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The Destiny of Teridax


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4 replies to this topic

#1 Offline FallenAtlas

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Posted Oct 02 2015 - 01:55 PM

 Teridax chuckled. The Universe was his to control, the power of a God in him, of him, is him. Teridax, master of creation and death, and soon to control a planet on top of that.

 

 Mata Nui stood below him, in that wretched robot he had found. Teridax sighed. It would have been easier to squish Mata Nui with his foot, but this should be entertaining. He landed upon the planet's surface, eager to join the battle. The possibility of crushing a village or 20 when he stepped didn't cross his mind. The only thing he wanted now was to kill Mata Nui and finished this war.

 

 The robots clashed, hand to hand, power against power. Teridax laughed. Mata Nui wasn't trying. He seemed...distracted. “No matter.” he rumbled, “he'll fall all the easier.” Another swing, another blow, Mata Nui staggered back.

 

 Mata Nui extended his arms, and vast gravity wells exploded from his hands. Teridax slammed another fist home into the robot. What was he trying to do? None of his attacks, if they could be called that, were directed at him. Was he mocking him? Teridax growled. “The verge of defeat, and he plays the jester!”

 

 He raised his fist and-CRASKKSH

 

 Teridax screamed, the systems went dead, the ceiling caved in, and in one slow motion, he felt the entire Universe-his universe-fall. The sound, the groaning, the sudden crash of hitting the planet made him scream again. Then the lights went out.

 

---------------------------------------

 

 He yanked his arms free of the rubble. He gasped in pain as he crawled forward, looking for an exit. His arms were bent at unnatural angles. He couldn't feel his legs. He wasn't sure if they were even still attached to his form. “Mmm....Mata...”

 

 The Universe groaned around him, shifting, as it settled into the planet's surface. He blindly moved forward, moving over, under, around the rubble in his path. Sudden fear struck him; was he moving out of the Universe, or deeper into it? He couldn't tell.

 

 Teridax collapsed in weakness. “I...did the right thing, Mata Nui.”

 

 “You were supposed to protect me and the Matoran. Seizing control of the Universe, Teridax, was treason. You murdered thousands, and caused great pain to all beings you were assigned to protect.”

 

 Teridax growled. “No...no, you caused great pain. You forgot to look within, at us. You became self-absorbed. Became...greedy. You forgot your Unity in sake of your Duty. You let us live in fear and pain, with no answers, because you thought yourself....higher.”

 

 “If I could go back, and do everything over again, I would. I never wanted this, I never wanted you to suffer; I still don't. But I can't go back. Destiny can be changed, but we pick the roads of our Destiny. You choose yours, I choose mine. This is why you are here, dying, old friend.”

 

 Teridax whimpered. “How will the Matoran remember me? I only did...what I did...for them. To guide them, and protect them, because you wouldn't.”

 

 “Teridax....I-I....don't know. Do you wish to die with that on your mind?”

 

 Silence.

 

 “Teridax?”

 

 “Mata Nui...”

 

 “It's going to be okay, friend. I'm here.”

 

 “I....I'm cold.....don't...forget me...”

 

 “I won't. I never will. Goodnight, Teridax, your Destiny is complete.”

 

 Teridax rolled onto his back, and looked up at the ceiling above. And he smiled.


  • 3

Short Stories:

A Chance Meeting | The Destiny of Teridax | End of An Island | A Conversation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BZPRPG


#2 Offline Erasmus Graves

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Posted Dec 04 2015 - 11:43 PM

Well... I'm kind of divided on this one. It's not as good as End of An Island, both prose-wise and story-wise, but it is even more tragic and the concept explored is extremely good. 

 

You give Teridax time to explain his actions and motives, as well as being able to point the finger at Mata Nui, and to lay before him, more candidly and harshly than any other being, all his flaws and transgressions. You give him a fear of death and what will his legacy be, a sort of half-redemption that is touching as it is sad.

 

You also show Mata Nui's virtues, how he gently eases Teridax into death rather than persecute him for all his sins, and forgive him - to an extent - for what he has done.

 

Not as good as End of An Island, but a thoughtful story with some amazing ideas at its heart.


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#3 Offline FallenAtlas

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Posted Dec 05 2015 - 12:02 PM

Thanks for the review. And I have to agree, that this isn't as well done. I do feel I rushed this story, and didn't flesh it as we'll as I could have.

I used the saying, "The path to ###### is paved with good intentions" when writing this. I thought it would be interesting to view it as Teridax wasn't completely evil, but misguided and confused, and just wanting to serve the Universe as Mata Nui(in his eyes) wasn't.

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Short Stories:

A Chance Meeting | The Destiny of Teridax | End of An Island | A Conversation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BZPRPG


#4 Offline Master Inika

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Posted Jun 22 2017 - 12:33 AM

Interesting angle. I've heard rumors that the BIONICLE staff originally wanted to take Makuta in this direction, and this story is an excellent example of how great that route could have been.
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#5 Offline DuplexBeGreat

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Posted Jan 13 2018 - 05:56 PM

I'll be honest, I just can't see Teridax showing remorse. It's just not in him.


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idk man





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