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Tahu's Transport

TAoT reboot TN:TS

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#1 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Oct 23 2016 - 08:22 PM

The hackers didn't mess me up this time :)

 

Presenting the finalized prologue of my invention, The Adventures of Tahu...

 

Tahu's Transport Banner

 

---

Tahu’s Transport

Prologue: Motives

YEAR: 2007

 

The Toa swam, closer and closer to the hole in the ocean floor.

 

The golden mask shined brightly in his grasp, the mask knowing that its purpose was about to be fulfilled.

 

So did the Toa, swimming further and further away from his team and the Barraki warlords…he’d no need to say goodbye…

 

A blue hand punched through his thoughts and into his head, knocking the Toa away. The owner of the hand, a Toa of Water, gave Toa Mahri Matoro a cold stare as she thrusted her shield down, blocking him from continuing forward.

 

Huh? What was that?  Matoro pondered. Why is this Toa here…what is she...the mask!

 

The gold mask drifted away, falling into the hole Matoro had been approaching. Out of sight, the Ignika fell from the skies of Karda Nui into its murky swamps, where it would lay, uninterrupted, for years to come.

 

 

“You’re ruining my destiny! I have to save Mata Nui! Don’t you even care that he’s about to die? You don’t even deserve to be a T--”

 

The Toa swung her spiked mace into Matoro’s gut, knocking him out instantly. “It’s a shame you don’t care about my destiny.” She looked at her comlink, giving a thumbs-up as she rose into the mouth of the Cord...

 

Inside the Cord…

 

Axonn smiled as he looked at his mistress Helryx, who gave him the signal. “Well, what are you waiting for, Toa? Destroy this blasted cord!”

 

The Toa Mahri did just that, watching Voya Nui fall straight down, crushing the remains of Mahri Nui. Axonn smiled slightly, then unsheathed his axe and smashed it into Jaller’s back, all with his battle cry. “HERE’S AXXIE!”

 

Minutes Later…

 

Helryx cackled, hauling an unconscious Matoro on top of the five other defeated Toa Mahri. “I don’t deserve to be a Toa. What rubbish.”

 

“What rubbish,” Axonn repeated, opening the first of six stasis tubes that the Mahri would slumber in for years to come.

 

Helryx shook her head. “I don’t care that Mata Nui is dead. That was his destiny. Now it’s time to take matters into our own hands. We shall, finally, create our own destinies.”

 

YEAR: 2012

 

“But…she told you not to go…are you disobeying the orders of the empress?”

 

“I have to, Tahu. It’s been racing through my mind…they couldn’t have just disappeared without not doing their job.”

 

It was a starry night. Five years had passed since Helryx had founded the Orderly Empire, and five years had passed without any answers of the Mahri’s whereabouts. Gali, one of the most trusted members of the Toa Nuva, had grown suspicious of their disappearance, and was preparing to leave for Daxia to ask Helryx for permission to search for them...even though Helryx forbade any mention of them.

 

“Gali,” Tahu put his arm around her, chuckling. “Pohatu and Onua disappeared to play Skyrim when they were supposed to be doing their job.”

 

“I know, but…look, don’t worry about me.” Gali slipped away, walking to the edge of the balcony, turned towards the stars. “You know me well enough…or will I have to find a different—“

 

Tahu smiled. “You won’t have to—I’m always here for you, Gali…I…I wish I could go—“

 

“It’d be too obvious. And I know you want to get out of here.” Gali sighed. “I’m sorry, Tahu, but I can’t bear to lose…wait, why don’t you talk to Helryx about that? Maybe, like, a trip to Zakaz or the Southern Continent—“

 

“You and I both know that’s not what I want, Gali. No, I want to see the world, or even other worlds than this. We could expand the empire, get more resources, meet new people—and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

Gali blushed. “Neither would I, Tahu. However…that will have to wait until I get back. Save the memories for me, won’t you?” Gali walked out of the apartment, leaving Tahu alone.

 

The two would not meet again for another five years. And in that time, Gali, Tahu’s best friend and “sweetheart” was presumed dead by almost everyone.

 

 

Note that I said “almost”, not—

 

Narrator, stop spoiling the story!

 

Sorry, boss. Moving on, then…

 

YEAR: 2017

 

Ten years had passed since Helryx founded the Orderly Empire. Ten years had passed since Mata Nui had died. Five years had passed since Gali left to search for the Mahri. Five years had passed since Tahu was last happy.

 

He had enough. He wanted answers. Answers to why he couldn’t leave to find Gali. Answers to why Helryx had outlawed Nintendo consoles in the empire. Tahu wanted a way out. A way to find Gali. A way out…of the terror he was slowly realizing the empire possessed.

 

To Be Continued…

---

Four years to the day have passed since the original comedy ended, and after sequel series, spin-offs, and reboots have tanked, I've finally decided to rewrite the original entirely and give it the level of polish and love I think it deserves. With filled plot holes and more focused humor, I hope this reboot will be something you all enjoy, even if I don't update it as frequently as you imagine I should (I'm quite busy xD). In re-rebooting the series, I've finally moved away from the plain "The Adventures of Tahu" name, because "Adventures" itself is obvious, general, and implies relations with Sonic games that I love to death but are actually terrible creations of our time :P. Changing the focus to Tahu himself seems so much more simplified and accurate to the premise of the entire comedy. It's not about the adventures; it's about himself and how he grows through his transport, consequences and heroes that he faces that have lasting effects on him. That is what matters. :)

~MS


Edited by MetaStriker, Nov 19 2016 - 06:45 PM.

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#2 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Oct 30 2016 - 12:47 PM

Chapter 1: Meeting

Outside Helryx’s Office…

Tahu was shaking, standing in front of that door. The entire ride down to Daxia he had tried to keep himself calm, but to no avail. Should I turn back? Is she even worth it anymore? She left me. She left all of us, and she hasn’t returned.

But I need her.

Inside Helryx’s Office…

Helryx relaxed in her chair, playing MNOLG HD. She dictated the game as well as she dictated the Orderly Empire--that is, to say, that she was not a very good ruler. Throughout her ten years as Her Orderly Empress, Helryx was responsible for protecting the lives of the Matoran Universe after Mata Nui’s demise and after Makuta Teridax threatened to rule in the deceased Great Spirit’s stead. She was also responsible, of course, for the death of Mata Nui, silencing the Makuta Brotherhood by absorbing them and the Dark Hunters into the elite class of the empire, and massacring thousands of helpless Matoran because they didn’t matter to the plot. Helryx controlled the throne through restriction and force, yet the empire seemed to success in GDP and GNP, even though it didn’t even trade outside of itself.

Two knocks on the door. Her most trusted Toa Nuva, Tahu’s knock. And from what she could see, using her Mask of Psychometry, he had something to ask that she did not want to answer, but she could not ignore him. As she buzzed him to come in, she wondered, Should I turn back? Is she even worth it anymore? She left him. She left all of them, and she hasn’t returned.

I wonder why.

“I came to ask you some questions.” Tahu stumbled through the door, heat rising in the office. “Is this…the wrong time? I can certainly leave if you—“

“Oh, there’s no need for that at all. Sit down,” Helryx interrupted, quickly shutting her laptop and clearing her desk off. Snapping her fingers, Tahu’s heated aura was equalized by her water elements, reducing the temperature to suitable again. “What is it? Why are you stuttering? Did they finally release Half-Life 3?”

Tahu smiled, sighing. “No…I actually had some questions to ask you, if you wouldn’t mind answering them.”

“Ha!” Helryx gave a pompous, hearty chuckle, as if she held all the power in the world.

Excuse me, but I actually do.

Excuse you, but I’m speak-narrating here.

Excuse all of you, but I’m the author of this comedy. You have absolutely no power.

You’re a bad-terrible author, if anything. This is your second time-try rewriting the comedy and it still has barely any comments. Where’s your power-control if you don’t have actual audience-fans behind it?

Stop it. Just stop. You’re making us look more desperate than we already are. Let’s just get on with this wet conversation.

That was a weird-terrible reference to the original title of this chapter.

Hey!

*sigh*

“I’d tell you anything…remember that. You’re my most trusted Toa Nuva, after all, considering—“ Helryx paused, not wanting to go on. She already knew.

Tahu looked down. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about, well, partially anyway. What happened to her?”

“Who is her, exactly?” Helryx asked, knowing full well who Tahu was talking about.

“You know, empress. I require an answer…as you said you’d give.”

Helryx’s good attitude towards Tahu disappeared almost instantaneously. Well…I did tell him I’d tell him anything.

Really, why would I say that? Sounds like some cheap plot sequence to make me look like a fool.

*WINK*

How should I put this?… She cleared her throat. “Let’s just say…she disappeared, and that’s why I never let anyone out.”

“But wouldn’t you trust me to go out? I thought you trusted me the most out of all the Toa.” Tahu shuffled his feet and shrugged. He was no detective, but he could smell the rotten Gadunka.

“I do, and that’s why I’m not letting you out—you’re the glue that keeps your team together and you’re my best Toa. Think about it…if you left and never came back, the empire would be in chaos. A rebellion would sprout up from the ground!” Helryx tried to hide it, but she could not--she was rambling and panicking all at the same time. “Don’t you remember the last time someone appeared here? That is why I let no one in…or out. Understand?”

Tahu’s smile faded as he thought of the black, spiky robot terrorizing the Nuva's private meeting. “Well…I guess…”

Helryx sighed, regaining her composure. “Look. I know you’ve been sad. In fact, I’m willing to give you an upgrade if you halt your plans to get out.”

Tahu’s eyes widened. “How did you—“

“Please, Tahu. I know everything that goes on around here, and I have to find some way to control it. Look, I’ll even give you some golden armor and a tri-toned Fire Sword. Can you at least think about it?” Helryx pleaded.

Tahu looked back up at Helryx. “I suppose so,” he grumbled.

“Don’t look so down. I’d never give this chance to any other Toa—” Helryx hesitated. “You’re...my best one, remember?”

“Well—“ Tahu stuttered, unable to accept what Helryx had said. He felt offended. Trapped. And he would not stand for it any longer, except, he had to.

Helryx continued, standing up and opening the door for Tahu to leave. “Good. I’ll hear from you in five days’ time, all right?” She stuck out her hand; Tahu shook it quickly and bolted down the hallway as Helryx slammed the door shut and raced back to MNOLG HD. Unspoken tension lingered in the air. It was the last time they would ever acknowledge that they were on the same side.

To Be Continued…


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A collaborative comedy about the Toa...sort of. Read it here: 
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#3 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Nov 19 2016 - 11:14 PM

Chapter 2: Incitement

 

In the Ko-Metru Apartment Building…

 

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNUTSHACK*

 

The door opened slowly, and Tahu looked down at the old Turaga Nuju, wearing a flowery nightgown and a shower cap. “What is it?” he whispered.

 

“We’ve got to finish it. Now.”

 

“What did you—darn it, young Toa. Get in here.”

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

 

The lab was filled with several inventions, some of them including the aforementioned Mask of Immortality, several flasks of pizza protodermis, a custom-made and hacked Wii U and several blueprints for unmade inventions including an iSwatch, Project Giant Robot and the Nintendo 1DS. But, out of anything Nuju had built, his best work had been the Transport, a portal created with the power to teleport outside the Orderly Empire’s boundaries. The gate resembled the LEGO Dimensions portal strongly, encircled by an obsidian ring and embellished with gold, silver and platinum armor. The Transport, powered by three Toa Stones smuggled back from the island of Mata Nui and the Nui Stone itself, may not have been legal, but it was rad.

 

Rad? Really?

 

Deal with it, boss.

 

“How much do we have left to do?” asked Tahu.

 

“Just some wiring…and you need to figure out where to go.” Nuju crawled out from behind the Transport, clicking a remote. The floor beneath the machine glowed white, acknowledging Nuju’s command, and a light blue circle appeared. In its center was the image of an asteroid.

 

“There?” asked Tahu, pointing down. The image zoomed automatically, showing an overly populated, smoky city, with a large blue and white tower dominating over its skyline.

 

Nuju clicked on it, and the camera zoomed onto it. A list of known history about the planet came up. “Let’s see…Makuhero City…constraction theme gone wrong…CCBS and minifigures…oh, we can’t do that.”

 

Tahu snorted. “What? But this place is perfect! It’s blue!”

 

Nuju rolled his eyes. “You’re thinking a little too stupidly...she could be in a jungle, though.” Nuju scrolled on the remote, and the camera zoomed in on a green planet. Bota Magna.

 

“Bota…Magna…that name…” Tahu thought. “Any relation to Aqua Magna?”

 

“There might be…” Nuju mused the idea, but shrugged it off. “I’ll have to look into that. That’ll be my project once you return with Gali.”

 

If I do,” Tahu corrected. He paused, turning away from the Transport. “But what if...we just stop this all? We hide this thing so Helryx never sees it--” Tahu stuttered, “--and move on with our lives?”

 

Nuju stopped wiring and glanced at Tahu. “What? Why would you, after all the work we’ve done?”

 

Tahu was shaking. “Helryx offered me an upgrade. And she knows I want to go.”

 

Nuju froze. He walked over to a lab stool and sat down, shaking his head. “I know that. You don’t have much time. But you do know…” Nuju trailed off, his heart freezing over in sadness. “You do know...where she gets those upgrades from, young Toa?”

 

Tahu didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

 

“Well, I have a theory…one that I can prove very easily.” Nuju’s entire body was shaking, words dripping out of his mouth like a broken, leaky roof.

 

You’re kidding me. You actually think that’s a good analogy?

 

You’re kidding me. You never interrupted this much in the original comedy. You’re really going to give Transition Guy a run for his money this time around.

 

It’s okay, I don’t get paid anyway.

 

Really? He pays me!

 

WRONG.

 

Nuju continued, breathing heavily. “Haven’t you seen the dwindling number of Matoran in recent years? Well, I believe Helryx has been killing them,” Nuju gulped, “and reusing their bodies—for armor.”

 

Tahu, shocked into silence, could not find the strength to speak. He felt the room temperature drop as his determined spirit dropped. “That couldn’t be—“

 

“Think about it, young Toa. The fire in the Coliseum. Countless Matoran went up in flames, but their bodies remained and disappeared shortly after.” Nuju was visibly angry, pacing the room back and forth. “A few days later, Makuta Teridax had his Antidermis housed in a new, powerful body…built from what, exactly?”

 

Tahu's heart sank. All his pride was being taken away from him, replaced by confusion…then hatred towards Helryx. He shook his head, denying Nuju’s words even though he knew they were true. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re insane.”

 

“If anyone’s insane, Tahu, it’s Helryx. She crowned herself empress of the Orderly Empire. She’s excluded herself from the Toa Code. And on top of all that, she thinks it perfectly normal to give you the body of a deceased Matoran for extra armor. Isn’t she insane?” Nuju went over to the window and gasped. “Oh, no. She’s worse…she’s an insane tyrant.”

 

Dark Hunters and Makuta were marching down the street, towards the apartment building. Tahu gasped. “No...not this soon. She can’t have figured it all out this quickly.”

 

Nuju facepalmed. “Darn it! I forgot to mention it—they just installed cameras in the building.”

 

Tahu’s head turned slowly to face Nuju. “…and why didn’t you tell me this before, you old coot?”

 

“Don’t blame me, young Toa. My mind can be forgetful at times. Ugh—but there is no time. Well, it was lit, fam...”

No.

 

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

In Nuju’s Apartment…

 

Tahu put a small lock on the door to the lab, clicking it and throwing the key out an open window. “That should keep them out.”

 

Nuju groaned. “Do you really think so? What if they find the key?”

 

Tahu facepalmed.

 

“I have a better solution.” Nuju stood in front of the door and touched it with his Ice Pick. The door and its locks froze solid almost instantly.

 

Tahu’s eyes widened. “What…how…”

 

“You can’t handle the truth,” Nuju smirked.

 

 

What? This is so much better than that cheesy Toy Story reference!

 

 

If you interrupt this chapter one more time, Narrator, I’m changing the format to script.

 

A wall exploded, sending Tahu and Nuju flying backwards. Helryx entered through the wall, followed by The Shadowed One, Teridax, and Axonn, dragging along a handcuffed Kopaka. “Finally! I found a way to get in and kill you at the perfect time! Thanks to your friend over here…”

 

Kopaka struggled to get away from Helryx. “She’s lying! All I wanted to do was to see why there were a hundred and twenty Dark Hunters marching down the street…then I realized they were coming for you.”

 

Tahu looked at Helryx, unsheathing his swords. “You’ve lied to me, you traitor. How dare you kill off innocent Matoran. How dare you put yourself at the helm of this empire. How dare you…not let me find...Gali...”

 

Tahu had tears in his eyes, but he was willing to do anything to avenge his tears, to avenge the disappearances and deaths of his friends at the hands of Helryx. He would not hesitate.

 

Little did he know...his vehemence would be his weakness.

 

And so, thus began the adventures of Tahu.

 

To Be Continued…

---

Check out the new banner! What do you guys think! Leave your answer in the comments belowwwwww...

~MetaStriker

 

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A collaborative comedy about the Toa...sort of. Read it here: 
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#4 Offline Master Inika

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Posted Nov 20 2016 - 02:17 AM

Just stumbled upon this by chance, never heard of the original comedy, but I have to say, I'm glad I found it. This is well-written, funny, and on top of that an interesting (if fanciful) story. There's so much for me to praise in this comedy, but I personally thing its strongest aspect is the banter between the author and narrator. You're the first BZP comedy writer I've ever seen use the (overdone) "independent narrator" shtick alongside yourself as the other, and the addition of "Transition Guy" is a clever third man to observe your interactions. While I do think the plot and characterization of the main story is well done, Narrator and Author are the real gold in this story.

Good work; I'll definitely check back. :) Keep on writing.

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"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

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#5 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Jan 24 2017 - 10:09 PM

Just stumbled upon this by chance, never heard of the original comedy, but I have to say, I'm glad I found it. This is well-written, funny, and on top of that an interesting (if fanciful) story. There's so much for me to praise in this comedy, but I personally thing its strongest aspect is the banter between the author and narrator. You're the first BZP comedy writer I've ever seen use the (overdone) "independent narrator" shtick alongside yourself as the other, and the addition of "Transition Guy" is a clever third man to observe your interactions. While I do think the plot and characterization of the main story is well done, Narrator and Author are the real gold in this story.

Good work; I'll definitely check back. :) Keep on writing.

I actually can't believe I didn't respond to this for over two months. Yikes.

But thank you! It makes me happy to know that the work I'm actually putting into polishing this is actually showing. I hope you enjoy what you see next!

---

Chapter 3: Enflamed

 

In the Streets of Ko-Metru…

 

“What…happened?” Onua mused, looking at the vandalized street.

 

“I don’t know…whatever it was, though, it has to do with what Tahu called us for, right?”

 

“No kidding, Pohatu,” Onua shook his head, looking up at Nuju’s apartment building. “We should probably go up there now—“

 

“Or maybe he’s put us in the middle of GTA V,” Pohatu suggested.

 

Onua facepalmed. “Really, who cares about that game anymore? Let’s go.”

 

In Nuju’s Apartment…

 

Tahu swung his sword, breaking the chains off Helryx’s mace. The spiked ball fell to the floor and made a large hole as it tumbled down to the third floor.

 

Helryx tackled Tahu, kicking him in a fit of rage. TSO, Teridax and Axonn followed suit, leaving Kopaka and Nuju to take in the situation. Kopaka looked at Nuju, unmistakably confused. “Well...hello there.”

 

Nuju pulled at the handcuff’s chains with his Ice Pick, breaking it. “Don’t even ask. I’ve learned a lot from the, uh, wig salon.”

 

Kopaka raised an eyebrow. “The what?”

 

DUDE. STAY OUT OF MY DIALOGUE. YOU’LL SPOIL THE ENTIRE COMEDY AT THIS RATE.

 

Uh, I should care, right?

 

Kopaka grabbed his sword and shield from his back and pulled Axonn off the pile, slamming him in the face with his shield. “For Mata Nui’s sake, a pile isn’t going to stop Tahu. You have to come up with better things. Maybe, like, uh, an unfair prophecy or something.”

 

I’m literally going to kill you, Narrator.

 

Axonn growled and gripped his axe. “No one underestimates the power of Axxie. And, no one, especially you, slams his or her shield into Axxie’s face.” He ran for Kopaka.

 

TSO whistled, and a horde of Dark Hunters burst through the window. Knocking Axonn down, Guardian and Ancient surrounded Kopaka and put their weapons up to Kopaka’s neck. “You’re going down, Toa,” they both said, grinning.

 

Pohatu and Onua burst through the front door, followed by a small army of Matoran and even a few Turaga. Onua unleashed projectiles of earth at the opposing army, knocking Teridax, Helryx and TSO away from Tahu. Pohatu kicked Guardian and Ancient away from Kopaka while Onua dealt with incoming Makuta from the window.

 

Tahu, Nuju and Helryx had ignited the flames of a civil war.

 

In the Invention Room…

 

Tahu panted as he locked the door shut, still skeptical, however, about being safe.

 

“…This won’t hold…will it?” He looked around the lab, eventually finding a roll of duct tape, taping the door shut.

 

Powering the Transport back on, Tahu grabbed the remote and looked back down at the floor. So…that city is out of the question. And Bota Magna…seems all right, but too congested. Not desolate enough.

 

In the time that Tahu and Gali had spent together, Tahu knew her to be a reserved, tactical being. While she was a strong fighter, she had a soft heart, and valued daring adventures because she could have the opportunity to meet other beings, and be able to help them. Thus, a vast, tan desert planet caught Tahu’s eye. He clicked on it, and it zoomed in. Bara Magna. “It’s hot,” Tahu murmured. “Nuju said she wouldn’t be somewhere hot.”

 

The freedom of the planet entranced him, however, as it would have entranced Gali. “It looks basically empty. Yet...so much seems possible…” He selected the planet and the Transport fired up.

 

Tahu walked in front of the Transport, ready to run in. Suddenly, he hesitated. Wait…what if I never see them again? I’ll never have been able to say goodbye to them…should I leave a note? Tahu laughed at the thought of it. “I’m sure I’ll see them in another chapter someday…”

 

Earlier in Onewa’s Apartment…

 

Onewa jumped as the mace fell through Nuju’s floor and smashed his coffee table. He stood up, hobbled over to the hole and looked up. From what he could see, Helryx was playing a football game against Tahu and she’d just tackled him.

 

He didn’t know how wrong he was…until it hit him, literally. A few minutes later, shards of glass and a beaten Kopaka fell through the hole and went crashing into Onewa’s apartment.

 

Kopaka landed on top of Onewa, but quickly rolled off to ease the Turaga’s pains. “Ouch. Owwwww. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to uh, crash your party."

 

Onewa grunted, trying to get up. Kopaka got to his feet and helped him up. “Thank you, young Toa. No…I don’t have many friends. Explain what in Metru Nui is going on, please...”

 

“Well.” Kopaka stopped cradling his legs and stopped crying like a baby. “Tahu’s turned on Helryx for her being a tyrant and now she’s—“

 

“Thank the Great Beings!” Onewa sighed, relieved. Opening his coffee table drawer, he pulled out a confetti popper, which exploded in multicolored streams and ten years’ worth of dust. “You have no idea how long I’ve been telling Nuju to tell Tahu about that.”

 

Kopaka looked confused. “…I beg your pardon, Turaga?”

 

Onewa’s smile faded, as he seemed to go into a trance. “The Matoran. Helryx…torturing them…you’ve got to help them.”

 

“What?” Kopaka looked stunned. “How could that make sense?”

 

“Look, just trust me, will you?” Onewa grabbed Kopaka’s arm, clearly frazzled. “They’re our future Toa, and even if they aren’t, it isn’t right what Helryx does to them...whether she degrades their Rebuilt bodies or kills them for spare parts.”

 

Kopaka knew the truth. He saw the truth. But he couldn’t convey the truth. He didn’t want to believe the truth. He was able to get two words out, albeit quietly. “Anything else?”

 

“Anything else? Why must I say anything else? No more words. Only fighting. You have to fight for them. For us.”

 

In the Invention Room…

 

The lab door exploded, making Tahu jump. Helryx, TSO, and Teridax rushed in with Nuju and Kopaka trailing behind. “We…tried to stop them…but…” Kopaka gasped for breath.

 

“Run, young Toa,” Nuju warned Tahu.

 

Tahu stood still with his back to them. Slowly he turned around, and once facing forward he pointed his sword at Helryx’s face.

 

Helryx chuckled. “You dare—oh, whatever. We’ll have you taken care of shortly. And this time, there’s nowhere to run,” she said, pointing her staff at the Transport. Instantly, the machine’s power died, and Helryx ran towards Tahu once more.

 

To Be Continued…

 

---


Edited by MetaStriker, Feb 16 2017 - 07:19 PM.

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#6 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Feb 05 2017 - 04:53 PM

Huh, wasn't aware that it's been almost two weeks since I posted Chapter 3.

Some additional information regarding this comedy: it is shaping up to be an epicomedy, which I've found necessary in order to keep the story on track and prevent humor from over-randomizing. If it isn't working, tell me what you think of it! I really do appreciate criticism.

Also, whereas Chapter 5 used to mark the end of this season, I have decided to split it into a (still very long) Chapter 5 and a new Epilogue, which sets up Season 2 of the comedy, Tahu's Consequence. Season 2 will be posted in a different topic to keep things organized, but I'll keep links between the two topics handy to minimize separation and confusion.

A new chapter approaches!

---

Chapter 4: Parting

Tahu winced, snapping around to counter Helryx’s swipe of her staff. Caught by surprise, Helryx sprawled back onto a lab table, flipping it and splashing pizza protodermis onto TSO.

 

“No! You fool! I’m allergic to pizza protodermis! Someone help me, my armor’s corroding away!”

 

That doesn’t even make sense. Why would his armor be allergic to the pizza protodermis? Shouldn’t it be protecting TSO from actually dying?

Narrator. Shut up.

 

“I can help you,” Kopaka said, pushing TSO straight into a stasis tube. The door shut immediately behind the tyrant, leaving him to lose consciousness to happy gas. “One down, two to go.”

 

“I’ll kill you for that,” Teridax grumbled, his spear pointed towards the Toa as he ran. Kopaka froze the floor beneath him, and the Makuta crashed to the ground, humiliated.

 

“One and a half down, one and a—“ Kopaka never finished his sentence, as Teridax grabbed his foot and sent the Toa slipping and falling onto the icy floor as well.

 

“Stop counting,” Teridax said. “And if you don’t, I’ll make you stop.”

 

Wow, what a threat!

One chapter, Narrator. Please.

Outside the Lab…

Nuhrii shot his Kanoka Disk straight into the Bitil’s neck, slicing its head off cleanly. He felt satisfied watching its lifeless body drop into the mob of beings forming outside the apartment building.

 

Okay. That’s a little too gruesome.

And your awful jokes in-dialogue aren’t?

……

 

Guardian knocked Nuhrii to the floor, and the Matoran’s Kanoka Disk Launcher flew out of his hands and out the window. “Your fight ends here, you puny little Matoran,” the Dark Hunter scowled.

 

Nuhrii was quick to react. He swiftly rolled away from Guardian’s energy beam, grabbing a shard of glass off the floor. Aiming quickly but precisely, he threw the fragment right into Guardian’s eye.

 

“Argh!” Guardian yelled, clenching his eye and dropping to the ground. “You—I’ll---“

 

Onua shoved his blade into the Dark Hunter’s chest, and he was still. He looked at Nuhrii, impressed. “He won’t. Impressive fighting, Matoran. Our fight is long from finished, though.” Handing Nuhrii a new Kanoka Disk Launcher along with a short dagger, the two rejoined the fray.

 

Back in the Lab…

“Now,” Teridax said, clenching the Turaga in his fist, “I’ve got you right where I want you.”

 

Nuju tried to reach for his Ice Pick, which was not too far away on a lab table. Teridax moved further away, slipping and falling with the Turaga in his grasp. “Oh!” Nuju jested. “How the turntables!”

 

Teridax grunted in pain (because of both the ice and the overused The Office reference) as he tried to get up again. “Any way of removing this ice?”

 

“Maybe if you give me my Ice Pick back,” said Nuju, smirking.

 

“Ha! No chance of that happening. Especially because now—“ the Makuta stood up and pointed his staff at the Turaga. “I’m going to kill you.”

 

By the Transport

Helryx dueled Kopaka fiercely while Tahu fired up the Transport. It was very risky, looking back every five seconds, but the system ended up loading marginally faster than Sonic ‘06. Tahu could be free.

 

Tahu’s mind was racing. What if this malfunctions? What if Gali’s not there? What if—Kopaka—

 

Kopaka flew off to the side as Helryx created a water whirlwind around her. It melted the ice and sent water streaming towards the Transport’s wired system.

 

I guess I can’t blast out of here without a bang.

 

No---

No…

Yeah, okay. That was terrible. I know. We’ll stop now.

 

Tahu held his Magma Swords out, channeling heat through the blades. Helryx’s water streams evaporated and the increased heat knocked her to the ground.

 

Tahu turned to the blue vortex, swirling once again. The green light buzzed. He could be free.

 

What he did not see—or hear, for that matter, was Helryx, fuming. “You can’t beat me!” she screamed as she ran to Tahu with her staff, spiked with protosteel blades, poised to impale his back.

 

“STOP!”

 

As Nuju screamed, he felt Teridax tremor slightly, then everything froze.

 

No, no one literally froze over, but time stood still. Helryx’s spiked staff hovered mid-air, its chains solid coming down from her swing. Axonn’s axe, hardened like steel, remained inches away from Kopaka’s throat as Teridax grasped Nuju loosely in his hand.

 

Sliding down, Nuju clenched his Ice Pick and feebly hobbled over to Tahu, pointing his staff at him.

 

Unfreezing, Tahu’s jaw dropped as he looked around the laboratory, which had clearly been decimated throughout the few hours they had battled. “I’m so sorry...oh, no, you’re hurt too…”

 

“Don’t worry about me, young Toa. I had my time. I won’t last much longer now.” Nuju glanced back at Teridax, whose angered eyes were slowly starting to unfreeze.

 

“But…how…you have to come with me.”

 

“I cannot. I must fulfill my destiny here. You have to go, you have to be a symbol of freedom for our world...and for theirs.” Nuju breathed heavily, hearing Helryx’s chains jingle slightly behind Tahu.

 

“I didn’t ask for this.”

 

“Well, you kind of did. You wanted to leave. You wanted to be free. Maybe you can free us, too.”

 

“That’s frankly not what I was aiming to do.”

 

“I really don’t care. Now go, young Toa. This part didn’t exist in the original comedy, and as heartwarming as it is, you’re really dragging it out. And if you keep dragging it out, this wonderful plot device we’ve put in here will run out of juice, Helryx will kill us all, and we’ll be royally screwed over even after we die, because the author---oh, forget it. Just go.”

 

Tahu smirked, shooting flames up around him as time unfroze. Backflipping into the portal, Tahu disappeared as the fire raged in Nuju’s lab.

 

Moments Earlier…

I can hear them. I can hear them and I cannot stop them.

 

I feel powerless.

 

Why would Tahu do this to me? I’ve literally never done anything awful to him. He’s been my number one Toa for years, my right-hand man, my secret man-crush…

 

...uh, too far?

 

As time unfroze, Helryx’s staff thudded to the ground, striking her foot. Bending her leg up, she dove backwards as Tahu shot flames around him and disappeared into the blue portal.

 

“You fool!” Helryx shrieked, angry and pained. “You will not escape. I’ll kill you! Axonn!”

 

Pulling his fallen axe out of the floor, the titan rushed over to Helryx. “What do you need Axxie for, my lady?”

 

“He--he escaped through that portal—“ she pointed at the blue vortex, which grew smaller as the flames grew larger.

 

“And?”

 

Helryx facepalmed. “You will follow him. You must stop him.”

 

“…um.”

 

“What are you...waiting for?” she sputtered, choking on the smoke that was fogging the room.

 

“…what should it matter to Axxie? Tahu’s not really a bad guy.”

 

“You doofus...ugh. Fine. I’ll give you...a raise.”

 

“Done.” Dodging the flames, Axonn jumped through the portal moments before it evaporated.

 

Helryx looked around, struggling to move her head. Hearing the building creak and the ceiling shake, she knew she did not have time to escape on her own. “Teridax? Shadowed One?”

 

No answer.

 

“Nuju? Kopaka? Don’t leave me here. I haven’t been that awful of a ruler. It’s not like I murdered thousands of Matoran for my own benefit. You know what? Fine. I’ll let you guys preorder the Switch. Just get me out of--”

 

The ceiling support gave out, raining rock and metal onto the empress. The flames raged on for a few more minutes, until the apartment building’s lousy and faulty sprinkler system finally came on.

 

The battle of Ko-Metru had concluded, and all was still.

To Be Continued.

---

 

 

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#7 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Feb 14 2017 - 11:27 PM

Guys, this one's a doozy...

---

Chapter 5: Awakening

So you’re probably wondering who on Mata Nui we are...

Narrator!! We didn’t properly introduce ourselves until Season 2, Chapter 2 of the original comedy. This isn’t what I wrote! Why do you keep deviating from what I, the author, writes?

To be fair, you pretty much just introduced yourself. You also introduced yourself in an unnecessarily long speech in Chapter 1 this time around. Your point?

...I’m going to fire you.

You didn’t do that until Season 2, Chapter 6. Your point?

...Shut up. We’ll get back to this.

Transition Guy! Transition the story already!

Oh, finally…

 

In Darkness…

Darkness isn’t a real place to transition to! Come on, not you too…

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

Makuta Teridax lay in the darkness.

 

He had always laid in darkness. Prior to 2001, he had orchestrated the Great Cataclysm to set the Great Spirit to sleep and impose tyranny on the Matoran Universe. His extensive plan had barely any errors, little chance of failing against the inhabitants of Mata Nui, Metru Nui and Voya Nui. He had not even considered the Order of Mata Nui to be a threat.

 

In the year 2001, six Toa canisters washed upon the shores of Mata Nui. Befriending the villagers on the island, the Toa Mata searched for the five masks they needed to create the Golden Kanohi, which they used in conjunction to defeat Teridax. Two years later, he was again beaten by the newly-transformed Takanuva, Toa of Light, who left the Makuta inches away from death as his antidermis was the only thing bounding him to reality.

 

He began to doubt.

 

As the inhabitants of Mata Nui filtered into Metru Nui, shadows lingered in Mangai. Teridax waited for something to either kill him, save him, or just find him…

 

Yet, as the Piraka brought him to Voya Nui, Teridax continued to doubt. The plan could work. But he had underestimated the power of the light. In fact, he still did.

 

Three years later, the Toa Inika defeated the Piraka, Vezon and the Makuta Antidermis, following the Ignika into Mahri Nui. As Teridax prepared to follow them down The Cord, a hurricane slammed into the Piraka Stronghold, flooding it and drowning all of the Piraka. Helryx, aided by Axonn, seized Teridax’s spirit and forced him to abandon his plan, join the Order, and have a second chance to terrorize the Matoran Universe by having a new body constructed...or die.

 

Teridax became the Assistant to Her Orderly Empress, and once again, believed he was invincible.

 

As he stood up, joints aching, protosteel armor dented, he doubted again.  

 

In Onewa’s Apartment…

“Why, you could have made yourself useful today,” Onewa jested, rubbing his head.

 

“I was on vacation! I didn’t know we were about to start a full-scale rebellion, I’m sorry.” Takanuva, Toa of Light, had been vacationing on the shores of Mata Nui, which had been transformed into a boardwalk and casino heaven since the Orderly Empire had taken power. Earlier, Taka had been busy tanning on Ta-Wahi Beach, listening to “Take on Me” on repeat, full blast. By the time he checked his phone, it was overheated, and he had to wait a few hours as it cooled down before he finally got the news notification about the battle.

 

“You’ve been on this since the beginning, Takanuva. Ever since the Makuta fell silent. I can’t believe you weren’t here to aid us.” Onewa wistfully looked through the hole in the ceiling. “We could have killed that CENSORED.”

 

“I’m sorry. I really wanted to be a nice golden-brown!” Taka slapped his knee, laughing. He was the only one laughing.

 

Onewa glared at him. “Just get upstairs, you dingus.”

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

Crack. Crack.

 

As the glass of TSO’s stasis tube shattered onto the floor, Teridax wiped a bead of sweat from his mask--

 

Bionicles can’t sweat.

I’m going to CENSORED murder you in your sleep.

Thanks, Censorer.

NARRATOR! I’M LOSING MY PATIENCE.

Maybe if you just agreed with me and stopped complaining so much, the story would just go on.

I’m not your CENSORED, Narrator. I’m your boss. And you know what? You’re fired, you crooked CENSORED.

Maybe switching to script will make this comedy great again.

 

TSO: Uhh...where am I?

 

Teridax: Literally, still in Nuju’s Lab. It’s not like we locked you up in a closet in Daxia Fortress or anything.

 

TSO: Oh, good. Is the pizza protodermis gone?

 

Teridax: Yeah, I’m pretty sure the ten-foot high flames overcooked it into oblivion. Have you seen that pesky little Nuju around?

 

TSO: Dude. I just woke up.

 

Teridax: Oh, my bad, I guess I’m supposed to count that as an excuse.

 

TSO: Your excuse for losing to Takanuva wasn’t very good, either.

 

Teridax: You dared--

 

Taka: (enters) He dared. I guess.

 

...you have to admit, this is awful.

Really? I thought the sarcasm and other assorted banter was tremendously well done.

Oh, fine.

 

In Nuju’s Apartment…

“Hey, now, I don’t want to go in there either, Pohatu,” Onua said. “But we need to. Taka can’t finish whoever’s left in there by himself.”

 

“But come on!” Pohatu whined. “I want to play GTA V! They just came out with a new update!”

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” a voice said behind them. Pohatu and Onua spun around.

 

“First of all,” Nuhrii said, staring up at the Toa, “Overwatch is the bee’s knees. Second, if you don’t go in there, then I will, you cowards.”

 

Ever since his return to Metru Nui, Nuhrii had regained his memories and was returned to his pre-Cataclysm build. He was one of the strongest and most skillful Matoran, owing his own talents to his inspiration...the best Toa, Tahu.

 

“Let me through, please,” Nuhrii requested.

 

Pohatu smirked. “Please. You’re too little to handle the titans.”

 

“I’m not little! I’m taller than all the other Matoran! And hey, you’re not the tallest Toa either.”

 

“He does have a point,” Pohatu said to Onua. The Toa of Earth stepped aside, but Pohatu remained stationary.

 

“Come on, Pohatu,” pleaded Nuhrii.

 

“I won’t!” Pohatu pouted.

 

Onua sighed. “Fine, Pohatu, go play your overrated last-gen game.”

 

Pohatu grinned. “Yay!” He rushed out of the apartment, nearly trampling the two on the way. Rolling his eyes, Onua followed Nuhrii into the lab, smoke leaking out through the opened door.

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

“You don’t need to sneak in. We can hear you.”

 

Nuhrii, Taka and Onua jumped as they entered the lab, which cleared as the smoke and dust dispersed into the rest of the apartment. The remaining members of the battle silently followed them through the door, observing the ambiance in front of them.

 

Fragments of twisted steel and large chunks of rubble from the ceiling above rested in front of the dormant Transport. Makuta Teridax and The Shadowed One, with their backs to the crowd, stood in front of the pile. Their heads hung in silence.

 

Open your eyes…

 

Beneath the piles of debris, Helryx blinked. As she slowly regained consciousness, she tried to push herself up.

 

Nothing. She was pinned down.

 

“What do we do?” TSO whispered to Teridax.

 

“Shh…” Teridax whacked TSO on the arm. “She can’t die. There’s two seasons left of this comedy.”

 

“Oww. But what if she does?”

 

Someone remind me why I hired TSO, he’s a literal moron…

 

Taka emerged from the crowd, pointing his staff at Teridax. “You’re outnumbered. Your leader is dead. You must surrender to us now.”

 

“Wow, so heartfelt.” Teridax spun around, fake-sniffling. “You must understand that our leader is dead, and our hearts are broken.”

 

“You don’t deserve understanding. You don’t deserve sympathy. You deserve--”

 

“Hey, where were you during this battle? It doesn’t seem like you care anymore about the poor rebellion in this room than I do.” Teridax drew his staff. “If you want to fight, I’ll hunt down every last one of you until you have been obliterated.”

 

“Uh, Teridax--”

 

“SILENCE!” Teridax shrieked. “This is what Helryx would have wanted, TSO. She wouldn’t have been more grateful of me for having me go down with honor.”

 

This is getting very out of hand. That’s it. I need to---

 

Teridax rushed at Taka, who thrust his staff out at Teridax’s neck. A geyser shot up between them, knocking the two away from each other. Draining away, Her Orderly Empress stood where the pile of debris had crushed her hours before, yet Helryx now stood as menacing as she had when she had broken into Nuju’s apartment.

 

Tapping her Mask of Psychometry, Helryx slowly turned her head to face the back of the Transport. “I know you’re back there.”

 

A few seconds. A blackened Nuju hobbled from behind the gate to the side of the room, scarred from the smoke and fire that had occurred hours ago. “He made it through the portal. You saw it. Tahu has escaped.”

 

Helryx’s eyes flared in annoyance. “I know, you stupid old coot. I saw. And it just so happens that he has a titan of the Empire hot on his tail.”

 

Nuju convulsed, scrambling further away from the empress. “You didn’t--no. You cannot stop him. You cannot stop us. We’ll never forgive you for the lives you’ve ended, the terrors you’ve imposed…”

 

Silently, Helryx walked over to the Turaga, and in one fluid motion--snatched him and snapped his neck.

 

Tossing the inventor’s body out of the window, where it conveniently fell into a well-placed bucket, Helryx arched her back, standing tall above the rebellion that had fallen silent in the room.

 

“You see what you’ve done. You’ve sparked a rebellion. But you don’t understand what you have done.

 

You’ve brought doom to your own destinies.”

 

To Be Concluded…

---

The epilogue will be posted Monday, February 20th.
 
Also...
03.02.2017

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#8 Offline MetaStriker

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Posted Mar 03 2017 - 11:07 AM

Welp. I missed both of those release dates.

Tech week hit like a truck, and I know it's been a week since then, but I've still had trouble adjusting.

Today I'm posting this because I'm home, waiting impatiently for my Switch to arrive.

 

So...

---

Epilogue: Unraveling

In an Unknown Location...

A gold-masked figure enters a room, disposing grains of sand across the floor as he treads across the floor. Reaching the center of the room, he suddenly stops, kneeling down, waiting.

 

He hears footsteps, chains rattling, a deep cackle from the darkness in front of him, and a flash of blue light...

 

In Ko-Metru…

Dark Hunters and Makuta are stationed in the streets and in beings’ homes, one day after the skirmish in Nuju’s apartment.

 

The apartment building itself is evacuated and roped off. Helryx stands at the open window, looking down upon her legions quartering the city. Behind her, TSO examines Nuju’s other inventions, ripping apart the Nintendo 1DS and carefully avoiding any trace of pizza protodermis.

 

Helryx exudes fear visually, but is internally unstable. Afraid. Distrusting. She curses the Great Beings under her breath. She curses out the author for rewriting the comedy twice, but never giving her the chance to date obliterate Tahu.

 

She has realized she is not invulnerable.

 

And yet, she will stop at nothing to reassure herself that she cannot truly be defeated.

 

Makuta Teridax investigates the Transport, only recognizable by its obsidian gate. The embellishing elements of gold, silver, and platinum have all been deformed by the fire, and the technology powering the gate has been completely fried. He wonders, if he had gone through that gate, what could have been.

 

What could have been if he had gone through with his plan?

 

In Daxia Fortress…

Blue light emanates, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Soft humming and bubbling can be faintly heard from the machinery. There are seven.

 

On Bara Magna...

The planet of Bara Magna has remained a barren wasteland for millennia. In an alternate universe, it may have regained its vast species of flora and fauna, or it may have been scrapped when a second generation of BIONICLE was produced, bringing the series away from its unfinished story serials and into a generalized, uninteresting atmosphere with CCBS and Netflix releases…

 

This is not that universe. This is not our story.

 

A Kaxium V3 speeds out of Tajun, veering close to the Sea of Liquid Sand. The being piloting the main car keeps one hand on the handlebars, another hand in his satchel, clutching a gold coin.

 

Hundreds of miles away, a Glatorian escapes a Bone Hunter skirmish in his Thornatus V7. He is heading home to practice for his upcoming match against his friend, Gelu. It is a battle the old Glatorian knows he will falter in and a battle he does not want to fight, but he knows the Skrall will not grant him mercy.

 

The Skrall rule with an iron fist over the desert and its fledgling tribes. The Agori have become helpless, forced to acquiesce to the empire they live under. The Glatorian have become pawns for entertainment, puppets for enforcing the tyranny of Tuma and his elites.

 

Hope has been dead for eight years on Bara Magna.

 

Yet, a blue flash of light. An explosion of sand. A comet of fire, blazing underneath and above the sand, as Tahu, Toa Nuva of Fire, rockets through, thriving in the heat.

 

He is a symbol of life. Of happiness. Of hope.

 

And vengeance.

 

End of Season 1.

The prologue of Tahu's Consequence will release on Sunday, March 5th, 2017.

 

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#9 Offline Master Inika

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Posted Mar 03 2017 - 02:48 PM

Nice season finale. I will admit I sort of lost track of this story and just jumped back in. Still very nice ambiance and descriptions. I would say not enough actual comedy, but that bit about Generation 2 fulfilled my need. Good work. I'll be looking forward to Tahu's Consequence.


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