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Delva-Nui: Shadowed Review Topic


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4 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Emotionless

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Posted Nov 28 2011 - 11:11 PM

Okay, here it is! Tell me what you think of my epic here! Tell me what you like and dislike of it. I'm listening!

Edited by Sybre, Nov 28 2011 - 11:12 PM.

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Live while you can while there's air in your lungs. Live your life in the best way you can and die with no regrets. Life is too good to brush off, so live your life and love it.

 

Click here to go to Snax, the SybreNetX reboot!

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Click the homemade banner to go to Sonic: Pure Chaos!

 

The Feline Chronicles | Noobicorn Inc. | Toa Piraka Hakann Comics | Kamen Rider: NoobzlayerDestruction Comics | Toa 95 Comics | Will Most Likely Fail Epicly | Second Time's The Charm | Prototypes

 

Why must all our greatest dreams come to an end? I would have slept for eternity just to keep my favorite one...

 

"Gentlemen, I have returned." ~Sybre, real life


#2 Offline Phoenix Zero

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Posted Dec 24 2011 - 10:15 PM

So wait, were you the legendary hero who founded Delva-Nui?And I think your epic is good, but perhaps you could work on better formatting. Just a suggestion.
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#3 Offline Emotionless

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Posted Dec 24 2011 - 11:04 PM

So wait, were you the legendary hero who founded Delva-Nui?And I think your epic is good, but perhaps you could work on better formatting. Just a suggestion.

Eh, mostly. But I made up Delva-Nui long before I came up with Sybre. I even drew a map or two of it. I even remember what it looks like! And formatting?

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Live while you can while there's air in your lungs. Live your life in the best way you can and die with no regrets. Life is too good to brush off, so live your life and love it.

 

Click here to go to Snax, the SybreNetX reboot!

spc_logo.png

Click the homemade banner to go to Sonic: Pure Chaos!

 

The Feline Chronicles | Noobicorn Inc. | Toa Piraka Hakann Comics | Kamen Rider: NoobzlayerDestruction Comics | Toa 95 Comics | Will Most Likely Fail Epicly | Second Time's The Charm | Prototypes

 

Why must all our greatest dreams come to an end? I would have slept for eternity just to keep my favorite one...

 

"Gentlemen, I have returned." ~Sybre, real life


#4 Offline Phoenix Zero

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Posted Dec 24 2011 - 11:15 PM

What I meant is that maybe instead of just one large paragraph, you could split up the chapter into different paragraphs to match the tone of each scene.
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#5 Offline Emotionless

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Posted Jan 01 2012 - 04:49 PM

What I meant is that maybe instead of just one large paragraph, you could split up the chapter into different paragraphs to match the tone of each scene.

Oh. I get it.

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Live while you can while there's air in your lungs. Live your life in the best way you can and die with no regrets. Life is too good to brush off, so live your life and love it.

 

Click here to go to Snax, the SybreNetX reboot!

spc_logo.png

Click the homemade banner to go to Sonic: Pure Chaos!

 

The Feline Chronicles | Noobicorn Inc. | Toa Piraka Hakann Comics | Kamen Rider: NoobzlayerDestruction Comics | Toa 95 Comics | Will Most Likely Fail Epicly | Second Time's The Charm | Prototypes

 

Why must all our greatest dreams come to an end? I would have slept for eternity just to keep my favorite one...

 

"Gentlemen, I have returned." ~Sybre, real life





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