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How Irrie lost his proto


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5 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Irrie

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Posted Feb 13 2016 - 12:38 PM

This is a silly little story that I made because I didn't have anything to do this morning.
 
 
***
 
 
Irrie stood inside of the great judgement hall of the BZ-Nui coliseum. Seated next to him was Ghidora, his lawyer. On the opposite side of the room were twelve disgruntled members who served as the jury. In front of him was a large desk, where the judge, Windrider, sat. Across from them was the prosecutor, Banana Gunz. 
 
“Let the trial for BZPower member Irrie begin,” said Petewa, the bailiff. “Please read your opening statements.” 
 
“Your honor,” said Banana Gunz, “it was on the night of February 10th 2016 that the event occurred. In the topic titled KFTV, the defendant, attempting to symbolize the ‘roasting’ of another member, linked to a video that contained a copious amount of profanity that violated site rules. This is undeniable evidence, and he must be punished accordingly.” 
 
“OBJECTION!” shouted Ghidora. “Your honor, the defendant never posted such a message.”
 
“OBJECTION!” said Banana Gunz. “Yes he did. It clearly remains in the KFTV topic.”
 
“OBJECTION! He never linked to any video in his post.”
 
“That’s because I removed the link myself,” said Windrider. 
 
“OBJECTION!” retaliated Ghidora.
 
“You can’t object me, I’m not part of the prosecution.”
 
“OBJECTION!”
 
“Please stop.”
 
“OBJECTION!”
 
 A migraine-inducing hour passed by before they finally finished the opening statements. By this time, both the attorneys had almost lost their voices from shouting so much. 
 
“I call witness Evil Jaga Genius to the stand,” croaked Ghidora. 
 
The large scorpion promptly crawled to the designated speaking area. 
 
“Evil Jaga Genius, is it true that it was your post that eventually lead to Irrie posting the link to the video in question?” he rasped. 
 
“Yeah, I believe so.”
 
“Then could we say that it was you who is responsible for Irrie’s post?”
 
“N...no, that’s not how it works.”
 
“Had you never posted that in the KFTV topic, that would have never prompted Irrie to post the link.”
 
“OBJECTION!” said Banana Gunz. “That’s hearsay!” 
 
“OBJECTION! You’re hearsay!”
 
“I call The 1st Shadow to the stand!”
 
“Wait a minute, I never got to call somebody to the stand!” 
 
“Well you’re just a bad cookie.”
 
Evil Jaga Genius then departed and was replaced by T1S.
 
“The 1st Shadow, is it true that you are the OP of the KFTV topic?” asked Ghidora. 
 
“This is correct,” he replied.
 
“In that case, you are the true perpetrator of the crime! Had you never created the topic, Irrie would have never posted the link to the profane video.”
 
“Ghidora, please stop,” said T1S.  
 
“OBJECTION!” said Banana Gunz. “The real perpetrator of the crime is Dimensioneer! If he never created BZPower in the first place, then Shadow would never had made the KFTV topic, then Evil Jaga Genius would have never posted the post that Irrie eventually quoted containing the obscene video!” 
 
“OBJECTION! I’m the defense attorney, I should be the one saying that!”
 
“Well let’s see what the jury has to say about this!” it was that point that they realized that everyone else in the room had walked out on the trial. Windrider left a note, saying:
 
‘Dear BZPower members of questionable intelligence. For wasting my afternoon, I just decided to take one proto from Irrie. I cannot stand any of you. I’m going to go ask for a raise now.’ 
 
And that's how Irrie lost his proto. 

Edited by Irrie, Feb 13 2016 - 12:38 PM.

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bZpOwEr


#2 Offline evil_jaga_genius

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Posted Feb 13 2016 - 05:34 PM

This reminds me of something...

 

Aaaaaand Ghidora adds another semi-successful case to his career as a lawyer =P


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#3 Offline Irrie

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Posted Feb 13 2016 - 05:47 PM

This reminds me of something...

 

Aaaaaand Ghidora adds another semi-successful case to his career as a lawyer =P

He's building up quite the reputation around these parts, ain't he? 


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bZpOwEr


#4 Offline Ghidora131

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Posted Feb 13 2016 - 06:17 PM

This reminds me of something...

 

Aaaaaand Ghidora adds another semi-successful case to his career as a lawyer =P

I am quite the lawyer.


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#5 Offline Petewa

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Posted Feb 13 2016 - 06:26 PM

 

This reminds me of something...

 

Aaaaaand Ghidora adds another semi-successful case to his career as a lawyer =P

I am quite the lawyer.

Remember the time I lawyered into proving Irrie's plans of overtaking leedurship of the Kanohi Force?

 

That was fun.

 

To ensure this post is not entirely spam, I have to say that I like the story, just as many times as Dorathy had to clap her feet with those shiny sneakers.

 

Sadly, I forgot how many that was.


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#6 Offline Erasmus Graves

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Posted Mar 18 2016 - 10:11 PM

Man, this was gooooood. Y'know, I'm feeling kind of scuttled right now 'cause I was writing a similar BZP courtcase. Never mind. That can wait. It's different stylistically anyway.

I better hire Ghiddy as my lawyer - semi-successful is better than unsuccessful, isn't it? Isn't it guys? Right...?


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