Grantaire Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 FIGHTING TO SURVIVEI dreamed a dream in time gone by… In the rocky desert that houses the village of Gora-Koro on the Northern Continent, a dream is rooted in the captain of the village guard, the thoughtful and yet fierce Fe-Matoran Rahkan: their Toa Protector gone on a mission to rescue their kidnapped elder, the village is at the mercy of any incursion of the threatening beasts of the desert, kept at bay only by the hands of the Matoran villagers themselves. -=- Well, I'm back from a long hiatus, and in the meantime I managed to write a good portion of another epic. To give a brief backstory, this is set some time before the Toa-Dark Hunter war, and it follows the life of a Fe-Matoran trying to survive the misfortunes of life. I will apologize for the prologue not beng the best--I wrote it two years ago, and couldn't really think of any way to improve it without completely deleting it and writing a new one. [The Story] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FallenAtlas Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Welcome back, first of all. I like the writing style, but the conversation felt wooden and rushed. But as you say, two years is a big difference in quality. I can't wait to see how the Mask of Memory works out. I'll be following this one... Quote Short Stories: A Chance Meeting | The Destiny of Teridax | End of An Island | A Conversation | Hurt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grantaire Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 Thanks for the review... I actually was really bored, so I revised the prologue; hopefully you'll find it a bit better. Chapter 1 will probably be up tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.