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Onepu Characterized

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Onepu Characterized

Long-Suffering Fans Gratified

 

onepucharacterizedbanner.png

 

 

 

A recent press release confirmed the long-awaited characterization of singular Bionicle denizen Onepu, famed purple rider of Ussal crabs.  The decision came after months of debate among The Lego Group’s top executives, who at last succumbed to pressure from D.A.F.F.O.O.M., Diehard and Feverish Fans of Obscure Matoran.

 

Explained one Lego spokesperson, “We believe this decision fully reflects The Lego Group’s set of time-honored values and commitment to promoting equal opportunity for Lego characters of all levels of familiarity.”  Another company interviewee more candidly quipped, “Don’t mess with D.A.F.F.O.O.M.”

 

The news has delighted fans of the purple Matoran, who had until now endured the slights of both less-than desirable coloring and a lackluster MNOLG backstory.  The generic Ussalry commander was even handed the ultimate insult when passed over for promotion to Toa status in favor of unimpressive storyline neophyte Nuparu in 2006.  Onepu enthusiasts are reported to be most excited by the announcement that their favorite Matoran will be promoted to a completely anomalous group of Toa early next year.

 

“We’ve waited so long for this,” sobbed one Bionicle fansite member of unknown emotional stability.  “Lots of us took it really hard when Onepu had to leave Mata Nui and lost almost all of his storyline relevance, so this is just a really big day for us.”  Several online cohorts were noted to nod their virtual heads in agreement.

 

But not everyone is so pleased with these events.  Critics have been quick to point out the questionable storyline plausibility of the sudden rise in importance of one random villager, moreover one with such a ridiculous color scheme.  Others have cited the unoriginality of another Seventh Toa story arc.  Rebuked one savvy commenter, “That trick only works once.”

 

While Onepu himself was unavailable for comment, a tentative Turaga Whenua was able to be reached.  “We’re all very happy for our deserving Ussal champion,” he mumbled, adding hurriedly, “although no one will ever forget about – er, what’s his name?  Oh!  Nuparu.”

 

Whatever inspired twists of personality are given to the purple Matoran in the coming months, fans are reportedly not yet satiated: D.A.F.F.O.O.M. is rumored to be entering talks regarding the blandly-portrayed Bionicle character Kotu.

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I can tell you what Onepu is like. In fact I have him right here. So Onepu, tell us a bit about yourself.

 

"I'm the voice of reason within the Onu-Koro community."

 

How does that feel?

 

"Well between an incredibly stoic and emotionless Turaga, a short-tempered and quite possibly mad inventor, a childlike super-strong miner and a megalomaniacal strike leader... not that bad, actually."

 

And is there anything else about you?

 

"I have vertigo."

 

"OH YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. LEWA, PREPARE THE NUI-RAMA SWARMS."

 

"Yes my lord. Nyaheheheh..."

 

Well that can't be good. Oh, and some nice work Onuki. I look forward to more Bionicle News.

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:infected:

 

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Thanks, guys!  While it's true that Onepu gets a bit of characterization in the MNOLG and that one Bohrok animation, he's still always felt somewhat lacking.  I think part of the problem is that some things were cut from Onu-Koro in the MNOLG due to time constraints or something.  But maybe like you said, Toru Nui, Onepu's strength is as a stoic character amidst all the wild ones!

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I was always kinda bummed about what happened to Onepu too. I think he could have been a cool addition to a Toa team, perhaps with some members of the Chronicler's company.


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I was always kinda bummed about what happened to Onepu too. I think he could have been a cool addition to a Toa team, perhaps with some members of the Chronicler's company.

I've always headcanoned that the chronicler's company became Toa whilst we were busy paying attention to the Inika/Mahri.

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