in his Turagachair) Anyway, great bit of humour. By any chance shall we get another comedy in a similar vein? Thanks, Erasmus! I'm glad you enjoyed that way of writing since I enjoy writing it! Yeah, the Turaga are really fun characters to write about. They're always telling the Matoran to do something or complaining about the way things used to be... Actually, there might be a sequel to "Wedding Announced" coming, but it's taking a while to finish... Ooh, I'll be anxiously awaiting that. Quote Mataru Nui, an Interactive Adventure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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