Project Mayhem [INCOMPLETE]

[Voltex]

by voltex & tbk

 

Back in April of 2014, I had just finished writing an epic called Isolation, and was in the process of writing its sequel, Extraction. There were a number of new characters being introduced in the sequel, and I had an idea for a story starring them that would take place during the events of the first book as a "bridge" of sorts between the two epics. Busy as I was writing the epic, however, I did not want to delay it further by writing what I had titled Project Mayhem.

 

So I got into contact with TBK, and asked if he would be willing to help me turn Project Mayhem into a comic instead. He enthusiastically agreed, and so we got to work.

 

I do not know if the comic will stand up well on its own; it wasn't until Extermination where I started actively trying to make sure every entry in the series was also standalone so that newcomers could understand everything that was happening. Complicating this matter further is that Project Mayhem remains unfinished; out of what was planned to be a 6 or 7 part series, we only completed 4 before TBK vanished from BZPower last November.

 

After more than a year, I figured that I would release what we did complete; while I do not think the writing is really up to par, I do think that TBK's art in Parts 3 and 4 deserves to be shown off.

 

I will release each part over the next few days.

---

 

CHARACTERS

Pictured here are the various BZPower members depicted in the comic; they were all members who had signed up to be characters in Extraction. Links to their profiles are below.

Vinylstep - Canis - MT - Valendale - Tyler - Hero

 

Two other characters also appear in the comic: Kante (a police officer working alongside Canis) and Elittra (a member of Project Mayhem).

 

---

 

COMICS

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

 

SCRIPTS

Part Five & Part Six

 

---

Every bit of art is thanks to TBK; I was responsible for the writing and such.

 

C&C is appreciated, as this is the first time I did anything with a comic; I enjoyed it a lot and would love to do so again in the future, so feedback would be helpful.

 

And I do apologize if nothing makes sense story-wise, but do encourage you all to check out Parts 3 and 4 when I release them, because TBK switched to a hand-drawn style and it looks really cool.

 

I will post Part 2 tomorrow.

Edited December 14, 2015 by Lucina

[Soran]

Howdy,

 

Soran here. How's it going? It's nice to see a new comic pop up. Lately there's been a lot of these so it been very exciting around here. Glad to see I can add another one to the list to watch out for. I'll go ahead and give my first impression of the comic before I went "critique" mode. 

 

The graphics are pretty fantastic. TBK definitely has got a great degree of knowledge in photo manipulation which truly shows in this comic. Almost everything is done exceptionally well. The characters are intriguing as well and the setting is definitely interesting. So nice work on a first impression.

 

Now, before I continue on with the critique I'll have you know that I haven't read anything prior to this series. So this comic would be my first impression, so because of that I'm going to primarily be judging on the graphics and the dialogue present, nothing on the story. At least at this point, nothing. I'll definitely be back and give my impressions on the story after I've read them. 

 

Now onto the critique. 

 

It definitely made very little sense to a new viewer but at the same time this could be used to an advantage. It could be a situation where the viewer is thrown into the middle of the story and the past is very briefly explained in segments. This way you can twist the way how the viewer sees the characters. Perhaps in the middle of the story the villain looks like the good guy while the good guy appears to be the antagonist. Then you pull a switcheroo on them. That's simply my idea of how to remedy the situation without given context through the past stories. Alternatively a solution to this is to build more emphasis on the order of the series as after rereading your intro statement, I still haven't a clue. This is probably the wisest thing to do since it seems that it is an incomplete series that isn't being finished.

 

Next I'll move onto the dialogue. It's more or less good. It definitely gives the reader the impression of there being a conflict of interest, which is good. Since the intentions of Project Mayhem is not shown in the comic it definitely makes the reader think of who the antagonist could truly be. It also did an okay job of introducing one of the character's names. A lot. I definitely won't be misremembering Valendale's name throughout the series, but I wouldn't have a clue of Canis in the actual comic. There could be a good reason for the lack of Canis' name being mentioned, which would be that Valendale simply doesn't know his name. Who knows. The dialogue itself seems fine except for the fact that Canis appears to state Valendale's name too much. It's almost like he's trying to create emphasis on it, like some sort of psychological act to try to make Valendale think that Canis has more authority than he actually does. Perhaps I'm thinking too much into this but it's definitely something that caught my eye.

 

Finally the graphics. I'll go ahead and state that I had to really nitpick to find too many things that could be done differently so TBK, take this with a grain of salt. I'll first state the obvious which is that the backgrounds are pretty fantastic. All with the exception of the last background shown, the outside the building one. This one simply has lots of tiny things that make it seem weaker in comparison to the other ones present. Since it doesn't seem like there will be any continuing on the series I'll mainly just expand on this background.

The buildings in the background are oddly shaped, the lighting on the building in the foreground makes no sense, especially with the sun being where it is. Since it looks like it's either a sun set or a sun rising the shadows should be more intense as is the usual. The shadowy effects around the building are rather weak looking and give no impression of danger as well as the fact that they themselves look rushed. It makes it look like the shadowy tentacles were a last minute addition.  The rock pattern on the floor looks odd considering the fact that it's supposed to be beside a building. It makes it look like it's the product of an earthquake and not an actual intentional design choice. The dirt path surrounding it is also oddly shaped and doesn't match up too well with the already given path. The solution to any misshaped buildings is to simply not rush too much on it and think more structurally on why buildings would be shaped like that. One building being shaped odd is fine, every building being shaped oddly yields to oddity. When fixing the path it's all just a matter of taking the existing rock texture and shrinking it down to a more appropriate size and then just taking what's already present and using it. Then follow along with the cracks and where those end on the path, make little niches. This gives the impression that it's actually been layer there by people and it's above the dirt path. The dirt path just needs to follow perspective better and follow the path better as well. The lighting is simple, it's all a matter of deciding where the light is coming from and adjusting to that. And that's about it for that one. All other backgrounds are definitely exceptional which is great.

 

The speech bubbles bugged me, I'll admit. This is the only serious part of the comic that truly looked amateurish to me and I can easily imagine why it was done that way since I have done it a similar way in the past. It looks as though TBK had come under the assumption that a rounded tail should always be used for a speech bubble to make it look more "professional" or something to a similar regard. That of course is simply an assumption and should not be taken seriously or as any discredit to the artist. There's a time and a place to use the rounded speech bubble's tails and it's a simple rule. When there's enough space for it, then use it, otherwise it looks like the 6th panel in the comic. When the speech bubble is literally straight away from the character in question, it's best just to use a simple straight one. You want the speech bubble tails to be consistent with each other so they don't look at all odd.

 

Here's an example of what I'm talking about

 

In the example given, notice how straight forward the 3rd panel's speech bubbles are in comparison to the character. It's a straight shot, there isn't any need to make it curved. While in the 2nd panel, the speech bubble connecting to the suited character (Loganto disguised as Ghidora) is not nearly as straight as a shot if you were trying to maintain the same size. Because of this, it's best to use a curved tail in this case. It's also best to make the angle and shape of the tail make sense and not be all willy-nilly like in the 4th (Valendale's speech) and 5th (Canis' speech) panels of your comic. 

 

The speech in the speech bubbles could also be lined up better. It should have the capacity of being capable of being wrapped around the bubble like in the first panel of the example I gave. This is obviously much more difficult with the size and lines (2) of text in most of the panels. In this case I would simply suggest trying to line up each text line so that they're more or less equal in length. This also helps with giving the option of being able to use a rounded square text bubble (for those really tight fits) or a more condensed speech bubble. This is something that I've noticed most people have trouble with so it isn't necessarily a big deal, it's just something I've noticed.

 

In terms of the graphics on the panels themselves, those are all good. There are things I've noticed by once again, it was all very minor. The rotation of Valendale on the first panel looks as though the sprite was supposed to be smaller but was resized, making it look odd. This rotation issue is fixed in all future panels though, so I assume TBK caught it. It looks as though he still had Canis in a selection in the 6th panel and used a lighting effect filter, this resulted in giving him a weird outline around the very edge of the sprite. This also isn't done in any other panels. The shadow's opacity under Valendale makes little sense in comparison to the power of the light on the character. It's looks like it's opaque, where if it was supposed to be opaque then there would be heavy shadows on Valendale as well. I would guess just based off of my own memory of opacity levels, that the appropriate shadow depending on the light is somewhere between 50-70%. The darkened characters walking away in the 10th panel looks odd considering they're all a solid color, but that's just a design choice and should not be counted as an actual "mistake" since it isn't. 

 

I figure that I'll at least comment on my favorite panel in all the comic. That has got to be the 8th panel in this comic, which is probably one of the best panels I've seen in comics on the site. It's got excellent perspective, it's very stylized and fits with the rest of the comic, and the fire effect is gorgeous. I'm actually jealous of that fire effect, it's especially well done.

 

Anyway, I'll say that this definitely looks exciting but I'm saddened by the fact that it's incomplete. Regardless of that, I'm excited to see the next comics and read into the story. It'll provide me with some more entertainment which'll be nice. 

 

I am curious though of a few things. Is this story written anywhere else so that we may get a conclusion to the story after all the comics are posted? What is the schedule of release, as you stated that it is something that's already pre made. Is this going to be a weekly update, daily, every other day, etc. How crucial is this story to the already existing story that you've written?

 

Besides those questions and my review I'd say that it's definitely an intriguing series. It's definitely something I'll look forward to in the days/weeks to come. Hopefully the next one is released shortly as I am excited for more.

 

~Soran

[Voltex]

Howdy,

 

Soran here. How's it going? It's nice to see a new comic pop up. Lately there's been a lot of these so it been very exciting around here. Glad to see I can add another one to the list to watch out for. I'll go ahead and give my first impression of the comic before I went "critique" mode. 

 

 Almost everything is done exceptionally well. The characters are intriguing as well and the setting is definitely interesting. So nice work on a first impression.

 

Now, before I continue on with the critique I'll have you know that I haven't read anything prior to this series. So this comic would be my first impression, so because of that I'm going to primarily be judging on the graphics and the dialogue present, nothing on the story. At least at this point, nothing. I'll definitely be back and give my impressions on the story after I've read them. 

 

Now onto the critique. 

 

It definitely made very little sense to a new viewer but at the same time this could be used to an advantage. It could be a situation where the viewer is thrown into the middle of the story and the past is very briefly explained in segments. This way you can twist the way how the viewer sees the characters. Perhaps in the middle of the story the villain looks like the good guy while the good guy appears to be the antagonist. Then you pull a switcheroo on them. That's simply my idea of how to remedy the situation without given context through the past stories. Alternatively a solution to this is to build more emphasis on the order of the series as after rereading your intro statement, I still haven't a clue. This is probably the wisest thing to do since it seems that it is an incomplete series that isn't being finished.

 

Next I'll move onto the dialogue. It's more or less good. It definitely gives the reader the impression of there being a conflict of interest, which is good. Since the intentions of Project Mayhem is not shown in the comic it definitely makes the reader think of who the antagonist could truly be. It also did an okay job of introducing one of the character's names. A lot. I definitely won't be misremembering Valendale's name throughout the series, but I wouldn't have a clue of Canis in the actual comic. There could be a good reason for the lack of Canis' name being mentioned, which would be that Valendale simply doesn't know his name. Who knows. The dialogue itself seems fine except for the fact that Canis appears to state Valendale's name too much. It's almost like he's trying to create emphasis on it, like some sort of psychological act to try to make Valendale think that Canis has more authority than he actually does. Perhaps I'm thinking too much into this but it's definitely something that caught my eye.

 

I figure that I'll at least comment on my favorite panel in all the comic. That has got to be the 8th panel in this comic, which is probably one of the best panels I've seen in comics on the site. It's got excellent perspective, it's very stylized and fits with the rest of the comic, and the fire effect is gorgeous. I'm actually jealous of that fire effect, it's especially well done.

 

Anyway, I'll say that this definitely looks exciting but I'm saddened by the fact that it's incomplete. Regardless of that, I'm excited to see the next comics and read into the story. It'll provide me with some more entertainment which'll be nice. 

 

I am curious though of a few things. Is this story written anywhere else so that we may get a conclusion to the story after all the comics are posted? What is the schedule of release, as you stated that it is something that's already pre made. Is this going to be a weekly update, daily, every other day, etc. How crucial is this story to the already existing story that you've written?

 

Besides those questions and my review I'd say that it's definitely an intriguing series. It's definitely something I'll look forward to in the days/weeks to come. Hopefully the next one is released shortly as I am excited for more.

 

~Soran

 

(quick note: any and all comments directed towards TBK removed since they don't quite apply to myself)

 

Wow, an actual in-depth review; that's way beyond what I was expecting, so thank you!

 

On making little sense to a new viewer: your comments make sense. I don't know if the later parts will help with that at all, unfortunately. The barrier to entry is, in my opinion, very large with this comic and that in itself is unfortunate.

 

Canis definitely says Valendale's name waaay too many times here haha. That's an issue with me not going over the scripts of each part to edit them enough. It's something that I have been improving on in the past year/year and a half since writing this, but at the same time is something that I will never stop being able to improve on.

 

The burning building does look pretty cool, although there's a panel in Part 4 that tops it for sure; TBK can do some pretty cool stuff.

 

As for the incomplete nature of the story - I do have the scripts for Parts 5 and 6, so I can release them here once the first four parts are released. That way the comic's "story" can be completed, at least. I'll be posting the parts daily, so I'll be done with this by the end of next week. It's not very crucial to everything else I've written.

 

Part 2 will go up tomorrow (or tonight if I'm impatient). Thanks for the review!

[Voltex]

 

So, here is Part 2! This is the final part to use the sprite style; TBK switched to drawing the comics with Part 3, and would have continued that style for the rest of the series.

 

I'll get Part 3 up tomorrow (or tonight if I'm really impatient!)

[Soran]

I'll go ahead and skip the serious critique with this one and just go off of what I enjoyed about the comic.

 

Particularly, the dialogue of this one was much better when compared to the other one. I think my favorite part was the transition from the first to the second panel. The dialogue seems natural which is nice and flows smoothly. The only time where it seems to not do so is the 6th panel, where it just suddenly jumps. That part along with Vinyl's dialogue in the 4th panel are the only ones that seem unnatural. 

 

With the 4th panel it just seems like Vinyl's dialogue was too forced. Particularly the part of "let's see if we can get inside," which doesn't make too much sense. Especially when you look toward the following panels where Hero questions what the shadowy stuff is. It makes the character Vinyl seem reckless without displaying the traits that are normally associated with it (i.e. a thrill seeker, discombobulated, etc). Because of this it just appears odd. 

 

The transition from the 5th to the 6th panel is also too sudden. In fact, if I were to reorganize the dialogue I would have it in this format instead (Starting from Hero's dialogue in 4th panel).

 

"That's a fair point. What do you suppose this stuff is?" Hero says while walking up the path toward the shadows.

 

"I haven't a clue. It looks like some sort of shadow projection…" Vinyl responds while following him.

 

"You said this happened 3 hours ago, right?" Vinyl asks.

 

"Yeah, Canis believes that Xaeraz is involved," Hero answers.

 

"Any fool could tell you that Xaeraz is involved," Vinyl snaps. 

 

"Hey, where are you going?" Hero questions, with a worried expression on his face.

 

"I'm going to get a closer look," Vinyl answers. 

 

"C-Careful, we don't even know what this stuff is," Hero looks timid while saying this line.

 

"I'll be fine, what's the worst this stuff can do--" Vinyl is interrupted.

 

"Aah! Vinyl help! I'm getting pulled in!" Hero begins to get pulled in by the shadows.

 

"Shut it and pull!" Vinyl says while pulling Hero.

 

End of dialogue. It then continues on with the 7th panel onward. Something like that I almost feel would work better as it displays the characteristics better of the characters, at least based on this comic what I assume their characteristics are. It also seems slightly more fluid instead of just quick-cutting into the plot device.

 

Of course, this is just a hindsight scenario as you worked on this a while ago and I'm positive that you've improved in that regard. Regardless of that though, the rest of the comic besides those points were done very well. Nice work you two and I'm excited to see how the drawn portion works out.

 

~Soran

[Voltex]

I'll go ahead and skip the serious critique with this one and just go off of what I enjoyed about the comic.

 

Particularly, the dialogue of this one was much better when compared to the other one. I think my favorite part was the transition from the first to the second panel. The dialogue seems natural which is nice and flows smoothly. The only time where it seems to not do so is the 6th panel, where it just suddenly jumps. That part along with Vinyl's dialogue in the 4th panel are the only ones that seem unnatural. 

 

With the 4th panel it just seems like Vinyl's dialogue was too forced. Particularly the part of "let's see if we can get inside," which doesn't make too much sense. Especially when you look toward the following panels where Hero questions what the shadowy stuff is. It makes the character Vinyl seem reckless without displaying the traits that are normally associated with it (i.e. a thrill seeker, discombobulated, etc). Because of this it just appears odd. 

 

The transition from the 5th to the 6th panel is also too sudden. In fact, if I were to reorganize the dialogue I would have it in this format instead (Starting from Hero's dialogue in 4th panel).

 

"That's a fair point. What do you suppose this stuff is?" Hero says while walking up the path toward the shadows.

 

"I haven't a clue. It looks like some sort of shadow projection…" Vinyl responds while following him.

 

"You said this happened 3 hours ago, right?" Vinyl asks.

 

"Yeah, Canis believes that Xaeraz is involved," Hero answers.

 

"Any fool could tell you that Xaeraz is involved," Vinyl snaps. 

 

"Hey, where are you going?" Hero questions, with a worried expression on his face.

 

"I'm going to get a closer look," Vinyl answers. 

 

"C-Careful, we don't even know what this stuff is," Hero looks timid while saying this line.

 

"I'll be fine, what's the worst this stuff can do--" Vinyl is interrupted.

 

"Aah! Vinyl help! I'm getting pulled in!" Hero begins to get pulled in by the shadows.

 

"Shut it and pull!" Vinyl says while pulling Hero.

 

End of dialogue. It then continues on with the 7th panel onward. Something like that I almost feel would work better as it displays the characteristics better of the characters, at least based on this comic what I assume their characteristics are. It also seems slightly more fluid instead of just quick-cutting into the plot device.

 

Of course, this is just a hindsight scenario as you worked on this a while ago and I'm positive that you've improved in that regard. Regardless of that though, the rest of the comic besides those points were done very well. Nice work you two and I'm excited to see how the drawn portion works out.

 

~Soran

 

Yeah, I can see what you mean regarding the dialogue. Unfortunately, I can't really say whether I'd be better now even though it's been so long, as I haven't worked on any comics since. It's different in comics versus the writing I typically do, so I might not improve as much as I'd like to think I have.

[Voltex]

Part 3 early!

 

 

You can read about the bank heist mentioned in the comic right here.

This comic is also where TBK transitioned from pixel art to drawing out the comics.

Edited December 11, 2015 by Lucina

[Voltex]

Here is Part 4. I'll post the scripts to Parts 5 and 6 later.

[Soran]

All I've got to say really is that you weren't kidding about the hand drawn parts being exciting. These were exceptional.

 

I'll go ahead and start with Part 3.

 

It's very well done. The dialogue seems flawless. I've actually tried nitpicking anything I could but for part 3 it's simply impossible to do so. It is that good. It works on a very natural level and gives the audience enough information to infer details later on while also retaining some mystery as to what might be happening.

The art is also very nice and provides some excellent angles and perspectives that would be much more difficult to do had sprites been used. The characters are mostly accurate throughout the comic which is great, and the details work out in the end. Over all, this one is pretty great and definitely a step above parts 1 or 2.

 

Next I'll move onto part 4.

 

Once again, the dialogue seems fluid although there was one thing that I thought was a little off. It is the 8th panel where I've found the "issue" or at least the item of choice being slightly off. It is when Kante has been shot and he says, "I missed one." and then repeats that line again. Normally repeating a line seems unnecessary but in this case it works but I still found a little bit of an issue with it. Considering the context of the quote, Kante was just shot. When you're in a high stress scenario like a gun fight you would most likely have your adrenaline levels at high (it's maximum when your body can see approaching death without having yet been injured). Since he was just shot, him stating that "I missed one." works, because at that point in time his adrenaline levels would be at their highest in the given scenario. But when he repeated that line it would've been better had he trailed off a bit such as "I missed one…" This helps display that he's starting to either lose consciousness or he's at least in a daze from being injured and his adrenaline slowly dissipating. Of course, this is only minor as Canis helps to reaffirm that he is still in a daze with his dialogue. One again, only minor but it was something I had noticed.

The art is very dynamic. Lots of interesting angles and perspective in this one. Since I normally don't like to judge a person's actual style of art, I'll just go with the one thing I was slightly disappointed by. The amazing fire effects were lost in this comic. It makes sense considering how clean and sleek the fire was which would contrast with the overall style of the hand drawn comics but it still was slightly saddening. I will say though that the attention to detail in the backgrounds of the fight definitely make up for the lack of awesome fire so that's a plus.

 

Overall, I would say that both comics are exceptionally well done and I've got to agree with you that they were worth the wait. Nice work on both you two and hopefully you will be able to continue on with what's left.

 

~Soran

[Voltex]

Thanks for the review! Unfortunately, I doubt it will be continued.

[Voltex]

Here are the scripts for Parts 5 and 6.

---

Comic 5

PANEL 1

[“Project Mayhem Part 5”]

 

PANEL 2

[A shot of MT still on the radio, with Canis standing less than three feet away with a handgun pointed at MT’s head. Might be angled from the ground-up. Basically the same view as the final panel of Comic 4]

MT: It’s good to see you, Canis.

Canis: Let’s not waste time, MT. I have more forces inbound.

MT: And what exactly did you want, then?

 

PANEL 3

[Over Canis’s shoulder from behind]

Canis: You’re under arrest.

MT: Am I really, though?

 

PANEL 4

[MT’s POV: Elittra is behind Canis, with a gun pointed at the Detective’s head]

Elittra: Drop the weapon, Canis.

 

PANEL 5

[same view as Panel 2, except Elittra is now also there. Canis has dropped the gun and has his hands up]

MT: You’re going to let us both go free, Canis.

Elittra: And as a reward, we’ll let you live - just this once.

 

PANEL 6

[Cut to Kante slumped at the cruiser, reaching for his sniper rifle. In the distance, the other three can be seen.]

Canis: Fine.

 

PANEL 7

[Kante tries to aim the sniper rifle at the group but collapses, unconscious]

 

PANEL 8

[Elittra elbows Canis in the head]

Elittra: Run! Now!

MT: Already going.

 

PANEL 9

[Overhead shot of Canis lying on the ground as cruisers pull up]

Officer: Canis! Canis!

Officer 2: Wake up!

 

PANEL 10

[in his cell, Valendale is seated on a bench extending from the wall, facing Vinylstep]

Valendale: You think that you can make me speak?

Vinylstep: I thought I’d give it a go.

 

PANEL 11

[“To Be Continued”]

 

---

 

Comic 6

PANEL 1

[Vinylstep and Valendale are seated in a jail cell; the former having interrogated the latter for hours.]

 

PANEL 2

[“Project Mayhem Part 6 - The Conclusion”]

 

PANEL 3

[MT is seated at a table with the Green Huna Matoran, Tyler. They are looking over a sheet of paper.]

MT: You’re certain that this came from the White Council?

Tyler: Positive - Xaeraz verified the source three times.

 

PANEL 4

[Closeup on MT’s face]

MT: The White Council wants all of these Matoran dead….

Tyler: Including me. Someone knows my name.

 

PANEL 5

[MT turns to leave]

MT: I’m gonna go; I’ll give Valendale the package and then grab Xaeraz.

Tyler: Please do.

 

PANEL 6

[At the station, Canis enters Valendale’s cell.]

Canis: Vinyl, something’s come up.

Vinyl: What is it?

 

PANEL 7

[switch to a view of the hallway as they exit]

Canis: The shadows have come down.

Vinyl: You mean-?

Canis: The conference hall is open. I’m gonna get Kante and head over. You find Hero.

 

PANEL 8

[They’ve stopped just outside a door into the medical wing.]

Vinyl: Is Kante fit for duty already?

Canis: Yeah. That advanced shipment of healing spheres we snatched from Project Mayhem… well, we kept a few.

 

PANEL 9

[Cut to Canis driving a cruiser towards the conference hall, with Kante in the passenger seat; in the distance, the figures of several Matoran can be seen.

 

PANEL 10

[same view as Panel 9]

Canis: Alright… let’s see what sort of conspiracy we’ve gotten ourselves into this time.

 

PANEL 11

[“The End"]

[Soran]

Howdy,

 

All right, and now for the conclusion to the series. I'll give my impressions of each script and then wrap up the series at the end.

 

Comic 5 Script:

 

This definitely was interesting. I can envision the scenarios in my head and it definitely works in creating a suspenseful and thrilling appearance. This Dialogue flowed very smoothly and I actually see no faults. It all worked out fluidly and it definitely would've worked out excellently in a comic format. I'll also go ahead and comment on the script as well, that despite seeming somewhat simple, it's definitely nailed down the important details which would help anyone experienced with using scripts be able to work off of it easily. 

Another thing I wish to comment on is probably my favorite moment in the script which was when Kante was reaching for his sniper rifle. It was interesting to me because it set up a false hope scenario, which I've noticed is typically rare with a lot of stories in a novella or comic format. Those types of scenarios are typically reserved for movies but it worked well in this case. It seems like the nature and style of the previous comics just reminded me of situations in a movie so it ended up working out in my mind. So in conclusion of the Comic 5 Script, of what's been displayed I see no faults, it's pretty great.

 

Comic 6 Script:

 

It's tough to comment on this one without context on the previous stories. I suppose I'll keep this one pretty simple. It definitely seems like a conclusion comic. It goes through all the different scenarios in the story and fitfully provides a conclusion for them. The script is once again good and the dialogue transitions smoothly enough for a conclusion comic (which are known for having abrupt switches in scenes). Only thing is that it was simply hard to understand without any context to past scenarios. Of course, this isn't a stand alone side series, at least it doesn't seem like it. It was odd since it had certain scenarios in the story close while leaving others open-ended.

 

Have you ever seen the Twilight Zone episodes? It reminds me of that sort of format for most of their episodes. There's an interesting scenario, something dramatic/climactic happens and then the main character is thrown into a situation that can continue to provide interesting scenarios and then it just stops. What I'm left with is more questions than were answered. Of course, this is simply based off of this comic series alone and not with contextual knowledge of past scenarios in the story or future scenarios. 

 

I would say in conclusion to the Comic 6 Script, that its dialogue is great, it works more or less as a fitting ending comic but it definitely is something that revolves around context. I imagine that the ending would be satisfying to a person who has kept up to date on the story. In contrast, to someone who hasn't kept up to date their reaction is most similar to, "Is that it? That's where it ends?" It definitely still works, it just seems like the demographic is more specifically targeted.

 

In conclusion of the whole series, I would say that this definitely was an interesting series. It's got some great visuals and an interesting story and setting. By throwing the reader in the middle of a conflict it gave the reader some mystery and in the end left the reader eager for more. All in all it was a great series, it's too bad it wasn't finished though. Perhaps in the future you will be able to work on future comic series. Anyway, great work as usual and thanks for the entertainment,

 

~Soran

[Voltex]

Thanks for the review! (And my apologies for the late reply; I somehow missed the notification).

The ending is something I would have been unsatisfied with, truth be told; it would be better reworked to be a more self-contained ending to help the comic stand on its own. Oh well.

 

As for working on a comic in the future... I remain very interested, although it would have to be a collaborative effort as I do not have the skills (nor the time to learn said skills) for the visual aspects. Thus, while I do remain interested in the idea, it is very unlikely to occur.