Posted Dec 11 2011 - 09:11 PM
Happy Birthday 2 MeHappy Birthday Hero!Chapter 1 – Why Are We Here?iBrow Comedy ProductionsSome Jail Cell Somewhere in Some PlaceiBrow bolted up into a sitting position, slamming back down onto the pillow when his face collided with a valve that should not have been there.Where am I? He thought. Last thing I remember is that we were about to chow down on some cake... oh, the lies!Shaking his head sadly, he sat up (avoiding the valve, which after his collision with it had begun to emit steam) and stood to his feet. A quick glance around the room told him where he was: barebones gray walls, bars over the window, and a Lambda symbol on the door sufficed. He was in jail.Naturally, this wasn’t going to stop him.Naturally, this isn’t going to stop ME. iBrow thought, grabbing a white gun from the bedside table. Pointing it at the wall, he clicked the right trigger and an orange portal appeared, revealing a hallway that appeared to be built out of LEGO bricks.“Curious.” He said to himself. “Curious indeed....”He stepped out into the hall, only to leap back inside his room when a flurry of bullets flew across his nose. Poking an eye out, he saw a Turret standing on top of a white platform halfway up the hall.“I’m different.” It called.“Yeah... right.” He muttered. “Different my mask, you oaf.”He fired a blue portal underneath the Turret, causing it to pop out in front of him and beginning firing along the wall before exploding.“Strange.”With that, he activated his Kanohi Volitak and began to make his way to the exit, remembering where he’d been before he woke up in a jail cell.Flashback [Insert Flash of White Here]iBrow chuckled as Hero’s Fedora Hat fell into the ice cream, which was mostly melted. Hero muttered furiously for a few seconds before slowly pulling it- soaking wet and dripping ice cream- from the bowl.“Darn it. My Uncharted themed birthday party is ruined!” Hero pouted.“Uncharted?” iBrow asked, glancing over to Ingeitum, who was wearing a paper boat hat and had a sniper rifle in his hands. “I thought this was....”“Of course it’s Uncharted, numb nuts!” Hero snorted. “What else would it be?!”“Team Fortress 2.” iBrow muttered under his breath.End Flashback [Insert Flash of White Here]iBrow frowned. That part of the party had sucked.Some Other Jail CellHero yawned as he crawled out of his bed, somehow avoiding the valve in his way and failing to notice the lambda symbol on his door as he took in the room.“What a lovely place.” He yawned. “A little drab though, to be admitted. You’d think Ingeitum and iBrow could’ve found a better place to hang while we sleep off our (milk) hangovers.”Glancing around, he frowned.“Where are iBrow and Ingeitum?” he questioned. “This isn’t going to be like the Hangover, is it? Where I’m the one of the roof for like four hours?”Then he noticed the Gravity Gun on his bedside table.“Sweet!” he grinned. “A Gravity Gun! I don’t know how I know that, but I know that I know that. And the fact that I know that and that I know that I know that makes me awesome. Which of course I have known for some time.”He then proceeded to yank open his door with the Gravity Gun in hand and marched into the hallway, only to have some slimy thing with weird legs leap onto his face.“Argh! Horror movie! Horror game! Horror comedy!” he screamed, flailing around. “Must-get-crowbar-yes!”Grabbing the crowbar from next to his bed with his free hand, Hero slammed the creature off with it. When he was able to see again, he made a face and groaned.“Disgusting!” he groaned. “I hate Headcrabs!”He then proceeded to use the Gravity Gun to fling it out the window, where it would land on the poor Matoran Jaller’s head. But that’s not important. What is important is that Hero was now having a flashback of his own to his birthday party.Flashback [Insert Flash of Brown Here]Hero chuckled as he fixed his Fedora, while grabbing a can of root beer. As he did so, he accidentally knocked over iBrow’s winter hat (which his friend liked to call “Napper’s Respite” for whatever reason) into the ice cream. “Darn it Hero!” iBrow muttered, walking over with a gas mask on and a flamethrower in his hands. “Now I’m gonna have to wear the stupid Seal Mask.”Hero shrugged as iBrow pulled out a paper Seal Mask and slapped it on top of the gas mask, while incinerating the entire picnic table.“All better.” iBrow said happily (or at least, Hero thought he sounded happy). “I haven’t gotten to use my Backburner in weeks!”“Hey iBrow, can you set my arrow on fire?” Ingeitum questioned, a Bow and Arrow in his hands. “I’m trying to snipe Nathan over there.”“Nathan?” Hero questioned. “As in Nathan Drake?”“Uh....” Ingeitum trailed off. “Um... no?”iBrow glanced at him, and Ingeitum grinned sheepishly.“Okay, whatever.” Hero waved his hands. “If it’s not Nathan Drake, then it’s fine. By the way guys- thanks for the Uncharted themed party.”Turning around, Hero of course didn’t notice iBrow and Ingeitum questioning each other on how Hero hadn’t noticed the Team Fortress 2 theme. He also didn’t hear the two of them questioning why he hadn’t realized it WAS Nathan Drake that Ingeitum was sniping.End Flashback [Insert Flash of Brown Here]Yes, that was a wonderful party. Especially drinking all of that (milk). Yes, a wonderful party indeed. Now to get out.A Third Jail Cell:Ingeitum groaned as he stood up, smashing the valve in front of him into several pieces that spelled the word “Classic”, for whatever reason. He grabbed his Sniper Rifle and Bow and Arrow set from the bedside table and then attempted to reach the door; however, due to a serious case of lag, he began to ##### across the room, halting for several seconds before teleporting to his next location.It was extremely annoying, to say the least.Once he made his way out of the lambda-shaped door (which took what felt like three hours), Ingeitum found himself in a hallway, and was then promptly backstabbed by an invisible Spy who taunted his corpse and then ran away, laughing.Once he’d made his way out of the jail cell again, Ingeitum (still suffering from lag, unfortunately) managed to get to the exit, sniping that Spy along the way. Once at the exit, he saw Jaller with a Headcrab sucking on his mask, and Hewkii, Kongu, and Matoro all attempting to pull it off. Nearby, Tahu was throwing back (milk) after (milk) onto a chained up and writhing Icarax, who looked as if he’d been hit by a train.Shrugging laggily, Ingeitum made his way over to a picnic table and sat down to wait for iBrow and Hero. Suddenly, he began to have his own flashback....Flashback [Insert Flash of Gray Here]But then he decided that he had too much lag at the moment to enjoy watching a memory, and so opted out.End Flashback [Insert Flash of Gray Here]So he sat down and waited, bored.To Be Continued...How was it?Chapter 2 coming on Tuesday!Happy Birthday to The BIONICLE Hero!-ibrow
Bionifight is coming.