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Bonkle

Bonkle's Member Comedies!

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Hello everybody, it's Bonkle and I'm trying out my first comedy type thingy. So how this works is you submit your Bionicle-related character and give them an adventure to go on, and then I write a short, humorous story.

 

For example, Petewa asked me to write about his Po-Toa character travelling to other dimensions with a TARDIS, so I decided to have his character visit other LEGO universes.

 

Anyone is welcome to have one written, but I'll only do one per member, unless you and someone else can agree on a "team" story.

 

Writing Process:

 

1. Turn on music

2. Realize I can't focus with music playing

3. Turn off music

4. Struggle

5. The writing flows

6. Ugh, now I've got to type it in

7. ????

8. Success!

 

Table of Contents:

 

Petewa: This post

Irrie: This post

Dragon

Kovika

Olita

 

 

Short Comedies: Petewa

Starring: Petewa, Dragon, Shadow, and Dane

 

"I still don't think it's a good idea," Dragon hissed. He and Petewa were heading down to the conference room for breakfast with the rest of the Kanohi Force.

 

"Relax, it'll be fine, as long as Shadow doesn't find out."

 

"Whatever. But don't say I didn't warn you."

 

The pair entered the room, the sounds of clinking silverware and chatter everywhere. Petewa casually glanced at Shadow as he helped himself to a whole plate of bagels. The Av-Matoran did not appear to be particularly interested in him. After they were all done eating, Petewa accidentally bumped into Shadow. A few papers fell from his trenchcoat. As he and Shadow bent down to pick them up, Petewa noticed what one index card said: STOP PETEWA. Suddenly, he bolted for the door, with Shadow in hot pursuit.

 

Dragon disappointedly said aloud, "Smh." Dane quickly came over and high-fived him.

 

Meanwhile, in the halls, Shadow was gaining a lead. Using his Kakama, he had nearly caught up with Petewa. As the Po-Toa disappeared around a corner, Shadow went left, down the stairwell to the garage. However, Petewa had stashed his vehicle in a closet off to the right. He snickered as he powered up the TARDIS and set coordinates for a random LEGO dimension.

 

Down in the garage, Shadow heard the hum of the TARDIS and realized his mistake. Even as he dashed up the stairs, he knew it was too late.

 

"PEEEEETEEEEEWAAAA!"

 

Back in the TARDIS, Petewa was relaxed. Shadow worried too much. How harmful was pranking a few people in other LEGO dimensions? He grabbed a few water balloons as the Police Box reached its first destination.

 

He stepped out into a world of fun and color.

 

Petewa was utterly disgusted.

 

A bipedal squirrel walked up to him, a stream of sparkles coming from its tail.

 

"Hello, new friend! Welcome to FABU-"

 

"Nope."

 

Petewa quickly got back in the TARDIS and hit the random button again. This time, he landed on a bridge and narrowly dodged some laser fire as he got out. He realized where he was: Sentai Mountain! With a cry of, "Notice me Sentai!" he hit the nearest battle machine with a water balloon. The blue-haired pilot just stared at him for a second before rattling something off in Japanese. Several other mechs arrived and then things got really weird. The background became monochrome, with white lines streaking upwards. There were a bunch of crazy sound effects as we got close-ups of the weapons before all the mechs blasted Petewa. He was knocked back into the TARDIS, and he quickly hit the home button.


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Short Comedies: Irrie

Starring: Irrie and Ghidora

 

Irrie woke up, already at maximum Frenchness. He got out of bed, singing La Marseillaise entirely in "hon hon's" He had something important to do today: he was searching for the fabled Almighty Baguette, a piece of bread created from raw gold and magic, located at the top of the highest peak in the land. Grabbing his Kaukau and Jo staff, he hopped into the MoustacheMobile and drove off towards the mountains.

 

Finding the tallest mountain was no challenge, but climbing it was. Irrie had to leave behind the MoustacheMobile and continue up the slope on foot. Using his Jo staff as a walking stick, he was able to make decent progress. However, he soon encountered another climber! Could it be someone else trying to get the baguette? As Irrie got closer, he saw that his challenger was a mime! He knocked him away with his Jo staff, sending the mime crashing down the mountain. Suddenly, the mime made some hand gestures and a platform appeared under him, breaking his fall. He made more gestures and the platform soared back up to Irrie's level. The mime smashed the platform into Irrie's head before trapping him in a mime box. Then he continued sprinting up the mountain. Irrie was trapped, there was no escape. Ghidora casually walked by and dropped a Taco Bell chalupa on the box.

 

"Think outside the bun," he said.

 

What could he mean by that?" Irrie thought.

 

"Think outsi..... Think outside the box!" he shouted out.

 

Of course! He had French powers; all he had to do was mimic opening a box. He escaped from his prison and charged up the mountain, sending snow everywhere. Irrie quickly caught up to the mime, who put his hands on his face in shock. Irrie summoned a wall in front of the mime as they ran. The mime hit the wall head on and exploded into dust.

 

Irrie finished the climb up to the peak and found the Almighty Baguette, but it was on the other side of a lava lake! As he approached, a booming voice said, "True or false. France is the world's most visited country."

 

"True," Irrie said.

 

A stone step appeared over the lava and the voice asked another question. After correctly answering ten, there was a full bridge across the lava. Irrie excitedly ran over the bridge and nabbed the Almighty Baguette. He held it over his head and cried, "Hon hon" for all of BZ-Nui to hear.

Edited by Bonkle
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It's good to know that there's another avid writer among the KF memburz. 

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bZpOwEr

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I want to try out writing now.

Writing is one of the greatest things in the world. You can escape any limitations imposed by reality and tell the story you want to tell.

 

Oh yeah, do you want one of these chapters written? You'll be third in line.

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Sure thing. Could I request a chapter about a Ko-Matoran named Olita who decides to explore all of Mata Nui? He has a color scheme of light blue and white. His noble Ruru, hands, torso & feet are blue while the rest of his body is white. Oddly, his eyes are yellow, unlike a normal Ko-Matoran's.

  • Upvote 1

If you like Pingu & want to support a good project, click here. Also, I've rejoined the BZPRPG & I have a new profile for a new game. Click here to see it.

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Sure thing. Could I request a chapter about a Ko-Matoran named Olita who decides to explore all of Mata Nui? He has a color scheme of light blue and white. His noble Ruru, hands, torso & feet are blue while the rest of his body is white. Oddly, his eyes are yellow, unlike a normal Ko-Matoran's.

Sure! I can already see him getting really ticked off by some idiotic Po-Matoran and just skipping Ta-Wahi entirely. :P

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Sure, i guess.

 

Try to make one except make me scary insane instead of goofy insane.

But it's a comedy...

 

 

 

 

I'll just fill it with Heath Ledger Joker quotes.

 

Anyways, what adventure do you want to go on?

 

EDIT: Here are the next three Short Comedies.

 

Short Comedies: Dragon11603

Starring: Dragon

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE! This story is best enjoyed if you read the "book" sections in the voice of the announcer from the Portal games.

 

Dragon was strolling through the streets of BZ-Metru, eating a cheeseburger. He was extremely bored. He paused for a moment in front of a small store, Chronicler's Books, and decided to head in. After browsing the fiction and skirting around the vampire romance section, he came to the most boring area of all*: nonfiction Dragon knew he would never find anything good here, but he had nothing better to do. He nearly dozed off as he passed by column after column of almanacs. However, one title caught his eye: How to Train Your Kardas Dragon. He nabbed the last copy and rushed over to the counter. The Maxilos unit scanned it and said in a monotone: "Five Irrational Rock Dollars."

 

Dragon slapped a peanut and a widget on the counter and ran.

 

Next, he went to the zoo and lured a mid-sized Kardas out of its pen with the remains of his cheeseburger. Dragon took it back to the Kanohi Force tower and began the training.

 

LESSON ONE: TRUST

 

Before your dragon does any tricks, even before it likes you, it needs to know you are trustworthy.

 

Dragon climbed onto the Kardas and blindfolded it. Then he jumped off and stood behind it, arms outstretched in front of himself. The Kardas lurched backwards and fell, like a mighty tree cut down for timber. Dragon was crushed under the weight of the beast.

 

"So much for trust," he said, muffled.

 

LESSON TWO: LOYALTY

 

Now that your dragon sees you as an honorable person, you can get it to like you.

 

Dragon tossed a few Irrie bucks at the Kardas. It scorched the currency and him.

 

LESSON THREE: FLIGHT

 

Now that you and your dragon are friends, you can begin to learn basic aerial maneuvers together!

 

Dragon mounted the Kardas and attached some reigns. It quickly bucked him off and he smashed into the ceiling.

 

LESSON FOUR: ADVANCED MANEUVERS

 

At this point, you should be ready to tackle tougher moves like the triple-backflip-fire ring, or the-

 

Dragon shut the book and started walking the Kardas back to the zoo.

 

*I do not share this view, all books are worthwhile.

 

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Short Stories: Kovika

Starring: Kovika and Dane

 

Kovika was enjoying a movie and some popcorn when he suddenly heard a cry of "UGLY!"

 

He just sighed as Dane jumped from the ceiling and pulled him out of his recliner. He had to stifle a yawn as Dane dragged him away. Dane paused, then a smirk spread across his face as he saw how bored his captive was.

 

"Tell you what. I'm feeling generous today," he said. Suddenly, Kovika was alert.

 

"I'll give you five Irrie bucks," Dane continued, "if you get me the legendary Dagger of Thorns, which holds the power of all third dimension lemons.

 

"Deal," Kovika said.

 

Ha, it doesn't exist! Dane thought. He'll be wandering BZ-Nui forever!

 

Kovika called his giant Visorak and rode off. They made good progress into COT land and soon found a lemon castle. Assuming this was the place, he tied up the Visorak, which immediately began eating the castle. He attempted to enter the castle, but he heard a shrieking voice shout, "UNACCEPTABLE!" and he was launched back out. Thinking cleverly, he tore some lemon skin from the outer wall and put it on. Then, he returned to the gate.

 

"I am Akivok, the baron of lemons!"

 

The gates opened and he found himself among the ugliest lemons ever. However, these were humanoid lemons with long limbs and grotesque faces. Kovika was getting freaked out. All this for five Irrie Bucks? he thought. Then again, they do have a high exchange rate. Making himself look important, he strode into the throne room. Inside was a rather..... wide lemon with a crown. In one hand he held the Dagger of Thorns! Kovika bowed low and said, "My lord."

 

The king snorted, then waved the dagger. Several guards burst in.

 

"You are no lemon, traveller."

 

"Apologies for the deception, great one. I would like to propose a trade. Your dagger for umm.... this smoothie! Yes!"

 

The king took one taste of the lemon smoothie and accepted the trade without thinking of the implications. Kovika rode back to the tower on his Visorak and presented the Dagger of Thorns to Dane. Dane was shocked! He thought he had just made the dagger up on the spot!

 

"I... uh... this is the ULTIMATE Dagger of Thorns, not the regular one!" Dane threw it in the trash, put Kovika in a headlock, and dragged him away. Once again, Kovika had to stifle a yawn.

 

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Short Comedies: Olita (LTSC)

Starring: Olita and a few alluded Matoran

Author's note: I may attempt redoing this story in my normal style, but I set it up like this for a joke at the end, and I figured this was a good format for a Ko-Matoran's sarcasm.

 

Entry 1. I've decided to leave Ko-Koro.

 

Entry 2. Well, I will be coming back. but I've decided to explore all of Mata Nui. I'll probably see some interesting things, so I'm keeping this record. Obviously, I know all about Ko-Wahi, and, frankly, there isn't much to see. I'm hesitant to do so, but it seems I'll be starting in Ta-Wahi.

 

Entry 3. Heading into a forest because it doesn't look too hot.

 

Entry 4. Met some anti-Sonic who thinks fast is slow.

 

Entry 5. This forest looks the same everywhere! Going to Ta-Koro.

 

Entry 6. Apparently I got heatstroke after one second. A few hours have passed. Nothing here but fire and lava anyway. Headed to Ga-Wahi.

 

Entry 7. There are FEMALES on this island?!

 

Entry 8. They don't seem to do much besides fish. Taking a boat to Po-Wahi.

 

Entry 9. Encountered a conceited carver. I'm way more humbled than he is, seeing how I am a Ko-Matoran and all.

 

Entry 10. In Po-Koro. I keep telling them I don't want to trade but they keep shoving stuff in my face. There's this one jerk with a black Rau trying to sell me a rock. I punched him in the face for thinking I was dumb enough to buy a rock.

 

Entry 11. Apparently rocks are important around here.  Moving on to Onu-Wahi.

 

Entry 12. Rode a big crab down into Onu-Koro. Very damp, cold, totally isolated. I like it!

 

Entry 13. Seems these guys are mostly miners. Some of them are purplr, so there's that.

 

Entry 14. They wanted my help for expanding the Le-Koro highway, but I told them I needed to keep my hands clean for writing. One tan Matoran with a Pakari even gave me a towel! Gullible fool. Taking the highway to Le-Koro.

 

Entry 15. A lot of huge bugs here, they're freaking me out.

 

Entry 16. Everyone here is short, green, and they all talk funny. They're pretty much Yodas. Last stop, Kini Nui!

 

Entry 17. Interesting to see where Takua and the others fought off the Rahi. However, I could not enter the Makuta's lair, not that I would want to. Looks like I'll be heading back to Ko-Koro.

 

Entry 18. Everyone I met is here to greet me, ugh. They're all so annoying They're trying to throw me a party---

 

Entry 19. See entry 1.

Edited by Bonkle
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I would like to make a request. I want a story about a matoran named The Tokytot whose mission is to collect every banana on Metru-Nui. He's all orange and has an orange Pakari and navy blue top hat. He wears orange converse, a navy blue tux and pants, an orange long-sleeve, buttoned shirt, and a navy blue bow tie. Oh, and he has the element of the number 8. Maybe he's an Oct-matoran or something. 


ALL HAIL CORN GUY


Series_17_Corn_Guy__71188.1493474740.500

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I would like to make a request. I want a story about a matoran named The Tokytot whose mission is to collect every banana on Metru-Nui. He's all orange and has an orange Pakari and navy blue top hat. He wears orange converse, a navy blue tux and pants, an orange long-sleeve, buttoned shirt, and a navy blue bow tie. Oh, and he has the element of the number 8. Maybe he's an Oct-matoran or something. 

Is that official information on you? More for the Wiki! :D


~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

sotpbanner.png

~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to

NickonAquaMagna~

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Can a person make multiple requests?

Yes, you can, but be aware that this project has all but dissolved. At the moment I have a lot of school stuff going on, at some point I may get started again. I've got, like, seven unfulfilled requests at the moment.

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