Makuta of Time Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I made changes to the character and backstory in order to better suit his species. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Name: AukumeSpecies: Tobduk's speciesGender: MalePowers: MagnetismGear: Wears a Mask of Intangibility. Wields a Double-bladded Kursarigama that has a small blade as a weight at the end of its chain. He also carries a rifle styled Rhotuka Launcher that fires Intangible RhotukaPersonal Aircraft: Sand SharkAllegiance/Role: OutcastAppearance: Aukume is a tall, Hagah armored styled being. Many of the metals used to make his armor are non-magnetic which helps counter anyone trying to use his own power on him. However, the armor has dents and scratches from all the fights he's had in the past, especially the three large claw marks running across his chest. He wears a tanned, tattered cloak that covers his torso and mouth, while also having a hood.Personality: He's a rather cold person to begin with. He has no intentions to participate in the politics of the new system. Ever since he was a part of the Matoran Universe, he never cared what authority figures told him. However, on the inside of the cold exterior of the being, is a heart of gold. When the a situation arises, he does not hesitate to put aside his cold deminer to save others from danger for that is the purpose he carries.Bio: During his time in the MU, he was one of the few who escaped with Tobduk when the Visorak came. While Tobduk can feed on the anger of others and his own, Aukume had the power of magnetism similar to those of all Fa-Matoran species. When he and others arrived on Stelt, only Tobduk was recruited to the OoMN. He felt jealous that his friend was enlisted to such a powerful organization. At the time, he did not master his power and was still fairly new to them. While Tobduk gained an angry persona after the extinction event, Aukume became cold and anarchic. He cared little to the laws of the places he visited, and often found himself in scuffles. While out by the Southern Continent, he stumbled upon a pack of Rahkshi attacking a Matoran village. Fearing that these Matoran would end up the same fate as him, he jumped in to fight them off. He fight him honor, compassion, and zeal. A side to him that was now a rarity. However, during the encounter a Turahk fired a fear blast at him. The sensation and thoughts clouding his mind overwhelmed him completely. He let out a powerful blast of magnetism that everything caught in the blast were crushed to death. No one survived minus Aukume. Feeling only shame and guilt, he left the island and secluded himself and practiced once more on his powers so that another incident like such would never happen again. His tranquility was rather short-lived as he was greeted by Tobduk and a Toa. They saw his potential and recruited him several years before Teridax took over the MU.During the time he was in the OoMN, he had a distate for Helryx and other senior members. Mainly due to them being figures of authority. However, Aukume had a particular resentment to Tobduk for partially abandoning him and his allies. They only spared once, but the others would not call it such. He did lose and paid after seeing just how much Tobduk has changed in the many years apart. He was sentenced to The Pit, but just when he was just about to be taken there, he used his powers to escape. Since then he has been on the run from the Order and hiding out from island to island. Once the MU came crashing down and landed on what is now Spherus Magna, he constructed a vehicle in order to traverse the forgein land. Whenever he ventures into a town on this new world he tries his best to conceal his identity knowing that members might still be around and looking for him. Aircraft:Name: Sand SharkModel: Jetrax T6Weaponry: Twin Pulse Bolt Genetartors on each wing. They are modified to fire at 600 rpms. There's also radio guidance missle launcher under the nose of the vehicle.Customisation: Jet Thrusters replace the bulky turbines for faster speed and manuverability. This allows for a more faster and agile vehicle while also reducing the weight of it. In order to accomadate the new propulsion system an armor housing is made to hold the jets in place while also acting as a stabilazer for them. The plating is not thick or covers the entire thruster. This still leaves vunerable spots for the thrusters that enemies can exploit.Appearance: On it's armor plating, it has a dark sandy color while the rest of the craft is in a gunmetal grey color. It is much sleeker than most T6's due to the armor plating and parts used to forge the craft, as well as it being longer in order to accommodate his size. My most profound apologies for not getting back to you about this sooner. Things have been more than a little hectic for me this past week. Now, looking at this new version of the profile, I've still got a few issues with it. Firstly, the profile doesn't explain how or why Aukume has magnetism as a power, instead of the ability to feed of emotions like the rest of his species. Secondly, intangibility is an extremely abuseable power, one that I'm really not comfortable with approving - especially in combination with another borderline-OP power like magnetism. I'm also a little lost in regards to the ranged weapon. What exactly entails a "rifle styled" rhotuka launcher? In addition to this, as mentioned above, I'm not going to approve intangibility as a power. Most of the rest is fine, although in regards to the backstory, the Order of Mata Nui has no presence in this game, so your character has no reason to still be afraid of them at this point in time. I do, however, have a few issues with the armaments on the aircraft. For the most part, I've been trying to get people to stick to variations of weapons that exist - or could exist - in the Bionicle universe... while still being balanced and reasonable for gameplay purposes. Gatling lasers that can fire off ten rounds a second, and radio guided homing rockets, do not fit either of those criteria. Overall, there's the basis of a good profile here, but certain aspects of it still need to be toned down and reworked. Quote Embers - A Bionicle Saga - Chapters/Review Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_jaga_genius Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Is New Atero still standing at this point in time? I was thinking of jumping in again, with Dedris heading out from there. Quote Avatar by Nicholas Anderson (NickonAquaMagna)My blog: The Jaga's Nest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Yep, New Atero is definitely (mostly) still standing. Quote Embers - A Bionicle Saga - Chapters/Review Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta of Time Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 To be honest, I couldn't find that one part that talked about Tobduk's species. Now that I have that, I'll get to fixing the issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted July 14, 2017 Author Share Posted July 14, 2017 Name: AukumeSpecies: Tobduk's speciesGender: MalePowers: Fear AbsorbtionGear: Wears a Mask of Biomechanics . Wields a Double-bladded Kursarigama that has a small blade as a weight at the end of its chain. He also carries a wrist-mounted Rhotuka Launcher that fires Flight Negation RhotukaPersonal Aircraft: Sand SharkAllegiance/Role: OutcastAppearance: Aukume is a tall, Hagah armored styled being. The armor has dents and scratches from all the fights he's had in the past, especially the three large claw marks running across his chest. He wears a tanned, tattered cloak that covers his torso and mouth, while also having a hood.Personality: He's a rather cold person to begin with. He has no intentions to participate in the politics of the new system. Ever since he was a part of the Matoran Universe, he never cared what authority figures told him. However, on the inside of the cold exterior of the being, is a heart of gold. When the a situation arises, he does not hesitate to put aside his cold deminer to save others from danger for that is the purpose he carries.Bio: During his time in the MU, he was one of the few who escaped with Tobduk when the Visorak came. While Tobduk can feed on the anger of others and his own, Aukume had the power of feeding of fear of others. When he and others arrived on Stelt, only Tobduk was recruited to the OoMN. He felt jealous that his friend was enlisted to such a powerful organization. At the time, he did not master his power and was still fairly new to them. While Tobduk gained an angry persona after the extinction event, Aukume became cold and anarchic. He cared little to the laws of the places he visited, and often found himself in scuffles. While out by the Southern Continent, he stumbled upon a pack of Rahkshi attacking a Matoran village. Fearing that these Matoran would end up the same fate as him, he jumped in to fight them off. He fight him honor, compassion, and zeal. A side to him that was now a rarity. However, during the encounter a Turahk fired a fear blast at him. The sensation and thoughts clouding his mind overwhelmed him completely even though he could feed off the power. The problem during this moment of his history is that he still didn't master his power completely and was still new to it. He let out a powerful blast of fear that everything caught in the went insane and died from the sheer amount of fear that consumed them. No one survived minus Aukume. Feeling only shame and guilt, he left the island and secluded himself and practiced once more on his powers so that another incident like such would never happen again. His tranquility was rather short-lived as he was greeted by Tobduk and a Toa. They saw his potential and recruited him several years before Teridax took over the MU.During the time he was in the OoMN, he had a distate for Helryx and other senior members. Mainly due to them being figures of authority. However, Aukume had a particular resentment to Tobduk for partially abandoning him and his allies. They only 'spared' once, but the others would not call it such. He did lose and paid after seeing just how much Tobduk has changed in the many years apart. He was sentenced to The Pit, but just when he was just about to be taken there, he used his powers to escape. When the MU came crashing down, he made a Jetrax T6 using spare parts he found all around the abandoned islands. Aircraft:Name: Sand SharkModel: Jetrax T6Weaponry: Twin Pulse Bolt Genetartors on each wing. There's also a electro-rocket launcher under the nose of the vehicle.Customisation: Jet Thrusters replace the bulky turbines for faster speed and manuverability. This allows for a more faster and agile vehicle while also reducing the weight of it. In order to accomadate the new propulsion system an armor housing is made to hold the jets in place while also acting as a stabilazer for them. The plating is not thick or covers the entire thruster. This still leaves vunerable spots for the thrusters that enemies can exploit.Appearance: On it's armor plating, it has a dark sandy color while the rest of the craft is in a gunmetal grey color. It is much sleeker than most T6's due to the armor plating and parts used to forge the craft, as well as it being longer in order to accommodate his size. There's some creative concepts in here. I'll be keeping an eye on that Mask and Rhotuka, but overall, I'm not seeing anything that stands out as game-breaking, so Aukume and the Sand Shark are now Approved. Quote Embers - A Bionicle Saga - Chapters/Review Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makuta of Time Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 Awesome! I'll find a place to see where I can start Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eiji Hino Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 Y'know, you could start in Cliffside, Forgotten Soul. I've got two characters who could use some interaction there. Quote [ The Unofficial capMARVELOUS Theme Song ] [ The Gentlemen (Review) | Go West, Young Agori (Review) | terrible bionicle drawings ] [ BZPower's Bara Magna: Lan | BZPRPG Profiles | Hestala | Bacchus | Catina | Grank ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato G Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 All good things must come to an end, as they say. Unfortunately, it looks like that adage is true of this game, sooner than I would've liked. I fully admit that this is at least partially my fault; I've recently moved house, I'm looking for work, am trying to write a novel, and also launched a game over in G&T. Together, these things are draining a lot of my time and creativity. However, a game like this is largely dependent on player interaction, and we were never really able to build up a playerbase big enough to keep this game going. I did what I could to keep things moving, with side quests and various other events, but after the initial spike in activity, things always seemed to dwindle again. Quests got stalled while everyone waited for posts that never came, characters disappeared mid-conversation, and battles were abandoned halfway through. In the end, there simply weren't enough active players left to keep the game alive. To be clear, I absolutely don't blame anybody for this. One only has to look at the main page for this forum to see how the Bionicle RPG scene as a whole is faring. The BZPRPG is basically dead, Corpus Rahkshi is barely clinging to life, and Skyrise... has fallen. I'm tempted to make some IC posts, to try to stir some life back into the game, but I think everything's too far gone at this point. Even if I did manage to encourage a little more activity, things would inevitably just die down again after a week or two. I know how some people like to write definitive endings for their characters in these games, so I'll leave the gameplay topic open for now. I'll also leave this topic open for a while, so that anyone who's still left can ask any lingering questions they might have, discuss what went wrong, what could've been done better, etc. Thank you to everyone who joined this game, especially those who stuck around. I'm sorry we never made it to this Journey's End. Quote Embers - A Bionicle Saga - Chapters/Review Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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