Jump to content

WHAT IS THE POTOO?! 2


Voltex

Recommended Posts

2 YEARS AND 5000 POSTS AGO


WHAT IS THE POTOO?! 2


STARRING:

Portalfig

Ehks

Luroka

Blade

Nato

TimeLord

RG

Voltex

Underscore

Voxumo

ToaD

Taka Nuvia

Valendale

Jed

ShadowVezon

Smoke Monster

Unit

Hellyam

FF

Wiriamu

Pulse Trijhak

Tiragath

Burnmad

Dragonstar

Onaku


WITH

XCCJ


AND

WINDRIDER


-


PART ONE: WE ARE NUMBER (PO)TOO


-


In which Voltex is still missing after two years, Ehks finally gets roasted, ToaD flexes his many muscles, Portalfig is the butt of many jokes, Voxumo reveals his scythe, TimeLord asks too many questions, Luroka stokes his own ego, Blade gets elected, ShadowVezon falls in a hole, Onaku suffers through role call, Quisoves (though absent) gets a cameo, and Windrider hands out a mission.


-

 
Several Matoran were sitting around a campfire, rambling madly and pointing fingers as they tried to decide who would be roasted with the marshmallows that evening. It was a difficult task, for such a campfire of roasting someone with marshmallows had not gathered for two years, ever since the unfortunate disappearance of Voltex. One Matoran – whose name was Portal – was sitting off to the side, still sulking about his long-lost friend, but obviously, nobody else cared.
 
Two of the Matoran in particular – Luroka and ToaD – were making things quite difficult, engaged in a furious argument over which of them was more worthy of being roasted with the marshmallows.
 
“I am a god,” Luroka was saying. “Clearly, it should be me.”
 
“Nonsense,” ToaD replied, flexing his arms and causing at least half of the Matoran present to swoon. “I am clearly the sexiest person here. It is I who should be roasted!”
 
Needless to say, it was going about as well as trying to grow coffee beans using only horseradish.
 
“I’m telling you, I am a GOD, like, capital-G God!” Luroka exclaimed, refusing to allow his ego to be beaten.
 
ToaD tore off his shirt, revealing gleaming, chiselled muscles that caused everyone to swoon – including Luroka. Smirking with satisfaction, he turned to the crowd, flexing and posing for them.
 
“It’s too much,” Ehks said, eyes rolling up into her head as she passed out on top of Blade, who immediately dumped her on top of the fire.
 
Ehks immediately roasted with the marshmallows.
 
“NOOOOOOO!”
 
ToaD’s horrified cry split the air, and he immediately rushed forward, only to be held back by a cackling Luroka, whose eyes gleamed madly.
 
“No! It was meant to be me! Meeee!” ToaD cried, bursting into tears.
 
Staring down at him, Luroka chuckled. “This is so going on my Wall of Best Moments Ever.”
 
“Well then,” said Windrider, who had shown up just in time to watch Ehks get roasted. Her words effortlessly got the attention of everyone present, and they bowed before her, for even in retirement, she was, and always would be, the patron deity of Games & Trivia.
 
“Well what?” Luroka asked, for he was the only one foolish enough to think himself worthy of interrupting the mighty Windrider.
 
Twin laser beams shot out of her eyes and incinerated Luroka on the spot; ToaD, no longer supported by his worst enemy’s arms, collapsed to the ground. Windrider turned back to the crowd. “Play time is over. You have done your roasting, and now it is time to move on to your next task.”
 
“What is it?” TimeLord asked, his eyes going wide even as both Nato and RG tried fruitlessly to shut his mouth. “Is it a mission? Will we be famous? What are we doing? Who are you? Are you important? Why is everyone listening? Why do we roast people? Are we-”
 
GONG!
 
TimeLord wavered before falling face-first into the dirt courtesy of RG, who held a large pot in his hands, and had, of course, slammed it on top of the other Matoran’s head to shut him up before he could really get started.
 
Everyone’s attention immediately turned to RG – even Voxumo, whose head had to turn a full 180 degrees.
 
“Um,” he said. “I, uh. That was, uh. Yes. Yes. That was, I mean, well you see, the thing is. Um.”
 
“Nice,” Nato muttered, eyeing TimeLord (and the rapidly growing lump on his head that was already the size of a grapefruit) with an air of distaste. “Wherever we’re going, I am not carrying him.”
 
“AS I WAS SAYING,” Windrider continued, muttering to herself under her breath about something or other. “I have a task for all of you.”
 
“…and that task is…?” Nato prompted.
 
“Voltex,” Windrider said, scowling. “He disappeared from this very campsite two years ago. I want you all to find him.”
 
“Find Voltex?” Voxumo asked. “Why? Who cares about him?”
 
“I have received word that he is attempting to play god,” came the response. “Naturally, that cannot be allowed to continue.”
 
“Darn right!” Luroka agreed, nodding frantically and ignoring the fact that he should be nothing more than a pile of ashes. “Only I can be-”
 
Windrider silenced him with a look that promised endless torment if he continued.
 
“Very well,” Voxumo said, pulling his scythe out of nowhere and swinging it experimentally (very nearly taking off Nato’s head). “What do we do when we find him?”
 
“Bring him to me for his punishment,” Windrider ordered. “He will know eternal torment for his foolish games.”
 
Somewhere in the back of the crowd, Portalfig sobbed.
 
They all stood there in silence for another minute before Windrider frowned. “Well? Get moving!”
 
The crowd of Matoran immediately burst into action. ToaD and TimeLord were both trampled as the others sprinted back and forth to gather supplies.
 
While this was going on, Blade stepped up to Windrider, with Portalfig right behind her; the two formally shook hands.
 
“Blade, you will be the leader of this quest,” Windrider said.
 
“Of course.”
 
Portalfig frowned. “But what about-”
 
“Bring him to me alive,” Windrider continued, ignoring Portalfig’s stammering. “If he is missing one or two limbs, that is okay.”
 
Blade cackled. “Excellent.”
 
She immediately turned around and vanished into the crowd. Portalfig remained behind for a moment longer, staring at Windrider, before blinking.
 
“Ha! I win!” Windrider exclaimed, before shoving him into Taka Nuvia. “Now be gone with you!”
 
-
 
An hour later, the group was finally assembled and ready to rumble.
 
Blade, looking over her so-called team, had the brief thought that they might have a few too many characters for an adventure that would be a simple three-chapter disappointment of epic proportions, but then again – character development had always been overrated.
 
“Alright, before we begin, we’re gonna do a role call!” she announced. “When I call your name, simply shout ‘here’! Got it?”
 
“Yes!” they all cried back, thoroughly exasperated, for this was now the third role call that they had done.
 
“Blade!” she yelled, before glancing around and shrugging. “I am here.”
 
“No way,” Luroka muttered, rolling his eyes.
 
“Nato!”
 
“Here.”
 
“Luroka!”
 
“Here, obviously.”
 
“ToaD!”
 
“Present and sexy as always!”
 
“Xccj!”
 
“Not here!”
 
Blade frowned, glancing around. “Alright, where did Xccj get to?”
 
Pointing at himself, Xccj said, “uh, that was me. I was joking.”
 
“Well, stop that,” Blade snapped. “Some of us have work to do, and you’re slowing us down!”
 
“Uh… sure.”
 
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to calm herself, Blade continued. “Taka Nuvia!”
 
“Here!”
 
“Underscore!”
 
“Here.”
 
“Voxumo!”
 
“Present.”
 
“Rahkshi Guurahk!”
 
“Please, call me RG.”
 
“TimeLord!”
 
“Please, call me TL.”
 
“Valendale!”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Jed!”
 
“Here.”
 
“SV!”
 
“It’s ShadowVezon, not SV, for the last time! I keep telling you people to call me by my proper name!”
 
“Onaku!”
 
“Here, despite my wishes.”
 
“Dragonstar!”
 
“Here.”
 
“Pulse!”
 
“I’m here.”
 
“Trijhak!”
 
“Um… yeah. I said I’m here. It’s one name, two parts. You know, like a first and last name. ‘Pulse Trijhak’. Because, well, because… well, I’m not sure. It is what it is.”
 
“Unit!”
 
“Here as always.”
 
“Smoke Monster!”
 
“Present.”
 
“FF!”
 
“Please, call me… wait, what does ‘FF’ even stand for, anyway? Fantastic Four? Freaky Friday? Freddy Fazbear? Oh, whatever.”
 
“Wiriamu!”
 
“I actually don’t know why I’m here, could someone please explain?”
 
“Hellyam!”
 
“Here.”
 
“And finally… last and certainly least…” Blade’s face crinkled up into a look of disgust. “Portalfig.”
 
“I’m here,” Portalfig said quietly. “There’s no need to be rude, you know. Just because I’m actually friends with Voltex.”
 
“Whoa, whoa, hold on now,” Onaku – who was standing next to Portalfig – replied. “You’re actually friends with the guy?”
 
“Uh… yes?” Portalfig said, looking uncertain.
 
Onaku took several steps back. “Ew.”
 
“Oh come on!” Portalfig protested, throwing his arms up in the air (and accidentally knocking a clueless RG back into Nato, who cursed as he fell only to be caught by TimeLord). “What’s wrong with you people?! It’s not a crime to be friends with somebody!”
 
“Uh, yes it is, when that somebody is Voltex,” Luroka snapped, shuddering with revulsion. “Good lord, Portal, what is wrong with you?!”
 
“But you’re friends with him too!”
 
“Am not,” Luroka said, smirking. “We’re rivals. Big difference.”
 
Portalfig huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at the other Matoran, but otherwise blessedly falling silent. The silence stretched for several minutes, and was well into the awkward phase before Blade finally spoke again.
 
“Well, anyway, the last sighting of Voltex was… well, him storming away from the campfire two years ago and suddenly vanishing in the darkness. Consensus-”
 
“You mean like common sense?” Portalfig interrupted. “It’s obvious that he fell down a hole.”
 
“-states that he probably fell down a hole,” Blade finished, ignoring Portalfig. “So we must now look for a hole.”
 
“I found a hole,” Onaku replied, raising his hand. “Um, I might have accidentally shoved ShadowVezon down it a few minutes ago. By accident, of course. I didn’t mean to, I swear. It was just an accident.”
 
“Then we have our hole and we must push on through,” Blade declared.
 
“Please stop,” Nato muttered.
 
“Who wants to go first?” Blade asked. “Portalfig, how about you?”
 
The Matoran shook his head. “Uh, no thanks.”
 
Blade frowned, leaning in until her mask was pressed up against Portalfig’s. “I said, ‘how about you’?”
 
“Uh…” Portalfig trailed off, gulping nervously, before grinning weakly. “Sure?”
 
“Excellent!”
 
Without further ado, she grabbed Portalfig by the shoulders, hauled him over to where Onaku was standing, and tossed him into the hole.
 
“SON OF A BIIIIIIiiiiiii……”
 
The group stared down at where Portalfig had slowly vanished into the distance of the gaping black pit before Luroka finally spoke.
 
“Do you think that counts as bypassing the word filter?”
 
“Probably,” said ToaD, looking over from where he was busy flexing for Unit, “but who cares?”
 
“Voltex, probably,” Nato replied, before he shrugged. “Well, here goes nothing.”
 
And then Nato too jumped into the hole – and, with him having kickstarted the process, one by one, the rest of the group did so as well.
 
-
 
Windrider slowly walked up to the hole, gazing down at it with a pensive expression. The sound of footsteps on the dirt behind her drew her attention to Ehks, who looked well and truly crisped after being roasted with the marshmallows.
 
“Y’know, I was kinda hoping to do more in this,” Ehks commented. “They all get to go off on an adventure, and what do I get? A glorified cameo.”
 
“Nonsense,” Windrider replied, reaching up to stroke the disgusting and absurd-looking bird on her shoulder. “We’ll both be reappearing in Part Three – and maybe even Part Two if you’re lucky. Now my little pet here, on the other hand – it has a glorified cameo.”
 
Ehks glanced at the bird, her eyes immediately widening as she shuddered involuntarily, unable to repress the urge. “Please tell me that it’s not what I think it is.”
 
“It’s not what you think it is,” Windrider said cheerfully, still stroking the bird. “Isn’t that right, Quisoves?”
 
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.”
 
Ehks shuddered again.
 

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2:

“TEX IS THE ONE IN THE HOLE”


Welcome to my 10K 3-Part Not-So-Special.


  • Upvote 18
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is some beautiful trash writing Tex.

I feel both insultes and flattered to be a part of this.

 

 

EDIT:insulted not insulated.

I hate being forever stuck on mobile and it's horrible auto correct.

Edited by ToaTimeLord II

Hey I got a Flickr because I like making LEGO stuff.

https://www.flickr.com/people/toatimelord/
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was...interesting. In a good way.

-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

d1O9dXQ.png

 

(This banner is created by http://www.bzpower.com/board/user/59020-onaku/ )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seriously, why am I here?

Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.
So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo.
 

Check out my Creations:

Epics

G1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering Shadow


Short Stories

G1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of Jungle


MOCs

Mask Hoarder, Desert Scourge

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Am I glad that I checked this topic out... made my day. It's the most beautifully chaotic party I've ever seen.

(also I love your writing style, both in serious and not-so-serious works.)

 

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks! ^_^

 

This is some beautiful trash writing Tex.

I feel both insulated and flattered to be a part of this.

 

Thank you

I shall be stealing your use of 'insulated' for a joke in Part 2 =P

 

Okay, let's end 2017 now. There's surely nothing that can top this. 

 

I can think of at least one thing

 

That was...interesting. In a good way.

 

Are you sure?

 

Seriously, why am I here?

 

It's one of life's great mysteries.

 

And the bird that screams 'MOM!' returns, even if its only a cameo. :P

 

Regardless, this is going to be fun to see play out. :)

 

Glad you enjoyed!

I'm having fun writing it. Dumb fun but still fun.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

it's comments like these, and all the others that you leave everywhere, that are why you're not included in glorious trash like what you just read

 

<3

Okay I see

 

I just have to become even more inexcusable and make hundreds more s&t games and somehow get the staff to like me.

 

Being a little more likable is a start...

  • Upvote 6

bBhcfWO.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

it's comments like these, and all the others that you leave everywhere, that are why you're not included in glorious trash like what you just read

 

<3

Okay I see

 

I just have to become even more inexcusable and make hundreds more s&t games and somehow get the staff to like me.

 

 

whatever you say, pal

 

 

Being a little more likable is a start...

 

 

word, yo

Edited by Breath of the Wild
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was... um, something. 

 

And despite my better judgement.... I think (?) I enjoyed it. 

  • Upvote 4

Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Coming 2024 

Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review

BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash

BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base

Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you sure?

 

I'm sure enough that I want more. =P

-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

d1O9dXQ.png

 

(This banner is created by http://www.bzpower.com/board/user/59020-onaku/ )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everyone in this topic is old enough to handle personal grievances in a mature and appropriate way. Condescending comments and thinly-veiled insults are not cool. Never have been, never will be.

 

So quit the passive-aggressive comments. This is the only warning y'all are gonna get.

 

tl;dr i am staff hear me MOOOM

  • Upvote 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I must say while I read this in the shower I laughed too hard at it and managed to not only get soap in my eyes but also my mouth.

 

Would read it again and have the same thing happen 10/10.

 

Excellent!

 

 

Are you sure?

I'm sure enough that I want more. =P

 

If you insist

 

Everyone in this topic is old enough to handle personal grievances in a mature and appropriate way. Condescending comments and thinly-veiled insults are not cool. Never have been, never will be.

 

So quit the passive-aggressive comments. This is the only warning y'all are gonna get.

 

tl;dr i am staff hear me MOOOM

 

Duly noted o7

 

Finally read through this, and I am greatly amused. One could even say I am inspired.

 

I aim to amuse, but I only dream of inspiring.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am greatly insulted I was not included in such glorious trash

 

Hope you all die in that hole like a Potoo

 

 

/s

I concur, since I was not included either.

Then again, I'm 80% sure this is my first BZP post of 2017, which just goes to show how far I've fallen from my glory days. I should fix that.

 

Finally read through this, and I am greatly amused. One could even say I am inspired.

Me too. I'm so inspired, I'm probably going to post the prose garbage that was the ending of The Fire Chronicles pretty soon. Stay tuned, 8/7c.

 

Breath, nice nickname and quite an interesting read. I look forward to reading more (if I ever return to BZP before the world ends)

  • Upvote 1
The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!!

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I am greatly insulted I was not included in such glorious trash

 

Hope you all die in that hole like a Potoo

 

 

/s

I concur, since I was not included either.

Then again, I'm 80% sure this is my first BZP post of 2017, which just goes to show how far I've fallen from my glory days. I should fix that.

 

Finally read through this, and I am greatly amused. One could even say I am inspired.

Me too. I'm so inspired, I'm probably going to post the prose garbage that was the ending of The Fire Chronicles pretty soon. Stay tuned, 8/7c.

 

Breath, nice nickname and quite an interesting read. I look forward to reading more (if I ever return to BZP before the world ends)

 

 

Glad you were inspired =P

 

This piece of trash is based mostly upon G&T in-jokes, hence the presence of members prominent over there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

I am greatly insulted I was not included in such glorious trash

 

Hope you all die in that hole like a Potoo

 

 

/s

I concur, since I was not included either.

Then again, I'm 80% sure this is my first BZP post of 2017, which just goes to show how far I've fallen from my glory days. I should fix that.

 

Finally read through this, and I am greatly amused. One could even say I am inspired.

Me too. I'm so inspired, I'm probably going to post the prose garbage that was the ending of The Fire Chronicles pretty soon. Stay tuned, 8/7c.

 

Breath, nice nickname and quite an interesting read. I look forward to reading more (if I ever return to BZP before the world ends)

 

 

Glad you were inspired =P

 

This piece of trash is based mostly upon G&T in-jokes, hence the presence of members prominent over there.

 

I completely understand. .0000001% offense taken to that statement. :P

 

(Side note: This is actually my third post of the year. Brilliant. I'll be lucky if I get to 400 xD)

The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!!

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

PART TWO: TEX IS THE ONE IN THE HOLE

 

-

 

In which Portalfig continues to be the butt of many jokes, Blade and crew enter a hole, TimeLord and RG share valuable bonding time, Burnmad becomes his own worst nightmare, Tiragath builds a wall, Nato discovers a dream come true, Voltex reveals himself to the mere mortals, Luroka continues to stoke his own ego, ToaD continues to flex, SPIRIT is present in spirit, and Windrider waits around.

 

-

 

“…iiiiiiIIIIIIIITCH-”

 

Portalfig was cut off as he hit the ground with a decisive crunch, having crushed what appeared to be a giant crab.

 

“Ooowwww….”

 

“…aaaaaAAAAAAAAH-” ShadowVezon was also cut off, having landed on top of Portalfig. “Oof! Dude, not cool. He totally pushed me on purpose!”

 

“Please get off of me,” Portalfig whispered, trying and failing to claw his way to freedom.

 

Frowning, ShadowVezon shifted in place as he tried to look underneath himself, accidentally shoving Portalfig further into the dirt – and whatever was left of the giant crab that he had crushed, of course. “Portal? Is that you?”

 

“Please get off of me,” the Matoran weakly repeated.

 

ShadowVezon snorted derisively, but nonetheless did as asked. “Lying down on the job as usual, eh Portal? Should’ve known.”

 

“Shut your face,” Portalfig snapped, standing to his feet and brushing both dirt and crab guts off of his armor. “Aw, geez, this is disgusting. These crab guts are totally gonna stain my armor. This sucks!”

 

“Where do you suppose everyone else is?” ShadowVezon asked.

 

“I don’t know and I don’t really care, either,” Portalfig replied. “They can go and-”

 

“Because I really want to punch Onaku in the face,” ShadowVezon continued, both interrupting and ignoring the other Matoran. “Who pushes someone else down a hole?”

 

“I think the better question is, ‘how the heck did I end up landing before you’?” Portalfig asked, glaring up at the sky, which was bright blue without a cloud in sight. “Seriously, you must have started falling at least thirty seconds before me, and I know I didn’t pass you in mid-air. Also, where the heck are we? How is there a bright blue sky? Aren’t we underground?”

 

“Who are you, TimeLord?” ShadowVezon asked, lips curling into a sneer. “Stop asking so many questions.”

 

Portalfig sighed. “I am truly beginning to hate you.”

 

Pop.

 

ShadowVezon frowned. “Did you hear a pop?”

 

“A pop? Yeah. I think so,” Portalfig replied, refusing to look at him. “Why?”

 

“Hello,” said a new voice behind him.

 

“GAH!”

 

Portalfig turned back around to see ShadowVezon having fallen down on his butt; the Matoran was staring up at a new person who was clad in white and black armor, with a white mask that was typical of all of those characters from Okoto that people called ‘Protectors’ from the short-lived Bionicle 2015 reboot.

 

“Hey there,” said the newcomer, smirking. “I just thought that I would pop by, if you know what I mean.”

 

ShadowVezon stood to his feet, scowling as he brushed dirt off of his legs. “No. Just no.”

 

“Wait a minute,” Portalfig said slowly. “Only one person I know would make a joke that bad. Voltex?”

 

A look of confusion spread across the newcomer’s face, and they shook their head. “Uh… no. Who the heck is Voltex?”

 

Portalfig sagged. “Aw. I was so sure.”

 

The newcomer laughed. “Nah, I’m just messing with you! I am Voltex actually. It’s good to see you, Portal.”

 

Portalfig grinned and the two embraced, though Portalfig quickly released the hug before Voltex could so something like stab him in the back. Voltex glanced over at ShadowVezon and frowned.

 

“SV?”

 

“Don’t call me that,” ShadowVezon snapped. “Whatever, we found you, now we can go back up top and hand you over to Windrider.”

 

“Go back?” Voltex asked, shaking his head and chuckling. “No, I don’t think so. I’m quite happy down here.”

 

“But-”

 

“Follow me,” Voltex said, ignoring ShadowVezon. “Let me show you the throne.”

 

-

 

Nato groaned, fruitlessly attempting to plug his ears with the carrots that he had stolen from Onaku’s pockets earlier – but it was no use. He could still hear both RG and TimeLord arguing up ahead.

 

It was something to do with patience, or maybe patients? It was hard to tell – TimeLord had mentioned waiting times at the doctor’s office at least twice, but both times RG had apparently not understood the sudden topic change.

 

“Aren’t you glad to be here Nato?” TimeLord asked, suddenly glancing back at him.

 

Whyyyyyyyyy, Nato thought to himself, trying and failing to hold back his exasperation.

 

“TimeLord, if you ask another question, I’m going to smash your skull with a large rock,” he said, having long ago surpassed his breaking point. “That’s a promise.”

 

TimeLord paused for a moment before speaking again. “So does that mean you’re not glad to be here? Because I’m kinda conflicted, you know? I’m a little insulated, but also flattered. You?”

 

Nato snapped his fingers (knowing that somewhere, Burnmad was probably already preparing to sue him) and RG immediately wrestled TimeLord to the ground. Nato looked around for a large rock and conveniently found one by his feet; he picked it up and walked over, crouching over TimeLord.

 

“You’re not actually going to do this, are you?” TimeLord asked, clearly trying to stall for time. “Not again?!”

 

“What can I say?” Nato replied, shrugging. “I’m a man of my word.”

 

And that was the end of that.

 

---

 

ToaD and Luroka, having also been separated from the group, were busy in yet another competition of egos – one that ToaD, despite Luroka’s best efforts, was winning.

 

“Check this out,” ToaD said, flashing his six-pack abs. “Oh yeah, you like that?”

 

Luroka nodded. “I could practically fry eggs on those, they’re so hot!”

 

ToaD frowned. “Uh… sure?”

 

“Still,” Luroka continued, puffing out his chest. “You ain’t got nothin’ on me! I’m the RNG-God! RNGesus. RNGod. Um… you know, none of these are sounding as cool as they did in my head. Hmm. This is a problem.”

 

His musings were interrupted by a swirling purple vortex appearing several feet away, dumping out another Matoran with a bang.

 

BANG!

 

The newcomer stood to their feet and dusted themselves off, mumbling something under their breath about delayed entrances or something.

 

ToaD, knowing exactly what to do, flexed in the newcomer’s direction – only to frown again as the newcomer utterly failed to swoon. He flexed again, and then again, but to no avail until finally, growing desperate, he cried out: “who are you?!”

 

“It’s ya boi, Guzma!”

 

“Wait, really?” ToaD asked, sharing a confused look with Luroka.

 

“Nah, I’m not Guzma,” the newcomer said, shifting into a heroic pose. “I am... SPIRIT!”

 

“Who?” Luroka asked.

 

SPIRIT gaped. “Who?! What do you mean, who?! It’s me! Ya boi, SPIRIT!”

 

Luroka shook his head, shrugging apologetically. “Sorry. No idea who you are.”

 

“I-I-I refuse to believe this,” SPIRIT stammered. “You simply must know who I am! I only wrote the best Bionicle Movie Spoofs of all time, you know! And I hosted an RPG once. I used to be the best staff member there ever was until I retired and Windrider immediately stole my place, the fiend. Everybody knew Sumiki was supposed to get the position instead, but no, Windrider just had to show how awesome she was! But whatever, it’s not like I care or anything. I’m SPIRIT!”

 

Looking rather bemused, Luroka turned to ToaD, who shrugged helplessly. “Nah, I haven’t got any clue who you are either. All I know is that you don’t swoon when I flex, and that scares me. Everybody swoons when I flex.”

 

SPIRIT smirked. “Sorry pal. But I don’t swoon when you flex because it’s the other way around – you swoon, and I flex.”

 

To demonstrate, SPIRIT flexed both of his arms. ToaD and Luroka both immediately swooned, though both recovered quickly – Luroka because swooning harmed his ego, and ToaD because if he knew one thing, it was that this muscular upstart needed to be squashed pronto.

 

He pointed fiercely at SPIRIT. “I challenge you to a DUEL!”

 

A pout worked its way onto SPIRIT’s face. “Aw, come on. You guys don’t even know who I am! Can’t you just let SPIRIT keep his flexing prowess? It’s all I have left, you know. Sumiki stole all my hats. Heck, I wasn’t even going to be here originally. I had to ask Voltex. Can you believe it? Me! SPIRIT! Asking for a spot. What has the world come to, I ask? What kind of world makes SPIRIT ask for a part in anything?”

 

“So what, is this supposed to be a cameo or something?” Luroka asked.

 

SPIRIT sniffed, looking affronted. “A cameo? Please. SPIRIT does not cameo. He guest stars.”

 

Luroka nodded quickly. “Sure, sure. Gotcha.”

 

“Enough!” ToaD snapped, pointing at SPIRIT even more fiercely than before. “I challenge you to a duel, foul fiend!”

 

SPIRIT sighed. “Very well.”

 

Pulling a bar of soap out of his pocket, SPIRIT lunged forward and shoved it into ToaD’s mouth. While ToaD was busy trying to remove it (but only succeeding in getting soap suds in his eyes), SPIRIT turned away and began chanting in a language that was both familiar and dreadful to both Luroka and ToaD.

 

It was the language… of the Potoo.

 

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.”

 

Luroka did the only thing he could do – he swallowed his ego and hid behind the nearest tree.

 

“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.”

 

ToaD, having finally spat the soap out and freed one of his eyes, shuddered and weakly flexed, to no avail.

 

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.”

 

A portal into another world opened, and out popped…

 

“Oh dead,” said ToaD, right before he fainted.

 

This thing:

 

IJcRlUQ.jpg

 

“BONEWHEEL, I am ya boi, SPIRIT!” SPIRIT yelled. “I have summoned you to eat this Potoo dropping who thinks he can out-flex SPIRIT! Eat him! Eat him now!”

 

From behind the tree, Luroka watched with wide eyes as the Bonewheel slowly rolled forward with a series of clicks. Its mouth opened wide, and wider, and wider, and wider, and then it swallowed ToaD whole. Luroka sobbed.

 

Looking satisfied, SPIRIT banished the Bonewheel to another dimension with a simple flick of his wrist, dooming the poor Matoran of Metru-Nui to a terrible fate. The clearly Guest Starring Retired Staff Member walked around the tree and patted Luroka on the shoulder. “There, there, it’s okay. He won’t hurt you with his terrible flexing ever again. It’s okay. I’m here now. I’m ya boi SPIRIT. I will guide you, and together, we will build your ego so big that you’ll think it was miniscule before.”

 

“Really?” Luroka asked, looking up at SPIRIT with awe.

 

SPIRIT nodded. “Of course! Now come, my Skull Grunt. We must visit Voltex before he finishes converting Nato over to his Game of Thrones.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

---

 

Meanwhile Nato and RG had been led to a throne room by none other than Onaku and Xccj – the former of which appeared to be conflicted between whether he should hate himself or enjoy himself, while the latter was simply happy to be there.

 

In the throne room they found both Portalfig and ShadowVezon standing on either side of the throne – and upon the throne itself was none other than…

 

“Wait a minute, Voxumo?” Nato asked. “What are you doing here?!”

 

Voxumo fingered the scythe sitting his lap, staring down at Nato impassively. “I am the King, of course. Although I have heard that the position is actually called ‘Mask Maker’. Nonetheless, I have usurped the throne. It is mine now; I rule over this land.”

 

Nato glanced over at RG (and boy was that making him question his sanity. Why was he asking RG to help him make sense of the world? All RG ever worried about was his collection of saxophones). Obviously, RG was just as clueless as he was.

 

Xccj took pity on them, but only so that he could have another line. “This island is Okoto. When Voltex fell down here two years ago, I guess he… took over? And, well, Voxumo, Onaku and I made it all the way here only to find out that there was nobody here, and before Onaku or I could do anything, Voxumo just sat on the throne and claimed it was his, and now we’re being forced to obey him.”

 

“Why?” asked Nato.

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why are you being forced to obey him?”

 

Xccj looked confused. “Isn’t that what happens when somebody sits on a throne? You have to obey them?”

 

Onaku nodded along, glancing up at Voxumo with pure hatred. “He’s right. We’re forced to obey his every command. I wish I was dead.”

 

“But… that’s not how thrones work,” Nato said slowly. “I mean, he could threaten you if you disobey him, but he can’t force you.”

 

“You are wrong,” said Voxumo. “I will show you. Onaku, bow to me!”

 

Onaku bowed stiffly.

 

“ShadowVezon, declare that you are totally fine with being called SV.”

 

“I am totally fine with being called SV,” SV said through gritted teeth.

 

“Xccj, quit staff!”

 

Xccj choked. “I can’t! Black Six isn’t here!”

 

“That’s fine, I didn’t want you to do it anyway. RG, break this saxophone!”

 

Voxumo tossed a saxophone at RG, who trembled and let a single tear escape before he brought the saxophone down on his knee, breaking it into two pieces. Smirking, Voxumo pointed at Portal with the blade of his scythe. “Portal!”

 

“Yes, Voxumo?”

 

“Tell us all that you hate Voltex!”

 

Portalfig burst into tears instead. Voxumo shrugged before looking back at Nato.

 

“See?”

 

Glancing around, Nato decided only the truth would fit this situation, no matter how much it hurt to admit it. “I have no idea what is happening.”

 

He jumped about three feet in the air when a soft voice in his ear said, “I’m exactly the same.”

 

“Voltex,” Voxumo snarled from atop the throne.

 

Nato turned, and there indeed was Voltex, who had apparently leaned forward specifically to whisper right into his ear. He glared.

 

Voltex smirked.

 

He glared harder.

 

Voltex’s smirk grew.

 

Nato gave up.

 

“Welcome to Okoto, Nato,” Voltex said, stepping forward and patting him on the shoulder. “It’s quite the place, isn’t it? Do you like my throne?”

 

“Uh… I guess? I’m still confused.”

 

“It all started two years ago,” Voltex said, his eyes focusing off in the distance as he remembered. “At the time, Okoto had no ruler of its own, so I thought to myself, ‘why don’t I take over’? Of course, it was harder than it sounds. I had to dance with dragons, and serve a feast for crows, and survive a storm of swords, and by the time all that was done practically everybody on Okoto wanted to be King so we had a mighty clash. But finally, after an entire week, the throne was mine.”

 

“You did all that in a week?”

 

“Now Okoto plays the game of thrones every second of every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year,” Voltex continued, his eyes now focusing on Nato’s. “Would you like to play?”

 

A bead of sweat rolled down Nato’s neck. “Play? The Game of Thrones?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“With politics?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And backstabbing?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And seizing power from behind the scenes right under your enemy’s feet.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And.. and… um… I uh…” Nato trembled, but fought against his base urges. “No, no… I really shouldn’t….”

 

Voltex smiled. “Come now, Nato. Imagine – you could betray your closest ally, and force your enemy to watch as you seize the throne from right in front of their eyes – or even better, out from under them.”

 

It was too much, and Nato gave in. “YES! YES!”

 

It was, after all, all of his dreams come true.

 

Mostly.

 

Well, not really. But Okoto did weird things to people’s minds, and like everyone else from Games & Trivia, Nato had already gone around the bend anyway.

 

Still, when he grabbed Voxumo’s scythe and beheaded him with it before tossing the corpse aside and taking the throne for himself seconds later, it was a moment that would be spoken of in legend for millennia to come.

 

---

 

Elsewhere, Blade had finally managed to reunite the rest of the team – minus Valendale (who had accepted the first opportunity to be turned into an ice statue offered to him), Hellyam (who had been sucked into a strange, flaming land of demons upon arrival who had cursed him even as they dragged him down below for taking their name or something), Dragonstar (who had found a dragon and immediately decided to take it for a flight, only to be eaten), and FF (who had found a series of Fluorescent Flowers and decided that he had finally found the true meaning of his name, and decided to live there evermore).

 

 Still, even with just Underscore, Taka Nuvia, Jed, Smoke Monster, Unit, Wiriamu, and Pulse Trijhak, she could not help but feel like there were still too many people. A few would undoubtedly be written out for no good reason in Part 3 just to up the stakes.

 

Their character issues were not helped by finding two other Matoran, whom nobody had actually realized were missing until they found them.

 

“Burnmad?” Blade asked. “And… Tiragath? What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m building a wall,” Tiragath said, looking at her like she was stupid (because he was, in fact, about halfway through building what appeared to be a 300 feet tall wall). “I’m going to make Okoto great again.”

 

“Uh… sure,” she said, turning to Burnmad, who was for some reason blue instead of red, and sobbing. “Um… Burnmad?”

 

Burnmad only sobbed even harder and louder.

 

“…Burnmad?”

 

The sobs turned into wails.

 

“Don’t bother him,” Tiragath ordered. “He’s just upset because I banned those nasty Fire Elements from Okoto. I can’t make Okoto great again if they’re just gonna burn it all down, after all! If you want him to talk, call him Dampsad. Isn’t that right, Dampsad?”

 

Dampsad’s wails stopped and he hiccupped, rubbing at his running nose before turning towards them, tears still leaking out of his eyes as he nodded pitifully.

 

“Dampsad,” Blade said, thoroughly unimpressed. “Really? We’re going there?!”

 

“Listen, sometimes people get sad, and you need to help them build that back up. Because Okoto, Okoto, Okoto’s in rough shape. And we need to make it great again. So you tell me,” Tiragath rambled, sounding like a poor impression of… well, now that Blade thought about it, she actually didn’t know. It was just a poor impression.

 

“Dampsad,” Unit muttered behind her, shaking his head.

 

“Yes?” Dampsad asked, hiccupping again. “Do you actually need me for something, or can I start bawling again?”

 

“Alright, that’s enough of that, you’re both coming with us,” Blade decided. “Whatever has happened to Burnmad, I’m putting a stop to it right now. I mean, he’s insufferable when he’s always burning mad, but this is just disturbing. Burnmad doesn’t sob. He just sets you on fire.”

 

Dampsad sobbed.

 

---

 

Back up top, Ehks glanced over at Windrider, who appeared to be enjoying a game of Solitaire.

 

Ehks sighed. “You know, it’s been like, three days. I don’t think they’re bringing Voltex back.”

 

“You’re right,” Windrider agreed. “Several of them are probably dead, staying there forever, or being brainwashed by Voltex to play his newest game as we speak. That’s why I allowed SPIRIT to break through the interdimensional barrier to join in even though he has some sort of weird, one-sided feud with me.”

 

“SPIRIT?” Ehks asked. “Who is that?”

 

A smirk spread across Windrider’s face, and she chuckled. “You wouldn’t know him.”

 

“Oh.”

 

After a moment, Ehks spoke again.

 

“But how do we know that this SPIRIT will actually… do whatever you want him to do?”

 

“Good question,” Windrider replied, standing to her feet. “Come along, Ehks. You’re right. I should just find Voltex and curse him to eternal torment myself.”

 

“You’re not going to bring your Potoo with us, are you?”

 

“No,” Windrider said, stroking the Potoo on her shoulder. “Not at all!”

 

Ehks shuddered, knowing that arguing was pointless. “Fine.”

 

TO BE CONCLUDED IN PART 3:

“THERE IS [NO] POTOO”

 

Will Nato win the game of thrones? Will Windrider finally catch Voltex? Will the Potoo let loose its cry once more? Will Luroka re-gain his ego? Will Wiriamu learn why he's there? Will Tiragath finish his wall? Will Burnmad stay Dampsad? Will SPIRIT still Guest Star?

 

Find out in the (not) stunning (at all) conclusion!

  • Upvote 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. 

 

I'm almost certainly going to die horribly in Part 3, but for now, I am content. 

  • Upvote 1

Embers - a new Bionicle Epic - Coming 2024 

Class Is Out - A Farewell To Corpus Rahkshi - Chapters/Review

BZPRPG Characters - Minnorak, Kain, T'harrak, Savis, Vazaria, Lash

BZPRPG Mercenary Group - The Outsiders - Description - History - Base

Ghosts Of Bara Magna - Ash Tribe - Precipere - Kehla, Somok, Skrall, Gayle, Avinus, Zha'ar

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. 

 

I'm almost certainly going to die horribly in Part 3, but for now, I am content. 

 

I too will be content, until the horrid monstrosity that is Natoltex arrives.

 

In which Luroka is forever resigned to being the Dragon

 

In which Luroka will prove that having too much of an ego is actually a good thing. =P

 

I was snickering the whole way through, but I lost it when I got to "Dampsad". Flawless chapter, I wonder what the 3rd installment will have in for us

 

Glad you enjoyed it! Believe it or not, you'll get a starring role and a full character arc in the next chapter!

 

(Even though you've had a total of one line and two mentions thus far... don't worry... it'll be worth it)

 

:evilgrin:

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Despite a mediocre first chapter, the second chapter was more than able to make up for it with the inclusion of a refreshing new character. The dialogue and actions of the SPIRIT character were combined flawlessly to bring such an important historical figure to life. As a long time academic and researcher in the field, I can safely assert that this is the most accurate portrayal of SPIRIT in a work of fiction in our time. His introduction helped turn a third rate, predictable tale into a veritable tour de force. I was truly gripped by every word, and I believe this deserves a place alongside the works of Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Rowling, Dahl, and Watterson. We shall watch your career with great interest.

  • Upvote 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Despite a mediocre first chapter, the second chapter was more than able to make up for it with the inclusion of a refreshing new character. The dialogue and actions of the SPIRIT character were combined flawlessly to bring such an important historical figure to life. As a long time academic and researcher in the field, I can safely assert that this is the most accurate portrayal of SPIRIT in a work of fiction in our time. His introduction helped turn a third rate, predictable tale into a veritable tour de force. I was truly gripped by every word, and I believe this deserves a place alongside the works of Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Rowling, Dahl, and Watterson. We shall watch your career with great interest.

 

I'm glad that this can now be appreciated among the classics.

 

I never dreamed that I would reach the level of Watterson, this is a dream come true ;__; (<---happy tears)

                                                                                                                                      

 

THIS TEX IS ON FIRE

 

THEY'RE WALKING ON FIRE

 

Hmm. "Fluorescent Flowers?" Thank you for giving me my next username after this one :P. Now, I'm almost content with spending the rest of my life with those flowers.

 

No problem! The moment I learned of the Fluorescent Flowers, I knew they were for you.

 

This isn't really my kind of thing, but I will say I appreciated the Dampsad bit. =P

 

I'll be back to catch the last chapter.

 

- :burnmad:

 

Glad you appreciated it. =P

I have a pretty cool idea for poor ol' Dampsad to get back to normal in Part 3.

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...