Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Photo

Seven Lives Review

Review Topic

  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

Lord Kini Hawkeye
  • Members
  • Fluidic Master Defeated

  • 3,513 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 11 2011 - 01:05 AM

*Brushes off Snow*Ah, well, if it isn't a Kini with a story.Now it's been a while since i wrote the first chapter here so bear with me. I don't really intend to go back and change stuff too much but the writing quality should increase as more chapters are added. If you notice anything out of line with the content of an earlier chapter (i've already had to change some things in that respect) please tell me, as this is a work started in April of last year and not looked at again until literally a week ago.Table of ContentsChapter OneChapter TwoCharactersIntroduced characters will have a slight Bio posted here when I get around to it. If a character is introduced and does not appear with a profile, that will most likely mean that the character does not have an important role in the story asides the chapter(s) he or she appears in.Main CharactersSkieros (Coming soon)Known WorldRandom information will be stowed here if i deem it necessary to gain the full experience, or if enough reader interest is given.AcknowledgementsAkaku:Master of Flight: For himself and AquaRemember people, reviews are welcome =)Oh, and please note. There are references to real world events/memes/generalizations and a great many inside jokes. So please take them with some good humor - especially if you recognise them.

Edited by Lord Kini Hawkeye, Dec 18 2011 - 01:58 PM.

  • 0

The worlds have now learned

Of the worst yet to come

On the brink of an end, a Boy learns to crawl

{/BZPRPG Profiles\}  :.: {/COMIC: Eljay: The Becoming\} :.: {/EPIC: Danger Close\} :.: {/EPIC: Wings\}

[There is Invisible Text here]
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

{/Seven Lives, Two Faces\}

Don't pass up this chance, oh go tear down the walls

No gods will watching, no one cares enough at all

These worlds need now an ending, as they did at the start

But I'll keep on pretending, I won't

Go...


#2 Offline Eljay: Toa of Mangosteen

Eljay: Toa of Mangosteen
  • Members
  • Unintentional Instigator

  • 3,655 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 12 2011 - 04:06 AM

A very nice epic you have here, Kini! Reading the first chapter was a joy, and I immediately noticed the references to RvB and Canada :P Loved the characterization of Skieros. I'm eager to get into his head a little more and find out more about his past. Love the pacing so far, and I eagerly await the next chapter :)Posted Image
  • 0

Posted Image

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Three Virtues | Eljay: The Becoming | BioCraft: Chronicles

Go give a read to an amazing epic, Seven Lives... Two Faces, written by Kini Hawkeye!


#3 Offline Kahi

Kahi
  • Members
  • Pahrak-Kal Melted

  • 4,543 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 14 2011 - 09:40 PM

I have to admit: when I first saw "Ceneta", the first thing I thought of was "Canada". =PI haven't really read an epic in this forum recently, but that chapter made me see what I was missing out on. I loved the way you described the elemental powers as well as how Skieros used them (too lazy to put the accent on the o, dangit). And of course, the "of all time" line was a good herald back to Agent Wash.I like the medieval theme you've given it as well. Its a nice mix, balancing the science-fiction of biomechanical beings with the snow and inns and drunken villagers of fantasy lore. Honestly, it reminded me a bit of Skyrim the way you described it. That balance was something BIONICLE used to have that it has pretty much forgotten nowadays.Anyhow, the setup seems quite good, and I'm looking forward to see where you take it. I'll be checking back momentarily.
  • 0

Posted Image


#4 Offline Rarity

Rarity
  • Banned Members
  • Language of the Past

  • 8,133 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 15 2011 - 02:37 AM

I thought it was pretty good.The dialogue was kinda odd, but I'm not sure why.Skerry seems like a j word though. :PGood epic.
  • 0

#5 Offline Zahaki

Zahaki
  • Members
  • Emerging Flying Force

  • 2,219 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 15 2011 - 07:00 PM

Great start to a Epic if I've ever seen one.As the others said, I do see the reference of Ceneta with Canada.The Dialog reminds me of Oblivion, or even Skyrim conversations, that could be just me.Nice sneak in with the ‘eh’ to I might add xp--All in all, Great first Chapter. I can’t wait to read more!Posted Image
  • 0

zahakibanner14v1.png
 

Art
:Antique Bionicle Cards:

 

Signature Under-construction.


#6 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

Lord Kini Hawkeye
  • Members
  • Fluidic Master Defeated

  • 3,513 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 18 2011 - 01:50 PM

A very nice epic you have here, Kini! Reading the first chapter was a joy, and I immediately noticed the references to RvB and Canada :P Loved the characterization of Skieros. I'm eager to get into his head a little more and find out more about his past. Love the pacing so far, and I eagerly await the next chapter :)Posted Image

Danke, Eljay. Next chappy should be up... in minutes :D. Thanks for enjoying it though, as i said it's a really old chapter, xD.

I have to admit: when I first saw "Ceneta", the first thing I thought of was "Canada". =PI haven't really read an epic in this forum recently, but that chapter made me see what I was missing out on. I loved the way you described the elemental powers as well as how Skieros used them (too lazy to put the accent on the o, dangit). And of course, the "of all time" line was a good herald back to Agent Wash.I like the medieval theme you've given it as well. Its a nice mix, balancing the science-fiction of biomechanical beings with the snow and inns and drunken villagers of fantasy lore. Honestly, it reminded me a bit of Skyrim the way you described it. That balance was something BIONICLE used to have that it has pretty much forgotten nowadays.Anyhow, the setup seems quite good, and I'm looking forward to see where you take it. I'll be checking back momentarily.

Thanks, means a lot to hear that I've showed you a bit of what you're missing out on, lol. And don't worry, i'm too lazy to put the Accent out on anything but Chapters =PPart of the theme is due to my undying love for the MNOG, and the way that everything worked. For example, i like to return to the usual Fantasy when i write Bionicle stories, and so the Elemental Powers are described as being similar to "Magic" abilities. The only thing I won't do is make the characters say something for their powers to work :PAnd looking back, it is similar to Skyrim in a lot of ways. However I will say that I don't even remember Skyrim being announced at the time I wrote this originally, so and similarities are purely coincidental. =P

I thought it was pretty good.The dialogue was kinda odd, but I'm not sure why.Skerry seems like a j word though. :PGood epic.

Dialogue would've ben kidna odd because, as stated, it's an older chapter (like, a good 6-8 months old) so yeah.Skieros is a word in another language, but i'm not going to say. Also No you.Danke

Great start to a Epic if I've ever seen one.As the others said, I do see the reference of Ceneta with Canada.The Dialog reminds me of Oblivion, or even Skyrim conversations, that could be just me.Nice sneak in with the ‘eh’ to I might add xp--All in all, Great first Chapter. I can’t wait to read more!Posted Image

I suppose the Dialogue, especially with the guard, was supposed to simulate that (I really don't want to be here but it's a good job so why am I talking to you) feel that the Oblivion and even Skyrim Guards/People had :POh yeah Eh? 'Course i'll throw in Eh, Eh?Lol, thanks ZahakiNew Chapter should be up in a few minutes.

  • 0

The worlds have now learned

Of the worst yet to come

On the brink of an end, a Boy learns to crawl

{/BZPRPG Profiles\}  :.: {/COMIC: Eljay: The Becoming\} :.: {/EPIC: Danger Close\} :.: {/EPIC: Wings\}

[There is Invisible Text here]
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

{/Seven Lives, Two Faces\}

Don't pass up this chance, oh go tear down the walls

No gods will watching, no one cares enough at all

These worlds need now an ending, as they did at the start

But I'll keep on pretending, I won't

Go...


#7 Offline Eljay: Toa of Mangosteen

Eljay: Toa of Mangosteen
  • Members
  • Unintentional Instigator

  • 3,655 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 18 2011 - 05:28 PM

Filler or no filler, the next chapter was quite nice! The end was pretty nerve rackin' with those riders on the mountain. I'm foreseeing a pretty awesome fight. They sorta reminded me of Bone Hunters. Only thing I noticed was here

` The newcomer, a blue armour

It switched to a new paragraph, and had a little thingymerbob up there, not to mention armor was misspelled =P But either way, a wonderful chapter regardless!Posted Image

  • 0

Posted Image

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Three Virtues | Eljay: The Becoming | BioCraft: Chronicles

Go give a read to an amazing epic, Seven Lives... Two Faces, written by Kini Hawkeye!


#8 Offline Lord Kini Hawkeye

Lord Kini Hawkeye
  • Members
  • Fluidic Master Defeated

  • 3,513 posts
  •  

Posted Dec 25 2011 - 08:19 PM

Noted, and fixed.Danke LJ
  • 0

The worlds have now learned

Of the worst yet to come

On the brink of an end, a Boy learns to crawl

{/BZPRPG Profiles\}  :.: {/COMIC: Eljay: The Becoming\} :.: {/EPIC: Danger Close\} :.: {/EPIC: Wings\}

[There is Invisible Text here]
Cause I can't find a banner ;_;

{/Seven Lives, Two Faces\}

Don't pass up this chance, oh go tear down the walls

No gods will watching, no one cares enough at all

These worlds need now an ending, as they did at the start

But I'll keep on pretending, I won't

Go...





0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users