Continue The Story

[Ghidora131]

Hello, again.

 

 

In this game you continue the story that is trailed off beforehand. Example:

 

Person 1: One time a bag of potato chips went to canada, where...

 

Person 2: ...They became a rock star. Superman watched, and...

 

Person 3: ...Used his laser beams to destroy BZPower...

 

Person 4: ...Which caused Batman to start dancing. Clutch powers, however...

 

 

And it goes on and on. Any zany circumstances will work, as long as they follow up with the previous statement and leave a question at the end.

 

Here are the rules:

 

All BZP rules apply.

You may not end the story/start a new one.

No Political figures may be used in this.

And no inappropiate statements.

 

I'll start it off: Once upon a time, there was a jar of candied pickles. It was opened by...

[Nescent]

...a stout deli shop owner in San Francisco. He took a cautious whiff, and wondered how long they had been sitting on the shelf. The first whiff revealed nothing. He leaned in close, his round nose an inch away from the glistening pickles, and took a big sniff - and couldn't help but exclaim out loud:

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

Hahaha, I remember this topic. I killed it last time. Lets see if I can try and avoid repeating that! Anyway...

 

 

 

The man was about to spout forth his gleeful exclamation but he was terrifyingly interrupted as there was heavy breathing on the back of his neck...

[Toa Imrukii]

The Man turns to see a small white dog dangling from the ceiling, it exclaims a small high pitched bark.

[Nescent]

"Biscuit?" The man clambered towards the dangling dog, sending the jar of candied pickles smashing on the floor.

 

Biscuit had a habit of doing this, and it startled the man every time. He reached for the dog and gently placed him on the floor.

 

"There, there, boy. Don't go starling me like that," he muttered as he stooped to clean up the stinky mess of pickles and vinegar. It was obvious now that they were way past their due date.

 

Across the room, the first customer of the day stepped through the front door and stood at the counter. "Ahem."

[Naota Takizawa]

"I'll be with you in a minute!" Said the dog's owner as he swept away the mess of glass shards and pickles under a desk. "Now, what can I help you with?" He asked the customer...

[Bonkle]

"I need fifty pounds of raw beef," the man replied. He looked rather suspicious, with a long trenchcoat and an unkempt beard.

 

The owner knew something was up. "Erm..... I don't think I can do that, because, um...."

[Naota Takizawa]

"I work for the New California Republic and I'm not allowed to serve customers unless they are proven to be NCR citizens.* The owner replied calmly.

[Electric Light Gunhaver]

The trench-coated man obliged and showed him his ID. Being a true citizen of the New Californian Republic was no simple task, and the shop owner was taken aback. "How could such a shady man earn such a title?"

Edited February 9, 2016 by Godkarmachine O Inary

[Bonkle]

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to judge a book by its cover?' the man replied, as though he could read minds. "I wear this trenchcoat because there are some real shady people around here looking for raw beef. I'm trying to lay low and secure all of it."

 

Then he pulled a fat wad of cash out of one of his pockets.

 

"Please hurry."

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

"Raw beef eh? I have something in the back. Gimme a second."

 

The coated man waited until the shop owner returned, hauling a sizable potato sack that was ridden from frost. He lifted it up and placed it on the counter, the moderate weight causing a light thud.

 

"Ah, there we go. This has been in the back freezer for a long, long time. It's about time someone came to pick it up!"

 

Slightly confused the man in the trench coat replied, "Wait, long time? Sir, I just got here, what are you talking about?"

 

"Oh come on: obviously your here for ol' Beef!"

 

The shop owner peeled back the potato sack and and to the customer's horror, the sack contained the frozen corpse of a fat dog that had been partially decomposed and picked at by the desert wastes, and it sported a dog collar with a little silver dog tag with the word 'BEEF' written on it.

 

"Oh quit your whining Biscuit. No, you can't eat ol' Beef, now shush! I apologize for the noise, sir. Beef has been waiting around ever since my Pop ran this shop."

[Naota Takizawa]

"No, I'm not buying your decaying dogs when there are far more reputable shopkeepers selling better quality meats." The trenchcoat wearing man snatched his money from the counter and turned on his heel to leave the store.

Edited February 9, 2016 by DJ Khaled

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

"Humph. He said, he wanted 50 pounds of raw Beef, then he changes his mind--" shop keeper snaps his fingers, " --just like that! The nerve of some people..."

 

The man kept shaking his head and muttered under his breath as he wrapped up ol' Beef back securely in the sack, placed it on the ground, then began dragging the weighted sack across the floor back to the freezer. Then, someone walked through the front door while this was happening: it was a child.

Edited February 9, 2016 by Sir Iaredios

[Erasmus Graves]

The child glared up at the man with two eyes the colour of hardboiled pulp. In one hand he held a trusty, dusty and ever-so-slightly rusty .38 revolver. "Gimme all yer money afore I shoots ye", it said.

The man looked at the child. "Bit of a small-time crook, eh?" he said.

"Gimme all of yer cash!"

 "OK kid", said the man, "how 'bout some beef instead? On the house".

 The kid gave him a suspicious look. "Awright", he said at last, "a side o' beef'd go down lovely".

 "You're not from the NCR, are you?", said the man, taking out Ol' Beef and preparing him for the paper wrapping.

 "Nah. 'm from the Surfie Kingdom of Wintonia- hey, is that Ol' Beef? My mam usedta cook us that for dinner!"  

 The man nodded. Finally, someone who can take this miserable blighter off my hands, he thought as he finished the packing.

 "Ta boss".

 The child walked out of the shop.

[The Hip Historian Iaredios]

The man felt weird, seeing the kid leave with ol' Beef. The frosty bag of bones had been with him for his entire life. Almost a minute passed and then the shop keeper couldn't believe it, he knew know what he must do...

Edited February 9, 2016 by Sir Iaredios

[FrozenFlash]

He had to get the beef back. It was a primal urge welling up in him. His mind screaming at him of this task. He didn't feel right not having the bag of partially decomposed and frozen meat with him. It was like an irreplaceable childhood pet.

 

The man took his coat and rushed outside the shop but the kid was nowhere to be found.

 

"Where did that little runt go?", wondered the man as he looked down the street.

[Electric Light Gunhaver]

The man saw a nearby churro stand and strolled up to it. He always got a sudden pang for the things when under stress. He took the seat that was next to the stand and began a conversation with the stand's runner.

 

"Excuse me, sir? Have you seen a ten-year-old running down the street with a big, about fifty-pound, potato sack?"

 

"That's strange. Actually, I did. Why do you ask, do you need something from him?" the stand-runner replied. 

 

"You could say I have a slight beef with him," he said as he took a bite of a churro.

Edited February 10, 2016 by Godkarmachine O Inary

[Erasmus Graves]

 "Do you?" said the stand-runner. "I recognised him, actually".

 "You did?"

"Yep. He was in a Wintonian gaol two, three months back for a robbery beef".

[Naota Takizawa]

"And this time, he's robbed my beef!" The shopkeeper shouted. "Now, tell me where that little runt went!"

[McNugget]

"I'm sorry son," The churro selling man said "He's a Makalooktooktookian, and thems crafty little buggers, knowing Makalooktooktookians, he's probably halfway across town."

The Shopkeeper looked puzzled, "Makalooktooktook?"

Edited February 10, 2016 by Display Name Goes Here

[Naota Takizawa]

"One of the most infamous tribes. They have brutal initiation rituals & have lasted longer than the previous 300 tribes that lived here. Catching one of this is impossible, why do you think they're allowed to run rampant?"

[Toa Imrukii]

"They aren't. They just haven't been caught in the act and reprimanded as of yet, none of them have. That why we need someone to catch them, but, unfortunately in this neck of the woods, nobody has had the courage to step foward and even try to apply for such a duty."

[McNugget]

as he spoke, the shop owner then saw a ten year old at the corner with a big, lumpy sack.

He ran over and tackled the child.

 

As the sack fell, gold flew everywhere. he turned the child over, and found it was just a really small pirate.

"Arrr, why ye be tacklin' me for simply standin' at this here corner!"

Edited February 11, 2016 by Display Name Goes Here

[Naota Takizawa]

"My mistake, I thought you stole my meal for the day." The man quickly said before he eyed the gold. The coins shined in the sunlight, awakening a sense of greed. "On second thoughts, I'll be taking what you have to buy three, no, 60 meals a day!" He added before swinging his leg at the child to kick him away. 

[McNugget]

Gregory the Pirate blocked the Shopkeepers kick with his peg leg.

"Ye won't be stealin's me gold!" He screeched before drawing his sword...

[Electric Light Gunhaver]

The man quickly reacted and attempted to throw his fist into the pirate's face. Gregory dodged the punch with what little depth perception he had, and slashed at the shopkeeper. The man was cut down his forearm. He the shopkeeper grasped the bag on the ground and swung it into Gregory's head, knocking him out cold. 

 

The man leered over his handiwork, fearing the future. He took the bag of gold and booked it.

[Naota Takizawa]

*Now, where can I hide in this place?* The bearded man thought as he saw a clothes shop. *Yes! I can change my outfit & slip into a crowded place to escape!*

Edited February 12, 2016 by DJ Khaled

[Erasmus Graves]

"Not so fast, bucko".

The words were colder than a surfie after a dip in the Atlantic. The man looked up. A member of Wintonia's secret police (weatherbeaten face, t-shirt, Australian accent, longcoat) faced him down with a cutdown .303 rifle.

 "What've I done?" asked the shopkeeper.

 "Y'see that pirate? He's a citizen of Wintonia. We don't like it very much when foreigners start knockin our fellas around and stealin their gear".

 "C'mon man, he'd taken my Beef!"

 "Wrong. You gave it to him. We've got it on tape. Okay boys, put him in the van!"

Two WSP men came out of nowhere, tackled the man to the ground, picked him up and chucked him in the back of a panel van painted sand-yellow. The three WSP men lcoked the back door, got in the front, and drove off.

 Gregory the Pirate looked up. "What be those dogs doin' with that there shopkeeppp..."

 Sitting in the panel-van, the man thought, Well, this could've been worse.

 Oddly, he couldn't think just how it could have been.

[Naota Takizawa]

"Now, try & keep yourself safe okay? Don't hang around in empty areas, learn self defense & that sword of yours will come in handy, keep practicing any sword fighting techniques you know." Said the Wintonian officer as he left Greg alone. He crossed the street & walked along the sidewalk until...

[Ghidora131]

He bumped straight into John Lennon. But, being dead and decaying, he instantly fell apart at the officer's feet.

 

Weird. He stepped over the pile of dust and walked up to the stop sign...

[Naota Takizawa]

*Who graffitied this stop sign?* The officer took out a magnifying glass & examined the scrawl up close. It read "Vinnie"

[Erasmus Graves]

Vinnie. The officer hummed to himself. Who could that be? It had a sort of... Mafioso ring about it - the sort of name a fellow who sits around in armchairs speaking like Marlon Brando and doing deals with the darkside has - while all his mates and acquaintances call him "Uncle". The officer had run into a few of those guys in his time. He gave the sign a wipe with his special Fingerprintpickerupper^TM swab and looked at it...

Edited February 13, 2016 by Erasmus Graves

[Naota Takizawa]

Nothing. All the officer had done was wipe away Vinnie's name from the sign, leaving a black smudge. At least he had a new mystery to solve. Who was Vinnie & what motivated him to graffiti a stop sign? "Excuse me." He said politely as he tapped a passerby's shoulder.

[Bonkle]

"Oi mate, what the chiropractor do you want?!" The pedestrian shouted.

 

He had clearly been caught off guard, and was hiding something in one of his pockets.

 

The officer narrowed his eyes and reached for...

[Naota Takizawa]

A razor. He whipped it out in an instant, leaving the pedestrian in hysterics. "What are you going to do with that, shave my beard?" The laughing man said. "Don't laugh, I need to ask you if you had seen anyone graffiti this stop sign behind me." Replied the officer with a frown.

[Erasmus Graves]

"Yeah. Um. No. I've seen nothing up here".

The officer slapped him. "Don't lie to me!" he shouted.

"What?!" shrieked the pedestrian.

"I know you're lyin! I can tell!"

"How?"

 The officer grinned. "Simple", he said. "You begin with a yeah - what kind of guy starts off with a yeah and ends with a seen nothing? - then, you continue to an um - typical evasive action, takin' the h=r9³ into account, then a No - straightforwards but not enough, counting the Pynchonian postmodern paranoid paragraph theory into account - and then the I've seen nothing here. Highly suspicious, if you're askin me. They way you worded it, with that I've seen nothing rather than I haven't seen anything and according the parabola of a flying didgeridoo jumping on the back of a Mason & Dixon line expedition being knocked over with a flying first edition of Cloudstreet while jamming with a little dirt music touched with Bob Marley beats times ten to the power of sixty-nine - YOU'RE LYING". The officer drew his cutdown .303 rifle. "Hands up, you're coming with me- oh."

 The dense complexity of his absolutely 100% easy to follow explanation on ascertaining truth and lies had caused the pedestrian to keel over from having his brain overworked.

 The officer scratched his head. "Well, I'm devilled with eggs if I don't know why he's playin unconscious. Shifty little fellers, these pedestrians. Can't trust any of 'em".

 He took out the fellow's wallet for idea and saw the name Vinnie on the driver's license.

"Now why would a pedestrian have a driver's license?", he wondered...

Edited February 14, 2016 by Erasmus Graves

[Electric Light Gunhaver]

The officer was immediately reported for incompetence and his badge was taken away. The pedestrian, now know as Vinnie Vinchenzo, woke up in the middle of the street at midnight. The smell of the streets at night was horrendous and would make even the most stoic of people gag.

 

Now walletless, he had to start anew.

[Naota Takizawa]

*Guess it's back to my roots for me.* ghostly images of Vinchezo's past flashed before his eyes. The thuds of boxing gloves & an amplified roar of a crowd echoed in his ears before a gunshot made him come back of reality. *I was once an infamous sniper. Now I'll have to go back to my old job. If I can.*

[Erasmus Graves]

A rifle cracked in the distance, so far, far away.

Pain shot up Vinnie's knees.

It took nearly five seconds for him to realise that he was kneeling on the pavement, and there happened to be a rather nasty hole in his chest. He managed an "oh bu-" before he dropped dead. famous no infamous sniper killed by a sniper deadbeat sniper how does that work?... was his final, fleeting thought.

 

From a rooftop two block away, a bag of potato chips named Kenny ejected a shell from his .308 rifle. Another less contender for my position as CEO of D.O.O.M, he thought as he got up. He spared a five-second silence in memory of Vinnie before leaving, a line of poetry running through his head:

One day a bag of potato chips went off to destroy the world...

[Naota Takizawa]

The gunshot caused a massive panic as civilians were screaming & trying to flee the crime scene in the hopes of not becoming the next victim. *My work is done.* the sentient bag of potato chips packed up his rifle & climbed out of a window onto the stairs set up for a quick escape...