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Tales Of The Hubertverse

Hubertverse Hubert Epic Proportions Awesome

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#1 Offline Onarax

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Posted Dec 10 2011 - 08:10 AM

THE PROLOGUE

There is a story. A story chronicling the epic tales of many heroic beings in their quests. A story that details their attempts to fight against an evil being whose power is vast. A story that tells us about how they persevered against even the great odds: betrayals, death, doubts and even themselves. A story in which they succeeded in achieving their goals, no matter how impossible it may have been. A story so epic that the gods themselves would have sobbed at the end, for they would not have wanted the story to truly become complete. A story in which you, the reader, would probably want to read right now in order to feel what many others felt as they read it.

However, this is not that story.

This is a story about a boy. A boy who had succumbed to the terrors that lurked within the shadows of the Internet, and became one of them, spreading his chaotic influence far and wide. A boy who brought kingdoms to their knees with his terrible grammar, lack of maturity and incredibly short temper. A boy who believed himself to be the greatest being that had and will exist. A boy who lead a crusade against all that opposed him, conquering their lands and destroying their identity. A boy who was unstoppable in his quest, a simple quest which he began on a whim.

Yet one single kingdom managed to halt his advance.

The website known as BZPower, the biggest BIONICLE fansite on the Internet, tamed the boy, purging him of his chaotic powers and chaining him to their forums. Using the powers given to them as a side-effect of being a BIONICLE fansite, they forced him to join them, wanting him to use his powers for the alignment known as 'Lawful Good'. It was mostly successful, and the boy ended his crusade, returning his conquered kingdoms to the former owners.

And so order returned to the Internet, allowing for normality to settle in again. The boy continued on with his life, becoming a more intelligent being that contributed more to the society of BZPower, maturing as he did so. With the influence the site had on him, his spelling and grammar improved greatly, and he was no longer the simple immature boy of the past, becoming what one would call, a 'man', or at least a teenager who had a greater understanding of the world.

Under the name of Hubert, the boy, or teenager now, began to write stories, for his imagination had become restless after being locked up for so long. Fearing that he would begin a second crusade, the powers that be subtly nudged him in the direction of the Comedies forum, where chaos reigned supreme, and could be controlled by the most skilled of writers. Upon seeing this, the teen had smiled, and began to post his stories, all of which had come straight from the chaotic confines of his mind, where the essence of his imagination was locked up. However, none of his stories managed to become successful, and they began to fall into the void that all terrible stories existed in.

But Hubert was not one to give up when confronted with failure. He wrote more stories, adding chapters after chapters in his attempt to make his mark on the forum. During this process he even made friends, or at least mutually beneficial partnerships with others, hoping for people to take notice of him. Yet when they did, he began to lose interest in them, and updates began to slow down as he tried to break free of his laziness.

So when he was unable to, he left his stories lying there, watching them spiral into the abyss with gloomy eyes. With one of his favourite hobbies gone, the teen decided to settle down and merely read the stories of others.

As the teen continued to read the stories of others though, there was a longing within him to write more stories. He tried to resist the call, but it was too strong. So with a dusty keyboard and a mind filled with the chaos and terrors of the Internet, Hubert began to type the very words you see here on this screen. He typed and typed, ideas flowing into his fingers as he crafted a tale from mere words. His methods were rather strange as well. During the time when he was not writing, the teen had absorbed many different and new ideas, hoping to one day use them. With the chance to write a story again, he got to work applying these ideas, and smiled when he realised what exactly he could do.

Hubert was going to make himself the antagonist of his tale.

With a laugh, he continued typing his story, hoping for it to have over nine thousand words and over nine thousand readers. He knew this was merely wishful thinking, but he had a massive ego, which could be easily shown in his rather insane methods of doing things. So he typed and typed, weaving a tale of futile resistance against the god of the story, himself, the being who controlled all within his imagination.

The denizens of Spherus Magna would once again be dragged into the mind of a somewhat crazy guy, forced to go along with his machinations.

And as the prologue of his story came to a close, the thirteen year old behind his computer monitor chuckled, leaning back as he said the words that would officially begin the tale.

"I love being a writer."


Edited by Hubert: Crimson Lord, Dec 18 2011 - 02:59 AM.

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#2 Offline Onarax

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Posted Dec 18 2011 - 03:33 AM

THE FIRST CHAPTER

"...And in other news, several Matoran have formed a new religion dedicated to the worship of cheesebur-"

Hydraxon sighed as he switched off the television. Ever since the 'Industrial 270 Degree Turn', people had been trying to capitalise on all of the new inventions that had been created during the time, such as the television, leading to the Spherus Magnan/Magnian Television Networks overflowing with useless advertisments for products that did not work and terrible shows that made absolutely no sense. However, the former jail guard rather enjoyed some of the shows present, like that sitcom that had aired several years before.The news programs were terrible as well. Toa made terrible hosts. Every single day at both 6 AM and 6 PM people always expected a problem at the TV-stations, for it seemed as if all the hosts argued with each other about every single thing they reported, like if worshipping cheeseburgers was blasphemy or not, or whether or not one of the star players of the New Atero Yangs had been regularly drinking liquid sugar before games. Even normally mild Toa would argue with each other when hosting the programs! Several scientists had even written theses on this, theorising that the environment of TV-stations modified brain activity, leading to arguments.However, despite the fact that television is rather interesting, which is a fact all you readers can agree on (even if you all hate each other), the focus of our story is not on television. Yes readers, we are not focusing on television, so stop crying. Instead, our story, which is a rather good story if I say so myself, focuses on myself, which you readers should already know, unless you haven't read the prologue, which means that you should read it right now. But I believe that I should stop talking about unnecessary things, and move the spotlight to the beings I have designated as cosmic chewtoys our protagonists."Oi!" shouted Hydraxon from his place on the couch, addressing his roommate, who was located in one of the three bedrooms in the apartment. "Are you angsting again?"As you can see, our protagonist, Hydraxon, had been sitting on the couch watching the news until the beginning of this chapter, where he had decided that he did not want to watch television because of the quality of the shows on it. We have also been introduced to the fact that our favourite jailer lives with the Toa who may or may not have forced all later Toa Teams to have a Red Ranger Toa of Fire in charge instead. Of course if you have followed the story serials and such, you will know who I am talking about, or writing, seeing that I am technically not physically opening my mouth."No!" the aforementioned Toa, Lesovikk shouted back. "I am definitely not angsting about the fact that my Toa Team all died because I hesitated at a crucial moment against some Zyglak, or how I was unable to protect all my Matoran friends from being sent to Karzahni, or even how an entire fortress of Toa except for one was wiped out by Frostelus because my Toa Team died fighting Zyglak."There was silence for several seconds, before Lesovikk spoke again."...Yes, I'm angsting."Hydraxon smiled."Well at least you've gotten that off your back. Now get out of the room, we need to get to work soon.""What about breakfast?" the Air Toa asked, exiting his room.There was another silent pause as Hydraxon tried to think of something to say."...I think we've ran out of cereal. Come on then, we'll have to eat out. Work only starts in three hours."Approximately thrity-five point six two one minutes later..."I love the smell of MataMuffins in the morning," said Hydraxon cheerfully as he stood in the queue.Despite the fact that it was rather early in the morning, there were many people lined up at the counter, hoping to stimulate their tastebuds with the magnificent MataMuffins of the fast food restaurant franchise. There was nobody in the restaurant who didn't want to eat a MataMuffin, for it would heresy to not eat a MataMuffin for breakfast.Well, nobody except for one guy, who was technically not committing heresy because:
    [*]He was not a native of Spherus Magna or the Matoran Universe.[*]He was fully organic.[*]He wore an awesome suit.[*]He wasn't even technically alive.[/list]However, we are not actually going to focus on this 'guy' just yet, for we must remember that Hydraxon was buying the heavenly foodstuff known as MataMuffins."So what are we having today?" asked Lesovikk as his roommate sat down at the table he had taken over. "Pancakes?""Of course not!" snapped the jailer. "Why would we eat something as inferior as pancakes? Today we're having MATAMUFFINS!"There was another silent pause, which meant that this may or may not become a running gag in the future."What about that organic being over there?" asked Lesovikk, gesturing to the guy we had mentioned eleven lines ago. "He's eating pancakes."Every single being in the restaurant except for Lesovikk and the aforementioned 'guy' gasped in horror, before standing up and taking out their weapons. All of them began to slowly walk towards the guy, and, no matter if they were Zyglak or Frostelus or Steltian, began to chant in union as they surrounded the table the guy was eating at."HERESY!" they roared in unison."BLASPHEMY!""MADNESS!"Throughout the chanting, the guy, who was wearing a suit, had been ignoring the people around him, concentrating on finishing his delicious meal of pancakes. But when he heard the word 'madness', his ears perked, and he looked up, a smirk present on his face."Madness?" he whispered, standing up. "THIS! IS! SPARTA!"With those words, he cried havoc (without actually saying the word 'havoc') and let slip the dogs of war, starting a brawl that interrupted the early morning silence.And from his place behind his computer monitor, the writer of this story smiled, mentally patting himself on the back with the his successful attempt at quoting William Shakespeare.
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#3 Offline ManiacToaLaco

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Posted Dec 18 2011 - 05:52 PM

A new story you say? Hmm, very intelligently written so far, although not much has happened (considering it's the first two chapters, that's OK) and the prologue seemed a bit irrelevent (it's a prologue, so I can hardly blame you with that)I was also not aware that you ended kingdoms all by yourself. That's a skill I can hardly do up with. The best I can do is make toast.And MataMuffins must be pretty good, and I would dearly love to read that story you said existed. I want those feelings!

"BLASPHEMY!""MADNESS!"

They should've known better than to have to those words together...

"Madness?" he whispered, standing up. "THIS! IS! SPARTA!"With those words, he cried havoc (without actually saying the word 'havoc') and let slip the dogs of war, starting a brawl that interrupted the early morning silence.

HeheheheheheLet's see where this bad boy goes, shall we?MTL

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#4 Offline Onarax

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Posted Dec 18 2011 - 08:51 PM

The prologue may seem irrelevant, but it tells you the main part of the plot.I'm the antagonist.Anyway, I thank you for your comments. The next chapter should be up once I get to writing it.
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#5 Offline ManiacToaLaco

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Posted Dec 18 2011 - 11:00 PM

The prologue may seem irrelevant, but it tells you the main part of the plot.I'm the antagonist.Anyway, I thank you for your comments. The next chapter should be up once I get to writing it.

Well, that has certainly made things alot more interestin-YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE MATAMUFFINS!You good sir, have yourself a reader.MTL

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#6 Offline JL Zehvor

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Posted Dec 19 2011 - 07:29 AM

Please describe the taste of MataMuffins.

"Madness?" he whispered, standing up. "THIS! IS! SPARTA!"

Yes, yes it is.I be forrowing dis.And that was... a really.. Weird prologue. I really didn't understand it. You conquered sites?That is a story I would like told :D

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  (╯◕_◕)╯fite me in halo ill rekt u

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#7 Offline Onarax

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Posted Dec 19 2011 - 07:50 AM

Of course I conquered sites. Metaphorically of course. I spread my immaturity and terrible grammar throughout the Internet before coming here.But anyway, I suppose a MataMuffin tastes like a McMuffin, except with more heavenly feelings injected into them.Might get the chapter up tomorrow, but that depends on how long it takes for me to type it up.
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#8 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Dec 19 2011 - 10:46 AM

He wasn't even technically alive.

That's a pretty good excuse to use in court.

However, we are not actually going to focus on this 'guy' just yet, for we must remember that Hydraxon was buying the heavenly foodstuff known as MataMuffins.

Sounds like diet food.

With those words, he cried havoc (without actually saying the word 'havoc') and let slip the dogs of war, starting a brawl that interrupted the early morning silence.

So....he cried " "?Good chappy. I like this comedy so far.-MT

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#9 Offline fishers64

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Posted Apr 15 2012 - 10:31 PM

Okay, so I liked the prologue for its fundamental absurdity...the intro with the "top of the world" story idea. But seriously, by telling us that you're the antagonist, you've busted a potential suprise of the story. It almost would have been nice if you hadn't blown it so soon - but it's your choice. Also, the section on the TV - it might have been more funny if you had actually shown one of the failure-league TV shows or advertisements in more detail. I guess that's still an option for a future chapter, if you like. (Although, given the latter comments, such a scene would have to be brief. And I did like those comments - sarcasm for the win.)The rest of the story I have nothing to complain about, merely noting that it was sarcastically funny and witty. The 'dogs of war' and the 'this is sparta!' lines work quite well (although the latter is overused IMO). Shakspeare wins. But you asked for feedback to try to get you up to the next chapter, so I'll try to give that. I think revealing that you're writing with you as the antagonist is hurting you in that regard, but that's just a lame theory that has stuck in my head. That aside:1. You mention that Lesovikk has "taken over" a table in the dining scene. Who has he taken it over from?2. The mysterious character in the dining scene has just elicted a big brawl. Can he slip out in the confusion? What is Lesovikk's and Hydraxon's position on the brawl? You've hinted that Lesovikk has an interest in pancakes, while Hydraxon is againest that. Is Lesovikk going to defend the newcomer?3. Does Hubert like MataMuffins or pancakes? 4. Work starts in 3 hours. What do they do there? What about between that and brakfast? Do they have an interest in Mr. Mysterious?5. What does Mr. Mysterious' awesome suit look like?Also, given the nature of the story, you can make jokes about your writer's block. :) Hope what I said helped, and this a great comedy, despite its slightly unusual style. :)
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#10 Offline Athmos

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Posted Apr 18 2012 - 12:38 PM

Pretty funny. I'll be following this one, just let me finish my MataMuffin....
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#11 Offline Onarax

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Posted Apr 21 2012 - 02:44 AM

Don't expect it soon. Going to start writing it now. I've overcome my writer's block, so all I need now is the text.
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#12 Offline Athmos

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Posted Apr 21 2012 - 08:48 AM

I've learned to expect nothing. Keeps one from being disappointed.
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