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Irrie

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Hello, everybody. Today I will be showing you a new project of mine, a sprite comic depicting the adventures of a small group of combatants in a brutal war located on the worst landscape imaginable. 

 

PGS applications are open. If I don't know you personally (i.e. I've never gotten a chance to see what your character is like), then I'd like to have a brief description of your character's behavioral attributes. You must send me a physical description of your character as well. 

I am using the Razor kit, so any masks not found in there will not be used in the comics.

Intro

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

 

 

CHARACTERS:

Partisans: Irrie, Echelon, Smuglyanka, Katyusha

Guerrillas: The 1st Shadow, Korobelniki, Dragon, Polyushko

Legion: Dallior, KovikaTahu 3.0Varchavianka

Unaligned: Bonkle, Geha, PetewaDane

Edited by Irrie
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bZpOwEr

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Well this is a surprise. A pleasant one at that.

 

I'll go ahead and say that this series seems promising. It looks like it's a combination of a comedy with an overarching story. At least that's how I see it based off of the two comics. The setting seems interesting, especially with the specification of what dimension this story takes place in at the top of the first comic. I'm curious if different dimensions or dimensional travel will play a role in this series. I assume I'll find out in due time through the comics, however.

 

The art is simple but it's still quite nice. It brings a nostalgic feeling to me, it makes me remember the series I used to read in the past before everyone demanded photoshop filters and the like. The Razor kit is a nice choice and it definitely is full of many different props and such that you can use to benefit your series. The main tent background is also surprisingly nice as well so good work.

 

The comedy so far has been entertaining with a classic joke and I'm curious how many random things will be pulled out of no where for the characters to enjoy. That could actually be a running joke of sorts. One of the characters just randomly getting all this equipment with the rest of the characters having no idea where he/she gets it. 

 

There are some things I think could be improved graphically, but I'll try to keep them simple enough to match with the rest of the comic's style.

 

One, the outside background of the tent (when the characters are not inside of it). I honestly couldn't tell what it was just from first impressions. It seems rather small in comparison to the tent on the inside and the small view inside is definitely odd looking just being black. I think improving the shape would work. What I had in mind was something like this, EXAMPLE, as I feel it works better with the layout of the tent (at least from the inside perspective). I also think that the black could be replaced with a darker color of the tent, so that a character could still appear from the tent (like if they're peeking through it wouldn't look odd). It gives more range to possibilities.

 

Two, this thing is pretty simple. I'd suggest simply making the lines to the text from the characters straight. Just using the line tool to make them straighter would in my opinion look more aesthetically appealing. Of course, if there is a long stretch for a line then it might be better to have it curved like how you've been doing but I still feel like the straighter lines might look better. 

 

Three, this one is definitely something I would consider waiting to do in comparison to the other things I suggested. Although it's still too early to tell, I'm definitely hoping for some context to the character's personalities. Whether it be through the comics themselves (of them showing off their personalities through their actions), or through a character sheet, I definitely would appreciate something of similar accord. It's something that is almost always positive as it brings a person to a sense of familiarity and it often times makes the jokes or situations more funny/interesting. Think of it like Bugs Bunny, half the stuff he says wouldn't work with just any character. It's funny because we know his character and we can imagine him saying those stuff. 

 

All in all, I would say that it's definitely an interesting series and I'm curious as to where you're going to take it. It should hopefully be an enjoyable ride and I look forward to the next comic.

 

~Soran

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Well this is a surprise. A pleasant one at that.

 

I'll go ahead and say that this series seems promising. It looks like it's a combination of a comedy with an overarching story. At least that's how I see it based off of the two comics. The setting seems interesting, especially with the specification of what dimension this story takes place in at the top of the first comic. I'm curious if different dimensions or dimensional travel will play a role in this series. I assume I'll find out in due time through the comics, however.

 

The art is simple but it's still quite nice. It brings a nostalgic feeling to me, it makes me remember the series I used to read in the past before everyone demanded photoshop filters and the like. The Razor kit is a nice choice and it definitely is full of many different props and such that you can use to benefit your series. The main tent background is also surprisingly nice as well so good work.

 

The comedy so far has been entertaining with a classic joke and I'm curious how many random things will be pulled out of no where for the characters to enjoy. That could actually be a running joke of sorts. One of the characters just randomly getting all this equipment with the rest of the characters having no idea where he/she gets it. 

 

There are some things I think could be improved graphically, but I'll try to keep them simple enough to match with the rest of the comic's style.

 

One, the outside background of the tent (when the characters are not inside of it). I honestly couldn't tell what it was just from first impressions. It seems rather small in comparison to the tent on the inside and the small view inside is definitely odd looking just being black. I think improving the shape would work. What I had in mind was something like this, EXAMPLE, as I feel it works better with the layout of the tent (at least from the inside perspective). I also think that the black could be replaced with a darker color of the tent, so that a character could still appear from the tent (like if they're peeking through it wouldn't look odd). It gives more range to possibilities.

 

Two, this thing is pretty simple. I'd suggest simply making the lines to the text from the characters straight. Just using the line tool to make them straighter would in my opinion look more aesthetically appealing. Of course, if there is a long stretch for a line then it might be better to have it curved like how you've been doing but I still feel like the straighter lines might look better. 

 

Three, this one is definitely something I would consider waiting to do in comparison to the other things I suggested. Although it's still too early to tell, I'm definitely hoping for some context to the character's personalities. Whether it be through the comics themselves (of them showing off their personalities through their actions), or through a character sheet, I definitely would appreciate something of similar accord. It's something that is almost always positive as it brings a person to a sense of familiarity and it often times makes the jokes or situations more funny/interesting. Think of it like Bugs Bunny, half the stuff he says wouldn't work with just any character. It's funny because we know his character and we can imagine him saying those stuff. 

 

All in all, I would say that it's definitely an interesting series and I'm curious as to where you're going to take it. It should hopefully be an enjoyable ride and I look forward to the next comic.

 

~Soran

Wow, thanks a lot man! I'm so glad that you took the time to write this, I really appreciate your input!

Although this account I'm using is only a year old, I used to come on BZPower a lot as a guest to read the comics section back in the old days. I've always had a nostalgia for the works of comic makers such as Nuparurocks and Galva, so I decided to make this series part of a revivalism of classic MS paint comics, so to speak. I tried doing something like this about a year ago with Chimoru, but I've found Razor to be much easier to work with. Plus it's got that old school vibe to it. 

I'll take your advice relating to the exterior of the tent, right now it looks like a deformed tepee.  :P I'll also straighten out the speech lines. As for the character development, I like to create characters on the spot and let their personalities develop as I go (this also applies to my epics and most other storytelling mediums that I've participated in). I dunno, I guess it's just my style. Hopefully the characters will begin to emerge after I produce a few more comics. 

 

EDIT: Also the dimension thing was a reference to the multi-dimensional universe that we use at the Kanohi Force. A full explanation of dimensions as well as a list of known ones can be found here:

http://kanohi-force.wikia.com/wiki/Dimension_List

Edited by Irrie: The Loremaster
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bZpOwEr

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*is impressed with the Dragon model but wonders where I am*

Did I really make that mistake?

*checks comic*

Yes, I really did. How did this happen. Where did I go wrong.

 

Lol, no problem.

 

Alright, now you've showed up. 

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