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Review: The Knights of Terankos


ShadowBionics

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Main Topic here: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/23801-the-knights-of-terankos/

 

This may or may not become anything. I say that because it'd depend on whether I see potential in this, if anyone likes the idea, and most importantly if I have the time and motivation to. Lately I've lost my motivation to write anything, and my time has become shortened, nothing like it was when I was a writer 10 years ago... My goodness, I began writing here in February of 2006.

 

So this story kind of ties in with a few one-shots I made in the short stories forum. Most notably, one that serves as a prelude and spring-board to what I might be planning on doing in reference to the G2 story.

Essentially, this is me attempting to fill in some stuff into the somewhat overly barren Bionicle G2 world. As such, there's ultimately very little we know about this world, who's in it, and their motives. Who are these villains, and what makes them so bad??

I've explained it before in those other topics, but I do this, I'd end up taking some creative liberties in trying to make some sense with some characters. And as crazy as it might sound, maybe re-write whatever I didn't like about the story, whether because I flat out did not like it or because I felt like it could've gone better or maybe have more elaboration to it.

Anyways, if I were to make this into an actual thing, this story would go over the Knights of Terankos, a very dark and wicked group from far away who chose to ignore the light and anything to do with it in favor of relishing in the shadows and following the god of shadows that I have for this universe, Terankos, versus everyone else who honors Mata Nui. Where G1 had the Brotherhood of Makuta, I decided maybe we could have a little something like that here to explain where most of the "bad people" come from and maybe go into their motivations and history. 

Volchior, a character of my design, was one of those knights, and one of the most dedicated to their cause. So much so, that even to this day he lives by their "code," despite there no longer being any knights or code to live by.

 

 

SPOILER ALERT: Umarak, at least in this universe, was also one of those knights. He was a very skilled hunter who fought many battles and carried out the wishes of their leader, becoming one of the highest ranking knights. He was a skilled bowman and expert with traps and tracking. I'm unsure about what other abilities the Shadow Traps themselves had, but for the sake of this story, Umarak can also be somewhat aware of what the Shadow Traps are doing and what they see/hear thanks to a mental link he can share with them.

Meanwhile, Volchior, another high-ranked knight, searches for him, as they share a common past and bond. However, while Umarak has moved on and changed somewhat in his motives and personality, Volchior cannot let go of the past so easily and is so determined to find the only living member of their former organization in order to find some meaning with his life that has become so depressingly empty and without purpose. 

The rest of the story would take place in a large flashback, showing more about the Knights, how they functioned, their leader, and when everything went wrong, finishing off with an epilogue about what Volchior ends up doing, and how he might end up accidentally playing into Makuta's hand. This could be the start of a series I begin, but again, that'll only be if I see it's worth writing and if I'm able to piece together a coherent story. Right now, all I have are some ideas in my head and some ideas written on index cards so I don't forget. Literally, the knights all exist on an index card.

Edited by ShadowBionics
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  • 3 weeks later...

Liking things so far. I'm intrigued by the inclusion of Karzahni, given his relationship with Artakha in G1 and your reimagining of Artakha. Nice nod to Axonn and Brutaka, and interesting reimagining of Umarak's origin with a neat nod to Revenge of the Sith.

Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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  • 3 months later...

This story gets better and better-loving how you have these original characters while still including Order of Mata Nui members. Previously I'd assumed that Axonn and Brutaka's companion in Chapter 1 was Karzahni, but honestly it sounds more and more like Almatas is a better fit for that role.

Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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Glad you seem to be liking it so far.

 

My apologies for taking so long. With the recent passing of my mother, things sort of got chaotic on my personal end over here, and I didn't even have TV or internet for a while. Hopefully with things being a little more stable, I will be able to go through and finish this. In which case, it'll be the first epic I finish on BZPower.

 

You might be disappointed to know that i never really intended for Karzahni to appear here. Aside from being mentioned a whole lot, him and Artakha for sure won't be popping up here anytime soon. If I write a companion piece to this that goes into the lives of Karzahni and Artakha as well as the Life Trio, then you'll get to see him probably. I'm only bouncing the idea around my head right now.

 

You're definitely going to see a lot of nods to the original G1 universe in here, as well as my reinventions of G2, especially with the character of Umarak. Ironically, this isn't the first time Atheron and Norenka appear in anything I've written. Like with Elitha in the other story, they had G1 counterparts and MOCs. But unlike Elitha, their characters saw life in writing, in the first epic I wrote on here... which was lost to time. And never finished. And most likely never will since I've long forgotten where it was going.

 

Eventually, more will be revealed about Almatas and some of it might surprise you. That's all I'll really say about it. Then again, I can also say Almatas does have a MOC made of him that I haven't made public, so you might say I've seen his real face.

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No worries-that sort of thing is very understandable-I can struggle with writing under the best circumstances, so I can only imagine how difficult something like that would be.

Well, I'm a bit of a Karzahni-Artakha nut, so any reference is likely to strike my interest. If you like the idea of fitting him into your mythos, more power to you, but it's certainly fascinating on its own. I always like a good female character, and so far yours are quite enjoyable, especially Merith-she either doesn't know she works for a murderous psychopath or she's very good at coping with it. As for Almatas, my little assumption came mostly from his possession of horns and gauntlets, but then those aren't exactly exclusive are they? So does that mean that Axonn and Brutaka's companion was meant to be Botar, or someone else?

Looking forward to this unfolding.

 

EDIT: Another great couple of chapters-likin' Zartross.

Edited by Wiriamu

Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

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Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

Chapters 7, 8, and 9 are up. On a side note, as the condition of my health has taken some... shall I say unforeseen circumstances, I'm going to be updating sporadically and possibly with some shorter chapters if seen fit.

 

Chapter 9 is meant to kind of hint at one of the larger points of the story, where we will see them in action and doing a lot more for Almatas. So as an introduction, I thought it'd work to be shorter.

 

Also to note, this story and the hypothetical story revolving around Artakha and the life trio might lead into what could be one of my most ambitious projects yet. So hopefully everything will work out and I won't have to do as I did with one of my other stories and turn it into a one-shot.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Chapter 13 is now up. I'm starting to wonder if people are liking the direction the story is going towards, considering I haven't had any sort of feedback.

 

I've also decided with the hate on the Volchior MOC I posted earlier this month, I will not share the MOC for Almatas since it doesn't seem it would be welcomed here. I did get positive feedback on it elsewhere as well as on Volchior, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. So, I'm going to keep anything related to him specific to my literary works to avoid getting any more negativity.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey, guys, time for an update on the status of the epic. And all I can say is it's not looking too good, keeping it on here.

 

There doesn't seem to be much interest in it from what I can say, or any interest in any of my alternate G2 storyline. It seems people were interested in this until I posted chapter 7, which was a silly filler sure but one that I thought the story needed to develop more into Norenka and Volchior. After that, I've been posting regularly and it seems no one is interested in it anymore. Did I do something wrong? Did I alienate what few people did seem to enjoy this? Is it because it's me writing it that people are avoiding it?

 

So, with that said, I don't think I'm going to continue writing this or anything further on BZPower anymore. I'm still going to write the rest of this story, but it will be elsewhere. This will also give me more creative freedom, as I was afraid BZPower would not approve with how I might take things. Chapter 14 was kind of a taste of how dark the story might get, and I feel even if I were to continue it, BZPower might not approve.

 

Don't worry. You're not really missing much, I suppose. I guess I'll fill you in now, but I was actually planning on this to lead into a rewrite of Bionicle G2, starting from the Toa arriving on Oktoto up until the "altered" events of Journey to One, finishing off with what I would have done for a year 3 of a story, bringing in characters from this story and from the overall G2 arc together, like getting to see Terankos and what he's all about. But again, I guess that was my fault for being so ambitious. So, yes, thank you for whatever support any one of you gave me, and I'm sorry it has to be this way. You can still find the Knights of Terankos on my alternate profile on deviant art. Otherwise, I am no longer going to write anything on here any further. A problem I had that led me to leaving in the first place was the overall lack of communication between me and my readers, as I couldn't tell if I was doing a good job or not. 

 

However, considering the lack of interest after chapter 7, I think I have my answer. So, thank you all for reading. Take it easy. Take care, bye.

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